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1
00:00:03,937 --> 00:00:06,107
Cheers is filmed before
A live studio audience.
2
00:00:06,107 --> 00:00:07,275
Good evening,
3
00:00:07,275 --> 00:00:10,978
You lucky dogs
And dogettes.
4
00:00:10,978 --> 00:00:13,981
Inside this
Airtight container
5
00:00:13,981 --> 00:00:15,849
Is a taste
Sensation
Second to none.
6
00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:17,385
Get your
Taste buds ready.
7
00:00:17,385 --> 00:00:19,187
Ma's homemade pretzels.
8
00:00:22,956 --> 00:00:24,792
They kind of
Look like
They were made
9
00:00:24,792 --> 00:00:26,294
In a home,
Cliff.
10
00:00:26,294 --> 00:00:28,429
Well, they're
A little misshapen.
11
00:00:28,429 --> 00:00:31,265
Ma has arthritis.
Her hands stiffen up on here.
12
00:00:31,265 --> 00:00:33,101
That explains
The smell
13
00:00:33,101 --> 00:00:35,803
Of mentholatum,
Then.
14
00:00:35,803 --> 00:00:37,238
Here you go, sam.
15
00:00:37,238 --> 00:00:40,074
Chow down. They're
Completely organic.
16
00:00:40,074 --> 00:00:42,910
So, what word
Would you folks use
17
00:00:42,910 --> 00:00:44,645
To describe
These babies?
18
00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:45,646
Filling.
19
00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:47,248
Ok, all right,
They're filling.
20
00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:50,318
No,
I just lost one.
21
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:55,022
Eh, you know, norm,
They're pretzels.
22
00:00:55,022 --> 00:00:56,824
They're supposed
To be hard.
23
00:00:56,824 --> 00:01:00,161
Hey, look, I'm gonna
Go share a few with
The guys in the back.
24
00:01:00,161 --> 00:01:02,563
A little bit
Of salt and mustard
On there,
25
00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:06,134
And you really
Got something.
26
00:01:06,134 --> 00:01:08,136
Yeah, a lawsuit.
27
00:01:10,171 --> 00:01:11,372
I need some water.
28
00:01:11,372 --> 00:01:13,874
I'm having trouble
Swallowing.
29
00:01:13,874 --> 00:01:15,543
Why are you trying?
30
00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:16,810
Well, I figure
It's either that
31
00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:18,045
Or I have to
Take it out
And look at it.
32
00:01:18,045 --> 00:01:19,213
Oh, jeez...
33
00:01:24,185 --> 00:01:26,354
* makin' your way
In the world today *
34
00:01:26,354 --> 00:01:29,523
* takes everything
You've got *
35
00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:32,193
* takin' a break
From all your worries *
36
00:01:32,193 --> 00:01:34,262
* sure would
Help a lot *
37
00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:38,699
* wouldn't you like
To get away *
38
00:01:41,302 --> 00:01:43,437
* sometimes
You wanna go *
39
00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:47,107
* where everybody
Knows your name *
40
00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:52,180
* and they're always
Glad you came *
41
00:01:53,414 --> 00:01:56,049
* you wanna be
Where you can see *
42
00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:58,452
* our troubles
Are all the same *
43
00:01:58,452 --> 00:01:59,687
* you wanna be *
44
00:01:59,687 --> 00:02:02,490
* where everybody
Knows your name *
45
00:02:03,824 --> 00:02:06,327
* you wanna go
Where people know *
46
00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:09,129
* people are
All the same *
47
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:10,431
* you wanna go *
48
00:02:10,431 --> 00:02:13,401
* where everybody
Knows your name *
49
00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:35,489
Everybody, I'd like
You to meet my date,
Dr. Lilith sternin,
50
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:39,993
M.D., ph.D.,
E.D.D., a.P.A.
51
00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:44,198
Boy, it sure isn't
Spelled like it sounds.
52
00:02:50,371 --> 00:02:52,072
I'm so proud
Of frasier.
53
00:02:52,072 --> 00:02:54,942
He's making good on his vow
To start a new life.
54
00:02:54,942 --> 00:02:59,179
Lilith and I met over drinks
After the chemical
Dependency seminar.
55
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:01,048
By the way,
I noticed
Your drinking
56
00:03:01,048 --> 00:03:03,584
Went beyond
Sociability.
57
00:03:03,584 --> 00:03:06,086
Woody,
I'll have two cognacs.
58
00:03:06,086 --> 00:03:08,389
What would you like?
59
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:12,326
Come on, it was just
A meaningless joke.
60
00:03:12,326 --> 00:03:14,695
There's no
Such thing as a
Meaningless joke.
