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1
00:00:02,303 --> 00:00:05,206
"Cheers"Is filmed before
A live studio audience.
2
00:00:05,206 --> 00:00:08,776
Guinness stout,
Gin and tonic.
3
00:00:08,776 --> 00:00:10,244
Something
The matter, carla?
4
00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:12,012
Yeah, something's
The matter.
5
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:13,781
My life's the pits.
6
00:00:13,781 --> 00:00:15,316
Seems like good
Things happen
7
00:00:15,316 --> 00:00:17,185
To everybody
Except me, you know?
8
00:00:17,185 --> 00:00:19,253
Norm has a new job.
9
00:00:19,253 --> 00:00:20,954
Frasier actually
Seems happy
10
00:00:20,954 --> 00:00:23,924
Since he met his
Creepy girlfriend.
11
00:00:23,924 --> 00:00:28,796
And sam has given up
Women and decided
To marry diane.
12
00:00:28,796 --> 00:00:30,498
What have I got?
Zip.
13
00:00:30,498 --> 00:00:32,266
Woody, I mean,
How do you keep
14
00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:33,667
Such a sunny
Disposition
15
00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:37,105
In this rotten,
Stink-infested
World?
16
00:00:37,105 --> 00:00:39,773
You mean what do I do
When I see mr. Blues
17
00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:41,575
Peeking around the corner?
18
00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:43,577
Oh, my god.
19
00:00:43,577 --> 00:00:46,880
You even have
A cute name
For depression.
20
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:49,383
Well, I just close my eyes,
21
00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:51,119
And I think
A happy thought.
22
00:00:51,119 --> 00:00:52,786
Here. I'll show you.
23
00:01:02,630 --> 00:01:04,232
What was your thought?
24
00:01:04,232 --> 00:01:06,066
I'm glad I'm not you.
25
00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:17,678
* making your way
In the world today *
26
00:01:17,678 --> 00:01:20,681
* takes everything
You've got *
27
00:01:20,681 --> 00:01:23,517
* taking a break
From all your worries *
28
00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:27,121
* sure would help a lot *
29
00:01:27,121 --> 00:01:30,424
* wouldn't you like
To get away? *
30
00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:34,695
* sometimes
You want to go *
31
00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:38,632
* where everybody
Knows your name *
32
00:01:40,268 --> 00:01:44,705
* and they're always
Glad you came *
33
00:01:44,705 --> 00:01:47,275
* you want to be
Where you can see *
34
00:01:47,275 --> 00:01:49,810
* our troubles
Are all the same *
35
00:01:49,810 --> 00:01:55,216
* you want to be where
Everybody knows your name *
36
00:01:55,216 --> 00:01:57,551
* you want to go
Where people know *
37
00:01:57,551 --> 00:02:00,354
* people are all the same *
38
00:02:00,354 --> 00:02:05,226
* you want to go where
Everybody knows your name *
39
00:02:22,176 --> 00:02:24,912
Hey,mr. Peterson,
I'm working on
40
00:02:24,912 --> 00:02:27,215
This month's issue of
The cheers newsletter,
41
00:02:27,215 --> 00:02:30,184
And I wondered
What's new...With you?
42
00:02:30,184 --> 00:02:32,085
Nothing, really, woody.
43
00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:33,621
Well, are you sure?
44
00:02:33,621 --> 00:02:35,956
Uh, I don't know.
Check last month.
45
00:02:35,956 --> 00:02:37,691
What was I up to then?
46
00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:39,960
Let's see,
Norm peterson--
47
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,329
"Nothing."
48
00:02:41,329 --> 00:02:45,032
Hmm. Well, I guess
It's not new, then, eh?
49
00:02:45,032 --> 00:02:47,935
How about you,
Dr. Crane?
50
00:02:47,935 --> 00:02:49,337
What's new in my life?
51
00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:51,939
Well, it not easily
Put into words, wood.
52
00:02:51,939 --> 00:02:53,173
Perhaps it has
Something to do
53
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,308
With my relationship
With lilith.
54
00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:56,777
And perhaps it's just
A maturity
55
00:02:56,777 --> 00:02:58,212
That comes with age.
56
00:02:58,212 --> 00:03:00,214
All I know is that...
57
00:03:00,214 --> 00:03:02,550
I feel I finally
Know who I am,
58
00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:04,418
And I'm happy
With that person.
59
00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:05,953
Does that answer
Your question?
60
00:03:05,953 --> 00:03:07,455
Sure does.
61
00:03:07,455 --> 00:03:10,258
"Dr. Crane: nothing."
62
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,895
Sam, great news!
63
00:03:14,895 --> 00:03:16,897
I found a house!
64
00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:18,098
Hey! Turn it in.
65
00:03:18,098 --> 00:03:20,033
Maybe you'll get
A reward.
66
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:23,604
No, you goose.
