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1
00:00:03,304 --> 00:00:06,107
Cheers is filmed before
A live studio audience.
2
00:00:07,108 --> 00:00:08,742
Oh, no.
3
00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:11,112
It's almost 5:00.
4
00:00:11,112 --> 00:00:12,580
What's the
Problem with
5:00, woody?
5
00:00:12,580 --> 00:00:15,116
Every day at 5:00,
This guy comes in
6
00:00:15,116 --> 00:00:17,151
And blabbers and blabbers
7
00:00:17,151 --> 00:00:18,886
And talks my ear off.
8
00:00:18,886 --> 00:00:20,788
I don't know
What to do.
9
00:00:20,788 --> 00:00:22,190
Why don't you do
What I do?
10
00:00:22,190 --> 00:00:24,858
Tell him to shut
His fat, ugly mouth.
11
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:27,695
Oh, no.
It's not mr. Clavin.
12
00:00:27,695 --> 00:00:29,263
Woody. Woody.
13
00:00:29,263 --> 00:00:31,532
Calm yourself.
There's no need for concern.
14
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:34,435
I'm sure
He's just a lonely man
15
00:00:34,435 --> 00:00:37,438
Who wandered in here one day
And found a sympathetic ear.
16
00:00:37,438 --> 00:00:41,442
Unfortunately,
Indulging him will only
Aggravate the problem.
17
00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:43,077
You see, people
In this situation
18
00:00:43,077 --> 00:00:45,146
Have a tendency
To prattle on endlessly,
19
00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:47,215
Totally unaware of how
Others are receiving
20
00:00:47,215 --> 00:00:50,384
This unwanted and
Innocuous information.
21
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:53,221
The next time a neurotic
Personality such as this
22
00:00:53,221 --> 00:00:55,223
Gets off on one
Of these jags,
23
00:00:55,223 --> 00:00:57,491
Just turn your back
And walk away,
24
00:00:57,491 --> 00:01:00,694
Because, you see,
The important thing is...
25
00:01:03,697 --> 00:01:05,599
Just a second. I was--
26
00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:08,136
Oh, you merry band!
27
00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:15,776
* making your way
In the world today *
28
00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:18,879
* takes everything
You've got *
29
00:01:18,879 --> 00:01:21,915
* taking a break
From all your worries *
30
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:25,153
* sure would help a lot *
31
00:01:25,153 --> 00:01:28,289
* wouldn't you like
To get away? *
32
00:01:30,991 --> 00:01:33,261
* sometimes
You wanna go *
33
00:01:33,261 --> 00:01:38,399
* where everybody
Knows your name *
34
00:01:38,399 --> 00:01:43,070
* and they're always
Glad you came *
35
00:01:43,070 --> 00:01:45,506
* you wanna be
Where you can see *
36
00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:48,008
* our troubles
Are all the same *
37
00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:52,446
* you wanna be where
Everybody knows your name *
38
00:01:53,514 --> 00:01:56,116
* you wanna go
Where people know *
39
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,519
* people are all the same *
40
00:01:58,519 --> 00:02:03,224
* you wanna go where
Everybody knows your name *
41
00:02:21,108 --> 00:02:22,476
Diane here yet?
42
00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:26,214
No, no. Miss tardy slip
Is late again.
43
00:02:26,214 --> 00:02:28,148
She probably stopped
Somewhere to think up
44
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:31,919
Another lame-o
Excuse for being late
In the first place.
45
00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:33,454
I'm sorry I'm late.
46
00:02:33,454 --> 00:02:35,088
I was taking a nap,
47
00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:37,325
And I forgot
To set my alarm.
48
00:02:37,325 --> 00:02:40,093
My down comforter
Felt so toasty.
49
00:02:40,093 --> 00:02:41,729
Well, you know me.
50
00:02:41,729 --> 00:02:44,298
I'm something
Of a slumber cat.
51
00:02:46,066 --> 00:02:47,100
Oh...
52
00:02:47,100 --> 00:02:49,169
Uh, jack dalton called.
53
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,239
Oh, my god!
54
00:02:51,239 --> 00:02:53,341
Jack dalton?
55
00:02:53,341 --> 00:02:55,576
I haven't heard that name
For months.
56
00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:57,445
Jack dalton.
57
00:02:57,445 --> 00:02:59,447
Who is he?
Nobody.
58
00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:03,884
Mr. Nobody just landed
His private jet at hyannis port
59
00:03:03,884 --> 00:03:05,986
And is coming over
To see you right now.
60
00:03:05,986 --> 00:03:08,522
You never mentioned
This guy to me. How come?
61
00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:10,458
Well, there's
Not much to say.
