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1
00:00:26,504 --> 00:00:27,636
Beautiful day.
2
00:00:27,679 --> 00:00:31,727
Clean, fresh,
everything seems right.
3
00:00:31,770 --> 00:00:33,903
Wish we didn't
have to work today.
4
00:00:39,996 --> 00:00:43,217
Don't see why somebody
doesn't fix those sprinklers.
5
00:00:43,260 --> 00:00:46,829
Ah, come on, Jon.
A few drops of water?
6
00:00:46,872 --> 00:00:48,222
Don't blow your top.
7
00:00:48,265 --> 00:00:50,267
I didn't blow my top!
It's..
8
00:01:07,763 --> 00:01:08,807
Ahem.
9
00:01:14,248 --> 00:01:15,771
Alright, I blew my top.
10
00:01:20,558 --> 00:01:22,560
I'm sorry, alright?
11
00:01:22,604 --> 00:01:23,909
It's usually you.
12
00:01:23,953 --> 00:01:26,129
Yeah, but not today, partner.
13
00:01:26,173 --> 00:01:28,958
Today I'm cool,
calm and friendly.
14
00:01:29,872 --> 00:01:31,569
Yeah
15
00:01:32,788 --> 00:01:35,095
Wanna bet?
16
00:01:35,138 --> 00:01:37,140
Okay.
17
00:01:37,184 --> 00:01:41,405
Whenever I lose my temper,
I'll pay you a buck.
18
00:01:41,449 --> 00:01:44,408
So you don't have to go
to your savings account
19
00:01:44,452 --> 00:01:45,757
better make it a quarter.
20
00:01:46,715 --> 00:01:48,499
Cool, calm and friendly?
21
00:03:36,825 --> 00:03:39,393
Morning, sir. Do you mind
stepping out of the car, please?
22
00:03:39,436 --> 00:03:41,003
Is that necessary?
23
00:03:41,046 --> 00:03:43,048
Please.
It's a proper request.
24
00:03:43,092 --> 00:03:45,877
I'm in a terrible hurry.
I'm late for an appointment.
25
00:03:45,921 --> 00:03:47,705
I understand, sir.
26
00:03:47,749 --> 00:03:50,012
The sooner you get out,
the sooner we get this over.
27
00:03:59,282 --> 00:04:00,370
Step to the curb, please.
28
00:04:00,414 --> 00:04:02,198
And if I refuse?
29
00:04:04,287 --> 00:04:05,506
It's for safety.
30
00:04:05,549 --> 00:04:06,724
I don't like being touched!
31
00:04:08,335 --> 00:04:10,728
What is this, Gestapo?
32
00:04:10,772 --> 00:04:13,557
My God! I've never been
treated like this in my life.
33
00:04:14,950 --> 00:04:16,212
You bullies!
34
00:04:20,303 --> 00:04:23,263
LA 15,7 Mary 3.
Roll a 11-48..
35
00:04:23,306 --> 00:04:26,266
This is an example
of American justice.
36
00:04:26,309 --> 00:04:28,355
American law enforcement, sir.
37
00:04:28,398 --> 00:04:30,270
Justice comes later
in the court.
38
00:04:30,313 --> 00:04:31,662
Transportation's on its way.
39
00:04:31,706 --> 00:04:34,752
I must warn both of you,
you'll regret this.
40
00:04:34,796 --> 00:04:36,972
You bullies with guns.
41
00:04:37,015 --> 00:04:38,800
You stormtroopers!
42
00:04:38,843 --> 00:04:40,497
Would you just
keep it quiet, sir?
43
00:04:40,541 --> 00:04:42,282
I'm a very important man.
44
00:04:42,325 --> 00:04:44,762
- I have diplomatic immunity!
45
00:04:44,806 --> 00:04:46,895
I said I have
diplomatic immunity.
46
00:04:49,854 --> 00:04:51,465
Why didn't you
mention that before?
47
00:04:51,508 --> 00:04:53,684
Because you treated me
with rudeness and disrespect!
48
00:05:11,615 --> 00:05:13,574
Hi, guys.
What's going on?
49
00:05:13,617 --> 00:05:16,185
Oh, excessive speed,
reckless driving and assault.
50
00:05:16,228 --> 00:05:18,535
And a sore chin.
You transportation?
51
00:05:18,579 --> 00:05:21,364
- Yep.
- I can't believe it.
52
00:05:21,408 --> 00:05:23,845
A woman stormtrooper.
In my country--
53
00:05:23,888 --> 00:05:25,847
Now, that'll be enough!
54
00:05:25,890 --> 00:05:28,458
Cahill, we may have
problems with this arrest
55
00:05:28,502 --> 00:05:31,069
but we'll leave it
up to Getraer.
56
00:05:31,113 --> 00:05:33,202
Want to take him
down to the office?
57
00:05:33,245 --> 00:05:35,030
I would not go
with a woman.
58
00:05:36,466 --> 00:05:38,773
He would not?
59
00:05:38,816 --> 00:05:41,819
Cahill, take his majesty
off the street.
60
00:05:44,605 --> 00:05:45,736
"Your Highness" will do.
61
00:08:21,936 --> 00:08:24,939
All of this is
a waste of time.
62
00:08:24,982 --> 00:08:26,418
One phone call.
63
00:08:26,462 --> 00:08:27,768
You can make it
from the office.
64
00:08:27,811 --> 00:08:29,770
Have you never heard
of diplomatic immunity?
65
00:08:29,813 --> 00:08:31,554
I cannot be charged.
66
00:08:31,598 --> 00:08:34,339
If you'll remove these chains,
I'll show you my papers.
67
00:08:34,383 --> 00:08:36,037
That'll have to wait
till the station, too.
68
00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:37,255
The time to have
shown your papers
69
00:08:37,299 --> 00:08:38,430
was when you were stopped.
