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1
00:00:03,771 --> 00:00:06,207
Cheers is filmed before
A live studio audience.
2
00:00:09,577 --> 00:00:11,912
What can I get you?
3
00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:13,381
What have you got?
4
00:00:14,582 --> 00:00:16,016
Anything you want.
5
00:00:17,085 --> 00:00:20,188
I'll bet you do.
6
00:00:20,188 --> 00:00:21,989
Why don't you tell me?
7
00:00:21,989 --> 00:00:24,024
Maybe you'd like
To see a menu.
8
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:26,827
Nah, don't need one.
9
00:00:26,827 --> 00:00:30,098
I know what I want.
10
00:00:30,098 --> 00:00:33,701
We talking about
The same thing?
11
00:00:34,835 --> 00:00:36,404
I think so.
12
00:00:36,404 --> 00:00:40,674
Then maybe you'd
Like to whisper
What you want...
13
00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:42,443
In my ear.
14
00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:50,951
Scotch and soda?
15
00:00:50,951 --> 00:00:53,587
Ooh, he's toying
With me.
16
00:01:00,228 --> 00:01:02,596
* makin' your way
In the world today *
17
00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:05,699
* takes everything
You've got *
18
00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:08,202
* takin' a break
From all your worries *
19
00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:10,471
* sure would
Help a lot *
20
00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:14,808
* wouldn't you like
To get away *
21
00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:19,647
* sometimes
You wanna go *
22
00:01:19,647 --> 00:01:23,251
* where everybody
Knows your name *
23
00:01:24,852 --> 00:01:28,189
* and they're always
Glad you came *
24
00:01:29,557 --> 00:01:32,193
* you wanna be
Where you can see *
25
00:01:32,193 --> 00:01:34,862
* our troubles
Are all the same *
26
00:01:34,862 --> 00:01:36,063
* you wanna be *
27
00:01:36,063 --> 00:01:40,033
* where everybody
Knows your name *
28
00:01:40,033 --> 00:01:42,503
* you wanna go
Where people know *
29
00:01:42,503 --> 00:01:45,173
* people are
All the same *
30
00:01:45,173 --> 00:01:46,374
* you wanna go *
31
00:01:46,374 --> 00:01:50,110
* where everybody
Knows your name *
32
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:09,897
[cheering]
33
00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:13,901
Good lord, sam.
34
00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:16,837
Isn't this the tenth
Football game you've
Watched today?
35
00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:20,708
It only seems that way.
That's the beauty
Of football.
36
00:02:20,708 --> 00:02:23,244
Ahh, sundays.
37
00:02:23,244 --> 00:02:25,846
The incessant drone
Of the television,
38
00:02:25,846 --> 00:02:29,483
The stench of beer
And monosyllabic conversation.
39
00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:32,353
That's it,
Get into it, girl.
40
00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:37,591
Diane, listen, I dropped by
To give you a bit of news.
41
00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:41,061
I've decided
To go away for a while.
42
00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:43,697
I just want to
Collect my thoughts,
43
00:02:43,697 --> 00:02:46,867
See if things
Look brighter
From a new perspective.
44
00:02:46,867 --> 00:02:50,438
Frasier,
I think that's
Terrific news.
45
00:02:50,438 --> 00:02:52,240
A very
Positive step.
46
00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:53,407
I'm so happy
For you.
47
00:02:53,407 --> 00:02:55,609
Thank you. I'm happy
For myself.
48
00:02:56,577 --> 00:02:59,613
Oh, say,
Wait a second,
Diane.
49
00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:01,349
A crazy notion
Just jumped into
My head.
50
00:03:01,349 --> 00:03:03,083
I don't know where
It came from.
51
00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:05,753
But I was wondering
If you'd like
To come along.
52
00:03:06,954 --> 00:03:09,156
I mean, after all,
We do travel
Well together,
53
00:03:09,156 --> 00:03:12,493
And we have that
Matching luggage.
54
00:03:12,493 --> 00:03:13,694
Frasier,
I really don't think
55
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:16,997
That would be
A good idea at all.
56
00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:19,032
Of course.
57
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:21,435
I understand.
58
00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:22,970
Oh, diane, uh...
59
00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:25,506
I've been putting
Off telling you
Something,
60
00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:27,241
But I feel
I must now.
