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1
00:00:04,472 --> 00:00:06,140
Hey, "Cheers" is filmed
Before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:06,140 --> 00:00:08,209
Good afternoon, woody.
3
00:00:08,209 --> 00:00:09,610
Oh, hiya,
Mr. Twitchell.
4
00:00:09,610 --> 00:00:11,112
If it isn't walter
K. Twitchell,
5
00:00:11,112 --> 00:00:15,949
The man who put
The knee in wienie.
6
00:00:15,949 --> 00:00:17,851
You south central
Branch types
7
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:20,054
Are all alike--
Wisenheimers.
8
00:00:20,054 --> 00:00:22,790
Good lord,
Miss agnes.
9
00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:26,860
You're wearing
Your postal key chain,
10
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:29,363
And you're not
On active duty?
11
00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:31,565
That's a direct violation
Of postal regulations.
12
00:00:31,565 --> 00:00:33,167
I'm filing a report
On you.
13
00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:35,169
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
14
00:00:35,169 --> 00:00:36,337
I'd love to see
The supervisor's face
15
00:00:36,337 --> 00:00:37,705
When he calls me out
On the mat,
16
00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:40,374
And I whip out
This baby.
17
00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:42,910
Care to take a peep at
The old french peeper
Here, twitch?
18
00:00:42,910 --> 00:00:44,378
I warn you...
19
00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:47,248
She's pretty hot stuff.
20
00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:54,655
You're a sick man,
Clavin.
21
00:01:02,430 --> 00:01:03,364
What?
22
00:01:03,364 --> 00:01:05,599
Nice shiner
There, twitch.
23
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,737
They can never
Pass up a chance
24
00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:12,039
To sneak a peek
At natalie
In her nightie.
25
00:01:12,039 --> 00:01:13,241
Nightie?
26
00:01:13,241 --> 00:01:14,875
Wasn't wearing anything
I could see.
27
00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:15,843
Yeah?
28
00:01:16,944 --> 00:01:18,546
Revenge is sweet.
29
00:01:18,546 --> 00:01:20,848
Here's the mail!
Have a nice day.
30
00:01:20,848 --> 00:01:22,583
I'll get you!
31
00:01:26,654 --> 00:01:28,756
* makin' your way
In the world today *
32
00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:32,059
* takes everything
You've got *
33
00:01:32,059 --> 00:01:34,895
* takin' a break
From all your worries *
34
00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:37,231
* sure would
Help a lot *
35
00:01:38,466 --> 00:01:41,535
* wouldn't you like
To get away *
36
00:01:44,272 --> 00:01:46,073
* sometimes
You wanna go *
37
00:01:46,073 --> 00:01:49,710
* where everybody
Knows your name *
38
00:01:51,579 --> 00:01:54,748
* and they're always
Glad you came *
39
00:01:56,217 --> 00:01:58,586
* you wanna be
Where you can see *
40
00:01:58,586 --> 00:02:01,289
* our troubles
Are all the same *
41
00:02:01,289 --> 00:02:02,590
* you wanna be *
42
00:02:02,590 --> 00:02:05,393
* where everybody
Knows your name *
43
00:02:06,594 --> 00:02:09,197
* you wanna go
Where people know *
44
00:02:09,197 --> 00:02:11,799
* people are
All the same *
45
00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:12,900
* you wanna go *
46
00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:16,704
* where everybody
Knows your name **
47
00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:40,861
[sighs]
48
00:02:40,861 --> 00:02:42,763
[sighing]
Ahh...
49
00:02:44,532 --> 00:02:47,167
You developing
A slow leak, diane?
50
00:02:49,036 --> 00:02:50,037
No.
51
00:02:50,037 --> 00:02:51,539
I have a problem.
52
00:02:51,539 --> 00:02:54,375
I just don't know
Who to talk to.
53
00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:56,710
Oh. Well,
How about me?
54
00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:59,647
I don't think that
Would be appropriate
In this case.
55
00:02:59,647 --> 00:03:01,849
You see,
It's a romantic
Problem.
56
00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:02,950
Oh.
57
00:03:02,950 --> 00:03:04,652
Considering
Our past,
I don't think
58
00:03:04,652 --> 00:03:07,655
You could
Possibly maintain
Your objectivity.
59
00:03:07,655 --> 00:03:09,857
Oh, come on,
Give it a shot.
60
00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:13,527
Very well.