70
00:08:42,043 --> 00:08:44,567
You're a very attractive lady.
71
00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:46,482
Yeah. Hot stuff.
72
00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,049
Why do you do what you do?
73
00:08:48,092 --> 00:08:49,354
You mean, my job?
74
00:08:49,398 --> 00:08:51,095
I mean that in my country
75
00:08:51,139 --> 00:08:54,316
a beautiful woman like you
would live in jewels and furs.
76
00:08:54,359 --> 00:08:56,231
She would live lavishly.
77
00:08:56,274 --> 00:08:59,364
Well, who do I have to know to
become a cop in your country?
78
00:09:01,279 --> 00:09:04,500
- Me.
- Okay.
79
00:09:18,209 --> 00:09:20,951
Ah, Poncherello, Baker
80
00:09:20,995 --> 00:09:24,041
this is Mr. Taylor
of the state department.
81
00:09:24,085 --> 00:09:26,609
And, uh, Miss Fay Ramad.
82
00:09:26,653 --> 00:09:28,132
She's the assistant
consul in this area
83
00:09:28,176 --> 00:09:30,091
for the Sheikdom of Bezel.
84
00:09:30,134 --> 00:09:32,223
- Nice to meet you.
85
00:09:32,267 --> 00:09:34,269
The department is
requesting that all charges
86
00:09:34,312 --> 00:09:36,837
against his highness
be dropped.
87
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,490
He carries
diplomatic immunity.
88
00:09:38,534 --> 00:09:39,927
Yeah and a good left.
89
00:09:39,970 --> 00:09:42,582
Sergeant, he struck
Officer Poncherello.
90
00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:45,454
I did not strike him.
I merely slapped him.
91
00:09:45,497 --> 00:09:47,021
Highness, please.
92
00:09:47,064 --> 00:09:49,197
Ah, I'll ask you to make out
your written reports
93
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:50,894
and hand them directly to me.
94
00:09:50,938 --> 00:09:53,157
Sergeant, may we speak
with you a moment in private?
95
00:09:53,201 --> 00:09:55,769
Uh, yeah.
If you'll excuse me, please.
96
00:10:06,997 --> 00:10:09,652
Look, guys, uh,
they've got us over a barrel
97
00:10:09,696 --> 00:10:10,958
and I don't like it
any more than you do.
98
00:10:11,001 --> 00:10:13,787
But, uh, his highness
has clout.
99
00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:16,703
I'd like to give him
a little bit more.
100
00:10:16,746 --> 00:10:19,357
The man is
Sheik Ali Akbarnia Bezel
101
00:10:19,401 --> 00:10:23,492
the first-born son, the favorite
son of the ruler of Bezel.
102
00:10:23,535 --> 00:10:26,495
Need I say oil
103
00:10:26,538 --> 00:10:28,062
If his old man
loves him so much
104
00:10:28,105 --> 00:10:29,411
why'd he let him
out of his sight?
105
00:10:30,673 --> 00:10:32,240
He's attending college here.
106
00:10:32,283 --> 00:10:35,156
Don't laugh, but he's
majoring in police science.
107
00:10:35,199 --> 00:10:37,593
Hmm, well,
he's a slow study.
108
00:10:39,421 --> 00:10:42,163
Next thing you know, you'll
ask us to apologize to him.
109
00:10:42,206 --> 00:10:44,426
Uh, it was mentioned
110
00:10:44,469 --> 00:10:48,560
but I suggested
it might not be wise.
111
00:10:48,604 --> 00:10:50,693
Look, you guys, uh,
why don't you just
112
00:10:50,737 --> 00:10:53,174
write this off
to experience, huh?
113
00:10:53,217 --> 00:10:56,177
Yeah. Well, you know, like
they say in the oil field
114
00:10:56,220 --> 00:10:57,569
"That's Shah business."
115
00:10:59,702 --> 00:11:01,269
Oh..
116
00:11:01,312 --> 00:11:04,141
I'd better wash that one
down with a cup of coffee.
117
00:11:07,405 --> 00:11:10,321
With your permission.
118
00:11:10,365 --> 00:11:13,194
Gentlemen, please don't say
that I approached you
119
00:11:13,237 --> 00:11:15,239
but I feel I owe
you an apology.
120
00:11:15,283 --> 00:11:16,763
Not you, ma'am.
121
00:11:16,806 --> 00:11:19,156
You don't have one thing
to apologize for.
122
00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:20,810
Please be assured
that my government
123
00:11:20,854 --> 00:11:23,683
will take steps to prevent
another such occurrence.
124
00:11:24,901 --> 00:11:26,816
And you're both very kind.
125
00:11:26,860 --> 00:11:28,383
Ma'am, it's been
a pleasure.
126
00:11:34,519 --> 00:11:36,347
Did I say that?
127
00:12:24,874 --> 00:12:25,919
It was a white
and blue pickup.
128
00:12:25,962 --> 00:12:28,008
The kegs fell off the back.
129
00:12:28,051 --> 00:12:29,792
Holy smokes,
look what happened.
130
00:12:29,836 --> 00:12:31,663
Kind of hard to miss.
131
00:12:31,707 --> 00:12:33,143
I'm going to see
about the truck.
132
00:12:37,931 --> 00:12:41,673
LA 15, 7 Mary 3, we're 10-97
at baseline and Adler.
133
00:12:41,717 --> 00:12:43,850
We have an 11-25,
nails in all lanes.
134
00:12:43,893 --> 00:12:48,506
11-85 and
an additional 11-84.
135
00:12:48,550 --> 00:12:51,596
Don't worry, folks. We'll get
things straightened out.
136
00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:53,598
You'd better
do something quick!
137
00:12:55,513 --> 00:12:57,864
She thinks she's gonna
have the baby right here.
138
00:12:57,907 --> 00:12:59,474
And who should know better?
139
00:12:59,517 --> 00:13:00,823
Okay, we better
call an ambulance.