61
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,230
I'd forgotten.
62
00:03:16,230 --> 00:03:17,498
I'll have
A white wine.
63
00:03:17,498 --> 00:03:18,866
I'll have a beer.
64
00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:20,200
A beer, woody,
65
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,237
And white wine
For the charming lady.
66
00:03:23,237 --> 00:03:24,672
Charming?
67
00:03:24,672 --> 00:03:26,874
Your flattery's
Obligatory
And specious.
68
00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:28,776
Thank you.
69
00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:34,348
So how do you
Like cheers?
70
00:03:34,348 --> 00:03:39,086
Well,
It seems adequate
For its purpose,
71
00:03:39,086 --> 00:03:42,556
But I have a feeling
That you only brought me
To this place
72
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:46,960
To surround yourself
With people you know
And I don't.
73
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,962
Well, yes.
74
00:03:50,698 --> 00:03:52,900
But what's more, I thought
That we might have a drink
Or 2,
75
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:54,868
Thereby lowering
Our inhibitions a bit
76
00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:57,538
And enabling us
To go back to your place
77
00:03:57,538 --> 00:03:59,940
And have a physical
Encounter of some sort.
78
00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:01,509
Well, we won't.
79
00:04:01,509 --> 00:04:03,477
I appreciate
Your candor.
80
00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:05,779
No, you don't.
81
00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:06,714
You're right.
82
00:04:06,714 --> 00:04:08,982
I feel like
Striking you.
83
00:04:10,518 --> 00:04:13,220
Your attempt
At machismo is
Totally inadequate.
84
00:04:13,220 --> 00:04:15,856
You can't even
Make eye contact.
85
00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:19,192
I could look at you
If I wanted to,
86
00:04:19,192 --> 00:04:25,299
But frankly I've grown tired
Of counting the comb marks
In your hair.
87
00:04:25,299 --> 00:04:26,867
Now, if you'll excuse me,
88
00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:29,570
I'm going to go and use
The little boys' room.
89
00:04:29,570 --> 00:04:33,674
Why does a grown man
Feel the need to euphemize?
90
00:04:33,674 --> 00:04:37,044
Well, he did drink
That beer
Awfully fast.
91
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,382
[beep beep]
92
00:04:41,382 --> 00:04:44,785
Oh, that's the hospital.
I'm on call.
93
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:47,220
With any luck, it'll be
One of my manic-depressives
94
00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:49,823
And the evening
Will take an upturn.
95
00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:53,093
Boy, you got
To love her,
Don't you?
96
00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:54,795
Excuse me, miss.
97
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:56,630
Would you please
Inform dr. Crane
98
00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:58,499
That I had to leave
On an emergency?
99
00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:00,668
And kindly relay
This message--
100
00:05:00,668 --> 00:05:02,836
I've had
A very uncomfortable
Evening,
101
00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:05,072
I don't think we
Should see each
Other in the future
102
00:05:05,072 --> 00:05:07,240
Except
Professionally.
103
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:10,210
What, no good night kiss?
104
00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:13,747
I kiss only as a
Prelude to passion.
105
00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:17,818
Well,
We've been warned.
106
00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:22,890
Oh, dear.
107
00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:26,560
It appears frasier
Has been rejected again.
108
00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:27,995
That poor yutz.
109
00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:31,399
Even the trash
Only gets dumped
Once a week.
110
00:05:34,301 --> 00:05:35,803
Where's lilith?
111
00:05:35,803 --> 00:05:38,906
Dr. Sternin
She was called away
On an emergency.
112
00:05:38,906 --> 00:05:40,340
Well, that's
All right anyway.
113
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,009
I didn't much care
For lilith.
114
00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:45,078
Sam, do you mind if
I just use your
Office for a moment?
115
00:05:45,078 --> 00:05:47,180
Sure, sure. How come?
116
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,483
I'm going to weep.
117
00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:55,088
Poor frasier. I wish
He could find someone
To ease his loneliness.
118
00:05:55,088 --> 00:05:58,992
Sam, couldn't you
Give him one of your
Hand-me-downs?
119
00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:01,995
I already did.
120
00:06:01,995 --> 00:06:06,133
No, I was thinking
Of someone who would
Be, like, fun.
121
00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:07,868
Well, now that you
Mention it,
122
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:12,806
I guess I could prescribe
A little candi pearson
For dr. Crane.
123
00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:14,808
Ooh!
Candi.
I like candi.
124
00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:19,046
I sincerely doubt that
Frasier would approve
Of being set up
125
00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:19,980
For a one-night stand
126
00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:24,017
With one of your
Jiggling jugheads.
127
00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:26,887
I'm not talking
About sex,
Necessarily.
