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1
00:00:03,771 --> 00:00:06,006
Cheers is filmed before
A live studio audience.
2
00:00:06,974 --> 00:00:08,809
Evening, everybody.
3
00:00:08,809 --> 00:00:10,178
Norm!
Norm!
4
00:00:10,178 --> 00:00:11,779
What can I
Do for you, mr.
Peterson?
5
00:00:11,779 --> 00:00:14,482
Elope with my wife.
6
00:00:14,482 --> 00:00:15,683
How you doing?
7
00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:17,885
Pretend we're
Having a normal
Conversation.
8
00:00:17,885 --> 00:00:20,288
With you?
9
00:00:20,288 --> 00:00:22,623
Party.
My house. Saturday.
10
00:00:22,623 --> 00:00:25,826
12 noon sharp.
You're invited.
11
00:00:25,826 --> 00:00:27,128
A party at noon?
12
00:00:27,128 --> 00:00:28,529
Shh! Keep it under
Your hat, will ya?
13
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:30,164
You're the only one
In the bar I invited,
14
00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:32,433
And I don' want to hurt
Anybody's feelings.
15
00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:34,335
Hurt mine.
16
00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:36,537
Norm, look, we're gonna
Have plenty of beer,
17
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:39,173
Cold cuts galore,
A big bucket of slaw.
18
00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:41,142
You're gonna love it.
19
00:00:41,142 --> 00:00:43,544
And we're gonna maybe
Do a little painting.
20
00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:44,812
Painting?
21
00:00:44,812 --> 00:00:46,647
Yeah, just the attic.
It's not the point.
22
00:00:46,647 --> 00:00:49,217
I'm inviting a lot of guys
From the post office.
23
00:00:49,217 --> 00:00:50,351
It should be a great time.
24
00:00:50,351 --> 00:00:51,519
I don't think so,
Cliffie.
25
00:00:51,519 --> 00:00:53,554
What's the problem
Here, norm?
26
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:55,022
You know
I hate painting.
You know that.
27
00:00:55,022 --> 00:00:57,024
Yeah, well, so who doesn't?
28
00:00:57,024 --> 00:00:58,526
But with all these guys
Around there,
29
00:00:58,526 --> 00:01:00,161
It'll take
No time at all.
30
00:01:00,161 --> 00:01:02,496
All right,
Don't tell vera,
All right?
31
00:01:02,496 --> 00:01:05,433
She'd get upset.
I haven't finished
Painting our house.
32
00:01:05,433 --> 00:01:07,301
How far
Have you gotten?
33
00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:09,503
Well, I bought
The little hat.
34
00:01:15,943 --> 00:01:18,379
* makin' your way
In the world today *
35
00:01:18,379 --> 00:01:21,549
* takes everything
You've got *
36
00:01:21,549 --> 00:01:24,051
* takin' a break
From all your worries *
37
00:01:24,051 --> 00:01:26,320
* sure would
Help a lot *
38
00:01:27,555 --> 00:01:30,524
* wouldn't you like
To get away *
39
00:01:33,394 --> 00:01:35,529
* sometimes
You wanna go *
40
00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:38,832
* where everybody
Knows your name *
41
00:01:40,734 --> 00:01:44,338
* and they're always
Glad you came *
42
00:01:45,406 --> 00:01:48,041
* you wanna be
Where you can see *
43
00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:50,411
* our troubles
Are all the same *
44
00:01:50,411 --> 00:01:51,679
* you wanna be *
45
00:01:51,679 --> 00:01:54,682
* where everybody
Knows your name *
46
00:01:55,749 --> 00:01:58,419
* you wanna go
Where people know *
47
00:01:58,419 --> 00:02:01,021
* people are
All the same *
48
00:02:01,021 --> 00:02:02,256
* you wanna go *
49
00:02:02,256 --> 00:02:05,526
* where everybody
Knows your name *
50
00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:25,179
I'm so tired tonight.
I can't wait to get home
51
00:02:25,179 --> 00:02:28,349
And take a nice
Hot bath.
52
00:02:28,349 --> 00:02:32,753
What? Little miss popularity
Has a free evening?
53
00:02:32,753 --> 00:02:36,257
Don't tell me
You've been through
All the men in boston?
54
00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:38,326
Really, frasier.
55
00:02:38,326 --> 00:02:39,893
I heard you used to be
A psychiatrist,
Dr. Crane.
56
00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:43,497
Yes, I once belonged
To that ridiculous
Profession
57
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:46,099
Where pompous
Intellectuals
Get together
58
00:02:46,099 --> 00:02:49,203
And discuss the illusion
That there's something
They can do
59
00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:51,539
To can alter
The human situation,
60
00:02:51,539 --> 00:02:53,507
And deny that
Man is condemned
61
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:56,310
To a life
Of bitterness
And despair.
