Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,771 --> 00:00:07,508
Cheers is filmed before
A live studio audience.
2
00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:09,877
Hey!
Mr. Clavin's back.
3
00:00:09,877 --> 00:00:10,978
Hey, woody.
4
00:00:10,978 --> 00:00:12,313
How was your trip
To expo?
5
00:00:12,313 --> 00:00:15,049
A once-in-a-lifetime
Experience, I tell you.
6
00:00:15,049 --> 00:00:16,884
No ears have heard,
No eyes have seen
7
00:00:16,884 --> 00:00:20,321
The wonders I've experienced
These past 2 weeks in canada.
8
00:00:20,321 --> 00:00:23,023
If I died right now,
I'd be a happy person.
9
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:25,826
You wouldn't be
The only one.
10
00:00:25,826 --> 00:00:29,163
Hey, normie, you should've
Seen this 3-d movie they had
11
00:00:29,163 --> 00:00:30,898
About life in vancouver.
12
00:00:30,898 --> 00:00:32,366
With those glasses on,
13
00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:34,768
You felt like
You were there.
14
00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:37,138
You were there,
Cliff.
15
00:00:37,138 --> 00:00:38,472
I've been reading up
On expo.
16
00:00:38,472 --> 00:00:39,873
Did you catch that bullet
Train they got there?
17
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,075
No. I guess
I missed that one.
18
00:00:41,075 --> 00:00:43,477
Did you see the great
Hall of ramses?
19
00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:47,081
No, no. I guess
That slid right by me.
20
00:00:47,081 --> 00:00:49,483
How about the u.S.
Space exhibit?
21
00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:51,352
Hmm...No.
22
00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:54,422
Chinese acrobats?
23
00:00:54,422 --> 00:00:55,923
Uh-uh.
24
00:00:55,923 --> 00:00:58,359
Hey, cliff!
How was expo?
25
00:00:58,359 --> 00:01:01,295
A major
Disappointment, sam.
26
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,271
* making your way
In the world today *
27
00:01:10,271 --> 00:01:13,474
* takes everything
You've got *
28
00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:16,177
* taking a break
From all your worries *
29
00:01:16,177 --> 00:01:19,480
* sure would help a lot *
30
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:22,650
* wouldn't you like
To get away? *
31
00:01:25,386 --> 00:01:27,455
* sometimes
You wanna go *
32
00:01:27,455 --> 00:01:32,726
* where everybody
Knows your name *
33
00:01:32,726 --> 00:01:37,465
* and they're always
Glad you came *
34
00:01:37,465 --> 00:01:39,767
* you wanna be
Where you can see *
35
00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:42,470
* our troubles
Are all the same *
36
00:01:42,470 --> 00:01:46,607
* you wanna be where
Everybody knows your name *
37
00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:50,411
* you wanna go
Where people know *
38
00:01:50,411 --> 00:01:52,846
* people are all the same *
39
00:01:52,846 --> 00:01:57,418
* you wanna go where
Everybody knows your name *
40
00:02:17,371 --> 00:02:20,007
Sam, I need
A dewar's rocks
And a grand marnier.
41
00:02:20,007 --> 00:02:21,609
Coming up.
42
00:02:21,609 --> 00:02:23,977
Did you have a chance
To look at the catalog
I left for you?
43
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,346
What catalog?
44
00:02:25,346 --> 00:02:27,348
This catalog.
The silverware patterns--
45
00:02:27,348 --> 00:02:30,083
To go with our china
And fine crystal.
46
00:02:30,083 --> 00:02:33,086
Sam, we have to make
A decision if we're
Going to be registered.
47
00:02:33,086 --> 00:02:36,224
Some people in
The bar are starting
To ask about gifts.
48
00:02:36,224 --> 00:02:37,891
Who? What people?
Where?
49
00:02:37,891 --> 00:02:39,927
Aw, norm!
50
00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:43,297
I just asked
If you had to give
One, all right?
51
00:02:45,766 --> 00:02:47,100
Anyway, sam...
52
00:02:47,100 --> 00:02:48,869
Should we have
A big wedding?
53
00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:53,307
No. I think
We should have
A military one.
54
00:02:53,307 --> 00:02:56,544
All 21 guns aimed
At the bride.
55
00:02:59,247 --> 00:03:02,015
Hey, fitz!
Still irish?
56
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,551
As paddy's pig.
57
00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:04,352
All right!
58
00:03:04,352 --> 00:03:06,086
Make it the usual, sam.
59
00:03:06,086 --> 00:03:08,021
Ok. Drinks
For everybody.
60
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:09,823
[cheering]
61
00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:12,360
So who's the geezer?
