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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:05,139 Carla: "Cheers" is filmed Before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:07,075 --> 00:00:09,710 Are you, uh, are you going to Make a move in our lifetime? 3 00:00:09,743 --> 00:00:12,613 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 4 00:00:12,646 --> 00:00:15,416 Oh, come on, norm, why don't you Just give up. You're finished. 5 00:00:15,449 --> 00:00:18,619 Oh, not necessarily. He could move this Piece over to here. 6 00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:22,656 My god, woody, That's brilliant. 7 00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:25,626 You're suggesting That after two Futile interpositions, 8 00:00:25,659 --> 00:00:29,063 He attempt to force unobstructed Access to the eighth rank. 9 00:00:29,097 --> 00:00:31,065 No, I'm saying he Should take your horsie 10 00:00:31,099 --> 00:00:32,333 With his little Pointy-headed thing. 11 00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:37,105 No, not that one. 12 00:00:37,138 --> 00:00:38,539 Too late. Checkmate! 13 00:00:38,572 --> 00:00:40,474 Ha ha ha! Good game, norm. 14 00:00:40,508 --> 00:00:42,243 Ok, next victim. 15 00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:45,146 What's with this obsession With chess here, huh? 16 00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:47,515 It's just a hobby, sam. You know, relieve the tension. 17 00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:49,417 I got a better way To relieve tension-- 18 00:00:49,450 --> 00:00:51,585 Her name's tawney. You want her number? 19 00:00:51,619 --> 00:00:53,654 No, thanks, sam. 20 00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:56,257 I prefer something with a little Mental stimulation as well. 21 00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:58,426 So read To her first. 22 00:01:00,128 --> 00:01:02,763 No, thanks. I'll stick to chess. 23 00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:05,666 You know, that and fencing Were my two outlets During college. 24 00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:07,768 Oh, boy, fencing. 25 00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:10,138 I haven't had The old epee out in years. 26 00:01:10,171 --> 00:01:12,240 Boy, that'd make me Pretty tense, too. 27 00:01:18,446 --> 00:01:20,881 * makin' your way In the world today * 28 00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:24,218 * takes everything You've got * 29 00:01:24,252 --> 00:01:26,654 * takin' a break From all your worries * 30 00:01:26,687 --> 00:01:28,789 * sure would Help a lot * 31 00:01:30,258 --> 00:01:33,161 * wouldn't you like To get away * 32 00:01:36,164 --> 00:01:38,166 * sometimes You wanna go * 33 00:01:38,199 --> 00:01:41,202 * where everybody Knows your name * 34 00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:47,775 * and they're always Glad you came * 35 00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:50,411 * you wanna be Where you can see * 36 00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:52,746 * our troubles Are all the same * 37 00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:54,315 * you wanna be 38 00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:56,884 * where everybody Knows your name * 39 00:01:58,352 --> 00:02:00,854 * you wanna go Where people know * 40 00:02:00,888 --> 00:02:03,224 * people are All the same * 41 00:02:03,257 --> 00:02:04,392 * you wanna go 42 00:02:04,425 --> 00:02:07,661 * where everybody Knows your name * 43 00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:27,315 Mind if I play, Dr. Crane? 44 00:02:27,348 --> 00:02:29,850 Not at all, woody. I've thrashed Everybody else in the bar. 45 00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:33,521 You may as well Be allowed your chance At ignominious defeat. 46 00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:35,923 Well, thank you, Dr. Crane. 47 00:02:35,956 --> 00:02:38,526 [sobbing] 48 00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:43,331 Hi, sam. 49 00:02:43,364 --> 00:02:45,833 Hi, lor--are you All right, loretta? 50 00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:47,735 I'm fine. And you? 51 00:02:49,537 --> 00:02:51,339 Oh, I'm fine. 52 00:02:51,372 --> 00:02:52,940 That's nice to hear. 53 00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:55,276 Is carla Working tonight? 54 00:02:55,309 --> 00:02:57,311 Yeah. She's Right over there. 