62
00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:59,347
Yeah, but you got
Your weekends off.
63
00:03:02,149 --> 00:03:05,486
I'm sorry.
Will you excuse me?
64
00:03:05,486 --> 00:03:07,521
Frasier lost his job
65
00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:09,890
And all he's got
Working for him is
A drinking problem.
66
00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:12,493
You know,
We ought
To help dr. Crane.
67
00:03:12,493 --> 00:03:14,728
I mean,
We're his friends.
68
00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:17,231
Somebody ought
To give him a good
Talking to.
69
00:03:17,231 --> 00:03:18,766
Don't you think
I've done that?
70
00:03:18,766 --> 00:03:23,504
You can't imagine how long
And how hard I've talked.
71
00:03:23,504 --> 00:03:26,340
Oh, yes we can.
Oh, yeah.
72
00:03:27,308 --> 00:03:30,043
He's lost his self-esteem.
73
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:34,047
Without that, how can
He hope to practice
His profession?
74
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,683
You know what
Frasier needs?
75
00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:38,986
He needs to come out
Of the bullpen and get
His first out,
76
00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:40,788
You know,
Get his confidence
Back, his rhythm.
77
00:03:40,788 --> 00:03:43,457
Sam, you're right.
If he could only
Cure someone.
78
00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:46,360
Do we know someone
With a problem?
79
00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:53,166
Ehh...Stumper.
80
00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:55,669
Come on,
Doesn't anyone want
To talk to frasier?
81
00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:58,038
I mean, he's
A trained psychiatrist.
82
00:03:58,038 --> 00:04:00,140
Hey, you're the one
Who had her brain
Overhauled.
83
00:04:00,140 --> 00:04:02,710
Aren't you still
Under warranty
Or something?
84
00:04:04,512 --> 00:04:06,714
If I talk to him
In any personal way,
85
00:04:06,714 --> 00:04:09,617
He'll interpret it
As a romantic overture.
86
00:04:09,617 --> 00:04:12,353
Look, we don't even need
Someone with a real problem.
87
00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:14,322
One of you could go to
Him with some symptoms
88
00:04:14,322 --> 00:04:15,556
Let him advise you,
Wait a while,
89
00:04:15,556 --> 00:04:18,058
Then tell him
You feel better.
90
00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:20,160
I don't know, diane.
91
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,563
Well, I think
It's a good plan.
92
00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:24,998
Well, thank you, woody.
93
00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:26,567
It's quick, simple.
94
00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:28,035
And you don't
Have to send away
For those kits
95
00:04:28,035 --> 00:04:29,937
Or anything.
96
00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:31,339
What kits?
97
00:04:31,339 --> 00:04:36,610
Like the coyote does in
The roadrunner cartoons.
98
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:38,679
By the way,
Now I always wondered,
99
00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:40,914
If he can afford
To buy those kits
To catch the roadrunner,
100
00:04:40,914 --> 00:04:43,684
Why can't he afford
To buy something to eat?
101
00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:47,187
Woody, I think you're
Missing the point here.
102
00:04:47,187 --> 00:04:48,522
It's not that
103
00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:51,592
Wile e. Coyote
Wants to eat, necessarily,
104
00:04:51,592 --> 00:04:53,427
Or that he wants
To eat a roadrunner.
105
00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:54,828
What he wants
106
00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:58,231
Is to eat that
Particular roadrunner.
107
00:04:58,231 --> 00:05:00,801
It's very existential.
108
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:03,471
We're trying to save
A man's life here.
109
00:05:03,471 --> 00:05:05,473
Yeah, cliff,
Really.
110
00:05:05,473 --> 00:05:07,207
Besides,
I have to disagree
With you.
111
00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:10,678
You never see the
Coyote ever eat
Anything else.
112
00:05:10,678 --> 00:05:13,213
Think about it. You
Never really see him
Eats anything at all.
113
00:05:13,213 --> 00:05:15,916
Which could be why
He's missing the damn
Bird all the time.
114
00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:17,985
The brain needs sugar.
Think about it.
115
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:21,221
Yeah, yeah, but did you guys
Ever see the one
116
00:05:21,221 --> 00:05:22,956
Where there were
2 roadrunners?
117
00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:24,492
2 roadrunners?
118
00:05:24,492 --> 00:05:25,993
Sam, sam,
I think
119
00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:27,461
This plan will work.
120
00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:29,196
And you're the one
That has to do it.
121
00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:30,798
Me? Oh, come on.
122
00:05:30,798 --> 00:05:32,099
You can't expect me to
Pull something over on frasier.
123
00:05:32,099 --> 00:05:33,934
I don't know anything
About psychology.