140
00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:02,694
Look, don't put yourself out.
141
00:13:02,738 --> 00:13:04,522
Six times she thought
she knew better.
142
00:13:04,566 --> 00:13:07,830
Six trips to the hospital,
Six trips home.
143
00:13:07,874 --> 00:13:10,311
Well, we'd better
play it safe, huh?
144
00:13:13,401 --> 00:13:16,099
Now, there's a guy with class.
145
00:13:16,143 --> 00:13:17,579
How would you know?
146
00:13:17,622 --> 00:13:18,972
Yeah.
147
00:13:19,015 --> 00:13:20,625
After looking
at what I married
148
00:13:20,669 --> 00:13:21,931
maybe you've got a point.
149
00:13:27,676 --> 00:13:29,460
Careful, ma'am. Be careful
of the nails, now.
150
00:13:29,504 --> 00:13:30,897
Oh, that's the least
of my problems.
151
00:13:30,940 --> 00:13:33,073
Hey-hey, you see that
yellow car over there?
152
00:13:33,116 --> 00:13:34,335
'
'
153
00:13:34,378 --> 00:13:35,771
That's my husband's car.
154
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:38,426
You can't see him now,
but he's there, alright.
155
00:13:38,469 --> 00:13:40,297
With his
blonde receptionist.
156
00:13:40,341 --> 00:13:41,733
I've been following him.
157
00:13:41,777 --> 00:13:44,519
And I got him this time.
I got him cold. Come on.
158
00:13:44,562 --> 00:13:47,174
Wait a minute, ma'am.
I have 10 cars piled up here
159
00:13:47,217 --> 00:13:48,523
and this lady's about
ready to have a baby.
160
00:13:48,566 --> 00:13:50,873
Big deal.
161
00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:53,354
Listen, can't you catch him
cold some other time?
162
00:13:53,397 --> 00:13:55,443
Not on your life!
163
00:14:02,624 --> 00:14:04,844
You're going to wish
you were never born!
164
00:14:04,887 --> 00:14:07,629
Lois, honey!
I can explain, honey!
165
00:14:07,672 --> 00:14:10,501
I can ex--
No, no, no!
166
00:14:10,545 --> 00:14:12,895
You're going to wish
you were never born!
167
00:14:12,939 --> 00:14:14,810
Ma'am, come on.
This is not the place.
168
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,464
'Mind your own business.'
169
00:14:16,507 --> 00:14:18,596
'My business is
keeping the peace.'
170
00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:19,815
'Now, I'm gonna
have to charge you'
171
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,164
'with disturbing it.'
172
00:14:21,208 --> 00:14:23,688
- You wouldn't.
- I would.
173
00:14:23,732 --> 00:14:27,997
Why is there always a cop
around when you don't want one?
174
00:14:28,041 --> 00:14:29,259
You're going to get it.
175
00:14:29,303 --> 00:14:31,174
The both of you,
you're going to get it!
176
00:14:44,927 --> 00:14:46,450
'Watch the nails.'
177
00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:51,586
Easy. Easy.
178
00:15:10,997 --> 00:15:12,476
I'm telling you,
it's a false alarm.
179
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:14,391
She's not even due yet
for another week.
180
00:15:14,435 --> 00:15:16,263
- No, no, no.
181
00:15:16,306 --> 00:15:18,004
I'll stay here
with my car.
182
00:15:18,047 --> 00:15:20,702
Tell her I'll pick her up
later at the hospital, again.
183
00:15:20,745 --> 00:15:21,921
Okay?
184
00:15:32,061 --> 00:15:33,193
You catch the truck?
185
00:15:33,236 --> 00:15:34,672
Yeah.
The tailgate came open.
186
00:15:34,716 --> 00:15:36,022
He didn't even know it.
187
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:40,983
Come on.
188
00:15:55,302 --> 00:15:56,390
It's a boy.
189
00:16:00,698 --> 00:16:03,614
Excuse me, uh, you're the proud
father of a bouncing baby boy.
190
00:16:34,863 --> 00:16:36,996
Mr. Immunity rides again.
191
00:16:37,039 --> 00:16:38,040
Temper, temper.
192
00:17:23,433 --> 00:17:24,913
Your turn, Baker.
193
00:17:26,915 --> 00:17:28,221
Thanks.
194
00:17:36,011 --> 00:17:38,579
Afternoon, Your Highness.
195
00:17:38,622 --> 00:17:40,624
It seems we meet again.
196
00:17:40,668 --> 00:17:42,757
'Step from the car, please.'
197
00:17:50,156 --> 00:17:53,289
Of course. There's no need
for us to act like enemies.
198
00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:55,335
Could we step to the curb,
please, away from traffic?
199
00:17:58,207 --> 00:17:59,817
Would you like
to see my papers?
200
00:17:59,861 --> 00:18:02,733
No. Simply your driver's license
and registration, please.
201
00:18:02,777 --> 00:18:03,908
Well, you are
aware, of course
202
00:18:03,952 --> 00:18:05,693
that under diplomatic immunity
203
00:18:05,736 --> 00:18:09,566
I'm not required to carry a
driver's license of any kind.
204
00:18:09,610 --> 00:18:11,307
Well, that's not
exactly correct.
205
00:18:11,351 --> 00:18:13,962
In any case, every vehicle
has to have a registration.
206
00:18:15,355 --> 00:18:16,791
That I can show you.
207
00:18:35,505 --> 00:18:36,941
Forgive me, Your Highness
208
00:18:36,985 --> 00:18:39,379
but this registration
expired a year ago.
209
00:18:39,422 --> 00:18:42,991
Ah, the stupidity of
some of our clerks.
210
00:18:43,034 --> 00:18:45,559
Well, I'll see that it's
taken care of immediately.
211
00:18:45,602 --> 00:18:47,126
We better call a tow truck.
