All language subtitles for Cheers - 807 - Death Takes A Holiday On Ice

(Carla)
cheers is filmed before
a live studio audience.

Oh, brother.

These phone bills
are sky high.

I've got to find a new
long-distance carrier.

Let me see, do i go
with one that charges by
the mile or the time of day?

Well, why don't you
just use the system
that we all use?

What is it, sprint? M.C.I.?

No, it's, uh,
cheers' phone.

Really, ma?
That's-- hey, hold on.

You know, it's 12:00 in tokyo.

Is that yesterday
or tomorrow, ma?
Cliff.

What? I left a quarter.

So, anyway, sorry.
Uh, somebody was talking
to me here.

¶ Sometimes you want to go

¶ where everybody
knows your name ¶

¶ and they're always
glad you came ¶

¶ you wanna be
where you can see ¶

¶ our troubles
are all the same ¶

¶ you wanna go
where everybody
knows your name ¶

whoa!

What is it, carly?
You look like
a large-mouth bass.

A very fetching
large-mouth bass.

Sammy's talking
to darryl mead

of the boston red sox.

I've been thigh-struck
over that guy for 5 years,

especially in '88
when he led the league

in tight-fitting pants.

Boy, to know you're
the best at something.
What an honor.

Go ahead, go after him.
Go meet him.

I would love
his autograph.
Yes.

Maybe i can get him
to sign my breast.

Well, that, uh, should
complete the lineup card then.

Shh.

Look, for whatever reason,
i'm really hitting the ball
a ton lately.

Ah, well,
you're not dragging
the bat barrel,

and you're waiting longer
on the breaking pitch.

Wow, if you say so.

Pleased to meet you.

Maybe i ought
to introduce you.

Uh, darryl, this is
carla lebec.
She's a very big fan.

Up you go.

There you are.

Um, maybe i should
go get you a beer, huh?

Yeah, why don't you
go to germany
to get one, sammy.

You seem to know a lot
about baseball, carla,

you remind me of
my first hitting coach.

Bet i look cuter
in black underwear.

Yeah, but he could probably
spit tobacco farther.

Don't count on it.

Listen, carla, you want
to call me later?

We can go out
and have some dinner.

Are you kidding?
I'm there.

Oh, wait a minute.
I can't go. Damn!

Why not?
You got to work?
No.

Gee, i--i don't want you
to think any less of me,

but i'm married.

Why should that stop you?

Jeez, you're a pig.

Now, i really wish
i could go out with you.

[Gasping]
just in case.

I don't know
when a paper cut
felt this good.

I'll see you, sam.

And, uh, thanks for
the tips, carla.

Hope i hit
a home run tonight.

I swear,
if i was single,

you'd have hit one already.

This is bad.

This is real--
i shouldn't have this.

I should not have this.

Rebecca.

(Rebecca)
uh-huh.

This paper is my ticket
to eternal damnation.

So would you do me a favor?

Put it in the safe
and never give it to me.

No matter what i say,
no matter how much i beg,

do not give me
this piece of paper.

Ok.
Oh, let me make sure
i gave you the right one.

I told you
never give me this!

I can't believe this.

I mean the guy with
the best buns
on the red sox

asked me to go out
with him,

and i had to say no.

Man, it's not fair.

I swear, i get all
the disadvantages of
being married,

and none of the perks.

W-- oh, wait,
there are perks?

She's just talking.
Yeah.

Eddie's on the road
with the ice show
for months at a time.

The money he sends back
is a joke.

Yes, i guess the ice show
craze in america
never really recovered

from the loss
of frick and frack.

He's never at home
to help out with the family.

And all that would be fine,

if i could just visit him
for a few bed sprints

once in a while.

I don't even get that.
Come on,
you're being too tough on him.

[Phone ringing]
no, i mean it, really.
He doesn't care

or pay attention.

Carla, it's for you.
It's some guy
from the ice show.

Case in point, sammy,
i know exactly
what that call is.

Tomorrow is graduation.

It's the most important
day in anne marie's life.

Or is it serafina?

Uh, one of the older kids.

