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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,287 --> 00:00:08,407 Amy, come on. 2 00:00:15,046 --> 00:00:17,126 Oh, my god. Oh, for god's sake. 3 00:00:18,126 --> 00:00:20,566 See you in a bit, ok? Ok. Good luck. 4 00:00:20,606 --> 00:00:22,486 Ok. We'll be back as soon as we can then. 5 00:00:22,526 --> 00:00:24,206 Argh, argh, argh. 6 00:00:24,246 --> 00:00:26,685 Oh. Paul, what's happened? 7 00:00:26,725 --> 00:00:28,965 My quads. My quads have seized up... 8 00:00:29,005 --> 00:00:31,485 Oh, here we go. ..From sitting in the backseat. 9 00:00:31,525 --> 00:00:34,285 Oh, lord, oh, paolo. I blame myself. 10 00:00:34,325 --> 00:00:36,005 Any idea when they'll seize down? 11 00:00:36,045 --> 00:00:38,205 Which ones are quads again? 12 00:00:38,245 --> 00:00:41,284 Legs, mum, front legs. The things I'm currently rubbing. 13 00:00:41,324 --> 00:00:42,684 Ah, these ones sue. These ones. 14 00:00:42,724 --> 00:00:44,204 And what about your bottom? 15 00:00:44,244 --> 00:00:46,924 Mum. Can you be quieter, please? 16 00:00:46,964 --> 00:00:48,604 Not from back here, no. 17 00:00:48,644 --> 00:00:50,564 Sam: We're going to be late, mum. 18 00:00:50,604 --> 00:00:52,124 Yes. Thank you, Sam. 19 00:00:52,163 --> 00:00:55,483 Just don't worry. I'll get it, rach, don't worry. I'll get him inside. 20 00:00:55,523 --> 00:00:56,763 How's your bottom, Paul? 21 00:00:56,803 --> 00:00:59,323 Oh. Mum, it's five to four. Mum. 22 00:00:59,363 --> 00:01:01,443 Yes, thank you. Thank you for your help, Amy. 23 00:01:01,483 --> 00:01:02,883 Well, what do you expect me to do? 24 00:01:02,923 --> 00:01:05,842 Well, maybe not lean against the car eating... are those crisps? 25 00:01:05,882 --> 00:01:08,482 ..Before your interview. Not really. They're monster munch. 26 00:01:08,522 --> 00:01:10,578 Just go. Go and get Amy her job. Ok... ok, good luck. 27 00:01:10,602 --> 00:01:12,642 I'll get him in there. Have you got your speech? 28 00:01:12,682 --> 00:01:15,122 Yeah, it's in my jacket pocket. Yeah. Robin, what you doing? 29 00:01:15,162 --> 00:01:17,282 Aah. Carrying you, mate, fireman's lifting you in. 30 00:01:17,322 --> 00:01:19,041 He ain't heavy, he's my brother in law. 31 00:01:19,081 --> 00:01:20,521 Do you think it's going to work? 32 00:01:20,561 --> 00:01:22,241 Aaargh, ugh. No, it's not actually. 33 00:01:22,281 --> 00:01:25,321 Ooh, god. Oh, you're heavier than you look, ain't you? 34 00:01:25,361 --> 00:01:27,041 Well, no. I'm about the same as I... 35 00:01:27,081 --> 00:01:30,121 Yeah, but you're dense though. Like sort of dark matter. 36 00:01:30,161 --> 00:01:32,440 Ok, good luck. Sam: Hang on, wait for me. 37 00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:33,640 Dark matter? 38 00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:38,240 You still haven't answered my question about your bottom, Paul. 39 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:40,680 It's still hurting, mum, thank you. 40 00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:43,000 Come on, come on, Paul. I'll get it. I got you, 41 00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:46,279 I got you. Ooh, just take little steps, like pingu. 42 00:01:46,319 --> 00:01:47,959 Archery time! 43 00:01:47,999 --> 00:01:50,239 No, that's a bit much. That's a bit much, Sam. 44 00:01:50,279 --> 00:01:51,319 Hi. 45 00:01:51,359 --> 00:01:52,759 Sam: That's creepy. Um... 46 00:01:52,799 --> 00:01:54,719 Do you want me to start on the trophy? 47 00:01:54,759 --> 00:01:56,239 Yeah, let's start on the tro... 48 00:01:57,279 --> 00:01:59,638 What's up, archery fans? 49 00:01:59,678 --> 00:02:04,438 My name is olympic Archer Paul jessop, as you know, 50 00:02:04,478 --> 00:02:07,518 and this is my paul4ar... oh. 51 00:02:07,558 --> 00:02:10,558 Paul4archery channel. 52 00:02:10,598 --> 00:02:13,677 Please do subscribe below. 53 00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:18,357 Now today I'm talking fingers, finger exercises, 54 00:02:18,397 --> 00:02:19,917 finger health, 55 00:02:19,957 --> 00:02:24,356 so this is my standard finger workout. Warm up. 56 00:02:24,396 --> 00:02:27,516 So this is my standard finger warm-up. 57 00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:30,156 We can just cut that together. 58 00:02:30,196 --> 00:02:35,156 Huge part of archery, these guys, the talons, yeah. 59 00:02:35,196 --> 00:02:37,635 Really want to feel it in the tendons. 60 00:02:37,675 --> 00:02:39,915 Yeah, do you know want to fire an arrow or something dad? 61 00:02:39,955 --> 00:02:41,915 Oh, just can we... Can you stop interrupting? 62 00:02:41,955 --> 00:02:44,115 Guys, please! I was nailing that one. 63 00:02:44,155 --> 00:02:46,155 Wow, that was you nailing it, was it? 64 00:02:46,195 --> 00:02:48,075 Yeah. It's got to be more active, dad. 65 00:02:48,115 --> 00:02:51,234 This is just a bit, you know, no offence, but boring. 66 00:02:51,274 --> 00:02:53,954 Er, it... have you ever been on the Internet, Sam? 67 00:02:53,994 --> 00:02:57,034 It's mostly boring, ok? People like it boring. 68 00:02:57,074 --> 00:02:59,754 Do you know what the most popular thing on the Internet is? 69 00:02:59,794 --> 00:03:01,634 People taking photos of their own face. 70 00:03:01,674 --> 00:03:04,393 That's how boring it is. Please! Please, love! Yeah, I know dad. 71 00:03:04,433 --> 00:03:06,753 I'm 15. You don't need to mansplain the Internet to me. 72 00:03:06,793 --> 00:03:09,713 Well, I'm not, and you're also a man, so I can't mansplain to another man. 73 00:03:09,753 --> 00:03:12,713 The finger thing is quite boring, hon, and creepy. 74 00:03:12,753 --> 00:03:16,433 Can we all stop back-seat driving my YouTube channel, please? 75 00:03:16,473 --> 00:03:19,712 It's niche, sure, but that's how online influencing works. 76 00:03:19,752 --> 00:03:23,352 You... you get everyone who's into a niche thing together, 77 00:03:23,392 --> 00:03:25,632 ok, be it archery or... 78 00:03:25,672 --> 00:03:26,872 Teabagging. 79 00:03:26,912 --> 00:03:29,312 Oh, no, I'm sorry. It's not right. 80 00:03:29,352 --> 00:03:31,911 Why don't people get real jobs any more? 81 00:03:31,951 --> 00:03:33,311 Actually, yes. Um, where's Amy? 82 00:03:33,351 --> 00:03:36,311 I'm meant to be helping her with some job applications. 