212
00:18:47,169 --> 00:18:48,910
I'm no more than
50 minutes from home
213
00:18:48,953 --> 00:18:50,520
and there is my immunity.
214
00:18:50,564 --> 00:18:52,957
Yes, sir, you are immune,
but your vehicle is not.
215
00:18:53,001 --> 00:18:54,611
We're gonna have to
impound it 98-01
216
00:18:54,655 --> 00:18:56,700
until proper registration
can be shown.
217
00:18:56,744 --> 00:18:58,833
Fees and penalties paid.
218
00:18:58,876 --> 00:19:01,401
May I have the keys, please?
219
00:19:01,444 --> 00:19:03,838
But this is..
No, no. This is not--
220
00:19:03,881 --> 00:19:06,928
My partner asked you
for the key, please.
221
00:19:06,971 --> 00:19:09,191
You are aware that this is
police
222
00:19:09,235 --> 00:19:12,325
California state law,
sir, please.
223
00:19:15,328 --> 00:19:16,459
Bah!
224
00:19:17,678 --> 00:19:19,114
Thank you, Your Highness.
225
00:19:23,074 --> 00:19:25,120
Look, uh, would you
like us to call a car
226
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:26,469
to get you
to your destination?
227
00:19:26,513 --> 00:19:28,123
There is no need,
thank you.
228
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,994
I will have
the consulate send a car.
229
00:19:30,038 --> 00:19:32,823
LA 15, 7 Mary 4.
Roll an 11-85
230
00:19:32,867 --> 00:19:37,045
to the 2400 block
on the baseline.
231
00:19:37,088 --> 00:19:40,222
We have an impound
for fees and penalties.
232
00:19:40,266 --> 00:19:41,571
'10-4, 7 Mary 4.'
233
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,811
Come on, face it, Jon.
234
00:20:03,854 --> 00:20:05,813
You thought you'd be a buck
or two richer by now.
235
00:20:05,856 --> 00:20:08,381
But I have controlled
my temper all day.
236
00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:11,253
I have been calm
and pleasant, right?
237
00:20:11,297 --> 00:20:12,994
Yeah.
Well, I 'll tell you something.
238
00:20:13,037 --> 00:20:16,650
It's disgusting how low a guy
will stoop to win a two-bit bet.
239
00:20:16,693 --> 00:20:20,219
Yeah? Well, what do you say
we extend the time on it, hmm?
240
00:20:20,262 --> 00:20:22,221
It's fine with me.
As long as you want.
241
00:20:24,135 --> 00:20:26,225
Hey, get this.
242
00:20:26,268 --> 00:20:28,096
"Consulate of Bezel."
243
00:20:28,139 --> 00:20:29,924
"Your presence is
cordially requested
244
00:20:29,967 --> 00:20:32,231
"for an informal afternoon
aboard the Lady Theresa
245
00:20:32,274 --> 00:20:34,668
"Saturday the 15th at 2 p.m.
246
00:20:34,711 --> 00:20:37,279
Casual and bathing attire
will be worn."
247
00:20:37,323 --> 00:20:39,716
- Hmm.
248
00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:41,283
Wonder why the
Sheik invited us.
249
00:20:41,327 --> 00:20:45,374
Man, that's no invitation.
That's a summons.
250
00:20:45,418 --> 00:20:47,289
We've had it with him
on the streets
251
00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:49,726
and he thinks when
he says "Frog", we jump?
252
00:20:49,770 --> 00:20:53,469
No way, pal.
I'd rather go to the dentist.
253
00:20:53,513 --> 00:20:55,515
Ponch, you got a phone call.
254
00:20:55,558 --> 00:20:56,777
Alright.
255
00:21:11,139 --> 00:21:14,490
Poncherello.
I have a call.
256
00:21:14,534 --> 00:21:16,013
Yeah, Poncherello here.
257
00:21:16,057 --> 00:21:18,102
This is Fay Ramad
from the consulate office.
258
00:21:18,146 --> 00:21:20,540
Do you remember me,
Mr. Poncherello?
259
00:21:20,583 --> 00:21:22,411
Oh, yes, ma'am.
Can I help you?
260
00:21:22,455 --> 00:21:25,371
Yes. I was wondering if you'd
received the invitations
261
00:21:25,414 --> 00:21:27,808
I sent to Mr. Baker and you.
262
00:21:27,851 --> 00:21:29,200
Yousent them?
263
00:21:29,244 --> 00:21:32,508
One of the more pleasant
aspects of my job.
264
00:21:32,552 --> 00:21:34,728
May we count on you to attend?
265
00:21:34,771 --> 00:21:36,904
Oh, I'll have to talk to
my partner about it.
266
00:21:36,947 --> 00:21:39,341
I don't think we got
anything planned that day.
267
00:21:39,385 --> 00:21:43,127
I hope not.
I'd enjoy seeing you again.
268
00:21:43,171 --> 00:21:46,827
I'll try to work it out and
uh, thanks for calling.
269
00:21:46,870 --> 00:21:48,611
Bye.
270
00:22:00,536 --> 00:22:02,321
Oh..
271
00:22:02,364 --> 00:22:04,584
Don't just stand there, man.
Get me the scotch tape!
272
00:24:10,971 --> 00:24:11,928
Thank you.
273
00:24:18,413 --> 00:24:19,458
Ahem. It's cold.
274
00:24:57,757 --> 00:24:59,889
Gentlemen.
275
00:24:59,933 --> 00:25:01,151
What is it?
276
00:25:01,195 --> 00:25:03,066
- Caviar.
- Caviar.
277
00:25:03,110 --> 00:25:05,112
I know caviar.
I meant, what brand?
278
00:25:05,155 --> 00:25:06,809
The chef imports it, sir.
279
00:25:06,853 --> 00:25:08,724
It's very expensive.
280
00:25:08,768 --> 00:25:12,075
Not really, sir.
Only $200 a pound.
281
00:25:17,777 --> 00:25:20,606
What's the matter?
Don't you like it?
282
00:25:20,649 --> 00:25:21,868
I don't know.
283
00:25:21,911 --> 00:25:23,696
I don't think I can eat..
284
00:25:23,739 --> 00:25:26,437
...anything that costs
"$200 a pound."
285
00:25:30,746 --> 00:25:33,401
I watched you on the jet skis.
You were wonderful.
286
00:25:33,444 --> 00:25:34,837
You having a good time?
287
00:25:34,881 --> 00:25:37,187
Yes.
It's very, um...
288
00:25:37,231 --> 00:25:38,275
Elegant.
289
00:25:38,319 --> 00:25:39,755
Right.
290
00:25:39,799 --> 00:25:41,540
Champagne, gentlemen?
291
00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:44,586
Would you like something else?
292
00:25:44,630 --> 00:25:46,849
To be honest with you,
a cold beer.
293
00:25:46,893 --> 00:25:49,548
Come.
We have a nice selection.
294
00:25:55,858 --> 00:25:57,817
C'est vraiment froid.
295
00:25:57,860 --> 00:25:59,775
Woo!
296
00:25:59,819 --> 00:26:01,255
Merci.
297
00:26:01,298 --> 00:26:02,430
Woo!
298
00:26:02,473 --> 00:26:03,518
J'aime bien moi.
299
00:26:41,425 --> 00:26:43,297
Michelle, Suzanne.
300
00:27:02,446 --> 00:27:03,839
Il est tres simple.
301
00:27:03,883 --> 00:27:07,451
C'est difficile ca,
pas simple.
302
00:27:07,495 --> 00:27:08,583
Ah, oui?
303
00:27:08,627 --> 00:27:10,585
Well, hello.
304
00:27:10,629 --> 00:27:12,935
I pray you're all
having a pleasant time.
305
00:27:12,979 --> 00:27:14,154
Formidable.
306
00:27:14,197 --> 00:27:16,591
Good. Um..
307
00:27:16,635 --> 00:27:18,724
Would you two mind
seeing me in private?
308
00:27:20,856 --> 00:27:22,858
It's your party.
309
00:27:22,902 --> 00:27:24,425
Well, then, this way.
310
00:27:30,300 --> 00:27:32,172
Eh...excusez-moi.
311
00:27:32,215 --> 00:27:34,565
Attendez-vous ici,
s'il vous plait.
312
00:27:38,439 --> 00:27:39,962
He's cute.
313
00:27:40,006 --> 00:27:41,877
Pas mal.
314
00:27:41,921 --> 00:27:43,705
Come in.
315
00:27:43,749 --> 00:27:47,840
I invited you here today
so we could..
316
00:27:47,883 --> 00:27:50,016
...settle matters
between us.
317
00:27:50,059 --> 00:27:53,106
My objective is
a simple understanding.
318
00:27:58,894 --> 00:28:01,244
I hope that you equally
enjoy the situation.
319
00:28:06,989 --> 00:28:09,818
You realize you're
offering us a bribe?
320
00:28:09,862 --> 00:28:11,690
Uh, no.
321
00:28:11,733 --> 00:28:13,256
This is semantics, Poncherello.
322
00:28:13,300 --> 00:28:15,345
Semantics.
Poncherello, yes?
323
00:28:17,783 --> 00:28:20,786
You see,
in my country, um...
324
00:28:20,829 --> 00:28:23,702
this is custom, please.
325
00:28:23,745 --> 00:28:27,183
We have customs, too.
And we have laws.
326
00:28:27,227 --> 00:28:29,664
I'm above your laws.
327
00:28:29,708 --> 00:28:31,361
Come on.
328
00:28:31,405 --> 00:28:34,016
Someday you're gonna kill
somebody the way you drive
329
00:28:34,060 --> 00:28:36,932
but you cannot buy permission
to do it on our beat.
330
00:28:36,976 --> 00:28:40,327
Not for all the oil
in the Middle East.
331
00:28:40,370 --> 00:28:42,198
Baker, I owe you
another quarter.
332
00:28:57,866 --> 00:29:00,173
Excuse me, uh, Fay
333
00:29:00,216 --> 00:29:02,915
we'd just like to say
thank you and good-bye.
334
00:29:02,958 --> 00:29:05,569
Oh, is anything wrong?
335
00:29:05,613 --> 00:29:07,528
Yeah, I need a hamburger..
336
00:29:07,571 --> 00:29:10,618
...at 98 cents a pound.
337
00:29:10,661 --> 00:29:13,447
- Good-bye.
- Bye.
338
00:29:13,490 --> 00:29:14,665
Ponch.
339
00:31:55,522 --> 00:31:57,872
You know, I never
asked you why, uh
340
00:31:57,916 --> 00:31:59,569
Barney's studying
police science
341
00:31:59,613 --> 00:32:02,355
when he can't even
obey the law.
342
00:32:02,398 --> 00:32:04,357
Well, his father
hopes he'll learn
343
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:07,316
and come home and take charge
of the Sheikdom's police.
344
00:32:09,928 --> 00:32:11,973
Is this where you live?
345
00:32:12,017 --> 00:32:14,497
Oh, yeah.
Um..
346
00:32:14,541 --> 00:32:17,283
Listen, how come the Sheik
put you in charge of his son?
347
00:32:17,326 --> 00:32:19,981
I thought women in
your country were, uh..
348
00:32:20,025 --> 00:32:21,678
Unemancipated.
349
00:32:21,722 --> 00:32:22,984
Yeah.
350
00:32:23,028 --> 00:32:25,813
We are and that's the point.
351
00:32:25,856 --> 00:32:29,948
You see, Barney won't
take orders from any man.
352
00:32:29,991 --> 00:32:33,125
But I'm his cousin.
I represent no threat to him.