124
00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:35,636
But you have no idea
How simple this will be.
125
00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:37,471
I'm talking
About something
126
00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:39,807
As easy as...
Say, depression.
127
00:05:39,807 --> 00:05:40,908
Depression.
128
00:05:40,908 --> 00:05:43,944
Yes.
The symptoms are
Loss of appetite,
129
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:46,680
Inability to sleep,
Loss of sex drive--
130
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:50,050
Whoa, whoa.
Loss of sex drive?
131
00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:52,820
Like in not wanting
To have any sex? Forget it.
132
00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:55,489
No, no. I don't like to lie
About things like that.
133
00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:58,459
Oh, sam, why not?
134
00:05:58,459 --> 00:06:00,961
When I was a kid,
I used to make
Goofy faces,
135
00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:04,798
My mom used to say,
"Don't do that. It
May stay that way."
136
00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:08,436
I'm not doing
Anything goofy
With my sex life.
137
00:06:08,436 --> 00:06:12,940
Sam, sam, do this for me,
And I'll owe you
A big, big favor--
138
00:06:12,940 --> 00:06:16,844
That doesn't involve
Sex, sex, or sex.
139
00:06:16,844 --> 00:06:18,345
How about sex?
140
00:06:18,345 --> 00:06:19,747
Or sex.
141
00:06:19,747 --> 00:06:23,684
Woody, pour me a beer,
Will you? Thanks.
142
00:06:23,684 --> 00:06:28,021
Sam, do it for frasier,
Your friend.
143
00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:30,658
Now,
There's a head
I can shrink.
144
00:06:32,092 --> 00:06:33,360
Say, frasier?
145
00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:35,062
Yeah, sam?
146
00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:36,497
Can I talk to you
147
00:06:36,497 --> 00:06:38,331
For a minute in
My office, please?
148
00:06:38,331 --> 00:06:40,968
This won't
Take long.
149
00:06:40,968 --> 00:06:43,837
Look, sam, I know
My bar bill's way up there,
150
00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:45,506
But I'm going to
Be selling off part
Of my library,
151
00:06:45,506 --> 00:06:47,174
Possibly
Some office furniture.
152
00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:48,709
No, no. Forget it.
153
00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:50,177
No, I mean,
I want you to
Pay your bar bill,
154
00:06:50,177 --> 00:06:52,480
But that's not what I
Want to talk about.
155
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:55,549
Frasier,
I got a problem.
I'm depressed.
156
00:06:55,549 --> 00:06:57,818
Hey, who isn't?
157
00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,655
Well, no, no.
This is serious.
158
00:07:01,655 --> 00:07:04,492
I think I need some
Professional help
On this one.
159
00:07:04,492 --> 00:07:06,426
I can't eat,
Can't sleep,
160
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:10,330
And I can't...
Have sex.
161
00:07:10,330 --> 00:07:12,065
Well, those are
Classic symptoms.
162
00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:13,734
Yeah, well,
The sex part's
Not bad.
163
00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:16,970
I don't even
Know why I
Brought it up.
164
00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:19,807
Well, what do you think
Has caused this problem?
165
00:07:19,807 --> 00:07:21,575
The completely
Non-sexual one?
166
00:07:21,575 --> 00:07:25,145
Um, well, I don't
Know. I don't know.
167
00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:26,747
What do you think
It is?
168
00:07:26,747 --> 00:07:29,617
You're the only person
I trust to listen to
On this one.
169
00:07:29,617 --> 00:07:33,654
Well, ok, sam, I think
I have some advice for you.
170
00:07:33,654 --> 00:07:34,922
Oh, good, what?
171
00:07:34,922 --> 00:07:38,726
Well, get yourself
A qualified therapist
172
00:07:38,726 --> 00:07:40,728
To help you
Get over your depression.
173
00:07:40,728 --> 00:07:44,064
And when you do,
Give me his name.
174
00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:49,069
Cliff: no way
Can a coyote survive
A gunpowder sandwich.
175
00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:53,073
Norm:
I suppose that proves
176
00:07:53,073 --> 00:07:55,208
That the coyote's
The antichrist. Come on.
177
00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:01,582
Well, I can tell
By the look on your face
And frasier's
178
00:08:01,582 --> 00:08:03,584
That it didn't go well.
179
00:08:03,584 --> 00:08:05,252
Not only
Did it not work,
180
00:08:05,252 --> 00:08:06,687
But I had to tell
Another man
181
00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:09,322
That my equipment
Was on the fritz.
182
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:13,160
It was humiliating.
183
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:17,865
Well, I really appreciate
That you gave it a try, sam.
184
00:08:17,865 --> 00:08:19,332
Thanks.
185
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:20,801
Oh, wait a minute.
