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1
00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:05,139
Carla: "Cheers" is filmed
Before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:07,075 --> 00:00:09,710
Are you, uh, are you going to
Make a move in our lifetime?
3
00:00:09,743 --> 00:00:12,613
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
4
00:00:12,646 --> 00:00:15,416
Oh, come on, norm, why don't you
Just give up. You're finished.
5
00:00:15,449 --> 00:00:18,619
Oh, not necessarily.
He could move this
Piece over to here.
6
00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:22,656
My god, woody,
That's brilliant.
7
00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:25,626
You're suggesting
That after two
Futile interpositions,
8
00:00:25,659 --> 00:00:29,063
He attempt to force unobstructed
Access to the eighth rank.
9
00:00:29,097 --> 00:00:31,065
No, I'm saying he
Should take your horsie
10
00:00:31,099 --> 00:00:32,333
With his little
Pointy-headed thing.
11
00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:37,105
No, not that one.
12
00:00:37,138 --> 00:00:38,539
Too late. Checkmate!
13
00:00:38,572 --> 00:00:40,474
Ha ha ha!
Good game, norm.
14
00:00:40,508 --> 00:00:42,243
Ok, next victim.
15
00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:45,146
What's with this obsession
With chess here, huh?
16
00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:47,515
It's just a hobby, sam.
You know, relieve the tension.
17
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:49,417
I got a better way
To relieve tension--
18
00:00:49,450 --> 00:00:51,585
Her name's tawney.
You want her number?
19
00:00:51,619 --> 00:00:53,654
No, thanks, sam.
20
00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:56,257
I prefer something with a little
Mental stimulation as well.
21
00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:58,426
So read
To her first.
22
00:01:00,128 --> 00:01:02,763
No, thanks.
I'll stick to chess.
23
00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:05,666
You know, that and fencing
Were my two outlets
During college.
24
00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:07,768
Oh, boy, fencing.
25
00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:10,138
I haven't had
The old epee out in years.
26
00:01:10,171 --> 00:01:12,240
Boy, that'd make me
Pretty tense, too.
27
00:01:18,446 --> 00:01:20,881
* makin' your way
In the world today *
28
00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:24,218
* takes everything
You've got *
29
00:01:24,252 --> 00:01:26,654
* takin' a break
From all your worries *
30
00:01:26,687 --> 00:01:28,789
* sure would
Help a lot *
31
00:01:30,258 --> 00:01:33,161
* wouldn't you like
To get away *
32
00:01:36,164 --> 00:01:38,166
* sometimes
You wanna go *
33
00:01:38,199 --> 00:01:41,202
* where everybody
Knows your name *
34
00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:47,775
* and they're always
Glad you came *
35
00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:50,411
* you wanna be
Where you can see *
36
00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:52,746
* our troubles
Are all the same *
37
00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:54,315
* you wanna be
38
00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:56,884
* where everybody
Knows your name *
39
00:01:58,352 --> 00:02:00,854
* you wanna go
Where people know *
40
00:02:00,888 --> 00:02:03,224
* people are
All the same *
41
00:02:03,257 --> 00:02:04,392
* you wanna go
42
00:02:04,425 --> 00:02:07,661
* where everybody
Knows your name *
43
00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:27,315
Mind if I play,
Dr. Crane?
44
00:02:27,348 --> 00:02:29,850
Not at all, woody. I've thrashed
Everybody else in the bar.
45
00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:33,521
You may as well
Be allowed your chance
At ignominious defeat.
46
00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:35,923
Well, thank you,
Dr. Crane.
47
00:02:35,956 --> 00:02:38,526
[sobbing]
48
00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:43,331
Hi, sam.
49
00:02:43,364 --> 00:02:45,833
Hi, lor--are you
All right, loretta?
50
00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:47,735
I'm fine. And you?
51
00:02:49,537 --> 00:02:51,339
Oh, I'm fine.
52
00:02:51,372 --> 00:02:52,940
That's nice to hear.
53
00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:55,276
Is carla
Working tonight?
54
00:02:55,309 --> 00:02:57,311
Yeah. She's
Right over there.
