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1
00:00:03,771 --> 00:00:06,407
"Cheers" is filmed before
A live studio audience.
2
00:00:06,407 --> 00:00:09,510
[tv playing]
3
00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:10,678
[whistling]
4
00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:12,246
Tired of your old job?
5
00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:14,282
Looking for something
New and exciting?
6
00:00:14,282 --> 00:00:17,085
Then how about a career
As a court stenographer?
7
00:00:17,085 --> 00:00:18,519
Through a simple
Six-week course
8
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,621
At the emery school
Of court stenography
9
00:00:20,621 --> 00:00:22,523
You'll learn all
The skills required
10
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:24,958
To become part of
This exciting profession.
11
00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:26,760
Meet great people,
12
00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,196
Work flexible hours,
13
00:00:28,196 --> 00:00:29,963
Earn top money.
14
00:00:29,963 --> 00:00:31,699
All it takes
Is a good ear,
15
00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:33,667
Accuracy, and speed.
16
00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:37,871
Contact the emery school
Of court stenography
17
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:41,575
For you free aptitude test
By calling 555-6119.
18
00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:46,080
That number again,
555-6119.
19
00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:47,648
Don't delay.
20
00:00:47,648 --> 00:00:49,250
To have an exciting career
In court stenography,
21
00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:54,755
Just call 555-6119 now.
22
00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:55,923
5-5-5,
23
00:00:55,923 --> 00:00:58,058
6...
24
00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:01,695
You're listening
To the rocking sounds
Of j.J. Lightning...
25
00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:04,398
[whistling]
26
00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:14,242
* makin' your way
In the world today *
27
00:01:14,242 --> 00:01:16,910
* takes everything
You've got *
28
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:20,013
* takin' a break
From all your worries *
29
00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:22,250
* sure would
Help a lot *
30
00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:26,620
* wouldn't you like
To get away *
31
00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:31,325
* sometimes
You wanna go *
32
00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:34,728
* where everybody
Knows your name *
33
00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:40,100
* and they're always
Glad you came *
34
00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:43,571
* you wanna be
Where you can see *
35
00:01:43,571 --> 00:01:46,240
* our troubles
Are all the same *
36
00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:47,475
* you wanna be *
37
00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:50,511
* where everybody
Knows your name *
38
00:01:51,579 --> 00:01:54,348
* you wanna go
Where people know *
39
00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:56,417
* people are
All the same *
40
00:01:56,417 --> 00:01:57,718
* you wanna go *
41
00:01:57,718 --> 00:02:01,155
* where everybody
Knows your name **
42
00:02:18,539 --> 00:02:21,675
Of all the stinking,
Dirty, rotten,
43
00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:27,114
Maggot-sucking,
Vermin-infested stinkweeds!
44
00:02:27,114 --> 00:02:30,451
Practicing for that
Mother-of-the-year
Speech again, carla?
45
00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:32,753
Shut up.
46
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,756
What seems to be
The problem?
47
00:02:35,756 --> 00:02:38,426
I've been planning
My elvis pilgrimage
To memphis for weeks,
48
00:02:38,426 --> 00:02:41,995
And now nick is
Backing out of
Taking care of the kids.
49
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,497
Says his appendix burst.
50
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,433
That seems
Serious to me.
51
00:02:45,433 --> 00:02:48,869
His appendix bursts
Every time I need a favor.
52
00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:52,606
If he was smart,
He'd have that removed.
53
00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:56,510
Hello, one and all.
54
00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:57,945
Hello.
55
00:02:57,945 --> 00:03:00,180
How are you,
Love of my life?
56
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,383
Just fine,
Pain in my neck.
57
00:03:03,584 --> 00:03:06,086
The most exciting
Thing has happened.
58
00:03:06,086 --> 00:03:08,589
You'll never guess.
59
00:03:08,589 --> 00:03:11,792
I got a letter
From zzygy.
60
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:12,793
Stop it.