128
00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:28,722
I just think that
Frasier should know
129
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:32,025
That women
Don't always
Mean misery.
130
00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:34,928
I think candi is
Just what the doctor
Prescribed.
131
00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:36,697
She's cute,
She's fun,
132
00:06:36,697 --> 00:06:38,499
And she's never
Met a man she didn't
Like--
133
00:06:38,499 --> 00:06:40,834
A lot. Ha ha!
134
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,807
Hi, sam.
135
00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:48,476
Hey, candi! Boy, is
It good to see you.
136
00:06:48,476 --> 00:06:50,711
You are as beautiful
As ever.
137
00:06:50,711 --> 00:06:51,979
Sam, I'm getting low.
138
00:06:51,979 --> 00:06:54,948
I'm also running
Out of beer.
139
00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:57,951
Well, maybe I can
Help you out
On both counts here.
140
00:06:57,951 --> 00:07:01,188
I'd like you
To meet candi.
141
00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:02,556
Hi.
142
00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:04,492
Hi yourself.
143
00:07:04,492 --> 00:07:06,259
Anyone ever tell you
144
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,696
You've got
A cute forehead?
145
00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:12,600
Frankly, no,
146
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,968
But I've been told
I have acute anxiety.
147
00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:19,640
What's your name?
148
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:21,408
Dr. Frasier crane.
149
00:07:21,408 --> 00:07:22,876
I'm candi.
150
00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:26,046
Yes, so I see from your
Necklace--with an "I."
151
00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:28,616
Well, I used to
Spell it with a "Y,"
152
00:07:28,616 --> 00:07:30,951
But nobody ever
Took me seriously,
153
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:35,756
So then I switched it
To an "I," you know,
Like gandhi.
154
00:07:37,725 --> 00:07:42,262
Yes, I understand
That's why
He did it.
155
00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:44,231
Could I
Buy you a drink?
156
00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:46,233
Oh, sure, um...
157
00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:48,301
Something with bubbles.
158
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:51,705
Very well.
Sam, um...
159
00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:55,175
Champagne cocktails
A deux.
160
00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:58,411
Well, it looks like
You and candi are
Becoming friends.
161
00:07:58,411 --> 00:08:00,614
Well, she seems like
A very pleasant.
162
00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:02,750
Sam, she's not here
For you, is she?
163
00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:06,186
No, no. Looks to me like
She's here for you, frasier.
164
00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:07,788
Well, yes, it does.
165
00:08:07,788 --> 00:08:10,824
You're lucky, doc.
Sam's never bothered set me up
166
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:13,293
With one of his
Bevy of babes,
167
00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:15,062
Not that I need help.
168
00:08:15,062 --> 00:08:17,698
No, just mercy.
169
00:08:17,698 --> 00:08:20,067
Oh, I see.
This is all a setup.
170
00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:22,469
Well, I've seen
That movie before.
171
00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:23,971
When all else fails,
172
00:08:23,971 --> 00:08:26,940
Hire some strumpet
To date the town wretch.
173
00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:29,610
Hey, this is not a setup.
She's not a strumpet.
174
00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:32,512
She's just here because
I thought you might
Like each other.
175
00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:34,582
No expectations,
No frills.
176
00:08:34,582 --> 00:08:36,750
Just a casual thing.
177
00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:39,219
Well, thanks, sam,
178
00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:41,922
But, uh...
No, thanks.
179
00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:43,223
Yeah, but...
180
00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:49,229
I see your little attempt
To corrupt frasier
181
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:52,465
Has failed miserably.
182
00:08:52,465 --> 00:08:56,536
I'm sorry, miss.
But I just figured out
What this is all about.
183
00:08:56,536 --> 00:09:01,809
I'm not in the habit of
Fraternizing with women
Of your type.
184
00:09:01,809 --> 00:09:04,645
What type is that?
185
00:09:04,645 --> 00:09:07,314
Well, you know,
Uh...Fun.
186
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:10,818
Good night.
187
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,822
I don't believe it.
188
00:09:14,822 --> 00:09:17,090
Frasier just
Turned down candi.
189
00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:20,293
If it was me,
I'd be making her
Scrambled eggs by now.
190
00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:24,397
I'm sure she'd
Prefer that to sex.
191
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:27,400
Why do you
Open your mouth?
192
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,637
Didn't know
She was there.
193
00:09:29,637 --> 00:09:31,772
We need to put
A little bell on her.
194
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:37,945
I don't know what
You think this is all about,
195
00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:41,048
But I just came because
Sam said you were a nice guy
196
00:09:41,048 --> 00:09:42,750
And you were
Down in the dumps
197
00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:45,786
And I thought maybe
We could talk a little bit
198
00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:48,421
And have a couple
Of laughs...
