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1
00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:05,639
Cheers is filmed before
A live studio audience.
2
00:00:07,308 --> 00:00:09,777
You go all over town...
3
00:00:09,777 --> 00:00:12,913
There ought to be a law...
4
00:00:12,913 --> 00:00:14,148
Bunch of meatheads...
5
00:00:14,148 --> 00:00:15,983
So it's true.
He keeps on talking
6
00:00:15,983 --> 00:00:18,152
Even when people
Aren't there.
7
00:00:18,152 --> 00:00:20,454
Yes, but if no one's
There to hear it,
8
00:00:20,454 --> 00:00:23,391
Does he really
Make a sound?
9
00:00:23,391 --> 00:00:26,260
Cliffie, is it
Worth my asking
What the problem is?
10
00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:27,895
Yeah, norm.
It's my transmission.
11
00:00:27,895 --> 00:00:30,898
Spend day after day taking it
To garages all over town.
12
00:00:30,898 --> 00:00:32,700
Nobody can fix it.
13
00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:34,102
Here we go, cliffie.
14
00:00:34,102 --> 00:00:35,636
Pearson's garage.
15
00:00:35,636 --> 00:00:37,138
Braintree.
16
00:00:37,138 --> 00:00:39,140
They can fix anything.
All right?
17
00:00:39,140 --> 00:00:41,542
Yeah. Thank you
Very much, normie.
18
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:44,478
Um...You know,
My toaster's
On the blink.
19
00:00:44,478 --> 00:00:46,214
You think they
Could fix it?
20
00:00:46,214 --> 00:00:50,017
Well, only if you
Got one in your car.
21
00:00:50,017 --> 00:00:52,653
See, they're
Auto mechanics, woody.
22
00:00:52,653 --> 00:00:56,124
Oh, great.
It's in the back
Seat right now.
23
00:00:57,425 --> 00:00:59,127
All right. Take it
Easy, norm.
24
00:00:59,127 --> 00:01:01,495
The kid's good, but
You can take him.
25
00:01:01,495 --> 00:01:03,364
I have to select
My words...
26
00:01:03,364 --> 00:01:04,898
Rather carefully here.
27
00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,434
Woody, uh...
28
00:01:06,434 --> 00:01:09,002
They can fix
Only those things
29
00:01:09,002 --> 00:01:11,305
That originally
Came with the car
30
00:01:11,305 --> 00:01:12,840
When you bought it.
31
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:15,643
As far as I know,
Cars don't come
With toasters.
32
00:01:15,643 --> 00:01:16,777
Mine did.
33
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,613
It was part
Of a promotional
Campaign.
34
00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:21,282
If I'd have bought
A convertible,
35
00:01:21,282 --> 00:01:23,651
I'd have got
A food processor.
36
00:01:23,651 --> 00:01:25,353
Ask for luis.
37
00:01:25,353 --> 00:01:27,621
He doesn't
Speak english.
38
00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:37,165
* making your way
In the world today *
39
00:01:37,165 --> 00:01:40,368
* takes everything
You've got *
40
00:01:40,368 --> 00:01:43,070
* taking a break
From all your worries *
41
00:01:43,070 --> 00:01:46,374
* sure would help a lot *
42
00:01:46,374 --> 00:01:49,543
* wouldn't you like
To get away? *
43
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,348
* sometimes
You wanna go *
44
00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:59,620
* where everybody
Knows your name *
45
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:04,358
* and they're always
Glad you came *
46
00:02:04,358 --> 00:02:06,660
* you wanna be
Where you can see *
47
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:09,363
* our troubles
Are all the same *
48
00:02:09,363 --> 00:02:13,634
* you wanna be where
Everybody knows your name *
49
00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:17,305
* you wanna go
Where people know *
50
00:02:17,305 --> 00:02:19,740
* people are all the same *
51
00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:24,312
* you wanna go where
Everybody knows your name *
52
00:02:43,297 --> 00:02:45,899
Uh, woody, uh...
Whiskey, neat.
53
00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:48,302
Frasier, what are
You doing here?
54
00:02:48,302 --> 00:02:50,304
I thought you
Had a date tonight.
55
00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:52,306
I did, but when
I showed up,
56
00:02:52,306 --> 00:02:54,442
She was in the middle
Of a shower.
57
00:02:54,442 --> 00:02:56,244
Well, couldn't you wait?
58
00:02:56,244 --> 00:02:58,712
It was her bridal shower.
59
00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:02,816
Next time I make a date
Two months in advance,
60
00:03:02,816 --> 00:03:04,685
I'll call to confirm.
61
00:03:05,953 --> 00:03:07,120
Good afternoon,
Everybody.
62
00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:08,456
Hey, sam. How were
The mountains?
63
00:03:08,456 --> 00:03:10,157
It rained all weekend.
64
00:03:10,157 --> 00:03:11,692
Sam, you forgot this.
65
00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,193
Oh, yeah, right.
66
00:03:16,330 --> 00:03:18,666
In other words,
It was great. Whoo!