62
00:03:10,458 --> 00:03:12,860
He's a man I dated
A bit in europe.
63
00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:15,329
Was that before or after
You dumped dr. Crane
64
00:03:15,329 --> 00:03:18,065
And sent him into
An alcoholic tailspin?
65
00:03:18,065 --> 00:03:21,201
Um...After.
66
00:03:22,403 --> 00:03:24,972
How long after?
67
00:03:24,972 --> 00:03:26,740
Days.
68
00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:31,111
I met jack at the running
Of the bulls in pamplona.
69
00:03:31,111 --> 00:03:32,913
Isn't that
Just like a woman?
70
00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:35,249
While I wept bitterly
Into the adriatic,
71
00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:38,919
She was busy dodging bovine
In sunny spain.
72
00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:40,721
Frasier,
I was upset.
73
00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:42,290
I would've done
Anything.
74
00:03:42,290 --> 00:03:44,492
I wasn't running
To jack.
75
00:03:44,492 --> 00:03:46,660
I was running
Away from you.
76
00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:50,631
Well, I feel better now.
77
00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:52,300
As fortune
Would have it,
78
00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:54,302
Jack came into my
Life at that point,
79
00:03:54,302 --> 00:03:57,971
And his love of danger
Intoxicated me.
80
00:03:57,971 --> 00:04:02,009
If he said, "Let's try
The luge run at saint moritz,"
81
00:04:02,009 --> 00:04:04,144
I said, "Why not?"
82
00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:07,180
I guess for a brief
While, I was...
83
00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:08,582
Danger's mistress.
84
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:11,885
Is there anyone whose
Mistress you weren't?
85
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:18,359
Put a cork in it, frasier.
86
00:04:18,359 --> 00:04:21,094
Jack is from
A period in my life
87
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:23,764
That I would rather
Put behind me.
88
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:26,400
I'm more mature now,
More centered.
89
00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:29,837
Sam.
90
00:04:29,837 --> 00:04:31,339
I'm going to hide
In the back.
91
00:04:31,339 --> 00:04:34,408
When jack comes,
Just tell him I'm dead.
92
00:04:36,377 --> 00:04:38,312
Chambers!
93
00:04:38,312 --> 00:04:39,880
Jack.
94
00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:42,282
Diane's dead.
95
00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:45,419
Ah, ha ha!
96
00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:48,656
Still light
As a bird, huh?
97
00:04:48,656 --> 00:04:50,223
Oh, jack!
98
00:04:50,223 --> 00:04:52,660
Listen, I want you
To meet everybody.
99
00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:54,495
This is
Carla tortelli.
100
00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:57,365
Tortelli! Raghhh!
101
00:04:57,365 --> 00:05:00,534
Easy, hercules.
I just had chili.
102
00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:06,073
I'm woody boyd.
103
00:05:06,073 --> 00:05:09,309
Boyd! Raghhh!
Ha ha ha!
104
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:12,212
I, uh...
I'm cliff clavin.
105
00:05:12,212 --> 00:05:14,314
Clavin! Ruff ruff
Ruff ruff ruff!
106
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,984
Da da da da da da da boom.
107
00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:23,023
Norm peterson.
108
00:05:25,359 --> 00:05:27,395
Norm.
109
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,498
I got a whistle
To wet.
110
00:05:30,498 --> 00:05:32,666
Hey, uh, barkeep,
111
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:35,869
How'd you like to
Arm-wrestle me for a beer?
112
00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:36,804
Woody!
All right!
113
00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:39,039
All righty, but I
Have to warn you.
114
00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:42,009
I was arm wrestling
Champion of posie county.
115
00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:43,544
Hey, fair enough.
116
00:05:43,544 --> 00:05:44,845
Norm:
All right!
117
00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:45,879
1...
118
00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:47,748
2...3.
119
00:05:49,216 --> 00:05:53,621
Ladies and gents,
The new champ
Of posie county.
120
00:05:53,621 --> 00:05:57,858
All right, who's next?
121
00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:00,994
You look like you could
Give me a run for my money.
122
00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:03,030
I think I'll take
A rain check.
123
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:05,633
Come on, man. Just for
The sport of it.
124
00:06:05,633 --> 00:06:07,735
Jack, I'll buy you
The beer.
125
00:06:07,735 --> 00:06:10,003
You don't have to beat
Everybody in the bar.
126
00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:11,071
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
127
00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:13,807
What makes you think
I'm gonna lose?
128
00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:15,308
Sam malone here.
I'm the owner of the bar,
129
00:06:15,308 --> 00:06:17,845
And I've yet to lose
A beer in it.
130
00:06:17,845 --> 00:06:20,814
Well, there's
A first time
For everything.
