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ANTERIORMENTE
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Did you make this?
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I'll tell you what - my wife, she'd go fucking nuts for that.
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- Serious?
- Yeah, little present.
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My friend's funeral is on Thursday, and the wake is at Whelan's pub.
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Do you think you could pull off being Patrick's date?
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Yes.
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I'll create a distraction for you to hide the gun.
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One of them's got a boyfriend.
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He doesn't go by the name of Charlie Littlepockets, does he?
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I'll give you the name...
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For a grand.
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Shit.
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You're not pregnant.
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Since when have you known this?
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The night before last.
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- What?
- I'm sorry!
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Leanne. Leanne!
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Right.
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Well, this is it.
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The big day.
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T minus zero.
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Is that all you're having?
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Come on, let me make you something, you need a good breakfast.
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- I'm good, thanks.
- But you should go out on a full stomach.
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This is no time to avoid trans fats.
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Let's go mad and have a sausage sandwich.
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I said I'm good, thank you.
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You are going to be able to do this today, aren't you?
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You know, do it...properly?
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I know this isn't nice.
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None of us wanted this, but the best thing we can do now,
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for all of our sakes, including Patrick,
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is to go ahead today and...give it our all.
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I know.
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Good.
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Nice one, mate.
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Do you know what? When this is over, you and me,
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I think we should go to...fucking Cornwall!
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I'm going upstairs to get into character.
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What's that?
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It's a silencer, you prick.
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Yeah, cool.
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The mayor's office declined to comment.
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There's been a significant development into the investigation
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into the death of local schoolboy Gareth Pugh.
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The 68-year-old suspect, arrested on Monday, has been released,
48
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with all charges against him dropped.
49
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Police are now understood to be following an entirely new line of inquiry.
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Traffic now, and it looks like it's not a lot of fun on the M32.
51
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So are you doing the arrest today?
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- Gareth Pugh suspect?
- Yeah.
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Good, good.
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- What about you?
- Oh, busy.
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Busy, yeah.
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Yeah, I've got a Renault Scenic being parked illegally
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for the last three weeks.
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The alarm's started going off now, to add insult to injury.
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Got to slap a court order on that mother.
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So where are you doing the arrest, then, just...
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Just at his house?
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- School.
- Oh, are you?
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Good. Jolly good.
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Great, well...
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Good luck with that.
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Yeah, thanks.
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And good luck with the, um, Renault Scenic.
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Yep.
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Colin?
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You want to come with us?
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What, on the arrest?
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Yeah.
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No, I'd just be in the way.
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- You'd be more than welcome, but...
- Yeah, OK! Great.
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I'm going to get a Crunchie from the vending, do you want anything?
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See you later.
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- Is that?
- Yeah.
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Dearly beloved.
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We are gathered here today to say farewell to Ian Francis Bullard.
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And you'll notice I say "farewell", and not "goodbye".
81
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You'll notice I say "farewell", and not "goodbye".
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Because today is not an ending.
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Death is a door through which we each must...
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Good times.
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Ready?
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Patrick.
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How's your head, son?
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Willie. Willie!
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Patrick!
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Oh, come here.
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Hey!
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Really appreciate you making it down here today, mate.
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That means a lot.
94
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Hey, you're not with this ugly bastard, are you?
95
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How much is he paying you?
96
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I'm joking.
97
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Heart of a fucking lion, this one.
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Willie, this is Claire.
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Claire?
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God bless you both.
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God bless the both of you.
102
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How long has this been going on?
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About three months.
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On our first date, we went ten pin bowling.
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Bowling?
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Hey, Shirl.
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Shirley!
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- Look here.
- Oh, long time no see!
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Hey, thank you for that bear.
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I'm serious, that was fucking beautiful, actually.
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Nah, no worries.
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Hey, hold on to him.
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I like a man who can sew, I do.
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I won't have him cook,
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but I think a man should be able to sew a button.
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It's ten past, you're late.
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Have you got it, then?
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No, no, no, no, no.
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Meat. A dog must have meat, raw meat.
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Anything else is going to dull them, isn't it?