62
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:13,727
That's mr. Fitzgerald.
63
00:03:13,727 --> 00:03:16,096
He's come in every day
For the past 2 weeks
64
00:03:16,096 --> 00:03:17,865
And bought drinks
For everybody.
65
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:19,700
He's a heck of a guy.
66
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,335
You know, I think
In many ways,
67
00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:23,036
Mr. Fitzgerald and I
Are alike.
68
00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:26,374
We both come here
Seeking warmth
And camaraderie,
69
00:03:26,374 --> 00:03:28,842
Safe haven from
The outside world...
70
00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:30,844
A place where
You can always
Feel welcome.
71
00:03:30,844 --> 00:03:33,213
Excuse me.
You're on
My stool.
72
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:34,915
Oh, I'm sorry.
73
00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:36,617
I didn't realize.
74
00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:42,055
Eh, look at him, huh?
75
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,491
Mr. Big shot over there.
76
00:03:43,491 --> 00:03:44,925
What does he think he is,
77
00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:46,727
A bon vivant
Or something?
78
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:49,196
He's about the
Richest guy you'll
Ever meet, cliff.
79
00:03:49,196 --> 00:03:51,765
Why don't we join him?
80
00:03:51,765 --> 00:03:53,166
Carla: hey, fitzie,
81
00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:55,102
Thanks for that
$20 tip last night,
82
00:03:55,102 --> 00:03:58,038
But I don't want you getting
The wrong idea about me.
83
00:03:58,038 --> 00:04:01,475
Carla, I know
That your favors
Are not for sale.
84
00:04:01,475 --> 00:04:04,612
See? That's what I mean
About the wrong idea.
85
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:08,115
Eh...Howdy.
86
00:04:08,115 --> 00:04:09,483
Cliff clavin.
87
00:04:09,483 --> 00:04:11,685
Duncan fitzgerald.
Nice to meet you.
88
00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:14,522
So, you live
In the neighborhood?
89
00:04:14,522 --> 00:04:16,223
I just moved here.
90
00:04:16,223 --> 00:04:18,091
I was originally
From michigan.
91
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,627
The wolverine state, huh?
92
00:04:19,627 --> 00:04:21,795
Heh heh heh.
Interesting, interesting.
93
00:04:21,795 --> 00:04:24,031
So, I hear you're
Stinking rich.
94
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:28,402
Real smooth, cliff.
Very smooth.
95
00:04:28,402 --> 00:04:31,238
Fitz is actually kind of a
Minor celebrity, I guess.
96
00:04:31,238 --> 00:04:34,875
He invented a little
Something we call
The refill, right?
97
00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:38,446
No, no, no. It wasn't
The refill. It was...
98
00:04:38,446 --> 00:04:41,114
The metal vapor
Input valve.
99
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:43,584
It's used
On most commercial
100
00:04:43,584 --> 00:04:45,519
And military
Jet engines.
101
00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:47,688
Oh, yeah. I never
Step on a plane
102
00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:48,956
Without looking
Right out on that wing
103
00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:50,724
And see if there's
One out there.
104
00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:53,226
Actually, it's located
In the tail.
105
00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:54,762
Well, yeah. Yeah.
106
00:04:54,762 --> 00:04:56,764
'cause if you saw it
On the wing,
107
00:04:56,764 --> 00:04:58,866
You'd know you're in
A lot of trouble.
108
00:05:00,401 --> 00:05:02,336
As long as we're
Talking business here,
109
00:05:02,336 --> 00:05:04,137
Who does your books, sir?
110
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:05,439
Mccann & williams.
111
00:05:05,439 --> 00:05:07,408
Mccann & williams. Can I
Talk to you about that
112
00:05:07,408 --> 00:05:08,876
Over a game of darts?
113
00:05:08,876 --> 00:05:10,077
Sure.
114
00:05:10,077 --> 00:05:12,279
I think I could
Do better than
Those guys.
115
00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:14,281
What do you like
Best about them?
116
00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:16,249
I must say, I like
Their aggressiveness.
117
00:05:16,249 --> 00:05:18,986
I think I can be
Just as aggressive.
118
00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:20,354
I doubt that.
119
00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:22,022
Yeah. You're
Probably right.
120
00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:25,659
He's a great guy.
121
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:28,729
Yeah. It's too bad
That we seem to be
His only family.
122
00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:30,564
No wife?
He's a
Widower.
123
00:05:30,564 --> 00:05:32,800
I'm telling you, with all
The millions he's got,
124
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:35,969
If I was an old bat,
I'd snatch him up
In a minute.
125
00:05:35,969 --> 00:05:38,038
Ma.