353
00:32:33,168 --> 00:32:37,042
So he'll take...
persuasion from me.
354
00:32:39,870 --> 00:32:42,438
Ponch, aren't we going in?
355
00:32:42,482 --> 00:32:46,312
Yeah, okay, Fay, but don't
expect too much, alright?
356
00:32:46,355 --> 00:32:47,574
And..
357
00:32:47,617 --> 00:32:49,663
In fact, don't expect anything.
358
00:32:54,102 --> 00:32:55,886
I'm buying some furniture,
but, uh..
359
00:32:57,932 --> 00:32:59,760
This is how
the other half lives.
360
00:32:59,803 --> 00:33:01,805
I mean, I'm not apologizing
for being poor.
361
00:33:01,849 --> 00:33:03,503
It's just that
I'm sorry if you--
362
00:33:03,546 --> 00:33:05,287
Ponch, I love your place.
363
00:33:05,331 --> 00:33:07,855
Really?
- It's great.
364
00:33:07,898 --> 00:33:09,204
Well, let me take you
to the balcony.
365
00:33:09,248 --> 00:33:10,510
Let me show you the view.
366
00:33:10,553 --> 00:33:11,859
- Okay.
- Come on.
367
00:33:17,082 --> 00:33:19,693
Ahem!
368
00:33:19,736 --> 00:33:21,695
Oh, uh, excuse me.
This is, uh..
369
00:33:21,738 --> 00:33:25,046
Permettez-moi de vous presenter
Suzanne, n'est
370
00:33:25,090 --> 00:33:26,830
- Oui.
371
00:33:26,874 --> 00:33:27,962
Ca va.
372
00:33:28,006 --> 00:33:29,485
What is shaking, pussycats?
373
00:33:34,229 --> 00:33:36,275
Hey, Jon, the steaks
are burning!
374
00:33:37,537 --> 00:33:38,842
Here.
375
00:33:38,886 --> 00:33:40,061
Hey!
376
00:33:40,105 --> 00:33:41,715
Okay, here.
W-wait! Smother it.
377
00:33:41,758 --> 00:33:45,762
Ow! Get the sprayer!
Where's the sprayer?
378
00:33:45,806 --> 00:33:47,634
Ow! Ow! Hey!
379
00:33:47,677 --> 00:33:49,723
Oh, no!
380
00:33:49,766 --> 00:33:51,290
I like mine
well-done anyway.
381
00:34:21,363 --> 00:34:22,756
You sent for us, sarge?
382
00:34:22,799 --> 00:34:26,238
Uh, yeah. I thought
you guys might like
383
00:34:26,281 --> 00:34:27,848
to ride in the cruiser
for the rest of the day.
384
00:34:29,632 --> 00:34:32,113
Normally, I know you
wouldn't like to do that.
385
00:34:32,157 --> 00:34:34,855
But, uh, it might be fun,
you'll have company.
386
00:34:36,161 --> 00:34:37,988
Uh, your observer.
387
00:34:43,733 --> 00:34:45,692
You mean you want us
to baby
388
00:34:45,735 --> 00:34:47,955
I mean, I can't even..
If he says one..
389
00:34:47,998 --> 00:34:50,697
The idea is to anoint him
with the wisdom
390
00:34:50,740 --> 00:34:53,134
of the California
vehicle code.
391
00:34:53,178 --> 00:34:56,137
Ah, come on, sarge.
That's a bit much to ask.
392
00:34:56,181 --> 00:34:57,182
Ask?
393
00:34:57,225 --> 00:34:58,313
Yes.
Is it an order?
394
00:34:58,357 --> 00:34:59,836
No.
395
00:34:59,880 --> 00:35:02,056
Then it's too much.
396
00:35:02,100 --> 00:35:04,102
It's just a request.
397
00:35:06,191 --> 00:35:08,193
- 'From his government.'
- Mm-mm.
398
00:35:08,236 --> 00:35:11,021
- From your state department.
- Uh-uh.
399
00:35:11,065 --> 00:35:12,458
'From your
division commander.'
400
00:35:12,501 --> 00:35:13,502
- No.
- No.
401
00:35:13,546 --> 00:35:14,895
Your sergeant!
402
00:35:44,533 --> 00:35:46,361
All this is a waste of time.
403
00:35:46,405 --> 00:35:50,191
Why don't you just
take me home?
404
00:35:50,235 --> 00:35:53,063
This is your
father's idea.
405
00:35:53,107 --> 00:35:54,326
He wouldn't like it.
406
00:35:56,241 --> 00:35:58,547
But why you two?
407
00:35:58,591 --> 00:36:00,636
Well, maybe he heard
we were friends.
408
00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:02,203
Listen, why don't you
just relax
409
00:36:02,247 --> 00:36:04,727
and maybe
you can learn something?
410
00:36:04,771 --> 00:36:06,686
I've learned
all I care to know.
411
00:36:06,729 --> 00:36:08,775
You write citations,
the fines are paid
412
00:36:08,818 --> 00:36:10,211
the government gets richer.
413
00:36:10,255 --> 00:36:12,039
You know what you are,
both of you?
414
00:36:12,082 --> 00:36:14,607
You're nothing more than tax
collectors in fancy uniforms.
415
00:36:14,650 --> 00:36:16,043
Listen, Your Highness--
416
00:36:16,086 --> 00:36:19,786
Ahem, it's gonna
cost you a quarter.
417
00:36:19,829 --> 00:36:21,962
The uniforms aren't that fancy.
418
00:36:22,005 --> 00:36:24,791
And we don't always
write citations
419
00:36:24,834 --> 00:36:27,533
because we're not
always around.
420
00:36:27,576 --> 00:36:29,709
And reckless drivers
get away with murder.
421
00:36:33,974 --> 00:36:36,411
Six kids on the way
to the beach.
422
00:36:36,455 --> 00:36:39,501
The driver, he lost control
and went off the Canyon Road.
