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1
00:00:02,603 --> 00:00:04,205
Cheers is filmed before
A live studio audience.
2
00:00:04,205 --> 00:00:06,474
Well, I'm off, sam.
3
00:00:06,474 --> 00:00:10,344
Sixth row center
For the royal
Shakespeare company.
4
00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:12,480
I still have
The extra ticket
5
00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:14,482
If you happen
To have changed
Your mind.
6
00:00:14,482 --> 00:00:16,117
I just don't like
That stuff,
7
00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:17,985
All those guys
Jumping around,
8
00:00:17,985 --> 00:00:20,288
Stabbing each other
In their leotards.
9
00:00:20,288 --> 00:00:22,123
I--I'm sorry.
10
00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:25,126
Come on.
I don't want
To go alone.
11
00:00:25,126 --> 00:00:26,494
I know.
12
00:00:26,494 --> 00:00:28,696
Did I hear right,
You're leaving early?
13
00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:30,231
I'm going to a play.
14
00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:33,534
Fine. I'll just stay here,
Work my butt to the bone
15
00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:36,770
While the boss' fiance
Takes another day off.
16
00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:38,939
Carla, we're not
That busy around
Here.
17
00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:40,441
What are you doing?
18
00:00:40,441 --> 00:00:42,443
As a matter of fact,
Why don't you go
19
00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:44,645
To the play
With diane?
20
00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:45,579
Ha!
21
00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:49,183
How about it, carla?
22
00:00:49,183 --> 00:00:51,051
We rarely do things
Together.
23
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,921
We never do things
Together.
24
00:00:53,921 --> 00:00:55,423
It will be fun.
25
00:00:55,423 --> 00:00:57,658
It will broaden
Your horizons.
26
00:00:58,726 --> 00:00:59,660
What are you saying?
27
00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:01,162
I'm gonna get
The afternoon off
28
00:01:01,162 --> 00:01:04,098
If I go to the play
With bleachbag?
29
00:01:04,098 --> 00:01:06,834
Only if you go
To the play
With bleachbag.
30
00:01:06,834 --> 00:01:08,336
It's a deal.
31
00:01:08,336 --> 00:01:09,837
I'm so excited.
32
00:01:09,837 --> 00:01:12,740
I've been waiting months
For this production to arrive.
33
00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:13,741
Sounds good.
34
00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:14,742
Bye-bye.
35
00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:15,543
Bye-bye.
36
00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:17,245
I'll bring the pork rinds,
37
00:01:17,245 --> 00:01:18,679
You bring the beer.
38
00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:22,116
We'll make spitwads
Out of the programs.
39
00:01:23,184 --> 00:01:25,319
Take this.
Follow her. Enjoy.
40
00:01:27,855 --> 00:01:29,657
Hey, honey, wait up!
41
00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:38,766
* makin' your way
In the world today *
42
00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:41,769
* takes everything
You've got *
43
00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:44,572
* takin' a break
From all your worries *
44
00:01:44,572 --> 00:01:47,107
* sure would
Help a lot *
45
00:01:48,276 --> 00:01:51,312
* wouldn't you like
To get away *
46
00:01:53,981 --> 00:01:55,816
* sometimes
You wanna go *
47
00:01:55,816 --> 00:01:59,720
* where everybody
Knows your name *
48
00:02:01,489 --> 00:02:04,725
* and they're always
Glad you came *
49
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:08,596
* you wanna be
Where you can see *
50
00:02:08,596 --> 00:02:10,931
* our troubles
Are all the same *
51
00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:12,233
* you wanna be *
52
00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:15,469
* where everybody
Knows your name *
53
00:02:16,537 --> 00:02:19,006
* you wanna go
Where people know *
54
00:02:19,006 --> 00:02:21,275
* people are
All the same *
55
00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:22,743
* you wanna go *
56
00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:25,746
* where everybody
Knows your name **
57
00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:46,367
Greetings, everyone.
Hey!
58
00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:48,636
A beer, stout yeoman.
59
00:02:48,636 --> 00:02:50,204
You're in a good mood,
Dr. Crane.
60
00:02:50,204 --> 00:02:52,139
Why shouldn't I be?
61
00:02:52,139 --> 00:02:53,341
Next week marks
The anniversary of the day
62
00:02:53,341 --> 00:02:54,775
My beloved lilith
And I first met.
63
00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:56,109
No kidding.
64
00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:57,511
As a show of my affection,
65
00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,380
I bought her
A louis quatorze armoire
66
00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:01,582
At a little
Antique shop I saw
On the hill today.