61
00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:30,578
You've been using
The word "Really"
Far too frequently.
62
00:03:30,578 --> 00:03:33,581
In fact, it's become
Really noticeable.
63
00:03:33,581 --> 00:03:36,417
It's really quite
Maddening, really.
64
00:03:38,286 --> 00:03:39,587
Frasier, I know
You're disappointed
65
00:03:39,587 --> 00:03:41,255
That I didn't accept
Your invitation,
66
00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:43,457
But I really--
I don't think
67
00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:46,494
That's any reason
To get on my case.
68
00:03:46,494 --> 00:03:48,362
"Get on my case."
69
00:03:48,362 --> 00:03:50,664
What a charming
Bit of slang.
70
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:54,368
Frasier, nitpicking
At my choice
71
00:03:54,368 --> 00:03:56,737
Of the correct
Modern english
72
00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:59,473
Does not make you
Any more attractive to me.
73
00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:01,542
If that is the purpose
In your visits here,
74
00:04:01,542 --> 00:04:03,377
Perhaps you should find
Another tavern
75
00:04:03,377 --> 00:04:05,346
In which to bore
The life out of the clientele.
76
00:04:06,414 --> 00:04:09,249
Oh, I'm so sorry
To disappoint you,
77
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,385
Miss god's gift to men.
78
00:04:11,385 --> 00:04:13,454
It just so happens
I come here
79
00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:15,556
To share the companionship
Of my male friends.
80
00:04:15,556 --> 00:04:18,626
So, men, what's on
The agenda tonight?
81
00:04:18,626 --> 00:04:20,160
Football.
Football.
82
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,430
Oh, good lord.
83
00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:24,898
I mean, rah!
84
00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:29,570
Using a colloquialism
To ingratiate yourself
With the rabble?
85
00:04:29,570 --> 00:04:33,841
How very sad.
How really very sad.
86
00:04:33,841 --> 00:04:37,077
Did you see
That bootleg by montana?
87
00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:39,347
The guy's unstoppable.
88
00:04:39,347 --> 00:04:42,215
Hey, woody, looks
Like you're gonna win
The bar pool today.
89
00:04:42,215 --> 00:04:43,417
Hey, the rams
Still have
A chance.
90
00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:44,752
And if they make
A comeback,
91
00:04:44,752 --> 00:04:45,953
I take the pool.
92
00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:48,021
Woody, if you
Win this,
93
00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:49,757
That's gonna make
Three weeks straight
94
00:04:49,757 --> 00:04:51,258
You've been
In the money.
95
00:04:51,258 --> 00:04:53,761
Yeah, yeah, I guess
I'm on a streak.
96
00:04:53,761 --> 00:04:55,963
You know, I've always
Been a lucky guy.
97
00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:58,031
Back home I won a haircut.
98
00:05:01,569 --> 00:05:03,571
What the heck
Kind of contest
Was that?
99
00:05:03,571 --> 00:05:05,506
Well, it wasn't really
A contest.
100
00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:07,174
It was just policy.
101
00:05:07,174 --> 00:05:08,409
See, if the barber
Nicks your ear,
102
00:05:08,409 --> 00:05:10,511
You get a free haircut.
103
00:05:13,347 --> 00:05:15,082
I think
Schopenhauer put it aptly
104
00:05:15,082 --> 00:05:18,185
When he said, "Noise
Is the most contemptuous
105
00:05:18,185 --> 00:05:20,153
Of all forms
Of interruption."
106
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,255
Impertinent!
107
00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:23,457
Excuse me?
108
00:05:23,457 --> 00:05:26,460
What you were
Trying to say was,
109
00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:29,262
"Noise is the
Most impertinent
110
00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:31,632
Of all forms
Of interruption."
111
00:05:31,632 --> 00:05:33,901
She said
"Contemptuous."
Can you believe that?
112
00:05:33,901 --> 00:05:37,771
I thought
I'd have a conniption.
113
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:41,475
I want you to stop
This quibbling at once.
114
00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:44,144
We're the only 2 entities
Of any discernible intellect
In this place.
115
00:05:44,144 --> 00:05:46,313
It is our duty
To set an example
For the others.
116
00:05:46,313 --> 00:05:50,350
You're only saying that
Because you know I'm
Smarter than you are.