61
00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:13,894
Yeah.
62
00:03:16,597 --> 00:03:19,099
All right, all right.
Who's zzygy?
63
00:03:19,099 --> 00:03:20,601
It's not a who.
64
00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:22,603
It's a new
Literary review
65
00:03:22,603 --> 00:03:25,105
Dedicated
To publishing
Prose and poetry
66
00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:27,341
That's right on
The cutting edge.
67
00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:29,109
Well, I for one
Am excited for you.
68
00:03:29,109 --> 00:03:30,911
There, it passed.
69
00:03:34,081 --> 00:03:35,816
Let me have a look at it.
What does the letter say?
70
00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:38,819
Well, I submitted
One of my poems
For publication.
71
00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:41,822
Quite honestly,
I was overwhelmed
By the response.
72
00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:45,993
It was more
Than I could ever
Have hoped for.
73
00:03:45,993 --> 00:03:48,028
But, I blush.
Read it.
74
00:03:48,028 --> 00:03:50,030
It speaks
For itself.
75
00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:53,667
[giggles]
76
00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:55,669
This is
A rejection letter.
77
00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:58,672
It's not a rejection
Letter per se,
78
00:03:58,672 --> 00:04:02,376
It's a soon-and-
Inevitably-to-be
Accepted letter.
79
00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:04,345
Listen to this.
80
00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:08,549
"Your work
Is not entirely
Without promise."
81
00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:10,884
They're
Almost begging for
Another submission.
82
00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:15,689
Boy, I hope you
Don't get your hopes
Up there too high,
83
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:19,527
Because that looks like
A form letter to me.
84
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:21,929
Poor sam.
85
00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:23,564
This really
Threatens you,
Doesn't it?
86
00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:26,567
Let me assure you
That I can heed
My man
87
00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:28,569
As well as my muse.
88
00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:31,238
Zzygy would not even
Have bothered to
Respond to my letter
89
00:04:31,238 --> 00:04:33,240
If they hadn't
Perceived me
90
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:36,276
As an up-and-coming
Literary talent.
91
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,245
This is just like you.
92
00:04:38,245 --> 00:04:40,481
You turn every defeat
Into a victory.
93
00:04:40,481 --> 00:04:43,584
It's like the time when
I said that I didn't want
To see you anymore,
94
00:04:43,584 --> 00:04:46,053
Then you all of a sudden
Start making wedding plans.
95
00:04:46,053 --> 00:04:48,489
Sam, we can talk about
The wedding later.
I have work to do.
96
00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:53,427
You know, I bet I could
Send a poem to that magazine
97
00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:56,730
And get the same letter
Back that you did.
98
00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:59,833
Sam, you don't want
To write a poem.
99
00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:02,536
Poetry is very,
Very difficult.
100
00:05:02,536 --> 00:05:04,037
What's the big deal?
101
00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:05,773
All you got to do
Is rhyme.
102
00:05:06,674 --> 00:05:08,376
Most great
Modern poetry
103
00:05:08,376 --> 00:05:10,844
Doesn't necessarily
Have to rhyme.
104
00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:12,846
Well, that's
Even easier,
Isn't it?
105
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:16,550
Fine.
106
00:05:16,550 --> 00:05:18,218
Fine, fine, fine.
107
00:05:18,218 --> 00:05:19,553
Go ahead.
108
00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:21,622
Write
Your little poem.
109
00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:24,525
You don't think
I can even write
A stupid poem.
110
00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:25,926
Of course you can.
111
00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:28,562
Don't forget
To capitalize
The first letter.
112
00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:30,498
I'm going to do this.
I'm gonna show you
113
00:05:30,498 --> 00:05:34,635
That I can be as much
Of a reject as you.
114
00:05:35,803 --> 00:05:38,305
I told you
I was not rejected.
115
00:05:38,305 --> 00:05:39,840
Whatever.
116
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,509
Now,
If you'll excuse me,
117
00:05:41,509 --> 00:05:44,645
I have a little
Creating to do.