61
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,663
As you know, last week
I was substituting
62
00:03:15,663 --> 00:03:19,633
As a teaching assistant
At the college, and...
63
00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:22,836
It seems that
A student has fallen
In love with me.
64
00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:23,804
Marry him.
65
00:03:28,075 --> 00:03:30,043
Sam...
In this case,
66
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:33,180
The smitten youth
Is particularly
Good-looking.
67
00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:34,214
Uh-huh...
68
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,516
No.
69
00:03:35,516 --> 00:03:37,651
Make that
Exceptionally
Good-looking.
70
00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:38,486
Ok.
71
00:03:38,486 --> 00:03:40,988
No. Make it
Greek godlike.
72
00:03:40,988 --> 00:03:44,525
The problem
Is that he's
Very persistent,
73
00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:48,529
And with his beauty
And youthful ardor,
74
00:03:48,529 --> 00:03:51,532
I find myself
Inexplicably
Drawn to him.
75
00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:53,867
He's asked me out
Several times.
76
00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:56,537
Now, I don't want
To encourage him,
77
00:03:56,537 --> 00:03:59,540
But on the other
Hand, I'm tempted.
78
00:03:59,540 --> 00:04:01,542
What do you think
I should do, sam?
79
00:04:01,542 --> 00:04:04,244
I'm sorry.
I got sidetracked there.
80
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,814
I was looking
At my foot.
81
00:04:10,017 --> 00:04:11,385
Sam, please.
82
00:04:11,385 --> 00:04:13,887
As you know, I'm one
Who prides herself
83
00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:17,858
On her attraction
To the inner man.
84
00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:22,296
Every once in a while
Someone comes along
That makes you go zowie.
85
00:04:22,296 --> 00:04:23,564
Oh, stop it, will you?
86
00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:26,066
You're just trying
To make me jealous.
87
00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:27,568
Your being jealous
88
00:04:27,568 --> 00:04:30,571
Was the farthest thing
From my mind.
89
00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:32,906
Although, now that
You bring it up,
90
00:04:32,906 --> 00:04:36,176
Any sane man
Would be jealous
Of lance apollonaire.
91
00:04:36,176 --> 00:04:37,578
Oh, come on,
If you're gonna make
A guy up,
92
00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:39,046
At least give him
A name
93
00:04:39,046 --> 00:04:42,716
That doesn't
Sound like
A bad after-shave.
94
00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:45,686
I knew
It was a mistake
To talk to you.
95
00:04:45,686 --> 00:04:47,955
I'll have to
Deal this on my own.
96
00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:50,758
Rest assured, though,
That the last thing
I need
97
00:04:50,758 --> 00:04:53,527
Is to become that young
Man's mrs. Robinson.
98
00:04:53,527 --> 00:04:55,663
Wouldn't that be
Mrs. Apollonaire?
99
00:04:57,898 --> 00:04:59,299
No, woody.
100
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,234
Mrs. Robinson was a...
101
00:05:01,234 --> 00:05:02,870
Yes, it would.
102
00:05:05,606 --> 00:05:08,075
Top of the day,
Everybody.
103
00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:10,210
What a fine day
It is, too.
104
00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:11,779
Why
The good spirits,
Mr. Clavin?
105
00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:14,548
Well, you guys ever hear
Of the knights
Of the scimitar?
106
00:05:14,548 --> 00:05:16,550
Yeah, it's one of
Those lodges, right?
107
00:05:16,550 --> 00:05:17,918
The lodge, sammy.
108
00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:20,020
It's always
Been a dream of mine
109
00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:21,522
To become a member.
110
00:05:21,522 --> 00:05:23,156
Well, yesterday
I made it.
111
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:24,558
You guys are looking
At a knight.
112
00:05:24,558 --> 00:05:26,126
Hey,
That's great.
113
00:05:26,126 --> 00:05:28,095
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
114
00:05:28,095 --> 00:05:29,863
Dad himself
Was a knight.
115
00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:31,632
When I was a kid,
I used to sneak up
Into his room
116
00:05:31,632 --> 00:05:33,200
When he was out at work,
117
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:36,103
And try on
His turban and sword.
118
00:05:36,103 --> 00:05:37,137
And unless
I miss my guess,
119
00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:38,639
You completed
The outfit
120
00:05:38,639 --> 00:05:40,741
With your mother's bra
And high heels.