55
00:02:57,345 --> 00:02:58,746
Thank you, sam.
56
00:02:58,779 --> 00:03:02,416
It's been nice
Talking with you.
57
00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:06,954
Excuse me, carla,
But I caught nick
Cheating on me,
58
00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:09,390
And I've decided
To leave him.
59
00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:13,627
So you finally found out
My ex-husband is a jerk?
60
00:03:13,661 --> 00:03:15,896
Well, I told you that
Before you married the bum.
61
00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:18,499
I've done my part.
62
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:23,437
Carla. Don't ignore her
In her time of need.
63
00:03:23,471 --> 00:03:26,574
Can't you tell
When a woman is dying?
64
00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:29,977
Sure. When the roots
Start showing--like that.
65
00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:36,750
Want a drink?
66
00:03:36,784 --> 00:03:38,452
A diet cola
Would be wonderful.
67
00:03:38,486 --> 00:03:39,620
Ok.
68
00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:45,693
Look, kid, I'm sorry
This happened to you.
69
00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:48,562
Oh, thank you,
Carla. Thank you.
70
00:03:48,596 --> 00:03:50,731
I'm moved
Beyond recognition.
71
00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:55,769
How long did it take you
To mend your broken heart?
72
00:03:55,803 --> 00:03:57,371
I'll let you know
When it happens.
73
00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:06,480
Loretta, would you
Like to talk about it?
74
00:04:06,514 --> 00:04:07,848
Not really.
75
00:04:10,518 --> 00:04:12,486
To come home
And find out
76
00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:14,922
That a loved one
Has been unfaithful
77
00:04:14,955 --> 00:04:16,890
Is a terrible blow.
78
00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:18,592
The best therapy
79
00:04:18,626 --> 00:04:21,429
Is to tell how
You feel about it.
80
00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:22,763
I'm against it.
81
00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:28,035
All right, diane,
You've got your catharsis,
82
00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:29,470
Now leave
The girl alone.
83
00:04:29,503 --> 00:04:32,306
Well, at least
I'm trying to help.
84
00:04:32,340 --> 00:04:34,642
You're merely
Trying to figure out
85
00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:37,745
Why your king's
About to be mated.
86
00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:39,547
Oh, my god.
87
00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:42,850
Woody, you must
Be an idiot savant.
88
00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:45,919
Yeah, but I cover it
By smiling a lot.
89
00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:53,561
Come on, loretta.
Don't hold it inside.
90
00:04:53,594 --> 00:04:56,964
Well, nick,
Who is my husband,
91
00:04:56,997 --> 00:04:59,099
Has been seeing
Another woman.
92
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:01,335
I just realized
It today
93
00:05:01,369 --> 00:05:03,737
When I found
Blond hairs
On nick's shirt.
94
00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:08,576
Loretta,
You're a blonde.
95
00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:11,945
Sure. Take his side.
96
00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:14,348
Would you
Excuse us, please?
97
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,589
Look, it's closing time.
98
00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:24,792
Loretta needs someone
To confide in right now.
99
00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,527
Sam, why don't you
Go on home
100
00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:28,929
And we ladies
Will take care of her.
101
00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:31,031
What is
This "We" bit?
102
00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:34,402
I feel strongly that
It's our duty as women
103
00:05:34,435 --> 00:05:38,539
To be there for another woman
When she wants to talk.
104
00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:40,874
Just as I feel strongly
That it's my duty as a man
105
00:05:40,908 --> 00:05:42,843
To be there for a woman
When she doesn't
Want to talk.
106
00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:43,644
Same kind of thing.
107
00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:50,050
We'll miss that kind
Of poignancy, sam.
108
00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:51,552
What do you say,
We do it?
109
00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:53,887
Oh, all right.
But only because
No living thing
110
00:05:53,921 --> 00:05:57,057
Should be subjected
To a night alone
With you.
111
00:05:57,090 --> 00:06:00,027
That's the spirit.
112
00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:01,595
Let's wrap it up, guys.
113
00:06:01,629 --> 00:06:03,564
Oh. Oh, well, all right, sam.
114
00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:05,399
We can finish this up
Tomorrow, woody.