55 00:02:57,345 --> 00:02:58,746 Thank you, sam. 56 00:02:58,779 --> 00:03:02,416 It's been nice Talking with you. 57 00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:06,954 Excuse me, carla, But I caught nick Cheating on me, 58 00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:09,390 And I've decided To leave him. 59 00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:13,627 So you finally found out My ex-husband is a jerk? 60 00:03:13,661 --> 00:03:15,896 Well, I told you that Before you married the bum. 61 00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:18,499 I've done my part. 62 00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:23,437 Carla. Don't ignore her In her time of need. 63 00:03:23,471 --> 00:03:26,574 Can't you tell When a woman is dying? 64 00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:29,977 Sure. When the roots Start showing--like that. 65 00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:36,750 Want a drink? 66 00:03:36,784 --> 00:03:38,452 A diet cola Would be wonderful. 67 00:03:38,486 --> 00:03:39,620 Ok. 68 00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:45,693 Look, kid, I'm sorry This happened to you. 69 00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:48,562 Oh, thank you, Carla. Thank you. 70 00:03:48,596 --> 00:03:50,731 I'm moved Beyond recognition. 71 00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:55,769 How long did it take you To mend your broken heart? 72 00:03:55,803 --> 00:03:57,371 I'll let you know When it happens. 73 00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:06,480 Loretta, would you Like to talk about it? 74 00:04:06,514 --> 00:04:07,848 Not really. 75 00:04:10,518 --> 00:04:12,486 To come home And find out 76 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:14,922 That a loved one Has been unfaithful 77 00:04:14,955 --> 00:04:16,890 Is a terrible blow. 78 00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:18,592 The best therapy 79 00:04:18,626 --> 00:04:21,429 Is to tell how You feel about it. 80 00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:22,763 I'm against it. 81 00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:28,035 All right, diane, You've got your catharsis, 82 00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:29,470 Now leave The girl alone. 83 00:04:29,503 --> 00:04:32,306 Well, at least I'm trying to help. 84 00:04:32,340 --> 00:04:34,642 You're merely Trying to figure out 85 00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:37,745 Why your king's About to be mated. 86 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:39,547 Oh, my god. 87 00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:42,850 Woody, you must Be an idiot savant. 88 00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:45,919 Yeah, but I cover it By smiling a lot. 89 00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:53,561 Come on, loretta. Don't hold it inside. 90 00:04:53,594 --> 00:04:56,964 Well, nick, Who is my husband, 91 00:04:56,997 --> 00:04:59,099 Has been seeing Another woman. 92 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:01,335 I just realized It today 93 00:05:01,369 --> 00:05:03,737 When I found Blond hairs On nick's shirt. 94 00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:08,576 Loretta, You're a blonde. 95 00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:11,945 Sure. Take his side. 96 00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:14,348 Would you Excuse us, please? 97 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,589 Look, it's closing time. 98 00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:24,792 Loretta needs someone To confide in right now. 99 00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,527 Sam, why don't you Go on home 100 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:28,929 And we ladies Will take care of her. 101 00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:31,031 What is This "We" bit? 102 00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:34,402 I feel strongly that It's our duty as women 103 00:05:34,435 --> 00:05:38,539 To be there for another woman When she wants to talk. 104 00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:40,874 Just as I feel strongly That it's my duty as a man 105 00:05:40,908 --> 00:05:42,843 To be there for a woman When she doesn't Want to talk. 106 00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:43,644 Same kind of thing. 107 00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:50,050 We'll miss that kind Of poignancy, sam. 108 00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:51,552 What do you say, We do it? 109 00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:53,887 Oh, all right. But only because No living thing 110 00:05:53,921 --> 00:05:57,057 Should be subjected To a night alone With you. 111 00:05:57,090 --> 00:06:00,027 That's the spirit. 112 00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:01,595 Let's wrap it up, guys. 113 00:06:01,629 --> 00:06:03,564 Oh. Oh, well, all right, sam. 114 00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:05,399 We can finish this up Tomorrow, woody. 