67
00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:20,133
Ah!
68
00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:23,671
Hey, diane. How you
Doing there?
69
00:03:23,671 --> 00:03:25,506
How am I doing?
70
00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:28,175
Did you ask me
How I'm doing?
71
00:03:28,175 --> 00:03:30,177
No, not me.
That was woody.
72
00:03:30,177 --> 00:03:31,879
He's a ventriloquist.
73
00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:35,649
What's the matter?
74
00:03:37,851 --> 00:03:39,520
Last week...
75
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:40,754
Yeah.
76
00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:42,990
We were
At passion's portal...
77
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,494
Standing on the threshold
78
00:03:46,494 --> 00:03:50,398
Of a new and excitingly
Textured relationship.
79
00:03:50,398 --> 00:03:52,400
We were about
To open the door
80
00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:54,435
On a brand-new
Beginning for us.
81
00:03:54,435 --> 00:03:57,938
Well, I knocked
At the door,
82
00:03:57,938 --> 00:03:59,172
But nobody was home,
83
00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:02,776
So I went to the
Mountains with
The girl next door.
84
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:06,680
I see. Apparently,
Last week meant
85
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:08,716
More to me
Than it did to you.
86
00:04:08,716 --> 00:04:11,519
Oh, come on! What
Are you doing here?
87
00:04:11,519 --> 00:04:13,287
Are you saying
That even though
88
00:04:13,287 --> 00:04:14,722
We're not really
Going together,
89
00:04:14,722 --> 00:04:17,425
You want me not to
Date anybody else.
90
00:04:17,425 --> 00:04:18,926
It's not what I want, sam.
91
00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:20,794
It's what you want
That's important.
92
00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:22,796
Well, good, because
What I wanted do do
93
00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:25,032
Was go to
The mountains
With andrea.
94
00:04:25,032 --> 00:04:27,868
Very well.
Let's just forget
The whole thing.
95
00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:29,437
Oh, come on!
96
00:04:29,437 --> 00:04:31,472
Diane, it was
Just physical.
97
00:04:31,472 --> 00:04:35,008
That stuff doesn't
Mean anything to me.
98
00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:36,810
Don't you see
What I'm doing here?
99
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:38,846
I'm just honing my skills
For that magical night
100
00:04:38,846 --> 00:04:41,515
That you and I
Hit the sheets running.
101
00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:44,318
Sam, you
And I will couple
102
00:04:44,318 --> 00:04:48,656
When 1,000 ice ages
Have come and gone.
103
00:04:48,656 --> 00:04:51,725
All right. How soon do
We get to play touchy-feely?
104
00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:54,227
Oh, lighten up,
Will you?
105
00:04:54,227 --> 00:04:56,129
Good evening, citizens.
106
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:57,598
You look a little
Beat, buddy.
107
00:04:57,598 --> 00:04:59,433
Been saying up late
Watching
108
00:04:59,433 --> 00:05:01,268
Those adult movies
On cable again?
109
00:05:01,268 --> 00:05:04,572
Ma put a lock
On that channel.
110
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:08,442
Ehh...
111
00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:09,810
It's my paper boy, normie.
112
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,812
He's hitting every place
But the front porch.
113
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,881
So I got a little
Plan worked out.
114
00:05:13,881 --> 00:05:16,850
Now, get this. 4:30 tomorrow
Morning, in the a.M.,
115
00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:18,852
I'm gonna put on the old
Camouflage jacket,
116
00:05:18,852 --> 00:05:21,254
Stick a couple of
Branches behind my ears,
117
00:05:21,254 --> 00:05:22,790
And duck into the
Rhododendron bush.
118
00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:24,992
He's smart, but I'm
A little bit smarter.
119
00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:28,362
You talking about
The kid or the
Rhododendron bush?
120
00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:32,633
I want to see
All my employees
121
00:05:32,633 --> 00:05:34,702
In my office immediately.
122
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:38,572
Cheers staff,
This means you.
123
00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:40,774
In the office,
On the double.
124
00:05:43,544 --> 00:05:45,379
Hey, come on.
You heard me.
125
00:05:45,379 --> 00:05:47,948
We didn't hear
The magic word.
126
00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:49,883
Oh, uh, please.
127
00:05:49,883 --> 00:05:51,084
That's not it.
128
00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:54,522
Come on, carla.
What's the magic word?
129
00:05:54,522 --> 00:05:57,057
Money. We all
Want a dollar.
130
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:02,195
Ok, ok. All right.
131
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,864
Come on, come on.
Here you go.
132
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:05,132
Here's one for you.
Here you go.
133
00:06:05,132 --> 00:06:06,333
One for you.
134
00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:07,835
One for you.
135
00:06:07,835 --> 00:06:10,103
Wait, whoa. What are
You trying to do,
136
00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:11,639
Beat me out
Of a buck here?
137
00:06:11,639 --> 00:06:14,307
Sammy, I'm here out of
A fierce sense of loyalty
138
00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:15,776
As your accountant, pal.