67
00:03:01,582 --> 00:03:03,384
Set me back quite a penny.
68
00:03:03,384 --> 00:03:05,152
I think when
You're trying to
69
00:03:05,152 --> 00:03:06,920
Express your affection
For your mate,
70
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,323
Old wood says it best.
71
00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:11,259
What do I say?
72
00:03:11,259 --> 00:03:14,094
I was talking about
The armoire.
73
00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:15,429
I never say that.
74
00:03:15,429 --> 00:03:18,232
I don't even know
What an armoire is.
75
00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:21,502
It's a large chest.
76
00:03:21,502 --> 00:03:23,937
Well, hey, what woman
Wouldn't want that?
77
00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:29,076
So what's lilith
Getting you
There, doc?
78
00:03:29,076 --> 00:03:30,378
A set of golf clubs,
79
00:03:30,378 --> 00:03:32,380
Although she doesn't
Know it yet.
80
00:03:32,380 --> 00:03:33,681
How can you
Be so sure?
81
00:03:33,681 --> 00:03:35,316
I've left a lot of
Clues around the house.
82
00:03:35,316 --> 00:03:37,050
You'd have to be an idiot
Not to know what I've bought.
83
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,619
What's that, dr. Crane?
84
00:03:41,789 --> 00:03:44,224
I, uh, haven't
Decided yet.
85
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,559
Ah.
86
00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:47,995
So...
87
00:03:47,995 --> 00:03:51,131
Doc, I didn't know
You were a fellow
Linkster.
88
00:03:51,131 --> 00:03:54,001
Some day,
When you feel
You're good enough,
89
00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:57,538
I'll take you down
To my private
Country club
90
00:03:57,538 --> 00:03:59,873
For a little
Mano a mano.
91
00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:02,410
Normie, remember
When I took you
Down?
92
00:04:02,410 --> 00:04:04,512
Had a great time.
Got three holes in one
93
00:04:04,512 --> 00:04:06,280
And birdied
The windmill.
94
00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:10,718
Hey, barkeep,
95
00:04:10,718 --> 00:04:13,754
I hear you pour
A mean root beer
In this saloon.
96
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:14,788
Joyce?
97
00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:18,258
Oh, my god. Joyce!
98
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:19,427
Hi! Surprised?
99
00:04:19,427 --> 00:04:21,429
Oh! Boy, look at you.
100
00:04:21,429 --> 00:04:22,930
It's been ages.
101
00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:24,565
Yeah.
102
00:04:24,565 --> 00:04:27,034
Hey, everybody,
This is coach's niece,
Joyce pantusso.
103
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:28,201
Hello.
Joyce.
104
00:04:28,201 --> 00:04:29,570
Nice to meet you.
105
00:04:29,570 --> 00:04:32,072
Look at you.
It's so good
To see you!
106
00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:35,409
We couldn't be
More thrilled
To have you here.
107
00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:36,877
Who are you?
108
00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:38,278
Oh, I'm sorry.
109
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:39,580
Diane chambers,
Sam's fiance.
110
00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:42,783
I'm sure he must have
Mentioned me.
111
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:43,951
No.
112
00:04:46,454 --> 00:04:48,822
Well, must have been
An oversight.
113
00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:51,359
Anyway, it's so
Nice we finally
Get to meet.
114
00:04:51,359 --> 00:04:53,494
We've all
Got goose bumps.
115
00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:56,497
Sit down here.
116
00:04:56,497 --> 00:04:58,799
Let me get you
A soda.
117
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:00,501
Oh, I'll get it.
Thanks.
118
00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:03,003
Why didn't you tell
Me you were coming
To boston?
119
00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:04,805
I wanted
To surprise you.
120
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:07,841
I start college at b.U.
In the spring quarter.
121
00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:09,343
Oh, my god.
122
00:05:09,343 --> 00:05:10,944
A pantusso
Attending college.
123
00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:12,112
Yeah.
124
00:05:12,112 --> 00:05:13,747
A pantusso
Pronouncing college!
125
00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:18,151
Yeah, my mom and dad
Are really proud.
I'll bet.
126
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:20,621
Tell me,
So how's everybody
At reedsport?
127
00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:22,623
Well, um,
The family's fine.
128
00:05:22,623 --> 00:05:25,225
Would you believe
The twins are starting
High school?
129
00:05:25,225 --> 00:05:26,360
No kidding!
130
00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:27,728
Who are
The twins?
131
00:05:27,728 --> 00:05:29,830
I, ah, um...
132
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:32,533
Mom's calligraphy
Business is doing well.