186
00:08:20,801 --> 00:08:22,335
You still owe me
A favor here,
Don't you?
187
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:23,470
Well, I suppose I do.
188
00:08:23,470 --> 00:08:24,772
Do you have something
In mind?
189
00:08:24,772 --> 00:08:25,939
Yeah,
Let's go to bed.
190
00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:29,743
Sam, have you
Forgotten my caveats?
191
00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:32,145
Almost. I was hoping
To refresh my memory.
192
00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:41,755
Good morning, one and all.
I feel delicious.
193
00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:43,323
Well, good morning,
Frasier.
194
00:08:43,323 --> 00:08:44,524
Good morning.
195
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,126
Coffee. May I?
196
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:47,628
Sure.
Certainly.
197
00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:49,663
Listen, diane,
If you wouldn't mind,
I'd like to have
198
00:08:49,663 --> 00:08:51,899
A word in private
With sam.
199
00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:54,668
Of course.
Help yourself.
200
00:08:54,668 --> 00:08:58,205
Sam, I had the most
Incredible evening.
201
00:08:58,205 --> 00:09:00,674
Last night I dreamed
About something
Notdiane.
202
00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:01,875
Well, she was
In the background,
203
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:04,678
Chattering on about
Something, naked.
204
00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:06,413
But the important is
205
00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:08,215
I was a therapist
Again,
206
00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:09,216
And you were
My patient,
207
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:11,384
And we were
Discussing
That problem.
208
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:12,586
Problem?
What problem?
209
00:09:12,586 --> 00:09:14,087
Well, you know.
The one about your--
210
00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:15,689
* jingle bells,
Jingle bells *
211
00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:17,490
* jingle all the way *
212
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:20,560
Why don't we just go
In my office here and talk
About it, ok?
213
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,295
I'm sorry it's so messy.
214
00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:23,864
I got home last
Night,
215
00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:25,032
And I couldn't get
Your problem out
Of my mind.
216
00:09:25,032 --> 00:09:26,499
I think I've got
A handle on it.
217
00:09:26,499 --> 00:09:27,768
Oh, great.
218
00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:29,302
Your whole problem
Stems from the fact
219
00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:31,639
That you're still
In love with diane.
220
00:09:31,639 --> 00:09:33,340
Now you've
Been suppressing
That emotion,
221
00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:34,574
Denying it.
222
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,576
Well, what's your
Opinion about that?
223
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,345
Let me go find out.
224
00:09:38,345 --> 00:09:39,546
I mean, let me
Think it out.
225
00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:42,282
I think better out here,
More or less.
226
00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:44,317
I hope you're happy.
227
00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:46,053
Why, what happened?
228
00:09:46,053 --> 00:09:47,688
Frasier thinks
I'm depressed
229
00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:49,089
Because I'm
In love with you.
230
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:52,225
Oh, dear. I didn't
See that coming.
231
00:09:52,225 --> 00:09:53,727
Yeah, well, I'm gonna
Go back in there,
Tell him the truth
232
00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:55,328
Before this
Gets ridiculous.
233
00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:58,732
Oh, sam, didn't you see
The bounce in that man's step,
234
00:09:58,732 --> 00:10:00,167
The twinkle in his eye?
235
00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:02,836
Let him think he
Made a good diagnosis.
236
00:10:02,836 --> 00:10:05,739
What harm could it
Possibly do?
237
00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:08,375
I don't know.
As long as
You don't think
238
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:09,476
I'm in love
With you.
239
00:10:09,476 --> 00:10:11,344
Well, I don't.
240
00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:13,046
Not entirely.
241
00:10:14,247 --> 00:10:16,016
At all.
242
00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:18,085
Much.
243
00:10:18,085 --> 00:10:21,021
Not a bit.
244
00:10:21,021 --> 00:10:23,724
Mostly.
245
00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:25,425
Ok. You got it.
246
00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:26,760
Got what?
247
00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:28,361
Oh, come on,
We don't have to rehash this
248
00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:29,663
Over and over again.
249
00:10:29,663 --> 00:10:31,264
You said it
And I agree with it.
250
00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:33,934
Trust me.
Sam, say it.
251
00:10:33,934 --> 00:10:37,337
Take a step toward
Feeling stronger
And better.
252
00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:39,506
Free yourself, sam.
253
00:10:39,506 --> 00:10:42,075
Say it now.
254
00:10:47,514 --> 00:10:49,149
Ok.
255
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:50,751
Ok.
256
00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:52,285
I love diane.
257
00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:54,354
Oh, god! It is true!
258
00:11:08,635 --> 00:11:10,670
Thank you, sam.
259
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:13,506
You're welcome.
Are you all right?