115 00:06:05,433 --> 00:06:07,401 Who's winning now, Dr. Crane? 116 00:06:07,435 --> 00:06:09,870 Oh, what does It matter who's winning? 117 00:06:13,607 --> 00:06:15,609 We'll just start up Fresh tomorrow, ok? 118 00:06:15,643 --> 00:06:17,411 All right. 119 00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:29,857 Oh, carla, I still love him. 120 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:32,059 Nothing you can do. 121 00:06:32,092 --> 00:06:34,061 We're talking about Nick tortelli. 122 00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:37,531 He wants you, You got no choice. 123 00:06:37,565 --> 00:06:41,201 This is the part I don't get. 124 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:44,071 Here's a man that Quicksand would spit up... 125 00:06:46,874 --> 00:06:48,642 And yet he has 126 00:06:48,676 --> 00:06:51,712 This strange svengali-like Power over you. 127 00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:55,616 Oh, yes. From The moment I first saw him, 128 00:06:55,649 --> 00:06:58,886 I knew I'd follow him To the ends of the earth. 129 00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:01,722 Where he's obviously Spent a lot of time. 130 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:06,494 You know, there's Something about him. 131 00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:10,197 He knows women, Like a jeweler Knows jewels, 132 00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:12,132 Like a meat-cutter Knows meat. 133 00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:15,435 Like a marine biologist Knows marines. 134 00:07:23,511 --> 00:07:26,246 Knowing me As well as I do, 135 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:29,216 I'll probably end up Crawling right back to him. 136 00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:31,151 Yeah, and he'll Be there waiting 137 00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:33,754 With that cute look On his face 138 00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,589 And those three Little words-- 139 00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:37,457 "She's my cousin!" 140 00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:44,131 You're not Crawling back to him. 141 00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:45,633 We're gonna fight this Together. 142 00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:47,668 You don't need That reptile. 143 00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:49,069 You can take care Of yourself. 144 00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:50,671 But what'll I do? 145 00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:53,574 Well, you must be Good at something. 146 00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:56,977 Well... I'm great at singing. 147 00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:58,512 Ok. 148 00:07:58,546 --> 00:08:00,648 In fact, Before I married nick, 149 00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:02,750 I was on my way To becoming 150 00:08:02,783 --> 00:08:04,117 A taller, blonder, 151 00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:06,386 Less mormon marie osmond. 152 00:08:10,257 --> 00:08:12,125 Loretta, if nick's going To treat you this way, 153 00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:15,295 You can't let him Come between you And your career. 154 00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:18,999 You're right. I've got to sing again. 155 00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:21,268 Do you think sam Would let me sing here? 156 00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:24,104 Let me take care of it. I can talk him Into anything. 157 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,877 No, diane, I told you, Absolutely not. 158 00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:33,647 I wish you'd reconsider. Loretta needs a job. 159 00:08:33,681 --> 00:08:36,116 And you've never Had a singer before. 160 00:08:36,149 --> 00:08:37,751 Oh, I've had a singer. 161 00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:42,055 You probably mean... 162 00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:44,124 Yes, in the bar. 163 00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:45,325 Right. 164 00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:46,560 It might Be good for business. 165 00:08:46,594 --> 00:08:48,328 Yeah--uh... 166 00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,297 I don't need a singer. 167 00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:52,065 Can you waitress? 