133
00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:35,436
What about that nutty
Wild man dad of yours?
134
00:05:35,436 --> 00:05:39,473
Coach's baby brother--
You never knew what he
Was gonna do next.
135
00:05:39,473 --> 00:05:41,842
He threw his back out
Vacuuming.
136
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,411
What a nut, huh?
137
00:05:45,613 --> 00:05:46,914
Oh, you know what--
138
00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:49,917
He asked me
To give you something.
139
00:05:49,917 --> 00:05:51,652
Sam, beer
Distributor's
On the phone.
140
00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:53,654
Tell him I'll call back.
141
00:05:53,654 --> 00:05:56,724
Sammy, hey, where
Are your priorities?
Come on.
142
00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:04,998
So where is reedsport?
143
00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:08,301
In oregon,
About 50 miles
West of eugene.
144
00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:10,704
Well,
Left-coaster, huh?
145
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:11,672
Yeah.
146
00:06:11,672 --> 00:06:13,574
You know, recent
Medical studies
147
00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:16,076
Have shown that
Time zone transference,
148
00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:17,678
A.K.A. Jet lag,
149
00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:20,581
Not only can be
Very upsetting
To one's metabolism,
150
00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:21,882
But also directly
Correlates
151
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:24,818
To the loss
Of hair follicles.
152
00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:28,088
Are you a doctor?
153
00:06:28,088 --> 00:06:29,723
No. He's a floon.
154
00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:34,227
Who is that?
155
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:35,529
Nobody knows.
156
00:06:39,567 --> 00:06:43,571
So, any
Last-minute fatherly
Pearls of wisdom?
157
00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:45,539
Read for yourself.
158
00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:47,541
"Dear sam, would you mind
159
00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:49,777
"Keeping an eye
On my joyce?
160
00:06:49,777 --> 00:06:51,779
"Coach always
Trusted you.
161
00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:53,146
"She's my little girl,
162
00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:55,348
"And she's all alone
In the big city.
163
00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:57,350
"If anything
Happened to her,
164
00:06:57,350 --> 00:06:59,352
"I'd go into the shed
165
00:06:59,352 --> 00:07:01,354
"And blow
My brains out.
166
00:07:01,354 --> 00:07:02,856
Phyllis says hi."
167
00:07:04,558 --> 00:07:06,126
That's
A nice letter.
168
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:14,401
Well, that certainly
Puts the pressure
On me.
169
00:07:14,401 --> 00:07:16,403
You?
170
00:07:16,403 --> 00:07:18,539
Yes. What do you know
171
00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:20,407
About taking care
For an 18-year-old
172
00:07:20,407 --> 00:07:22,142
In the city of boston?
173
00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:24,845
A young girl
Away from home
Needs a big sister.
174
00:07:24,845 --> 00:07:27,848
Listen, I appreciate
What you're trying to do,
175
00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:29,550
But she's my
Responsibility.
176
00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:31,084
I'm perfectly capable
Of handling it.
177
00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:35,556
Kids are a lot different
Than when we were young.
178
00:07:35,556 --> 00:07:37,124
I mean,
Today, they're smart.
179
00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:38,759
You've got to give them
A lot of room
180
00:07:38,759 --> 00:07:40,093
To make their own mistakes.
181
00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:41,762
I hear you're
From out of town?
182
00:07:41,762 --> 00:07:44,197
Hey, what are you
Doing there?
183
00:07:45,599 --> 00:07:47,501
I'm just making some
Polite conversation.
184
00:07:47,501 --> 00:07:49,102
Buddy,
This is a bar.
185
00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:51,972
If you want to make
Polite conversation,
You take it outside.
186
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:53,607
Whatever you say.
187
00:07:55,509 --> 00:07:56,877
Sam, that wasn't
Necessary.
188
00:07:56,877 --> 00:07:58,512
I'm not a little girl.
189
00:07:58,512 --> 00:08:00,514
Forget it.
Come on, get up here
190
00:08:00,514 --> 00:08:02,916
And sit up on my bar here
And tell me...
191
00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:05,318
You all checked in
At the college?
192
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:08,522
Well, not really.
My dorm is having
Plumbing troubles,
193
00:08:08,522 --> 00:08:11,258
And I have
No place to stay.
194
00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:13,460
Well, that's not a problem.
You can stay with me.
195
00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:15,663
I just have to pick up
A few things--
196
00:08:15,663 --> 00:08:17,865
Bottle of juice,
A loaf of bread--
197
00:08:17,865 --> 00:08:20,000
A door for the bathroom.
198
00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:25,005
My god, yeah.