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Willie? What's up, mate?
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Who the fuck's that?
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Well, she was at the service.
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Probably some bird he was shagging.
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Keep an eye on her. Keep her away from Amanda.
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- He'd have done the same for us, wouldn't he?
- Yeah.
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All right, mate.
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Right. Now, I only know the boy's first name.
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- Fuck sake!
- It's Patrick.
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- Patrick?
- That's the one.
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And they were shagging.
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Patrick, and he lives in Swindon?
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At it like two dogs in a ditch, they were.
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Fuck me, this is going to ruffle a few feathers, isn't it?
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Morning, noon and night, like sailors on a bunk bed.
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Right.
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Me, I absolutely love
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anything to do with the Tudors.
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Seriously. Films, telly...
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books, even. I love it.
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- One pack.
- All right, Amanda, love?
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I'm not being funny, right?
But who the fuck is that?
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- Who?
- That.
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What does she think she fucking looks like?
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Did you see her at the service?
146
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I think she's a cousin of Ian's.
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What fucking cousin? I've never met her.
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- One pack.
- Yeah.
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- Yeah, I'll call you back, mate.
- What cousin?
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- 'Listen, I've got a name.'
- One pack?
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I'll call you back in five.
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Well, he Irish, isn't he? Cousins coming out of his arsehole.
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Right, well, nice doing business with you, love.
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If you don't mind fucking off, I need to have a piss
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- in a cardboard bowl.
- No can do, I'm afraid.
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See, I'm going to need that grand back.
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- What?
- The money.
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Give us it back.
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Now, hang on, we had a deal.
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No, the people that I work for - they don't really do deals.
161
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Well, you can tell the people you work for
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to suck my arse.
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Big mistake.
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Nice one, sis. I said he'd try it on, didn't I?
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Cheeky twat.
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Get me drinks menu!
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Is she fucking looking at me?
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What?
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I want to see drinks menu.
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I don't think there is a drinks menu.
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There's Fosters, probably wine.
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Make me appletini.
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- What?
- I want appletini.
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Make.
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Pick-up, you twat.
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She wants an appletini.
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Fine.
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How do you make an appletini?
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Just put some shit in a glass.
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Last lap.
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Come on, ladies. It's not a sponsored walk.
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Did you fucking see that?
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What is this? It's disgusting.
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- An appletini...?
- This is joke.
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You think I'm whore?
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Again.
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All right, love, I think it's taxi time for someone, don't you?
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I'm sorry, but who the fuck actually are you?
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I am friend of Ian's.
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- What is to you?
- What's it to me?
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I'm his fucking fiance, love.
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I think you should leave.
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I have right to be here.
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Ian and I were very close.
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Are you fucking Sandra?
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Yes.
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Yes, I am Sandra.
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He told me it was over with Sandra.
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Darling.
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With Sandra...
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it is never over.
202
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So, you can get passionate?
203
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That's not what Ian told me.
204
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Hello?
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Is that you, Willie?
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OK, love.
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All the late-night text messages, that was you, wasn't it?
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Every one.
209
00:16:59,109 --> 00:17:02,708
And when he kept saying overnight in Kidderminster, for work?
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I am based just outside kiddie minster.
211
00:17:30,742 --> 00:17:32,890
And when he said he was doing a beekeeping course,
212
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and we were still getting our honey from Aldi,
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he was with you, wasn't he?
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My darling, he couldn't keep away.
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- You bitch!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, ladies! All right, time out.
216
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All right, mate, mate. Let them sort it, yeah?
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Go on, love, fucking have her!
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Shit.
219
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William!
220
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I'm watching my programme!
221
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Fucking whore!
222
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Yeah, Ian said making love to you was like fucking an otter.
223
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Fuck!
224
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Right, that's it, fucking show over.
225
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Fucking silk, that.
226
00:18:41,874 --> 00:18:43,336
No!
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- Fucking chuck her out.
- Get your hands off me.
228
00:18:46,170 --> 00:18:49,148
- Are you OK?
- No! No!
229
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- Come on, out here, now.
- No! Ian...