121
00:05:44,111 --> 00:05:45,579
Carla, this is serious.
122
00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:47,815
It's no easy task
Getting into the knights.
123
00:05:47,815 --> 00:05:50,584
Oh, sure, as the son
Of an alumnus,
124
00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:52,586
I was guaranteed
Full membership.
125
00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:55,188
But well, my oath does not
Permit me to say any more.
126
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:56,590
Thank god.
127
00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:58,659
Yeah. But
The best part is--
128
00:05:58,659 --> 00:06:00,728
Your oath, clavin.
Your oath.
129
00:06:00,728 --> 00:06:02,496
No, this stuff's permissible.
130
00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:04,231
Oh, shut up
Anyway.
131
00:06:04,231 --> 00:06:06,934
Well,
So, don't listen!
132
00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:10,604
Look,
The best part is that
Now I'm a member,
133
00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:13,807
I can get
All you guys in.
134
00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:15,909
Of course it's
Gonna have to be
One at a time.
135
00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:18,479
Now, I've figured out
A fair way to do the
Choosing, ok?
136
00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:21,449
I'm thinking of a number
Between 1 and 10.
137
00:06:21,449 --> 00:06:24,752
Whoever's the closest wins.
Norm, you first.
138
00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:27,087
2,000,012.
139
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,559
2,000,013.
140
00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:34,294
2,000,014.
141
00:06:34,294 --> 00:06:35,963
Well,
The number was 4.
142
00:06:35,963 --> 00:06:39,099
Norm's closest
With 2,000,012.
143
00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:42,970
Darn! I was going
To say 4.
144
00:06:42,970 --> 00:06:46,940
I should've stuck
To my first instinct.
145
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:50,010
Cliffie, thanks a lot,
But I'm just not interested.
146
00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:52,613
I guess I'm an example
Of the old adage--
147
00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:54,648
I'd never
Join a club
148
00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:57,384
That would would have
Someone like you as a member.
149
00:06:57,384 --> 00:06:58,719
Hey, normie.
150
00:06:58,719 --> 00:07:00,988
The knights got a lot
Of bankers, lawyers,
151
00:07:00,988 --> 00:07:04,324
Sort of captains
Of industry down there.
152
00:07:04,324 --> 00:07:05,559
So?
153
00:07:05,559 --> 00:07:07,094
So, they're gonna
Need accountants,
154
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:09,863
And god knows you could
Use a few clients.
155
00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:11,665
I've heard
Those places
156
00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:13,133
Are great
For making
Contacts
Yeah.
157
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:16,537
Business has been
Down just a bit
This past year.
158
00:07:16,537 --> 00:07:17,671
There you go.
159
00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:20,774
Woody, give me the horn,
Will you?
160
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,242
Boy, you're gonna love it
Down at the lodge.
161
00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:23,577
After a hard day's work,
162
00:07:23,577 --> 00:07:25,245
It's a great place
To unwind.
163
00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:29,182
Wearing those turbans,
You probably need a place
To unwind.
164
00:07:31,418 --> 00:07:32,853
You know, unwind?
165
00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:37,491
Turbans,
How they're all wound up.
166
00:07:37,491 --> 00:07:39,192
Then you got
To unwind them.
167
00:07:40,393 --> 00:07:41,929
Hey, good one, woody.
168
00:07:44,264 --> 00:07:46,534
I was voted class clown.
169
00:07:46,534 --> 00:07:48,536
You should be proud.
170
00:07:48,536 --> 00:07:51,004
I was only running
For class president.
171
00:07:58,912 --> 00:08:01,314
Oh, diane,
Would you do me
A favor
172
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,050
And run up and get
Some change from
Melville's, please?
173
00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:11,158
What are you doing?
174
00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:14,061
Lance is definitely
Taller than you are.
175
00:08:15,863 --> 00:08:17,865
For a while there,
I thought you were taller,
176
00:08:17,865 --> 00:08:20,868
But I see why
I was mistaken.
177
00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:22,870
Your shoulders
Are less broad,
178
00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:25,573
Thus giving you the illusion
Of greater height.
179
00:08:27,274 --> 00:08:31,211
I promised not to bring up
This adonis-like creature,
Didn't I? Sorry.
180
00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:33,213
Hey,
Don't be sorry about
A little fantasy.
181
00:08:33,213 --> 00:08:36,584
I'm not sorry about
Fantasy I had a
Couple hours ago.