139
00:06:15,776 --> 00:06:18,846
The dollar is your little way
Of saying thank you.
140
00:06:18,846 --> 00:06:21,649
Well, thank you
For coming.
141
00:06:21,649 --> 00:06:24,217
I want you all to
Take a look at this
In the newspaper.
142
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:25,886
It got me
Going here.
143
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,988
"Grown man
Lives in refrigerator."
144
00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:31,258
No, no.
Not that part.
145
00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:32,860
Let me see that.
146
00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:34,528
Oh, my god.
Look at that.
147
00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:36,630
He's got a tv
In there. Ha ha!
148
00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:40,133
Sam, what is this about?
149
00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:42,169
Oh. Yeah. All right.
150
00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:43,637
Uh...Yeah.
151
00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:45,673
Column three.
Down at the bottom.
152
00:06:45,673 --> 00:06:49,510
"Don talbot's locker room
Grand opening."
153
00:06:49,510 --> 00:06:52,179
Yeah. Not only
That, don has got
Two other pubs
154
00:06:52,179 --> 00:06:53,547
Opening
The same time.
155
00:06:53,547 --> 00:06:55,649
He's doing fantastic
Business here.
156
00:06:55,649 --> 00:06:57,284
What's this
Got to do with
157
00:06:57,284 --> 00:06:59,152
The guy in the
Refrigerator?
158
00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:01,989
Nothing, woody. Nothing.
159
00:07:01,989 --> 00:07:04,825
This has to do with me.
This has to do with my life.
160
00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:06,594
I mean, don was up
With the red sox
161
00:07:06,594 --> 00:07:08,428
For a cup of coffee,
For goodness' sake.
162
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:11,131
I was there five years,
And now this clown
Is a celebrity,
163
00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:15,002
And I'm paying my employees
To come talk to me.
164
00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:18,972
Carla: you're gonna
Be paying us a lot more
165
00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:21,975
Unless this conversation
Starts getting exciting.
166
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:24,444
Fair enough.
I brought you in here
167
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,346
Because I want
To ask you a question.
168
00:07:26,346 --> 00:07:28,549
What is cheers missing?
169
00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:30,117
A mechanical bull.
170
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,822
Woody, that was
One of those
Questions you ask
171
00:07:34,822 --> 00:07:36,824
When you
Don't really
Want an answer.
172
00:07:36,824 --> 00:07:38,726
Oh, you mean rhetorical.
173
00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:43,764
Yeah, rhetorical.
Right.
174
00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:45,999
Anyway, what I'm
Going to do here
175
00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:49,236
Is I am gonna
Come out from
Behind the bar.
176
00:07:49,236 --> 00:07:50,771
I am gonna become
177
00:07:50,771 --> 00:07:54,808
A full-time
Manager/host.
178
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,076
A what?
179
00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:58,612
Manager/host.
180
00:07:58,612 --> 00:08:01,181
I'll greet people.
It's perfect.
181
00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:02,415
I mean,
Let's face it.
182
00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:04,184
I'm recognized
On the street.
183
00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:06,053
So is a fire hydrant.
184
00:08:07,521 --> 00:08:08,856
At the same time,
185
00:08:08,856 --> 00:08:10,624
I'll be able to hustle
Up some more business.
186
00:08:10,624 --> 00:08:12,660
I'll be able to handle
The publicity,
187
00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:15,829
The quality control,
Handling bookings.
188
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,364
I mean, it's great.
189
00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:18,866
What do you think?
190
00:08:18,866 --> 00:08:21,869
Is that another
Rhetorical question?
191
00:08:21,869 --> 00:08:24,605
Well, yeah,
It is, woody,
Actually,
192
00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:25,773
Because we're
Gonna do it.
193
00:08:25,773 --> 00:08:27,274
We're gonna start
Immediately.
194
00:08:27,274 --> 00:08:29,677
Does that mean you won't
Be bartending anymore?
195
00:08:29,677 --> 00:08:30,978
I'm glad you asked that.
196
00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:33,146
Now that I've moved up
To management,
197
00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:35,148
We're gonna have an
Opening behind the bar,
198
00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:37,150
And we're gonna need
To fill it.
199
00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:39,152
Wait a minute.
There was a guy in
Here the other day.
200
00:08:39,152 --> 00:08:40,888
He had an application
That was fantastic.
201
00:08:40,888 --> 00:08:43,290
Hey, hey, now, wait.
Time out. Time out, sammy.
202
00:08:43,290 --> 00:08:46,359
Does this mean that you're
Going to be hiring another
Full-time bartender?
203
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:47,695
Yeah.
204
00:08:47,695 --> 00:08:50,230
I have to advise you
I think that's unwise.
205
00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:51,799
You sure?
206
00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:53,500
I'd stake
My career on it.
207
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:55,869
You're unemployed.
208
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:58,505
All right. I'll stake
Your career on it.
209
00:08:58,505 --> 00:09:00,540
You really can't
Afford yourself
210
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,109
As a full-time
Host/manager.