115
00:06:05,433 --> 00:06:07,401
Who's winning now,
Dr. Crane?
116
00:06:07,435 --> 00:06:09,870
Oh, what does
It matter who's winning?
117
00:06:13,607 --> 00:06:15,609
We'll just start up
Fresh tomorrow, ok?
118
00:06:15,643 --> 00:06:17,411
All right.
119
00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:29,857
Oh, carla,
I still love him.
120
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:32,059
Nothing you can do.
121
00:06:32,092 --> 00:06:34,061
We're talking about
Nick tortelli.
122
00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:37,531
He wants you,
You got no choice.
123
00:06:37,565 --> 00:06:41,201
This is the part
I don't get.
124
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:44,071
Here's a man that
Quicksand would spit up...
125
00:06:46,874 --> 00:06:48,642
And yet he has
126
00:06:48,676 --> 00:06:51,712
This strange svengali-like
Power over you.
127
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:55,616
Oh, yes. From
The moment I first saw him,
128
00:06:55,649 --> 00:06:58,886
I knew I'd follow him
To the ends of the earth.
129
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:01,722
Where he's obviously
Spent a lot of time.
130
00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:06,494
You know, there's
Something about him.
131
00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:10,197
He knows women,
Like a jeweler
Knows jewels,
132
00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:12,132
Like a meat-cutter
Knows meat.
133
00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:15,435
Like a marine biologist
Knows marines.
134
00:07:23,511 --> 00:07:26,246
Knowing me
As well as I do,
135
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:29,216
I'll probably end up
Crawling right back to him.
136
00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:31,151
Yeah, and he'll
Be there waiting
137
00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:33,754
With that cute look
On his face
138
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,589
And those three
Little words--
139
00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:37,457
"She's my cousin!"
140
00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:44,131
You're not
Crawling back to him.
141
00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:45,633
We're gonna fight this
Together.
142
00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:47,668
You don't need
That reptile.
143
00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:49,069
You can take care
Of yourself.
144
00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:50,671
But what'll I do?
145
00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:53,574
Well, you must be
Good at something.
146
00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:56,977
Well...
I'm great at singing.
147
00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:58,512
Ok.
148
00:07:58,546 --> 00:08:00,648
In fact,
Before I married nick,
149
00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:02,750
I was on my way
To becoming
150
00:08:02,783 --> 00:08:04,117
A taller, blonder,
151
00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:06,386
Less mormon marie osmond.
152
00:08:10,257 --> 00:08:12,125
Loretta, if nick's going
To treat you this way,
153
00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:15,295
You can't let him
Come between you
And your career.
154
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:18,999
You're right.
I've got to sing again.
155
00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:21,268
Do you think sam
Would let me sing here?
156
00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:24,104
Let me take care of it.
I can talk him
Into anything.
157
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,877
No, diane, I told you,
Absolutely not.
158
00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:33,647
I wish you'd reconsider.
Loretta needs a job.
159
00:08:33,681 --> 00:08:36,116
And you've never
Had a singer before.
160
00:08:36,149 --> 00:08:37,751
Oh, I've had a singer.
161
00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:42,055
You probably mean...
162
00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:44,124
Yes, in the bar.
163
00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:45,325
Right.
164
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:46,560
It might
Be good for business.
165
00:08:46,594 --> 00:08:48,328
Yeah--uh...
166
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,297
I don't need a singer.
167
00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:52,065
Can you waitress?
168
00:08:52,099 --> 00:08:55,736
No, but I can do a salute
To waitresses in my act.
169
00:08:57,605 --> 00:09:00,574
It's only temporary until
She can get back on her feet.
170
00:09:00,608 --> 00:09:02,142
Ok, all right. Ok.
171
00:09:03,811 --> 00:09:06,714
I ran across an interesting
Fact the other day.
172
00:09:06,747 --> 00:09:09,850
You know if I took
A ride in a spaceship
173
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:12,219
At the speed of light
For 10 years,
174
00:09:12,252 --> 00:09:14,221
When I returned,
I'd be 10 years older,
175
00:09:14,254 --> 00:09:16,590
But everybody else here
Would be 80 years older.