423
00:36:39,545 --> 00:36:41,808
He's okay.
Minor injuries.
424
00:36:41,851 --> 00:36:43,549
He killed all five
of his friends.
425
00:36:45,725 --> 00:36:47,857
'This one was
forced out of control'
426
00:36:47,901 --> 00:36:50,120
in front of a truck
that couldn't stop.
427
00:36:50,164 --> 00:36:52,993
Three fatalities.
428
00:36:53,036 --> 00:36:55,038
One four-year-old child.
429
00:36:55,082 --> 00:36:57,476
The guy who cut him off..
430
00:36:57,519 --> 00:36:58,781
...never even stopped.
431
00:37:03,046 --> 00:37:06,267
'Attention, all units in the
vicinity of Veteran and Slawson'
432
00:37:06,311 --> 00:37:07,790
'possible 11-44.'
433
00:37:14,841 --> 00:37:17,409
Come on, Barney.
Get in. Let's roll.
434
00:37:17,452 --> 00:37:20,150
LA 15,
7 Mary 4 responding.
435
00:37:20,194 --> 00:37:21,151
Hey, Barney!
436
00:37:22,457 --> 00:37:24,154
- Come on, get in.
437
00:37:57,797 --> 00:37:58,711
'Two cars involved.'
438
00:37:59,842 --> 00:38:02,497
'15 SA, 10-39
at the office.'
439
00:38:04,325 --> 00:38:06,588
'15 6 Adam, 11-25.'
440
00:38:06,632 --> 00:38:08,590
'Stalled vehicle in
the number one lane.'
441
00:38:08,634 --> 00:38:11,071
'East bound,
Santa Monica freeway..'
442
00:38:41,754 --> 00:38:44,104
Come on, Sheik. Let's go.
Come on! They need help.
443
00:38:44,147 --> 00:38:46,324
Hurry up.
Will you move it?
444
00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:00,294
- Yeah.
445
00:39:00,338 --> 00:39:01,687
I'll need the portapower
and some chain.
446
00:39:01,730 --> 00:39:02,731
It's in the second compartment
447
00:39:02,775 --> 00:39:03,950
right side of the truck.
448
00:39:04,994 --> 00:39:06,909
Sheik, come here.
449
00:39:06,953 --> 00:39:09,303
Your Highness, come here.
450
00:39:11,087 --> 00:39:12,175
Barney, come here!
451
00:39:20,967 --> 00:39:22,882
Now, you hold this up high.
452
00:39:34,807 --> 00:39:36,156
Is he going to live?
453
00:39:36,199 --> 00:39:37,810
He's got a 60-40 chance.
454
00:39:50,649 --> 00:39:52,607
I see you have
royalty with you.
455
00:39:52,651 --> 00:39:54,566
What's he doing?
456
00:39:54,609 --> 00:39:56,306
Sightseeing.
457
00:39:56,350 --> 00:39:57,873
Not pretty.
458
00:39:57,917 --> 00:40:00,398
Say, Jon, you mind
taking the statements here?
459
00:40:00,441 --> 00:40:03,923
I'll do the hospital
follow-up.
460
00:40:03,966 --> 00:40:05,228
Alright.
You're faded.
461
00:40:05,272 --> 00:40:07,143
- See you later.
- You bet.
462
00:40:33,387 --> 00:40:35,389
I lost my temper at him.
463
00:40:35,433 --> 00:40:36,564
I think it did some good.
464
00:40:38,392 --> 00:40:39,828
Sometimes that's the only way.
465
00:40:45,573 --> 00:40:46,922
Just hang on, old man.
466
00:40:48,402 --> 00:40:49,577
'You're in excellent hands.'
467
00:41:03,635 --> 00:41:05,506
'So be on the lookout
for car clouters'
468
00:41:05,550 --> 00:41:08,422
'shaking down
any abandoned vehicles.'
469
00:41:08,466 --> 00:41:10,424
'Okay, I guess
that's everything.'
470
00:41:10,468 --> 00:41:13,514
Oh, uh, one more thing.
471
00:41:13,558 --> 00:41:17,126
Regulations state that
accepting gifts or gratuities
472
00:41:17,170 --> 00:41:19,912
is strictly prohibited.
473
00:41:19,955 --> 00:41:21,566
Okay, hit your beats.
474
00:41:27,876 --> 00:41:29,791
Well, I hope
you two are aware
475
00:41:29,835 --> 00:41:32,968
that that last little bit
was meant for you.
476
00:41:33,012 --> 00:41:35,144
- Yep.
477
00:41:35,188 --> 00:41:36,885
The only gift I ever got
was from a guy
478
00:41:36,929 --> 00:41:39,018
I helped change a tire.
479
00:41:39,061 --> 00:41:42,021
Gave me a tip on a horse..
480
00:41:42,064 --> 00:41:44,719
...and the donkey
ran dead last.
481
00:41:44,763 --> 00:41:47,983
Well, if I were you,
I'd check the parking lot out
482
00:41:48,027 --> 00:41:49,985
before you
engrave it in stone.
483
00:41:50,029 --> 00:41:51,639
- Yep.
484
00:42:04,217 --> 00:42:05,958
Whoo!
485
00:42:11,311 --> 00:42:13,574
Wow!
486
00:42:13,618 --> 00:42:14,662
Beautiful, aren't they?
487
00:42:16,795 --> 00:42:19,145
Yeah, but they
do look like gifts.
488
00:42:19,188 --> 00:42:20,973
They couldn't be for us.
489
00:42:21,016 --> 00:42:22,365
Uh, read the cards.
490
00:42:24,629 --> 00:42:27,849
Hey, Jon, this one
is addressed to you.
491
00:42:29,372 --> 00:42:30,373
Oh, yeah?
492
00:42:37,032 --> 00:42:40,601
Yeah, well, uh...
this one's yours.