211
00:09:02,109 --> 00:09:03,744
No, see, that's
The beauty of it.
212
00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:05,813
As manager, I'll be
Thinking up new schemes
213
00:09:05,813 --> 00:09:07,214
To bring in
More business,
214
00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:09,016
But I'll be so darn
Charming as the host
215
00:09:09,016 --> 00:09:11,084
That people will
Start bringing in
More friends.
216
00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:13,453
It's perfect.
I'll be thinking
And charming
217
00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:14,822
All at the same time.
218
00:09:14,822 --> 00:09:18,692
Add chewing gum,
And we can sell tickets.
219
00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:21,294
Sammy, I'm skeptical,
220
00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:24,632
But more importantly,
I'm thirsty, so...
221
00:09:24,632 --> 00:09:26,166
Go ahead.
Yeah.
222
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:33,674
Ken, don't forget
223
00:09:33,674 --> 00:09:35,676
To run a handkerchief
Over those shoes.
224
00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:37,010
Mr. Malone,
They're tennis shoes.
225
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:39,680
Don't spend too long
On them, then.
226
00:09:41,148 --> 00:09:43,016
What's with
The spread, sam?
227
00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:45,252
Well, I really topped
Myself tonight.
228
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:46,987
I booked a party in here.
229
00:09:46,987 --> 00:09:49,923
The fraternal order
Of the caribou
230
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,692
Is sending a group over.
231
00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:55,729
Great. A group
Of loud-mouthed,
232
00:09:55,729 --> 00:09:58,598
Rowdy conventioneers
Drinking like fish,
233
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,167
Swearing
Like sailors,
234
00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:02,602
And putting
Their paws
All over us.
235
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:05,072
Yeah.
Happy birthday to me!
236
00:10:07,374 --> 00:10:08,742
How many are coming?
237
00:10:08,742 --> 00:10:10,577
I don't know. They said
They were sending over
238
00:10:10,577 --> 00:10:13,580
A whole herd, so I guess
We're gonna be swamped here.
239
00:10:13,580 --> 00:10:15,448
I just hope
We have enough food.
240
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:16,817
What do you think? Yeah?
241
00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:18,385
Yeah. It'll be
All right.
242
00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:20,387
Ah! Welcome.
243
00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:21,588
I'm sam malone,
244
00:10:21,588 --> 00:10:22,890
Your host
And owner of cheers.
245
00:10:22,890 --> 00:10:25,458
You may remember me
As mayday malone,
246
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:26,994
The relief pitcher
For the red sox?
247
00:10:26,994 --> 00:10:28,729
Anyway, I just
Want you to know
248
00:10:28,729 --> 00:10:29,830
That the autographs
Are free,
249
00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:31,598
But the drinks are
Gonna cost you.
250
00:10:31,598 --> 00:10:33,300
Make him
Go away, neil.
251
00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:37,771
Well, uh, welcome.
252
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:41,875
Carla, couple of
Tables over here you
May want to get to.
253
00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:43,376
Gee, wait on tables.
254
00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:45,713
Is that what a waitress
Is supposed to do?
255
00:10:45,713 --> 00:10:47,080
Thanks for the tip, sam.
256
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:49,282
Diane, we need a mop
Over here, please.
257
00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:53,520
I'll buy the bullets
If you'll pull the trigger.
258
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:55,355
Shooting is
Too quick.
259
00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:56,990
I want him
To suffer.
260
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,292
Why don't you
Date him again?
261
00:11:01,428 --> 00:11:02,830
Get it in gear, girls.
262
00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:05,365
We got new customers
Coming in.
263
00:11:05,365 --> 00:11:07,868
Not if you
Greet them.
264
00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:09,436
What, what? What?
265
00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:12,840
Sam, this isn't working.
266
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,308
We've done this for a week,
And I haven't seen
267
00:11:15,308 --> 00:11:18,779
Any more customers
Than there were before
You took over as host.
268
00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:20,513
In fact,
There are less,
269
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:24,684
And you haven't come up
With one good idea
To increase business.
270
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:25,986
Tonight's different.
271
00:11:25,986 --> 00:11:27,654
I booked
A whole lodge
Into this place.
272
00:11:27,654 --> 00:11:30,590
I mean, tonight
We're making
Cheers history here.
273
00:11:30,590 --> 00:11:32,893
A little of the old
Malone magic
274
00:11:32,893 --> 00:11:34,327
Is beginning
To spread.
275
00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:37,731
I could use some
Of that in my flowers.
276
00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:39,066
Uh...
277
00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:44,738
Well, woody,
278
00:11:44,738 --> 00:11:47,007
Looks like the new
Man behind the bar
279
00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:48,842
Is working out
Pretty well, huh?
280
00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:50,778
Woody: oh, yeah,
He's doing well
281
00:11:50,778 --> 00:11:52,479
Considering the
Pressure he's under.