168 00:08:52,099 --> 00:08:55,736 No, but I can do a salute To waitresses in my act. 169 00:08:57,605 --> 00:09:00,574 It's only temporary until She can get back on her feet. 170 00:09:00,608 --> 00:09:02,142 Ok, all right. Ok. 171 00:09:03,811 --> 00:09:06,714 I ran across an interesting Fact the other day. 172 00:09:06,747 --> 00:09:09,850 You know if I took A ride in a spaceship 173 00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:12,219 At the speed of light For 10 years, 174 00:09:12,252 --> 00:09:14,221 When I returned, I'd be 10 years older, 175 00:09:14,254 --> 00:09:16,590 But everybody else here Would be 80 years older. 176 00:09:16,624 --> 00:09:20,594 Now, do you realize The ramifications of that? 177 00:09:20,628 --> 00:09:25,065 Yeah, for once You'd be the best player On our softball team. 178 00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:27,701 I just can't discuss Science with you. 179 00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:30,738 Cliff, cliff, give me A break. Hey. 180 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:32,873 Carla. 181 00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:34,942 Nick. 182 00:09:34,975 --> 00:09:36,677 Long time no see. 183 00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:38,746 You do something To your hair? 184 00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:39,913 No. 185 00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:41,649 Think about it. 186 00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:47,020 Nick, be a cannibal-- Eat a rat. 187 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:51,358 The magic Is still there, carla. 188 00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:52,860 Whatever happened Between us? 189 00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:56,063 You lied, you cheated, You neglected the kids, 190 00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,665 You never came home, And you drank too much. 191 00:09:57,698 --> 00:09:59,933 Nah. It had to be more Than that. 192 00:10:03,871 --> 00:10:06,740 Say the word, blondie, And we can happen. 193 00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:13,647 I'd rather be The love toy 194 00:10:13,681 --> 00:10:16,383 Of a greek Army battalion. 195 00:10:16,416 --> 00:10:18,118 Who wouldn't? 196 00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:22,422 But dreaming Gets you nowhere. 197 00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,091 Nicky! 198 00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:26,660 Loretta. I've Decided to forgive you 199 00:10:26,694 --> 00:10:30,964 For bursting in on me And miss romero in the shower. 200 00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:33,000 I'm sorry, nicky. 201 00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:35,135 You oughta be. It was very embarrassing. 202 00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:36,203 Let's go home. 203 00:10:36,236 --> 00:10:37,237 Ok. 204 00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:38,872 Be strong. 205 00:10:38,906 --> 00:10:41,809 I mean...No. 206 00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:48,148 That sounded Negative to me. 207 00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:50,117 I'm here for you. 208 00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,319 I'm not going home With you. 209 00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:54,321 I'm leaving you, nick. 210 00:10:54,354 --> 00:10:56,924 Ah, get in the car, Sugar lump. 211 00:10:56,957 --> 00:10:58,191 Don't make me mad, now. 212 00:10:58,225 --> 00:10:59,727 Hey, nick, why don't you Leave her alone? 213 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:01,829 Sam, she's Coming home with me. 214 00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:04,998 In case you've forgotten, She is my betrothed. 215 00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:09,169 She doesn't want to go Back to him. Help her. 216 00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:10,704 Nick, come on. Beat it. 217 00:11:10,738 --> 00:11:12,372 She doesn't want To be around you now. 218 00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:15,208 Sam, buddy, it's not A good thing for them To see us fighting here. 219 00:11:15,242 --> 00:11:18,846 These people, They look up to us. We're role models. 220 00:11:20,781 --> 00:11:23,984 Then don't Make me ask again. 221 00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:26,019 Ok, ok, I'm not Looking for trouble. 222 00:11:26,053 --> 00:11:27,387 But mark my words-- 223 00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:30,023 I'm coming back For my woman. 224 00:11:30,057 --> 00:11:33,093 Oh, sam, You stood up for me. 225 00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:35,062 Nobody's ever done That for me before. 226 00:11:35,095 --> 00:11:36,329 Huh? Oh. 227 00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:38,298 Sam, I'm aghast. 