199
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:28,542
Joyce, the only logical
Place for you to stay
Is with me.
200
00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:29,643
Oh.
201
00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:32,479
Coach was like
A father to me.
202
00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:34,414
Well, I mean,
If it's no problem--
203
00:08:34,414 --> 00:08:36,784
None at all.
We'll have fun.
204
00:08:36,784 --> 00:08:39,286
It'll be one long
Slumber party.
205
00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:42,623
Goody. Can I come over
And bring my frankie
Avalon records?
206
00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:46,193
I have dibs
On cutting off her hair
207
00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:47,628
When she goes to sleep.
208
00:08:48,696 --> 00:08:50,998
And if we can get our
Hands on a laser,
209
00:08:50,998 --> 00:08:52,600
We'll try
Cutting carla's.
210
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:55,102
Listen, it'll be
A little while
211
00:08:55,102 --> 00:08:57,104
Before I can get off.
You know what?
212
00:08:57,104 --> 00:09:00,107
Since this is your
First day in boston,
213
00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:02,309
I bet you'd
Love to see
Some of the sights.
214
00:09:02,309 --> 00:09:03,476
Well, yes, I would.
215
00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:04,612
Good.
216
00:09:04,612 --> 00:09:05,879
Yeah, that's
A great idea,
217
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,314
But I can't
Get out of the
Bar today.
218
00:09:07,314 --> 00:09:10,117
She can come
On my route with me
If you want.
219
00:09:10,117 --> 00:09:11,284
No, no.
Um...
220
00:09:13,353 --> 00:09:14,655
Sam, no problem.
221
00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:16,657
We'll just find
Someone else
222
00:09:16,657 --> 00:09:18,659
To show her the sights.
223
00:09:18,659 --> 00:09:19,827
All right.
224
00:09:19,827 --> 00:09:23,096
Someone who is
Enthusiastic.
225
00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:25,432
Someone who's
Nonthreatening.
226
00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:26,867
That's good.
227
00:09:26,867 --> 00:09:28,602
That's good.
Somebody, uh,
Trustworthy.
228
00:09:28,602 --> 00:09:29,903
Somebody, uh,
Innocent.
Right.
229
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:33,106
Hey, sam, you remember
That little bird
230
00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:34,608
Whose wing I mended?
231
00:09:34,608 --> 00:09:36,276
Well,
232
00:09:36,276 --> 00:09:37,611
This morning I was--
233
00:09:37,611 --> 00:09:39,346
Do you mind?
234
00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:41,348
I'm trying
To think here.
235
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:42,650
Sam.
236
00:09:44,451 --> 00:09:45,753
Oh, yeah. Right.
237
00:09:45,753 --> 00:09:48,756
Hey, do you mind?
I'll handle this.
238
00:09:48,756 --> 00:09:50,758
Woody, come here
A second, will you?
239
00:09:50,758 --> 00:09:53,761
I've been thinking
Long and hard about this.
240
00:09:53,761 --> 00:09:56,630
Look, there's somebody
I want you to meet here.
241
00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:57,665
Come here.
242
00:09:57,665 --> 00:09:59,032
Joyce, woody.
243
00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:00,267
Hi.
244
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:01,601
Wow, what a coincidence.
245
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,303
My first name is woody.
246
00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:10,678
How would you like to take
The rest of the day off
247
00:10:10,678 --> 00:10:12,379
And show joyce around
The town?
248
00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:14,381
Well, gee, I'd love to.
249
00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:16,216
Well, good.
Take off. Go on.
250
00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:17,317
Ok. Great.
251
00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:20,854
Can we see
Old ironsides first?
252
00:10:20,854 --> 00:10:24,992
Well, I don't know
If raymond burr
Lives in boston.
253
00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:35,002
Well, I'm off.
254
00:10:35,002 --> 00:10:38,839
Fore!
255
00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:40,173
You get those clubs,
Yet, frase?
256
00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:41,909
No, but it's just
A matter of time.
257
00:10:41,909 --> 00:10:43,777
See, I placed brochures
Strategically about the house
258
00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:44,878
For lilith to notice.
259
00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:46,714
One nestled
Under her pillow,
260
00:10:46,714 --> 00:10:48,081
One by the wine rack--
261
00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:50,183
One next to
The whip locker.
262
00:10:56,690 --> 00:10:58,692
Sammy, is woody out
With joyce again?
263
00:10:58,692 --> 00:11:00,894
Yeah. That makes
Every day this week.
264
00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:02,696
They're so cute together.
265
00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:03,964
You know where
He's taking her now?