126
00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:39,540
What's that,
Cliff?
127
00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:41,074
Huh? Oh, uh...
128
00:05:41,074 --> 00:05:43,644
You know, my ma's been
Dying to come down here
129
00:05:43,644 --> 00:05:46,046
For years to meet
All the guys at the bar.
130
00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:49,517
Hey, tonight's as good
A night as any, huh?
131
00:05:49,517 --> 00:05:50,851
I wish I'd
Thought of that.
132
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:53,487
I'd try to
Get my mother
Down here first,
133
00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:56,624
But it takes
A forklift to get
Her off the couch.
134
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,398
Hey, clavin!
135
00:06:04,398 --> 00:06:05,999
Fitz really
Wants to leave.
136
00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:08,902
She's coming down.
Just hang on a minute.
137
00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:10,070
Hold him there.
138
00:06:11,405 --> 00:06:13,106
Hi there.
139
00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:16,009
Ma. What took you so
Long to get down here?
140
00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:19,212
I wanted
To look my best
For your friends.
141
00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:21,649
And this is
Two hours' worth?
142
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,552
Ma...
143
00:06:24,552 --> 00:06:26,319
This is cheers.
144
00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:28,355
Yeah. This is
The odor I'm always
145
00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:30,491
Washing out
Of your shirts.
146
00:06:32,159 --> 00:06:34,027
Come on in, ma.
I want to
Introduce you
147
00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:36,497
To the finest,
Greatest
Bunch of pals
148
00:06:36,497 --> 00:06:38,932
A guy could
Have anywhere
On the earth.
149
00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:40,133
I'm telling you.
150
00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:41,268
Everybody,
This is ma.
151
00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:43,571
Ma, this
Is everybody.
152
00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:45,606
Ma, you just stand right
There for a few seconds.
153
00:06:45,606 --> 00:06:47,107
I'll be right back.
154
00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:49,042
I guess mr. Clavin
Has told you a lot
About us, huh?
155
00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:51,278
No. Actually,
Clifford doesn't
156
00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:53,246
Talk much
Around the house.
157
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:54,448
That cliff?
158
00:06:54,448 --> 00:06:55,749
That's right.
159
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,317
Some days,
Not a peep.
160
00:06:57,317 --> 00:07:00,120
Of course, the
Same thing occurs
In nature, too.
161
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:04,391
It's a little
Known fact that
Arctic wolves
162
00:07:04,391 --> 00:07:06,393
That remained
In the den too long
163
00:07:06,393 --> 00:07:10,464
Exhibited a tendency
To be reticent
In their howling.
164
00:07:10,464 --> 00:07:11,565
Ah.
165
00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:13,133
When I read that--
166
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:16,670
Hey, ma, you're
Boring the pants off
These people here.
167
00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:20,440
Well, look who's here.
Ma, I'd like you to meet
168
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,610
A dear, dear old, very
Close friend of mine.
169
00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:25,746
Mr. Fitzgerald, this is
My ma, esther clavin.
170
00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:27,114
Nice
To meet you.
171
00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:29,382
Duncan here is
Originally from
Michigan, ma.
172
00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:31,485
Oh.
Have a seat.
173
00:07:31,485 --> 00:07:33,487
Yeah. My ma's been
To your home state.
174
00:07:33,487 --> 00:07:35,022
Oh, really?
175
00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:37,991
No. I've been to
Maine and montana,
But not michigan.
176
00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:40,828
Ha ha! Isn't that
Fascinating, huh?
177
00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:43,396
Perhaps, if you
Live in a cave.
178
00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:46,867
Ha ha ha! Isn't she
A firecracker?
179
00:07:52,773 --> 00:07:54,875
Uh...
Say, mrs. Clavin,
180
00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:56,944
Did you know
That fitz over there
181
00:07:56,944 --> 00:08:00,113
Invented
A technical gismo
On jet airplanes?
182
00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:01,248
Oh, really?
183
00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:02,716
What a coincidence, huh, ma?
184
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:05,686
You've ridden in jet planes
Before, haven't you?
185
00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:08,556
No. I walked
To montana.
186
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,126
Normie,
I'm sinking fast.
187
00:08:13,126 --> 00:08:14,127
All right, all right.
188
00:08:14,127 --> 00:08:15,362
I got it.
189
00:08:15,362 --> 00:08:16,764
Correct me if I'm wrong,
190
00:08:16,764 --> 00:08:19,466
But didn't you two
Share a war together?
191
00:08:19,466 --> 00:08:20,968
Hey! Yeah!
192
00:08:22,536 --> 00:08:23,737
Uh...That's,
That's right.
