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1
00:00:02,803 --> 00:00:06,207
Cheers is filmed
Before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:06,207 --> 00:00:09,110
[telephone rings]
3
00:00:09,110 --> 00:00:10,944
Cheers.
4
00:00:10,944 --> 00:00:13,681
Yes, ma'am.
Right away.
5
00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:16,317
It's some lady
Screaming her
Head off.
6
00:00:16,317 --> 00:00:17,851
What'd she want?
7
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:20,088
I don't know.
All I could make out
Was "Two-timing."
8
00:00:20,088 --> 00:00:22,223
Sam, telephone!
9
00:00:24,325 --> 00:00:26,694
Woody, listen up
And learn something.
10
00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:30,698
Sammy here.
11
00:00:30,698 --> 00:00:36,437
Oh! Hey. I thought
You'd like those flowers.
12
00:00:36,437 --> 00:00:37,605
Yeah?
13
00:00:37,605 --> 00:00:39,507
No, no. That sounds
Like my note.
14
00:00:39,507 --> 00:00:42,510
"Thanks, for a wonderful
Evening, barbara.
I had for a great time."
15
00:00:43,511 --> 00:00:46,414
Of course I know
Your name is karen.
16
00:00:48,116 --> 00:00:52,420
Uh...Ha ha! You know,
I see your mistake here.
17
00:00:52,420 --> 00:00:56,056
You see, you didn't
Realize that to me,
18
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:59,026
Barbara means karen.
19
00:00:59,026 --> 00:01:01,028
Well, because.
20
00:01:01,028 --> 00:01:02,763
Because, uh...
21
00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:06,066
Because barbara reminds me
Of barbra streisand,
22
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:09,770
And...And you know
That song about people?
23
00:01:11,239 --> 00:01:13,774
Well, I am getting to it.
24
00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:17,211
You know the line,
25
00:01:17,211 --> 00:01:19,947
"First be a person
Who needs people"?
26
00:01:19,947 --> 00:01:22,383
Well, who was
The first person?
27
00:01:22,383 --> 00:01:25,653
All right, but the first
Female person was eve,
28
00:01:25,653 --> 00:01:29,657
And who's the most
Famous eve of all
But christmas eve, right?
29
00:01:33,194 --> 00:01:37,097
Well, what do you do on
Christmas eve, but you
Go caroling, right?
30
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:39,867
No, I know your name's
Not carolyn.
31
00:01:39,867 --> 00:01:41,769
But after you go caroling,
32
00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:47,375
What you do is,
You carry...In the gifts.
33
00:01:49,009 --> 00:01:52,045
Karen, yeah.
34
00:01:52,045 --> 00:01:54,215
Well, apology accepted,
Sweetheart.
35
00:01:54,215 --> 00:01:56,184
I'll talk to you later.
36
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:03,724
* making your way
In the world today *
37
00:02:03,724 --> 00:02:06,827
* takes everything
You've got *
38
00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:09,630
* taking a break
From all your worries *
39
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:13,234
* sure would help a lot *
40
00:02:13,234 --> 00:02:16,237
* wouldn't you like
To get away? *
41
00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:21,209
* sometimes
You wanna go *
42
00:02:21,209 --> 00:02:26,380
* where everybody
Knows your name *
43
00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:30,851
* and they're always
Glad you came *
44
00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:33,454
* you wanna be
Where you can see *
45
00:02:33,454 --> 00:02:35,889
* our troubles
Are all the same *
46
00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:40,328
* you wanna be where
Everybody knows your name *
47
00:02:41,429 --> 00:02:43,931
* you wanna go
Where people know *
48
00:02:43,931 --> 00:02:46,500
* people are all the same *
49
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:50,938
* you wanna go where
Everybody knows your name *
50
00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:14,628
Hello, everybody.
51
00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:15,863
Clifford.
52
00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:20,668
Cliff clavin is here
To bid you all glad tidings
53
00:03:20,668 --> 00:03:23,136
And buy drinks
For all my friends.