493
00:42:40,645 --> 00:42:41,559
Hmm.
494
00:42:44,213 --> 00:42:45,475
Pink slips.
495
00:42:45,519 --> 00:42:47,695
Huh. "Sheik Barney."
496
00:42:51,481 --> 00:42:53,701
I don't know, Jon.
497
00:42:53,745 --> 00:42:55,573
An SE's a little
more car than I want.
498
00:42:55,616 --> 00:42:58,663
Yeah, well, you think you'd like
the 450 SL a little better?
499
00:43:02,057 --> 00:43:03,015
It's yours.
500
00:43:07,672 --> 00:43:09,064
Whoo!
501
00:43:54,501 --> 00:43:57,199
Ah...but why?
502
00:43:58,723 --> 00:44:00,072
These are not bribes.
503
00:44:00,115 --> 00:44:02,857
These are gifts
of gratitude
504
00:44:02,901 --> 00:44:05,643
from friend to friend.
505
00:44:05,686 --> 00:44:08,384
You made me..
How do you say?
506
00:44:08,428 --> 00:44:10,430
You made me open my eyes
and see things.
507
00:44:10,473 --> 00:44:12,388
You made me see myself.
508
00:44:12,432 --> 00:44:14,826
All I wanted to do
was thank you.
509
00:44:14,869 --> 00:44:18,177
Well, we can't accept them.
They're gifts.
510
00:44:18,220 --> 00:44:20,005
But in America, we place
511
00:44:20,048 --> 00:44:24,618
a very high price
on a handshake.
512
00:44:24,662 --> 00:44:26,011
Ah..
513
00:44:28,230 --> 00:44:30,189
Well..
514
00:44:30,232 --> 00:44:31,581
Well..
515
00:44:31,625 --> 00:44:35,847
At least, I can say
that from now on..
516
00:44:35,890 --> 00:44:37,413
...I'm going to drive
the limousine.
517
00:44:37,457 --> 00:44:39,981
Rather, my staff is
going to drive it for me.
518
00:44:40,025 --> 00:44:41,983
No more hot-rodding
in the Ferrari.
519
00:44:42,027 --> 00:44:43,637
Well, that's very good.
520
00:44:48,686 --> 00:44:50,862
Uh, one more thing.
521
00:44:50,905 --> 00:44:52,559
Control your temper.
522
00:44:52,602 --> 00:44:55,780
And always try to be
cool, calm and friendly.
523
00:44:55,823 --> 00:44:58,217
Yes, yes.
Cool, calm and friendly.
524
00:44:58,260 --> 00:44:59,261
Yes.
525
00:45:00,306 --> 00:45:01,699
See you, Barney.
526
00:45:22,632 --> 00:45:24,634
Why, that two-faced,
double-talking liar!
527
00:45:24,678 --> 00:45:26,245
Watch your temper, Ponch.
528
00:45:26,288 --> 00:45:27,855
I'm mad and I admit it!
529
00:45:40,955 --> 00:45:43,262
I've had it with this cat. I'm
going to throw the book at him.
530
00:45:43,305 --> 00:45:44,829
I'm gonna take him
off the street.
531
00:45:44,872 --> 00:45:46,526
- Immunity or no immunity--
- Hey, Ponch, uh...
532
00:45:53,446 --> 00:45:55,622
Well, at last you're
here to do your duty.
533
00:45:56,928 --> 00:45:58,364
I've been speeding
all over your beat.
534
00:45:58,407 --> 00:46:00,018
I have a ticket from Baricza.
535
00:46:00,061 --> 00:46:03,064
I have one from Grossman.
I have one from Cahill.
536
00:46:03,108 --> 00:46:05,110
I have one from Fritz.
537
00:46:05,153 --> 00:46:06,502
Where have you been?
538
00:46:06,546 --> 00:46:08,330
Look, you didn't
have to go speeding.
539
00:46:08,374 --> 00:46:11,594
You could have
called me tonight.
540
00:46:11,638 --> 00:46:13,683
I'll be gone by tonight.
541
00:46:13,727 --> 00:46:16,121
I'm flying
to Paris at 4:00.
542
00:46:16,164 --> 00:46:17,513
To Paris
543
00:46:17,557 --> 00:46:19,689
Well, Barney's younger brother
is in trouble
544
00:46:19,733 --> 00:46:22,475
and the Sheik wants me
to try to straighten him out.
545
00:46:24,390 --> 00:46:26,871
Do you care to join me?
546
00:46:26,914 --> 00:46:29,874
Yeah, sure.
Jon speaks French.
547
00:46:31,049 --> 00:46:33,442
Anyway, I'll write you.
548
00:46:35,662 --> 00:46:37,490
And I'll expect replies.
549
00:46:37,533 --> 00:46:38,621
Oh, that's a deal.
550
00:46:40,319 --> 00:46:42,538
'Hey, hey, hey!'
551
00:46:42,582 --> 00:46:45,846
Hold it, now.
Ponch, that's a gift.
552
00:46:45,890 --> 00:46:47,326
Well, come on.
You're gonna have to return it.
553
00:46:57,640 --> 00:46:59,207
What do you want me
to do with these tickets?
554
00:46:59,251 --> 00:47:01,035
Let the consulate
handle them.
555
00:47:22,883 --> 00:47:24,580
A really special type.
556
00:47:24,624 --> 00:47:26,931
Yeah, but, uh...
blew your cool.
557
00:47:28,671 --> 00:47:29,890
Oh, wait a minute, man.
558
00:47:29,934 --> 00:47:31,370
That was before I knew
it was her.
559
00:47:31,413 --> 00:47:34,634
Nah, "I'm mad" you said.
"I admit it."
560
00:47:34,677 --> 00:47:37,593
So I owe you another quarter.
561
00:47:37,637 --> 00:47:39,160
Yeah, well, uh,
I'll take it.
39267
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