117
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,119
[scoffs]
118
00:05:52,119 --> 00:05:54,488
This from a man who
Mispronounced remoulade
At his dinner party.
119
00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:56,924
Diane, I am fed up
With the remoulade
Incident!
120
00:05:56,924 --> 00:05:58,759
[both yelling]
121
00:05:58,759 --> 00:06:00,928
Hey, hey, would you two
Cut it out?
122
00:06:00,928 --> 00:06:04,164
You're drowning out
A perfectly good
Tire commercial.
123
00:06:04,164 --> 00:06:05,966
[whistle blows]
124
00:06:08,235 --> 00:06:10,471
Yep, there's the final.
125
00:06:10,471 --> 00:06:13,340
Looks like
You won, woodrow.
126
00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:15,543
Thank you very much.
127
00:06:15,543 --> 00:06:17,445
I want you to know
I couldn't have done it
Without all you guys
128
00:06:17,445 --> 00:06:21,181
Because...Well,
This is your money.
129
00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:23,183
Here you go,
75 big ones.
130
00:06:23,183 --> 00:06:25,285
Paul, second place, 25.
131
00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:28,656
You did good, kid,
But I still think I got
A more reliable system.
132
00:06:28,656 --> 00:06:30,390
Yeah? I could
Really use one.
What's yours?
133
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:33,494
I just bet opposite
Of whatever you pick.
134
00:06:35,295 --> 00:06:39,032
So, woody, what's
This system you got
Up your sleeve?
135
00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:40,468
Yeah, woody?
136
00:06:40,468 --> 00:06:42,002
I don't actually have one.
137
00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:44,572
I just kind of
Look at the picks,
And one team jumps out.
138
00:06:44,572 --> 00:06:48,542
He's got it down
To a science.
139
00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:49,777
Imagine how much
You would have made
140
00:06:49,777 --> 00:06:50,978
If you'd parlayed
Some of those bets.
141
00:06:50,978 --> 00:06:52,379
What's that mean?
142
00:06:52,379 --> 00:06:55,015
That's when you bet
A series of games
With a bookie.
143
00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:58,051
You got to win them all,
So the odds are pretty long.
144
00:06:58,051 --> 00:07:00,187
Well,
Do you guys know
A real bookie?
145
00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:04,091
I got a friend
Who's got a friend
Who's got a friend.
146
00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:05,559
And he's a bookie?
147
00:07:05,559 --> 00:07:08,929
No, but
His friend is.
148
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:11,732
Wow! You know, if I bet
With a bookie,
149
00:07:11,732 --> 00:07:15,135
I'd have something to
Tell my grandchildren.
150
00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:16,837
Sam...
151
00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:18,539
I don't think you
Should encourage woody
152
00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:20,808
To pursue
Illegal activities.
153
00:07:20,808 --> 00:07:22,910
Oh, lighten up,
Will you, diane?
154
00:07:22,910 --> 00:07:24,778
It's part of a guy's
Passage into maturity,
155
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:28,949
You know
Like going to a cathouse
Or whizzing off a balcony...
156
00:07:30,818 --> 00:07:34,354
Mooning out of
The back of a car.
157
00:07:34,354 --> 00:07:37,858
Or on a really
Good night, all three.
158
00:07:39,426 --> 00:07:42,029
Ah, yes,
The triple.
159
00:07:44,364 --> 00:07:45,599
Why don't we...
160
00:07:45,599 --> 00:07:47,100
Yeah, good idea.
161
00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:51,972
I got the schedule for
Next week's games here.
162
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:55,042
Anything jumping out
At you?
163
00:07:55,042 --> 00:07:58,646
Yeah! These are the strongest
Feelings I've had yet.
164
00:07:58,646 --> 00:08:00,648
What do you got?
What's up?
165
00:08:00,648 --> 00:08:02,349
All right, um...
166
00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:04,952
Indianapolis, tampa bay...
167
00:08:04,952 --> 00:08:06,920
Buffalo just hit me
Right in the eye.
168
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:10,490
Yeah, I'll bet.
What's so funny?
169
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:14,361
Those teams you picked
Are long shots.
170
00:08:14,361 --> 00:08:16,296
He doesn't even know
The point spreads are.
Come on.
171
00:08:16,296 --> 00:08:17,598
What difference
Does that make?