199
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,390
Fine.
We've had that.
200
00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:52,225
You've done your
Charity work
For the evening.
201
00:09:52,225 --> 00:09:56,930
Charity work?
You really are a sad case.
202
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,932
How a guy with
Such a great forehead
203
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:01,301
Could get so messed up.
204
00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:06,406
Wait. The least I
Can do is give you
A ride home.
205
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:07,574
I'm going
Your direction.
206
00:10:07,574 --> 00:10:09,176
Which direction?
207
00:10:09,176 --> 00:10:10,377
Out.
208
00:10:11,979 --> 00:10:15,783
Thank you, frasier.
You're sweet.
209
00:10:15,783 --> 00:10:17,050
Say, you know,
I just realized,
210
00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:18,585
I'm feeling kind
Of hungry.
211
00:10:18,585 --> 00:10:19,787
Would you like
To get some food?
212
00:10:19,787 --> 00:10:22,189
Oh, food--
My favorite.
213
00:10:25,659 --> 00:10:27,527
Good lord!
214
00:10:27,527 --> 00:10:29,529
Frasier left with her?
215
00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:32,332
Well, they have
Nothing in common.
216
00:10:32,332 --> 00:10:35,869
What could he
Possibly have to say
To that woman?
217
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:38,271
Thank you, thank you,
Thank you.
218
00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:45,713
Pretzels!
Fresh pretzels!
219
00:10:45,713 --> 00:10:47,647
Get your fresh pretzels
Here.
220
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:52,052
Delivered to you piping hot
From ma clavin's kitchen.
221
00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:54,121
Come on, norm,
You're his friend.
222
00:10:54,121 --> 00:10:56,289
You promised you'd tell him
To stop bringing that stuff
In here.
223
00:10:56,289 --> 00:10:57,758
All right, I'll
Take care of it
224
00:10:57,758 --> 00:11:01,061
While I still have
Some teeth left.
225
00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:02,763
Hey, uh,
Incidentally,
Normie,
226
00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:04,832
I don't mind
Telling you
227
00:11:04,832 --> 00:11:06,967
How much ma
Appreciates
The fact
228
00:11:06,967 --> 00:11:08,468
That you guys
Like her pretzels.
229
00:11:08,468 --> 00:11:09,970
Great, cliff.
Listen--
230
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:11,805
She's been down in
The dumps these past
40 years.
231
00:11:11,805 --> 00:11:14,107
When she heard
How you felt about
These babies,
232
00:11:14,107 --> 00:11:18,946
Well, she just
Broke right down
And cried.
233
00:11:20,748 --> 00:11:23,683
Oh, boy. Pretzels.
234
00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:28,121
Anyone seen frasier yet?
235
00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:30,323
Not since he left last night
With candi.
236
00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:33,493
I wonder what they did.
237
00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:37,097
I'm sure
They just went out
And had dinner.
238
00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:39,800
I'll bet they had
Some dinner, all right.
239
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:42,602
Yeah,
Real good dinner,
240
00:11:42,602 --> 00:11:45,505
Real fine
Restaurant, huh?
241
00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:47,941
Actually, the best.
242
00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:52,145
I wonder if
The restaurant was crowded.
243
00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:03,123
I clearly doubt that frasier
Took advantage of
That young woman.
244
00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:04,992
Come on. Diane,
Frasier's a guy,
245
00:12:04,992 --> 00:12:06,693
No different
From the rest of us.
246
00:12:06,693 --> 00:12:08,128
There's one
Difference.
247
00:12:08,128 --> 00:12:12,199
He scored since
The invention
Of the wheel.
248
00:12:12,199 --> 00:12:14,101
Doesn't have to be
A big bell,
249
00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:17,270
As long as
We can hear it.
250
00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:20,673
Trust me, he might
Have taken pity on
That poor girl
251
00:12:20,673 --> 00:12:23,643
And done something
To be nice to her.
252
00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:26,847
Frasier is far
Too sophisticated a man
253
00:12:26,847 --> 00:12:32,052
To be swept away by her
Transparent charm.
254
00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:33,854
Greetings,
One and all.
255
00:12:33,854 --> 00:12:37,357
Say hello to
Mrs. Frasier crane.
256
00:12:53,673 --> 00:12:55,342
You're married?
257
00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:58,278
No, we're not married,
And we won't be
For a long time.
258
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,047
An hour!
259
00:13:01,915 --> 00:13:03,984
We're gonna tie the knot
Right here today
260
00:13:03,984 --> 00:13:06,319
Where we met
Just 16 hours ago,
261
00:13:06,319 --> 00:13:09,056
That is it's ok
With you, sam.