I found our house.
67
00:03:23,604 --> 00:03:25,239
I was driving to work today,
68
00:03:25,239 --> 00:03:26,340
And as luck would have it,
69
00:03:26,340 --> 00:03:28,242
There was an 8-car smashup.
70
00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:32,480
That didn't
Come out right.
71
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:35,483
What I meant was
I was forced to take
An alternate route
72
00:03:35,483 --> 00:03:38,986
And it sent me
Right past
The perfect house.
73
00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:41,054
Oh, sam,
You should see it.
74
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,791
3 bedrooms,
2 1/2 baths,
75
00:03:43,791 --> 00:03:45,158
A formal dining room,
76
00:03:45,158 --> 00:03:46,894
A huge fireplace
In the living room--
77
00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:47,895
Excuse me for interrupting,
78
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:49,330
But we're not looking
For a house.
79
00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:51,231
I know.
I already found it.
80
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:53,434
No, I mean that we agreed
81
00:03:53,434 --> 00:03:56,337
To live in my apartment
For a year first.
82
00:03:57,938 --> 00:03:59,206
Well, yes,
83
00:03:59,206 --> 00:04:00,641
That was
The original plan.
84
00:04:00,641 --> 00:04:03,977
But that was
Before I saw
Hardwood floors,
85
00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:05,413
Bay windows,
86
00:04:05,413 --> 00:04:07,615
Crown mouldings---
87
00:04:07,615 --> 00:04:09,483
So what's wrong
With my apartment?
88
00:04:09,483 --> 00:04:11,885
Well, granted,
This house
89
00:04:11,885 --> 00:04:17,157
Doesn't have your view
Of the exotic
Dancing academy,
90
00:04:17,157 --> 00:04:21,429
But I think you could
Learn to live in the
Shade of a stately elm.
91
00:04:21,429 --> 00:04:25,633
Uh, I hate to be
A buttinsky here,
92
00:04:25,633 --> 00:04:28,936
But this is
The absolute worst
Time to buy a house.
93
00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:30,904
Why's that?
Seller's market.
94
00:04:30,904 --> 00:04:33,707
Unless you run into that
Rare breed, you know,
The motivated seller.
95
00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:38,846
For a price, I can put you
In a sweet little 3-bed,
2-bath number.
96
00:04:38,846 --> 00:04:40,981
It's got fishnetting
Over the patio
97
00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:44,952
And a handmade
Lava-rock fire pit
In the back.
98
00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:47,355
Cliffie, that sounds
A little bit like
Your house.
99
00:04:47,355 --> 00:04:49,089
It is my house.
100
00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:51,158
Wait. You said your
Mother was going to
Live there
101
00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:52,560
Until the day she died.
102
00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:55,729
Well, she's clean,
And she doesn't eat much.
103
00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,432
Sam, please,
104
00:04:58,432 --> 00:05:00,334
Just come with me
And take a look at it.
105
00:05:00,334 --> 00:05:02,370
I'm not ready
To own a home.
106
00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:04,505
You got to work up
To that.
107
00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:06,707
Sammy's right.
It's a big
Responsibility.
108
00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:08,241
You've got lawns
To mow,
109
00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:09,710
You got plumbing to fix,
110
00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:11,011
You got gutters
To clean.
111
00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:12,279
And every
Couple of years,
112
00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:14,615
You got to paint
The entire thing
From top to bottom.
113
00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:16,684
Honestly, I don't
Know where vera
Gets the energy.
114
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:21,288
Norm, you should
Be ashamed of yourself.
115
00:05:21,288 --> 00:05:23,223
Yeah, I guess I should,
Shouldn't I?
116
00:05:23,223 --> 00:05:25,926
Well, thank god
I'm not, huh?
117
00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:28,629
Well, sam and I will
Split the chores
In our house.
118
00:05:28,629 --> 00:05:30,698
Would you just slow down.
We're not buying a house.
119
00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:31,532
I mean it.
120
00:05:31,532 --> 00:05:33,601
Sam, don't be
So hasty.
121
00:05:33,601 --> 00:05:35,035
This could be
The house for you.
122
00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:35,969
Does it have
A basement?
123
00:05:35,969 --> 00:05:38,372
Yes, it does.
A large one.
Great.
124
00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:40,374
You can convert it
Into a dungeon
125
00:05:40,374 --> 00:05:42,342
To keep diane in.
126
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,111
Then when you're
Done torturing her,
127
00:05:44,111 --> 00:05:46,514
You can bury
The body under
The cement floor,
128
00:05:46,514 --> 00:05:49,750
And cover it with
A ping-pong table.
129
00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:52,620
Well, maybe.
I don't know.
130
00:05:52,620 --> 00:05:54,021
Sam!
131
00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:55,889
Maybe you,
Not her.
132
00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:58,992
Will you stop stalling
And come with me, please?