193
00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:25,839
Ma, where were
You during
The big one?
194
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:29,009
Clifford, you know
I was in new york.
195
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:31,779
Iworked at the uso
On 42nd street.
196
00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:33,914
I was in charge
Of table games.
197
00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:36,584
Universal
Checker
Championships,
198
00:08:36,584 --> 00:08:39,119
Tuesdays
And thursdays
At 9 p.M.
199
00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:40,821
Oh, my goodness!
200
00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:43,190
Ladies red,
Gentlemen black.
201
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:44,491
Your host...
202
00:08:44,491 --> 00:08:45,959
Bobby holloway!
Bobby holloway!
203
00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:48,095
Ha ha ha!
That's right.
204
00:08:48,095 --> 00:08:49,630
Bobby holloway.
205
00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:51,264
Bobby holloway...
206
00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:54,367
Oh, bobby holloway.
207
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,036
Isn't this beautiful, huh?
208
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:58,438
Why don't you two
Finish up your reminiscing
209
00:08:58,438 --> 00:09:00,674
Over some nice
Baked sea bass?
210
00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:02,976
It's a special up there
At melville's.
211
00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:05,078
Well, I could
Use a bite.
212
00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:08,381
Well, I guess
I'm feeling kind
Of peckish, too.
213
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:10,851
Great. Listen,
It's my treat.
214
00:09:10,851 --> 00:09:13,621
I absolutely,
Positively insist.
215
00:09:13,621 --> 00:09:15,088
Dinner is on me.
216
00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:17,290
Oh, I can take
Care of it, cliff.
217
00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:18,626
You got it.
218
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:22,562
Oh, what lovely
Buttons.
219
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:23,797
Did you know
220
00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:25,799
That buttons on a man's
Jacket sleeve
221
00:09:25,799 --> 00:09:27,868
Have absolutely
No purpose?
222
00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:31,271
They originated
On the uniforms
Of napoleon's army
223
00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:35,308
When he discovered
That his soldiers were
Using their sleeves
224
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:36,777
To wipe their noses.
225
00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:39,046
Ohh! She's gonna
Flap her gums
226
00:09:39,046 --> 00:09:41,248
All the way
To the poorhouse.
227
00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:48,956
Hey, cliff.
228
00:09:48,956 --> 00:09:50,858
Hey, sammy, have you
Heard the latest
229
00:09:50,858 --> 00:09:52,125
In the ma-fitz romance?
230
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:53,761
No, no.
What's going on?
231
00:09:53,761 --> 00:09:55,729
They're celebrating
Their first week together
232
00:09:55,729 --> 00:09:57,464
With a picnic
On the charles.
233
00:09:57,464 --> 00:10:00,801
Charles. That's
Make-out capital
Of the world.
234
00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:03,170
If he does
As well as I do,
There's gonna be
235
00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:05,806
A lot of panting and
Rolling around...
236
00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:09,276
Shopping.
237
00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:12,012
There's a mall right
Next to the charles.
238
00:10:14,682 --> 00:10:16,784
Oh, speaking
Of the devil...
239
00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:19,552
Hey, ma, fitz,
I thought you two were
240
00:10:19,552 --> 00:10:20,821
On the way
To the charles.
241
00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:22,322
Well, we are.
242
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:23,957
Are you busy?
243
00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:26,559
What's up, ma?
244
00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:28,128
Sit down, son.
245
00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:35,335
Clifford, now, I know
How much your father
Meant to you,
246
00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:40,307
And I know it's going
To take a while for you
To adjust to this--
247
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,142
To having a new father.
248
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:43,677
Daddy!
249
00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:48,048
My god!
250
00:10:48,048 --> 00:10:51,985
Clifford, ihaven't even
Kissed him on the lips!
251
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:54,587
Hey, everybody!
Wedding bells at
The clavin compound!
252
00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:56,857
[cheering]
253
00:10:56,857 --> 00:10:58,491
When's the
Happy day, folks?
254
00:10:58,491 --> 00:10:59,659
Tomorrow.
255
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,561
Cliff:
Sammy, champagne.
256
00:11:01,561 --> 00:11:03,130
Duncan, I'm gonna
Throw you
257
00:11:03,130 --> 00:11:04,932
The biggest
Bachelor bash
258
00:11:04,932 --> 00:11:06,399
Beantown has ever seen!
259
00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:08,101
Normie, call
All my friends.
260
00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:09,602
I think he
Moved, cliff.
261
00:11:09,602 --> 00:11:12,039
Well, then call all yours.
262
00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:14,341
Woody, I'm gonna make you
Entertainment chairman.
263
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:15,876
Hot dog!