131
00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:23,651
1...
132
00:06:23,651 --> 00:06:24,918
2...
133
00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:26,954
3.
134
00:06:28,489 --> 00:06:31,659
So, how long are you
In town for?
135
00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:36,263
Just for the day.
I'm on my way
136
00:06:36,263 --> 00:06:38,065
To the air races
In reno.
137
00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:41,301
Reno? Yeah, that's lovely
This time of year.
138
00:06:41,301 --> 00:06:45,038
Beautiful...Yah!
139
00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:46,039
Ah!
140
00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:49,510
Ha! Well, I guess
I owe you a beer here.
141
00:06:49,510 --> 00:06:50,978
Yeah. Diane...
142
00:06:50,978 --> 00:06:52,913
How the hell are you?
143
00:06:54,381 --> 00:06:55,949
I'm fine.
144
00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:57,050
I'm fine.
145
00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:58,452
My god,
You look pale.
146
00:06:58,452 --> 00:06:59,953
You folks should
Have seen her
147
00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:02,089
Frolicking in
The surf at mykonos.
148
00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:05,092
Her little bottom
Was as brown
As a berry.
149
00:07:08,729 --> 00:07:11,965
The stick running
Around buck naked?
150
00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:13,767
It was a
Semiprivate
Beach.
151
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:16,904
Used to be
A semiprivate bottom.
152
00:07:21,208 --> 00:07:23,944
So, jack,
What's been happening
With you lately?
153
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:27,380
Oh, nothing much. I spent
Most of last year in tibet,
154
00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:29,783
Centering my consciousness
With secrets
155
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:31,519
From the book of the dead.
156
00:07:31,519 --> 00:07:33,320
Fun place, tibet.
157
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:35,122
I studied under
This buddhist monk
158
00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:38,458
Who had such a pixie-ish
Sense of humor.
159
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,628
I remember this one
Particular morning.
160
00:07:40,628 --> 00:07:43,764
We were clad
In goatskin.
161
00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:47,535
The sun
Was just coming
Over the himalayas.
162
00:07:47,535 --> 00:07:49,670
At that moment,
I took my first trip
163
00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:52,673
Out of my body
To nirvana.
164
00:07:52,673 --> 00:07:56,343
You know, a trip
Like that could
Well be deductible.
165
00:07:56,343 --> 00:07:58,378
Well, see,
I'm a cpa...
166
00:07:58,378 --> 00:08:00,180
Unemployed cpa.
167
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:01,448
Ah.
168
00:08:01,448 --> 00:08:03,851
Kind of a funny,
Unemployed cpa.
169
00:08:08,121 --> 00:08:10,624
Mr. Dalton, you've had
So many bizarre
170
00:08:10,624 --> 00:08:12,626
And terrifying experiences.
171
00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:15,028
Some people say that
I have a death wish.
172
00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:18,165
Far from it. I have
A life wish.
173
00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:20,233
Oh, so does normie.
174
00:08:20,233 --> 00:08:21,234
What?
What? What?
175
00:08:21,234 --> 00:08:22,736
He wishes
He had one.
176
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,473
Hey, chambers.
177
00:08:26,473 --> 00:08:28,441
Come on.
Tell us all about you.
178
00:08:28,441 --> 00:08:31,044
Now, the last time
I saw you,
179
00:08:31,044 --> 00:08:34,514
You turned down my offer
To travel around the world
180
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:37,618
Because you had a secret
Love back in boston.
181
00:08:37,618 --> 00:08:39,119
A baseball player,
Wasn't it?
182
00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:41,589
Yes. Mickey mantle.
It didn't work out.
183
00:08:43,290 --> 00:08:46,459
I always say the best
Remedy for unrequited love
184
00:08:46,459 --> 00:08:49,697
Is a trip around
The world on a raft.
185
00:08:49,697 --> 00:08:51,131
Sound tempting?
186
00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:54,534
Jack...
187
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:57,871
I feel
Kind of settled now.
188
00:08:57,871 --> 00:09:00,107
I'll admit that when you
Knew me in europe,
189
00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:02,610
It was important for me
To test myself that way,
190
00:09:02,610 --> 00:09:05,813
And I was rather
Fearless, but...
191
00:09:05,813 --> 00:09:08,481
But that was the nadir
Of my existence.
192
00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:10,083
My life now is
Complete and happy,
193
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:12,285
And I'm scared
Of my shadow.
194
00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:13,654
Whoo! Ha ha.
195
00:09:13,654 --> 00:09:17,490
Well, the least you can do
Is give me this evening.
196
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:20,060
Come on! Take a spin
In my new plane.