228 00:11:38,331 --> 00:11:39,833 What? 229 00:11:39,867 --> 00:11:41,334 You of all people. 230 00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,771 Have you no respect For our blessed union? 231 00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:45,739 Oh, come on, nick. 232 00:11:45,773 --> 00:11:47,040 There's nothing Going on here. 233 00:11:47,074 --> 00:11:48,842 I'm not interested In loretta. 234 00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:50,477 I got one thing To say to you, sam-- 235 00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:54,014 Two can play the same game. 236 00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:56,116 You took my woman... 237 00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:03,090 I'm going to take yours. 238 00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:07,094 Me? You're taking me? 239 00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:10,363 The only thing You should be taking Is penicillin. 240 00:12:12,432 --> 00:12:15,268 This is great. Nick's Gonna cast a love spell 241 00:12:15,302 --> 00:12:18,271 On miss goody-two-shoes And I get to watch. 242 00:12:18,305 --> 00:12:21,875 Actually, I'm not gonna Make my romantic Approach tonight. 243 00:12:21,909 --> 00:12:24,011 It's getting Too late for that. 244 00:12:24,044 --> 00:12:28,748 Ah, yes. Goodness, Look at the time. 245 00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,888 Time... 246 00:12:34,922 --> 00:12:38,792 Time to lay back. 247 00:12:38,826 --> 00:12:43,396 Time to forget Your inhibitions. 248 00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:45,999 This is diabolical. 249 00:12:46,033 --> 00:12:47,434 From this day forward, 250 00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:49,937 There will be Nobody for you but me. 251 00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:52,505 You will fall Hopelessly in love 252 00:12:52,539 --> 00:12:56,443 And follow me To the ends of the earth. 253 00:12:58,145 --> 00:13:01,915 Oh, yeah. And bring a six-pack. 254 00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:07,888 God, the man Is insane to think 255 00:13:07,921 --> 00:13:09,823 That anyone would be Gullible enough 256 00:13:09,857 --> 00:13:12,525 To fall for that Idiotic nonsense. 257 00:13:34,982 --> 00:13:37,384 [piano playing] 258 00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:39,252 [light applause] 259 00:13:39,286 --> 00:13:43,256 Thank you. Thank you. You've Been a wonderful audience. 260 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,060 Expecting someone, Diane? 261 00:13:47,094 --> 00:13:49,362 No, not really. 262 00:13:49,396 --> 00:13:51,865 Sure you are. 263 00:13:51,899 --> 00:13:53,366 He's out there Somewhere... 264 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,502 Waiting. 265 00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:59,072 I've heard So much about nick Tortelli's magic, 266 00:13:59,106 --> 00:14:02,442 But it's been a week And I haven't seen Any evidence of it. 267 00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:05,412 Well, don't you see What he's doing? It's all part of his plan. 268 00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:08,515 You know, like When the drums stop In a jungle movie? 269 00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:11,218 You sit and wonder, 270 00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:14,554 What are the natives doing? 271 00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:17,891 And then You start to sweat. 272 00:14:17,925 --> 00:14:19,592 He's a genius. 273 00:14:19,626 --> 00:14:22,262 [incoming whistle] 274 00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:24,064 [imitates explosion] 275 00:14:26,299 --> 00:14:28,468 Woody, I refuse To continue playing 276 00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:30,037 If every time you take One of my pieces you go... 277 00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:31,538 [incoming whistle] 278 00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:33,106 [imitates explosion] 279 00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:34,574 Sorry, dr. Crane. I thought it added 280 00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:36,076 A little bit of excitement To the game. 281 00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:37,077 Well, it doesn't! 282 00:14:39,512 --> 00:14:42,115 Ok, woody. 283 00:14:42,149 --> 00:14:44,551 You know, I think it's Time we took off the gloves. 284 00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:48,588 I've allowed you To defeat me several times 285 00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:50,590 Because I was Going easy on you 286 00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:53,293 So as not to crush Your natural enthusiasm. 