118
00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,554
Coffee.
119
00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:56,824
Any of you guys
Know how to write poetry?
120
00:05:56,824 --> 00:05:59,960
I know
How to make
Fun of them.
121
00:06:06,667 --> 00:06:09,670
Great, nick.
That's wonderful.
122
00:06:09,670 --> 00:06:12,139
You're not as much
Of a scum-bucket
123
00:06:12,139 --> 00:06:13,941
As I thought you were.
124
00:06:13,941 --> 00:06:17,077
No, it's not an attempt
At reconciliation.
125
00:06:18,345 --> 00:06:19,780
Nick's gonna take care
Of the kids.
126
00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:21,482
Graceland,
Here I come.
127
00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:22,916
Hey, all right.
128
00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:24,852
Didn't you go
To graceland last year?
129
00:06:24,852 --> 00:06:26,186
Yeah,
But this is special.
130
00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:27,855
I mean,
How many times
131
00:06:27,855 --> 00:06:29,757
Does the 10th
Anniversary of elvis'
Death roll around?
132
00:06:29,757 --> 00:06:32,926
Don't ask me.
I wasn't a fan.
133
00:06:38,331 --> 00:06:39,332
Hi, sam.
134
00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:40,701
Hello.
135
00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:44,004
Sam, have you received
That rejection letter
136
00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:46,073
For your poem yet?
137
00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:48,241
No, I haven't.
138
00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,511
Hmm.
139
00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:51,812
The letter I received
140
00:06:51,812 --> 00:06:54,815
Arrived within two weeks
Of my submission.
141
00:06:54,815 --> 00:06:58,552
Here it is three weeks,
And nothing for you.
142
00:06:58,552 --> 00:07:01,088
Isn't that odd?
143
00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:03,090
Odd.
144
00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,825
What's this?
145
00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:07,861
It's that magazine
You couldn't get
Your poetry into.
146
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,299
Thank you, woody.
147
00:07:12,299 --> 00:07:14,902
I mean, what is it
Doing here?
148
00:07:14,902 --> 00:07:17,905
Well, I decided if
I'm going to try to write it,
149
00:07:17,905 --> 00:07:20,474
I might as well read
Some of that poetry stuff.
150
00:07:20,474 --> 00:07:22,810
Sam, that's
Very commendable.
151
00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:25,813
I didn't realize
The new issue
Was out.
152
00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:27,347
Yeah, it's not bad either.
153
00:07:27,347 --> 00:07:29,049
They got one
I really like.
154
00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:31,619
Page 37, I believe.
155
00:07:32,486 --> 00:07:33,821
Yeah, read it out loud.
156
00:07:33,821 --> 00:07:36,657
It will be good
For me to hear.
157
00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:38,792
All right,
"Nocturne,"
By sam malo--"
158
00:07:54,441 --> 00:07:59,513
Now, woo, diane,
Come on, please.
Books are our friends.
159
00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:05,252
Page 37 there.
160
00:08:05,252 --> 00:08:06,554
Yes, thank you.
161
00:08:06,554 --> 00:08:07,621
Yeah.
162
00:08:07,621 --> 00:08:11,258
Well, diane chambers
Is nothing
163
00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:13,594
If not open-minded.
164
00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:16,263
Perhaps you do have
165
00:08:16,263 --> 00:08:18,031
Some
Spark of talent.
166
00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:20,267
They published
Your poem, huh?
167
00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:21,468
Yeah.
168
00:08:21,468 --> 00:08:23,270
Don't let it get out,
Though,
169
00:08:23,270 --> 00:08:25,238
That I'm
A sensitive guy.
170
00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:32,980
Very well, I've arrived
At my objective opinion.
171
00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:37,084
This is one
Of the most amateurish,
172
00:08:37,084 --> 00:08:39,286
Hackneyed, odious
Pieces of effluvium
173
00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:40,621
Ever to
Wash down the pike.