260
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:17,277
I'm better than all
Right. I'm reborn.
261
00:11:17,277 --> 00:11:19,546
That revelation
Was just the
Catharsis I needed.
262
00:11:19,546 --> 00:11:24,051
I've looked at the
Truth in its pure
Undiluted form.
263
00:11:24,051 --> 00:11:27,220
Now I can
Get on with my life.
264
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:30,824
Great. Hey, I feel better.
You feel better.
265
00:11:30,824 --> 00:11:32,292
What could be better?
266
00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:34,627
No. Just a second,
Sam. You've
Only begun.
267
00:11:34,627 --> 00:11:35,929
What do you mean?
268
00:11:35,929 --> 00:11:37,898
You've admitted that
You love diane.
269
00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:39,132
In order to get rid
Of your depression,
270
00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:40,467
You will have to
Admit it to her.
271
00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:42,102
Sam, you must
Tell her that you
Love her.
272
00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:44,237
Oh, come on.
273
00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:47,507
Don't make me
Say that. Come on.
274
00:11:47,507 --> 00:11:48,708
Well, why not?
275
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,443
Because I don't...
276
00:11:50,443 --> 00:11:51,812
Because I don't
Want to.
277
00:11:51,812 --> 00:11:54,815
Come on, man!
Tell diane you love her!
278
00:11:54,815 --> 00:11:57,550
Let some fresh air
And sunlight in there.
279
00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,419
Frasier.
280
00:11:59,419 --> 00:12:00,687
What?
281
00:12:00,687 --> 00:12:03,223
I don't like guys
Touching my head.
282
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:06,359
Well, there's
Our next session.
283
00:12:10,097 --> 00:12:11,698
I'm gonna run over
To louie's
284
00:12:11,698 --> 00:12:13,200
And take a look at
The new spring line.
285
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:14,868
See what I can do for
The outer man, eh, sam?
286
00:12:14,868 --> 00:12:16,636
Yeah, yeah,
Good idea.
287
00:12:16,636 --> 00:12:18,438
So this thing
With diane
288
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:20,240
Doesn't have to take
Place right away?
289
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,674
Oh, yes, it does.
290
00:12:21,674 --> 00:12:24,311
Sam, it's very important.
You must tell her
Immediately.
291
00:12:24,311 --> 00:12:26,546
Now, listen,
I'll be back tomorrow,
And you can fill me in
292
00:12:26,546 --> 00:12:27,948
On everything
That transpires.
293
00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:30,683
Every thought, every
Nuance, every detail.
294
00:12:30,683 --> 00:12:32,052
Every thought?
295
00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:34,387
Absolutely. Sam,
This one's on the house.
296
00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:36,156
Huh. Great.
297
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:42,429
Afternoon, everybody.
298
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:43,864
Norm!
Norm!
Norm!
299
00:12:43,864 --> 00:12:45,665
What can I get
You, mr.
Peterson?
300
00:12:45,665 --> 00:12:48,235
Clifford clavin's head.
301
00:12:48,235 --> 00:12:51,538
What are you upset
With mr. Clavin about?
302
00:12:51,538 --> 00:12:53,440
I spent the whole
Day yesterday at
Cliff's house
303
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:54,774
At a painting party,
304
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:56,877
And I was
The only one who
Showed up.
305
00:12:57,911 --> 00:12:59,079
I painted all day
306
00:12:59,079 --> 00:13:01,048
While cliff and his
Mother argued
307
00:13:01,048 --> 00:13:04,551
Over who
Forgot to pick up
The food and beer.
308
00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:07,220
Well, did they
At least thank you
For your hard work?
309
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:09,156
Well, woody, that
Depends if you
Consider
310
00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:12,025
"Your friend
Sweats like a mule"
A thank you.
311
00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:18,198
No, that's really more like
Polite conversation.
312
00:13:18,198 --> 00:13:22,802
Hey, what a party.
What a nigh.
313
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:25,472
Ah, hey, norm,
Tell me,
314
00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:27,908
Did I make an ass
Out of myself, huh?
315
00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:31,111
I'd bet on it.
316
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:39,019
Sam, calm down.
There's nothing to be
Excited about.
317
00:13:39,019 --> 00:13:42,089
Tell frasier
You told me you love me.
318
00:13:42,089 --> 00:13:43,957
Simple as that, huh?
Certainly.
319
00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:46,293
Well, for
Your information,
He wants details--
320
00:13:46,293 --> 00:13:48,495
Every thought,
Every moment.
321
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:52,432
Oh, dear, you're right.
Knowing frasier,
322
00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:54,634
He'll want
A complete account.
323
00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:56,069
Yeah, right.
324
00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:57,938
Well, it's still
Quite simple.