264
00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:17,677
Get on the horn.
Call the parker house,
265
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:20,247
And order me up
Their fanciest room.
266
00:11:20,247 --> 00:11:21,214
You got it.
267
00:11:21,214 --> 00:11:23,817
Wow! My first
Bachelor party.
268
00:11:23,817 --> 00:11:25,185
No dates, right?
269
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:26,319
No.
270
00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:28,922
Hey, uh,
271
00:11:28,922 --> 00:11:30,557
Congratulations
There, fitzie.
272
00:11:30,557 --> 00:11:31,825
Thank you.
273
00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:33,827
If things
Don't work out
With esther,
274
00:11:33,827 --> 00:11:35,929
Here is my
Mother's number.
275
00:11:35,929 --> 00:11:38,365
Let it ring 10
Or 15 minutes.
276
00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:39,833
She'll get
There.
277
00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:43,436
Oh...You two.
278
00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:45,739
I'm so happy for you.
279
00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:47,140
You know, cliff,
280
00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:50,077
Your mother is
The first person
Who's ever
281
00:11:50,077 --> 00:11:53,180
Really loved me
For me instead of
My checkbook.
282
00:11:53,180 --> 00:11:54,281
Oh, ma...
283
00:11:54,281 --> 00:11:55,715
That's why
I'm donating
284
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,885
The bulk
Of my fortune
To charity.
285
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:16,303
Giving...
Money...Away?
286
00:12:16,303 --> 00:12:19,139
Actually, it was
Your mother's idea.
287
00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:20,373
Ma's?
288
00:12:20,373 --> 00:12:22,109
I didn't want duncan
289
00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:24,812
To have any doubts
About my feelings.
290
00:12:24,812 --> 00:12:26,313
How are you two
Gonna live?
291
00:12:26,313 --> 00:12:28,015
I'm not going to
Give it all away.
292
00:12:28,015 --> 00:12:29,616
I'll keep enough for the two
Of us to be comfortable.
293
00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:32,652
We're simple people.
We don't need much to live.
294
00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:34,421
And you're
Self-sufficient,
295
00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:37,791
Not to mention that
Postal pension you're
Always bragging about.
296
00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:40,760
Mr. Clavin, it's
The parker house.
297
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,095
They want to know
If you want
298
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:44,231
The embassy court or
The grand ballroom.
299
00:12:44,231 --> 00:12:46,466
Give me that.
Give me that phone!
300
00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:48,035
Fraternity prank.
301
00:12:48,035 --> 00:12:50,003
What are you,
Nuts, woody?
302
00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:51,939
I can't
Afford a party.
303
00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:54,875
Parties are for
Rich people. I'm poor.
304
00:12:54,875 --> 00:12:57,544
I've always been poor.
I'll always be poor.
305
00:12:57,544 --> 00:12:59,279
I'm gonna
Die poor.
306
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:02,049
I'd like to resign
As entertainment chairman.
307
00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:05,853
I don't know how
To say this to you
Without offending you,
308
00:13:05,853 --> 00:13:07,787
But you're behaving
Like a class "A" jerk.
309
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:10,757
Oh, am I? What have I
Got to celebrate?
310
00:13:10,757 --> 00:13:13,726
For one thing,
Your mother's met
A very nice man
311
00:13:13,726 --> 00:13:15,495
Who's making her
Very happy.
312
00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:16,563
And?
313
00:13:16,563 --> 00:13:17,998
Cliff!
314
00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:20,700
Well...
315
00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:21,935
All right.
316
00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:23,937
Of course
You're right.
317
00:13:25,572 --> 00:13:28,441
I guess I just forgot
How much ma means to me.
318
00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:31,311
I'll have the party
For her sake.
319
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:34,047
It'll just have to be
The economy version--
320
00:13:34,047 --> 00:13:35,748
You know, no frills.
321
00:13:35,748 --> 00:13:37,951
If it'll help out,
We'll close the bar early,
322
00:13:37,951 --> 00:13:39,786
And you can
Have it here.
323
00:13:39,786 --> 00:13:41,221
Thank you, samuel.
324
00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:42,990
That's very nice of you.
325
00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:45,993
Hey! Hey, wait a second.
Who knows?
326
00:13:45,993 --> 00:13:47,995
When fitz sees what
A nice guy I am,
327
00:13:47,995 --> 00:13:50,363
Maybe he'll remember
Me in his will.
328
00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:54,834
Yeah. "To the idiot son of
My new wife, I leave squat."
329
00:14:02,609 --> 00:14:05,612
Mr. Clavin, some of your
Guests have been asking
330
00:14:05,612 --> 00:14:08,781
If they could take
The plastic wrap
Off the food.