182
00:08:36,584 --> 00:08:38,518
By the way,
How many nurses
Do you think
183
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,721
Can fit
In a standard-sized
Hot tub?
184
00:08:44,725 --> 00:08:48,261
Sam, I assure you,
Lance is not a fantasy.
185
00:08:49,597 --> 00:08:52,600
The feelings he inspires
Are very real, too.
186
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:54,367
Change.
187
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:57,237
Not for you
Or any man.
188
00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:58,606
No, no, diane.
189
00:08:58,606 --> 00:09:00,708
Change--nickels,
Dimes, quarters.
190
00:09:06,446 --> 00:09:09,617
Can I ask you
A question here, carla?
191
00:09:09,617 --> 00:09:12,119
Who's the handsomest
Man you know?
192
00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:13,621
Robert redford.
193
00:09:13,621 --> 00:09:15,623
No, he's a movie star.
194
00:09:15,623 --> 00:09:17,490
I mean someone
You really know.
195
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:18,626
Robert redford.
196
00:09:18,626 --> 00:09:21,428
You don't know
Robert redford.
197
00:09:21,428 --> 00:09:22,630
Yes, I do.
198
00:09:22,630 --> 00:09:24,998
How come you never
Mentioned it?
199
00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:29,536
If you were the only
Woman in boston he was
Messing around with,
200
00:09:29,536 --> 00:09:31,138
Would you tell anybody?
201
00:09:33,674 --> 00:09:35,142
Ok, all right,
Besides robert redford.
202
00:09:35,142 --> 00:09:37,645
I mean, somebody
You see in the city.
203
00:09:37,645 --> 00:09:40,748
Who's the handsomest guy
You see in the city?
204
00:09:40,748 --> 00:09:41,949
Dwight evans.
205
00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:45,552
No, not an athlete.
206
00:09:45,552 --> 00:09:48,021
Somebody that you see
Every day.
207
00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:49,389
My butcher.
208
00:09:49,389 --> 00:09:50,758
In this bar, carla.
209
00:09:50,758 --> 00:09:52,192
Well, uh...
210
00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:53,661
Standing next to you,
211
00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:55,128
Getting very angry.
212
00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:59,032
Well, that would
Be you, sam.
213
00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:02,269
Why do you put me
Through this stuff?
214
00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:03,971
Put you through what?
215
00:10:09,643 --> 00:10:12,545
Hey, uh, woody,
Come here for a second.
216
00:10:12,545 --> 00:10:14,948
Let me ask you
A question.
217
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:17,651
Who's the handsomest
Guy you know?
218
00:10:17,651 --> 00:10:20,087
Oh, that's easy.
Carla's butcher.
219
00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:26,559
Evening, everybody.
220
00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:27,895
Norm!
Norm!
221
00:10:27,895 --> 00:10:29,697
What's the latest,
Mr. Peterson?
222
00:10:29,697 --> 00:10:31,699
Zsa zsa marries
A millionaire,
223
00:10:31,699 --> 00:10:33,300
Peterson
Drinks a beer.
224
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:34,768
Film at 11:00.
225
00:10:34,768 --> 00:10:36,436
Normie, you're supposed
To be at your interview
226
00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:37,705
Down at the lodge.
227
00:10:37,705 --> 00:10:39,006
Oh, yeah.
I've already
Been, cliff.
228
00:10:39,006 --> 00:10:40,708
Already--
It took, what,
15 minutes?
229
00:10:40,708 --> 00:10:42,075
Something like that.
230
00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:45,445
Did you get to meet
The high sultan?
231
00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:47,447
Good guy.
He was, yeah.
232
00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:49,750
What did
You say to him?
233
00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:51,885
Uh, something like,
"Hi, high."
234
00:10:53,286 --> 00:10:54,621
That's great, norm.
235
00:10:54,621 --> 00:10:56,256
I told you to be
Friendly, not flippant.
236
00:10:56,256 --> 00:10:59,760
Frankly
This just doesn't bode
At all well for you.
237
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:01,995
[telephone rings]
238
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,230
Cheers.
239
00:11:03,230 --> 00:11:04,732
It's for you.
240
00:11:04,732 --> 00:11:06,199
It's probably
Those guys.
241
00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:07,735
They said they
Were gonna call.
242
00:11:07,735 --> 00:11:10,237
Yeah, like they called
Joan of arc
243
00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:12,840
Before they turned her
Into french toast.