287 00:14:53,326 --> 00:14:55,062 But I think it's time 288 00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:58,131 You took a giant step Toward maturity. 289 00:14:58,165 --> 00:15:00,433 There are a great Many lessons to be Learned in defeat. 290 00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:03,003 Chief among them Is how to lose gracefully. 291 00:15:06,173 --> 00:15:07,407 Checkmate. 292 00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,642 Arrgghh! 293 00:15:09,676 --> 00:15:10,978 You missed my king! 294 00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:11,979 Arrgghhh! 295 00:15:12,012 --> 00:15:13,446 [incoming whistle] 296 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:14,581 [imitates explosion] 297 00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:17,217 Dr. Crane! 298 00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:22,589 Good night, loretta. 299 00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:24,257 Good night. Thanks, sam. 300 00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:26,626 Mm-hmm. 301 00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:29,529 Never again does She sing in this bar. 302 00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:32,199 Yes, dear. 303 00:15:35,702 --> 00:15:40,107 You know, sammy, I know you kind of like diane. 304 00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:42,142 But you're going To have to face it. 305 00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:43,476 She's his now. 306 00:15:43,510 --> 00:15:45,678 Oh, come on, Will you stop it. 307 00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:49,016 Nick and diane, They don't even belong On the same planet. 308 00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:51,251 The guy doesn't have Any table manners. 309 00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:53,353 I mean, he thinks he's God's gift to women. 310 00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:56,256 When was the last time He even picked up a book? 311 00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:58,425 How's that Different from you, sam? 312 00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:02,029 All right, well-- There's a big difference 313 00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:04,998 There's a big difference Between thinking Your god's gift 314 00:16:05,032 --> 00:16:06,533 And knowing it. 315 00:16:10,237 --> 00:16:13,440 You know, sammy, I think Nick is getting to you. 316 00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,375 Why? You think I'm Worried about this? You kidding? 317 00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:16,676 Uh-huh. Well, look at this. 318 00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:18,178 You added These receipts all wrong. 319 00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:19,512 I did not. 320 00:16:19,546 --> 00:16:23,450 Then you're saying we took in $32 million tonight? 321 00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:26,386 Well, there was that party Of 10 in the corner table. 322 00:16:26,419 --> 00:16:29,322 Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna go add these On the machine, ok? 323 00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:30,623 Maybe you better. 324 00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,259 Uh... 325 00:16:32,292 --> 00:16:34,594 Diane, I'm going home now 326 00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:37,397 And watch the last half Of the celtics game, All right? 327 00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:39,432 Ok, sam. 328 00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:40,467 See you in the morning. 329 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:43,436 Ok. I'll be Dreaming of you. 330 00:16:43,470 --> 00:16:45,638 I'll be dreaming Of me, too. 331 00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,146 Closing! 332 00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:11,298 Good evening, miss chambers. 333 00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:13,700 Nick. 334 00:17:13,733 --> 00:17:15,402 You'd better be here 335 00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:17,237 To tell me that You've given up 336 00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:19,472 Your quest To win my favor. 337 00:17:19,506 --> 00:17:20,740 Please, 338 00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:22,442 Miss chambers. 339 00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:24,744 This is for you 340 00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:26,446 And you alone, 341 00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:28,348 My sweet. 342 00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:29,449 [whistles] 343 00:17:31,184 --> 00:17:34,121 [violins play "As time goes by"] 344 00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:44,164 God, you've gotta be Kidding. 