266
00:11:03,964 --> 00:11:05,332
They're going out
For ice cream,
267
00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:06,834
Then they're going
Roller-skating.
268
00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:08,301
Aw, those kiddlies.
269
00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:10,670
Doesn't that just
Remind you of your youth?
270
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:13,707
Not one damn bit.
That's why I feel
Good about it.
271
00:11:14,742 --> 00:11:17,044
I just think
It was a stroke of genius
272
00:11:17,044 --> 00:11:19,512
That I had woody
Squire joyce around town.
273
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:22,682
I mean, she's safe,
And I have my peace of mind.
274
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:23,984
Personally
I'm worried about joyce.
275
00:11:23,984 --> 00:11:26,619
She's seeing an awful
Lot of woody.
276
00:11:26,619 --> 00:11:27,988
So what?
277
00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:30,724
You know what time
She got in last night?
278
00:11:30,724 --> 00:11:31,992
2:30.
279
00:11:33,593 --> 00:11:35,896
Who knows
What they were up to?
280
00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:37,898
Oh, we're talking
About woody.
281
00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:40,600
I mean,
The guy's a walking
Disney character
282
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,002
Without the fur.
283
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,538
I think
You should talk to them.
284
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:46,740
There's nothing
To talk about.
285
00:11:46,740 --> 00:11:48,108
Hey,
I'll talk to her.
286
00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:50,177
No, you won't.
Why not?
287
00:11:50,177 --> 00:11:51,845
Because you don't
Know what the hell
You're talking about.
288
00:11:51,845 --> 00:11:53,346
All right, fine.
289
00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:55,348
I don't
Know what the hell
I'm talking about,
290
00:11:55,348 --> 00:11:58,551
And that's the last
You'll hear from me.
291
00:11:58,551 --> 00:11:59,853
Thank you.
292
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:01,855
Hey, so there you are.
293
00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:04,224
What kind of ice cream
Did you get?
294
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:05,125
Tutti-frutti.
295
00:12:05,125 --> 00:12:06,760
Tutti-frutti.
Did you hear that?
296
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:08,195
You better be careful
297
00:12:08,195 --> 00:12:11,331
Because that can lead
To the hard stuff--
298
00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:12,432
Double chocolate.
299
00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:18,505
So, uh, is he
Treating you well?
300
00:12:18,505 --> 00:12:20,473
Yeah. Yeah,
He sure is.
301
00:12:20,473 --> 00:12:23,676
I think he's the sweetest
Person I've ever met.
302
00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:24,778
Me, too.
303
00:12:24,778 --> 00:12:26,346
You know, sam,
304
00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:29,149
I'm having the best time
I've ever had in my life.
305
00:12:29,149 --> 00:12:31,785
And I have you to thank
For it.
306
00:12:31,785 --> 00:12:33,787
Well, if you're happy,
We're happy.
307
00:12:33,787 --> 00:12:35,588
If that
Makes you happy,
308
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:38,658
You're gonna
Do cartwheels when
You hear this--
309
00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:40,928
Joyce and I
Are engaged.
310
00:12:58,511 --> 00:13:00,180
Hey, sam.
311
00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:02,816
Are you ok?
312
00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:04,818
Yeah. Why?
313
00:13:04,818 --> 00:13:07,988
You're filling
Your shoes
With beer.
314
00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:13,961
Will this
Be enough for you?
315
00:13:15,062 --> 00:13:16,363
Could you two sit down
316
00:13:16,363 --> 00:13:17,697
Over at the table,
There, please?
317
00:13:17,697 --> 00:13:18,832
I'll be right with you.
318
00:13:18,832 --> 00:13:20,600
Sam--
319
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,836
Ah ah ah--
I'll handle this.
320
00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:24,938
Just butt out.
321
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:29,342
Well.
322
00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:30,710
Thank you.
323
00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:32,145
You're welcome.
324
00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:33,146
So...
325
00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:35,849
You're engaged.
326
00:13:35,849 --> 00:13:37,417
Yeah, yeah.
327
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:38,952
And we wanted you
To be the first one
To know about it
328
00:13:38,952 --> 00:13:41,054
Since you're the one
Who put us
Together.
329
00:13:41,054 --> 00:13:43,790
Well, thank you.
330
00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:46,326
Why are you
Doing this to me?
331
00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:50,230
Sam, we thought this
Would make you happy.
332
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:51,664
Well, I am,
333
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:55,335
In a sad
And disappointed way.
334
00:13:56,904 --> 00:13:59,472
Listen, I know
It sounds crazy.