133
00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:00,928
Give me one good reason
Why I should.
134
00:06:00,928 --> 00:06:04,297
Because we own it.
135
00:06:04,297 --> 00:06:07,100
That's a pretty
Good reason, sam.
136
00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:11,539
You bought a house
Without asking me?
137
00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:15,042
Well, I didn't
Exactly buy it.
138
00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:18,912
I put down the teeniest
Of refundable deposits.
139
00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:20,881
I don't believe this.
Now, sam,
140
00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,149
There was another
Couple there,
141
00:06:22,149 --> 00:06:24,485
And they were all ready
To make a bid on it.
142
00:06:24,485 --> 00:06:25,753
I had to move quickly.
143
00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:26,820
Talking about moving quickly,
144
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:28,355
You get into my office
Right now,
145
00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:30,658
And you call them and tell them
I want my deposit back.
146
00:06:30,658 --> 00:06:31,825
Ok, sam,
Whatever you say.
147
00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:33,461
But first I want
To call the decorator
148
00:06:33,461 --> 00:06:34,462
About ordering
The drapes.
149
00:06:34,462 --> 00:06:36,530
Well, make it quick.
150
00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:38,165
Well, I guess it's time
We started thinking
151
00:06:38,165 --> 00:06:39,199
About a housewarming gift.
152
00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:40,801
That's pathetic.
153
00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:42,302
You'd never catch
A women of mine
154
00:06:42,302 --> 00:06:43,971
Leading me around
By the nose.
155
00:06:43,971 --> 00:06:47,007
No, but you might catch her
Sunning herself on a rock.
156
00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:06,694
It's ours.
157
00:07:06,694 --> 00:07:09,196
Finally ours.
I can't believe it.
158
00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:11,532
Neither can I.
159
00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:13,734
Wow. You know,
Every time I come here,
160
00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:15,803
I like this place
More and more.
161
00:07:15,803 --> 00:07:16,904
Oh.
162
00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:19,840
Thank god you talked me
Into this. Oh!
163
00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:24,144
You don't think we spent
Too much money on it?
164
00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:25,112
Oh, absolutely.
165
00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:28,215
What the hell.
It's a great house.
166
00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:29,983
Yeah. And it's ours!
167
00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:30,851
Well, not quite yet.
168
00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:32,352
You know, I never
Feel at home
169
00:07:32,352 --> 00:07:35,122
Until I hang
This old baby up.
170
00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:37,090
Oh, god, sam.
171
00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:38,291
What?
172
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,360
Not where people
Can see it!
173
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:43,931
I've never understood
Your attitude about
This painting.
174
00:07:43,931 --> 00:07:45,465
I mean, it's a classic--
175
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:48,135
Dogs playing blackjack.
176
00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:58,045
I can never
Look at this
177
00:07:58,045 --> 00:08:00,648
Without cracking up.
178
00:08:00,648 --> 00:08:03,684
Well, that's the purpose
Of great art.
179
00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:05,352
You know, I think
You're missing
180
00:08:05,352 --> 00:08:06,654
The subtle
Humor here.
181
00:08:06,654 --> 00:08:09,089
See, this guy right
Here? He's cheating.
182
00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:15,128
Oh, I can hardly wait
Until I'm in the kitchen,
183
00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:17,998
Potholders in hand,
Cooking a nice big roast,
184
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,601
Calling out to you,
"Dinner's ready, honey."
185
00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:22,936
I'll be right there.
I'm in the workshop.
186
00:08:22,936 --> 00:08:24,738
The workshop?
187
00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:27,074
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
188
00:08:27,074 --> 00:08:28,075
My dad always had one.
189
00:08:28,075 --> 00:08:31,011
I used to go down there
All the time.
190
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:33,547
I used to love
The smell of sawdust.
191
00:08:33,547 --> 00:08:35,883
Wonder where I can
Buy some of that.
192
00:08:37,585 --> 00:08:39,953
Oh, sam,
I've wonderful plans
193
00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:41,622
For every room
In the entire house.
194
00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:44,524
That's funny.
So do I.
195
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:47,060
Why not start right here
In the living room?
196
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:49,496
These floors look
Like they could use
A little polishing.
197
00:08:49,496 --> 00:08:51,531
Oh, sam! Sam!
198
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:54,401
We really have to
Leave now, my dear.
199
00:08:54,401 --> 00:08:56,203
Yes, I guess
You're right.
200
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:58,071
Uh, hello. Hello.
201
00:08:58,071 --> 00:09:01,541
Oh. You must be
The new owners.
202
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,744
Yeah. I'm sam malone.
203
00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:05,145
How do you do?
204
00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:08,148
This is my fiancée
Diane chambers.
205
00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:09,549
Bert and lillian miller.
206
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,284
Hi.
Please to meet you.
207
00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:12,452
Oh, it's
A pleasure.