83 00:03:36,351 --> 00:03:38,071 Er, she's gone for a walk. 84 00:03:38,111 --> 00:03:41,271 A what? A walk? Amy doesn't walk, does she? 85 00:03:41,311 --> 00:03:42,911 I mean, she can. 86 00:03:42,950 --> 00:03:46,270 I'll tell you, Paul, when I was growing up, 87 00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:50,030 people had proper jobs, you know, like butcher, baker. 88 00:03:50,070 --> 00:03:53,830 Or candlestick maker. I know, sue, but times change. 89 00:03:53,870 --> 00:03:55,870 We can no longer consult nursery rhymes 90 00:03:55,910 --> 00:03:58,069 for effective careers advice, sadly. Doorbell rings 91 00:03:58,109 --> 00:03:59,949 oh, good. Finally. 92 00:03:59,989 --> 00:04:03,149 Well, our ancestors were all lumpers. 93 00:04:03,189 --> 00:04:05,669 What? What are lumpers? 94 00:04:05,709 --> 00:04:08,309 You know, stevedores. 95 00:04:09,668 --> 00:04:11,748 What the hell are you talking about? 96 00:04:11,788 --> 00:04:13,108 Oh, that's tight. 97 00:04:13,148 --> 00:04:15,628 That is tight. Oh, Robin, Dean, cherry, hi. Hi. 98 00:04:15,668 --> 00:04:18,228 All right, Rachel? Looking good. 99 00:04:18,268 --> 00:04:20,524 Like a jedi or something. Thank you. Why are you in, erm...? 100 00:04:20,548 --> 00:04:22,747 Yeah, we've been cycling. Me and Dean have, not cherry. 101 00:04:22,787 --> 00:04:23,987 Oh, right. 102 00:04:24,027 --> 00:04:25,627 I prefer cars. 103 00:04:25,667 --> 00:04:27,187 All right, paolo. Got your milk. 104 00:04:27,227 --> 00:04:28,347 Yeah... 105 00:04:28,387 --> 00:04:30,707 Hiya, sue. Oh, new hip in yet, is it? 106 00:04:30,747 --> 00:04:32,027 Erm, three weeks' time. 107 00:04:32,067 --> 00:04:33,747 Oh! Oh, my god, Robin. 108 00:04:33,787 --> 00:04:35,546 Why are your clothes so tight? 109 00:04:35,586 --> 00:04:37,506 Cycling gear, so it's lycra. 110 00:04:37,546 --> 00:04:39,146 That's illegal, isn't it? Laughter 111 00:04:39,186 --> 00:04:40,586 I know. 112 00:04:40,626 --> 00:04:43,306 I have told him. I can see all his bits. 113 00:04:43,346 --> 00:04:44,706 Dean: The three amigos! 114 00:04:44,746 --> 00:04:46,346 Sue: Yeah, it's like a boil-in-the-bag. 115 00:04:46,386 --> 00:04:48,266 Stop looking at it. Sam, could you... 116 00:04:48,306 --> 00:04:49,505 Don't film down there. 117 00:04:49,545 --> 00:04:50,665 It's all sweaty and all. 118 00:04:50,705 --> 00:04:52,641 No, nonsense, mate. You film what you like, brother. 119 00:04:52,665 --> 00:04:53,665 I've got nothing to hide. 120 00:04:53,705 --> 00:04:55,665 They whoop and cheer 121 00:04:58,385 --> 00:05:00,905 no, I'm not being rude, but you're here. Why are you here? 122 00:05:00,945 --> 00:05:03,744 Oh, yeah, sorry, just we're in the middle of a 25k river trail 123 00:05:03,784 --> 00:05:06,624 around the corner, and I realised I needed a little pit stop. 124 00:05:06,664 --> 00:05:07,664 Shit stop. 125 00:05:07,704 --> 00:05:09,904 Hey! Only number one. Ok... 126 00:05:09,944 --> 00:05:12,400 But, yeah, I do, so I thought i'd, er... ah, come and do it here. 127 00:05:12,424 --> 00:05:14,304 Yeah, fantastic. Go for it. 128 00:05:14,344 --> 00:05:16,199 You can actually do it in the lycra if you have to. 129 00:05:16,223 --> 00:05:18,263 It won't go anywhere cos it's sort of vacuum-packed, 130 00:05:18,303 --> 00:05:20,463 just, like, sloshes around or whatever. Oh. 131 00:05:20,503 --> 00:05:22,943 Sue: So you're not cycling then, Cheryl? 132 00:05:22,983 --> 00:05:27,623 No. I'm following in the suzuki. Ah. 133 00:05:27,663 --> 00:05:30,022 Yeah, cherry's in the support vehicle, sue. 134 00:05:30,062 --> 00:05:32,102 It's so bloody slow. Well... 135 00:05:32,142 --> 00:05:33,702 I keep getting honked. 136 00:05:33,742 --> 00:05:34,782 And bored. 137 00:05:34,822 --> 00:05:36,758 Yeah, but it's nice to do stuff together, though, babe. 138 00:05:36,782 --> 00:05:39,582 I go salsa with you, you come training with me. 139 00:05:39,622 --> 00:05:40,838 I'm not with you, though, am I? 140 00:05:40,862 --> 00:05:43,661 I'm in the car, watching your little bum pumping away. 141 00:05:43,701 --> 00:05:45,181 It's rubbish. Sounds all right! 142 00:05:45,221 --> 00:05:47,101 Paul: So, how long you been cycling, Robin? 143 00:05:47,141 --> 00:05:48,621 Since the dawn of time, mate. 144 00:05:48,661 --> 00:05:49,997 No, just the last couple of years. 145 00:05:50,021 --> 00:05:52,021 But I tell you what - feel these calves. 146 00:05:52,061 --> 00:05:54,340 Honestly, they're absolute cows, aren't they, babe? 147 00:05:54,380 --> 00:05:55,380 Yeah, in a bad way. 148 00:05:55,420 --> 00:05:57,820 He's had to Chuck out the skinny jeans that I got him. 149 00:05:57,860 --> 00:05:59,300 Oh... that's a shame. Wow. Yeah? 150 00:05:59,340 --> 00:06:02,260 Ok... this is weird. There you are. 151 00:06:02,300 --> 00:06:04,140 Meant to be doing these application forms. 152 00:06:04,180 --> 00:06:07,140 Yeah, I know. That's why I went out. I very much don't want to. 153 00:06:07,180 --> 00:06:09,339 Great! I'm so glad I'm going to be late for work 154 00:06:09,379 --> 00:06:11,499 to give you pro bono careers advice. 155 00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:13,059 Have to find another time. 156 00:06:13,099 --> 00:06:14,699 All right, gorgeous? 157 00:06:14,739 --> 00:06:16,259 Really? I'm 19. 158 00:06:16,299 --> 00:06:18,819 Heh, I'm still waiting for the bad news! 159 00:06:18,859 --> 00:06:20,179 I'm gay. That do it? 160 00:06:20,219 --> 00:06:21,618 Yep. That'll do, yeah. 161 00:06:21,658 --> 00:06:23,058 Is that my old t-shirt? 162 00:06:23,098 --> 00:06:24,658 So? You don't wear it any more. 163 00:06:24,698 --> 00:06:27,258 Well, can you please ask me before stealing my stuff, please? 164 00:06:27,298 --> 00:06:30,298 Oh, my god. I should shave 'em, really. Actually, Paul, I've got 165 00:06:30,338 --> 00:06:32,818 your dad's old bike in the shed from the '60s. 166 00:06:32,858 --> 00:06:34,017 Oh, aye, the '60s? 167 00:06:34,057 --> 00:06:36,377 What is it, a penny farthing? Laughter 168 00:06:36,417 --> 00:06:39,537 no, it's a proper racer. A falcon. 169 00:06:39,577 --> 00:06:40,857 Oh... 170 00:06:40,897 --> 00:06:43,097 Falcon? Falcons are quality, mate. 171 00:06:43,137 --> 00:06:44,217 Yeah. 172 00:06:44,257 --> 00:06:48,936 Well, my les absolutely loved it until his piles came through 173 00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:50,496 and then he had to stop. 174 00:06:50,536 --> 00:06:52,816 "Came through"? Piles aren't like teeth, sue. 175 00:06:52,856 --> 00:06:56,216 Er, les's were. He could have eaten an apple with them. 176 00:06:58,656 --> 00:07:00,871 So, which bike's yours, then, Robin? Yeah, the green one. 177 00:07:00,895 --> 00:07:03,631 I'll show you the green machine. The snot-mobile. The old snot-mobile. 