174
00:08:41,689 --> 00:08:43,924
Listen to this drivel.
175
00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:47,561
"I fly through
Epochosherina,
176
00:08:47,561 --> 00:08:50,163
"Where echoes dance,
Where echoes dance,
177
00:08:50,163 --> 00:08:51,832
Where echoes dance..."
178
00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:55,368
This sounds familiar.
179
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:57,871
Well,
You said it
Three times.
180
00:09:01,008 --> 00:09:03,276
This poem
Is plagiarized.
181
00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:04,612
Oh, now I stole it.
182
00:09:04,612 --> 00:09:07,581
A minute ago,
You said it stunk.
183
00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:09,149
It does stink.
184
00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:11,585
Leave it to you
To not have the sense
To steal something
185
00:09:11,585 --> 00:09:12,620
Worthwhile.
186
00:09:12,620 --> 00:09:14,321
I realize that it's tough
187
00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:16,223
To have somebody come along
And swipe your dreams
Of glory,
188
00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:19,292
So I will not take offense
At that remark.
189
00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:21,595
That poem
Is fraudulent.
190
00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:23,997
I intend to find
Its true source,
191
00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:27,601
Even if I have to
Search through every
Greeting card to do so.
192
00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:29,036
Ah ha ha.
193
00:09:29,036 --> 00:09:32,606
Believe me, sam malone,
I will not rest until today,
194
00:09:32,606 --> 00:09:34,608
The blackest day
In the history of literature,
195
00:09:34,608 --> 00:09:37,177
Is blotted out
For all eternity.
196
00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:38,879
Diane, I think
You're getting
Overexcited.
197
00:09:38,879 --> 00:09:40,347
Why don't you
Just calm down?
I tell you,
198
00:09:40,347 --> 00:09:44,517
I've just come
From my coping
With anxiety group.
199
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:45,518
I have
Just the trick.
200
00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:46,720
Now, here.
201
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:49,657
Put this
Over your head
And breathe.
202
00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:55,295
I assure you,
I'm in complete control.
203
00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:58,265
I think the bag's
A good idea anyhow.
204
00:10:03,871 --> 00:10:05,572
It's been proven
Time and time again.
205
00:10:05,572 --> 00:10:08,842
Reincarnation breaks
No physical laws
As we know them.
206
00:10:08,842 --> 00:10:11,912
You know,
I was thinking about
This the other day.
207
00:10:11,912 --> 00:10:13,346
I think
In my next life,
208
00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:17,250
I'd like to come back
As the president of france.
209
00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:19,086
Why is that,
Wood?
210
00:10:19,086 --> 00:10:22,690
I think it would
Attract lots of
Business to the bar.
211
00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:30,563
Coffee, woody.
212
00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:32,666
Sure thing,
Miss chambers.
213
00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:36,036
I'll take the pot.
214
00:10:37,905 --> 00:10:40,373
What's with diane
There?
215
00:10:40,373 --> 00:10:43,210
She's
Still searching
For sam's poem.
216
00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:45,578
Dr. Crane,
I think you ought
To talk to her.
217
00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:48,581
I mean, all she does
Is read, read, read.
218
00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:50,751
I bet she goes through
A book a week.
219
00:10:57,590 --> 00:10:59,659
Uh, diane,
220
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,594
Diane,
You don't smoke.
221
00:11:01,594 --> 00:11:03,330
What's your point?
222
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,136
Hey, there.
223
00:11:09,136 --> 00:11:11,772
Still looking
For that poem, huh?
224
00:11:13,974 --> 00:11:16,309
I'm sure
It's a postwar piece.
225
00:11:16,309 --> 00:11:19,612
It's not british--
The syntax is wrong.
226
00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:21,949
I have a hunch
It might be regional.
227
00:11:21,949 --> 00:11:23,683
You may not
Believe this,
228
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:26,419
But I do sympathize
With you.