176
00:09:16,624 --> 00:09:20,594
Now, do you realize
The ramifications of that?
177
00:09:20,628 --> 00:09:25,065
Yeah, for once
You'd be the best player
On our softball team.
178
00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:27,701
I just can't discuss
Science with you.
179
00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:30,738
Cliff, cliff, give me
A break. Hey.
180
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:32,873
Carla.
181
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:34,942
Nick.
182
00:09:34,975 --> 00:09:36,677
Long time no see.
183
00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:38,746
You do something
To your hair?
184
00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:39,913
No.
185
00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:41,649
Think about it.
186
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:47,020
Nick, be a cannibal--
Eat a rat.
187
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:51,358
The magic
Is still there, carla.
188
00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:52,860
Whatever happened
Between us?
189
00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:56,063
You lied, you cheated,
You neglected the kids,
190
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,665
You never came home,
And you drank too much.
191
00:09:57,698 --> 00:09:59,933
Nah. It had to be more
Than that.
192
00:10:03,871 --> 00:10:06,740
Say the word, blondie,
And we can happen.
193
00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:13,647
I'd rather be
The love toy
194
00:10:13,681 --> 00:10:16,383
Of a greek
Army battalion.
195
00:10:16,416 --> 00:10:18,118
Who wouldn't?
196
00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:22,422
But dreaming
Gets you nowhere.
197
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,091
Nicky!
198
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:26,660
Loretta. I've
Decided to forgive you
199
00:10:26,694 --> 00:10:30,964
For bursting in on me
And miss romero in the shower.
200
00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:33,000
I'm sorry, nicky.
201
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:35,135
You oughta be.
It was very embarrassing.
202
00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:36,203
Let's go home.
203
00:10:36,236 --> 00:10:37,237
Ok.
204
00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:38,872
Be strong.
205
00:10:38,906 --> 00:10:41,809
I mean...No.
206
00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:48,148
That sounded
Negative to me.
207
00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:50,117
I'm here for you.
208
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,319
I'm not going home
With you.
209
00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:54,321
I'm leaving you, nick.
210
00:10:54,354 --> 00:10:56,924
Ah, get in the car,
Sugar lump.
211
00:10:56,957 --> 00:10:58,191
Don't make me mad, now.
212
00:10:58,225 --> 00:10:59,727
Hey, nick, why don't you
Leave her alone?
213
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:01,829
Sam, she's
Coming home with me.
214
00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:04,998
In case you've forgotten,
She is my betrothed.
215
00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:09,169
She doesn't want to go
Back to him. Help her.
216
00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:10,704
Nick, come on. Beat it.
217
00:11:10,738 --> 00:11:12,372
She doesn't want
To be around you now.
218
00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:15,208
Sam, buddy, it's not
A good thing for them
To see us fighting here.
219
00:11:15,242 --> 00:11:18,846
These people,
They look up to us.
We're role models.
220
00:11:20,781 --> 00:11:23,984
Then don't
Make me ask again.
221
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:26,019
Ok, ok, I'm not
Looking for trouble.
222
00:11:26,053 --> 00:11:27,387
But mark my words--
223
00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:30,023
I'm coming back
For my woman.
224
00:11:30,057 --> 00:11:33,093
Oh, sam,
You stood up for me.
225
00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:35,062
Nobody's ever done
That for me before.
226
00:11:35,095 --> 00:11:36,329
Huh? Oh.
227
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:38,298
Sam, I'm aghast.
228
00:11:38,331 --> 00:11:39,833
What?
229
00:11:39,867 --> 00:11:41,334
You of all people.
230
00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,771
Have you no respect
For our blessed union?
231
00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:45,739
Oh, come on, nick.
232
00:11:45,773 --> 00:11:47,040
There's nothing
Going on here.
233
00:11:47,074 --> 00:11:48,842
I'm not interested
In loretta.
234
00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:50,477
I got one thing
To say to you, sam--
235
00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:54,014
Two can play the same game.
236
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:56,116
You took my woman...
237
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:03,090
I'm going to take yours.
238
00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:07,094
Me? You're taking me?