335
00:13:59,472 --> 00:14:02,675
We've only known
Each other a few days,
336
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:04,611
But it seems
Like...Several.
337
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,116
Listen. Listen, you guys.
338
00:14:09,116 --> 00:14:12,119
Listen. I was
In your shoes once.
339
00:14:12,119 --> 00:14:14,121
I mean, I was young.
340
00:14:14,121 --> 00:14:16,123
I had
A whirlwind romance,
341
00:14:16,123 --> 00:14:17,490
And I got married,
342
00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:21,494
And it turned out
To be a disaster.
343
00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:24,697
I don't want this
To happen to you.
344
00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:25,832
I mean,
Look at diane and me.
345
00:14:25,832 --> 00:14:28,435
We waited five years
To get married.
346
00:14:28,435 --> 00:14:30,537
If it were up to me,
347
00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:31,638
We'd wait another five.
348
00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:34,607
I'm trying
To make a point.
Do you mind?
349
00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:36,509
The point is,
350
00:14:36,509 --> 00:14:38,711
You got to get
To know each other better
351
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:41,614
If you're gonna take
A big step like this.
352
00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:44,051
You got to get past
This early infatuation
353
00:14:44,051 --> 00:14:46,753
And get to the point
Where you're sick and
Tired of each other.
354
00:14:46,753 --> 00:14:48,888
Then you're ready
For marriage.
355
00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:53,726
Sam, we're never going
To be sick of each other.
356
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:55,828
You know,
There are hundreds
357
00:14:55,828 --> 00:14:57,897
Of good, solid reasons
358
00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,899
Why you two
Should not get married.
359
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,201
Like?
360
00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:03,736
Like...
361
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:06,673
Like I forbid you to,
Young lady.
362
00:15:08,841 --> 00:15:10,843
Wait, you can't
Forbid me.
363
00:15:10,843 --> 00:15:12,745
You're not my father.
364
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,347
All right. All right.
365
00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:16,883
Woody, I forbid you
To marry joyce.
366
00:15:16,883 --> 00:15:18,685
Sam, you're only my boss.
367
00:15:18,685 --> 00:15:22,222
Damn it, I'm gonna forbid
Somebody something,
I'll tell ya!
368
00:15:22,222 --> 00:15:25,292
Norm, I forbid you
To leave that stool!
369
00:15:25,292 --> 00:15:28,161
Sorry, sam.
Uh, nature calls.
370
00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:31,698
Hey, whoa. You go,
And you're cut off.
371
00:15:31,698 --> 00:15:33,133
Whatever you say, pop.
372
00:15:35,568 --> 00:15:38,771
Let's get down
To brass tacks, here.
373
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:40,673
How much do you want?
374
00:15:40,673 --> 00:15:42,309
Ok, I'm not a rich guy,
375
00:15:42,309 --> 00:15:43,610
But I'm comfortable.
376
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:46,813
So let's stop
Jerking old sammy around
377
00:15:46,813 --> 00:15:48,148
And name your price.
Come on.
378
00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:49,416
We don't want
Anything.
379
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:50,717
We just want
To be together.
380
00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:54,054
Don't do that.
Get into my office, will ya?
381
00:15:54,054 --> 00:15:55,588
Come on, both of you.
382
00:15:55,588 --> 00:15:57,890
I've tried
To talk to you on
An emotional level,
383
00:15:57,890 --> 00:15:59,592
A logical level,
384
00:15:59,592 --> 00:16:00,927
And an economic level.
385
00:16:00,927 --> 00:16:02,762
Now we're just gonna have
To raise this whole discussion
386
00:16:02,762 --> 00:16:04,231
Up to a higher plane.
387
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,234
Have pity on me.
388
00:16:07,234 --> 00:16:09,802
Please don't
Do this to me.
389
00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:10,970
Please!
390
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,705
I haven't
Had an easy life.
391
00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:14,807
This is gonna
Hurt me, and I don't
Want to be hurt.
392
00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:16,276
I mean,
I don't like pain.
393
00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:18,311
And think about
Your parents.
They hate pain, too,
394
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:20,313
Not as much as me
But pretty much.
395
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,315
This news
Will kill them,
You guys!
396
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:23,750
It'll kill me, too.
397
00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:26,886
Please don't.
Please don't
Do this to me!
398
00:16:26,886 --> 00:16:28,455
Don't make me beg.
399
00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:35,228
Gee, sam, you feel
Pretty strongly
About this?
400
00:16:36,563 --> 00:16:37,764
Yeah.
401
00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:39,099
Yeah.
402
00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:40,467
Maybe he's right, woody.