197
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,895
I'll show you
What that baby can do.
198
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:24,932
What kind of aircraft
You got up there, dalton?
199
00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:26,867
Messerschmitt?
Fokker?
200
00:09:26,867 --> 00:09:28,802
No, it's a bobcat
201
00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:32,572
With a couple
Of pratt-whitney
Jt15 d1a engines.
202
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:35,242
2,200 pounds
Of thrust apiece.
203
00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:37,010
Hey, good little birdie.
204
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:37,845
Ow!
205
00:09:37,845 --> 00:09:39,913
Come on, diane.
Let's go.
206
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,749
Jack.
207
00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:45,118
Thank you
For your kind
Invitation, but...
208
00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:46,987
Sam couldn't
Possibly let me go
209
00:09:46,987 --> 00:09:48,789
At the beginning
Of my shift.
210
00:09:48,789 --> 00:09:50,457
Hey, it's kind of
Slow tonight.
211
00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:53,093
Why don't you go?
212
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,763
May I speak with you
A moment, sam?
213
00:09:58,732 --> 00:10:02,569
I'd really rather not
Go flying tonight.
214
00:10:02,569 --> 00:10:04,705
What?
215
00:10:04,705 --> 00:10:08,341
Sam, please,
Tell him I have
To work tonight
216
00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:11,244
And I
Couldn't possibly
Accompany him.
217
00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:13,781
I have a better idea.
Why don't you do it?
218
00:10:13,781 --> 00:10:16,684
You were
His berry-bottom baby.
219
00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:22,222
Maybe you're right.
220
00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:24,157
It's up to me.
221
00:10:25,558 --> 00:10:27,160
Oh, jack.
222
00:10:28,762 --> 00:10:30,764
I think
It would be better
223
00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:33,200
If I didn't go out
With you tonight.
224
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:36,269
No, no, no.
Say it ain't so.
225
00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:39,740
The crazy,
Impulsive diane
I knew in europe
226
00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:42,542
Has turned into
Miss nine to five,
227
00:10:42,542 --> 00:10:45,979
Play it safe,
Dare I eat a peach?
228
00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:49,883
What a shame.
229
00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:52,552
So long, diane.
230
00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:54,521
Well, you don't
Have to be angry.
231
00:10:54,521 --> 00:10:56,223
I'm not angry.
232
00:10:56,223 --> 00:10:58,325
I'm just sad
At what's lost.
233
00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:02,963
The army of dullness has
Recruited another soul.
234
00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:12,605
Well, a little spin
Doesn't sound so bad.
235
00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:14,407
It's a very clear night.
236
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:15,776
Hey, hey!
237
00:11:15,776 --> 00:11:18,678
Does the woman
Ever say no?
238
00:11:21,314 --> 00:11:23,216
Only to you.
239
00:11:24,752 --> 00:11:26,686
Jack,
Just one thing.
240
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,956
Would you mind if
Sam accompanies us?
241
00:11:28,956 --> 00:11:30,791
Wait. How'd I get
Onboard this thing?
242
00:11:30,791 --> 00:11:32,926
May I speak
With you again?
243
00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,962
What do
You want?
244
00:11:34,962 --> 00:11:38,866
Sam, it would mean
A great deal to me
245
00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:41,134
If you came along
For protection.
246
00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:43,570
He's not
The kind of man
247
00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:46,206
I trust myself
To be alone with.
248
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:48,842
Oh, yeah.
Like me, you mean.
249
00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:51,011
Then you
Do understand.
250
00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:53,113
Sam: ok. All right.
251
00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:54,381
Uh...
252
00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:55,648
Jack.
253
00:11:55,648 --> 00:11:57,417
I guess I'm coming along.
254
00:11:57,417 --> 00:11:59,219
Hey, the more,
The merrier.
255
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:00,053
Malone!
256
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,654
Uh, don't do that.
257
00:12:01,654 --> 00:12:03,123
Shall we go?
258
00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:05,425
Cliff: hey, dalton,
A spin up in that
259
00:12:05,425 --> 00:12:07,427
Little birdie
Of yours sure
Sounds inviting.
260
00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:09,629
Yeah. They'll tell you
All about it.
261
00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:11,331
I guess they will.
262
00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:26,113
Hmm...This is truly lovely.
263
00:12:26,113 --> 00:12:29,983
The moon and stars
Our only companions
264
00:12:29,983 --> 00:12:33,653
As we gently brush aside
The billowing clouds.
265
00:12:33,653 --> 00:12:36,089
Diane, take
The controls.
266
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:37,690
What? What'd you say?
267
00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:39,860
Me? I know nothing
About flying.
268
00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:42,029
Just put both hands
On this, like this.