229
00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:30,090
It's not easy
To watch those people
You scoffed at
230
00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:33,961
Run past you
While you remain
Stuck in the mud,
231
00:11:33,961 --> 00:11:36,163
Like a weighted-down
Elephant.
232
00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:39,132
I made that up.
233
00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:43,636
Does this mean
You've stopped
Trying
234
00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:45,638
To get
Your poetry
Published?
235
00:11:45,638 --> 00:11:47,775
Not at all.
236
00:11:48,976 --> 00:11:51,011
I'm diligently
Producing new work.
237
00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:52,645
Well, that's good.
238
00:11:52,645 --> 00:11:56,016
I'd love to talk
To you about it.
239
00:11:56,016 --> 00:11:58,151
How's it going,
Diane?
240
00:11:59,352 --> 00:12:02,790
You'd like to know
How it's going?
241
00:12:04,024 --> 00:12:06,026
This is
How it's going.
242
00:12:06,026 --> 00:12:07,660
I'm totally blocked.
243
00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:09,662
I can't write
Another word.
244
00:12:09,662 --> 00:12:10,964
Hmm.
245
00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:12,499
Hurricane of wills--
Unfinished.
246
00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:16,136
The death
Of a shallow man--
Unfinished.
247
00:12:18,671 --> 00:12:20,808
A bartender dismembered...
248
00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:24,812
Unfinished.
249
00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:28,081
I suffer
Failure after failure
250
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:32,052
While you, a despoiler
Of the english language,
251
00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:35,188
Are lionized
In front of the world.
252
00:12:38,691 --> 00:12:40,193
That's how it's going.
253
00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:44,031
Well, maybe
This little
Literary chat
254
00:12:44,031 --> 00:12:46,499
Wasn't such
A good idea.
255
00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:48,135
Want
To make out?
256
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:53,573
Well.
257
00:12:53,573 --> 00:12:55,242
Make out?
258
00:12:55,242 --> 00:12:58,445
Diane, now, listen.
I think the joke's
Gone far enough,
259
00:12:58,445 --> 00:12:59,612
Don't you?
260
00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:01,381
You haven't eaten
A decent meal
In a week.
261
00:13:01,381 --> 00:13:03,516
You're living
Off of cigarettes
And coffee.
262
00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:04,918
For god's sake,
263
00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:06,719
This little
Literary magazine's
Circulation
264
00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:08,188
Must be, what, 600?
265
00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:10,590
That's just
The beginning.
266
00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:13,927
You see,
The original 600 readers
267
00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:15,896
Drop their copies
On buses...
268
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:19,399
And taxicabs
And doctors' offices,
269
00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:22,602
And another 600 people
Pick them up
270
00:13:22,602 --> 00:13:23,971
And take them
To the airport
271
00:13:23,971 --> 00:13:25,973
Where they go
All over the country.
272
00:13:25,973 --> 00:13:28,375
Then they get taken
On international flights,
273
00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:30,410
Tierra del fuego,
Sierra leone,
274
00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:32,412
All the remotest parts
Of the world.
275
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:35,282
Soon, I defy you
To find me a house,
276
00:13:35,282 --> 00:13:38,418
A hut, an igloo,
Or a wickiup
277
00:13:38,418 --> 00:13:41,821
That doesn't have a copy
On the coffee table.
278
00:13:42,956 --> 00:13:43,957
Diane, I--
279
00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:45,158
Then, then,
280
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:47,995
Everyone in the world,
Every living thing
281
00:13:47,995 --> 00:13:50,397
Will be laughing at me
282
00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:53,566
Because he got published
And I did not!
283
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:59,006
Hi, everybody.
I'm back.
284
00:13:59,006 --> 00:14:00,640
Hey, hey, carla.
285
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,009
How was
The trip?
286
00:14:02,009 --> 00:14:05,979
Greatest vacation
I have ever taken in my life.
287
00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:08,448
Graceland
Does not disappoint.