Anyway,

eddie's probably
having someone call

with some lame,
stupid excuse

why he can't show up.

All right,
what's his excuse?

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Right. Well,
these things happen.

Can't go to graduation, huh?
No, he can't.

What's the excuse?
He's dead.

Huh. That old one.

What's the problem?

Eddie's dead.

It was a freak accident
with the ice show.

Happened real sudden.

They were cleaning the ice

with that big machine
after the penguin
salsa number.

One of the penguin's slipped,
fell in front of the machine.

Eddie dived

just in time,

pushed the guy out of the way,

and he never felt a thing.

Honey, i'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.
Yeah.

Oh, looks like
table 5 is ready to order.

You know, a lot of people
just remember

eddie as a big, fat,
wobbling penguin

on the ice show,

but i bet before that,
he was quite a goalie.

Oh, yes, sam, i remember
that night against
the maple leaves,

he stopped like
40, 50 shots on goal.

I mean, counting
the 10 that got past him,

that's one night's
work, isn't it?

But you gotta
give the man his due.

He was one hell
of a penguin, too.

You know, i wonder
how many of us
would give up our lives

to save a fellow
human being?

Time to close up.

Oh, we can do that, carla.
No, no, it's my night
to clean and wash.

Carla, let me just
drive you home.

Why? There's nothing
i could do.
I'm going to close up.

Phew.

You know along the lines
of what dr. Crane
was saying before,

how many of us,
when faced with the loss
of a loved one,

would stay and close up?
She is something.

Woody, i think
she's still in shock.

Maybe i should take
the initiative
and speak with her.

How many of us,
when faced with having
to talk with someone

who's lost a loved one,
would take the initiative--
woody!

Shut up.

There's my answer.

Carla, different people

deal with the loss
of a loved one
in different ways.

As such, your stoic behavior
is--is quite understandable,

but studies
in human behavior

tell us that
we need to grieve.

And until we do
allow ourselves that
emotional release,

we can never get back
on the course of life.

You see, some people
hold in their grief

for literally years
and years,

and all they accomplish
is to prolong
the grief and the agony,

casting a pall over

their own remaining
days on this earth.

Oh! Oh, mommy!

Mommy, why you?

Oh! Mommy.

[Sobbing]

¶[organ music playing]

so we, the friends
of e. Edward lebec,

silently, each in his own way,

bid him goodbye,

[man coughing]
secure in the belief

that he will live
in eternal peace.

I think this is
a nice service.

You've been to a lot
of them, huh, wood?

What do you mean, sam?

Oh, i just remember
the size of your family

and all the unfortunate things
that seem to happen to them.

No, no, no, sam,
you've got that wrong.

Very few of those people
were killed, just maimed.

I had an uncle
who lived to be 103.

He had both ears
till he was 101.

Carla.

Carla, it's good to cry.

It's cleansing.

Try.

(Priest)
at this point of the service,

i would like mrs. Lebec
to kindly step forward.

[Weeping]

i-i'm sorry. I--i meant
his wife to step forward.

[Both crying]

i meant his current wife.

[Both crying]

uh-oh.

Look, lady, i don't know
what you're trying to pull,

but i am not amused.

Yeah, if you're trying to get
a laugh at a funeral,

you're going to have
to be a lot funnier than that.

I am gloria lebec,

as in eddie lebec.

Who the hell are you?

I'm carla lebec,
eddie's poor
grieving widow.

I'm eddie's
poor grieving widow.

That's impossible.
See this?

Yeah? Well, see this?

Yeah? Well, see this?

Widows, please.

Now, perhaps we can deal
with this unfortunate
revelation later

and continue
with the memorial.

With all due respect,
father, to hell
with that noise.

Eddie's not going anywhere
till i get some answers.

Lady, you've got
a lot of nerve.
Me?

What about you?
I'm his wife!

I'm his wife!
I'm his wife!

I'm his wife!
I'm his wife!

Ladies, ladies,
let go of the head!
Let go of the head!

Now just,
both of you sit down,
right now,

and we'll settle this
after the service.

Father.
Thank you, son.

Now, as we reflect
on the life of this

bewildered young man...

eddie knew exactly
what he was doing.