269
00:12:42,029 --> 00:12:44,031
That's right.
That a girl.
270
00:12:44,031 --> 00:12:46,733
I heard something
Rattling around
In back there.
271
00:12:46,733 --> 00:12:48,101
I got to
Go secure it.
272
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:50,703
Come on, sam.
Why don't you sit
Up there?
273
00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:52,039
That's it.
274
00:12:52,039 --> 00:12:53,773
Come on.
The view's great.
275
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:57,177
Ok. Now just fly her
Steady as she goes.
276
00:12:57,177 --> 00:12:58,645
Don't touch
Any controls.
277
00:12:58,645 --> 00:12:59,947
Don't touch anything.
278
00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:02,349
You're headed in the
Right direction.
279
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:17,530
Hi, diane.
280
00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:18,866
Uh-huh.
281
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,269
Hey, jack!
282
00:13:22,269 --> 00:13:24,371
What do you call
This steering wheel
Thing here?
283
00:13:24,371 --> 00:13:27,040
Jack: it's called
A steering wheel.
284
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:29,843
No, I'm just kidding.
It's called a yoke.
285
00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:31,879
Bad yoke.
Ha ha ha!
286
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:36,516
This is so frightening.
287
00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:37,951
And yet exhilarating.
288
00:13:37,951 --> 00:13:40,020
Mm-hmm. It's ok,
It's ok.
289
00:13:41,288 --> 00:13:44,357
I think we're getting the
Hang of this, sam.
290
00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:46,659
Yeah, yeah.
291
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:48,461
Feeling pretty
Powerful, huh?
292
00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:51,831
I have to admit,
I kind of feel
Like I...
293
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,833
Own the sky.
294
00:13:56,369 --> 00:13:58,771
Jack is really
Something, isn't he?
295
00:13:58,771 --> 00:14:00,307
Are you kidding?
296
00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:03,310
I could do all
That macho stuff
If I wanted to,
297
00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:06,546
But it wouldn't
Make me any more
Of a man.
298
00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:13,286
Do I detect a hint
Of raised consciousness?
299
00:14:13,286 --> 00:14:16,223
A real guy
Doesn't have
To jump on sharks
300
00:14:16,223 --> 00:14:18,291
And dodge
Poison darts
301
00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:20,093
Just to prove
He's a guy.
302
00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:21,929
I'm astonished.
303
00:14:21,929 --> 00:14:23,863
A real guy
Just has to
304
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:27,100
Score heavy with the
Babes, that's all.
305
00:14:31,238 --> 00:14:32,739
Hey, jack!
306
00:14:32,739 --> 00:14:34,541
Jack, you know,
I have to admit,
307
00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:37,744
You're right--
This is kind of fun.
308
00:14:37,744 --> 00:14:39,446
Jack?
309
00:14:39,446 --> 00:14:40,580
Yo, jack.
310
00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:42,916
Well, he couldn't
Have gone too far...
311
00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:44,651
Unless he bailed out.
312
00:14:44,651 --> 00:14:45,652
Ha ha!
Ha ha!
313
00:14:45,652 --> 00:14:46,653
Jack.
Jack?
314
00:15:09,009 --> 00:15:11,078
Sam, he's dead.
315
00:15:11,078 --> 00:15:12,379
What do you mean,
Dead?
316
00:15:12,379 --> 00:15:15,382
I mean dead, dead.
He hasn't got a pulse!
317
00:15:15,382 --> 00:15:16,916
Oh, come on.
I can't believe
318
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,618
A guy like that is
Ever going to die.
319
00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:20,353
Yeah? Well, trust me.
320
00:15:23,656 --> 00:15:25,525
Like hell I will.
321
00:15:30,797 --> 00:15:34,301
We're going to crash.
We're going to die.
322
00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:36,869
They'll check out
Our dental records
323
00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:39,239
To identify our remains,
324
00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:41,674
And I haven't been
To dr. Oberding
325
00:15:41,674 --> 00:15:45,045
For as much as a polish
In over six months.
326
00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:47,547
He's dead.
327
00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:49,516
I know dead!
328
00:15:49,516 --> 00:15:51,818
Ok. All right.
329
00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:53,353
But we're not
Dead yet.
330
00:15:53,353 --> 00:15:54,187
Mm-hmm.
331
00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:55,288
No, no, no, no.
332
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,090
All right. I saw
This movie once,
333
00:15:57,090 --> 00:15:59,059
Where this perfectly
Ordinary lady
334
00:15:59,059 --> 00:16:00,660
Had to land
This airliner.