208
00:09:12,452 --> 00:09:14,487
The house
Is beautiful.
209
00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:16,156
Oh, yes.
210
00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:18,692
Of course we know
We're supposed to be
Out of here by now,
211
00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:22,295
But, well, we forgot
A few odds and ends.
212
00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:26,233
And, well,
We just wanted
To take a last look.
213
00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:27,668
Well, you know,
214
00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:29,870
When you've lived in
A house for 40 years,
215
00:09:29,870 --> 00:09:32,305
Taking that last step
Out the doorway--
216
00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:33,540
It's pretty hard.
217
00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:34,942
Of course.
218
00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:38,946
I confess, I touched liquor
This morning.
219
00:09:42,449 --> 00:09:45,518
That's all right,
My dove.
220
00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:48,255
But you look like
A fine couple.
221
00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:50,691
I'm glad the house
Is going to you.
222
00:09:50,691 --> 00:09:55,562
Oh, yeah. We plan to do
Great things in--with it.
223
00:09:55,562 --> 00:09:56,997
So many memories,
224
00:09:56,997 --> 00:09:59,633
Like when mikey climbed up
The bookshelves
225
00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:01,268
And hit his head
On the mantle.
226
00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:02,435
You remember?
227
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,304
Oh, we were
All so worried.
228
00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:08,909
And that's where little
Janie rehearsed her dance
For the school play.
229
00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:11,979
You know,
I studied ballet
As a child.
230
00:10:11,979 --> 00:10:13,513
I became quite
Experienced--
231
00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:16,650
Bertie junior
Took his first steps
232
00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:18,218
On this very spot
Right here,
233
00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:21,655
And that's where we always
Put our christmas tree.
234
00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:24,191
Every year.
235
00:10:24,191 --> 00:10:25,492
40 christmases.
236
00:10:25,492 --> 00:10:27,060
39.
237
00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:28,095
Hmm?
238
00:10:28,095 --> 00:10:29,629
Well, we didn't
Quite make it
239
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,264
To christmas
This year.
240
00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:32,766
Oh. Sure.
241
00:10:32,766 --> 00:10:36,403
You know, I think
We'll miss the christmases
242
00:10:36,403 --> 00:10:38,071
Most of all.
243
00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:39,707
I know, bert.
244
00:10:39,707 --> 00:10:42,710
The children and
The grandchildren.
245
00:10:42,710 --> 00:10:44,745
Ah, never mind.
246
00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:46,213
There, there.
247
00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:48,215
Out with the old...
248
00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:49,416
And in with the new.
249
00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:51,618
And we're just gonna
Get out of your way
250
00:10:51,618 --> 00:10:54,587
So that you two can
Share your lives.
251
00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:55,823
Well, good luck
To you.
252
00:10:55,823 --> 00:10:57,124
Can I help you with
Those boxes?
253
00:10:57,124 --> 00:10:59,760
We're just going
As far as the bus stop.
254
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:01,194
Ok. Ok.
255
00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:02,495
Have a nice day.
256
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:03,630
Thank you.
257
00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:05,933
Good-bye.
Good-bye.
258
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:10,570
Good-bye, house.
259
00:11:10,570 --> 00:11:13,707
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye now.
260
00:11:14,808 --> 00:11:17,577
Gee, what a sweet
Couple, huh?
261
00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:18,812
Let's see.
Where were we?
262
00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:20,280
Oh, yes, yes.
I think we were, uh,
263
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:21,882
Talking about
Polishing the floor.
264
00:11:21,882 --> 00:11:24,852
You want to wax,
Or shall we buff?
265
00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:29,990
I cannot live a single day
In this house!
266
00:11:31,658 --> 00:11:33,794
Oh, god.
267
00:11:48,275 --> 00:11:51,779
Come on. Come on.
It's all right.
268
00:11:51,779 --> 00:11:55,282
I mean it, sam.
I could never live here.
269
00:11:55,282 --> 00:11:57,384
Oh, don't say that.
Don't say that.
270
00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:59,619
Listen. Hey, I got
A surprise for you.
271
00:11:59,619 --> 00:12:01,855
Look, I took
The picture down.
272
00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:04,657
Sam, it has nothing
To do with the picture,
273
00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:07,160
Although
I do appreciate that.
274
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:10,964
This place belongs
To bert and lillian.
275
00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:14,201
It's alive
With their memories.
276
00:12:14,201 --> 00:12:15,735
Poor mikey.
277
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:18,271
Now that
Must have smarted.
278
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:19,739
Come on, come on.
279
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:20,841
We love this house.
280
00:12:20,841 --> 00:12:22,409
I know how you feel
Right now,
281
00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:25,112
But wait till we make
Some changes here.
282
00:12:25,112 --> 00:12:28,215
Look, we can knock out
This wall right here
283
00:12:28,215 --> 00:12:29,850
And make the whole
Room different.