288
00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:11,384
And to commemorate
The special anniversary,
289
00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:15,022
I had this picture taken
Of me and elvis.
290
00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:17,157
How do they do that?
291
00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:19,059
They use
Cardboard cutouts.
292
00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:22,162
You know, you look
Almost life-like here.
293
00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:28,969
So do you,
Woody.
294
00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:32,605
Woody, more coffee.
295
00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:34,174
Ok, miss chambers.
296
00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:37,344
I got something
To cheer you up.
297
00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:40,747
I sent in a poem
To that magazine
Of yours.
298
00:14:40,747 --> 00:14:43,616
Oh, my god, don't tell me.
299
00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:45,585
They published
Yours, too?
300
00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:48,088
No. I got
One of your
301
00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:52,525
Soon-and-
Inevitably-to-be-
Accepted letters.
302
00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:56,563
Huh? That's
Pretty exciting.
303
00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:00,633
Oh, my god.
304
00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:02,902
Sam was right.
305
00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:07,574
Sam the bard.
306
00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:14,481
Form letter
All along.
307
00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:18,718
We two were sent
A condescending form letter.
308
00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:20,487
I'm framing mine.
309
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:36,603
Hi.
310
00:15:38,338 --> 00:15:39,472
You ok?
311
00:15:41,808 --> 00:15:43,543
You win, sam.
312
00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:46,746
I've struggled so hard
For so long
313
00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:48,481
To keep my dreams alive,
314
00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:52,419
And I haven't fooled
Anyone but myself.
315
00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:56,489
I know all along
You all considered me
316
00:15:56,489 --> 00:15:59,292
A pretentious,
Self-deluded windbag.
317
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,396
Apparently,
You've all been right.
318
00:16:04,897 --> 00:16:08,735
I'm never going
To be diane chambers,
The great poet,
319
00:16:08,735 --> 00:16:12,372
The world famous novelist,
The revered artist.
320
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:17,544
I've gone as high
As I'm going to go.
321
00:16:17,544 --> 00:16:20,380
I'm a waitress
In a beer hall.
322
00:16:22,715 --> 00:16:25,318
And not
A very good one.
323
00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:28,988
A waitress.
324
00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:33,126
A waitress.
325
00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:36,663
A waitress.
326
00:16:37,797 --> 00:16:40,267
Miss, could you
Take our order?
327
00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:49,376
Come on. Let's
Go have a talk
In my office.
328
00:16:49,376 --> 00:16:50,710
Come on,
Sweetheart.
329
00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:04,391
Ok, come on,
Sweetheart. Come on.
330
00:17:04,391 --> 00:17:06,359
Sit in
The big chair.
331
00:17:11,431 --> 00:17:15,435
Ok, I have something
I have to say here.
332
00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:18,571
I just want you to promise,
Before I say it,
333
00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:21,641
That you--
That you won't go crazy.
334
00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:22,909
Don't worry.
335
00:17:22,909 --> 00:17:24,244
I've hit
Rock bottom.
336
00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:26,779
I have
No emotions left.
337
00:17:26,779 --> 00:17:29,182
All right. Um...
338
00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:35,388
I, uh, I did
Copy that poem.
339
00:17:37,023 --> 00:17:38,758
You are scum.
340
00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:43,130
I tried to
Make one up myself,
341
00:17:43,130 --> 00:17:44,764
But I just couldn't,
342
00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:46,966
So I copied one.
343
00:17:46,966 --> 00:17:49,969
I never thought
It would be published,
I promise.
344
00:17:49,969 --> 00:17:54,341
What could you
Possibly have been
Thinking of, sam?
345
00:17:54,341 --> 00:17:57,910
It obviously
Had been published
To begin with.
346
00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:00,813
No, nope. No, it hadn't.
347
00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:02,282
Well, then
Please tell me.
348
00:18:02,282 --> 00:18:03,916
I think you
Owe me that much.
349
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,618
Where did it
Come from?