282
00:11:52,479 --> 00:11:55,382
I mean, after all,
Working around a man
Of my experience
283
00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:57,951
Is probably a little
Bit intimidating.
284
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:04,391
Oh, good, he seems
To be adjusting.
285
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:08,661
Excuse me. I'm looking
For sam malone.
286
00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:11,364
Yeah. Let go of me,
You little devil.
287
00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:13,600
Yes, I am. I'm...
288
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,702
I'm the
Manager here.
289
00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:17,137
Nice to meet you.
290
00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:18,271
Thank you.
291
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:20,273
Fred anderson,
Social director,
Caribou lodge.
292
00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:21,208
Yeah, right.
293
00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:23,410
You ready
For us?
You bet I am.
294
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:24,978
Great, great.
295
00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:26,780
Come on in, guys.
296
00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:28,715
Looks clean.
297
00:12:28,715 --> 00:12:30,417
Gather around,
Employees, please.
298
00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:32,285
Now, next couple of hours
Is gonna be hell.
299
00:12:32,285 --> 00:12:33,987
You're gonna be running
Your little tushies off,
300
00:12:33,987 --> 00:12:36,323
But tonight when
You put your head
Down on the pillow,
301
00:12:36,323 --> 00:12:37,624
You're gonna know
It was worth it
302
00:12:37,624 --> 00:12:39,159
Because tonight
Is the night
303
00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:41,929
That we put cheers
On the map. Ok.
304
00:12:49,136 --> 00:12:51,972
You guys are
The whole lodge?
305
00:12:51,972 --> 00:12:55,575
Yeah. We just got
Our charter last week.
306
00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:57,677
You're right, sam.
307
00:12:57,677 --> 00:12:59,446
We just got on the map.
308
00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:03,383
Cheers. Population--
Three caribou,
One jackass.
309
00:13:15,062 --> 00:13:18,498
Aren't people
Like that sad?
310
00:13:18,498 --> 00:13:20,100
Huddled together,
311
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:22,235
Totally lacking confidence
312
00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:24,838
In their own
Individuality,
313
00:13:24,838 --> 00:13:26,907
And incapable of
An original thought.
314
00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:29,542
As dr. Bennett ludlow
Once said,
315
00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:33,947
"I'll speak no thought
But mine own."
316
00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:42,155
All right. I'll admit
That things haven't
317
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:44,157
Turned out exactly
The way I planned,
318
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:45,658
But it's gonna be ok.
319
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,194
They'll tell
Their friends,
320
00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:49,296
And their friends will
Tell their friends.
321
00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:50,931
Do you have
Anything else?
322
00:13:50,931 --> 00:13:53,000
I'm allergic
To shellfish.
323
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,335
Sammy,
I'd face reality
If I were you.
324
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,304
You have three guys
In bad suits
325
00:13:57,304 --> 00:14:00,640
And enough food to
Cater the crusades.
326
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:04,611
Next to this,
Hula night was
A smashing success.
327
00:14:04,611 --> 00:14:06,880
All right. It's ok.
I know things haven't
328
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:09,116
Gone exactly great
Up to this point,
329
00:14:09,116 --> 00:14:10,817
But they will,
They will.
330
00:14:10,817 --> 00:14:12,385
I'll think
Of something.
331
00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:14,587
Skimpy outfits
On the waitresses.
332
00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:15,989
That's not bad.
333
00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:18,025
Wait a minute. I don't
Want people having
334
00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:20,727
To look at something
I'm ashamed of.
335
00:14:20,727 --> 00:14:22,262
Your got a lovely body.
336
00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:25,065
I'm talking about hers.
337
00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:27,901
See, sammy,
Topless waitresses,
338
00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:29,402
It's a
Scientific fact
339
00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:31,038
They can deliver
Drinks faster
340
00:14:31,038 --> 00:14:33,040
Than their clothed
Counterparts.
341
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:36,043
Just forget it, clavin.
This is just your slimy way
342
00:14:36,043 --> 00:14:38,311
Of trying to cop a look
At my tooters.
343
00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:45,418
Well, everything
Seems to be running
Smoothly out here.
344
00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:47,387
I think I'll step
In my office
345
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,456
And think up some
More ideas here.
346
00:14:49,456 --> 00:14:51,824
I don't want
To be disturbed.
347
00:14:51,824 --> 00:14:53,994
Go away, diane.
348
00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:58,265
Sam, may I speak to you
For a minute?
349
00:14:58,265 --> 00:15:02,135
This situation
Isn't working.
350
00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:05,138
Your schemes aren't working.
351
00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:08,275
You're driving carla
And me crazy,
352
00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:11,878
And if you continue
This entrepreneurial
Bent of yours,
353
00:15:11,878 --> 00:15:13,813
You're going
To bankrupt the bar.
354
00:15:13,813 --> 00:15:16,683
Don't worry about it.
I'll think of something.
355
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:18,185
I don't know what.
356
00:15:18,185 --> 00:15:20,253
You don't have my brain.
357
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:23,523
Well, whoever has it
Should return it.