239
00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:10,363
The only thing
You should be taking
Is penicillin.
240
00:12:12,432 --> 00:12:15,268
This is great. Nick's
Gonna cast a love spell
241
00:12:15,302 --> 00:12:18,271
On miss goody-two-shoes
And I get to watch.
242
00:12:18,305 --> 00:12:21,875
Actually, I'm not gonna
Make my romantic
Approach tonight.
243
00:12:21,909 --> 00:12:24,011
It's getting
Too late for that.
244
00:12:24,044 --> 00:12:28,748
Ah, yes. Goodness,
Look at the time.
245
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,888
Time...
246
00:12:34,922 --> 00:12:38,792
Time to lay back.
247
00:12:38,826 --> 00:12:43,396
Time to forget
Your inhibitions.
248
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:45,999
This is diabolical.
249
00:12:46,033 --> 00:12:47,434
From this day forward,
250
00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:49,937
There will be
Nobody for you but me.
251
00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:52,505
You will fall
Hopelessly in love
252
00:12:52,539 --> 00:12:56,443
And follow me
To the ends of the earth.
253
00:12:58,145 --> 00:13:01,915
Oh, yeah.
And bring a six-pack.
254
00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:07,888
God, the man
Is insane to think
255
00:13:07,921 --> 00:13:09,823
That anyone would be
Gullible enough
256
00:13:09,857 --> 00:13:12,525
To fall for that
Idiotic nonsense.
257
00:13:34,982 --> 00:13:37,384
[piano playing]
258
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:39,252
[light applause]
259
00:13:39,286 --> 00:13:43,256
Thank you. Thank you. You've
Been a wonderful audience.
260
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,060
Expecting someone,
Diane?
261
00:13:47,094 --> 00:13:49,362
No, not really.
262
00:13:49,396 --> 00:13:51,865
Sure you are.
263
00:13:51,899 --> 00:13:53,366
He's out there
Somewhere...
264
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,502
Waiting.
265
00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:59,072
I've heard
So much about nick
Tortelli's magic,
266
00:13:59,106 --> 00:14:02,442
But it's been a week
And I haven't seen
Any evidence of it.
267
00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:05,412
Well, don't you see
What he's doing?
It's all part of his plan.
268
00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:08,515
You know, like
When the drums stop
In a jungle movie?
269
00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:11,218
You sit and wonder,
270
00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:14,554
What are the natives doing?
271
00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:17,891
And then
You start to sweat.
272
00:14:17,925 --> 00:14:19,592
He's a genius.
273
00:14:19,626 --> 00:14:22,262
[incoming whistle]
274
00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:24,064
[imitates explosion]
275
00:14:26,299 --> 00:14:28,468
Woody, I refuse
To continue playing
276
00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:30,037
If every time you take
One of my pieces you go...
277
00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:31,538
[incoming whistle]
278
00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:33,106
[imitates explosion]
279
00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:34,574
Sorry, dr. Crane.
I thought it added
280
00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:36,076
A little bit of excitement
To the game.
281
00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:37,077
Well, it doesn't!
282
00:14:39,512 --> 00:14:42,115
Ok, woody.
283
00:14:42,149 --> 00:14:44,551
You know, I think it's
Time we took off the gloves.
284
00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:48,588
I've allowed you
To defeat me several times
285
00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:50,590
Because I was
Going easy on you
286
00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:53,293
So as not to crush
Your natural enthusiasm.
287
00:14:53,326 --> 00:14:55,062
But I think it's time
288
00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:58,131
You took a giant step
Toward maturity.
289
00:14:58,165 --> 00:15:00,433
There are a great
Many lessons to be
Learned in defeat.
290
00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:03,003
Chief among them
Is how to lose gracefully.
291
00:15:06,173 --> 00:15:07,407
Checkmate.
292
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,642
Arrgghh!
293
00:15:09,676 --> 00:15:10,978
You missed my king!
294
00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:11,979
Arrgghhh!
295
00:15:12,012 --> 00:15:13,446
[incoming whistle]
296
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:14,581
[imitates explosion]
297
00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:17,217
Dr. Crane!
298
00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:22,589
Good night, loretta.