335
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:03,096
All we got
To do now is make
Radio contact
336
00:16:03,096 --> 00:16:04,597
With some guy
On the ground,
337
00:16:04,597 --> 00:16:07,634
And he'll
Talk us down onto
The runway thing.
338
00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:09,869
What do you remember?
What do you remember?
339
00:16:09,869 --> 00:16:11,204
I remember
Thinking that,
340
00:16:11,204 --> 00:16:13,640
"These people
Are in trouble."
341
00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:18,445
Sam, we're going to die!
342
00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:20,313
Hey, do you
Mind, please?
343
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,714
I'm in complete
Control here,
Diane.
344
00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:24,684
Just got to find
The damn radio,
That's all.
345
00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:26,753
How do you know
Which one is the radio?
346
00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:27,820
I don't.
347
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,189
Will you stop
348
00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:31,024
Indiscriminately
Pushing buttons!
349
00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:33,760
Oh, my god.
350
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:35,528
I don't want to die!
351
00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:37,930
You know,
You're not making
This any easier.
352
00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:39,432
Just--just relax,
Will you?
353
00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:41,000
We're still flying,
Aren't we?
354
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,870
We're still going
In a basically
Straight line here.
355
00:16:43,870 --> 00:16:45,672
And we got
Plenty of fuel,
356
00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:48,875
According to
The full gauge
Thing there.
357
00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:51,211
That's a clock.
358
00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:53,780
Oh. Well, all right.
359
00:16:53,780 --> 00:16:54,881
Uh...It's early.
360
00:16:54,881 --> 00:16:57,217
We still got
A lot of time
361
00:16:57,217 --> 00:16:59,786
To sort this
Whole thing out.
362
00:16:59,786 --> 00:17:01,221
Damn!
363
00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:04,291
You're right.
You're right.
364
00:17:04,291 --> 00:17:05,825
We're still alive.
365
00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:08,027
Maybe somebody will
Pick us up on their radar
366
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:10,029
Or something
And talk us down,
367
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:12,865
And everything
Will be wonderful.
368
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:14,134
[beeping]
369
00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:15,235
Oh, sam!
What did you do?
370
00:17:15,235 --> 00:17:16,569
I don't know.
371
00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:18,004
Well, don't do it again!
We're sinking!
372
00:17:18,004 --> 00:17:20,006
Don't be silly.
Ships sink. Planes...
373
00:17:20,006 --> 00:17:21,441
Uh...
374
00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:23,009
All right. I'm going
To pull back
375
00:17:23,009 --> 00:17:24,177
On this thing here,
Right here.
376
00:17:24,177 --> 00:17:26,079
Ok, here I go.
All right?
377
00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:27,447
Oh, this is good.
378
00:17:27,447 --> 00:17:29,082
All right, all
Right. Yeah, yeah.
379
00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:30,917
This is good.
Absolutely wonderful.
380
00:17:30,917 --> 00:17:32,385
Ok. All right.
381
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,421
Now we're back
To normal here.
382
00:17:34,421 --> 00:17:37,324
Just got to
Keep looking for
This damn radio.
383
00:17:37,324 --> 00:17:41,994
Please, please,
Please, please, please.
384
00:17:41,994 --> 00:17:43,396
Aah!
385
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,632
Will you stop that!
People don't fly well
386
00:17:45,632 --> 00:17:47,934
When people are
Screaming in their ears!
387
00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:50,670
I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
388
00:17:56,643 --> 00:17:59,746
Oh, god!
Please, please!
Oh, god, please!
389
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:01,214
Oh, god.
390
00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:03,550
Oh...Oh...
391
00:18:04,617 --> 00:18:06,219
Sam, I think
We're going down.
392
00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:07,620
Yeah, I think so, too.
393
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:11,124
Oh, god.
I can't believe this.
394
00:18:11,124 --> 00:18:12,659
All right,
All right, all right.
395
00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:15,295
Let's have
A little dignity here
396
00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:17,364
And try to be calm, huh?
397
00:18:17,364 --> 00:18:18,798
How do we do that?
398
00:18:18,798 --> 00:18:22,569
I don't know.
Talk about something.
399
00:18:22,569 --> 00:18:23,470
Like what?
400
00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:24,871
Anything.
Talk about anything.
401
00:18:24,871 --> 00:18:26,873
Talk about
All the good things
402
00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:29,142
That have
Happened to us, huh?
403
00:18:29,142 --> 00:18:31,110
Good things?
404
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:34,113
How about all the
Things that are never
Going to happen?
405
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,782
I'm never going to
Get married.
406
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:38,251
I'm never going to
Have a baby.
407
00:18:38,251 --> 00:18:39,652
I'm never going to
Get old.
408
00:18:39,652 --> 00:18:42,589
I don't even
Have a gray hair.