403
00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:42,869
Maybe we could get to
Know each other better.
404
00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:44,104
Really?
405
00:16:44,104 --> 00:16:45,205
Couldn't hurt.
406
00:16:45,205 --> 00:16:47,374
Oh. Oh, bless you.
407
00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:50,710
Bless you kids. Oh,
You're the greatest.
408
00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:53,480
Aw.
Aw, thanks, wood.
409
00:17:01,921 --> 00:17:03,090
Oh.
410
00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:05,225
Heh heh.
They bought it.
411
00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:11,364
See you later, sam.
412
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:13,166
Listen, you know,
What you said in there
Made a lot of sense.
413
00:17:13,166 --> 00:17:16,769
I think you may have
Stopped us from making
A pretty big mistake.
414
00:17:16,769 --> 00:17:18,004
Yes, thank you.
415
00:17:18,004 --> 00:17:19,506
Yeah. My pleasure.
416
00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:25,078
Well, what else
Can I do around here
417
00:17:25,078 --> 00:17:26,513
That I'm great at?
418
00:17:30,117 --> 00:17:31,551
Nauseate us.
419
00:17:32,785 --> 00:17:34,421
Maybe some other time.
420
00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:45,031
Hey, frase, thought
You'd be out on
The links by now.
421
00:17:45,031 --> 00:17:48,201
It'd be exceedingly
Difficult to tee off
With this.
422
00:17:49,169 --> 00:17:50,470
What's that, frase?
423
00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:53,673
This is my extra-special
Gift from lilith.
424
00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:55,175
It's a tie.
425
00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:58,311
Yes. And I hate it.
It's ugly.
426
00:17:59,979 --> 00:18:01,414
It's just a tie,
427
00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:02,982
An ordinary gray tie.
428
00:18:02,982 --> 00:18:04,417
I wanted golf clubs.
429
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:05,618
It's not special.
430
00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:07,754
I hate it! I hate it!
I hate it!
431
00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:13,693
Glad she didn't
Give him a puppy.
432
00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:20,333
Oh, come on.
433
00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:21,834
We're not even
Married yet.
434
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:23,336
Oh, sam.
435
00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:25,638
Never too early
To start thinking
436
00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:27,640
About names
For our children.
437
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:31,478
It is if you're thinking
About the name emile.
438
00:18:33,079 --> 00:18:35,448
What's wrong with emile?
439
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:36,716
Emile is something
You eat,
440
00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:39,152
It's not something
You name your kid.
441
00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:43,890
Why don't you
Just name him
Socrates, after me?
442
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,460
You two kids
Still basking
443
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:50,163
In the glow
Of my wisdom?
444
00:18:50,163 --> 00:18:51,731
We sure are. We thought
About what you said
445
00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:53,466
And we decided
It was the best advice
446
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:56,469
Anyone had ever
Given us in our lives.
447
00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:58,238
You hear that, diane?
448
00:18:58,238 --> 00:19:00,240
So we decided to
Call off the wedding
449
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:01,708
And move in together.
450
00:19:06,946 --> 00:19:08,615
You hear that,
Socrates?
451
00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:14,354
Would you 2 kids
Go into my office
452
00:19:14,354 --> 00:19:15,722
And wait a sec?
453
00:19:15,722 --> 00:19:17,224
Sure, sam.
454
00:19:17,224 --> 00:19:18,525
Thank you.
455
00:19:19,726 --> 00:19:22,762
You know something?
I could handle
This, too,
456
00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:23,963
If I wanted to,
457
00:19:23,963 --> 00:19:28,435
But I think I'm gonna be
A good sport about this
458
00:19:28,435 --> 00:19:31,504
And let you take
A crack at it.
459
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:35,275
So what you're saying
Is you screwed up
Miserably,
460
00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:38,245
And now you want me
To bail you out.
461
00:19:38,245 --> 00:19:40,747
No, of course not.
Absolutely not.
462
00:19:40,747 --> 00:19:42,382
Well, yes. Yes.
463
00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:45,318
Well, sam,
You don't deserve it,
464
00:19:45,318 --> 00:19:48,288
But I'll give it a shot.
465
00:19:48,288 --> 00:19:52,425
Stand aside sam,
You're about to see
466
00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:53,893
26 units of psychology
Fly into action.
467
00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:57,930
So you're going
To live together.
468
00:19:57,930 --> 00:19:59,432
Why? Talk to me.
469
00:19:59,432 --> 00:20:03,436
Sam said we should get
To know each other better
470
00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:04,737
Before we got married.
471
00:20:04,737 --> 00:20:06,739
We thought this might be
The best way.