299
00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:24,257
Good night.
Thanks, sam.
300
00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:26,626
Mm-hmm.
301
00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:29,529
Never again does
She sing in this bar.
302
00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:32,199
Yes, dear.
303
00:15:35,702 --> 00:15:40,107
You know, sammy,
I know you kind of like diane.
304
00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:42,142
But you're going
To have to face it.
305
00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:43,476
She's his now.
306
00:15:43,510 --> 00:15:45,678
Oh, come on,
Will you stop it.
307
00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:49,016
Nick and diane,
They don't even belong
On the same planet.
308
00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:51,251
The guy doesn't have
Any table manners.
309
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:53,353
I mean, he thinks he's
God's gift to women.
310
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:56,256
When was the last time
He even picked up a book?
311
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:58,425
How's that
Different from you, sam?
312
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:02,029
All right, well--
There's a big difference
313
00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:04,998
There's a big difference
Between thinking
Your god's gift
314
00:16:05,032 --> 00:16:06,533
And knowing it.
315
00:16:10,237 --> 00:16:13,440
You know, sammy, I think
Nick is getting to you.
316
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,375
Why? You think I'm
Worried about this?
You kidding?
317
00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:16,676
Uh-huh. Well, look at this.
318
00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:18,178
You added
These receipts all wrong.
319
00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:19,512
I did not.
320
00:16:19,546 --> 00:16:23,450
Then you're saying we took in
$32 million tonight?
321
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:26,386
Well, there was that party
Of 10 in the corner table.
322
00:16:26,419 --> 00:16:29,322
Yeah, yeah.
I'm gonna go add these
On the machine, ok?
323
00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:30,623
Maybe you better.
324
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,259
Uh...
325
00:16:32,292 --> 00:16:34,594
Diane,
I'm going home now
326
00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:37,397
And watch the last half
Of the celtics game,
All right?
327
00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:39,432
Ok, sam.
328
00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:40,467
See you in the morning.
329
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:43,436
Ok. I'll be
Dreaming of you.
330
00:16:43,470 --> 00:16:45,638
I'll be dreaming
Of me, too.
331
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,146
Closing!
332
00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:11,298
Good evening, miss chambers.
333
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:13,700
Nick.
334
00:17:13,733 --> 00:17:15,402
You'd better be here
335
00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:17,237
To tell me that
You've given up
336
00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:19,472
Your quest
To win my favor.
337
00:17:19,506 --> 00:17:20,740
Please,
338
00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:22,442
Miss chambers.
339
00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:24,744
This is for you
340
00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:26,446
And you alone,
341
00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:28,348
My sweet.
342
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:29,449
[whistles]
343
00:17:31,184 --> 00:17:34,121
[violins play
"As time goes by"]
344
00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:44,164
God, you've gotta be
Kidding.
345
00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:46,766
In matters of amore,
Nick tortelli never kids.
346
00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:47,867
Sit.
347
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:50,470
I am not a dog.
348
00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:53,240
Of course you're not.
Do you think I'd spend
This kind of dough on an ugh-o?
349
00:17:54,807 --> 00:17:56,776
Now, come on.
350
00:17:56,809 --> 00:17:59,579
We have a night
Of magic ahead of us.
351
00:17:59,612 --> 00:18:01,648
Let us commence.
352
00:18:01,681 --> 00:18:03,650
Nick, there will
Be no dinner,
353
00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:05,652
No magic, no us.
354
00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:07,754
You and I
Have to talk.
355
00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:09,322
Now, please.
Sit down.
356
00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:12,592
Ok.
357
00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:15,162
[snaps fingers]
358
00:18:22,835 --> 00:18:24,304
Nick.
359
00:18:25,372 --> 00:18:27,840
Will you give up
On me.
360
00:18:27,874 --> 00:18:31,178
You and I are
An impossibility.
361
00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:34,147
The only thing
You instill in me
Is the desire to flee...
362
00:18:36,383 --> 00:18:38,785
And then to be defleaed.
363
00:18:42,255 --> 00:18:45,858
I'm sensing that
We're not gonna hit
The sheets together.