409
00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:44,757
Sure, you do.
Right there.
410
00:18:44,757 --> 00:18:46,159
I do? Where?
411
00:18:46,159 --> 00:18:47,894
Aah!
Oh, please!
412
00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:49,128
Sam, hold me!
413
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,997
Oh, god!
414
00:18:50,997 --> 00:18:52,699
Oh!
415
00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:55,202
It would have been
Us one of these
Days, wouldn't it?
416
00:18:55,202 --> 00:18:57,270
You and me married.
417
00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:00,873
Yeah, yeah.
418
00:19:00,873 --> 00:19:02,709
Yes.
419
00:19:02,709 --> 00:19:05,077
Sam's and
Diane's wedding.
420
00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:06,779
Oh, yeah! Ha!
421
00:19:07,914 --> 00:19:09,249
Oh, god.
422
00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:12,252
Why didn't I ask you
When I had the chance?
423
00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:14,587
Why did I
Go to europe?
424
00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:15,488
No...
425
00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:17,023
At least
We're going together.
426
00:19:17,023 --> 00:19:18,024
Yeah.
427
00:19:18,024 --> 00:19:19,058
I love it!
428
00:19:19,058 --> 00:19:20,260
Aah!
429
00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:22,662
Ha ha ha ha!
430
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:27,099
Jack! What the hell
Are you doing alive?
431
00:19:27,099 --> 00:19:28,901
Dalton, fly
The damn plane.
432
00:19:28,901 --> 00:19:31,504
It's a little trick
I learned in tibet.
433
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:34,907
I slowed my metabolism down
To a heartbeat a minute.
434
00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:36,709
Why the hell
Did you do that!
435
00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:38,211
Fly the damn plane,
Will you, man!
436
00:19:38,211 --> 00:19:39,712
It's about to crash!
437
00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:42,649
We're not going to crash.
We're at 20,000 feet.
438
00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:43,950
Big deal, jack!
439
00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:45,252
Hey, relax, folks.
440
00:19:45,252 --> 00:19:48,020
You were on
Autopilot the
Whole time.
441
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,822
Well, you were
When I left.
442
00:19:49,822 --> 00:19:53,460
Who's been
Screwing around with
The controls here?
443
00:19:53,460 --> 00:19:57,230
Hey, that was the rottenest,
Stupidest, sleaziest thing
444
00:19:57,230 --> 00:19:58,831
Anyone's ever done.
445
00:19:58,831 --> 00:20:02,201
Chambers, I saw
Comfortable and safe
And domestic
446
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,570
Written all over
Your face tonight,
447
00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:05,137
And I couldn't
Stand it.
448
00:20:05,137 --> 00:20:07,073
You needed this.
You too, malone.
449
00:20:07,073 --> 00:20:08,675
You needed to step
To the brink.
450
00:20:08,675 --> 00:20:10,910
You needed into the
Gaping maw of death
451
00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:12,445
And live
To tell about it.
452
00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:14,714
I'm going to stick my fist
In your gaping maw.
453
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:17,317
No, you won't.
You'll live
To thank me.
454
00:20:17,317 --> 00:20:19,386
From this
Day forward,
You're reborn.
455
00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:21,721
Everything in
Your life is going
To be better.
456
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:22,622
You're crazy.
457
00:20:22,622 --> 00:20:24,156
Food is going to
Taste better.
458
00:20:24,156 --> 00:20:25,258
I don't care.
459
00:20:25,258 --> 00:20:27,059
Flowers are going
To smell better.
460
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:28,227
You're nuts!
461
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:30,597
Sex is going to
Feel better.
462
00:20:36,269 --> 00:20:38,271
Well, I never
Want to see you again
463
00:20:38,271 --> 00:20:39,806
As long as I live.
464
00:20:39,806 --> 00:20:42,309
You're a big, dangerous
Baby, jack dalton,
465
00:20:42,309 --> 00:20:44,311
And regressing
At a rapid pace.
466
00:20:44,311 --> 00:20:45,512
Ha ha ha!
467
00:20:45,512 --> 00:20:46,713
You know something?
468
00:20:46,713 --> 00:20:48,281
I feel like
Punching your lights out.
469
00:20:48,281 --> 00:20:51,484
Sam, he's the only
One who knows how to
Land the plane.
470
00:20:51,484 --> 00:20:52,919
That's right. Ok.
All right.
471
00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:56,589
But when we get on the ground,
You are dog meat.
472
00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:58,625
Uh-huh.
Ha ha ha!
473
00:21:02,729 --> 00:21:06,165
Sam, you never did
Tell us how you got
That shiner.