244
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:16,043
Look, treat this guy
With respect, all right?
245
00:11:16,043 --> 00:11:17,144
Hello?
246
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:20,380
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, hi, high.
247
00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:23,751
Yeah. Thank you.
248
00:11:23,751 --> 00:11:25,685
No, no apology
Necessary.
249
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,187
That's ok. Sure.
250
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:29,156
All right. Bye.
251
00:11:29,156 --> 00:11:32,492
You blew it.
You got nobody to blame
But yourself now.
252
00:11:32,492 --> 00:11:35,528
No, he just apologized
For making me wait
So long.
253
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:36,797
I'm a knight.
254
00:11:38,165 --> 00:11:39,299
Congratulations.
255
00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:42,235
How's that for the old
Clavin clone, huh?
256
00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:43,771
Evening, sam.
257
00:11:43,771 --> 00:11:45,005
Hey, frasier.
258
00:11:45,005 --> 00:11:46,774
What's with
Your voice?
259
00:11:46,774 --> 00:11:50,143
I spent the afternoon
Screaming at a patient.
260
00:11:52,913 --> 00:11:55,448
What kind of
Therapy is that?
261
00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:58,151
It's not therapy.
He burned a hole
In my carpet.
262
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:06,326
Anyway,
How are you doing,
Sam, old man?
263
00:12:06,326 --> 00:12:07,795
You know, frasier,
264
00:12:07,795 --> 00:12:11,431
I don't like that phrase
"Old man" anymore.
265
00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:12,800
I prefer "Buddy."
266
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:14,868
How you doin',
Old buddy?
267
00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:20,473
Look, is something
Bothering you?
268
00:12:22,675 --> 00:12:24,477
Well, yeah.
269
00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:26,746
Diane's made up some
Guy who's supposed
To be great looking
270
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,215
Just to
Get me riled.
271
00:12:28,215 --> 00:12:29,716
I mean, I could
Care less about
The whole thing..
272
00:12:29,716 --> 00:12:31,518
Good for you, sam.
273
00:12:31,518 --> 00:12:33,520
You know, the old sam
Would have rambled on and on
274
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:36,489
About how jealous he isn't,
Proving only that
He really is.
275
00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:40,593
Right. I mean,
I could give a rat's
Rear what diane does
276
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:42,595
Or who she does it with.
277
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:45,698
I'm certainly
Am not jealous about
Some college punk kid.
278
00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:48,368
And even if I were,
Which I'm not--
279
00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:50,303
Call me at the office.
280
00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:56,977
Sammy, want to see
A sap?
281
00:12:56,977 --> 00:12:58,812
Sure. Why not?
282
00:13:00,981 --> 00:13:02,482
That's me, carla.
283
00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:05,685
Uh-huh,
But a great-looking
Sap, right?
284
00:13:05,685 --> 00:13:07,387
Not bad. Why?
285
00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:09,422
Not bad? He's a killer,
And I can't believe
286
00:13:09,422 --> 00:13:10,557
With a mug like that
287
00:13:10,557 --> 00:13:12,492
You're letting diane
Do a number on you.
288
00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:14,928
What are you
Talkin' about?
Oh, come on,
289
00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:16,396
She's just trying
To make you jealous.
290
00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:18,899
You're sucking it up
Like a hoover deluxe.
291
00:13:22,269 --> 00:13:24,271
No, I'm not.
I mean, first of all,
292
00:13:24,271 --> 00:13:25,772
I don't believe
This lance guy exists,
293
00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:27,107
But if he does exist,
294
00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:28,575
I don't believe
He's crazy about her.
295
00:13:28,575 --> 00:13:30,477
Even if he's exists
And he's crazy about her,
296
00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:32,412
He's gotta have
A face like a fish.
297
00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:37,817
Excuse me.
Is diane chambers here?
298
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:40,653
Uh, she'll be
Right back, mr...
299
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:41,855
Apollonaire.
300
00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:47,861
Check out what diane
Thinks is great-looking,
Will ya?
301
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:54,534
Carla?
302
00:14:10,650 --> 00:14:12,285
Is she gonna
Be all right?
303
00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:14,787
Yeah, of course she's
Gonna be all right.
304
00:14:14,787 --> 00:14:16,756
Yeah, I'm fine.
305
00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:18,658
I just had
This dream
306
00:14:18,658 --> 00:14:20,627
That I saw
The handsomest man.