364
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:50,330
That is correct.
365
00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:51,464
Save it.
366
00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:56,269
Why are you wasting
Your time on this?
367
00:18:56,303 --> 00:18:57,704
Loretta's
The woman for you.
368
00:18:57,737 --> 00:19:00,207
She's spending all
Of her time with sam.
369
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,775
Women can't
Get their eyes
Off of that guy.
370
00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:06,379
I guess
In his own way
He's good-looking.
371
00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:09,616
Well, nick,
You're every bit as...
372
00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:11,884
Mistaken as you can be.
373
00:19:14,287 --> 00:19:16,623
Sam and loretta
Are not an item.
374
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,291
Sam is mine,
375
00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:20,693
So why don't you do
Something decent for once
376
00:19:20,727 --> 00:19:23,496
And go back and make
Your marriage work.
377
00:19:23,530 --> 00:19:24,664
Get up. Get up.
Get up.
378
00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:26,333
What's going on here?
379
00:19:26,366 --> 00:19:28,735
Surprise!
380
00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:30,237
[playing "As time goes by"]
381
00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:36,876
I just came because
I forgot my charts.
382
00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:38,878
Is this all for me?
383
00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:40,580
Of course it's for you.
384
00:19:40,613 --> 00:19:43,583
It's my attempt to win
You back into my heart.
385
00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:44,884
Am I right,
Miss chambers?
386
00:19:44,917 --> 00:19:46,519
Oh, yes, yes.
387
00:19:46,553 --> 00:19:48,455
He's really a sweet guy,
Isn't he, loretta?
388
00:19:48,488 --> 00:19:50,457
He sure is.
389
00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:52,259
Yeah. If he weren't
Already taken,
390
00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:54,494
I'd snap him up
For myself.
391
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:58,465
Well, I'll leave you two
Lovebirds alone.
392
00:19:58,498 --> 00:19:59,999
I'm just going
In the back
To freshen up.
393
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:03,002
I'll be out of here
In just a few minutes.
394
00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:05,272
I really like
That debbie.
395
00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:11,244
Uh...Loretta,
396
00:20:11,278 --> 00:20:13,713
If I have caused you
Any heartache,
397
00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:15,282
I want to say
I'm sorry,
398
00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:16,616
But I really
Do love you,
399
00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:17,917
And I know
You love me.
400
00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:20,520
And it's crazy
For us not to
Be together.
401
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:23,856
You're the only
Woman on earth
For me.
402
00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:27,660
How come the cake
Says "Nick and diane"?
403
00:20:27,694 --> 00:20:29,496
Excuse me?
404
00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:33,600
How come the cake
Says "Nick and diane"?
405
00:20:33,633 --> 00:20:35,968
You know what
A lousy speller I am.
406
00:20:36,002 --> 00:20:37,870
Oh.
407
00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:39,372
Right.
408
00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:45,578
But wait.
409
00:20:45,612 --> 00:20:47,347
That's pretty bad.
410
00:20:52,319 --> 00:20:55,054
This wasn't for me
After all, was it?
411
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:57,957
This was for
Some girl named diane!
412
00:20:57,990 --> 00:20:59,892
All right, all right.
413
00:20:59,926 --> 00:21:01,494
It's no use.
414
00:21:01,528 --> 00:21:03,363
We're through forever.
415
00:21:05,865 --> 00:21:07,834
If you ever
Need a singer,
416
00:21:07,867 --> 00:21:09,268
I'm available
For any gig.
417
00:21:11,904 --> 00:21:13,340
Cut it.
418
00:21:14,907 --> 00:21:16,509
Nick.
419
00:21:16,543 --> 00:21:17,777
Carla.
420
00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:21,514
[playing "As time goes by"]
421
00:21:23,049 --> 00:21:25,084
What's all this?
422
00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:27,354
This is for you,
My sweet.
423
00:21:28,555 --> 00:21:30,823
All this is for me?
424
00:21:30,857 --> 00:21:32,559
Yeah.
425
00:21:32,592 --> 00:21:35,362
If this is not
An attempt at
Reconciliation,
426
00:21:35,395 --> 00:21:37,830
I don't know
What is.