474
00:21:06,165 --> 00:21:08,167
We hit
Some turbulence there,
475
00:21:08,167 --> 00:21:12,605
And I, uh, knocked myself into
The altigyroscope thing.
476
00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:14,674
Oh, boy. When are
They ever going
477
00:21:14,674 --> 00:21:16,843
To recess those
Things, huh?
478
00:21:19,512 --> 00:21:22,649
Is that gismo there
In the shape of a fist?
479
00:21:22,649 --> 00:21:26,118
All right. So dalton caught
Me with a sucker punch.
480
00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:27,820
But you should see him.
481
00:21:27,820 --> 00:21:29,288
We got even.
482
00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:32,124
We told the faa
On him.
483
00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:33,960
So, what did you
Guys talk about
484
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:37,063
When you thought
You were going to die?
485
00:21:39,265 --> 00:21:41,568
Oh, I don't know.
Uh...
486
00:21:41,568 --> 00:21:44,070
You remember
Anything, diane?
487
00:21:45,738 --> 00:21:46,973
Not a word.
488
00:21:46,973 --> 00:21:50,577
There were a lot
Of frightening
Things going on.
489
00:21:51,578 --> 00:21:53,680
Well, I'm
Kind of tired.
490
00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:55,748
I'll get
Ready to go.
491
00:21:58,485 --> 00:22:01,454
You know, normie,
All this talk of danger
492
00:22:01,454 --> 00:22:02,855
Has inspired me
To go out
493
00:22:02,855 --> 00:22:05,291
And do something
Really crazy, huh?
494
00:22:05,291 --> 00:22:08,327
What do you say
You and me go out
495
00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:10,797
And ring some doorbells
And run away, huh?
496
00:22:10,797 --> 00:22:11,931
Yeah, yeah!
497
00:22:13,466 --> 00:22:15,468
Mind if I get going, sam?
498
00:22:15,468 --> 00:22:17,904
In 10 minutes, my sitter
Is going on overtime,
499
00:22:17,904 --> 00:22:20,740
And my kids ain't
Worth a buck an hour.
500
00:22:20,740 --> 00:22:21,674
Go, go.
501
00:22:21,674 --> 00:22:23,743
Thanks.
You're a pal.
502
00:22:23,743 --> 00:22:24,611
Uh...
503
00:22:24,611 --> 00:22:27,079
Hey, sam,
I want you to know,
504
00:22:27,079 --> 00:22:29,716
If I'm ever in
A life-or-death situation
505
00:22:29,716 --> 00:22:31,117
And things look hopeless,
506
00:22:31,117 --> 00:22:33,453
Like there's no way
Of getting out alive,
507
00:22:33,453 --> 00:22:35,855
I want you there with me.
508
00:22:37,790 --> 00:22:39,559
Thanks, buddy.
509
00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:42,962
Whoa, wait. Don't leave
Me here with...
510
00:22:44,296 --> 00:22:46,733
Where did everybody go?
511
00:22:46,733 --> 00:22:49,769
Oh, uh...
Home, I guess.
512
00:22:53,773 --> 00:22:55,975
Well, I guess
I'll do the same.
513
00:22:55,975 --> 00:22:57,410
Sam: yeah.
514
00:22:57,410 --> 00:22:59,579
Quite a night,
Right, sam?
515
00:22:59,579 --> 00:23:01,948
Yeah, quite a night.
516
00:23:03,416 --> 00:23:05,017
Good night.
517
00:23:05,017 --> 00:23:06,152
Yeah.
518
00:23:07,554 --> 00:23:10,056
Look, sam...
519
00:23:12,459 --> 00:23:16,429
Some things
Were said between us
520
00:23:16,429 --> 00:23:18,465
That have never
Been said before,
521
00:23:18,465 --> 00:23:22,234
And they were said because
We were facing death.
522
00:23:22,234 --> 00:23:25,605
And now that
The crisis is over,
523
00:23:25,605 --> 00:23:29,642
I think we
Should set aside
Some of those things
524
00:23:29,642 --> 00:23:32,612
For when we can
Better deal with them.
525
00:23:32,612 --> 00:23:34,614
What I'm
Trying to say is
526
00:23:34,614 --> 00:23:37,617
That I think we should,
For the time being,
527
00:23:37,617 --> 00:23:41,153
Forget what was said
On that plane.
528
00:23:42,388 --> 00:23:45,124
Hey, what plane, huh?
529
00:23:45,124 --> 00:23:46,493
The plane where you said
530
00:23:46,493 --> 00:23:49,596
Your deepest desire
Was to marry me.
531
00:24:00,540 --> 00:24:03,442
Oh, yeah. That plane. Ha.
36481
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