358
00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:28,461
You need it right now.
359
00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:30,497
Hey, hey! Leave me
Alone, please.
360
00:15:30,497 --> 00:15:33,433
Sam, I'm sorry.
It's just obvious what
Has to happen here.
361
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:35,335
You have to go back
Behind the bar.
362
00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:38,171
I know, I know.
I've known it
For a long time.
363
00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:40,073
Why aren't you doing
Anything about it?
364
00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:42,209
Well, because doing
Something about it
365
00:15:42,209 --> 00:15:44,477
Means I have to
Fire ken.
366
00:15:44,477 --> 00:15:49,949
Oh. Right. And he's
Such a nice guy, too.
367
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,119
Yeah. Damn it.
368
00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:54,121
All right.
I've put this off
Long enough.
369
00:15:54,121 --> 00:15:56,589
Go get ken.
I'll handle this
Right now,
370
00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:59,492
And I'll do it
Quickly, cleanly,
And painlessly,
371
00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:00,593
Just like a surgeon.
372
00:16:00,593 --> 00:16:02,262
That's it. Just
Like a surgeon.
373
00:16:02,262 --> 00:16:04,097
Very well. Very well.
374
00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:07,934
He's headed this way.
375
00:16:07,934 --> 00:16:09,236
All right, all right.
376
00:16:09,236 --> 00:16:12,172
I suggest you start
Scrubbing up, dr. Malone.
377
00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:13,906
Sam, you got a minute?
378
00:16:13,906 --> 00:16:15,142
Yeah, ken.
379
00:16:15,142 --> 00:16:17,277
I'd like you
To meet my family.
380
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:23,616
I just want you
To know that it was
381
00:16:23,616 --> 00:16:26,853
Pretty rough going
There for a while for
For the four of us.
382
00:16:26,853 --> 00:16:28,621
The five of us.
383
00:16:28,621 --> 00:16:32,092
But thanks to you,
We've turned the corner.
384
00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:34,627
Kids, this is
Mr. Sam malone.
385
00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:35,828
Hi.
Hi.
386
00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:38,831
Hi. Well, yeah...
387
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:41,568
Well, this
Is very nice, ken,
388
00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:45,205
But, uh, I do need
To talk to you.
389
00:16:45,205 --> 00:16:47,307
Oh. Yeah. Well...
390
00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:49,376
All right.
Here you go.
391
00:16:52,079 --> 00:16:53,446
Yes, mr. Malone?
392
00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:56,783
Ken...
393
00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:01,554
I'm giving you a raise.
394
00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:04,957
That's terrific!
395
00:17:04,957 --> 00:17:06,659
Well, thank you.
396
00:17:06,659 --> 00:17:07,960
Thank you, mr. Malone.
397
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:10,497
Come on, honey.
I want to introduce you
To the others.
398
00:17:10,497 --> 00:17:12,632
Nice to meet you.
Yeah, you, too.
399
00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:13,500
Come on, children.
400
00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:17,437
We want to stay
With uncle sam.
401
00:17:17,437 --> 00:17:18,671
Is that
All right, sam?
402
00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:19,806
Sure, sure.
403
00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:26,012
Well, quite an operation,
Dr. Malone.
404
00:17:26,012 --> 00:17:27,914
What am I gonna do?
405
00:17:27,914 --> 00:17:30,417
I can't fire woody.
406
00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:34,721
Well, maybe if he
Knew the situation,
407
00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:36,523
He'd want to go.
408
00:17:36,523 --> 00:17:38,591
Why don't you just
Explain it to him
409
00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:40,627
And let him draw
His own conclusion?
410
00:17:40,627 --> 00:17:43,330
Maybe he'll
Volunteer to leave.
411
00:17:43,330 --> 00:17:46,466
He's such a sweet guy.
I'll bet he will.
412
00:17:46,466 --> 00:17:49,736
Oh, boy.
He is a sweet guy.
413
00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:51,671
Of course he will.
414
00:17:53,340 --> 00:17:55,442
Sam, you look
Quite natural
415
00:17:55,442 --> 00:17:58,478
Sitting there with
A babe on each knee.
416
00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:01,781
Ah, she's seen babes
On my lap before.
417
00:18:03,616 --> 00:18:07,220
Yes, but these know how
To tie their own shoes.
418
00:18:09,055 --> 00:18:11,358
Good-bye, you sweet
Little cherubs.
419
00:18:11,358 --> 00:18:13,626
I don't
Like her.
420
00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:15,662
Mmm.
421
00:18:15,662 --> 00:18:17,864
Try dating her.
422
00:18:19,966 --> 00:18:21,968
Sam, you wanted
To see me?
423
00:18:21,968 --> 00:18:23,636
Yes, I do, woody.
424
00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:26,839
Say, you know ken's two
Kids here, don't you?
425
00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:28,641
Yeah. I met them
Before. Hi.
426
00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:29,942
Hi.
Hi.
427
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:31,444
Sit down, woody.