284
00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:31,118
What the hell.
Look at that.
285
00:12:31,118 --> 00:12:32,953
They got writing
All over this wall.
286
00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:37,090
Oh, look.
Mikey at 1 year.
30 inches.
287
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:41,428
Bert junior at 2 years.
36 inches.
288
00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:45,132
How can you possibly think
Of tearing this down?
289
00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:48,401
Can't you see
This is a record
Of their lives?
290
00:12:48,401 --> 00:12:52,772
All I can see here
Is that little janie
Here was a moose.
291
00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:58,912
How would you like
That coming at you
In a tutu, huh?
292
00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:04,084
You have the sensitivity
Of a dung beetle.
293
00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:06,053
I'm just trying
To lighten the mood up.
294
00:13:06,053 --> 00:13:08,755
Well, I'm in not in the mood
For fun and games.
295
00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:09,957
Well--
296
00:13:09,957 --> 00:13:12,792
Happy housewarming!
297
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,561
No. Don't.
298
00:13:14,561 --> 00:13:17,064
This isn't our house.
We don't belong in it.
299
00:13:17,064 --> 00:13:18,899
I'll never live here,
300
00:13:18,899 --> 00:13:20,500
Not one day.
Not one minute.
301
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:22,135
Please leave. Please.
302
00:13:26,706 --> 00:13:29,376
You know, sammy,
A couple of years ago,
303
00:13:29,376 --> 00:13:30,911
This might have
Taken me by surprise,
304
00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:33,113
But now I just
Kind of roll with it.
305
00:13:35,248 --> 00:13:38,151
This is great!
306
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:41,754
I got the one where
They're on the train.
307
00:13:41,754 --> 00:13:43,656
Not now, woody.
308
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:46,293
[laughs]
309
00:13:46,293 --> 00:13:47,527
Look at that.
310
00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:48,461
I never
Noticed that.
311
00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:50,297
The bloodhound's
Doubling down.
312
00:13:50,297 --> 00:13:52,265
Look at that.
313
00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:54,567
[horn honks]
314
00:13:56,236 --> 00:13:58,471
I'm sorry about this,
You guys.
315
00:13:58,471 --> 00:14:00,240
It's a bad time.
316
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:02,375
[carla] wait till
The honeymoon!
317
00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:10,918
We're trespassers
Here, sam.
318
00:14:10,918 --> 00:14:13,686
The love and warmth
That fill these walls
319
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:14,922
Didn't come from us.
320
00:14:14,922 --> 00:14:16,389
We can change
The wallpaper,
321
00:14:16,389 --> 00:14:18,758
We can paint, we can
Put up new curtains,
322
00:14:18,758 --> 00:14:21,028
But the soul
Of this house
323
00:14:21,028 --> 00:14:24,064
Will still be those
Two sweet old people.
324
00:14:24,064 --> 00:14:25,798
I'd be afraid
To wash the dishes
325
00:14:25,798 --> 00:14:27,234
For fear I'd turn
The faucet on,
326
00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:28,835
And instead of
Water coming out,
327
00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:30,537
It would be
Lillian's tears.
328
00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:33,640
Oh, brother.
329
00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:36,343
I'll put
A purifier in.
330
00:14:39,913 --> 00:14:42,049
All houses have ghosts,
331
00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:45,052
Memories of people
Who lived there before.
332
00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:47,020
The only way you can
Get rid of them
333
00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:48,255
Is to start making
Your own memories.
334
00:14:48,255 --> 00:14:49,656
And the only way
We can do that
335
00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:53,360
Is if we move in here
And start living here.
336
00:14:56,063 --> 00:14:59,032
Maybe
You're right, sam.
337
00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:01,834
I guess I've been
Overreacting.
338
00:15:01,834 --> 00:15:03,570
Well, that's ok.
339
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:06,940
What do you say
We carry on this
Conversation naked?
340
00:15:08,608 --> 00:15:09,909
Do you think
341
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:13,246
I could ever make love
In this house?
342
00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:20,853
Afternoon, everybody.
343
00:15:20,853 --> 00:15:22,022
All: norm!
344
00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:23,823
Hey, mr. Peterson.
How's life?
345
00:15:23,823 --> 00:15:25,192
The plot's ok,
Woody,
346
00:15:25,192 --> 00:15:28,695
But it kind of falls
Apart at the end.
347
00:15:28,695 --> 00:15:29,829
Where's sammy
And diane?
348
00:15:29,829 --> 00:15:31,431
They're in the office
349
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:33,533
Trying to unload
"The nightmare on
Diane street."
350
00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:36,836
Well, they'll just have
To miss my big news.
351
00:15:36,836 --> 00:15:39,506
Woody, I want you to
Stop the presses on
That newsletter.