472
00:20:06,739 --> 00:20:07,807
Mm-hmm.
473
00:20:07,807 --> 00:20:10,977
But I think you've
Forgotten something--
474
00:20:10,977 --> 00:20:14,681
The reason joyce came
To boston initially...
475
00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:18,251
College.
476
00:20:19,118 --> 00:20:20,920
That was
My mom's idea.
477
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:23,623
I decided I'm not
Going to college.
478
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:30,196
Not go--
Not going to college?
479
00:20:30,196 --> 00:20:31,197
No.
480
00:20:31,197 --> 00:20:33,733
Oh, no, no,
No, no, no.
481
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,034
No, no, no, no.
482
00:20:35,034 --> 00:20:36,469
Oh, listen to me.
483
00:20:36,469 --> 00:20:39,839
You have
Your whole life
Ahead of you.
484
00:20:39,839 --> 00:20:41,408
You can't throw it
Away like this.
485
00:20:41,408 --> 00:20:42,975
If you don't
Go to college,
486
00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:44,777
You can't
Earn a living.
487
00:20:44,777 --> 00:20:47,246
Without a job,
What will you do
488
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:48,981
When he
Leaves you
489
00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:50,883
With a litter
Of kids,
490
00:20:50,883 --> 00:20:54,587
And you have to
Sell them, one
After another,
491
00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:58,591
Just to put food
On your pathetic
Little table?
492
00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:02,595
And in the end,
You'll be left
With nothing,
493
00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:04,597
Nothing but
Worn-out hips
494
00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:06,433
And sagging
Breasts.
495
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:11,270
Is that really
What you want?
496
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,139
I can't speak
For joyce,
497
00:21:13,139 --> 00:21:15,742
But I could do
Without that.
498
00:21:24,817 --> 00:21:26,653
So tell me
499
00:21:26,653 --> 00:21:29,656
That you'll give up
This insane idea
500
00:21:29,656 --> 00:21:31,358
Of shacking up
Together
501
00:21:31,358 --> 00:21:34,494
And concentrate on
Your college career.
502
00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:39,131
Well, I guess I could
Move into the dorm
503
00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:41,300
And try
A couple classes.
504
00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:42,902
Yes.
505
00:21:42,902 --> 00:21:45,271
We could still date,
See each other,
Couldn't we?
506
00:21:45,271 --> 00:21:47,740
Oh, sure, sure.
Dating's good.
507
00:21:47,740 --> 00:21:49,842
Dating's fine.
Yeah.
508
00:21:49,842 --> 00:21:52,144
I like
That idea.
509
00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:53,846
Well, thanks,
Miss chambers.
510
00:21:53,846 --> 00:21:54,847
Ok.
511
00:21:54,847 --> 00:21:56,015
Yes, thank you.
512
00:21:56,015 --> 00:21:57,617
Oh. Thank you.
513
00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:06,859
How'd it go?
514
00:22:06,859 --> 00:22:08,428
Oh, well.
515
00:22:08,428 --> 00:22:09,662
Suffice it
To say,
516
00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:13,165
The chambers
Expertise worked
Its magic.
517
00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:15,368
You begged, huh?
518
00:22:16,268 --> 00:22:18,337
How do you know?
519
00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:21,474
Your nylons
Are all baggy there.
520
00:22:24,176 --> 00:22:25,512
How about you?
521
00:22:25,512 --> 00:22:26,679
I don't wear nylons.
522
00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:29,516
I mean, how
Did you talk them
523
00:22:29,516 --> 00:22:31,350
Out of
Getting married?
524
00:22:32,385 --> 00:22:33,820
Me?
525
00:22:33,820 --> 00:22:36,956
I begged
Like a dog
For a bone.
526
00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:39,726
Oh, sam.
527
00:22:39,726 --> 00:22:40,827
Mmm?
528
00:22:40,827 --> 00:22:43,530
Well, how can we avoid
Having this problem
529
00:22:43,530 --> 00:22:45,131
With our own children?
530
00:22:46,533 --> 00:22:48,668
Never have
Sex again.
531
00:22:57,043 --> 00:22:59,746
I think it's worth it.
532
00:22:59,746 --> 00:23:00,980
Me, too.
533
00:23:03,215 --> 00:23:04,551
Absolutely.
534
00:23:04,551 --> 00:23:06,052
It's worth it.
535
00:23:06,052 --> 00:23:07,520
Absolutely.
536
00:23:12,559 --> 00:23:14,060
Well, maybe...
537
00:23:14,060 --> 00:23:15,895
Maybe just...
36703
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