325
00:13:57,938 --> 00:14:01,174
Tell him you said,
"Diane, I love you."
326
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:04,077
I said, "How very sad
For you." then--
327
00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:06,079
No, no. Whoa, whoa.
328
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,282
This was your
Stupid plan.
329
00:14:09,282 --> 00:14:10,951
Now, if I have
To be in love with you,
330
00:14:10,951 --> 00:14:12,419
Then you have to be
In love me.
331
00:14:12,419 --> 00:14:16,789
Oh, all right,
If it'll help frasier.
332
00:14:16,789 --> 00:14:17,824
Ok. So I love you,
333
00:14:17,824 --> 00:14:21,228
And you're gaga
Over me.
334
00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:23,496
"Gaga" makes it sound like
335
00:14:23,496 --> 00:14:25,966
I'm more in love with you
Than you are with me.
336
00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:27,634
If we're going to do this,
337
00:14:27,634 --> 00:14:31,704
I want to be only
As much in love with you
As you are with me.
338
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:35,042
Ok. I love you,
You love me.
339
00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:38,311
Now...The story.
340
00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:39,980
Mm-hmm.
341
00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:42,950
Ok, we went out
For chinese,
342
00:14:42,950 --> 00:14:44,384
Told each other
You know what,
343
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,954
And then we went
Back to my place
344
00:14:46,954 --> 00:14:49,089
And tore one off.
345
00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:55,095
Good lord.
What?
346
00:14:55,095 --> 00:14:57,264
Well, frasier knows I
Would never be seduced
347
00:14:57,264 --> 00:14:59,499
By such
A pedestrian approach.
348
00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:01,935
Hey, who said
Anything about walking?
349
00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:05,572
Come on, let me hear
Your suggestion.
350
00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:07,474
This ought to be
Good.
351
00:15:07,474 --> 00:15:09,376
Oh, how about this?
352
00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:12,212
Do you remember
That romantic hideaway
In marblehead,
353
00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:15,215
The one with
The fabulous seafood?
Yeah.
354
00:15:15,215 --> 00:15:19,319
Tell him we arrived
At sunset...
355
00:15:19,319 --> 00:15:22,022
The maitre d'--you
Better write this down.
356
00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:23,523
Oh, I like this.
357
00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:27,027
All right.
358
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:30,697
Sunset.
359
00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:32,165
We ask for our table.
360
00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:34,534
Right by
The big fireplace.
361
00:15:34,534 --> 00:15:36,769
With the ocean view.
362
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:40,340
Ok. Now, what
Did we eat?
363
00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:44,244
He's not going to
Ask you what we ate.
364
00:15:44,244 --> 00:15:47,180
Oh, we were
Too hungry to eat.
365
00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:50,183
Oh, that's good,
That's good.
366
00:15:50,183 --> 00:15:52,419
No, it's not good.
367
00:15:52,419 --> 00:15:54,921
No, you see, hungry
Usually means food.
Now, what I'm doing--
368
00:15:54,921 --> 00:15:58,258
No, I get it.
369
00:15:58,258 --> 00:16:01,228
It's just not good.
Erase that.
370
00:16:01,228 --> 00:16:04,231
All right, all right.
371
00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:10,937
Tell him
You were so filled
With passion
372
00:16:10,937 --> 00:16:14,074
That you pushed
The plates aside
And grabbed my hand.
373
00:16:14,074 --> 00:16:17,877
Filled...With passion.
374
00:16:17,877 --> 00:16:19,479
Then you say
375
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:22,149
What you brought me
Up there to tell me.
376
00:16:22,149 --> 00:16:24,184
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I love you.
377
00:16:24,184 --> 00:16:28,221
Sam, I think you
Can enhance it a bit.
378
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:34,494
Like...
"I love you, diane.
379
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:36,829
"I've always loved you,
And I always will
380
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:39,366
"Till the day I die."
381
00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:43,570
No. Not even the grave
Will diminish my love.
382
00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:48,808
Only--only make its
Flame burn brighter.
383
00:16:48,808 --> 00:16:51,611
Whatever.
384
00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:57,850
And of course
It's my turn.
385
00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,086
Yeah, right.
What do you say to me?
386
00:16:59,086 --> 00:17:01,388
I look you in
The eyes and I say,
387
00:17:01,388 --> 00:17:04,857
"You're not
So bad yourself."
388
00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,726
No, come on,
389
00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:11,131
After what I
Just said to you?
No, no.
390
00:17:11,131 --> 00:17:12,499
It's got to be more,
391
00:17:12,499 --> 00:17:15,335
Something like,
"I love you so much,
392
00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:17,237
"I can't stand it.