178 00:07:03,655 --> 00:07:07,415 Amy! Can you not leave your coats lying around, please? 179 00:07:07,455 --> 00:07:09,191 Wow, you guys aren't mucking about. Lean and green. 180 00:07:09,215 --> 00:07:11,711 I might have to, er... might have to come out with you one of these days. 181 00:07:11,735 --> 00:07:13,534 Oh, yes, paolo! That's fightin' talk, innit? 182 00:07:13,574 --> 00:07:15,494 Join the peloton, brother. I can... I can cycle. 183 00:07:15,534 --> 00:07:17,054 Strap on the stabilisers and off we go! 184 00:07:17,094 --> 00:07:19,214 I got rid of them when I was eight, mate, so, er... 185 00:07:19,254 --> 00:07:21,510 Eight? That's a bit late, innit? Is it? That is late, yeah. 186 00:07:21,534 --> 00:07:22,534 Ok, ok, Amy. 187 00:07:22,574 --> 00:07:24,174 Ok, come on. 188 00:07:24,214 --> 00:07:25,654 We're late. 189 00:07:25,694 --> 00:07:29,133 Oh, Amy, you're covered in whatever monster munch is made out of. 190 00:07:29,173 --> 00:07:30,733 I can't believe it's potato. 191 00:07:30,773 --> 00:07:33,893 Can someone grab my Walker from the back, please? 192 00:07:33,933 --> 00:07:35,773 Oh... mum, quick. 193 00:07:36,973 --> 00:07:38,973 Rachel! Rach! 194 00:07:40,372 --> 00:07:42,172 You'll have to catch us up, sue! 195 00:07:45,972 --> 00:07:47,492 Hello. Sorry. Hi. 196 00:07:47,532 --> 00:07:50,812 We've got an appointment with Kim sinclair at four o'clock. 197 00:07:52,492 --> 00:07:55,651 Yeah, sorry, we're a little late, er... stuck in traffic. 198 00:07:55,691 --> 00:07:57,731 What's the name? Both: Amy jessop. 199 00:07:57,771 --> 00:08:00,131 She's Amy jessop, yes. I'm her mother. 200 00:08:00,171 --> 00:08:03,011 And also, erm, an old friend of Kim's. 201 00:08:03,051 --> 00:08:04,291 School friend. 202 00:08:04,331 --> 00:08:06,250 So I thought maybe we could hang around and... 203 00:08:06,290 --> 00:08:07,410 Well, no waiting. 204 00:08:07,450 --> 00:08:09,426 Well, no, we'll be really quiet. You won't know we're here. 205 00:08:09,450 --> 00:08:10,610 Help me, Rachel! 206 00:08:10,650 --> 00:08:11,930 Oh... 207 00:08:11,970 --> 00:08:14,770 Me Walker's stuck in the door! Help me! Oh, god. Yeah... 208 00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:18,809 Now, the saddle is very firm. Mm. 209 00:08:18,849 --> 00:08:20,609 Mm-hm. Good. 210 00:08:20,649 --> 00:08:22,969 Good. Firm's good. Firm but fair. Phone chimes 211 00:08:23,009 --> 00:08:24,369 erm... we... 212 00:08:24,409 --> 00:08:26,209 Ooh! Ooh, yes! 213 00:08:26,249 --> 00:08:30,649 Yeah! I've got one more subscriber to my paul4archery channel. 214 00:08:30,689 --> 00:08:32,848 Grr! That is great news. 215 00:08:32,888 --> 00:08:34,688 Sam: Yeah, proper influencers tend 216 00:08:34,728 --> 00:08:36,368 not to celebrate them individually, dad. 217 00:08:36,408 --> 00:08:37,408 Paul: Huh? 218 00:08:37,448 --> 00:08:39,888 Yeah, and the bell, the bell still works. Look. 219 00:08:39,928 --> 00:08:42,064 Sam: Maybe you could use the bike on your channel, dad, instead 220 00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:44,248 of those really boring finger exercises? 221 00:08:44,288 --> 00:08:45,503 Paul: Yeah, that's a good idea. 222 00:08:45,527 --> 00:08:47,727 You know, a whole-body fitness video. Yeah. 223 00:08:47,767 --> 00:08:49,727 Maximise my subscriber reach. 224 00:08:49,767 --> 00:08:52,287 Well, it would be good to break into double figures, certainly. 225 00:08:52,327 --> 00:08:55,047 Well, I've actually got 14, so there. 226 00:08:55,087 --> 00:08:57,687 Yeah, either way, can you stop dinging your bell, please? 227 00:08:57,727 --> 00:09:00,286 We're meant to be doing Amy's mock job interview. All right. 228 00:09:00,326 --> 00:09:01,606 Can I finish my cereal first? 229 00:09:01,646 --> 00:09:05,446 No, I've been waiting 40 minutes as it is. We're doing it right now. 230 00:09:05,486 --> 00:09:06,766 Amy, cereal? 231 00:09:06,806 --> 00:09:08,326 It's 2pm. 232 00:09:08,366 --> 00:09:11,565 So? You don't have to eat cereal at breakfast, granny. 233 00:09:11,605 --> 00:09:13,525 You can have it whenever you want. 234 00:09:13,565 --> 00:09:15,885 Well, that's PC gone mad. 235 00:09:15,925 --> 00:09:17,045 Erm... 236 00:09:17,085 --> 00:09:19,285 No, it isn't, but... 237 00:09:19,325 --> 00:09:21,365 Ready? Yeah? 238 00:09:21,405 --> 00:09:23,805 Can you tell Sam not to film it? 239 00:09:23,845 --> 00:09:25,044 Well, they might film it. 240 00:09:25,084 --> 00:09:26,164 Well, yes, very true. 241 00:09:26,204 --> 00:09:28,444 They might film it, so this is good practice. 242 00:09:28,484 --> 00:09:30,764 Ok, so, here we go. 243 00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:33,564 Is she going to be wearing that t-shirt for the interview? 244 00:09:33,604 --> 00:09:35,484 What's that? My rage against the machine t-shirt 245 00:09:35,524 --> 00:09:37,204 from the mid-'90s? Hopefully not, no. 246 00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:38,323 Why? What's wrong with it? 247 00:09:38,363 --> 00:09:40,163 Well, I don't know. Off the top of my head, 248 00:09:40,203 --> 00:09:42,763 going to a job interview with Che Guevara on your clothes 249 00:09:42,803 --> 00:09:45,179 might make them question your commitment to the role of admin 250 00:09:45,203 --> 00:09:47,843 assistant and, indeed, capitalism in general. 251 00:09:47,883 --> 00:09:51,482 Oh, is that who it is? Do you know, I thought it was frank Spencer. 252 00:09:52,802 --> 00:09:55,042 What? You know, the beret. 253 00:09:55,082 --> 00:09:56,962 Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. 254 00:09:57,002 --> 00:09:59,762 To be fair, you wouldn't want to employ either of them, would you? 255 00:09:59,802 --> 00:10:01,002 No, no! 256 00:10:01,042 --> 00:10:04,921 No, you should be wearing a skirt, Amy, and a blouse. 257 00:10:04,961 --> 00:10:06,441 A blouse? Seriously? 258 00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:09,721 Yeah, with a smart handbag that matches your shoes. 259 00:10:09,761 --> 00:10:11,601 Ok, well, we'll discuss wardrobe later. 260 00:10:11,641 --> 00:10:14,001 If we could just, please, let's get... let's get on with it. 261 00:10:14,041 --> 00:10:16,561 Ok, so, Amy... 262 00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:19,760 ..Tell me about yourself. 