428
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:35,782
I called you in
Here because I got
A kind of problem.
429
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,617
Well, I hope I can help.
430
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:39,952
Well, I hope so,
Too, woody.
431
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:42,189
You know,
That scheme of mine
432
00:18:42,189 --> 00:18:44,191
To come out
From behind the bar
433
00:18:44,191 --> 00:18:46,393
And be
A host/manager
434
00:18:46,393 --> 00:18:48,361
Hasn't turned out
Too well.
435
00:18:48,361 --> 00:18:50,129
Well, that's putting it mildly.
436
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:53,233
But if it means I'm gonna
Get you back behind the bar,
437
00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:54,767
Then I can't say I'm sorry.
438
00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:56,903
It does mean that
You're getting me
439
00:18:56,903 --> 00:18:58,538
Back behind
The bar, woody.
440
00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:00,640
Uh...But the
Problem is...
441
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:04,577
I can't afford
Three bartenders.
442
00:19:06,579 --> 00:19:09,048
You did meet
Ken's kids here,
Haven't you?
443
00:19:09,048 --> 00:19:10,116
Yeah, I did. Hi.
444
00:19:10,116 --> 00:19:11,618
Hi.
Hi.
445
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:15,688
So what it boils
Down to, woody, is,
446
00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:18,491
I'm gonna have to
Let somebody go.
447
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:21,093
Boy, that's tough, sam.
448
00:19:21,093 --> 00:19:23,430
Yeah. Uh...
449
00:19:23,430 --> 00:19:25,097
You kids are getting
Awful heavy here.
450
00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:28,368
Why don't you sit
On old uncle woody's
Lap there, huh?
451
00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:29,969
There you go.
452
00:19:29,969 --> 00:19:31,404
Hey, there we go.
453
00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:32,739
Ok, now, woody.
454
00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:35,708
Try to follow me
Closely on this, ok?
455
00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:38,345
See, I can't fire
Myself because...
456
00:19:38,345 --> 00:19:40,146
Well, I own
The place.
457
00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:41,381
Well, that makes sense.
458
00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:44,116
Yeah.
So that means...
459
00:19:44,116 --> 00:19:48,455
Either you or ken,
460
00:19:48,455 --> 00:19:50,823
The father
Of these two kids.
461
00:19:50,823 --> 00:19:54,994
You...You get what
I'm saying, woody?
462
00:19:54,994 --> 00:19:56,863
No.
463
00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:57,964
I do! I do!
464
00:19:57,964 --> 00:19:59,866
No, no, no.
465
00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:01,568
Listen,
Maybe, uh...
466
00:20:01,568 --> 00:20:04,170
Maybe you kids
Ought to go now.
467
00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:05,338
Thank you.
468
00:20:05,338 --> 00:20:07,474
Bye-bye, sweetheart.
Bye-bye.
469
00:20:12,279 --> 00:20:14,414
You're firing me, sam.
470
00:20:16,916 --> 00:20:21,421
Woody, I...
I don't know what
To say here, man.
471
00:20:23,089 --> 00:20:25,124
Leave cheers.
472
00:20:25,124 --> 00:20:27,660
You know,
I always thought
473
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:31,364
This job was just too good
To keep forever. I...
474
00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:34,567
Well, I understand.
475
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:36,636
You know, I'm young
And unattached,
476
00:20:36,636 --> 00:20:40,307
And I can afford to be
Out of work more than ken.
477
00:20:40,307 --> 00:20:44,010
Come here. You are the
Sweetest guy I know.
478
00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:45,978
You are too, sam.
479
00:20:45,978 --> 00:20:49,181
What are we doing
Here? This doesn't have
To be a big good-bye.
480
00:20:49,181 --> 00:20:51,050
I'll help you
Find another job,
481
00:20:51,050 --> 00:20:54,086
And if ken ever leaves,
You'll be first in line.
482
00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:56,255
I appreciate that.
483
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:57,757
Woody, uh...
484
00:20:57,757 --> 00:21:00,226
I know what you're
Going to say, sam.
485
00:21:00,226 --> 00:21:02,662
Really? I don't.
486
00:21:02,662 --> 00:21:04,664
Well, it would've
Been great.
487
00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:07,767
I'll see you, sam.
I'm gonna get my things.
488
00:21:08,835 --> 00:21:10,603
Oh, boy.
489
00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:13,606
Oh...
490
00:21:15,708 --> 00:21:18,411
Sam, this has got
To be the strangest
Night of my life.
491
00:21:18,411 --> 00:21:20,580
Yeah. Must be something
In the air.
492
00:21:20,580 --> 00:21:22,715
I don't even know how
To bring this up, but...
493
00:21:22,715 --> 00:21:25,352
There was a guy
Sitting at the bar
494
00:21:25,352 --> 00:21:27,286
Said he was from
The harvard club.
495
00:21:27,286 --> 00:21:29,356
Here's his card.
496
00:21:29,356 --> 00:21:32,158
Anyway, he said he liked
The cut of my jib,
497
00:21:32,158 --> 00:21:34,927
And he asked me if I want
To go and work for him.