352
00:15:39,506 --> 00:15:42,809
You'll never guess
Who I saw in front of
My office today.
353
00:15:42,809 --> 00:15:43,810
Robert urich.
354
00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:44,978
[gasps]
355
00:15:44,978 --> 00:15:46,179
I want to tell you,
356
00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:47,280
He's just as
Nice a guy
357
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,715
Driving fast at
50 miles an hour
358
00:15:48,715 --> 00:15:51,084
As he looks
On that tv screen.
359
00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:53,320
Hey, woody.
Another round quick.
360
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:54,754
How's it going
In there?
361
00:15:54,754 --> 00:15:56,056
Great. The couple
In there
362
00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:57,490
Are crazier
About the house
Than we were.
363
00:15:57,490 --> 00:15:59,259
I have to admit,
I was a little ticked off
364
00:15:59,259 --> 00:16:01,028
When diane said she wanted
To sell the house.
365
00:16:01,028 --> 00:16:02,595
But as it turns out,
366
00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:04,431
I think we're gonna make--
That's good, woody--
367
00:16:04,431 --> 00:16:06,533
Make a nice little
Profit here.
368
00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:09,369
Are you sure I can't
Change your mind?
369
00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:13,673
I'm sorry.
That's my final decision.
370
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:22,315
You know,
I'm getting on in years,
371
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:25,352
And my hearing may not
Be what it used to be,
372
00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:27,487
But did you just queer
This whole deal?
373
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:30,057
I had to turn them down.
Why?
374
00:16:30,057 --> 00:16:32,492
Sam, those people were
Bereft of soul.
375
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:35,262
They had no intention
Of embracing that house.
376
00:16:35,262 --> 00:16:37,597
Their only desire
Was to live there.
377
00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:42,469
They wanted to
Live in the house
They just bought?
378
00:16:42,469 --> 00:16:47,074
My god! They must have
Been raised by wolves!
379
00:16:47,074 --> 00:16:48,308
They weren't the right
Kind of people
380
00:16:48,308 --> 00:16:50,277
To live in bert
And lillian's house.
381
00:16:50,277 --> 00:16:52,245
Oh...You know,
Look, that's it.
382
00:16:52,245 --> 00:16:53,446
That's it.
You know, I...
383
00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:55,014
We've always
Done things your way.
384
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,783
I have bent over backwards
To make you happy.
385
00:16:56,783 --> 00:16:59,419
I bought the ring you wanted.
The china you wanted.
386
00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:00,787
The crystal you wanted.
387
00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:02,989
I even agreed to have
To a duvet cover on my bed,
388
00:17:02,989 --> 00:17:05,892
I don't know what
A duvet is or what it's
Supposed to cover!
389
00:17:05,892 --> 00:17:09,462
When are we going to do
Something that I want to do?
390
00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:12,632
May I remind you
That we're going
To disneyworld
391
00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:14,101
For our honeymoon?
392
00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:17,437
Big deal. Who isn't?
393
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:22,275
Sam, every time
I look at that place,
394
00:17:22,275 --> 00:17:25,945
I can't help but think about
That poor old couple,
395
00:17:25,945 --> 00:17:28,115
Shambling away
From their house,
396
00:17:28,115 --> 00:17:31,551
Wishing they could spend
One last christmas there
397
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,052
With their family.
398
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,487
Well, then why not
Just give them
399
00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:36,489
One last christmas there
If that's what they want?
400
00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:38,425
But rid yourself
Of the guilt you feel
401
00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:40,827
By robbing them of the last
Few happy memories left them.
402
00:17:40,827 --> 00:17:43,796
That's the
Screwiest idea
I've ever heard.
403
00:17:43,796 --> 00:17:45,532
No, sam.
He's right.
404
00:17:45,532 --> 00:17:48,635
We'll call the millers
And all their children,
405
00:17:48,635 --> 00:17:50,570
And we'll plan
A christmas party!
406
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:53,706
Oh, sam, it'll make
The transition easier
For them and for me.
407
00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:55,308
What are we supposed to do
Until december?
408
00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:57,310
Bunk out with
Ma clavin?
409
00:17:57,310 --> 00:17:59,179
No, I mean
We'll do it now.
410
00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:02,215
This year, christmas
Comes next week.
411
00:18:02,215 --> 00:18:03,850
Huh? It'll be fun.
412
00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:06,953
Oh, gee, I hate it when they
Change holidays around
413
00:18:06,953 --> 00:18:09,156
Just to make
A three-day weekend.
414
00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:19,466
Who's ready for some
Delicious hot apple cider?
415
00:18:19,466 --> 00:18:21,201
Can I have mine
With ice?
416
00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:23,703
It's 80 degrees
Outside.
417
00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:25,672
Where's your
Christmas spirit, naomi?
418
00:18:25,672 --> 00:18:27,274
It melted.