263 00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:21,720 Uhh... 264 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:23,080 ..I'm tall. 265 00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:24,480 I'm a libra. 266 00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:27,600 Mm-hm. I'm going to uni at swansea next year... ok. 267 00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:30,175 ..Because my girlfriend goes there. No, but don't... don't say that. 268 00:10:30,199 --> 00:10:32,495 That makes it sound like that's the only reason you're going. 269 00:10:32,519 --> 00:10:34,455 It is. Yeah, don't tell them you're going to swansea. 270 00:10:34,479 --> 00:10:35,975 That might make them not want to hire you. 271 00:10:35,999 --> 00:10:38,079 Talk about your personality. 272 00:10:38,119 --> 00:10:39,519 Right, yeah. Um... 273 00:10:39,559 --> 00:10:41,119 ..I'm impatient. 274 00:10:41,159 --> 00:10:43,398 I get bored easily. Ok. 275 00:10:43,438 --> 00:10:44,598 I'm quite lazy. 276 00:10:44,638 --> 00:10:46,598 Why would you tell them that? 277 00:10:46,638 --> 00:10:47,638 Cos she is lazy. 278 00:10:47,678 --> 00:10:49,838 Yes, I know she is, Sam, but don't tell them that! 279 00:10:49,878 --> 00:10:51,718 Let them find that out for themselves. 280 00:10:51,758 --> 00:10:54,518 Talk about your... your skills. 281 00:10:54,558 --> 00:10:58,157 Well, I can roll my tongue. Ok. 282 00:10:58,197 --> 00:11:01,997 And I know the name of that really long Welsh town, if that's useful. 283 00:11:02,037 --> 00:11:04,197 Why would that be useful? Oh, go on, then. 284 00:11:04,237 --> 00:11:05,757 She clears her throat 285 00:11:05,797 --> 00:11:09,996 llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrn- drobwllllantysiliogogogoch. 286 00:11:10,036 --> 00:11:12,916 Ha-ha! Well done! You should definitely do that! 287 00:11:12,956 --> 00:11:14,356 No, don't do that. Don't do that. 288 00:11:14,396 --> 00:11:16,196 Amy, you've got to sell yourself, yeah? 289 00:11:16,236 --> 00:11:19,276 Talk about chess club or, you know, learning the harp briefly. 290 00:11:19,316 --> 00:11:21,556 You know, anything that sets you apart. 291 00:11:21,596 --> 00:11:23,275 It's really competitive out there. 292 00:11:23,315 --> 00:11:27,755 And if you want... want sinclair business process outsourcing 293 00:11:27,795 --> 00:11:29,931 to take you seriously, then you've got to be passionate 294 00:11:29,955 --> 00:11:32,235 and dynamic and... 295 00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:34,275 Sinclair? Hang on... 296 00:11:34,315 --> 00:11:38,154 Oh, my god. This is Kim sinclair's business. Yeah, and? 297 00:11:38,194 --> 00:11:40,394 Oh... I know her! 298 00:11:40,434 --> 00:11:41,954 I've known her for years. 299 00:11:41,994 --> 00:11:43,810 Oh, my god, this is great. You'll be a shoo-in. 300 00:11:43,834 --> 00:11:44,954 Forget everything I said. 301 00:11:44,994 --> 00:11:46,970 This is how people actually get jobs in this country. 302 00:11:46,994 --> 00:11:49,113 It's with contacts. So, what, I don't need to practise 303 00:11:49,153 --> 00:11:51,049 for the interview, then? No, forget it, forget it. 304 00:11:51,073 --> 00:11:53,129 Just say that you like working in a team and you won't leave 305 00:11:53,153 --> 00:11:56,713 your coat lying around, you'll be fine. Cool. Great system. 306 00:11:56,753 --> 00:11:58,033 I'm having a bath, in that case. 307 00:11:58,073 --> 00:11:59,673 Ah, this is great! 308 00:11:59,713 --> 00:12:02,392 Oh, my god, rach. Have you got up to 15, have you? 309 00:12:02,432 --> 00:12:05,832 Huh? I'll hang your coat up then, Amy, shall I? 310 00:12:05,872 --> 00:12:07,952 No, no, no, no. This is not another subscriber. 311 00:12:07,992 --> 00:12:10,072 This is big-boy shit. 312 00:12:10,112 --> 00:12:11,472 Oh, no. Oh, no. 313 00:12:11,512 --> 00:12:13,112 Oh, Paul, are you ok? 314 00:12:13,152 --> 00:12:14,712 Huh? Yeah. 315 00:12:14,752 --> 00:12:19,431 As in, my old school emailed, asking me... 316 00:12:19,471 --> 00:12:22,231 ..To give out the awards at the year 11 sports day. 317 00:12:22,271 --> 00:12:24,351 Sam: Well, yeah, because you asked them if you could. 318 00:12:24,391 --> 00:12:28,630 Paul: Well, yeah, I offered, just as a favour, but this is immense! 319 00:12:28,670 --> 00:12:30,270 I can probably get you all free tickets. 320 00:12:30,310 --> 00:12:32,430 Sam: Tickets? To a sports day? 321 00:12:32,470 --> 00:12:33,910 Paul: Yeah! 322 00:12:33,950 --> 00:12:36,630 Oh, that's wonderful, Paul. I know. 323 00:12:36,670 --> 00:12:39,710 And are you going to be getting a prize, as well? 324 00:12:39,750 --> 00:12:41,589 Um... 325 00:12:41,629 --> 00:12:43,789 Nooo. No. 326 00:12:43,829 --> 00:12:47,309 But, you know, the point is, if you get the kids into something online, 327 00:12:47,349 --> 00:12:48,709 you can very quickly go viral, 328 00:12:48,749 --> 00:12:51,509 so I need to think about branded t-shirts, you know, 329 00:12:51,549 --> 00:12:54,469 big foam fingers, you know, maybe even foam feet or something. 330 00:12:54,509 --> 00:12:56,388 I don't know if you can do them. Mm. 331 00:12:56,428 --> 00:12:58,068 Er, Amy jessop? 332 00:12:58,108 --> 00:12:59,508 Here! Yes. 333 00:12:59,548 --> 00:13:01,268 Kim. Kim, hi. 334 00:13:01,308 --> 00:13:02,868 Oh. Hi. Yes? 335 00:13:02,908 --> 00:13:04,748 Er... 336 00:13:04,788 --> 00:13:05,948 Sorry? 337 00:13:05,988 --> 00:13:07,468 Rachel. 338 00:13:07,508 --> 00:13:09,547 Erm... Rachel hankey. From school. 339 00:13:09,587 --> 00:13:11,587 Oh! Oh, yes. 340 00:13:11,627 --> 00:13:13,187 Erm, hi. Hi. 341 00:13:13,227 --> 00:13:16,347 Sorry, are you here for the assistant job, as well, or...? 342 00:13:16,387 --> 00:13:17,747 What? No. No. 343 00:13:17,787 --> 00:13:19,107 Amy's my daughter. Amy jessop. 344 00:13:19,147 --> 00:13:20,467 Hi. Hi. 345 00:13:20,507 --> 00:13:21,946 Jessop's my married name. 346 00:13:21,986 --> 00:13:23,226 Ok, ok. 347 00:13:23,266 --> 00:13:27,426 And the boy with the camera and the lady with the zimmer frame, 348 00:13:27,466 --> 00:13:28,786 are they with you too or...? 349 00:13:28,826 --> 00:13:29,986 Sam: We are, yeah. 350 00:13:30,026 --> 00:13:31,786 Yes. Yes. Yes, we are. 351 00:13:31,826 --> 00:13:33,706 Sue jessop, granny. 352 00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:35,705 Very proud granny. 