498
00:21:34,927 --> 00:21:37,764
The money he's offering
Would be hard to turn down.
499
00:21:37,764 --> 00:21:39,766
Woody!
500
00:21:39,766 --> 00:21:42,569
And I swear to uphold
The bylaws of the lodge
501
00:21:42,569 --> 00:21:46,373
And to defend
The dignity of the herd.
502
00:21:46,373 --> 00:21:48,741
Woody, woody, woody!
Wait, wait, wait, man!
503
00:21:48,741 --> 00:21:51,210
Wait. There's somebody
In the bar here,
504
00:21:51,210 --> 00:21:53,480
Somebody from
The harvard club who
Wants to hire ken,
505
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:54,947
So you don't
Have to leave.
506
00:21:54,947 --> 00:21:57,750
I mean, just get back
Behind the bar, man.
507
00:21:57,750 --> 00:21:59,185
Oh, god!
508
00:21:59,185 --> 00:22:00,953
What a relief! Oh!
509
00:22:02,221 --> 00:22:04,691
Wait a minute, sam.
510
00:22:04,691 --> 00:22:05,658
What?
511
00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:08,628
What do you think I am?
512
00:22:09,862 --> 00:22:13,366
I got fired from a job
That means more to me
513
00:22:13,366 --> 00:22:15,034
Than anything else
In the world,
514
00:22:15,034 --> 00:22:17,269
And you want me to just
Come walking back in here
515
00:22:17,269 --> 00:22:19,972
Because ken wants to leave?
516
00:22:19,972 --> 00:22:22,174
Well, I can't do that.
517
00:22:22,174 --> 00:22:24,744
Listen, I need you.
518
00:22:24,744 --> 00:22:29,382
Please. Isn't there
Anything I can do
To change your mind?
519
00:22:31,484 --> 00:22:33,152
$100 a month raise.
520
00:22:33,152 --> 00:22:34,153
$100!
521
00:22:34,153 --> 00:22:35,287
Fine.
522
00:22:35,287 --> 00:22:36,956
No! No!
Woody, wait.
523
00:22:36,956 --> 00:22:39,025
I need you.
524
00:22:39,025 --> 00:22:41,461
Yeah, ok.
Ok, 100 bucks.
525
00:22:41,461 --> 00:22:43,195
It's a deal.
526
00:22:43,195 --> 00:22:45,432
Yeah.
All right.
527
00:22:46,599 --> 00:22:51,003
Boy. Yeah...You know,
You really surprised me.
528
00:22:51,003 --> 00:22:53,640
You're a pretty
Tough negotiator.
529
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:55,775
Ah, yeah, sam.
I know you think
530
00:22:55,775 --> 00:22:57,744
I'm just
A country bumpkin.
531
00:22:57,744 --> 00:23:01,581
And the boyd family
May not be too sharp
About a lot of things.
532
00:23:01,581 --> 00:23:03,616
I mean, we don't know
Much about math.
533
00:23:03,616 --> 00:23:05,652
We don't know much
About science.
534
00:23:05,652 --> 00:23:07,587
We don't know
Much about politics.
535
00:23:07,587 --> 00:23:09,622
We don't know much
About medicine.
536
00:23:09,622 --> 00:23:11,023
We don't know much
About world affairs,
537
00:23:11,023 --> 00:23:12,725
But I'll tell you,
There's something
538
00:23:12,725 --> 00:23:14,594
We're pretty darn
Sharp about.
539
00:23:14,594 --> 00:23:15,928
What's that?
540
00:23:17,396 --> 00:23:19,499
What were we
Talking about?
541
00:23:21,501 --> 00:23:23,402
Machinery.
542
00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:25,738
Oh, we don't know much
About machinery.
543
00:23:25,738 --> 00:23:27,740
I tell you, my uncle,
He lost his arm
544
00:23:27,740 --> 00:23:29,275
In some kind
Of contraption.
545
00:23:29,275 --> 00:23:30,910
Oh, you're
Kidding me.
546
00:23:30,910 --> 00:23:32,311
Wait a minute.
547
00:23:32,311 --> 00:23:33,513
What, what?
548
00:23:33,513 --> 00:23:35,515
I remember. We were
Talking about money.
549
00:23:35,515 --> 00:23:37,784
Ha! That's right.
That's right.
550
00:23:37,784 --> 00:23:41,621
We were talking
About your $50
A month raise.
551
00:23:43,155 --> 00:23:45,792
Sam, it was 100 a month.
552
00:23:48,595 --> 00:23:51,263
Hey, but, you know,
I'll tell you.
553
00:23:51,263 --> 00:23:54,567
I think 100 a month
Is too steep.
554
00:23:54,567 --> 00:23:57,103
I'll settle
For 30 a week.
555
00:23:57,103 --> 00:23:58,437
You got it.
556
00:24:04,477 --> 00:24:08,180
Host/manager
Extraordinaire.
39403
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