331
00:14:08,781 --> 00:14:12,052
Don't they understand when
Food is exposed to air,
332
00:14:12,052 --> 00:14:13,553
Just about anything
Can happen.
333
00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:15,555
Yeah. People
Could eat it.
334
00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:18,658
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Very funny, wise guy.
335
00:14:18,658 --> 00:14:20,360
Oink oink,
Mr. Peterson.
336
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,162
Let's have a
Little restraint.
337
00:14:22,162 --> 00:14:24,932
This food's got
To last us the
Rest of the night.
338
00:14:25,933 --> 00:14:27,935
Ho! The girls are here!
339
00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:33,840
Sammy, I thought
This was going to be
A low-budget affair.
340
00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:34,975
My treat.
341
00:14:34,975 --> 00:14:37,710
Well, in that case--
Ladies, welcome.
342
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:39,046
Shake it, bake it,
343
00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:41,348
Let's see if
We can take it.
344
00:14:41,348 --> 00:14:44,084
Come on in. Let me
Introduce you
345
00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:46,353
To the guest
Of honor tonight.
346
00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:47,654
There he is.
347
00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:48,989
Sic 'im.
348
00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:53,493
[exotic music playing]
349
00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:01,034
So, fitz, how are
You enjoying
350
00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:02,369
Your bachelor party
So far?
351
00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:04,237
I haven't been
This excited
352
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:08,308
Since I first trapped
Vapor in my input valve.
353
00:15:08,308 --> 00:15:11,644
No man forgets
His first time, huh?
354
00:15:11,644 --> 00:15:13,013
Oh...Oh, my!
355
00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:15,082
Don't worry, fitz.
They're not gonna bite.
356
00:15:15,082 --> 00:15:17,384
He's right.
That costs extra.
357
00:15:19,386 --> 00:15:20,287
Hey.
358
00:15:20,287 --> 00:15:22,089
Hey, what are you
Doing back here?
359
00:15:22,089 --> 00:15:23,923
I thought you
Had a bachelorette
Party going.
360
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:25,892
Yeah, but I have to
Borrow some money
361
00:15:25,892 --> 00:15:27,760
Against next week's loan.
362
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,596
Can you give me 50 bucks?
363
00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:32,465
All right.
What do you
Need it for?
364
00:15:32,465 --> 00:15:35,468
We're going to
A dance recital.
365
00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:38,171
You need 50 bucks
For a dance recital?
366
00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:39,606
We have to have
Something
367
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:42,109
To stick in the
Guys' underwear.
368
00:15:42,109 --> 00:15:44,411
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
369
00:15:44,411 --> 00:15:46,013
Good for you.
370
00:15:46,013 --> 00:15:48,581
Esther here is ok.
371
00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:50,517
I mean, you can't
Blame her for
372
00:15:50,517 --> 00:15:52,452
One horrible crime
Against humanity.
373
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:53,853
Ha ha ha!
374
00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:56,123
Where, uh...
Where's diane?
375
00:15:56,123 --> 00:15:58,225
We ditched her.
376
00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:01,528
There you are!
377
00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:06,899
How on earth did we
Get separated?
378
00:16:06,899 --> 00:16:08,335
I have no idea.
379
00:16:08,335 --> 00:16:10,070
I thought we all
Got in the taxi,
380
00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:12,072
But when it pulled away
From the curb,
381
00:16:12,072 --> 00:16:14,207
I was the only one inside.
382
00:16:18,245 --> 00:16:21,681
This is fun,
But you girls are
Gonna have to leave.
383
00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:23,250
This is
Men only here.
384
00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:26,053
Oh...
Ok, ok.
Ohh.
385
00:16:26,053 --> 00:16:27,987
You know,
Instead of going
386
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:29,822
To that club
You suggested,
387
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,258
We could
Try cafe ole.
388
00:16:31,258 --> 00:16:33,460
They have a wonderful
New harpist, I hear.
389
00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:34,461
Oh, great.
390
00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:36,729
No. That sounds
Like fun.
391
00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:38,898
I'll hail a cab.
392
00:16:38,898 --> 00:16:40,367
Let's go!
393
00:16:43,203 --> 00:16:46,439
Hey, normie, things are
Going very smoothly.
394
00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:50,110
Yeah. I think fitz
Might donate some money
To my favorite charity.
395
00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:51,244
Yeah. What's that?
396
00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:53,546
Save the clavin
Foundation.
397
00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:57,650
Fitz: cliff! I am having
The time of my life!
398
00:16:57,650 --> 00:16:59,219
I knew
You would, fitz.