Yeah.
262
00:13:09,056 --> 00:13:11,358
16 hours
Isn't much time.
263
00:13:11,358 --> 00:13:15,362
That depends on how you
Spend those 16 hours.
264
00:13:15,362 --> 00:13:17,397
Hey, woody, some
Champagne here.
265
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:20,267
I mean,
This is quite
An occasion.
266
00:13:20,267 --> 00:13:22,102
I mean, I know
I'm responsible
For them,
267
00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:23,336
But I didn't
Even see that
Coming.
268
00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:25,538
The thought never
Even crossed
My mind.
269
00:13:25,538 --> 00:13:29,576
Thoughts can't
Cross your mind, sam.
270
00:13:29,576 --> 00:13:33,146
The bridge is out.
271
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:35,949
Ok, well, I would
Like to propose
A toast, then.
272
00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:38,118
This is one that
My father said
At my wedding,
273
00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:40,087
And it's kind of
Always stuck
With me.
274
00:13:40,087 --> 00:13:43,623
Thank god I'm not
Paying for this.
275
00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:45,993
Thank you.
Thank you all.
276
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:51,331
Oops, spot!
277
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,302
Look at me.
278
00:13:55,302 --> 00:13:58,505
I'm rumpled
And loving it.
279
00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:01,141
Sam,
I'll never be able
To thank you enough
280
00:14:01,141 --> 00:14:03,110
For introducing me
To this precious flower.
281
00:14:03,110 --> 00:14:05,412
That goes double
For me.
282
00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:07,915
Candi is
The perfect girl for me.
283
00:14:07,915 --> 00:14:11,651
I got so tired
Of thinking and dating
284
00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:13,987
At the same time.
285
00:14:13,987 --> 00:14:15,555
But with candi,
286
00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:19,326
I'm no longer
Frasier crane,
Pompous intellectual.
287
00:14:19,326 --> 00:14:21,561
I'm fras,
Pompous madcap.
288
00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:23,130
And I kind of like him.
289
00:14:23,130 --> 00:14:24,264
Come on, darling,
290
00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:25,698
We'll just stop off
At my place
291
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,634
For a quick celebration.
292
00:14:27,634 --> 00:14:30,270
Then we've got a ring to
Buy before the justice
Of the peace arrives.
293
00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:32,005
Oh, fras.
294
00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:35,875
Just a moment, dear.
295
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:38,211
Um, what is it,
Diane?
296
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:40,447
I hate what I'm
About to say.
297
00:14:40,447 --> 00:14:42,115
I pray to god
It's not true.
298
00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:43,716
I think
You're doing this
299
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:46,186
To draw me out,
To force me
To make a stand.
300
00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:48,888
Please, tell me
If I'm wrong,
301
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,757
And I'll be
Forever silent.
302
00:14:50,757 --> 00:14:53,560
You're wrong.
No, I'm not.
303
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:56,496
Yes, you are, diane.
304
00:14:58,698 --> 00:14:59,732
Ok.
305
00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:01,668
Fine.
306
00:15:01,668 --> 00:15:04,604
He's lost his mind.
307
00:15:06,039 --> 00:15:08,141
Well, cliffie,
We got time for
A wedding
308
00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:09,676
On this evening's
Agenda?
309
00:15:09,676 --> 00:15:13,046
Well, if we put back
The billiard's game,
310
00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:14,881
And, well, we're gonna miss
The first 10 minutes
311
00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:16,483
Of "Nighttime
Wheel of fortune."
312
00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:18,718
I hate it when
Someone throws
A monkey wrench
313
00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:20,220
In the works.
314
00:15:20,220 --> 00:15:21,521
Don't worry, norm.
315
00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:23,190
Look, we'll just postpone
The darts game
316
00:15:23,190 --> 00:15:24,691
Until after the vows.
317
00:15:24,691 --> 00:15:26,726
Aren't you
Forgetting something,
Mr. Organizer?
318
00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:29,729
Today's the day
When "People"
Magazine comes out.
319
00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:30,930
Yeah. So?
320
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,399
So when are we
Supposed to
321
00:15:32,399 --> 00:15:34,467
Black out
Celebrity's teeth?
Tell me that.
322
00:15:41,841 --> 00:15:44,111
You know,
You're not so dumb.
323
00:15:44,111 --> 00:15:47,347
Thank you, carla.
324
00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:49,549
Frasier's not my cup
Of tea,
325
00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:52,652
But as husbands go,
He could be
All right.
326
00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:54,454
He won't hurt you,
327
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:57,190
And I think
He'll always
Be faithful.