345 00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:46,766 In matters of amore, Nick tortelli never kids. 346 00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:47,867 Sit. 347 00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:50,470 I am not a dog. 348 00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:53,240 Of course you're not. Do you think I'd spend This kind of dough on an ugh-o? 349 00:17:54,807 --> 00:17:56,776 Now, come on. 350 00:17:56,809 --> 00:17:59,579 We have a night Of magic ahead of us. 351 00:17:59,612 --> 00:18:01,648 Let us commence. 352 00:18:01,681 --> 00:18:03,650 Nick, there will Be no dinner, 353 00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:05,652 No magic, no us. 354 00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:07,754 You and I Have to talk. 355 00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:09,322 Now, please. Sit down. 356 00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:12,592 Ok. 357 00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:15,162 [snaps fingers] 358 00:18:22,835 --> 00:18:24,304 Nick. 359 00:18:25,372 --> 00:18:27,840 Will you give up On me. 360 00:18:27,874 --> 00:18:31,178 You and I are An impossibility. 361 00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:34,147 The only thing You instill in me Is the desire to flee... 362 00:18:36,383 --> 00:18:38,785 And then to be defleaed. 363 00:18:42,255 --> 00:18:45,858 I'm sensing that We're not gonna hit The sheets together. 364 00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:50,330 That is correct. 365 00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:51,464 Save it. 366 00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:56,269 Why are you wasting Your time on this? 367 00:18:56,303 --> 00:18:57,704 Loretta's The woman for you. 368 00:18:57,737 --> 00:19:00,207 She's spending all Of her time with sam. 369 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,775 Women can't Get their eyes Off of that guy. 370 00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:06,379 I guess In his own way He's good-looking. 371 00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:09,616 Well, nick, You're every bit as... 372 00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:11,884 Mistaken as you can be. 373 00:19:14,287 --> 00:19:16,623 Sam and loretta Are not an item. 374 00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,291 Sam is mine, 375 00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:20,693 So why don't you do Something decent for once 376 00:19:20,727 --> 00:19:23,496 And go back and make Your marriage work. 377 00:19:23,530 --> 00:19:24,664 Get up. Get up. Get up. 378 00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:26,333 What's going on here? 379 00:19:26,366 --> 00:19:28,735 Surprise! 380 00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:30,237 [playing "As time goes by"] 381 00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:36,876 I just came because I forgot my charts. 382 00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:38,878 Is this all for me? 383 00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:40,580 Of course it's for you. 384 00:19:40,613 --> 00:19:43,583 It's my attempt to win You back into my heart. 385 00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:44,884 Am I right, Miss chambers? 386 00:19:44,917 --> 00:19:46,519 Oh, yes, yes. 387 00:19:46,553 --> 00:19:48,455 He's really a sweet guy, Isn't he, loretta? 388 00:19:48,488 --> 00:19:50,457 He sure is. 389 00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:52,259 Yeah. If he weren't Already taken, 390 00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:54,494 I'd snap him up For myself. 391 00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:58,465 Well, I'll leave you two Lovebirds alone. 392 00:19:58,498 --> 00:19:59,999 I'm just going In the back To freshen up. 393 00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:03,002 I'll be out of here In just a few minutes. 394 00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:05,272 I really like That debbie. 395 00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:11,244 Uh...Loretta, 396 00:20:11,278 --> 00:20:13,713 If I have caused you Any heartache, 397 00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:15,282 I want to say I'm sorry, 398 00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:16,616 But I really Do love you, 399 00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:17,917 And I know You love me. 400 00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:20,520 And it's crazy For us not to Be together. 