350
00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:09,822
Actually, it came
From a letter
351
00:18:09,822 --> 00:18:11,758
That you wrote to me.
352
00:18:17,297 --> 00:18:20,233
One of my letters?
353
00:18:20,233 --> 00:18:23,803
Mm-hmm. When you didn't
Recognize it out there,
354
00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:26,306
I decided
To play it out
355
00:18:26,306 --> 00:18:29,442
And rub your smug
Little nose in it.
356
00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:33,646
I'm sorry.
I probably went too far.
357
00:18:34,681 --> 00:18:38,918
Oh, my god.
It's one of mine.
358
00:18:38,918 --> 00:18:40,853
How could
I not recognize
359
00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:43,523
This exquisite
Fluidity?
360
00:18:46,058 --> 00:18:48,195
The characteristic
Chambers grace
361
00:18:48,195 --> 00:18:49,862
In the face
Of hard imagery?
362
00:18:49,862 --> 00:18:52,098
You told me
That it stunk.
363
00:18:52,098 --> 00:18:54,801
Sam, I'm a poet,
Not a critic.
364
00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:00,540
I'm published!
365
00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:01,341
Yeah!
366
00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:02,342
I'm published!
367
00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:04,377
Oh, this
Is so exciting.
368
00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:07,914
This is like
The first time
I ever--
369
00:19:07,914 --> 00:19:10,317
Rode a bicycle.
370
00:19:10,317 --> 00:19:13,253
Well, this is great.
You're not mad.
371
00:19:13,253 --> 00:19:16,456
Mad? I'm elated!
372
00:19:16,456 --> 00:19:18,891
Hey! I'm elated, too.
373
00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:20,827
Oh, what a glorious day.
374
00:19:22,462 --> 00:19:25,031
I'm going to go
Do what poets do--
375
00:19:25,031 --> 00:19:26,833
Drink myself stinky.
376
00:19:31,371 --> 00:19:33,906
Wait a minute.
377
00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:36,376
This always happens.
378
00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:39,912
You always squirm out
Of these things unscathed.
379
00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:42,882
You did
A terrible thing!
380
00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:44,817
I know I did.
381
00:19:44,817 --> 00:19:46,786
No, you don't.
382
00:19:48,321 --> 00:19:50,723
You put me
Through hell.
383
00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:53,626
This time it's
Going to be different.
384
00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:56,062
I'm going
To make you suffer.
385
00:19:56,062 --> 00:19:58,765
What are you
Going to do?
386
00:19:59,832 --> 00:20:01,434
I don't know.
387
00:20:02,302 --> 00:20:03,636
Yes, I do.
388
00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:06,639
You're going out there
And admit to everyone
389
00:20:06,639 --> 00:20:08,908
That you stole
This poem from me.
390
00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:12,845
Come on, you mean I
Have to go out and
Tell the whole bar
391
00:20:12,845 --> 00:20:14,881
That I'm not a poet?
392
00:20:17,149 --> 00:20:19,786
You sure do, mister.
Let's go.
393
00:20:27,527 --> 00:20:28,361
Oh!
394
00:20:28,361 --> 00:20:29,796
What, what, what?
395
00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:35,535
What are you doing?
396
00:20:39,038 --> 00:20:40,172
Oh, yeah.
397
00:20:40,172 --> 00:20:42,008
I've heard
About this.
398
00:20:49,649 --> 00:20:52,151
You want to go
Back to my place
399
00:20:52,151 --> 00:20:53,853
And ride a bike?
400
00:20:57,690 --> 00:20:59,692
Don't you
Ever, ever again
401
00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:02,061
Try to tell me
That you don't love me.
402
00:21:02,061 --> 00:21:03,796
Ah, god,
Every time I think
403
00:21:03,796 --> 00:21:05,465
I'm about to get
My hedge clipped,
404
00:21:05,465 --> 00:21:07,233
You start talking
About love,
405
00:21:07,233 --> 00:21:08,401
And it's just
Not fair.