353 00:13:35,745 --> 00:13:38,105 And I've just had my hip replaced. 354 00:13:38,145 --> 00:13:39,745 Oh, no. So how are you? 355 00:13:39,785 --> 00:13:41,625 How are you doing? It's been bloody yonks. 356 00:13:41,665 --> 00:13:42,865 How's Dave? 357 00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:44,305 It is Dave, isn't it? 358 00:13:44,345 --> 00:13:46,105 No, it's David. Right. 359 00:13:47,424 --> 00:13:50,584 How is he? He's amazing, thank you. Just so busy. Ah. 360 00:13:50,624 --> 00:13:53,184 Yeah, he was made senior consultant a few months ago. 361 00:13:53,224 --> 00:13:55,304 Wow! Was he? Yeah, thanks. Yeah, yeah. 362 00:13:55,344 --> 00:13:56,344 What does your... 363 00:13:56,384 --> 00:13:57,864 Are you married? Yeah. 364 00:13:57,904 --> 00:13:59,224 Yeah, I am. Yeah. 365 00:13:59,264 --> 00:14:02,103 My husband's a former olympic athlete, actually. 366 00:14:02,143 --> 00:14:03,703 Oh, wow! 367 00:14:03,743 --> 00:14:05,463 Yeah. Which... which event? 368 00:14:05,503 --> 00:14:07,503 Uh, outdoors. One of the track and field... 369 00:14:07,543 --> 00:14:09,023 Archery. It's archery, yeah. 370 00:14:09,063 --> 00:14:11,383 Kim chuckles how funny. 371 00:14:11,423 --> 00:14:13,023 Yeah. Yes. It's funny. 372 00:14:13,063 --> 00:14:14,542 Amy's such a good girl. 373 00:14:14,582 --> 00:14:15,982 You're going to love her. 374 00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:17,102 Hopefully, yeah. 375 00:14:17,142 --> 00:14:19,022 So, how are you? How are your children doing? 376 00:14:19,062 --> 00:14:21,062 Oh, so well, thank you. 377 00:14:21,102 --> 00:14:25,302 Yes, seb is a prefect. A perfect, I call him. Ah, perfect! Year 11. 378 00:14:25,342 --> 00:14:30,141 And constance is at Yale, majoring in political science. 379 00:14:30,181 --> 00:14:31,901 Ah! So... Yale. Yeah, thanks. 380 00:14:31,941 --> 00:14:34,301 Yeah, thanks. She's so driven. 381 00:14:34,341 --> 00:14:36,581 I mean, far too ambitious to stay in the UK 382 00:14:36,621 --> 00:14:40,380 and get any sort of office job or anything. Mm. Yeah. Yeah. 383 00:14:40,420 --> 00:14:43,260 What about you, Rachel? What are you doing? 384 00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:47,140 I heard that you'd given up being a careers adviser 385 00:14:47,180 --> 00:14:49,100 and you set up a cafe. 386 00:14:49,140 --> 00:14:51,900 Yeah, a few years back. That's right, yeah. 387 00:14:51,940 --> 00:14:53,379 Oh, well, good... good for you. 388 00:14:53,419 --> 00:14:57,099 Yeah, I mean, being a careers adviser must be horrendous and, 389 00:14:57,139 --> 00:15:00,339 you know, owning your own business, well, it's the best, isn't it? 390 00:15:00,379 --> 00:15:01,539 Hmm, no, definitely, yeah. 391 00:15:01,579 --> 00:15:04,379 Had to... had to close it, though, the cafe. 392 00:15:04,419 --> 00:15:06,378 Well, it's not for everyone, is it? 393 00:15:06,418 --> 00:15:09,338 So, what do you do now? Yeah, back in careers advice. Aww. 394 00:15:09,378 --> 00:15:12,378 Rightly or wrongly. Not really what I want, but... no. 395 00:15:12,418 --> 00:15:15,338 ..Probably need to talk to a careers adviser myself. Probably. 396 00:15:15,378 --> 00:15:16,538 Yeah, yeah. 397 00:15:16,578 --> 00:15:20,377 Maybe you should apply to be my assistant after all! 398 00:15:20,417 --> 00:15:21,857 Kim chuckles 399 00:15:21,897 --> 00:15:24,497 no, it is tough. It's tough. Yeah. 400 00:15:24,537 --> 00:15:27,657 I mean, in some ways, you know, we've been so lucky, 401 00:15:27,697 --> 00:15:31,777 but I sort of think you make your own luck, really, don't you? Hmm. 402 00:15:31,817 --> 00:15:34,576 Erm, I've actually got a meeting at 4:30, Amy, so... 403 00:15:34,616 --> 00:15:36,496 Oh, sorry. Can we? Do you mind? 404 00:15:41,776 --> 00:15:46,055 Well, she's what my mother would have called a classic cow. 405 00:15:47,215 --> 00:15:48,255 On phone: And what is it? 406 00:15:48,295 --> 00:15:50,975 Yeah, it's just a boring office job, 407 00:15:51,015 --> 00:15:54,095 assistant thing so... It'll be faeces. 408 00:15:54,135 --> 00:15:55,175 I don't even want it. 409 00:15:55,215 --> 00:15:57,535 Sorry, guys. Can we just, erm... Oh, whoa! Wow! 410 00:15:57,575 --> 00:15:59,294 Sorry, my dad's wearing lycra. 411 00:15:59,334 --> 00:16:00,574 Sam: Oh, my god. 412 00:16:00,614 --> 00:16:02,134 On phone: Oh, please let me see! 413 00:16:02,174 --> 00:16:04,134 Yeah, no. No, no-one should see this. 414 00:16:04,174 --> 00:16:05,870 Ok, Amy, can you put your phone down, please? 415 00:16:05,894 --> 00:16:07,294 What? Yes, please, can you? 416 00:16:07,334 --> 00:16:09,494 We need to talk about something. 417 00:16:09,534 --> 00:16:10,574 Yeah. All of us. 418 00:16:10,614 --> 00:16:12,853 Ok, better go. I think my parents are getting divorced. 419 00:16:12,893 --> 00:16:15,093 No. No, we're not. No way. We're not getting divorced. 420 00:16:15,133 --> 00:16:17,613 Oh, great - more Christmas presents! 421 00:16:17,653 --> 00:16:20,053 Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Ah, very good, Maya. Take care, take care. 422 00:16:20,093 --> 00:16:23,253 Ok, bye. Bye. Can you put the camera down, please, Sam? 423 00:16:23,293 --> 00:16:25,052 All right. Come on, Sam. 424 00:16:25,092 --> 00:16:27,372 Ok. Take a seat, Sam. All right. 425 00:16:28,452 --> 00:16:29,772 Ok, so... 426 00:16:29,812 --> 00:16:31,892 Yeah, why are you wearing lycra, though? 427 00:16:31,932 --> 00:16:33,292 Huh? 428 00:16:33,332 --> 00:16:35,572 Oh, I'm going out cycling with Robin. Yeah. 429 00:16:35,612 --> 00:16:38,251 It's just to sort of make me more aerodynamic. 430 00:16:38,291 --> 00:16:41,171 You? You may be the least aerodynamic person in the world. 431 00:16:41,211 --> 00:16:42,811 Have you been using drugs? 432 00:16:42,851 --> 00:16:44,171 Hmm. What? 433 00:16:46,011 --> 00:16:48,531 No. Where the hell has that come from? 434 00:16:48,571 --> 00:16:51,970 I just found it, ok? Before you say anything, I wasn't looking. 435 00:16:52,010 --> 00:16:54,130 I just found it. Found what? 436 00:16:54,170 --> 00:16:57,090 Drugs... ruin... lives. 437 00:16:58,850 --> 00:17:01,450 Do you understand me? Yeah, there's certainly no point applying 438 00:17:01,490 --> 00:17:03,370 for a job if you're an addict, Amy. 439 00:17:03,410 --> 00:17:04,449 Amy scoffs 440 00:17:04,489 --> 00:17:06,209 you know, drugs will take y-y-your... 441 00:17:06,249 --> 00:17:09,849 ..Your money, your time... teeth. ..Your energy. What? 442 00:17:09,889 --> 00:17:16,569 Even a bit of puff can lead to blow and then it's down the k-hole. 443 00:17:16,609 --> 00:17:19,208 Before you know it, you're smoking the dragon. 