307
00:14:21,929 --> 00:14:23,396
Ohhhhh!
308
00:14:24,764 --> 00:14:27,534
Would you stop that!
309
00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,002
Nice going, sam.
310
00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:30,870
I was hoping
He'd give me
Mouth to mouth.
311
00:14:32,139 --> 00:14:33,941
You still can,
You know.
312
00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,277
Diane's upstairs.
313
00:14:37,277 --> 00:14:38,678
She'll be right down.
314
00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:39,980
Can I get you something?
315
00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:41,814
How about a beer?
316
00:14:41,814 --> 00:14:46,686
Oh, dear. Now, I'm
Sorry, I'm gonna have
To as you for an I.D.
317
00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:48,288
Yeah, sure.
318
00:14:52,692 --> 00:14:54,627
Ha ha ha ha!
319
00:14:56,163 --> 00:14:57,497
Is something funny?
320
00:14:57,497 --> 00:15:01,268
Yeah. It says here
You're 6'2 1/2".
321
00:15:01,268 --> 00:15:02,202
So?
322
00:15:02,202 --> 00:15:04,371
Ha! I'm 6'3".
323
00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:10,710
Oh, diane,
Your little friend's
Here to see you.
324
00:15:10,710 --> 00:15:14,347
Lance, what are you
Doing here?
325
00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:15,782
I brought these
For you.
326
00:15:15,782 --> 00:15:19,219
6'2 1/2".
Ha ha ha.
327
00:15:19,219 --> 00:15:21,254
Oh, thank you.
They're beautiful.
328
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:23,256
They must have
Cost you a fortune.
329
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:25,725
Oh, no. I picked
Them all myself
330
00:15:25,725 --> 00:15:27,160
And arranged
Them, too.
331
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,729
I was hoping they
Might change your mind
332
00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:32,065
About going with me
To vermont.
333
00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:33,633
Lance,
I've already told you,
334
00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:36,169
It don't think it would be
A good idea
335
00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:38,538
For you and me
To go away together.
336
00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:41,308
Will you at least
Think about it?
337
00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:46,579
Ok.
338
00:15:46,579 --> 00:15:47,880
I'll...
339
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:49,749
I'll think about it.
340
00:15:49,749 --> 00:15:50,750
Fair enough.
341
00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:52,152
Talk to you
On friday.
342
00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:57,690
Oh, dear.
343
00:16:01,061 --> 00:16:03,763
Things are beginning
To get complicated.
344
00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:05,165
Lance is becoming
More insistent
345
00:16:05,165 --> 00:16:07,667
That I go away with him
This weekend.
346
00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:10,570
So, sam,
Should I go or not
347
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:14,374
With this figment
Of my imagination?
348
00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:16,276
Well, if you do,
Just make sure
He doesn't eat first.
349
00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:18,711
Children tend
To get carsick.
350
00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:25,285
I know I shouldn't even
Be considering it,
351
00:16:25,285 --> 00:16:27,787
But when
I look at him,
352
00:16:27,787 --> 00:16:29,922
I consider it.
353
00:16:29,922 --> 00:16:33,293
Excuse me, but
What happened to
The woman who said,
354
00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:36,096
"It's the inner
Man who counts"?
355
00:16:36,096 --> 00:16:41,434
That woman just pictured
Lance gathering flowers
In his bikini briefs.
356
00:16:44,171 --> 00:16:46,106
So did this one.
357
00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:54,614
Thank you, brother tanner,
358
00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:56,483
For reading the minutes
Of last week's meeting.
359
00:16:58,618 --> 00:17:01,621
Brother foley, what's
The next order of business?
360
00:17:01,621 --> 00:17:03,990
According to the
Agenda, high sultan,
361
00:17:03,990 --> 00:17:06,993
We're to welcome
Our newest member
362
00:17:06,993 --> 00:17:09,162
Into the knights
Of the scimitar.
363
00:17:09,162 --> 00:17:13,766
Ah, yes. Stand up,
Norm peterson,
And be welcomed.
364
00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:21,408
Norm, why don't you
Tell us a little
Bit about yourself.
365
00:17:21,408 --> 00:17:23,410
Well, there's really
Nothing to say, guys.
366
00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:25,412
Now, don't be modest.
367
00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:29,216
No, I mean it. There's
Really nothing to say.
368
00:17:29,216 --> 00:17:31,084
See, I was born
In chicago.