419
00:18:28,341 --> 00:18:30,277
There's another
Present for you.
420
00:18:30,277 --> 00:18:31,844
Isn't that right,
Santa?
421
00:18:31,844 --> 00:18:35,047
I'm looking.
I'm looking.
I'm looking.
422
00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:36,683
Here it is.
Here it is.
423
00:18:36,683 --> 00:18:38,851
There you go, kid.
There you are.
424
00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:41,020
Oh, boy!
425
00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:42,322
What do you say,
Naomi?
426
00:18:42,322 --> 00:18:43,990
Thank you, santa.
427
00:18:43,990 --> 00:18:45,124
And what do you
Say, santa?
428
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:47,660
Mrs. Claus is going
To pay for this.
429
00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:51,998
Come here. How much longer
Do we have to do this?
430
00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:54,000
Oh, the children
Are loving it.
431
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,903
Can I at least
Take this beard off?
432
00:18:56,903 --> 00:18:58,705
No, no, no, no.
433
00:18:58,705 --> 00:19:01,208
You don't want to spoil
Their illusions.
434
00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:04,777
Don't you think the fact
That santa's here in mid-may
Sweating bullets
435
00:19:04,777 --> 00:19:07,146
Is making them a little
Suspicious already?
436
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,816
Yes, santa,
What a great idea.
437
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:12,652
Why don't you lead us all
In some christmas carols?
438
00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:16,088
Uh, maybe somebody else
Ought to do that.
439
00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:19,759
Uh, santa's got
A little summer cold
Going here.
440
00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:22,595
David is the musician
Of the family.
441
00:19:22,595 --> 00:19:24,130
Well...
442
00:19:24,130 --> 00:19:25,965
"Let it snow"
In "E" flat.
443
00:19:25,965 --> 00:19:27,900
[blows pitch pipe]
444
00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:31,838
* oh, the weather outside
Is frightful *
445
00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:34,807
* but the fire
Is so delightful *
446
00:19:34,807 --> 00:19:37,744
* and since we've
No place to go *
447
00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:40,280
* let it snow,
Let it snow, let it snow *
448
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:42,048
Look, we did it.
We did it.
449
00:19:42,048 --> 00:19:43,383
They're singing
Their carols.
450
00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:44,584
We've passed
Out the presents.
451
00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:46,185
Now can we put out
The stupid fire
452
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,554
And get the millers
Out of here, please?
453
00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:50,122
Oh, but sam, we haven't
Roasted the chestnuts.
454
00:19:50,122 --> 00:19:52,625
Guess again,
Sweetie.
455
00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:02,302
You know, that was
Great, kids.
456
00:20:02,302 --> 00:20:05,272
But I think perhaps
We ought to thank
457
00:20:05,272 --> 00:20:07,807
The kind and
Generous friends
458
00:20:07,807 --> 00:20:10,910
Who have let us make
This yuletide possible.
459
00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:12,912
Oh, no, no, no...
460
00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:14,481
You really don't--
461
00:20:14,481 --> 00:20:15,782
No, no. Not at all.
462
00:20:15,782 --> 00:20:19,286
Now, sam and diane
Have opened their home--
463
00:20:19,286 --> 00:20:22,154
It's their home now--
464
00:20:22,154 --> 00:20:23,523
So that we can enjoy
465
00:20:23,523 --> 00:20:27,159
One last christmas
Here together.
466
00:20:27,159 --> 00:20:28,728
Well, of course,
We've known
467
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:31,464
A lot of christmases
Around this hearth,
468
00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:33,700
But for you kids,
469
00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:36,669
This will be
The last one.
470
00:20:36,669 --> 00:20:39,939
And all you'll have
Is pictures
471
00:20:39,939 --> 00:20:42,409
Home movies,
And memories
472
00:20:42,409 --> 00:20:45,077
To fill the gap
Through their lives.
473
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:47,747
Oh, I hope the
Memories survive.
474
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:50,182
Say you'll remember,
Children.
475
00:20:50,182 --> 00:20:53,620
We'll all remember,
Grandma!
476
00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:56,323
And what about easters?
477
00:20:56,323 --> 00:20:58,625
Will you remember
The easters, too?
478
00:20:58,625 --> 00:21:01,694
I don't remember,
Grandpa.
479
00:21:01,694 --> 00:21:03,530
Oh...
480
00:21:03,530 --> 00:21:07,800
Please don't make
Grandma and grandpa
Leave, lady.
481
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,302
No, go.
482
00:21:09,302 --> 00:21:11,371
Oh! They don't
Have to.
483
00:21:11,371 --> 00:21:13,205
Listen, why don't you
Come over next week,
484
00:21:13,205 --> 00:21:17,777
And we'll have a big
Easter-egg hunt right here.
485
00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:19,879
We'll make it
An annual occasion.
486
00:21:19,879 --> 00:21:21,381
Yay!