399
00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:02,055
You know, I didn't warm
Up to you at first,
400
00:17:02,055 --> 00:17:06,059
But I'm beginning
To think you're not
So bad after all.
401
00:17:06,059 --> 00:17:07,994
What made you
Come to that
Conclusion?
402
00:17:07,994 --> 00:17:10,130
Figure it out
For yourself.
403
00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:19,472
She says to
Her girlfriend,
404
00:17:19,472 --> 00:17:22,875
"Maybe so,
But this one is
Eating my popcorn."
405
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,077
[laughter]
406
00:17:24,077 --> 00:17:26,546
Ok, ok. I guess
It's time for me
407
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,248
To take off the
Psychiatrist cap
408
00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:30,417
And tell one of my own.
409
00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:32,685
It seems there's
These two men stranded
410
00:17:32,685 --> 00:17:35,222
On a deserted island--
Doug and dave.
411
00:17:35,222 --> 00:17:38,458
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
This is better with dialects.
412
00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:42,429
So an irishman and a dane
Are stranded on a--
413
00:17:42,429 --> 00:17:44,731
No. I don't do danish.
414
00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:45,998
Um...
415
00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:48,168
Ok! An irishman
And a swede.
416
00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:49,569
All right.
That's it.
417
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:52,572
Patrick and lars. So lars
Turns to patrick one day,
418
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:55,775
And he goes, "How much
Vater have you left?"
419
00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:57,277
Ha ha!
420
00:17:57,277 --> 00:17:58,745
Oh, no, gee,
Wait a second.
421
00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:02,815
I think one of them is
Supposed to be a rabbi. Uh...
422
00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:05,752
[music playing]
423
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:07,354
Ho!
424
00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:14,026
It's king
Of the conga.
425
00:18:14,026 --> 00:18:15,762
Hey, cliffie,
How am I doing?
426
00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:18,331
Ah, you're a vision,
Fitz--a vision!
427
00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:20,667
Woody,
I don't think
428
00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:22,302
I've done that
Since my wedding.
429
00:18:22,302 --> 00:18:23,870
You congaed
At your wedding?
430
00:18:23,870 --> 00:18:25,372
No. I sweated.
431
00:18:26,673 --> 00:18:29,509
Ok. Now, I want to get
The punch line just right,
432
00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:32,345
Because otherwise,
I'll ruin the whole joke.
433
00:18:32,345 --> 00:18:34,447
You know, it's awfully
Noisy out here.
434
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:36,849
Would you mind?
It's kind of distracting.
435
00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:38,151
I'll be back in a second.
436
00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:40,853
Kick up your heels,
Fitz. Faster!
437
00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:43,089
Hey, fitz! Fitz, maybe you
Ought to sit one out.
438
00:18:43,089 --> 00:18:44,357
You've been going
Pretty hard there.
439
00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:46,259
No, sammy, it's his
Last night to howl.
440
00:18:46,259 --> 00:18:47,627
Let him
Live it up, huh?
441
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:49,562
Thank you, cliffie.
You've given me
442
00:18:49,562 --> 00:18:52,165
Of the very great
Nights of my life.
443
00:18:52,165 --> 00:18:53,600
I want
To promise you
444
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:56,669
I'm gonna take very
Good care of you.
445
00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:04,143
Sammy, is there
A tear in my eye?
446
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,378
No. No.
447
00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:07,847
Are there dollar
Signs in my eye?
448
00:19:09,282 --> 00:19:11,384
Yeah, I think
There are, cliffie.
449
00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:13,686
Ha ha!
Oh! Hey, normie!
450
00:19:13,686 --> 00:19:16,356
Did you hear that?
I'm gonna be
Rolling in it.
451
00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:19,326
You've been
Rolling in it for
Years, cliff.
452
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:22,729
Come quick!
This is terrible!
453
00:19:22,729 --> 00:19:23,896
Fitz is really sick!
454
00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:25,232
Oh, my god!
455
00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:28,801
Ok. I've got it!
456
00:19:28,801 --> 00:19:32,872
Glory be, nobody knows
The rubble I've seen.
457
00:19:32,872 --> 00:19:34,207
Ha ha ha!
458
00:19:34,207 --> 00:19:36,309
No, no.
That wasn't it.
459
00:19:40,079 --> 00:19:42,949
Before we go home,
One more time.
460
00:19:42,949 --> 00:19:44,717
Fitz.
Hell of a guy.
461
00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:46,219
To fitz.
Fitz.
462
00:19:49,322 --> 00:19:51,324
It was
A lovely service.
463
00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:55,495
And, diane, your choice
Of poem was wonderful.