369
00:17:31,084 --> 00:17:34,154
I moved to boston and
Became an accountant.
370
00:17:34,154 --> 00:17:35,522
Are you married?
371
00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:36,523
Yeah.
372
00:17:36,523 --> 00:17:37,524
To?
373
00:17:37,524 --> 00:17:38,558
Long.
374
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:43,430
By the way,
In case you guys need
A good accountant,
375
00:17:43,430 --> 00:17:46,633
I did happen to bring
Some of my business
Cards along.
376
00:17:46,633 --> 00:17:48,668
Sorry, norm. I guess
You didn't get the word.
377
00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:53,340
It's against the rules
To do business with
Fellow lodge members.
378
00:17:56,176 --> 00:17:58,678
You know, cliff said...
379
00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:00,480
My fault for listening.
380
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:05,485
Well, norm. The time
Has now arrived...
381
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:09,256
For you to undergo
The initiation ritual.
382
00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:11,191
Stand, please.
383
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,094
Approach me.
384
00:18:23,670 --> 00:18:25,172
Are you prepared?
385
00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:29,442
Yeah.
386
00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:31,678
[gong]
387
00:18:31,678 --> 00:18:33,146
Congratulations!
388
00:18:38,084 --> 00:18:39,886
Just like that, huh?
389
00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:42,622
That's it. Grab a hat
And sword out of the bin.
390
00:18:43,490 --> 00:18:46,426
My god,
The pageantry!
391
00:18:46,426 --> 00:18:49,829
Ok. Our next order
Of business...
392
00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:52,499
Look,
I'm sorry about
That business.
393
00:18:52,499 --> 00:18:53,866
I didn't know.
I guess--
394
00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:55,535
Great time
To find out.
395
00:18:55,535 --> 00:18:57,537
If it's any
Consolation,
396
00:18:57,537 --> 00:18:59,739
These guys give
Great parties.
397
00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:01,241
Ho ho ho, hey.
398
00:19:01,241 --> 00:19:03,543
I thought this
Was gonna be
Really stupid,
399
00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:06,346
But these are a good
Bunch of guys.
400
00:19:06,346 --> 00:19:08,548
Have I ever
Steered you wrong?
401
00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:12,252
Yeah. That's why I
Thought it was gonna
Be stupid.
402
00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:14,554
Too bad about
The business stuff,
403
00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:17,257
But I feel
Pretty comfortable
With these guys.
404
00:19:17,257 --> 00:19:19,259
Thank you
For sponsoring me.
405
00:19:19,259 --> 00:19:21,728
Can't wait for some
Of these parties.
406
00:19:21,728 --> 00:19:23,396
Oh, before I forget,
407
00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:27,734
The referendum that we ban
Beer at all lodge functions
Has been passed.
408
00:19:27,734 --> 00:19:28,768
Good-bye!
409
00:19:43,483 --> 00:19:45,752
So, what time's
Peewee coming in?
410
00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:49,589
If you're
Referring to lance,
411
00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:51,791
I'm expecting
Him shortly--
412
00:19:51,791 --> 00:19:53,426
Soon.
413
00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:59,566
And I don't appreciate
These constant attempts
To denigrate him.
414
00:19:59,566 --> 00:20:02,569
Let me ask you
A question.
415
00:20:02,569 --> 00:20:05,238
What do you
See in him?
416
00:20:06,573 --> 00:20:10,109
You mean besides
A young, brainy,
417
00:20:10,109 --> 00:20:12,279
Stunningly gorgeous man
418
00:20:12,279 --> 00:20:14,213
With many interests
Similar to mine,
419
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:18,251
Who's fawning over me
And giving me all the attention
I could ever ask for?
420
00:20:18,251 --> 00:20:19,586
Yeah.
421
00:20:21,788 --> 00:20:23,290
I see...
422
00:20:23,290 --> 00:20:26,459
What I used
To see in you
423
00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:28,595
Before you decided
To spend the last few months
424
00:20:28,595 --> 00:20:30,663
Flogging me with your apathy.
425
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:34,734
I'm sorry, diane,
But that's all
I had handy.
426
00:20:38,605 --> 00:20:40,206
Hi, diane.
427
00:20:40,206 --> 00:20:41,841
Have you made a decision?
428
00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:45,545
Have I, sam?
429
00:20:45,545 --> 00:20:47,780
Send me a post card.