328
00:15:57,190 --> 00:15:59,726
And if he isn't,
Who cares?
329
00:16:00,994 --> 00:16:04,197
That's kind of
Beautiful.
330
00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:10,870
Dr. Crane? I couldn't
Be happier for you.
331
00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:12,472
She is
A beautiful girl.
332
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,041
Thank you, woody.
333
00:16:14,041 --> 00:16:16,843
My dream is to
Someday fall in love
334
00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:18,645
With a beautiful
Girl and her to fall
In love with me
335
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:23,383
And we get married
And have three
Wonderful children
336
00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:29,056
Who grow up and move
Away from us and
Hardly ever write.
337
00:16:29,056 --> 00:16:31,891
She and I
Would grow old
338
00:16:31,891 --> 00:16:34,227
In an empty house
Together and die.
339
00:16:37,064 --> 00:16:40,667
I forgot. I also
Want a boat.
340
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:44,137
It'll happen
For you, woody.
I know it.
341
00:16:44,137 --> 00:16:45,472
Shall we begin?
342
00:16:45,472 --> 00:16:49,008
May we all gather
Down at this end?
343
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:50,510
My dear.
344
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,512
You look lovely.
345
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,081
You, too, frasier.
346
00:16:54,081 --> 00:16:56,983
But you know what
We're missing?
347
00:16:56,983 --> 00:16:58,151
Music.
348
00:16:58,151 --> 00:16:59,486
Music,
Of course.
349
00:16:59,486 --> 00:17:01,854
Say, anybody play
The piano?
350
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:03,290
I play a little.
351
00:17:03,290 --> 00:17:04,991
Get up there,
Young man,
352
00:17:04,991 --> 00:17:07,127
And regale us
With your
Virtuosity.
353
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,768
[playing heart and soul]
354
00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:19,005
Uh, woody.
355
00:17:19,005 --> 00:17:20,540
Woody.
356
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:23,743
I don't think
That's quite right
For a wedding.
357
00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:25,412
Oh.
358
00:17:26,679 --> 00:17:28,615
[plays slower]
359
00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:37,357
It's, uh...Perfect.
Senseless. Madcap.
360
00:17:37,357 --> 00:17:41,161
Frasier would hate it.
Fras thinks it's swell.
361
00:17:41,161 --> 00:17:43,430
Dearly beloved, we're
Gathered here to join
362
00:17:43,430 --> 00:17:45,532
This man and this woman
In matrimony.
363
00:17:45,532 --> 00:17:49,502
Marriage is a sacred union
Not to be entered into lightly.
364
00:17:49,502 --> 00:17:51,070
If there is
Any person present
365
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:54,141
Who knows a reason
Why this couple
Shouldn't be united,
366
00:17:54,141 --> 00:17:57,544
Speak now or
Forever hold your peace.
367
00:17:57,544 --> 00:17:59,045
I do.
368
00:17:59,045 --> 00:18:01,681
Right phrase,
Wrong wedding.
369
00:18:01,681 --> 00:18:04,217
I have to stop this
And stop it now.
370
00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:06,686
There's something
I must say.
371
00:18:06,686 --> 00:18:11,858
I've tried to avoid it,
I've tried to hold my peace,
But I can't.
372
00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:13,360
It's urgent. Please.
373
00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:16,629
Sam, help.
Let's go, fast.
374
00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:17,930
Uh...
375
00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:20,667
Listen up, everybody.
376
00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:21,701
We'll be back.
377
00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:23,636
In the meantime,
You'll be entertained
378
00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:27,374
By the magic fingers
Of mr. Woody boyd.
379
00:18:28,841 --> 00:18:31,478
[playing heart and soul]
380
00:18:34,681 --> 00:18:38,218
Frasier, candi,
I apologize
For interrupting
381
00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:40,119
What should be
The most important
Moment
382
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,155
In a person's life.
383
00:18:42,155 --> 00:18:44,624
I'm compelled
To do this
384
00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:47,294
By my affection
And respect
For both of you.
385
00:18:47,294 --> 00:18:49,329
Isn't it possible
386
00:18:49,329 --> 00:18:52,332
That in the heat
Of recent events,
387
00:18:52,332 --> 00:18:55,402
You might
Be confusing
Physical attraction
388
00:18:55,402 --> 00:18:58,905
For deeper, more
Sublime emotions?
389
00:18:58,905 --> 00:19:00,507
You know,
In the psychiatric
Profession,
390
00:19:00,507 --> 00:19:03,610
We have a statement
To that little theory of yours.
391
00:19:03,610 --> 00:19:05,478
Hah!
392
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:08,181
Frasier.