54
00:03:23,136 --> 00:03:24,772
[cheering]
55
00:03:24,772 --> 00:03:26,740
All right! What's the
Occasion, cliffie?
56
00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:28,509
New air-cushioned
Insoles or something?
57
00:03:28,509 --> 00:03:31,612
No, no, no. Better
Than that, normie.
58
00:03:31,612 --> 00:03:35,949
My branch office voted me
Postman of the year.
59
00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:37,818
[diane]
Oh!
60
00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:39,720
It's a very
Prestigious award, too.
61
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:43,624
Only 267 given out in
The greater boston area.
62
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:46,394
We're very proud
Of you.
63
00:03:46,394 --> 00:03:48,529
Will there be
A ceremony?
64
00:03:48,529 --> 00:03:50,163
Oh, of course.
Yeah, yeah.
65
00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:53,934
It's traditional to be held
At the gala postman's ball.
66
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:56,870
Unfortunately, it's not
Going to be televised.
67
00:03:56,870 --> 00:04:00,741
I hear it's
Blacked out in
This area anyway.
68
00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:04,745
But I understand
The postmaster general is
Going to make the toast.
69
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:08,716
Wow. A man of his
Position helping out
In the kitchen.
70
00:04:08,716 --> 00:04:10,551
Only in america.
71
00:04:13,621 --> 00:04:15,823
Ahem, uh,
Excuse me, diane?
72
00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:16,990
Mm-hmm?
73
00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:19,727
Can I have
A word with you?
74
00:04:19,727 --> 00:04:21,261
Of course.
75
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:26,834
"I, cliff clavin,
Would be ever so honored
76
00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:29,837
"If you, a lady of
Exquisite loveliness
And taste
77
00:04:29,837 --> 00:04:33,140
"Whom I hold in
The highest respect
And esteem,
78
00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:36,610
"Would accompany me
With your presence
At the postman's ball
79
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:38,746
"On the 18th
Of this month.
80
00:04:38,746 --> 00:04:41,415
"You would be doing this
Only as a friend.
81
00:04:41,415 --> 00:04:43,417
"There is no
Ulterior motive
82
00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:45,319
"Or strings attached.
83
00:04:45,319 --> 00:04:47,488
Thank you
For listening."
84
00:04:48,656 --> 00:04:50,724
Cliff, I'd love to.
85
00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:51,925
You would?
86
00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:55,629
Yes, but I have something
Else planned that night.
87
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:58,899
It's all right.
I just asked on the
Spur of the moment.
88
00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:04,572
I'm sorry, cliff.
89
00:05:04,572 --> 00:05:06,907
No.
I mean it. I am.
90
00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:10,544
Oh, poor cliff.
91
00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:11,845
Why?
What happened?
92
00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:14,247
Well, he asked me
To his postman's ball,
93
00:05:14,247 --> 00:05:18,719
And I had to tell him
I already have plans
For that evening.
94
00:05:18,719 --> 00:05:20,120
What plans?
95
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:22,723
My cheese club
Meets that night.
96
00:05:22,723 --> 00:05:24,492
You're going to
Eat cheese
97
00:05:24,492 --> 00:05:27,428
Instead of helping
Cliff out on this?
98
00:05:27,428 --> 00:05:29,697
We don't only eat cheese.
99
00:05:29,697 --> 00:05:31,999
We talk about
Eating cheese.
100
00:05:34,702 --> 00:05:37,237
Come on. Obviously,
It means a lot to him.
101
00:05:37,237 --> 00:05:40,207
All he wants to do
Is be seen with a
Classy-looking chick.
102
00:05:40,207 --> 00:05:41,742
I don't know, sam.
103
00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:44,778
Look at all the people
Who've fallen hopelessly
104
00:05:44,778 --> 00:05:48,416
In love with me with only
The slightest encouragement--
105
00:05:48,416 --> 00:05:51,051
You, frasier--
106
00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:52,553
Yourself.
107
00:05:55,389 --> 00:05:58,392
Well, perhaps I was
Being selfish.
108
00:05:58,392 --> 00:05:59,693
There you go.