2 years ago,
he came to my town
with the ice show.

And what town would that be,
desperate hag, iowa?

Kenosha, wisconsin.

That's where
the ice show rehearses.

All right,
so he had a fling.

It wasn't a fling.

Pengie and i fell in love.

Lady, what are you looking
to get out of this?

Money? Well, forget it.

What do you think they
paid a washed-up hockey goalie

who bounced around from
team to team
and league to league,

'cause he was never
any good in the first place?

These tributes
are really something,
aren't they?

I am not going to stand
for that kind of talk
about my husband.

I told you, he was my husband.
I had twins with eddie.

So what? So did i.

Yikes!

At least mine
don't give you warts
when you touch 'em.

[All exclaiming]

oh, all right, lady.

You're cruising.

Go for it!

[Both shrieking]

[both screaming]

[all clamoring]

[people chattering]

hey, woody,
how's that chin of yours?

Better.

I'm sorry i slugged you,
woody.

I thought you were one
of those ice people.

But i just can't get over
this eddie thing.

Yeah.

I mean, i can understand
going out with

2 babes at one time,
but to actually
be married to both,

that's sick.

Believe me, sam,

in my profession,
i've learned
that mankind is capable

of all manner
of deviant behavior.

Well, of course now that
i have a child to support,

i say keep it coming.

Hey, come on,
what are you doing here?

I had to get out
of the house, sam.

Walls closing in
on you, huh?

No. Too much broken glass
on the floor.

[Glass shattering]
sweetheart.

Oh, honey, come on.
Everything's going to be ok.

It's going to be fine.
It's not going
to be fine, sam,

it's never going
to be fine again.

Nothing in my life
makes sense anymore.

How could this happen?

How could he do this?

How could i not know?
What's wrong with me?

What was wrong with him?

How did he know which pants
were in which house?

How do i know
who he really loved?

I mean, it was different
with nick.

Nick was scum with ear hair.

But eddie, i mean,
eddie was good

and the fact that
somebody good loved me
made me feel good.

Now, if it turns out
that he wasn't good after all,
does that mean that

all this time
i've been a fool?

I bet he kept his jeans
at your house

and his dress slacks
at her place.

Carla, as one woman
to another,

you were not a fool.

Becks, before you start
giving me advice

about love and marriage

and losing the most
important thing in your life,

go out and sleep with a man,
why don't you?

Poor kid.

She's still mourning.

Sit down,
i wanna talk to you.
Sammy, i gotta find out,

i gotta find out
who he loved more.

What difference
does it make?

The--the important thing is
when--when he was with you,

he loved you.

How do i know that?

[Sighs]
well...

all right,
think--think of it--
at least,

you know, he--he wasn't just,
you know, fooling around

with another woman.
I mean, he was married to her.

Oh.

I wanna talk to you.
Yeah?

I wanna scratch you bald,

paint your butt blue,
and mail you to guam.

I'd like to see you try.

Yeah, i'd like to
see that too, actually.

It's ok.

I didn't come here
to make trouble.

I just came here

to settle up
a few things.

I was at a little disadvantage
at the funeral.

You had friends
and family around.

You had fistfuls of
my hair in your hands.

I do want to set
something straight
with you.

Eddie loved me.

He loved me more.
Prove it.

That's easy.

I was his true love
because
he married me first.

Now beat it.

[People cheering]

she's got a point, girl.

Yeah? Well,
you didn't satisfy him.

Why else would he
have married me?

Now there's
something, too.

[All chattering]

i'm telling you guys,
butt out.

Yeah, you got a point there,
carla, maybe we--

hey, guys.

I bet the only reason
he married you

was because
he knocked you up.

How do you know that?

Babe's intuition.

Yeah? Well, maybe that's
the same reason
he married you.

Yeah, but with me, it wasn't
a cheap thrill.

It was a very tender moment

in the back of
a datsun hatchback.

Toyota corolla, front seat.

All right, ladies, ladies,
let's stop right now, huh?

All this talk about
conceiving your children
in these cars,

it just makes me sick.

Doesn't anybody
buy american anymore?

Wait a minute.