444 00:17:19,248 --> 00:17:21,008 Dragon? If that's... It's heroin, isn't it? 445 00:17:21,048 --> 00:17:22,728 I'm not taking drugs, mum. 446 00:17:22,768 --> 00:17:26,328 Oh, just... don't lie to us, Amy, please. Ugh. 447 00:17:26,368 --> 00:17:29,328 I could be banned for life by the international olympic committee 448 00:17:29,368 --> 00:17:30,807 for even having it in the house. 449 00:17:30,847 --> 00:17:33,887 Yeah, but you don't compete any more. If I was still competing. 450 00:17:33,927 --> 00:17:37,247 I found it in your coat, in the inside pocket, ok? 451 00:17:37,287 --> 00:17:39,167 Yeah, that's... that's not mine. 452 00:17:39,207 --> 00:17:40,807 Oh, come off it. 453 00:17:40,847 --> 00:17:41,847 Please. 454 00:17:41,887 --> 00:17:44,726 Well, it's your old coat, mum. 455 00:17:44,766 --> 00:17:46,806 I've just been borrowing it. 456 00:17:46,846 --> 00:17:48,966 I didn't even know it had an inside pocket. 457 00:17:52,206 --> 00:17:53,526 Is it your coat? 458 00:17:53,566 --> 00:17:55,126 Well, yeah, originally... 459 00:17:55,166 --> 00:17:58,245 ..But what are we saying, that I put it there in the '90s 460 00:17:58,285 --> 00:18:00,245 and then I forgot all about it? 461 00:18:00,285 --> 00:18:01,525 Because that's... 462 00:18:01,565 --> 00:18:02,725 I mean, that's... 463 00:18:06,365 --> 00:18:07,725 Yeah... 464 00:18:07,765 --> 00:18:09,765 I don't even touch drugs. They're for losers. 465 00:18:09,805 --> 00:18:11,020 Well, they're... yes, they are. 466 00:18:11,044 --> 00:18:12,484 Hmm, yeah... it's just hash. 467 00:18:12,524 --> 00:18:14,564 It's not even that's strong. But it's disgusting. 468 00:18:14,604 --> 00:18:17,204 Well, you know, if taken carefully with friends, 469 00:18:17,244 --> 00:18:19,564 hash can be really quite fun, actually, but I get your... 470 00:18:19,604 --> 00:18:22,604 Wait, sorry - are you warning us off drugs or suggesting we take them? 471 00:18:22,644 --> 00:18:26,523 Yeah. The message. Yes, I'm saying... 472 00:18:26,563 --> 00:18:28,923 Yeah, let's throw it out. 473 00:18:28,963 --> 00:18:30,899 It's probably gone off anyway. It's been there that long. 474 00:18:30,923 --> 00:18:32,339 It's wrapped in clingfilm, though... 475 00:18:32,363 --> 00:18:33,363 It must have gone off. 476 00:18:33,403 --> 00:18:34,643 Yeah, yeah. We could Google it. 477 00:18:34,683 --> 00:18:35,803 No! No. Don't Google it. 478 00:18:35,843 --> 00:18:36,842 No. Heavens, no. No. 479 00:18:36,882 --> 00:18:38,642 I could be arrested. 480 00:18:38,682 --> 00:18:39,682 She inhales 481 00:18:39,722 --> 00:18:41,602 doorbell rings oh, good. That's Robin. 482 00:18:41,642 --> 00:18:46,322 Ok, Sam, I need you to come and film some action footage for the channel. 483 00:18:46,362 --> 00:18:47,402 Just say no! 484 00:18:47,442 --> 00:18:49,721 Heavy metal music 485 00:18:49,761 --> 00:18:50,801 yeah! 486 00:18:54,321 --> 00:18:57,921 Paul4archery! 487 00:18:57,961 --> 00:19:02,041 Hi! This is Paul jessop from paul4archery. 488 00:19:02,081 --> 00:19:03,960 Please do subscribe below. 489 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:09,440 Now, today I'm working on my full-body fitness with some cycling. 490 00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:13,320 If archery's all about the arms and the chest, then cycling 491 00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:16,879 is a great way to fill in those fitness gaps and spend some time 492 00:19:16,919 --> 00:19:19,799 with our old friends, the legs. 493 00:19:19,839 --> 00:19:21,359 Let's do this. 494 00:19:21,399 --> 00:19:23,039 All right, dad. Got it. 495 00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:24,079 Paul gasps 496 00:19:24,119 --> 00:19:26,639 laughter you all right, paolo? 497 00:19:26,679 --> 00:19:29,038 The saddle. It's the saddle. 498 00:19:29,078 --> 00:19:30,998 It's really, er... 499 00:19:31,038 --> 00:19:32,198 I'm compromising, yeah? 500 00:19:32,238 --> 00:19:33,798 I think I'm getting a callus. 501 00:19:33,838 --> 00:19:34,958 Yeah, that will happen. 502 00:19:34,998 --> 00:19:37,798 My arse is basically one big callus now, to be honest. 503 00:19:37,838 --> 00:19:40,158 Oh, the thighs as well. My thighs are on fire. 504 00:19:40,198 --> 00:19:41,198 Yeah. Mm. Yeah. 505 00:19:41,238 --> 00:19:45,077 Argh. Tell you what, you should join us for the old ampthill-bedford loop 506 00:19:45,117 --> 00:19:46,757 we're doing on Sunday morning. Steady on. 507 00:19:46,797 --> 00:19:48,693 That'll certainly toughen up the old buns, paolo. 508 00:19:48,717 --> 00:19:50,813 I don't think he's quite ready for that, is he? Look at him. 509 00:19:50,837 --> 00:19:52,277 What? I'm ready, boy. 510 00:19:52,317 --> 00:19:53,677 I was born ready. 511 00:19:53,717 --> 00:19:54,917 Oh! Watch your feet. 512 00:19:57,436 --> 00:19:58,476 Don't tell Rachel. 513 00:19:58,516 --> 00:20:00,396 Yeah, so, er... 514 00:20:00,436 --> 00:20:01,756 Heh, how long is that? 515 00:20:01,796 --> 00:20:02,956 What are we talking? 516 00:20:02,996 --> 00:20:04,796 It's only a... I don't know, 45k or something? 517 00:20:04,836 --> 00:20:05,836 Yeah, it's a shorty. 518 00:20:05,876 --> 00:20:08,076 I'm down. Let's do it. 519 00:20:08,116 --> 00:20:10,035 All right. Sweet. 520 00:20:10,075 --> 00:20:13,035 Sam: God, why is it so heavy? 521 00:20:13,075 --> 00:20:14,795 Have you packed an anvil or something? 522 00:20:14,835 --> 00:20:17,235 No, no. Just a few essentials. 523 00:20:17,275 --> 00:20:21,434 Jigsaw, me three Jack reachers, strepsils, me bins. 524 00:20:21,474 --> 00:20:22,834 That kind of thing. 525 00:20:22,874 --> 00:20:24,434 "Bins" as in binoculars? 526 00:20:24,474 --> 00:20:26,554 Yeah. You'll not be doing any bird-watching, sue, 527 00:20:26,594 --> 00:20:27,594 you'll be in hospital. 528 00:20:27,634 --> 00:20:30,034 Yeah, but I can ask for a window bed. 529 00:20:30,074 --> 00:20:32,234 No, that's not something you can do. 530 00:20:32,274 --> 00:20:33,994 Anyway, you'll be in and out. 531 00:20:34,034 --> 00:20:36,713 You're having a hip replacement, not going on a cruise. 