393
00:19:08,181 --> 00:19:09,616
You have to admit
You and candi
394
00:19:09,616 --> 00:19:11,184
Are as different
As night and day,
395
00:19:11,184 --> 00:19:13,953
You are as different
As sam and I.
396
00:19:13,953 --> 00:19:15,822
Frasier, hear me out.
397
00:19:17,290 --> 00:19:19,759
We were, as you are,
398
00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:23,196
Diametrically opposed
Personalities.
399
00:19:23,196 --> 00:19:25,632
Oh, at first,
400
00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:27,634
Our differences
Were charming to us.
401
00:19:27,634 --> 00:19:30,703
I found sam's
Lack of refinement
402
00:19:30,703 --> 00:19:32,939
And sophistication...
Crudely provocative.
403
00:19:32,939 --> 00:19:34,874
Yeah, and I
Liked the way
404
00:19:34,874 --> 00:19:37,444
Her hair smelled.
405
00:19:40,380 --> 00:19:41,948
I'm sure in addition
You were excited
406
00:19:41,948 --> 00:19:43,450
By the intellectual
Vistas
407
00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:44,884
To which
I exposed you.
408
00:19:44,884 --> 00:19:47,820
No. I really think
It was that
Conditioner.
409
00:19:49,322 --> 00:19:51,424
The point I'm trying to make
410
00:19:51,424 --> 00:19:53,760
Is that the only thing
We had
411
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,962
Was a great
Physical relationship.
412
00:19:55,962 --> 00:19:57,430
Yeah, and we had
A lot of that.
413
00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:02,869
When we'd go to concerts,
Sam would be bored stiff
414
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:04,237
And I'd be excited,
415
00:20:04,237 --> 00:20:05,872
And we'd be
On totally different planes.
416
00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:07,507
Yeah,
But we caught
The same flight
417
00:20:07,507 --> 00:20:10,943
Once we got home
And hit the old
Posturepedic.
418
00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:12,712
Don't you see what
You're doing here?
419
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:14,981
You feel guilty,
As least subconsciously,
420
00:20:14,981 --> 00:20:16,215
For rejecting me,
421
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:17,617
And that's causing
You to act out.
422
00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:19,185
For once in your life,
Frasier,
423
00:20:19,185 --> 00:20:21,288
Put away
Your flash-card
Psychoanalysis
424
00:20:21,288 --> 00:20:22,822
And face the truth.
425
00:20:22,822 --> 00:20:25,091
How dare you insult
My professional acumen!
426
00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:26,693
Here's what I--
427
00:20:26,693 --> 00:20:29,061
Candi, please, you were not
Put on this earth
To think!
428
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:30,463
Diane,
You are without a doubt--
429
00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:34,000
Oh, my god.
What have I done?
What have I said?
430
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,201
You said
I'm not here--
431
00:20:35,201 --> 00:20:37,103
No, I know what I said.
432
00:20:37,103 --> 00:20:39,639
I just can't believe
I said it.
433
00:20:39,639 --> 00:20:42,975
Candi,
I didn't mean it.
434
00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:44,444
Please forgive me.
435
00:20:44,444 --> 00:20:47,179
Yes, you did
Mean it, frasier.
436
00:20:47,179 --> 00:20:48,748
And what's more,
You're right.
437
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:51,318
I didn't understand
Anything anybody
Was saying
438
00:20:51,318 --> 00:20:53,786
Except for sam.
439
00:20:56,556 --> 00:20:58,090
We can't get married
440
00:20:58,090 --> 00:20:59,792
Because I don't
Deserve you.
441
00:20:59,792 --> 00:21:02,762
No. I don't
Deserve you.
442
00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:04,331
I don't deserve
To put polish
443
00:21:04,331 --> 00:21:06,265
On your toenails.
444
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:08,701
Although it was
The highlight of breakfast.
445
00:21:11,871 --> 00:21:15,575
Maybe...
We should spend
More time together
446
00:21:15,575 --> 00:21:17,377
Before we take
This step.
447
00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:19,011
You mean...
448
00:21:19,011 --> 00:21:21,781
Like the weekend?
449
00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:23,383
That long?
450
00:21:23,383 --> 00:21:25,385
Well, maybe.
451
00:21:25,385 --> 00:21:28,154
I think you've
Made a very wise
Decision.
452
00:21:28,154 --> 00:21:29,989
I think
We'll be going now.
453
00:21:29,989 --> 00:21:33,192
I'm sorry
I snapped at you that way.
454
00:21:33,192 --> 00:21:35,528
It's the first time I've
Raised my voice to you
In anger,
455
00:21:35,528 --> 00:21:37,397
And I promise
It'll be the last.