I know how to settle
any doubts

about how eddie
felt about me.

Check this out.

Eddie's favorite photograph
in the whole world,
and he gave it to me.

Him with his nephews.

Don't they look happy?

These aren't his nephews.

These are my kids.

Of course they look happy.
This was taken on the day

they found out they weren't
gonna be tried as adults.

Wait a minute.

Eddie gave you a picture
of my kids?

Yeah, and here is
the eastern league

comeback goalie
of the year plaque.

The puck he stopped
in the overtime win

against the blackhawks.

The tooth he stopped it with.

What have you got?

Not much.

I've got a cassette
of o canada.

It was kind of our song,

us and 25 million
other hosers.

All right, all right,
you proved your point.
You win.

Why don't you just
get out of here, all right?

Can i help you?
Yeah.

My name is gordie brown.

I worked with eddie lebec
in the ice show.

[Exclaims]
this bar,

it's just like eddie
described it.

You knew eddie, huh?
Knew him?

He saved my life.
Yeah, i knew him.

You're the penguin
he pushed out of the way
from the zamboni?

Yeah. Wrenched the hell
out of my thumb, too.

He didn't have
to push me so hard.

What do you want?

Well, i tried to explain
this to you
at the funeral,

but someone had
their fist in my mouth.

Hey, it was her.

Man, you punch a couple
of guys out at a funeral,

everybody's on your case.

What do you
have to say?

Well, late one night
a couple of months ago,
eddie and i were drinking.

He told me he had
a secret, something
he felt really guilty about.

So he wrote this note,

and he told me if anything
ever happened to him,

that i should
deliver it to carla.

[People chattering]

sam, i--i can't look
at this.
Would you read it?

"Dear carla, i hope you
never have to read this,

"because if you do,
it means i'm dead.

"How are you, eh?

"I've done a terrible thing.

"I had to marry another woman,

"i didn't want to,
but i made her pregnant.

"Oh, i guess i did
2 terrible things.

"Anyway, i just want you
to know i'm sorry.

"You'll always be
the love of my life,

"even in death.

Stay loose. Love eddie."

Yeah.

My work is done here.

Wait a minute.

Did he have anything
for gloria?

Would you be that gloria?

Yeah.

No.

Well, congratulations,

mrs. Lebec.

I guess this is yours.

Thanks.

Sure thing.
I hope the kid
on the left

still doesn't have
that runny nose.

Nah. He only does
that for pictures.

Mine, too.

Hey, maybe
it's hereditary,

'cause eddie's nose
was always running.

Wasn't it, though?

Well, i better be going.

The kids and i have got
a 17-hour bus ride
ahead of us to kenosha.

What are you taking,
the polar route?

Hey, look it's been
a hell of a day.

Why don't you skip the bus
and spend the night
at my house?

That's nice of you, carla.

Well, you haven't
seen my house.

Thanks.

Well, actually you'd be
doing me a favor,

'cause i got to work
late tonight

and i could use
a babysitter.

Hey, cliff is leaving
right now.
He'll drive you home.

Yeah, i've just ordered a beer
there, carla. Sorry.

[Clears throat]
that hit the spot.

(Gloria)
know what?

You're a pretty nice lady.

I can see why eddie
knocked you up.

Ditto.

Did you know that "gloria"
comes from the latin
glorioski?

It's a, uh, expression
of surprise,

it was, uh, made popular
during the depression
by the, uh,

round-eyed waif
little orphan annie.

You know, it's no mistake
that she didn't have
any pupils in her eyes...

carla, that was such
a sweet thing you did.

Yeah, well, i couldn't let
her sit on a bus

on the day of
our husband's funeral.

No, no, i mean getting rid of
cliff a few hours early.

Carla, you know
it just dawned on me.

You don't have to work
late tonight.
Yeah, i know.

But now that i know
that eddie loved me best,

i just feel like i should be
alone for a while

and grieve for him
in my own way.

Pool room's empty, right?
Yeah.

[People chattering]

(carla)
¶ o canada

6-ball,
corner pocket.

¶ Our home
and native land ¶

[pool balls clacking]

[door closes]