Yay!
Yay!
487
00:21:21,381 --> 00:21:23,182
No! No! No!
488
00:21:23,182 --> 00:21:24,517
No! No! No!
489
00:21:24,517 --> 00:21:26,986
I am not putting on
A bunny suit for anybody!
490
00:21:26,986 --> 00:21:30,122
Now listen, we've done
Everything,
491
00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:32,725
More than everything
Anyone could possibly expect.
492
00:21:32,725 --> 00:21:34,761
We've got to draw
The line somewhere here.
493
00:21:34,761 --> 00:21:38,331
I mean,we can't arrange
Our lives just for you people.
494
00:21:38,331 --> 00:21:40,166
This is our house now.
495
00:21:40,166 --> 00:21:41,801
You can't
Have it anymore.
496
00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:45,071
Please, we need a chance
To start our own lives here.
497
00:21:45,071 --> 00:21:47,440
I mean, for god sakes,
We haven't even had a chance
498
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,208
To be been intimate
In our own home yet.
499
00:21:49,208 --> 00:21:51,778
What does
Santa mean, mommy?
500
00:21:51,778 --> 00:21:53,446
Sam!
501
00:21:53,446 --> 00:21:56,483
Mommy will
Explain it
Later, dear.
502
00:21:56,483 --> 00:21:58,184
Yeah, and
Somewhere else, mommy.
503
00:21:58,184 --> 00:22:00,119
Come on, everybody,
Please, out.
504
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:02,689
Ohh!
Ohh!
Ohh!
505
00:22:02,689 --> 00:22:04,924
Oh, no, no.
Now don't grumble.
506
00:22:04,924 --> 00:22:06,393
Santa is right.
507
00:22:06,393 --> 00:22:10,597
He may have been
A little rude about it,
508
00:22:10,597 --> 00:22:13,566
But it is true.
We have been imposing.
509
00:22:13,566 --> 00:22:15,968
So let's all go over
510
00:22:15,968 --> 00:22:18,270
To grandma and grandpa's
New condo
511
00:22:18,270 --> 00:22:20,407
And have christmas
There.
512
00:22:20,407 --> 00:22:21,774
Yay!
Yay!
Yay!
513
00:22:23,543 --> 00:22:25,912
* frosty the snowman *
514
00:22:25,912 --> 00:22:28,648
* was a jolly,
Happy soul *
515
00:22:28,648 --> 00:22:31,918
Bye-bye!
Happy holiday!
516
00:22:31,918 --> 00:22:33,586
Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
517
00:22:33,586 --> 00:22:35,422
There we go. Bye-bye.
518
00:22:35,422 --> 00:22:37,457
Thank you.
519
00:22:37,457 --> 00:22:39,058
What about
Our presents?
520
00:22:39,058 --> 00:22:40,827
We'll ship them to you.
521
00:22:44,464 --> 00:22:46,933
I can't believe what
You just did, sam.
522
00:22:46,933 --> 00:22:49,068
I'm not going
To apologize, diane.
523
00:22:49,068 --> 00:22:52,472
Suddenly
The house is ours.
524
00:22:52,472 --> 00:22:54,173
You mean that?
525
00:22:54,173 --> 00:22:55,942
You claimed it
For me.
526
00:22:55,942 --> 00:22:58,911
Just stood up and
Claimed it for me
527
00:22:58,911 --> 00:23:01,981
Like some animal
Out of the wild.
528
00:23:03,149 --> 00:23:05,652
Oh, sam.
529
00:23:05,652 --> 00:23:08,855
You're so sexy when
You're territorial.
530
00:23:08,855 --> 00:23:10,256
Well, uh...
531
00:23:10,256 --> 00:23:13,292
Anything special you want
From santa this year,
Little girl?
532
00:23:13,292 --> 00:23:16,228
Oh, santa...
533
00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:19,265
Well, I think that
Can be arranged.
534
00:23:19,265 --> 00:23:20,332
There you go.
535
00:23:20,332 --> 00:23:21,668
Where is that?
536
00:23:21,668 --> 00:23:23,135
It's in there
Someplace.
537
00:23:24,437 --> 00:23:25,838
You know, santa...
538
00:23:25,838 --> 00:23:27,073
Mm-hmm?
539
00:23:27,073 --> 00:23:30,142
I think it's time
To take you up
On that offer
540
00:23:30,142 --> 00:23:31,811
To polish the floor.
541
00:23:31,811 --> 00:23:35,414
Well, what room would you
Like to start in here?
542
00:23:35,414 --> 00:23:38,985
Hmm. How about
The dining room?
543
00:23:38,985 --> 00:23:41,854
Oh, good, good,
Good, good, good.
544
00:23:41,854 --> 00:23:44,857
[laughs]
545
00:23:57,203 --> 00:23:59,205
[theme music playing]
38814
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