532 00:20:36,753 --> 00:20:38,433 Well, you never know, do you? 533 00:20:38,473 --> 00:20:40,673 I've made a will just in case. 534 00:20:40,713 --> 00:20:41,753 Oh, can I have the car? 535 00:20:41,793 --> 00:20:43,433 No! I want the car! 536 00:20:43,473 --> 00:20:44,673 Granny, I should get the car. 537 00:20:44,713 --> 00:20:46,553 No-one's having the car. 538 00:20:46,593 --> 00:20:48,872 She's going to be absolutely fine. 539 00:20:48,912 --> 00:20:52,592 Amy, get a job and you'll be able to buy your own car. 540 00:20:52,632 --> 00:20:54,152 Ugh. Thanks for helping me. 541 00:20:54,192 --> 00:20:55,512 Engine revs 542 00:20:55,552 --> 00:20:56,832 oh, my god! 543 00:20:56,872 --> 00:20:57,952 Horn blares 544 00:20:57,992 --> 00:20:59,608 man down, man down! Everything's going to be ok. 545 00:20:59,632 --> 00:21:00,871 Let's get this door open! 546 00:21:00,911 --> 00:21:02,191 What do you mean, "man down"? 547 00:21:02,231 --> 00:21:03,911 It's going to be ok, mate. Oh, my god! 548 00:21:03,951 --> 00:21:06,111 Don't slide him! What's happened? 549 00:21:06,151 --> 00:21:07,311 Paul yelps 550 00:21:07,351 --> 00:21:09,311 sue: Oh, no! Oh, me lovely Paul! 551 00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:10,951 Everything's going to be ok. 552 00:21:10,991 --> 00:21:12,847 It all got a bit much for paolo and he sort of seized up, 553 00:21:12,871 --> 00:21:14,510 didn't he, babe? 554 00:21:14,550 --> 00:21:17,390 Yeah, and he's got a bit of a bum bleed going on and all. 555 00:21:17,430 --> 00:21:20,550 Thankfully, though, my seats are leatherette so I can 556 00:21:20,590 --> 00:21:21,750 just wipe 'em down. 557 00:21:21,790 --> 00:21:23,190 Oh, are you all right, Paul? 558 00:21:23,230 --> 00:21:25,990 Yeah, yeah, I'm ok. I just took on too much, that's all. 559 00:21:26,030 --> 00:21:27,509 His eyes were bigger than his legs. 560 00:21:27,549 --> 00:21:28,549 And his arse, to be fair! 561 00:21:28,589 --> 00:21:30,765 I could do with some savlon, though. Has anyone got any savlon? 562 00:21:30,789 --> 00:21:33,229 Oh, savlon. I've got savlon. Sammy, in me suitcase, 563 00:21:33,269 --> 00:21:34,469 I've got a big tub of it. 564 00:21:34,509 --> 00:21:35,605 What do you think it was, then? 565 00:21:35,629 --> 00:21:38,149 Well, yeah, it was an incredibly long route, Rachel. 566 00:21:38,189 --> 00:21:40,268 It's 45k. You stopped at 11, mate. 567 00:21:40,308 --> 00:21:41,508 It'll be friction. 568 00:21:41,548 --> 00:21:43,908 You know, some kind of saddle sore on the buns. 569 00:21:43,948 --> 00:21:46,228 Sue: No, it'll be piles. I know it. 570 00:21:46,268 --> 00:21:47,788 Huh? Yeah. Piles? Yeah. 571 00:21:47,828 --> 00:21:50,188 What? Let me see. No, don't... It can't be, can it? Huh? 572 00:21:50,228 --> 00:21:53,827 Oh, yeah, definitely piles. I can see through the lycra. 573 00:21:53,867 --> 00:21:55,707 I can see them. Really? 574 00:21:55,747 --> 00:21:57,027 Hey, no! Stop it, stop it! 575 00:21:57,067 --> 00:21:59,627 Stop looking! Mum, please! Can I just get inside, please, ladies? 576 00:21:59,667 --> 00:22:02,083 Well, no, we were about to take sue to hospital for her hip operation, 577 00:22:02,107 --> 00:22:04,387 so... oh, god, mum, yeah, of course. I'm sorry, I... 578 00:22:04,427 --> 00:22:07,186 Yeah, well, I think you should come too, then they can check your 579 00:22:07,226 --> 00:22:08,906 undercarriage when they're doing my hip. 580 00:22:08,946 --> 00:22:11,466 I think that's smart. That's wise. I think that's wise. 581 00:22:11,506 --> 00:22:13,562 That's all right, I just need to stretch out my quads, 582 00:22:13,586 --> 00:22:14,602 you know, and it'll be fine. 583 00:22:14,626 --> 00:22:16,106 I mean, at least, I hope it's fine - 584 00:22:16,146 --> 00:22:18,362 I've got that sports day on Wednesday. Yeah, you'll be fine. 585 00:22:18,386 --> 00:22:19,482 You'll be fine. Just, can you... 586 00:22:19,506 --> 00:22:21,505 Sam, don't film him when he's like this. 587 00:22:22,945 --> 00:22:26,185 Dad's sports day's starting any second, mum. Yep, thanks, Sam. 588 00:22:28,785 --> 00:22:30,225 How'd it go? Didn't get it. Ok. 589 00:22:33,464 --> 00:22:34,664 Oh, ok, quick. 590 00:22:34,704 --> 00:22:35,904 It's already started. 591 00:22:35,944 --> 00:22:38,464 Ok, and now, handing out the prizes themselves, 592 00:22:38,504 --> 00:22:43,264 I'd like you all to welcome a real local sporting hero, an olympian 593 00:22:43,304 --> 00:22:49,303 who competed for Great Britain in the 2004 olympic games in archery. 594 00:22:49,343 --> 00:22:53,503 He is the greatest athlete that brickhill park school has ever 595 00:22:53,543 --> 00:22:56,303 produced, according to his website. 596 00:22:56,343 --> 00:22:58,663 Please give it up for, er... 597 00:22:58,703 --> 00:23:00,542 ..Paul jessop! 598 00:23:00,582 --> 00:23:02,662 Applause yes! 599 00:23:04,022 --> 00:23:05,142 Woo! 600 00:23:06,822 --> 00:23:07,902 Paul groans 601 00:23:07,942 --> 00:23:09,862 just keep on moving, keep on moving... 602 00:23:09,902 --> 00:23:11,862 Paul whimpers 603 00:23:11,902 --> 00:23:13,101 yep... 604 00:23:17,021 --> 00:23:20,821 He groans and whimpers 605 00:23:23,141 --> 00:23:24,341 he farts 606 00:23:24,381 --> 00:23:25,500 oh, my god. 607 00:23:26,500 --> 00:23:28,100 I'm cool. Applause 608 00:23:28,140 --> 00:23:29,980 I'm cool, I'm cool. 609 00:23:30,020 --> 00:23:32,020 I'm cool, I'm cool, I'm cool. 610 00:23:32,060 --> 00:23:33,100 I'm cool. 611 00:23:35,100 --> 00:23:36,260 He yelps 612 00:23:36,300 --> 00:23:37,340 Jesus. 613 00:23:39,459 --> 00:23:40,499 Thank you. 614 00:23:42,139 --> 00:23:43,179 Weakly: Thank you. 615 00:23:45,699 --> 00:23:48,139 As an elite-level sportsman... 616 00:23:51,019 --> 00:23:54,858 Straining: I need to keep my mind and body in tiptop shape. 617 00:23:54,898 --> 00:23:56,738 Oh, my god, I can't watch. 618 00:23:56,778 --> 00:23:58,138 I'm going to find the loo. 619 00:23:58,178 --> 00:24:03,138 My new tube... my new YouTube channel, paul4archery... 620 00:24:03,178 --> 00:24:06,017 He stutters 621 00:24:06,057 --> 00:24:07,697 a 4 for the word "for". 622 00:24:09,697 --> 00:24:13,737 ..Is a one-stop shop to hone both your interest in archery 623 00:24:13,777 --> 00:24:17,217 and your overall bodily fitnessss... 624 00:24:18,336 --> 00:24:22,136 ..With my regular instructional and inspirational videos. 625 00:24:22,176 --> 00:24:24,176 I'm going to have to sit down, sir. 626 00:24:24,216 --> 00:24:25,896 I'm so, so sorry, everyone. 