109
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:01,762
I'll talk to cliff
The first chance I get.
110
00:06:01,762 --> 00:06:02,630
Thank you.
111
00:06:02,630 --> 00:06:04,031
Diane was crushed
When she found
112
00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:05,999
She couldn't go
To the ball with me.
113
00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:08,201
What are you going
To do now, mr. Clavin?
114
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:10,137
I'll just have to
Ask carla.
115
00:06:13,607 --> 00:06:16,243
Are you nuts? Carla
Won't go with you.
116
00:06:16,243 --> 00:06:17,878
She despises you.
117
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:20,313
Well, just because she
Despises me doesn't mean
118
00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:24,518
She can't spend an evening
Dining and dancing with me.
119
00:06:24,518 --> 00:06:27,521
Uh...Carla?
120
00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:29,690
Can I ask you a favor?
121
00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:30,991
What?
122
00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,895
Can we talk
In the pool room?
123
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,396
No.
124
00:06:37,665 --> 00:06:39,733
Carla, that wasn't
The favor.
125
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:42,135
Sheesh! There's more?
126
00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:44,672
What I have to endure!
127
00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:49,477
Now...For the kill.
128
00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:57,485
Carla...
129
00:06:57,485 --> 00:06:59,419
"I, cliff clavin..."
130
00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:05,292
"Would be ever so honored
If you, a lady of...
131
00:07:05,292 --> 00:07:07,427
A lady..."
132
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,731
"Would accompany me
With your presence
133
00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:13,934
"At the gala postman's ball
On the 18th of this month.
134
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:15,669
"You'd be doing this
Only as a friend.
135
00:07:15,669 --> 00:07:18,606
"There is no ulterior motive
Or strings attached.
136
00:07:18,606 --> 00:07:20,974
Thank you for listening."
137
00:07:29,016 --> 00:07:30,484
Carla.
138
00:07:32,185 --> 00:07:34,855
Carla. Carla.
139
00:07:34,855 --> 00:07:38,425
Carla, this is really
Important to me.
140
00:07:38,425 --> 00:07:41,061
I know.
141
00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:43,130
But think of me.
142
00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:48,401
Look, carla,
You don't have to
Dance with me,
143
00:07:48,401 --> 00:07:50,571
And I'll
Buy you a dress.
144
00:07:52,439 --> 00:07:53,874
Nah.
145
00:07:53,874 --> 00:07:54,875
A corsage.
146
00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:56,143
100 bucks!
147
00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:01,515
Nah.
148
00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:03,551
A vcr!
149
00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:07,921
A vcr?
150
00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:12,793
Nice touch,
But I'll have to pass.
151
00:08:14,895 --> 00:08:16,063
Oh...
152
00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:22,636
Good lord!
Is that a tear?
153
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:26,774
Uhh!
154
00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:35,215
I think my greed
Is overcoming
Your repulsiveness.
155
00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:36,584
I'll go.
156
00:08:36,584 --> 00:08:38,285
You'll go?
Oh, carla--
157
00:08:38,285 --> 00:08:42,422
First rule--
No physical contact
Of any kind.
158
00:08:42,422 --> 00:08:46,126
But, carla,
I'm so happy, I got
To hug something.
159
00:08:47,795 --> 00:08:49,630
Ok, you can hug me...
160
00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:51,699
For 5 bucks.
161
00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:57,037
That's it.
162
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:01,709
My pleasure.
163
00:09:03,410 --> 00:09:06,647
Well, I got a date
With carla.
164
00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:07,648
Seriously?
165
00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:09,116
Are you kidding?
166
00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:11,885
She fell for me
Like a sack of cannolis.
167
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:14,922
You got to love them,
The little wenches.
168
00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:18,391
Oh, clifford,
May I speak with
You for a moment?
169
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:19,960
Certainly, diane.
170
00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:24,264
I've been
Thinking about it,
171
00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:26,734
And I've
Decided to break
My engagement
172
00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:29,569
And join you
In your evening
Of triumph.
173
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,504
You'll go with me?
174
00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:34,074
I wouldn't miss it
For the world.