464
00:19:56,496 --> 00:19:58,765
Thank you.
I just wish
465
00:19:58,765 --> 00:20:01,033
I hadn't been cut off
Right in the middle.
466
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:05,538
We had to.
The eternal flame was
Starting to go out.
467
00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:06,973
Good night,
Sammy.
468
00:20:06,973 --> 00:20:08,575
Yeah. Good night, all.
469
00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:10,577
You know,
Funerals are a lot
Different here
470
00:20:10,577 --> 00:20:12,412
Than they are
Back home.
471
00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:14,146
Norm: yeah?
How's that, woody?
472
00:20:14,146 --> 00:20:16,148
Where I come from,
When somebody dies,
473
00:20:16,148 --> 00:20:18,485
People come
From miles around,
474
00:20:18,485 --> 00:20:20,420
Bake lots of pies,
475
00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:22,455
Bring all kinds
Of food,
476
00:20:22,455 --> 00:20:25,892
Make speeches,
Ride the roller coaster.
477
00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:28,895
Oh, wait. That might
Be the state fair.
478
00:20:36,002 --> 00:20:37,670
Ma?
479
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:39,071
You ok?
480
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,540
I'm fine.
481
00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:44,110
I just was going to
Straighten up here a little.
482
00:20:44,110 --> 00:20:46,178
You don't have to
Do that, ma.
483
00:20:46,178 --> 00:20:47,747
No. I want to.
484
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:50,617
Oh, will you
Look at the rings
On this table!
485
00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:52,919
Don't people use
Coasters anymore?
486
00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:57,790
Ma...Whenever
You're trying to hide
Something inside,
487
00:20:57,790 --> 00:21:01,193
You pick up some
Household chore to do.
488
00:21:01,193 --> 00:21:03,463
I don't know
If you realize it,
489
00:21:03,463 --> 00:21:07,534
But since fitz passed away,
You haven't cried,
490
00:21:07,534 --> 00:21:09,369
You haven't got upset,
491
00:21:09,369 --> 00:21:11,504
You haven't shown
Any kind of emotion.
492
00:21:11,504 --> 00:21:13,340
What's there
To be upset about?
493
00:21:13,340 --> 00:21:14,907
I barely knew
The man.
494
00:21:14,907 --> 00:21:17,810
We just have some
Good times together,
That's all.
495
00:21:17,810 --> 00:21:19,446
Ma...
496
00:21:19,446 --> 00:21:21,481
Stop wiping.
497
00:21:23,716 --> 00:21:26,686
[crying]
498
00:21:26,686 --> 00:21:30,790
That's it. You just
Let it all out now.
499
00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:32,525
[sobbing]
500
00:21:34,327 --> 00:21:37,430
Good, good. Now, don't
You feel better?
501
00:21:37,430 --> 00:21:39,566
[sobbing]
502
00:21:42,001 --> 00:21:45,304
Yeah. That should
Just about do it, huh?
503
00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:47,440
[sobbing]
504
00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:52,379
Good. One last
Little spit.
505
00:21:52,379 --> 00:21:54,514
[sobbing]
506
00:21:55,948 --> 00:21:57,984
Ma, you know,
There's a fine line
507
00:21:57,984 --> 00:22:00,953
Between expressing your
Feelings and blubbering.
508
00:22:06,258 --> 00:22:08,928
I'm sorry. I guess
You're right.
509
00:22:08,928 --> 00:22:11,297
I'll get you
A glass of water.
510
00:22:11,297 --> 00:22:13,065
Oh, well.
511
00:22:13,065 --> 00:22:14,767
Life goes on.
512
00:22:16,436 --> 00:22:18,671
I guess I have to
Accept the fact
513
00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:22,642
That I'm not
The type that good
Things happen to.
514
00:22:22,642 --> 00:22:26,579
Well, I don't know, ma.
I mean, there is
515
00:22:26,579 --> 00:22:29,081
One good thing
That happened to you
516
00:22:29,081 --> 00:22:31,818
About, uh...37 years ago.
517
00:22:33,386 --> 00:22:35,054
There certainly was.
518
00:22:35,054 --> 00:22:38,658
Not many women
Get to shake hands
With bing crosby.
519
00:22:42,261 --> 00:22:44,631
Well, there you are, huh?
520
00:22:46,399 --> 00:22:50,136
Oh, cliff,
You know I mean you.
521
00:22:51,471 --> 00:22:53,940
You're my pride and joy.
522
00:22:53,940 --> 00:22:57,477
You're the best thing
That ever happened to me.
523
00:22:59,011 --> 00:23:01,213
Gee, think of that.
36817
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof