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1
00:00:02,707 --> 00:00:05,624
Cheers is filmed before
a live studio audience.
2
00:00:06,794 --> 00:00:08,794
Well, that cute little dimple?
3
00:00:08,829 --> 00:00:10,006
Well, I think I still got it.
4
00:00:10,030 --> 00:00:11,710
It's kind of hard for
me to see back there.
5
00:00:13,434 --> 00:00:17,036
Um, Renee, I'm going to
have to get back to you.
6
00:00:17,072 --> 00:00:18,638
Yeah, bye-bye.
7
00:00:18,673 --> 00:00:20,406
Uh, Linda, sweetheart,
8
00:00:20,441 --> 00:00:22,253
uh, can we continue
this over lunch?
9
00:00:22,277 --> 00:00:24,626
Well, um, your place.
10
00:00:24,662 --> 00:00:25,662
Don't cook.
11
00:00:29,500 --> 00:00:31,800
Let me guess... personal call?
12
00:00:31,835 --> 00:00:33,452
Very.
13
00:00:33,487 --> 00:00:36,188
Malone, I find
winking really smarmy.
14
00:00:36,223 --> 00:00:38,958
Yeah, but beneath this
smarm is a lot of charm,
15
00:00:38,993 --> 00:00:40,810
and I think you know that.
16
00:00:41,796 --> 00:00:43,412
I know this...
17
00:00:43,447 --> 00:00:46,249
I want you out of my office now.
18
00:00:46,284 --> 00:00:48,217
All right, all right. I'm sorry.
19
00:00:48,253 --> 00:00:50,686
I know I'm not supposed
to get personal calls here,
20
00:00:50,721 --> 00:00:52,582
but what the hey, you
know; super-strength Sammy
21
00:00:52,606 --> 00:00:54,351
has been off the shelves
now for over a year...
22
00:00:54,375 --> 00:00:56,455
There's a lot of pent-up
demand out there.
23
00:00:57,461 --> 00:00:58,894
What can I say?
24
00:00:58,930 --> 00:01:00,607
Say, "I'd better
get back to work.
25
00:01:00,631 --> 00:01:02,515
I don't want to get fired."
26
00:01:02,550 --> 00:01:04,517
You're cute when
you're humorless.
27
00:01:04,552 --> 00:01:05,552
Did you know that?
28
00:01:07,022 --> 00:01:08,788
Cheers.
29
00:01:08,823 --> 00:01:10,023
No, Simone, I'm sorry.
30
00:01:10,058 --> 00:01:11,068
Sam's working.
31
00:01:11,092 --> 00:01:12,203
Simone? Wait, wait, wait.
32
00:01:12,227 --> 00:01:14,043
Try him later at home.
33
00:01:15,096 --> 00:01:16,096
Well, then, perhaps
34
00:01:16,130 --> 00:01:18,050
on your next
visit to the States.
35
00:01:20,401 --> 00:01:22,050
Simone?
36
00:01:22,086 --> 00:01:24,536
Man, you just cost
me a roll in the hay.
37
00:01:24,572 --> 00:01:25,404
I owe you one.
38
00:01:25,439 --> 00:01:26,305
You're on.
39
00:01:26,341 --> 00:01:27,790
I didn't mean that.
40
00:01:27,825 --> 00:01:29,785
Wait a minute. I think we
need to get something...
41
00:01:33,481 --> 00:01:35,982
♪ Making your way
in the world today ♪
42
00:01:36,017 --> 00:01:39,052
♪ Takes everything you've got ♪
43
00:01:39,087 --> 00:01:41,754
♪ Taking a break
from all your worries ♪
44
00:01:41,790 --> 00:01:45,224
♪ Sure would help a lot ♪
45
00:01:45,259 --> 00:01:50,079
♪ Wouldn't you
like to get away? ♪
46
00:01:50,114 --> 00:01:53,065
♪ Sometimes you want to go ♪
47
00:01:53,101 --> 00:01:58,537
♪ Where everybody
knows your name ♪
48
00:01:58,573 --> 00:02:03,109
♪ And they're always
glad you came ♪
49
00:02:03,144 --> 00:02:05,511
♪ You want to be
where you can see ♪
50
00:02:05,546 --> 00:02:08,081
♪ Our troubles
are all the same ♪
51
00:02:08,116 --> 00:02:13,452
♪ You want to be where
everybody knows your name ♪
52
00:02:13,487 --> 00:02:15,922
♪ You want to go
where people know ♪
53
00:02:15,957 --> 00:02:18,091
♪ People are all the same ♪
54
00:02:18,126 --> 00:02:22,795
♪ You want to go where
everybody knows your name. ♪
55
00:02:41,115 --> 00:02:43,715
Geez... listen to this.
56
00:02:43,751 --> 00:02:45,462
"Scientists discover wild parrot
57
00:02:45,486 --> 00:02:49,288
who claims to be Elvis."
58
00:02:49,323 --> 00:02:52,792
So?
59
00:02:52,827 --> 00:02:54,093
"So?"
60
00:02:54,128 --> 00:02:55,622
I mean, this one
wins the "Too stupid
61
00:02:55,646 --> 00:02:59,047
for even you, Cliff" award.
62
00:02:59,083 --> 00:03:00,327
Now, really, must you two wallow
63
00:03:00,351 --> 00:03:03,302
in this sensationalistic tripe?
64
00:03:03,337 --> 00:03:06,271
It pains me no end to
see America's wits dulled
65
00:03:06,307 --> 00:03:09,975
and their morals abrogated
by this opiate of the asses.
66
00:03:11,412 --> 00:03:13,646
Well, let's check
this out, Cliffie.
67
00:03:13,681 --> 00:03:15,648
"I was Sigmund
Freud's love child."
68
00:03:15,683 --> 00:03:17,683
No!
69
00:03:19,154 --> 00:03:20,581
I've heard rumors
that he betrayed Martha
70
00:03:20,605 --> 00:03:21,570
with his sister-in-law,
71
00:03:21,606 --> 00:03:23,606
but I never dreamed
there were progeny.
72
00:03:24,892 --> 00:03:27,542
You rapscallions.
73
00:03:30,981 --> 00:03:33,482
What are you
whistling about, huh?
74
00:03:33,518 --> 00:03:35,362
You haven't got a
dime to your name.
75
00:03:35,386 --> 00:03:37,431
You're working for a
woman who's a meat grinder,
76
00:03:37,455 --> 00:03:41,357
and you look like a
baboon in that uniform.
77
00:03:41,392 --> 00:03:46,462
Boy, life really stinks.
78
00:03:52,136 --> 00:03:53,380
You okay?
79
00:03:53,404 --> 00:03:55,470
I feel like puke.
80
00:03:55,506 --> 00:03:59,608
Well, you're wearing
the right uniform.
81
00:03:59,643 --> 00:04:00,976
Want to talk about it?
82
00:04:01,012 --> 00:04:02,862
No, what's there to say
83
00:04:02,897 --> 00:04:06,131
about a no-good, ice-eating
little geek like Eddie LeBec.
84
00:04:06,167 --> 00:04:08,284
He's known since a week ago
85
00:04:08,319 --> 00:04:09,818
that I got his bun in my oven,
86
00:04:09,854 --> 00:04:11,487
and what the hell
has he done about it?
87
00:04:11,522 --> 00:04:12,705
Jack Diddley.
88
00:04:15,210 --> 00:04:16,392
Don't look now,
89
00:04:16,427 --> 00:04:18,494
but your ice-eating
geek just walked in.
90
00:04:19,513 --> 00:04:22,198
Don't you just love him?
91
00:04:22,233 --> 00:04:23,799
Hi, Carla.
92
00:04:23,834 --> 00:04:24,666
Hi, Eddie.
93
00:04:24,701 --> 00:04:25,968
You, uh, busy?
94
00:04:26,003 --> 00:04:26,902
Just a minute.
95
00:04:26,937 --> 00:04:28,087
Uh, look,
96
00:04:28,122 --> 00:04:29,766
would you just write
down what you want,
97
00:04:29,790 --> 00:04:31,790
and hand it to Howdy
Doody over there?
98
00:04:34,011 --> 00:04:35,422
I'm all yours. Okay.
99
00:04:35,446 --> 00:04:37,012
So, what's new?
100
00:04:37,047 --> 00:04:39,681
Well, I, uh, I've had a
lot on my mind lately.
101
00:04:39,717 --> 00:04:40,682
Yeah?
102
00:04:40,718 --> 00:04:43,986
You know, training
camp's really been rough
103
00:04:44,021 --> 00:04:45,554
and a lot of
competition at goalie,
104
00:04:45,590 --> 00:04:48,156
and really having to work
my tail off to keep up, eh?
105
00:04:48,192 --> 00:04:51,226
Sounds rough. Yeah.
106
00:04:51,262 --> 00:04:53,128
Say, you know, uh,
since I'm already here,
107
00:04:53,164 --> 00:04:55,063
there's something I've
been wanting to ask you.
108
00:04:55,099 --> 00:04:56,182
Yeah?
109
00:04:56,217 --> 00:04:57,249
It's a question.
110
00:04:57,285 --> 00:05:00,152
I like questions.
111
00:05:00,188 --> 00:05:01,354
Okay, but,
112
00:05:01,389 --> 00:05:02,688
see, this is the
kind of question
113
00:05:02,723 --> 00:05:03,968
a guy really doesn't want to ask
114
00:05:03,992 --> 00:05:05,691
if he thinks he might
get "no" for answer.
115
00:05:05,726 --> 00:05:08,794
Well, it's kind of hard for
a girl to give an answer
116
00:05:08,829 --> 00:05:10,941
until she knows
what the question is.
117
00:05:10,965 --> 00:05:12,365
Okay, but, you see,
118
00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:13,610
it would be a lot
easier for a guy
119
00:05:13,634 --> 00:05:14,711
if he had some sort of sign...
120
00:05:14,735 --> 00:05:16,352
Ask me, you little frog!
121
00:05:16,387 --> 00:05:17,353
Okay.
122
00:05:17,388 --> 00:05:18,520
Carla, would you...?
123
00:05:18,556 --> 00:05:20,322
Yes! Yes!
124
00:05:20,358 --> 00:05:21,890
Oh, oh, oh. Eddie, yes.
125
00:05:21,925 --> 00:05:23,459
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
126
00:05:23,494 --> 00:05:25,027
Carla, do you mind if we,
127
00:05:25,062 --> 00:05:26,262
you know, we keep this quiet?
128
00:05:26,297 --> 00:05:28,464
You know me, I don't
like a lot of hoopla.
129
00:05:28,499 --> 00:05:30,966
Oh, yeah, sorry.
130
00:05:33,003 --> 00:05:34,948
Would it be okay
if I just told Sam?
131
00:05:34,972 --> 00:05:36,138
I guess.
132
00:05:36,174 --> 00:05:37,239
Hey, Sammy!
133
00:05:37,275 --> 00:05:38,652
Me and Eddie are
getting married!
134
00:05:40,010 --> 00:05:41,770
Oh, my God. Hey, hey, hey.
135
00:05:43,581 --> 00:05:44,880
Get over here, Eddie!
136
00:05:45,916 --> 00:05:47,449
What's going on?
137
00:05:47,485 --> 00:05:48,795
Oh, great news, Miss Howe.
138
00:05:48,819 --> 00:05:50,464
Carla's marrying Eddie LeBec.
139
00:05:50,488 --> 00:05:54,390
Oh, that cute little guy
with the dents in his nose.
140
00:05:56,260 --> 00:05:58,260
Hey, listen up, everybody.
141
00:05:58,295 --> 00:05:59,628
Wait, wait, wait, here we go.
142
00:05:59,663 --> 00:06:00,629
Here we go, here we go.
143
00:06:00,664 --> 00:06:02,297
I want to be making a toast
144
00:06:02,333 --> 00:06:03,660
to my beautiful bride-to-be.
145
00:06:03,684 --> 00:06:05,162
Listen, you know, I
don't make my living
146
00:06:05,186 --> 00:06:07,086
using words, so this is
gonna be kind of hard
147
00:06:07,121 --> 00:06:09,432
for me, okay, but here it goes.
148
00:06:09,456 --> 00:06:12,858
Uh, Carla...
149
00:06:12,894 --> 00:06:15,460
Well, you know.
150
00:06:17,799 --> 00:06:19,564
Well, you know.
151
00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:20,932
Yeah.
152
00:06:20,968 --> 00:06:23,419
I love you, sweetie.
153
00:06:23,454 --> 00:06:25,365
Hey, congratulations,
man. This is terrific.
154
00:06:25,389 --> 00:06:26,254
Thanks.
155
00:06:26,290 --> 00:06:27,701
Are you gonna take
her on a honeymoon?
156
00:06:27,725 --> 00:06:29,453
Hey, got any suggestions? Yeah.
157
00:06:29,477 --> 00:06:30,654
New Orleans.
158
00:06:30,678 --> 00:06:32,222
I found a great little
honeymoon spot
159
00:06:32,246 --> 00:06:34,325
just kind of tucked
away off Bourbon Street.
160
00:06:34,349 --> 00:06:37,366
Great food, very romantic,
steamy atmosphere, you know.
161
00:06:37,401 --> 00:06:39,629
Yeah, I had the time of my life,
162
00:06:39,653 --> 00:06:42,705
and then Vera tracked me down.
163
00:06:42,740 --> 00:06:45,474
Well, if I get any time
off from training camp,
164
00:06:45,509 --> 00:06:48,077
I thought maybe Carla
might like to see Waikiki.
165
00:06:48,112 --> 00:06:51,130
Waikiki... Honolulu, Hawaii?
166
00:06:51,165 --> 00:06:52,615
Sure, we'll hit them all.
167
00:06:52,650 --> 00:06:55,384
Yeah, right!
168
00:06:55,419 --> 00:06:57,181
I only hope I can
get some time off
169
00:06:57,205 --> 00:06:58,370
from the Howitzer.
170
00:06:59,490 --> 00:07:02,190
Sorry. Miss Howitzer.
171
00:07:03,377 --> 00:07:04,526
Time off?
172
00:07:04,562 --> 00:07:06,423
Well, you'll be having
all the time in the world.
173
00:07:06,447 --> 00:07:08,025
You think I'd be
having a wife of mine
174
00:07:08,049 --> 00:07:10,327
work in a crummy bar like this?
175
00:07:10,351 --> 00:07:12,802
No offense, Miss Howitzer.
176
00:07:12,837 --> 00:07:14,804
It's Miss Howe.
177
00:07:14,839 --> 00:07:15,971
Oh, take it easy.
178
00:07:16,006 --> 00:07:18,307
They're just complimenting
your big guns.
179
00:07:19,894 --> 00:07:20,843
Wait a minute.
180
00:07:20,878 --> 00:07:22,277
Y-You're telling me
181
00:07:22,312 --> 00:07:25,280
that I don't have
to work anymore?
182
00:07:25,315 --> 00:07:28,617
You mean, I can just sit
around the house all day,
183
00:07:28,652 --> 00:07:30,486
eating peanut
butter out of a jar,
184
00:07:30,521 --> 00:07:33,505
and watching my toenails grow?
185
00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:35,591
She's, uh, quite a catch, Ed.
186
00:07:40,247 --> 00:07:42,375
Boy, you know, I'm gonna
miss you around here.
187
00:07:42,399 --> 00:07:45,851
Oh, Sammy, I'll drop
by once in a while
188
00:07:45,886 --> 00:07:47,436
to watch all you 9-to-5'ers
189
00:07:47,472 --> 00:07:49,538
spill drinks on
your butler suits.
190
00:07:50,808 --> 00:07:52,008
So, when's the big day, Carla?
191
00:07:52,042 --> 00:07:54,243
Well, I'd like to do it
as soon as possible
192
00:07:54,278 --> 00:07:56,245
before my little hunk
of back bacon here
193
00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:57,379
changes his mind.
194
00:07:57,414 --> 00:07:59,092
Ah, no way, I'm not
one of those flakes
195
00:07:59,116 --> 00:08:00,193
you used to go out with.
196
00:08:00,217 --> 00:08:01,761
Oh, but listen, we
have to get married
197
00:08:01,785 --> 00:08:02,829
on a day with a two in it
198
00:08:02,853 --> 00:08:04,297
'cause two's my lucky number.
199
00:08:04,321 --> 00:08:06,321
Rats. Mine's three.
200
00:08:06,357 --> 00:08:07,534
Oh, no sweat.
201
00:08:07,558 --> 00:08:09,191
Lucky two, lucky three...
202
00:08:09,226 --> 00:08:11,786
We can get married
on the 23rd or the 32nd.
203
00:08:13,864 --> 00:08:14,930
That's right, honey.
204
00:08:14,965 --> 00:08:15,931
Oh, right, right.
205
00:08:15,966 --> 00:08:17,076
No, um...
206
00:08:17,100 --> 00:08:18,612
As long as it's not
on a Wednesday.
207
00:08:18,636 --> 00:08:19,935
Ooh, yeah, bad juju.
208
00:08:19,970 --> 00:08:21,537
Yeah.
209
00:08:21,572 --> 00:08:23,349
This is going to be an
interesting wedding...
210
00:08:23,373 --> 00:08:25,469
The two most superstitious
people in the world.
211
00:08:25,493 --> 00:08:29,328
Hey, hey, don't say
that, it's bad luck.
212
00:08:29,363 --> 00:08:32,198
Listen, whatever you do,
don't make any plans afterwards
213
00:08:32,233 --> 00:08:35,100
'cause we're going to throw
you the biggest wedding reception
214
00:08:35,135 --> 00:08:36,185
in history right here...
215
00:08:36,220 --> 00:08:37,497
Oh, great!
216
00:08:39,123 --> 00:08:41,307
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
217
00:08:41,342 --> 00:08:42,408
Force of habit.
218
00:08:42,443 --> 00:08:44,476
Not my place to
do that. I'm sorry.
219
00:08:44,512 --> 00:08:48,597
Ms. Howe's going to throw you
the biggest wedding reception...
220
00:08:50,300 --> 00:08:53,501
I need to talk to you right now.
221
00:08:53,537 --> 00:08:55,137
Uh, wait...
222
00:08:55,172 --> 00:08:57,305
before you say
anything, let me just, uh...
223
00:08:57,341 --> 00:08:58,506
I had an idea.
224
00:08:58,542 --> 00:09:00,308
Why don't you invite your boss,
225
00:09:00,344 --> 00:09:02,077
what's-his-name, Evan Drake.
226
00:09:02,113 --> 00:09:03,746
You know, he's a
sports fan, so I hear.
227
00:09:03,781 --> 00:09:06,014
Maybe he'd enjoy
meeting Eddie LeBec there.
228
00:09:06,050 --> 00:09:07,983
You know, you could
throw him a big bash,
229
00:09:08,018 --> 00:09:10,352
impress the pants off him.
230
00:09:10,387 --> 00:09:12,087
What were you going to say?
231
00:09:12,123 --> 00:09:15,023
I was going to tell
you to smile more.
232
00:09:15,058 --> 00:09:16,091
Mm-hmm.
233
00:09:16,126 --> 00:09:18,993
I didn't say smugly.
234
00:09:19,029 --> 00:09:21,069
Excuse me, I have
a phone call to make.
235
00:09:22,349 --> 00:09:23,532
Hey there, Eduardo,
236
00:09:23,567 --> 00:09:25,862
looks like you and Carla
aren't the only lovebirds in town.
237
00:09:25,886 --> 00:09:28,053
Check out DeeDee
and David there.
238
00:09:28,089 --> 00:09:29,355
Who?
239
00:09:29,390 --> 00:09:30,889
DeeDee and David Lefsowski,
240
00:09:30,924 --> 00:09:34,659
the Weekly Gabbers'
odd couple of the month.
241
00:09:34,695 --> 00:09:37,997
See, she weighs in
there at 480 pounds,
242
00:09:38,032 --> 00:09:43,869
and he tips the scales
at a mere, uh, 92.
243
00:09:43,904 --> 00:09:46,738
But I mean, just look
at the love in his eyes.
244
00:09:46,773 --> 00:09:48,457
I think that's fear, Cliff.
245
00:09:50,611 --> 00:09:52,077
Cute baby he's holding.
246
00:09:52,112 --> 00:09:54,196
That's her arm, Woody.
247
00:09:54,231 --> 00:09:56,515
Cute arm he's holding.
248
00:09:58,401 --> 00:10:00,185
Hey. Picked a date yet?
249
00:10:00,221 --> 00:10:01,221
Yep.
250
00:10:01,255 --> 00:10:03,033
Eddie wants to do it
a week from Saturday,
251
00:10:03,057 --> 00:10:04,890
anytime before 4:00 p.m.
252
00:10:04,925 --> 00:10:06,970
which is okay with my psychic,
253
00:10:06,994 --> 00:10:10,095
as long as our auras
remain in the blue spectrum,
254
00:10:10,131 --> 00:10:12,042
and there's no solar eclipse.
255
00:10:12,066 --> 00:10:14,966
It's really tough planning
a wedding, isn't it?
256
00:10:15,002 --> 00:10:16,735
Ooh, tell me about it.
257
00:10:16,770 --> 00:10:18,848
You know, I'm
just a little nervous
258
00:10:18,872 --> 00:10:20,906
about waiting eight days.
259
00:10:20,941 --> 00:10:22,619
Gives Eddie an awful long time
260
00:10:22,643 --> 00:10:23,687
to come to his senses.
261
00:10:23,711 --> 00:10:25,393
Look at him.
262
00:10:25,428 --> 00:10:27,868
He's absorbed in
thought over there.
263
00:10:32,787 --> 00:10:34,920
Well, maybe not.
264
00:10:38,492 --> 00:10:40,459
There.
265
00:10:40,494 --> 00:10:41,727
The table looks nice.
266
00:10:41,762 --> 00:10:43,696
Woody, don't you think
the table looks nice?
267
00:10:43,731 --> 00:10:44,763
I think it looks nice.
268
00:10:44,799 --> 00:10:45,747
Looks nice.
269
00:10:45,783 --> 00:10:46,783
You think so?
270
00:10:47,968 --> 00:10:49,935
Oh, damn, I bet chucklebrain
271
00:10:49,970 --> 00:10:51,603
forgot to pick up the napkins.
272
00:10:51,638 --> 00:10:54,339
Oh, no, Sam didn't forget.
273
00:10:54,375 --> 00:10:57,543
Eddie brought these special
wedding ones they had made up.
274
00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:00,946
"We don't want to get married.
275
00:11:00,981 --> 00:11:05,084
We have to. Ha, ha."
276
00:11:05,119 --> 00:11:07,119
Cute.
277
00:11:07,154 --> 00:11:08,598
You see the little hillbilly
278
00:11:08,622 --> 00:11:10,722
with the shotgun?
279
00:11:10,757 --> 00:11:13,358
Yes, he's nice, isn't he?
280
00:11:13,394 --> 00:11:15,527
But I think these are
just a little too funny
281
00:11:15,563 --> 00:11:16,962
for the reception.
282
00:11:16,997 --> 00:11:17,997
Burn them.
283
00:11:19,533 --> 00:11:22,467
Did you remember to get
the cinnamon almond decaf?
284
00:11:22,503 --> 00:11:23,868
Yeah, I did.
285
00:11:23,904 --> 00:11:25,604
Who likes that?
286
00:11:25,639 --> 00:11:26,605
Evan does.
287
00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:28,557
Everyone does.
288
00:11:28,592 --> 00:11:31,026
Excuse me, Miss Howe,
289
00:11:31,062 --> 00:11:34,196
I know it's none of
my beeswax, but...
290
00:11:34,231 --> 00:11:36,671
it seems to me like
you're awfully nervous
291
00:11:36,701 --> 00:11:39,634
about Mr. Drake coming by today.
292
00:11:39,670 --> 00:11:42,938
Do you like him or something?
293
00:11:42,973 --> 00:11:44,807
In a business sense, yes.
294
00:11:44,842 --> 00:11:47,943
I admire his skills
and accomplishments.
295
00:11:47,978 --> 00:11:49,745
You like him.
296
00:11:53,117 --> 00:11:54,817
Boys...
297
00:11:54,852 --> 00:11:56,462
we're all set up with
my buddy Bruce.
298
00:11:56,486 --> 00:11:58,598
He can get us the same
silverware Carla picked out
299
00:11:58,622 --> 00:12:00,633
from the Filene's catalog
for over two-thirds off.
300
00:12:00,657 --> 00:12:02,024
Oh, yeah.
301
00:12:02,059 --> 00:12:03,759
So what's the bite-ski?
302
00:12:03,794 --> 00:12:04,760
20 bucks apiece.
303
00:12:04,795 --> 00:12:05,872
I'll catch you guys later.
304
00:12:05,896 --> 00:12:07,507
Say, Norm, there
isn't any chance
305
00:12:07,531 --> 00:12:09,781
that this stuff is stolen
merchandise, is there?
306
00:12:09,816 --> 00:12:11,016
No, of course not.
307
00:12:11,051 --> 00:12:12,651
Listen, if anyone asks,
308
00:12:12,686 --> 00:12:14,797
we never heard of Bruce,
we can't find the receipt,
309
00:12:14,821 --> 00:12:16,566
and if you run into
me up on the street,
310
00:12:16,590 --> 00:12:18,890
call me Larry.
311
00:12:20,528 --> 00:12:22,895
My mind's at ease.
312
00:12:22,930 --> 00:12:24,975
So, Sam, what are
you concocting there?
313
00:12:24,999 --> 00:12:27,799
You know how superstitious
Carla and Eddie are.
314
00:12:27,835 --> 00:12:29,701
I thought I'd mix
them up a batch
315
00:12:29,737 --> 00:12:31,436
of my good-luck wedding punch.
316
00:12:31,471 --> 00:12:32,771
It never fails.
317
00:12:32,806 --> 00:12:34,283
Isn't that the same
stuff you made
318
00:12:34,307 --> 00:12:35,619
when you were getting married
319
00:12:35,643 --> 00:12:37,643
to Miss Chambers?
320
00:12:39,079 --> 00:12:41,479
Woody, you want to
flush this down the toilet.
321
00:12:43,050 --> 00:12:44,032
Hi, guys.
322
00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:45,762
Hey. Hey.
323
00:12:45,786 --> 00:12:48,887
Carla, what are you doing
here on your wedding day?
324
00:12:48,922 --> 00:12:52,057
Oh, oh, actually I came
by to get my last paycheck.
325
00:12:52,092 --> 00:12:53,603
See, the bridal
shop has this policy
326
00:12:53,627 --> 00:12:54,804
about their wedding gowns...
327
00:12:54,828 --> 00:12:56,839
"Fork over the jack,
or it stays on the rack."
328
00:12:56,863 --> 00:12:57,908
So where is it?
329
00:12:57,932 --> 00:13:00,798
Oh, I'm so sorry
330
00:13:00,834 --> 00:13:04,202
that I don't have it ready
for you right this very second.
331
00:13:04,237 --> 00:13:05,937
I guess I've just been busy
332
00:13:05,972 --> 00:13:07,505
putting up every
single decoration
333
00:13:07,541 --> 00:13:09,140
and ordering all
the hors d'oeuvres
334
00:13:09,176 --> 00:13:11,577
and getting a band together
at the very last minute
335
00:13:11,612 --> 00:13:14,913
so that your reception
could be just perfect for you.
336
00:13:14,949 --> 00:13:17,269
Could you step
on it? I'm in a hurry.
337
00:13:17,952 --> 00:13:20,052
Soda, bartender.
338
00:13:20,087 --> 00:13:22,186
Coming right up.
339
00:13:22,222 --> 00:13:25,040
So how's the bride
on her big day?
340
00:13:25,075 --> 00:13:26,541
Couldn't be better, Sammy.
341
00:13:26,576 --> 00:13:28,910
All celestial omens
are favorable.
342
00:13:28,945 --> 00:13:31,963
Seems that Eddie and I
picked the one day this century
343
00:13:31,998 --> 00:13:34,132
when all the planets
and constellations
344
00:13:34,168 --> 00:13:35,600
are in perfect alignment.
345
00:13:35,635 --> 00:13:38,303
So either we get
married by 4:00 today,
346
00:13:38,338 --> 00:13:40,505
or we wait until the year 2042.
347
00:13:41,841 --> 00:13:43,286
I don't know, call
me old-fashioned,
348
00:13:43,310 --> 00:13:44,954
but I still think you
ought to get married
349
00:13:44,978 --> 00:13:46,277
before your baby does.
350
00:13:47,965 --> 00:13:50,582
How'd you manage to
swing a church wedding?
351
00:13:50,617 --> 00:13:52,628
You know, being
divorced and all.
352
00:13:52,652 --> 00:13:54,086
Don't you remember?
353
00:13:54,121 --> 00:13:56,621
I had my marriage to
Nick annulled years ago.
354
00:13:56,657 --> 00:13:58,923
Oh, right, right, right,
right. Took forever.
355
00:13:58,959 --> 00:14:00,069
Mm-hmm.
356
00:14:00,093 --> 00:14:01,605
But things got speeded up
357
00:14:01,629 --> 00:14:03,749
when Nick tried to sell
the Bishop his watch.
358
00:14:05,599 --> 00:14:07,282
Oh, hey, isn't that Eddie LeBec
359
00:14:07,317 --> 00:14:09,279
sashaying down those
stairs, there, Doc?
360
00:14:09,303 --> 00:14:10,696
Sure looks like it.
But Carla's here.
361
00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:11,831
Isn't there some superstition
362
00:14:11,855 --> 00:14:13,972
about the groom seeing
the bride before the wedding?
363
00:14:19,546 --> 00:14:22,066
Nobody believes in that anymore.
364
00:14:34,052 --> 00:14:35,652
You saw me.
365
00:14:35,687 --> 00:14:36,285
I saw you.
366
00:14:36,321 --> 00:14:37,270
I saw you see me.
367
00:14:37,305 --> 00:14:38,382
I saw you see me see you.
368
00:14:38,406 --> 00:14:39,450
Oh... Shut up.
369
00:14:39,474 --> 00:14:41,474
You're making it worse.
370
00:14:41,509 --> 00:14:42,992
Oh, my God.
371
00:14:43,028 --> 00:14:45,311
We were so careful
about every single thing,
372
00:14:45,346 --> 00:14:46,696
and then we blew
373
00:14:46,731 --> 00:14:49,365
the single most important
superstition of all...
374
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:51,835
Seeing the bride on
the day of the wedding.
375
00:14:51,870 --> 00:14:53,214
What are you doing here?
376
00:14:53,238 --> 00:14:55,049
I was meeting my mother.
What are you doing here?
377
00:14:55,073 --> 00:14:57,540
I came by to get my check!
378
00:14:57,575 --> 00:14:59,175
That's it.
379
00:14:59,210 --> 00:15:00,159
We've blown it.
380
00:15:00,194 --> 00:15:01,338
We can't get married now.
381
00:15:01,362 --> 00:15:03,813
Call me in 2042.
382
00:15:03,848 --> 00:15:05,664
Yeah, okay. I'll see ya.
383
00:15:06,918 --> 00:15:08,618
You guys are kidding.
384
00:15:08,653 --> 00:15:09,886
Come on. Eddie.
385
00:15:09,921 --> 00:15:12,955
Wait a minute. What am I doing?
386
00:15:12,991 --> 00:15:14,656
Carla...
387
00:15:14,692 --> 00:15:16,909
Look, I don't want to
give up the best thing
388
00:15:16,944 --> 00:15:18,210
that ever happened to me.
389
00:15:18,246 --> 00:15:19,457
Oh, come off it, Eddie.
390
00:15:19,481 --> 00:15:21,914
You're just as
superstitious as I am.
391
00:15:21,949 --> 00:15:23,215
Well, not anymore.
392
00:15:23,251 --> 00:15:24,550
And I'm going to prove to you
393
00:15:24,586 --> 00:15:26,386
there's nothing to all
that mumbo jumbo.
394
00:15:26,421 --> 00:15:27,553
Woody, hand me a mirror.
395
00:15:27,589 --> 00:15:28,904
Huh?
396
00:15:28,940 --> 00:15:31,073
You know, the one Sam's
always looking at himself in.
397
00:15:31,943 --> 00:15:33,387
What are you going to do?
398
00:15:33,411 --> 00:15:34,710
I'm going to break it.
399
00:15:34,746 --> 00:15:36,690
The bad luck is
starting already.
400
00:15:36,714 --> 00:15:37,892
He's lost his mind.
401
00:15:39,617 --> 00:15:42,551
Hey, that's my mirror.
402
00:15:43,588 --> 00:15:44,937
You see? Nothing.
403
00:15:44,973 --> 00:15:48,274
The ground didn't open
up and swallow me.
404
00:15:48,309 --> 00:15:50,320
That's because they
want you out in the open
405
00:15:50,344 --> 00:15:52,784
where lightning can get you.
406
00:15:53,881 --> 00:15:55,414
Don't do that!
407
00:15:55,450 --> 00:15:56,565
Oh!
408
00:15:56,601 --> 00:15:59,251
Which shoulder do you throw
salt over to avoid bad luck?
409
00:15:59,287 --> 00:16:00,519
The left, the left.
410
00:16:00,555 --> 00:16:01,587
No! No, no!
411
00:16:01,622 --> 00:16:04,190
Forgive him, demons of Hell.
412
00:16:04,225 --> 00:16:06,275
He's a hockey player.
413
00:16:07,678 --> 00:16:09,190
Don't, don't answer
it. Don't, don't...
414
00:16:09,214 --> 00:16:10,179
Cheers.
415
00:16:10,215 --> 00:16:11,180
Thanks, Woody.
416
00:16:11,216 --> 00:16:12,496
Carla, it's for you.
417
00:16:14,152 --> 00:16:17,620
Go on. Go on, answer it.
418
00:16:17,656 --> 00:16:20,223
Would you take it.
419
00:16:20,258 --> 00:16:22,225
Come on.
420
00:16:24,829 --> 00:16:27,030
Hello.
421
00:16:27,065 --> 00:16:30,099
Oh, hi, Dr. Nadelson.
422
00:16:30,135 --> 00:16:32,802
How did my tests come out?
423
00:16:32,837 --> 00:16:34,837
You've got to be kidding.
424
00:16:34,872 --> 00:16:37,140
What? What is it?
425
00:16:37,175 --> 00:16:38,474
Twins.
426
00:16:40,478 --> 00:16:44,363
He spills the salt,
he breaks the mirror,
427
00:16:44,398 --> 00:16:46,810
and I'm the one having twins.
428
00:16:46,834 --> 00:16:50,135
I told you something
horrible was going to happen.
429
00:16:50,171 --> 00:16:51,171
What is so bad?
430
00:16:51,205 --> 00:16:53,305
Twins means we're twice blessed.
431
00:16:53,340 --> 00:16:54,490
Yeah, I had twins once.
432
00:16:54,525 --> 00:16:56,326
It was the happiest
day of my life.
433
00:16:57,329 --> 00:16:58,861
Lighten up.
434
00:16:58,896 --> 00:17:01,364
Lighten up.
435
00:17:01,399 --> 00:17:04,633
Carla... Carla, this is great.
436
00:17:04,669 --> 00:17:07,503
Eddie...
437
00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:11,018
You're really happy about this?
438
00:17:11,042 --> 00:17:13,643
I'm the happiest man on Earth.
439
00:17:13,678 --> 00:17:15,944
Listen, Carla, you
and me, we can...
440
00:17:15,980 --> 00:17:17,813
we can overcome any obstacles
441
00:17:17,848 --> 00:17:19,182
that are in our way.
442
00:17:20,801 --> 00:17:25,037
You're a great guy, Eddie.
443
00:17:25,072 --> 00:17:26,672
Dumb as a skate blade,
444
00:17:26,707 --> 00:17:28,824
but a great guy.
445
00:17:28,859 --> 00:17:30,926
Ma!
446
00:17:30,962 --> 00:17:32,495
Oh, my baby's home!
447
00:17:32,530 --> 00:17:35,531
You see? I knew
things would look up.
448
00:17:35,566 --> 00:17:36,810
What's wrong?
449
00:17:36,834 --> 00:17:37,800
Ma, nothing.
450
00:17:37,835 --> 00:17:38,868
Everything's aces.
451
00:17:38,903 --> 00:17:40,803
It's just that, hey,
when you called
452
00:17:40,838 --> 00:17:42,138
about getting remarried,
453
00:17:42,173 --> 00:17:43,806
I realized how much I love you.
454
00:17:43,841 --> 00:17:46,025
I just wanted to be
with you on this day.
455
00:17:46,060 --> 00:17:47,543
And?
456
00:17:47,578 --> 00:17:49,912
Uh, and Dad's TV
shop... It went under.
457
00:17:49,947 --> 00:17:52,314
We got evicted, and I
can't get unemployment
458
00:17:52,349 --> 00:17:54,650
'cause Daddy didn't
declare me an employee.
459
00:17:55,670 --> 00:17:57,303
Well, I'm just glad
460
00:17:57,338 --> 00:18:00,139
my little boy's here
for my wedding.
461
00:18:00,175 --> 00:18:02,675
What about his lovely wife?
462
00:18:02,710 --> 00:18:05,494
I'm just glad my little
boy's here for my wedding.
463
00:18:07,065 --> 00:18:09,481
Actually, Mother Tortelli,
464
00:18:09,517 --> 00:18:12,701
we didn't want to
return to Vegas.
465
00:18:12,737 --> 00:18:14,053
We don't think it's any place
466
00:18:14,088 --> 00:18:15,237
for children to grow up.
467
00:18:15,273 --> 00:18:17,406
You're having a kid?
468
00:18:17,442 --> 00:18:19,542
I'm talking about us.
469
00:18:21,529 --> 00:18:24,897
So, if we could find
someone here in Boston
470
00:18:24,932 --> 00:18:26,382
with an nice house
471
00:18:26,418 --> 00:18:28,266
and lots of extra room...
472
00:18:28,302 --> 00:18:31,253
Do you know anyone
like that, Mother Tortelli?
473
00:18:31,289 --> 00:18:32,454
No, no, no.
474
00:18:32,490 --> 00:18:34,523
You don't want to come live
475
00:18:34,558 --> 00:18:37,393
in my little, tiny,
overcrowded house.
476
00:18:37,428 --> 00:18:38,844
Ma, it's just temporary.
477
00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:41,400
Just till I get back on my feet.
478
00:18:42,150 --> 00:18:43,599
Hey, if it's a problem,
479
00:18:43,635 --> 00:18:45,746
we'll find someplace
else to stay.
480
00:18:45,770 --> 00:18:46,969
Yeah. I think I saw
481
00:18:47,004 --> 00:18:49,104
a nice cardboard
box in the alley.
482
00:18:49,140 --> 00:18:50,940
See, see? What did I tell ya?
483
00:18:50,975 --> 00:18:54,110
This is the bad luck I've
been warning you about.
484
00:18:54,145 --> 00:18:55,922
Carla, don't worry about it.
485
00:18:55,946 --> 00:18:57,240
I mean, the more the merrier.
486
00:18:57,264 --> 00:18:58,275
Look, I'm going to get
487
00:18:58,299 --> 00:18:59,743
a major salary bump this season,
488
00:18:59,767 --> 00:19:02,234
and then I'll buy us all the
biggest house in Boston.
489
00:19:02,269 --> 00:19:04,971
Wow. A new house?
490
00:19:05,006 --> 00:19:06,305
You bet.
491
00:19:06,340 --> 00:19:07,902
Now do you finally believe
492
00:19:07,926 --> 00:19:10,137
that nothing bad
is going to happen?
493
00:19:10,161 --> 00:19:11,593
No. I'll just have
more closet space
494
00:19:11,629 --> 00:19:12,961
when it does.
495
00:19:12,997 --> 00:19:16,499
Anthony, I'm Eddie LeBec.
496
00:19:16,534 --> 00:19:18,212
I guess I'm your new stepfather.
497
00:19:18,236 --> 00:19:20,381
I'm hoping one day
you'll call me "Dad."
498
00:19:20,405 --> 00:19:24,039
Hey, Nick Tortelli is my dad.
499
00:19:24,075 --> 00:19:26,024
You are not my father,
500
00:19:26,060 --> 00:19:27,359
and you never will be!
501
00:19:27,395 --> 00:19:28,026
Anthony!
502
00:19:28,062 --> 00:19:29,178
You only knocked up my ma
503
00:19:29,213 --> 00:19:30,479
so she'd have to marry you.
504
00:19:31,666 --> 00:19:34,833
Ma, I'm sorry. The
guy was asking for it.
505
00:19:36,804 --> 00:19:37,870
Come on, Annie, let's go.
506
00:19:37,905 --> 00:19:39,655
Forgive him.
507
00:19:39,691 --> 00:19:41,791
He has the hot
passion of his race,
508
00:19:41,826 --> 00:19:44,426
and I have the envy
of every woman I know.
509
00:19:49,384 --> 00:19:51,617
Well, this is it.
510
00:19:51,652 --> 00:19:52,762
This is the bad luck.
511
00:19:52,786 --> 00:19:54,198
I mean, what could be worse
512
00:19:54,222 --> 00:19:55,832
than my kid hating my husband?
513
00:19:55,856 --> 00:19:56,923
Look, it's okay.
514
00:19:56,958 --> 00:19:58,024
He's just a kid.
515
00:19:58,059 --> 00:19:59,904
Oh, you don't get it, Eddie.
516
00:19:59,928 --> 00:20:02,288
He's the nicest one I got.
517
00:20:03,231 --> 00:20:06,415
Look, Carla, he's just being
protective of his mother.
518
00:20:06,450 --> 00:20:08,350
God knows that I
think my maman's
519
00:20:08,385 --> 00:20:09,985
the greatest woman on Earth.
520
00:20:10,021 --> 00:20:13,055
And I can only hope that
our kids feel the same way.
521
00:20:13,090 --> 00:20:16,392
Are you from this planet?
522
00:20:19,346 --> 00:20:21,914
Carla, here's your
final paycheck.
523
00:20:21,950 --> 00:20:23,215
Thank...
524
00:20:23,250 --> 00:20:26,385
I might say that you have
been a unique employee,
525
00:20:26,420 --> 00:20:27,932
and it's going to
be very difficult
526
00:20:27,956 --> 00:20:29,132
to fill your uniform.
527
00:20:29,156 --> 00:20:30,255
Thanks.
528
00:20:30,291 --> 00:20:31,691
You don't happen to know
529
00:20:31,726 --> 00:20:34,894
any other short, pregnant
cocktail waitresses, do you?
530
00:20:39,617 --> 00:20:40,883
Yeah, can I help you?
531
00:20:40,918 --> 00:20:42,451
Eddie LeBec.
532
00:20:42,487 --> 00:20:44,169
Maman?!
533
00:20:44,204 --> 00:20:45,971
Tu es merveilleuse!
534
00:20:46,006 --> 00:20:50,909
Je ne peux plus attendre
pour que tu rencontre Carla.
535
00:20:50,944 --> 00:20:52,878
Là voilà, au bar.
536
00:20:56,117 --> 00:20:57,883
Carla...
537
00:20:57,918 --> 00:20:59,986
Carla. Carla.
538
00:21:00,021 --> 00:21:02,738
Non, Maman... Maman...
539
00:21:02,773 --> 00:21:06,225
Eddie, c'est qu'elle est belle.
540
00:21:06,260 --> 00:21:08,127
Non, non, Maman.
541
00:21:08,162 --> 00:21:09,594
C'est Carla.
542
00:21:13,117 --> 00:21:14,550
Carla!
543
00:21:14,586 --> 00:21:16,886
Non, non, Maman.
544
00:21:18,305 --> 00:21:19,622
No, no, no, no.
545
00:21:19,657 --> 00:21:22,091
Me Rebecca.
546
00:21:22,126 --> 00:21:24,760
Her Carla.
547
00:21:24,795 --> 00:21:27,179
Enjoy.
548
00:21:28,983 --> 00:21:30,299
Carla.
549
00:21:30,334 --> 00:21:31,978
I'm so happy to meet you.
550
00:21:32,002 --> 00:21:34,136
Non. Non.
551
00:21:34,171 --> 00:21:36,939
Je ne permettrai jamais mon fils
552
00:21:36,975 --> 00:21:38,324
à marier ce petit souris
553
00:21:38,359 --> 00:21:39,625
avec le grand ventre.
554
00:21:39,660 --> 00:21:42,445
Maman... Maman... Je
ne permettrai ce mariage...
555
00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:45,147
noon, avec le... Maman.
556
00:21:45,182 --> 00:21:47,149
O, mon Dieu!
557
00:21:47,184 --> 00:21:49,518
She says she has to catch a bus.
558
00:21:49,554 --> 00:21:51,120
Maman!
559
00:21:54,075 --> 00:21:57,043
I get the feeling she
wasn't nuts about me.
560
00:21:58,162 --> 00:21:59,262
What'd she say?
561
00:21:59,297 --> 00:22:00,908
What makes you think I'd know?
562
00:22:00,932 --> 00:22:03,248
'Cause all you pompous
windbags speak French.
563
00:22:05,285 --> 00:22:07,664
She said she'll never
allow this marriage.
564
00:22:07,688 --> 00:22:09,399
Especially to a pregnant hussy
565
00:22:09,423 --> 00:22:11,368
who's only trying
to trap her son.
566
00:22:11,392 --> 00:22:14,459
Then she said she'd rather
be dragged around town
567
00:22:14,495 --> 00:22:16,028
by her tongue...
568
00:22:16,063 --> 00:22:19,999
or else she called
you a small grapefruit.
569
00:22:21,452 --> 00:22:24,369
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie,
Eddie, wait a minute.
570
00:22:24,405 --> 00:22:26,238
Before you say anything,
571
00:22:26,273 --> 00:22:28,451
I know what your mother said.
572
00:22:28,475 --> 00:22:31,944
And it doesn't matter to me.
573
00:22:31,979 --> 00:22:35,414
You finally convinced me
that our love can conquer
574
00:22:35,449 --> 00:22:37,660
any bad luck that comes our way.
575
00:22:37,684 --> 00:22:39,001
I mean it.
576
00:22:39,036 --> 00:22:40,547
Anthony and Annie moving in,
577
00:22:40,571 --> 00:22:42,004
your ma hating me,
578
00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:44,184
Anthony hating you, twins...
579
00:22:44,208 --> 00:22:45,507
Every time one of these
580
00:22:45,543 --> 00:22:46,854
little piddling things came up,
581
00:22:46,878 --> 00:22:48,022
I kept thinking
582
00:22:48,046 --> 00:22:49,873
you were going to
say the wedding's off.
583
00:22:49,897 --> 00:22:50,996
The wedding's off.
584
00:22:51,031 --> 00:22:52,314
Yeah, that's what I kept
585
00:22:52,350 --> 00:22:53,494
expecting you to say.
586
00:22:53,518 --> 00:22:54,467
The wedding's off.
587
00:22:54,502 --> 00:22:55,779
Yeah, yeah, we're all clear
588
00:22:55,803 --> 00:22:57,164
on what I thought you'd say.
589
00:22:57,188 --> 00:22:58,971
The wedding's off.
590
00:23:01,976 --> 00:23:04,143
But you never said it.
40305
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