627 00:24:25,936 --> 00:24:27,896 Robin, my bag. Yeah. 628 00:24:27,936 --> 00:24:29,736 Let's get on the bag. 629 00:24:29,776 --> 00:24:31,935 Paul grunts ok. 630 00:24:31,975 --> 00:24:34,735 Oh, no. That looks good. Not the bow. 631 00:24:34,775 --> 00:24:36,375 Er, thank you, Paul. 632 00:24:36,415 --> 00:24:37,935 Thank you, everyone. 633 00:24:37,975 --> 00:24:41,815 Ok, so the first award is for the 1,500 metres, 634 00:24:41,855 --> 00:24:45,254 which was won by Sebastian sinclair-hall! 635 00:24:45,294 --> 00:24:46,334 Woo! Yeah? 636 00:24:48,054 --> 00:24:49,854 He's also won 800 metres. 637 00:24:49,894 --> 00:24:53,014 Aww. Well done, darling! 638 00:24:53,054 --> 00:24:54,094 Woo! 639 00:24:55,934 --> 00:24:56,974 Woo! 640 00:24:59,613 --> 00:25:01,773 Well done, darling. 641 00:25:01,813 --> 00:25:04,493 Big sort of meeting you had to get to, was it, yeah? Oh! 642 00:25:04,533 --> 00:25:06,053 Hello again. Yeah. 643 00:25:06,093 --> 00:25:09,173 No, I just wanted to see sebby collect his award. Oh. 644 00:25:09,213 --> 00:25:10,852 We're a very supportive family. 645 00:25:12,212 --> 00:25:17,612 That's your, erm, olympian husband, is it? Up there on the bean bag? 646 00:25:17,652 --> 00:25:19,772 Er... uh-huh. 647 00:25:19,812 --> 00:25:23,332 You know, Kim, I get that we might not have been the best of friends 648 00:25:23,372 --> 00:25:26,611 at school, but... We weren't friends at all, Rachel. 649 00:25:26,651 --> 00:25:28,891 You used to call me Kim shit-hair. 650 00:25:28,931 --> 00:25:30,291 No... no... 651 00:25:31,491 --> 00:25:32,971 That was a few of us. 652 00:25:33,011 --> 00:25:35,851 And your haircut at the time was a bit... 653 00:25:35,891 --> 00:25:39,130 We hung out, though, at lunch. 654 00:25:39,170 --> 00:25:42,450 Not really. No. No, you were usually off getting stoned. 655 00:25:43,810 --> 00:25:47,050 Well, even so, that's no reason to take it out on my daughter. 656 00:25:47,090 --> 00:25:48,530 Sorry, er, what do you mean? 657 00:25:48,570 --> 00:25:49,849 It's a basic office job. 658 00:25:49,889 --> 00:25:51,025 She could do it in her sleep. 659 00:25:51,049 --> 00:25:52,529 Oh, it wasn't because of you. 660 00:25:52,569 --> 00:25:54,169 No, I didn't give her the job 661 00:25:54,209 --> 00:25:57,769 because she said it sounded "very boring" and that she didn't want 662 00:25:57,809 --> 00:26:00,449 to work for a - and I quote - "massive bitch". 663 00:26:00,489 --> 00:26:04,608 So, as a career adviser, you might want to work on her attitude. 664 00:26:04,648 --> 00:26:07,048 There you go. Well done. Applause 665 00:26:07,088 --> 00:26:11,248 sebby, well done! Just so proud. We're both so proud of you. 666 00:26:11,288 --> 00:26:15,048 Ok, moving on to something won by someone else, 667 00:26:15,088 --> 00:26:19,727 er, and this award going to the 600 metres swimming... 668 00:26:22,727 --> 00:26:26,007 A few people questioning dad's athletic prowess in the toilets. 669 00:26:28,407 --> 00:26:31,086 What? What is it? 670 00:26:31,126 --> 00:26:32,806 I'm very proud of you, you know. 671 00:26:34,406 --> 00:26:35,606 What for? 672 00:26:35,646 --> 00:26:37,206 Just for who you are. 673 00:26:39,806 --> 00:26:40,966 Ok. 674 00:26:41,006 --> 00:26:42,086 Applause 675 00:26:47,325 --> 00:26:49,325 I'm never doing a fitness video ever again. 676 00:26:49,365 --> 00:26:51,885 Yeah. My body can't hack it. 677 00:26:51,925 --> 00:26:55,285 Yeah, well, I've got some good painkillers at home. 678 00:26:55,325 --> 00:26:57,164 Great. Mm. 679 00:26:57,204 --> 00:26:58,284 He sighs 680 00:26:58,324 --> 00:27:01,044 come on, let's get out of here as fast as we can. 681 00:27:09,243 --> 00:27:10,283 Agh... 682 00:27:11,443 --> 00:27:12,683 Mum! 683 00:27:14,043 --> 00:27:16,963 What's that music? It's, like, 2am. 684 00:27:20,883 --> 00:27:22,562 What the hell are they doing? 685 00:27:22,602 --> 00:27:24,002 ♪ I'll take you higher 686 00:27:24,042 --> 00:27:25,882 ♪ I'll take you higher I'll take you higher 687 00:27:25,922 --> 00:27:27,642 ♪ I'll take you higher and higher... ♪ 688 00:27:27,682 --> 00:27:29,282 Erm... hello. 689 00:27:30,442 --> 00:27:31,642 You're up. 690 00:27:31,682 --> 00:27:33,682 Are you smoking a joint out here? 691 00:27:33,722 --> 00:27:35,801 What? No! 692 00:27:35,841 --> 00:27:37,921 Just a small one. 693 00:27:37,961 --> 00:27:40,601 They giggle 694 00:27:40,641 --> 00:27:42,641 ah, you know. Sit down. Join us. 695 00:27:42,681 --> 00:27:45,081 Join you? Are you serious? 696 00:27:45,121 --> 00:27:47,281 I've got school in the morning. 697 00:27:47,321 --> 00:27:49,240 Oh, yeah, yeah. 698 00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:52,160 Amy, then? No, no, definitely not. 699 00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:55,200 Unless you want social services to take us away. 700 00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:57,200 Well, might not be bad, actually. 701 00:27:57,240 --> 00:27:59,440 They laugh 702 00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:02,319 Paul groans 703 00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:04,519 oh, no. Oh... are you ok? 704 00:28:04,559 --> 00:28:06,319 Oh, don't worry, he always does this. 705 00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:08,599 He's, er... he's pulling a whitey. 706 00:28:08,639 --> 00:28:10,359 Huh? No, it's off. 707 00:28:10,399 --> 00:28:11,879 It's... it's definitely gone off. 708 00:28:11,919 --> 00:28:14,039 Yeah, right. Uh-huh. 709 00:28:15,438 --> 00:28:16,478 Come on. 710 00:28:17,518 --> 00:28:18,518 All right, fine. 711 00:28:18,558 --> 00:28:20,838 It's not like I've got work to go to. 712 00:28:20,878 --> 00:28:21,998 Atta girl. 713 00:28:22,038 --> 00:28:23,318 I'm going to bed. 714 00:28:23,358 --> 00:28:24,998 Night, losers. 715 00:28:25,038 --> 00:28:27,198 Goodnight. Love you. 716 00:28:27,238 --> 00:28:28,277 Yeah. 717 00:28:30,757 --> 00:28:32,397 You all right, Paul? 718 00:28:32,437 --> 00:28:33,837 Yeah, he's gone. 719 00:28:33,877 --> 00:28:35,117 Amy giggles 720 00:28:36,677 --> 00:28:37,717 oh, god. 721 00:28:40,077 --> 00:28:43,676 ♪ Come and feel my energy 722 00:28:43,716 --> 00:28:47,036 ♪ let's be as one in soul and mind 723 00:28:47,076 --> 00:28:50,436 ♪ I'll fill your world with ecstasy 724 00:28:50,476 --> 00:28:57,155 ♪ touch all your dreams deep down inside 725 00:28:57,195 --> 00:29:00,235 ♪ let me be your fantasy... ♪ 726 00:29:00,285 --> 00:29:04,835 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 54270

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