175
00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:39,512
Normie... Norm,
Did you hear that?
176
00:09:39,512 --> 00:09:40,881
Diane will go to
The ball with me.
177
00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:42,816
I'm taking diane
To the ball!
178
00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:45,152
Cliff. Cliff,
Think just a minute, now.
179
00:09:45,152 --> 00:09:47,988
What's wrong
With this picture?
180
00:09:47,988 --> 00:09:50,490
Sam, change
For a 20.
181
00:09:50,490 --> 00:09:53,493
What are you
Talking about?
182
00:09:53,493 --> 00:09:56,196
Oh. Yeah.
I forgot.
183
00:09:56,196 --> 00:09:59,767
I'll just have
To have a huddle
With the man
184
00:09:59,767 --> 00:10:02,602
Who knows almost
As much about
Women as I do.
185
00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:06,473
Sammy...
186
00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:07,607
Mm-hmm? Yeah?
187
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,076
A word,
If you will.
188
00:10:09,076 --> 00:10:10,177
What's up?
189
00:10:10,177 --> 00:10:12,980
I seem to have one of
Those situations again--
190
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:15,548
You know, two dollies lined up
For the same evening.
191
00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:17,785
Does this
Have to do with
192
00:10:17,785 --> 00:10:19,953
Diane, carla, and
That postman thing?
193
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,021
Yeah.
194
00:10:21,021 --> 00:10:24,591
Well, fair's fair.
Who said yes first?
195
00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:26,393
Carla.
196
00:10:26,393 --> 00:10:29,262
Well, you just have
To tell diane you
Can't go with her.
197
00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:30,731
Make up some excuse.
198
00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:32,966
Tell her that
Your girl cousin
From michigan
199
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:36,469
Is in town just for
The day, and that
You got to take her.
200
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:37,738
No, wait a minute.
201
00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:39,873
No, she's already
Heard that one.
202
00:10:41,608 --> 00:10:43,711
Clifford, I've been
Thinking--
203
00:10:43,711 --> 00:10:48,081
You can't go, huh, diane?
Hey, I understand.
204
00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:50,650
Honestly,
You're so insecure.
205
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,920
I was going to say
That I've thought of
206
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:54,554
The perfect dress
To wear,
207
00:10:54,554 --> 00:10:56,690
A sassy little
Strapless number,
208
00:10:56,690 --> 00:10:58,325
Very graceful
For dancing,
209
00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:01,294
With my hair up and
A hint of jewelry
To catch the eye.
210
00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:04,832
I'm going to
Make you very proud.
211
00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:10,237
Now what, sammy?
212
00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:11,972
This is a tough one.
213
00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:15,242
If carla finds out
You asked
Diane first,
214
00:11:15,242 --> 00:11:18,578
You're going to
Be dead before you
Hit the ground.
215
00:11:18,578 --> 00:11:20,147
Hey, hold on
A minute.
216
00:11:20,147 --> 00:11:22,850
All you got to do
Is find carla
Another date--
217
00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:24,317
Someone
Better than you.
218
00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:27,354
Hey, sammy, sammy,
You are a genius.
219
00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:28,756
Well, thank you.
220
00:11:28,756 --> 00:11:32,559
Listen, when you talk
To her about the guy,
221
00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:33,927
Be vague, be general.
222
00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:36,629
Don't get locked
Into anybody specific.
223
00:11:36,629 --> 00:11:38,265
Right.
Vague. General.
224
00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:43,904
Carla? Uh...
How would you like to go
225
00:11:43,904 --> 00:11:46,373
To the postman's ball
With a guy who looks
Like robert redford
226
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:47,875
And drives a porsche?
227
00:11:49,276 --> 00:11:50,978
Why aren't I
Going with you?
228
00:11:50,978 --> 00:11:54,581
Well, there's this buddy
Of mine down at the p.O.--
229
00:11:54,581 --> 00:11:56,149
You might've
Seen him in here.
230
00:11:56,149 --> 00:11:58,018
He's been in
A couple of times.
231
00:11:58,018 --> 00:12:02,255
Well, son of a gun
If he didn't say he's
Got a big crush on you.
232
00:12:02,255 --> 00:12:06,093
And, well, he wanted me
To see if you'd go
To the ball with him.
233
00:12:06,093 --> 00:12:08,161
This isn't just some
Way of getting out
234
00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:10,363
Of giving me
The vcr, is it?
235
00:12:10,363 --> 00:12:12,032
No. No, no, no.
236
00:12:12,032 --> 00:12:14,267
You'll get
Everything I promised.
237
00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:18,105
Plus, the bonus
Of not having to
Go out with you,
238
00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:21,108
Which leads me to
Believe that this guy
239
00:12:21,108 --> 00:12:23,076
Is a bigger loser
Than you are.
240
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:24,611
Just forget it, clavin!
241
00:12:24,611 --> 00:12:26,646
What kind of girl
Do you think I am?
242
00:12:26,646 --> 00:12:28,882
One who would like
A big-screen tv?
243
00:12:28,882 --> 00:12:30,450
That's the kind.
244
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,663
Hello, everyone.
245
00:12:43,663 --> 00:12:45,465
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
246
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:49,536
[howls and whistles]
247
00:12:49,536 --> 00:12:50,971
Good heavens. Whoa!
248
00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:52,705
Miss chambers,
You look beautiful.
249
00:12:52,705 --> 00:12:54,341
Thank you.
Yeah.
Doesn't she?
250
00:12:54,341 --> 00:12:56,977
You know, that
Just opens up
The floodgates
251
00:12:56,977 --> 00:12:59,112
To a lot
Of memories.
252
00:13:00,513 --> 00:13:02,015
Why, thank you, sam
253
00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:04,451
But I don't remember us ever
Going to a formal occasion
254
00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:05,886
While we were dating.
255
00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:07,120
No. I was thinking about
256
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,322
The girl I took to
My high school prom.
257
00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:12,725
Just kidding.
Just kidding.
258
00:13:12,725 --> 00:13:13,961
Woo!
259
00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:16,429
Miss chambers, can I
Tell you something?
260
00:13:16,429 --> 00:13:17,630
Sure, woody.
261
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:20,901
You look like
A hundred bucks.
262
00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:28,608
Thank you, woody.
263
00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:30,911
Oh, what am I
Saying? 200.
264
00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:34,647
Woody, you're turning
My head.
265
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,516
Ok. A hundred.
266
00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:39,953
Oh, look out. Here comes
Your boyfriend.
267
00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:44,191
Woo!
Ow!
268
00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:52,499
Uh, everybody,
I'd like you to
Meet lucas.
269
00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:54,534
Lucas, the gang.
270
00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:56,269
[mumbles]
271
00:13:58,571 --> 00:13:59,706
What?
272
00:13:59,706 --> 00:14:01,008
He said hello.
273
00:14:01,008 --> 00:14:03,510
Lucas is sort of used to
Talking to himself.
274
00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:04,744
Oh. Uh...
275
00:14:04,744 --> 00:14:06,980
Well, lucas,
You want to step on
Down to the bar
276
00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:08,481
And have something
To drink?
277
00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:10,050
[mumbles]
278
00:14:17,124 --> 00:14:19,993
Oh, diane,
You look beautiful!
279
00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:21,561
Thank you.
280
00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:23,096
Oh, uh, this is for you.
281
00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:26,433
Just a little token
Of my affection.
282
00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:28,902
Aww!
Aww!
Aww!
283
00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:30,537
Thank you,
Clifford.
284
00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:33,206
Uh...If you don't
Mind my asking,
285
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:35,042
Who is this
Lucas fellow
286
00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:36,543
And why is he here?
287
00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:40,313
Oh, we're going to double
With him and his date...
288
00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:41,581
Uh, carla.
289
00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:44,784
Carla.
290
00:14:44,784 --> 00:14:47,220
Well, I guess
They're a match.
291
00:14:48,989 --> 00:14:52,592
Although he does look
Like he's been around
A mushroom or two.
292
00:14:56,964 --> 00:14:58,932
Oh, cliff.
293
00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:07,507
Gee, this is...
294
00:15:07,507 --> 00:15:09,376
Big.
295
00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:11,411
Big and...
296
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:12,779
Beautiful.
297
00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:14,948
Why don't you
Try it on?
298
00:15:14,948 --> 00:15:16,449
Oh, no, no.
299
00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:20,253
Something this
Big and beautiful
Should be preserved.
300
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:21,854
Don't worry
About that, diane.
301
00:15:21,854 --> 00:15:24,924
That's guaranteed to last
Through a 20-knot wind.
302
00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:33,800
Sorry I'm late.
303
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:36,336
The baby spit up
On my dress.
304
00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:40,240
I had to buy a brooch
Big enough to cover it.
305
00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:44,011
Real diamond chips.
75 bucks.
306
00:15:46,679 --> 00:15:48,381
Hey...
307
00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:53,320
What is whitey doing here
Dressed like that?
308
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:56,189
Oh, uh, diane's
The only date
309
00:15:56,189 --> 00:15:58,558
I could scrape up
At the last minute.
310
00:15:58,558 --> 00:15:59,859
Oh, yeah?
311
00:15:59,859 --> 00:16:02,229
What are you paying her?
312
00:16:02,229 --> 00:16:04,531
Uh...Transistor radio.
313
00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:06,666
Ooh, a cheap date!
314
00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:08,535
I knew it.
315
00:16:08,535 --> 00:16:13,040
[growling]
Arf arf!
316
00:16:15,108 --> 00:16:18,445
Carla, don't you want
To meet your date?
317
00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:22,182
I thought he was
Supposed to look like
Robert redford.
318
00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:25,885
Well, he does...
From a distance.
319
00:16:25,885 --> 00:16:27,954
Yeah. Mars.
320
00:16:27,954 --> 00:16:30,857
And you'll soon
Find out
321
00:16:30,857 --> 00:16:33,360
Why a planet
Came to mind.
322
00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:40,700
Carla, I'd like you
To meet lucas.
323
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:42,735
Lucas, your date carla.
324
00:16:42,735 --> 00:16:44,537
[mumbles]
325
00:16:49,476 --> 00:16:50,843
What did he say?
326
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:52,645
I can't believe
It matters.
327
00:16:56,749 --> 00:17:01,254
I can see
This is going to be
A laugh a minute.
328
00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:03,756
An evening with
The stick, the nerd,
329
00:17:03,756 --> 00:17:06,359
And door
Number three.
330
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:09,462
You kids have
A great time.
331
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:14,634
Good night.
332
00:17:14,634 --> 00:17:15,968
[honk honk]
333
00:17:15,968 --> 00:17:17,404
Jimmy, yo.
334
00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:27,414
Well! You two seem
To be getting on
Pretty well.
335
00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:39,092
Yeah, well...
336
00:17:39,092 --> 00:17:42,295
I sure hate to have
To admit this, clavin,
337
00:17:42,295 --> 00:17:45,398
But tall, dark,
And gruesome here...
338
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:48,935
Ha ha! Turns out to be
A real groove.
339
00:17:48,935 --> 00:17:52,505
[mumbling]
Ha ha ha!
340
00:17:52,505 --> 00:17:54,541
Not a great dancer,
Though.
341
00:17:54,541 --> 00:17:57,177
He mashed in the toes
Of my shoes.
342
00:17:57,177 --> 00:17:58,911
I'll bill you
For a new pair.
343
00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:00,079
I don't believe this.
344
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:02,282
You should be
Buying me a vcr.
345
00:18:03,983 --> 00:18:05,585
Just wait a minute.
346
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:08,321
You're not going to
Welch on our deal, are you?
347
00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:09,556
Carla, come on,
Will you?
348
00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:11,324
You're making out
Like a bandit here.
349
00:18:11,324 --> 00:18:15,128
At least
You're getting some
Lovin' tonight.
350
00:18:15,128 --> 00:18:16,763
Boy, I made
The wrong choice
351
00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:18,731
Between
You and diane.
352
00:18:22,135 --> 00:18:24,036
What did you say?
353
00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:25,705
Uh...
354
00:18:25,705 --> 00:18:27,274
I said, "You and diane
355
00:18:27,274 --> 00:18:29,409
Look really
Choice tonight."
356
00:18:31,978 --> 00:18:34,013
I see.
357
00:18:34,013 --> 00:18:36,549
So where is
The stick, anyway?
358
00:18:36,549 --> 00:18:38,485
She's just gone
To freshen up.
359
00:18:38,485 --> 00:18:41,754
She'll be out in
A couple of minutes.
360
00:18:41,754 --> 00:18:44,824
You know, I never would
Have thought it--you two.
361
00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:47,126
What are you
Talking about?
362
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,196
Look, I shouldn't
Be telling you this,
363
00:18:49,196 --> 00:18:52,064
But when you two guys
Went to get some punch,
364
00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:57,437
Diane told me that she wished
You'd come on stronger.
365
00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:04,677
In fact, she said that
She wished that you would do
366
00:19:04,677 --> 00:19:08,315
The one thing to her
That no man has ever done,
367
00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:10,483
I mean not even sammy--
368
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,719
One thing that
Makes her crazy.
369
00:19:12,719 --> 00:19:14,020
What? What?
370
00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:16,088
Uh...
371
00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:19,759
Just out
Of curiosity.
372
00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:22,795
Run your fingers
Up and down her arm,
373
00:19:22,795 --> 00:19:24,864
Look into her eyes,
374
00:19:24,864 --> 00:19:27,200
And sing misty.
375
00:19:29,135 --> 00:19:31,638
Diane: sorry to
Hold you up.
376
00:19:39,579 --> 00:19:42,382
Well, let's be on
Our way, clifford.
377
00:19:57,630 --> 00:20:01,968
Clifford, I want you
To know that I liked
Your speech best,
378
00:20:01,968 --> 00:20:05,071
Out of all 267.
379
00:20:05,071 --> 00:20:07,340
Really?
380
00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:09,242
Absolutely.
381
00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:13,513
Listen, diane,
I want to thank you
382
00:20:13,513 --> 00:20:15,915
For keeping up
The act tonight,
383
00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:17,717
Staying by my side.
384
00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:20,753
It wasn't entirely
An act, cliff.
385
00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:24,391
I think tonight was
The first time I saw you
With your guard down.
386
00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:26,493
You were yourself,
387
00:20:26,493 --> 00:20:29,161
Not some mutation
Of sam malone
388
00:20:29,161 --> 00:20:31,163
Trying to
Impress people
389
00:20:31,163 --> 00:20:33,566
With tales of
Sexual exploits.
390
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:36,769
Women don't really
Like that, cliff.
391
00:20:36,769 --> 00:20:40,172
They want men to be
Sweet and vulnerable.
392
00:20:40,172 --> 00:20:43,075
Then how come
Sammy always scores?
393
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:45,111
Because he's gorgeous.
394
00:20:45,111 --> 00:20:48,681
I mean, he has
Low standards.
395
00:20:48,681 --> 00:20:51,718
He'll go out
With any floozy who
Comes down the pike.
396
00:20:51,718 --> 00:20:54,421
Speaking of pike, how come
We're not we on it?
397
00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:57,924
Uh, I wanted to take
The long way home.
398
00:20:57,924 --> 00:21:02,795
Yeah. I just had
The time of
My life tonight,
399
00:21:02,795 --> 00:21:05,365
And I don't
Want it to end.
400
00:21:05,365 --> 00:21:07,500
Just want to feel
The night wind
In my hair
401
00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:09,869
And share the
Company of you
Good people.
402
00:21:16,309 --> 00:21:18,445
I think it's
Wonderful, cliff.
403
00:21:18,445 --> 00:21:21,180
Yeah. I think tonight
404
00:21:21,180 --> 00:21:23,750
Was a real
Breakthrough for you.
405
00:21:23,750 --> 00:21:25,251
Perhaps we've seen the end
406
00:21:25,251 --> 00:21:28,655
Of the old insecure,
Arrested adolescent,
407
00:21:28,655 --> 00:21:30,323
And we're seeing
The emergence
408
00:21:30,323 --> 00:21:32,992
Of the real
Cliff clavin.
409
00:21:32,992 --> 00:21:35,294
[engine dies]
410
00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:36,929
Oh!
411
00:21:36,929 --> 00:21:39,031
What? What's wrong?
412
00:21:39,031 --> 00:21:41,468
Darn! We ran
Out of gas.
413
00:21:44,036 --> 00:21:45,405
Well...
414
00:21:45,405 --> 00:21:47,840
The gauge reads
Half full.
415
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:50,109
Yeah. It always
Reads half full.
416
00:21:50,109 --> 00:21:51,711
It's stuck there.
417
00:21:51,711 --> 00:21:53,813
I guess in
The excitement
Of the night,
418
00:21:53,813 --> 00:21:55,948
I just forgot to
Fill the tank.
419
00:21:57,617 --> 00:22:00,787
Well, what are we
Going to do?
420
00:22:00,787 --> 00:22:04,457
We're miles from
A gas station.
421
00:22:21,007 --> 00:22:24,343
* look at me *
422
00:22:26,713 --> 00:22:31,551
* I'm as helpless
As a kitten in a tree *
423
00:22:31,551 --> 00:22:34,186
* and I'm clingin'
To a cloud *
424
00:22:34,186 --> 00:22:37,924
* I can't understand *
425
00:22:37,924 --> 00:22:40,527
* I get misty *
426
00:22:40,527 --> 00:22:44,864
* just holding
Your hand *
427
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:49,969
* walk my way *
428
00:22:49,969 --> 00:22:52,839
Get out.
429
00:22:52,839 --> 00:22:54,306
* and a thousand-- **
430
00:22:54,306 --> 00:22:56,943
Now!
431
00:22:56,943 --> 00:22:58,645
Yes, ma'am.
432
00:23:02,649 --> 00:23:04,751
Diane, look, you
Don't understand.
433
00:23:04,751 --> 00:23:06,886
I don't know
What happened
To me tonight.
434
00:23:06,886 --> 00:23:10,256
Uh...The wine
Must have gone to
My head, diane.
435
00:23:10,256 --> 00:23:11,724
Look, you know
I hold you
436
00:23:11,724 --> 00:23:13,793
In the highest
Respect and esteem,
437
00:23:13,793 --> 00:23:17,063
And would never
Ever, do anything
To upset you.
438
00:23:18,965 --> 00:23:20,567
Well...
439
00:23:20,567 --> 00:23:22,869
Running out of gas?
Really!
440
00:23:22,869 --> 00:23:25,304
We did run out
Of gas, diane.
441
00:23:25,304 --> 00:23:26,973
Clifford.
442
00:23:26,973 --> 00:23:28,941
Well, look. Uh...
443
00:23:28,941 --> 00:23:32,779
Would a sign from
God convince you?
444
00:23:32,779 --> 00:23:34,481
Maybe.
445
00:23:34,481 --> 00:23:36,983
All right, uh...
446
00:23:36,983 --> 00:23:38,117
Uh...
447
00:23:38,117 --> 00:23:39,819
Almighty god...
448
00:23:41,087 --> 00:23:44,090
Please, if I'm
Telling the truth
449
00:23:44,090 --> 00:23:46,959
About this car
Running out
Of gas tonight,
450
00:23:46,959 --> 00:23:48,628
Let it start now,
451
00:23:48,628 --> 00:23:51,297
Even on
An empty tank.
452
00:23:51,297 --> 00:23:52,999
[engine starts]
453
00:23:52,999 --> 00:23:54,567
Diane, hallelujah!
454
00:23:54,567 --> 00:23:57,369
Oh, hallelujah!
Diane! Oh!
455
00:23:57,369 --> 00:23:58,705
Hey!
456
00:24:03,676 --> 00:24:05,812
[whistling misty]
31469
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