393
00:17:17,237 --> 00:17:18,971
"As far as
I'm concerned,
394
00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:21,441
"You're the only person
In the world that
Matters to me,
395
00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:24,111
"And I'd jump
At the chance
396
00:17:24,111 --> 00:17:26,646
To be your love slave."
397
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:34,254
Whatever.
398
00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:38,291
All right,
All right. Ok.
399
00:17:38,291 --> 00:17:40,026
So then we go upstairs.
400
00:17:40,026 --> 00:17:42,629
If you insist.
401
00:17:42,629 --> 00:17:45,632
We can leave the rest
To frasier's imagination.
402
00:17:45,632 --> 00:17:48,935
We're already up there.
I mean...
403
00:17:48,935 --> 00:17:50,737
The room's paid for.
404
00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:55,175
All right, all right.
I'll just build a fire.
405
00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:57,177
If you like.
406
00:17:57,177 --> 00:18:01,614
Yeah. Then...Go over
To the bed, and...
407
00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:04,917
I'll start nibbling
On your ear, yeah.
408
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,986
You always used
To love that.
409
00:18:06,986 --> 00:18:08,821
Oh, yeah.
410
00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:13,593
What do you mean,
"Oh, yeah"?
411
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:15,162
Oh, nothing.
412
00:18:15,162 --> 00:18:16,996
No, no, no. Come on,
What do you mean?
413
00:18:16,996 --> 00:18:18,565
Well, I don't suppose
It would do any harm
To tell you.
414
00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:20,433
As long as we're
On the subject,
415
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:23,703
I never particularly
Cared for that.
416
00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:30,243
Ear nibbles?
417
00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:32,379
Well, you sure
Seemed to.
418
00:18:32,379 --> 00:18:34,113
I didn't want
To upset you.
419
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:36,616
Male pride
And all that.
420
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:41,221
What else did you
Seem to enjoy?
421
00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:44,090
Everything else was fine.
422
00:18:44,090 --> 00:18:48,395
Just the ear nibbles
Were...Annoying.
423
00:18:50,096 --> 00:18:51,598
I'm only bringing this up
424
00:18:51,598 --> 00:18:54,100
Because there's no longer
Anything between us,
425
00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:55,335
And we've grown so.
426
00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:57,870
Yeah, yeah, grown.
427
00:18:57,870 --> 00:19:01,274
You know, while
We're on the
Subject here,
428
00:19:01,274 --> 00:19:03,176
Do you remember
That little yellow
Nightie
429
00:19:03,176 --> 00:19:04,544
You used to wear?
430
00:19:04,544 --> 00:19:07,214
As I recall,
I never wore it very long.
431
00:19:07,214 --> 00:19:09,115
You loved that nightie.
432
00:19:09,115 --> 00:19:11,751
No, no,
You just thought
I loved it.
433
00:19:11,751 --> 00:19:15,455
You didn't love it?
434
00:19:15,455 --> 00:19:18,291
It made you look
Like a big banana.
435
00:19:26,799 --> 00:19:30,537
It's good
That we can laugh
Like this, right?
436
00:19:35,775 --> 00:19:39,279
I can't believe
I paraded around
In that damn nightgown
437
00:19:39,279 --> 00:19:41,581
Thinking I
Was arousing you,
438
00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:43,716
And instead
I was amusing you.
439
00:19:43,716 --> 00:19:47,019
It wasn't amusing
That long.
440
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:49,622
After a while,
It got kind of sad.
441
00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:59,031
Why didn't you tell me?
442
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:01,734
Well, because
I know we'd get
In a fight,
443
00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:04,036
And you'd end up saying
That you hate me.
444
00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:05,938
Well, I do hate you,
Sam.
445
00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:07,707
Well, I hate you,
Diane.
446
00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:10,977
You're incapable
Of any originality.
447
00:20:10,977 --> 00:20:13,012
Now, you just said
You hate me
448
00:20:13,012 --> 00:20:14,747
Because
I said I hate you.
449
00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:17,350
All right, fine,
I'll change mine.
450
00:20:17,350 --> 00:20:18,651
Yours was,
"I hate you."
451
00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:21,588
Mine will be,
"I hate you!"
452
00:20:21,588 --> 00:20:24,123
Oh, great.
453
00:20:24,123 --> 00:20:27,327
And I just bought
Three italian suits.
454
00:20:27,327 --> 00:20:28,895
Oh, shut up, frasier!
455
00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:30,129
Sam,
What happened?
456
00:20:30,129 --> 00:20:32,632
The same thing
That always happens.
She's a nut.
457
00:20:32,632 --> 00:20:34,601
She's certifiably
Insane.
458
00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:37,136
Look, sam, is that any way
To talk to the woman
You love?
459
00:20:37,136 --> 00:20:38,805
Aw, come on,
Frasier,
460
00:20:38,805 --> 00:20:41,974
Let me fill you in
Here, pal.
I don't love diane.
461
00:20:41,974 --> 00:20:44,344
That was just part of
Her plan to make you
Feel better
462
00:20:44,344 --> 00:20:47,246
By making you think
That you'd cured me.
463
00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:50,883
I see.
464
00:20:50,883 --> 00:20:52,985
I'm sorry.
465
00:20:52,985 --> 00:20:56,155
Frasier, you were
Once a brilliant
Psychiatrist.
466
00:20:56,155 --> 00:21:00,660
We couldn't bear
Standing by, seeing you
Throw it all away.
467
00:21:00,660 --> 00:21:03,463
So this is what
It's come to.
468
00:21:03,463 --> 00:21:05,131
You were practicing deceit
469
00:21:05,131 --> 00:21:07,467
To get my
Confidence back.
470
00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:09,836
You took
Pity on me.
471
00:21:09,836 --> 00:21:12,372
You, of all people.
472
00:21:12,372 --> 00:21:15,808
Two of the most
Pitiful people I know.
473
00:21:15,808 --> 00:21:18,945
Hey, hey, she's
A lot more pitiful
Than I am.
474
00:21:18,945 --> 00:21:19,979
Sam.
475
00:21:19,979 --> 00:21:22,549
You're both pitiful!
I'm pitiful!
476
00:21:22,549 --> 00:21:27,253
We're all 3 a pitiful
Menage a boobs.
477
00:21:27,253 --> 00:21:28,588
Well, this boob
Is moving on.
478
00:21:28,588 --> 00:21:30,523
You two may not have
The courage to face it,
479
00:21:30,523 --> 00:21:31,691
But I finally do.
480
00:21:31,691 --> 00:21:33,526
Sam and diane,
You are now
481
00:21:33,526 --> 00:21:35,428
And have
Always been hopelessly in,
482
00:21:35,428 --> 00:21:37,930
I guess
The word for it is love,
483
00:21:37,930 --> 00:21:42,435
And unfortunately for you,
Like it or not, you always
Will be.
484
00:21:42,435 --> 00:21:44,270
I know! I know!
485
00:21:44,270 --> 00:21:46,072
Now you're going
To deny it!
486
00:21:46,072 --> 00:21:48,675
Even though it's
Ludicrously obvious
To everyone around you,
487
00:21:48,675 --> 00:21:50,276
You two are the ones pretending
That it's not true
488
00:21:50,276 --> 00:21:53,012
Because you're
Emotional infants!
489
00:21:53,012 --> 00:21:54,914
You're in a living hell!
490
00:21:54,914 --> 00:21:57,350
You love each other,
And you hate each other,
491
00:21:57,350 --> 00:21:59,085
And you hate yourselves
For loving each other.
492
00:21:59,085 --> 00:22:02,188
Well, my dear friends,
I want no part of it.
493
00:22:02,188 --> 00:22:05,257
It's time I just picked up
My life where I left off.
494
00:22:05,257 --> 00:22:10,897
It's time to
Put humpty dumpty
Back together again.
495
00:22:10,897 --> 00:22:12,632
So I'll get out
Of here now
496
00:22:12,632 --> 00:22:16,068
So you can just get on
With your denial-fest.
497
00:23:04,417 --> 00:23:06,819
Well?
498
00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:11,758
Well, what?
499
00:23:11,758 --> 00:23:14,427
What do you
Think about...
500
00:23:14,427 --> 00:23:16,128
What frasier said?
501
00:23:19,198 --> 00:23:21,400
Frasier's a pretty
Sharp guy.
502
00:23:27,206 --> 00:23:29,408
Well, we agree
On something.
503
00:23:32,945 --> 00:23:34,581
What's next?
504
00:23:38,250 --> 00:23:41,187
Well...If this
Is hell, I'm...
505
00:23:41,187 --> 00:23:43,656
I'm not that unhappy.
506
00:23:48,561 --> 00:23:51,831
Then we agree
On something else.
507
00:23:57,403 --> 00:23:59,472
Yeah.
508
00:24:02,408 --> 00:24:05,277
Hey, uh...
509
00:24:05,277 --> 00:24:09,148
I only said that
I didn't like
Your nightgown
510
00:24:09,148 --> 00:24:13,753
Because you said
You didn't like
My ear nibbles.
511
00:24:13,753 --> 00:24:16,255
Well, I would have liked
Your ear nibbles
512
00:24:16,255 --> 00:24:19,892
If you hadn't sounded
So much like a chipmunk.
513
00:24:23,596 --> 00:24:26,633
Well, I'd rather
Sound like a chipmunk
514
00:24:26,633 --> 00:24:29,135
Than look like a banana.
37096
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