427
00:21:37,864 --> 00:21:39,499
This is.
428
00:21:43,069 --> 00:21:44,804
You don't
Believe me?
429
00:21:47,073 --> 00:21:49,542
Whose lipstick
Is on the glass?
430
00:21:49,576 --> 00:21:50,710
What?
431
00:21:50,743 --> 00:21:52,812
I'm gonna have
The caterer flogged.
432
00:21:52,845 --> 00:21:54,547
Good night, nick.
433
00:21:54,581 --> 00:21:57,884
I hope you guys got
Your money up front.
434
00:22:04,891 --> 00:22:06,058
Nick?
435
00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:15,001
Diane. Diane, look
How fate once again
436
00:22:15,034 --> 00:22:17,570
Has brought us
Together this evening.
437
00:22:17,604 --> 00:22:19,539
Excuse me if
I don't get up for you.
438
00:22:21,741 --> 00:22:23,376
Where's loretta?
439
00:22:23,410 --> 00:22:26,546
I don't know. She got up
And ran out on me.
440
00:22:26,579 --> 00:22:28,815
Apparently
She didn't like the cake.
441
00:22:28,848 --> 00:22:29,882
Nick.
442
00:22:29,916 --> 00:22:31,584
Do yourself a favor.
443
00:22:31,618 --> 00:22:34,086
Get up out
Of that chair,
444
00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:35,588
March out
That door--
445
00:22:35,622 --> 00:22:36,989
Do you mind?
446
00:22:37,023 --> 00:22:39,892
March out that door,
447
00:22:39,926 --> 00:22:41,594
Find your wife,
448
00:22:41,628 --> 00:22:42,595
Take her
In your arms,
449
00:22:42,629 --> 00:22:45,097
Sweep her up
Off her feet
450
00:22:45,131 --> 00:22:47,600
And tell her
That if our hearts
451
00:22:47,634 --> 00:22:50,102
Cannot be as one
For all eternity,
452
00:22:50,136 --> 00:22:52,572
Life will have
Lost all meaning.
453
00:22:52,605 --> 00:22:55,775
Ok, I'll do that.
454
00:22:55,808 --> 00:22:57,577
That's it, boys.
You're off the clock.
455
00:22:57,610 --> 00:22:59,579
Find your own ways home.
456
00:23:00,947 --> 00:23:02,582
Loretta!
457
00:23:07,487 --> 00:23:09,522
Did I miss
Something here?
458
00:23:11,023 --> 00:23:12,692
Men.
459
00:23:12,725 --> 00:23:14,927
They're so stupid.
460
00:23:14,961 --> 00:23:16,696
What are you
Doing here?
461
00:23:16,729 --> 00:23:19,832
Oh, well, I thought
It was more important
462
00:23:19,866 --> 00:23:22,935
For me to be here with you
Than watching some silly
Old basketball game.
463
00:23:22,969 --> 00:23:24,070
Your tv's broken?
464
00:23:24,103 --> 00:23:25,438
Yeah.
465
00:23:28,675 --> 00:23:32,044
This whole thing is so
Sad. Really, very sad.
466
00:23:32,078 --> 00:23:34,814
It's all right.
It's under warranty.
It'll be ok.
467
00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:39,486
No. I'm talking
About life.
468
00:23:39,519 --> 00:23:41,053
Oh, oh, oh, yeah.
469
00:23:41,087 --> 00:23:44,657
How a good woman
Can make all the
Difference in the world
470
00:23:44,691 --> 00:23:47,627
And yet men are constantly
Letting them slip away.
471
00:23:47,660 --> 00:23:48,961
Mm.
472
00:23:51,698 --> 00:23:55,167
I hope you don't let
That happen to you--
473
00:23:55,201 --> 00:23:58,971
A certain
Flaxen-haired beauty
In your life.
474
00:23:59,005 --> 00:24:00,907
Don't worry.
475
00:24:00,940 --> 00:24:02,675
I won't.
476
00:24:05,578 --> 00:24:07,580
[snaps fingers]
477
00:24:07,614 --> 00:24:11,684
[playing "As time goes by"]
33362
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