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- I know, I've heard it before.
- Ian loved me. He loved me like...
231
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There's a bag of Hula Hoops for the bus home, now fuck off.
232
00:18:58,529 --> 00:19:00,581
Oh, my God, right, we need to get you to hospital.
233
00:19:00,582 --> 00:19:02,299
- I'm fine.
- Patrick, what are you doing?
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00:19:02,300 --> 00:19:04,659
- People are looking.
- I don't care... the baby.
235
00:19:04,660 --> 00:19:07,695
- Patrick, leave her alone, mate, you'll catch something.
- Come on.
236
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Come on.
237
00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:11,645
I'm not pregnant.
238
00:19:13,202 --> 00:19:15,071
- What?
- Fucking forgotten what he's like,
239
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he's like the dog with two fucking dicks, isn't he?
240
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I'm not pregnant.
241
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I never was.
242
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I'm sorry. Just...
243
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- go in.
- That's it, mate. Come on.
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Come on and have a beer, eh?
245
00:19:31,478 --> 00:19:34,256
Come on and have a beer. Come on.
246
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You don't want a dead man's sloppy seconds anyway, do you?
247
00:19:41,677 --> 00:19:43,604
Sorry, Amanda.
248
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It's not always worth it, son. You'll be scratching your bollocks for a week.
249
00:19:53,603 --> 00:19:55,322
Willie, is that you?
250
00:19:55,323 --> 00:19:58,286
- Yes, Mum.
- What are you doing coming in and out?
251
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You're playing hell with my nerves.
252
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All right, calm down,
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I'm only going to change my bloody shirt.
254
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:22,039
Mate, you look like shite.
255
00:20:22,396 --> 00:20:23,972
What are you drinking?
256
00:20:26,386 --> 00:20:30,145
- I'll have a whisky.
- Fuck me, good lad. He's on the whiskies.
257
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Good lad.
258
00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:38,838
Charlie Littlepockets.
259
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It's Patrick.
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Fuck sake!
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I'm sorry, mate. What the fuck's going on there, then?
262
00:22:54,436 --> 00:22:56,460
You're going to take him for a drive.
263
00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:02,367
Get the knuckles, the cable cutters...
264
00:23:04,447 --> 00:23:05,841
and the glock.
265
00:23:06,515 --> 00:23:08,359
Meet me at the place.
266
00:23:09,196 --> 00:23:11,621
Give us ten minutes' head start.
267
00:23:13,921 --> 00:23:16,304
Fucking breaks my heart.
268
00:23:22,120 --> 00:23:24,080
You're a good man, Willie.
269
00:23:47,659 --> 00:23:49,431
Oh, fuck.
270
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:03,159
You look like you're carrying the weight of the whole fucking world
271
00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:05,987
- on your shoulders, mate.
- Willie.
272
00:24:05,988 --> 00:24:09,735
- I was just about to get off, actually.
- No, no, no, you've been drinking, I'll give you a lift.
273
00:24:09,736 --> 00:24:12,201
- Oh, no, no, it's all right.
- I insist.
274
00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:33,320
No. No, no, no, no, no.
275
00:24:45,828 --> 00:24:47,467
Patrick!
276
00:24:47,468 --> 00:24:48,868
Shit.
277
00:24:52,659 --> 00:24:54,818
Patrick! Shit!
278
00:24:54,819 --> 00:24:57,937
Shit! Patrick!
279
00:25:01,233 --> 00:25:04,524
'It's only me, Mrs Whelan. What's that, EastEnders?'
280
00:25:04,525 --> 00:25:07,248
'Oh, it's rubbish, no. I don't watch it.'
281
00:25:10,534 --> 00:25:11,861
Shit!
282
00:25:11,862 --> 00:25:13,719
- Fuck's sake!
- I'm sorry.
283
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:15,302
I'm so sorry!
284
00:25:18,307 --> 00:25:21,322
I've just got to pick a few things up for Willie, then I'll be out your hair.
285
00:25:25,159 --> 00:25:26,588
You?
286
00:25:29,685 --> 00:25:31,325
It's fucking you.
20018
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