456
00:21:37,397 --> 00:21:38,898
That's too bad.
457
00:21:38,898 --> 00:21:43,636
I thought
You were kind of sexy
When you were mad.
458
00:21:43,636 --> 00:21:47,507
Really? Well,
Don't just sit there,
Get a move on!
459
00:21:47,507 --> 00:21:51,844
Sam, your office
Is a pigsty!
See to it!
460
00:21:51,844 --> 00:21:53,846
Ooh, frasier.
461
00:21:53,846 --> 00:21:55,948
And you know,
If we can put a man
On the moon,
462
00:21:55,948 --> 00:21:59,085
Why can't
We put metal
In a microwave?
463
00:21:59,085 --> 00:22:01,421
Diane, I got
To compliment you
464
00:22:01,421 --> 00:22:02,989
On the way
You handled frasier.
465
00:22:02,989 --> 00:22:04,424
That was
Pretty good.
466
00:22:04,424 --> 00:22:05,958
Thank you.
467
00:22:05,958 --> 00:22:10,296
Yeah, I hate to see
A man and woman
468
00:22:10,296 --> 00:22:12,264
Make a mistake.
469
00:22:12,264 --> 00:22:14,434
Frasier and candi.
Frasier and candi.
470
00:22:14,434 --> 00:22:16,235
Well, no, no,
I mean,
471
00:22:16,235 --> 00:22:19,372
You got to hang out
With somebody
For a long time,
472
00:22:19,372 --> 00:22:21,708
Get to really get
To know them before
You take a big step.
473
00:22:21,708 --> 00:22:24,276
Yes. If something's
Worthwhile,
474
00:22:24,276 --> 00:22:25,445
It's worth
Waiting for.
475
00:22:25,445 --> 00:22:27,246
Absolutely.
476
00:22:27,246 --> 00:22:31,651
Well, lot of people
Out there waiting
For a wedding.
477
00:22:31,651 --> 00:22:34,454
No bride, no groom.
478
00:22:34,454 --> 00:22:36,122
Guess it's up
To us, huh?
479
00:22:39,992 --> 00:22:42,194
My god, sam.
480
00:22:42,194 --> 00:22:45,465
I can't believe
My ears.
481
00:22:47,299 --> 00:22:49,669
You're serious,
Aren't you?
482
00:22:52,304 --> 00:22:54,240
Oh.
483
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:55,675
Oh, no. No, I--
484
00:22:55,675 --> 00:22:57,243
I just meant that we
Should go out there
485
00:22:57,243 --> 00:23:00,447
And serve those people
Some drinks, that's all.
486
00:23:00,447 --> 00:23:02,281
Oh, that's what
I meant, too.
487
00:23:02,281 --> 00:23:04,784
No, it isn't.
488
00:23:04,784 --> 00:23:07,086
What did you think
I was talking about?
489
00:23:07,086 --> 00:23:09,021
Come on.
490
00:23:09,021 --> 00:23:10,757
Well, for a moment
There, I confess,
491
00:23:10,757 --> 00:23:13,993
I thought you were
Talking about
Something else.
492
00:23:13,993 --> 00:23:18,831
Uh-huh. And what
Would your answer
Have been?
493
00:23:18,831 --> 00:23:20,166
No, sam.
494
00:23:20,166 --> 00:23:22,502
That's the sort of question
That has to be asked
495
00:23:22,502 --> 00:23:24,236
Before it can
Be answered.
496
00:23:24,236 --> 00:23:26,105
Well, if I heard
The answer,
497
00:23:26,105 --> 00:23:28,575
Maybe it would be
Easier for me to ask
The question.
498
00:23:32,545 --> 00:23:35,214
Very well.
499
00:23:35,214 --> 00:23:37,617
The answer is no.
500
00:23:37,617 --> 00:23:39,351
Well, the question was,
501
00:23:39,351 --> 00:23:41,954
Have you ever met a man
Who gave you the hots
More than me?
502
00:23:46,526 --> 00:23:48,928
I'd like to change
My answer.
503
00:23:48,928 --> 00:23:49,762
Fine.
504
00:23:49,762 --> 00:23:51,363
Then the answer is yes.
505
00:23:51,363 --> 00:23:53,900
Well, then the question
Was do you want to go to
Bed with me?
506
00:23:53,900 --> 00:23:55,735
I want to changed
My answer again.
507
00:23:55,735 --> 00:23:57,737
Well, that's ok.
I'll change my question
508
00:23:57,737 --> 00:24:00,473
To is there any way that
You would not object
509
00:24:00,473 --> 00:24:03,209
To not going to bed
With me?
510
00:24:03,209 --> 00:24:04,611
Wait a minute.
36579
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