430
00:20:54,621 --> 00:20:57,223
I don't think I can go
431
00:20:57,223 --> 00:20:59,626
Because it would upset
Someone too much.
432
00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:02,362
Diane, go with
Someone's blessings.
433
00:21:04,230 --> 00:21:05,765
Excuse me.
434
00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:08,668
May I speak with you
For a moment?
435
00:21:08,668 --> 00:21:10,236
Hop up on
A stool there,
Lance.
436
00:21:10,236 --> 00:21:12,605
Carla, why don't
You pour him a beer.
437
00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:19,379
I know you're
Still smarting
438
00:21:19,379 --> 00:21:22,248
From my turning down
Your proposal
Of marriage,
439
00:21:22,248 --> 00:21:25,117
But how long can
You drag this out?
440
00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:27,654
You're hurting me
But you're also
Hurting yourself
441
00:21:27,654 --> 00:21:29,456
With this feigned
Indifference.
442
00:21:29,456 --> 00:21:30,890
Well, while we're talking
About hurting people,
443
00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:32,559
How do you think
Lance is gonna feel
444
00:21:32,559 --> 00:21:35,127
When he finds out
You're using him
To get to me?
445
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:36,963
I am not using him.
446
00:21:38,030 --> 00:21:39,532
I like him.
447
00:21:39,532 --> 00:21:41,267
He treats me
Wonderfully.
448
00:21:41,267 --> 00:21:44,804
And I don't,
So go with him.
449
00:21:48,007 --> 00:21:51,478
Mr. Malone, I'm about
To call your bluff.
450
00:21:51,478 --> 00:21:53,580
I'm going to go
With him,
451
00:21:53,580 --> 00:21:55,848
And I'm going to have
A great time,
452
00:21:55,848 --> 00:21:59,686
And it will leave you
A hollow, broken man.
453
00:22:03,222 --> 00:22:04,591
All right.
All right.
454
00:22:04,591 --> 00:22:09,228
Just watch while I give
You a little preview
455
00:22:09,228 --> 00:22:11,931
Of our weekend together.
456
00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:17,470
I'm going to kiss him
In front of you and the
Whole bar,
457
00:22:17,470 --> 00:22:20,373
And it's going
To kill you.
458
00:22:20,373 --> 00:22:21,741
Lance.
459
00:22:21,741 --> 00:22:24,043
This is
For the flowers.
460
00:22:33,420 --> 00:22:34,954
Now,
Mr. Indifference,
461
00:22:34,954 --> 00:22:36,489
You going to tell me
That doesn't
Bother you?
462
00:22:36,489 --> 00:22:37,857
Well, I have to admit,
463
00:22:37,857 --> 00:22:41,694
For a while there, my life
Passed before my eyes,
464
00:22:41,694 --> 00:22:44,063
But the funny thing is
You weren't in it.
465
00:22:44,063 --> 00:22:45,532
Right.
466
00:22:45,532 --> 00:22:47,967
Lance, let's go.
467
00:22:47,967 --> 00:22:49,001
Diane!
468
00:22:49,001 --> 00:22:50,537
Yes, sam.
469
00:22:50,537 --> 00:22:54,641
It would've bothered me
If he had done this.
470
00:23:11,524 --> 00:23:13,960
Yes, I can see
Where that
471
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:17,096
Might have given you
Cause for concern.
472
00:23:19,799 --> 00:23:22,902
So, diane, are you
About ready to go?
473
00:23:26,172 --> 00:23:27,540
Uh...
Lance.
474
00:23:27,540 --> 00:23:28,675
Thank you.
475
00:23:31,177 --> 00:23:33,746
Lance, I just remembered
476
00:23:33,746 --> 00:23:36,549
I have to work
This weekend.
477
00:23:36,549 --> 00:23:39,452
That's ok.
I understand.
478
00:23:40,553 --> 00:23:41,554
Lance: good-bye.
479
00:23:41,554 --> 00:23:42,689
Diane:
Good-bye, lance.
480
00:23:44,190 --> 00:23:47,560
Well, kid,
You blew it.
481
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:50,563
You know what would've
Really bothered sam?
482
00:23:50,563 --> 00:23:54,701
It would be if you had
Kissed her like this.
483
00:24:01,608 --> 00:24:03,375
Carla, you're not
Involved in this.
484
00:24:03,375 --> 00:24:04,777
I am now.
34109
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