406
00:21:08,401 --> 00:21:10,470
You saved
My love letters.
407
00:21:10,470 --> 00:21:13,440
I was so excited about
Being a published poet
408
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:16,443
It didn't sink in
At first, but this proves it,
409
00:21:16,443 --> 00:21:18,978
You love me now
As you always did--
410
00:21:18,978 --> 00:21:20,246
Madly and completely.
411
00:21:20,246 --> 00:21:21,581
Hey, wait,
Listen to me.
412
00:21:21,581 --> 00:21:24,517
I did not
Save your letters.
413
00:21:24,517 --> 00:21:26,252
Where did
This come from?
414
00:21:26,252 --> 00:21:27,754
I found it
In my apartment.
415
00:21:27,754 --> 00:21:29,989
I got pizza boxes
That old that have
More meaning.
416
00:21:29,989 --> 00:21:32,224
Come on.
417
00:21:32,224 --> 00:21:33,893
Sam malone,
Look me in the eyes
418
00:21:33,893 --> 00:21:35,428
And tell me
You don't love me.
419
00:21:35,428 --> 00:21:36,896
If you can do that,
420
00:21:36,896 --> 00:21:39,499
Then I'll have no choice
But to believe you.
421
00:21:39,499 --> 00:21:44,371
Oh, boy.
I'm sorry, but...
422
00:21:47,173 --> 00:21:49,542
I don't love you,
Diane.
423
00:21:49,542 --> 00:21:51,511
I thought
I did once,
424
00:21:51,511 --> 00:21:53,746
But I was wrong.
425
00:21:53,746 --> 00:21:56,649
There's nothing
Going on between us
Here.
426
00:21:56,649 --> 00:21:58,685
I mean,
It's all over.
427
00:22:03,189 --> 00:22:05,291
Very well.
428
00:22:05,291 --> 00:22:07,994
That was in the eyes,
Wasn't it?
429
00:22:07,994 --> 00:22:09,796
I guess I'll go
430
00:22:09,796 --> 00:22:13,332
Before I make
A bigger fool of myself.
431
00:22:41,060 --> 00:22:42,429
Aha!
432
00:22:44,564 --> 00:22:46,466
What the hell
Are you doing?
433
00:22:48,568 --> 00:22:51,571
I came to
Catch you in a lie.
434
00:22:51,571 --> 00:22:54,941
Don't I know my darling
Better than anyone else?
435
00:22:54,941 --> 00:22:57,043
Ok, so I kept some
Of your letters.
Big deal.
436
00:22:57,043 --> 00:22:58,911
I mean,
That doesn't
Prove anything.
437
00:22:58,911 --> 00:23:00,480
I mean,
I've got lots of
Junk in here.
438
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:02,715
Look at this.
I save all
Sorts of things--
439
00:23:02,715 --> 00:23:04,817
Look at that.
Where is it?
440
00:23:04,817 --> 00:23:07,253
A warranty
For my toaster.
Look at that.
441
00:23:07,253 --> 00:23:08,655
My letter.
442
00:23:08,655 --> 00:23:11,357
A ticket.
Here--here it is.
443
00:23:11,357 --> 00:23:14,260
A ticket to
The 1980 boat show.
444
00:23:14,260 --> 00:23:16,596
Your protests
Only prove my point.
445
00:23:16,596 --> 00:23:18,598
Poker chips,
Three poker chips--
446
00:23:18,598 --> 00:23:20,232
Sam, I was thinking.
447
00:23:20,232 --> 00:23:22,635
When we finally
Do get married,
448
00:23:22,635 --> 00:23:25,371
We could move
To the country.
449
00:23:25,371 --> 00:23:27,674
A whistle, a double
"C" battery--
450
00:23:27,674 --> 00:23:29,208
I know how much
You love me.
451
00:23:29,208 --> 00:23:32,111
Sam...
452
00:23:32,111 --> 00:23:34,213
Four paper clips.
31476
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