401 00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:23,856 You're the only Woman on earth For me. 402 00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:27,660 How come the cake Says "Nick and diane"? 403 00:20:27,694 --> 00:20:29,496 Excuse me? 404 00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:33,600 How come the cake Says "Nick and diane"? 405 00:20:33,633 --> 00:20:35,968 You know what A lousy speller I am. 406 00:20:36,002 --> 00:20:37,870 Oh. 407 00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:39,372 Right. 408 00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:45,578 But wait. 409 00:20:45,612 --> 00:20:47,347 That's pretty bad. 410 00:20:52,319 --> 00:20:55,054 This wasn't for me After all, was it? 411 00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:57,957 This was for Some girl named diane! 412 00:20:57,990 --> 00:20:59,892 All right, all right. 413 00:20:59,926 --> 00:21:01,494 It's no use. 414 00:21:01,528 --> 00:21:03,363 We're through forever. 415 00:21:05,865 --> 00:21:07,834 If you ever Need a singer, 416 00:21:07,867 --> 00:21:09,268 I'm available For any gig. 417 00:21:11,904 --> 00:21:13,340 Cut it. 418 00:21:14,907 --> 00:21:16,509 Nick. 419 00:21:16,543 --> 00:21:17,777 Carla. 420 00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:21,514 [playing "As time goes by"] 421 00:21:23,049 --> 00:21:25,084 What's all this? 422 00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:27,354 This is for you, My sweet. 423 00:21:28,555 --> 00:21:30,823 All this is for me? 424 00:21:30,857 --> 00:21:32,559 Yeah. 425 00:21:32,592 --> 00:21:35,362 If this is not An attempt at Reconciliation, 426 00:21:35,395 --> 00:21:37,830 I don't know What is. 427 00:21:37,864 --> 00:21:39,499 This is. 428 00:21:43,069 --> 00:21:44,804 You don't Believe me? 429 00:21:47,073 --> 00:21:49,542 Whose lipstick Is on the glass? 430 00:21:49,576 --> 00:21:50,710 What? 431 00:21:50,743 --> 00:21:52,812 I'm gonna have The caterer flogged. 432 00:21:52,845 --> 00:21:54,547 Good night, nick. 433 00:21:54,581 --> 00:21:57,884 I hope you guys got Your money up front. 434 00:22:04,891 --> 00:22:06,058 Nick? 435 00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:15,001 Diane. Diane, look How fate once again 436 00:22:15,034 --> 00:22:17,570 Has brought us Together this evening. 437 00:22:17,604 --> 00:22:19,539 Excuse me if I don't get up for you. 438 00:22:21,741 --> 00:22:23,376 Where's loretta? 439 00:22:23,410 --> 00:22:26,546 I don't know. She got up And ran out on me. 440 00:22:26,579 --> 00:22:28,815 Apparently She didn't like the cake. 441 00:22:28,848 --> 00:22:29,882 Nick. 442 00:22:29,916 --> 00:22:31,584 Do yourself a favor. 443 00:22:31,618 --> 00:22:34,086 Get up out Of that chair, 444 00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:35,588 March out That door-- 445 00:22:35,622 --> 00:22:36,989 Do you mind? 446 00:22:37,023 --> 00:22:39,892 March out that door, 447 00:22:39,926 --> 00:22:41,594 Find your wife, 448 00:22:41,628 --> 00:22:42,595 Take her In your arms, 449 00:22:42,629 --> 00:22:45,097 Sweep her up Off her feet 450 00:22:45,131 --> 00:22:47,600 And tell her That if our hearts 451 00:22:47,634 --> 00:22:50,102 Cannot be as one For all eternity, 452 00:22:50,136 --> 00:22:52,572 Life will have Lost all meaning. 453 00:22:52,605 --> 00:22:55,775 Ok, I'll do that. 454 00:22:55,808 --> 00:22:57,577 That's it, boys. You're off the clock. 455 00:22:57,610 --> 00:22:59,579 Find your own ways home. 456 00:23:00,947 --> 00:23:02,582 Loretta! 457 00:23:07,487 --> 00:23:09,522 Did I miss Something here? 458 00:23:11,023 --> 00:23:12,692 Men. 459 00:23:12,725 --> 00:23:14,927 They're so stupid. 460 00:23:14,961 --> 00:23:16,696 What are you Doing here? 461 00:23:16,729 --> 00:23:19,832 Oh, well, I thought It was more important 462 00:23:19,866 --> 00:23:22,935 For me to be here with you Than watching some silly Old basketball game. 463 00:23:22,969 --> 00:23:24,070 Your tv's broken? 464 00:23:24,103 --> 00:23:25,438 Yeah. 465 00:23:28,675 --> 00:23:32,044 This whole thing is so Sad. Really, very sad. 466 00:23:32,078 --> 00:23:34,814 It's all right. It's under warranty. It'll be ok. 467 00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:39,486 No. I'm talking About life. 468 00:23:39,519 --> 00:23:41,053 Oh, oh, oh, yeah. 469 00:23:41,087 --> 00:23:44,657 How a good woman Can make all the Difference in the world 470 00:23:44,691 --> 00:23:47,627 And yet men are constantly Letting them slip away. 471 00:23:47,660 --> 00:23:48,961 Mm. 472 00:23:51,698 --> 00:23:55,167 I hope you don't let That happen to you-- 473 00:23:55,201 --> 00:23:58,971 A certain Flaxen-haired beauty In your life. 474 00:23:59,005 --> 00:24:00,907 Don't worry. 475 00:24:00,940 --> 00:24:02,675 I won't. 476 00:24:05,578 --> 00:24:07,580 [snaps fingers] 477 00:24:07,614 --> 00:24:11,684 [playing "As time goes by"] 33362

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