172
00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:19,099
I haven't looked
At point spreads all year.
173
00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:24,037
Sam, I'd like to bet
These teams with your bookie.
174
00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:25,272
Ok. All right,
175
00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:27,307
How much do you
Want to put down,
20, 30 bucks?
176
00:08:27,307 --> 00:08:29,109
$1,000.
177
00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:31,879
You own $1,000?
178
00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:35,115
Yes, ma'am.
It's all my savings.
179
00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:38,185
Woody, I'm not gonna
Let you throw away all
Your money on gambling.
180
00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:39,653
Yeah, woody,
All that money
On one shot,
181
00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:41,321
You gotta be nuts.
182
00:08:41,321 --> 00:08:44,291
Yeah, why don't you
Sit down and give it
A little thought.
183
00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:48,328
I've been observing
What's been going on
Over here,
184
00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:50,864
And I have
Something to say.
185
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:53,000
Listen up here,
Woody.
186
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:55,502
Do you realize
That in the course
Of the evening,
187
00:08:55,502 --> 00:08:58,639
Diane has made
17 errors
188
00:08:58,639 --> 00:09:01,141
In the areas of grammar...
189
00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:03,877
Etiquette...
190
00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:05,913
And statement of fact?
191
00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:09,016
Frasier...
192
00:09:09,016 --> 00:09:11,451
Your pedantry
Is insufferable.
193
00:09:11,451 --> 00:09:13,153
And you suck eggs!
194
00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:15,555
All right, sam,
I've thought about it.
195
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,725
And I've decided
I definitely want
To make the bet.
196
00:09:17,725 --> 00:09:19,426
No, you don't.
Think some more.
197
00:09:19,426 --> 00:09:22,029
Well, I'm the one
Who's been winning the pools.
198
00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:25,933
Hey, you know what I think?
You think I'm some dumb hick
199
00:09:25,933 --> 00:09:28,201
Who can't make it
On his own in the big city.
200
00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:31,672
No. I don't. I just think
It's a dumb bet.
Case closed, woody.
201
00:09:31,672 --> 00:09:34,675
But it's my money,
And I'm willing
To take the risk.
202
00:09:34,675 --> 00:09:37,444
Woody, I can dig up
A bookie somewhere.
203
00:09:37,444 --> 00:09:38,646
I'll make
The bet for you.
204
00:09:38,646 --> 00:09:40,714
Woody, I'll make
The bet for you.
205
00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:43,016
Might as well
Keep it in
The family.
206
00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:44,618
Sam.
207
00:09:44,618 --> 00:09:46,353
No, you heard him.
208
00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:49,256
It's his decision.
It's his money.
He's a grownup.
209
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:50,724
Where's your money?
210
00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:52,192
Thanks, sam.
211
00:09:55,162 --> 00:09:57,898
Come on, man, don't
Tell me you keep your
Money in your shoe.
212
00:09:57,898 --> 00:10:01,001
Boy, you guys
Really do think
213
00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:03,671
I just fell off
The turnip truck.
214
00:10:03,671 --> 00:10:05,005
This is where
I keep the map
215
00:10:05,005 --> 00:10:08,141
Of where the money's
Buried in my backyard.
216
00:10:22,890 --> 00:10:24,191
Hey, is that him?
217
00:10:24,191 --> 00:10:25,893
Yeah, I think it is.
218
00:10:25,893 --> 00:10:27,695
* for he's
A jolly good fellow *
219
00:10:27,695 --> 00:10:30,497
* for he's
A jolly good fellow *
220
00:10:30,497 --> 00:10:31,865
Aw.
Aw.
Aw.
221
00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:34,902
Good to see you all, too.
222
00:10:34,902 --> 00:10:36,937
Sorry, sammy,
We thought
You were woody.
223
00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:39,673
Yeah, can you believe it?
The kid actually
Hit his parlay.
224
00:10:39,673 --> 00:10:40,841
Yeah, I know.
225
00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:43,210
That's fantastic,
Isn't it?
226
00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:45,045
So what is this?
What are you guys doing?
227
00:10:45,045 --> 00:10:46,780
We're planning
A celebration
228
00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:49,216
In honor
Of woody's
Good fortune.
229
00:10:49,216 --> 00:10:50,583
Ah, a celebration?
230
00:10:50,583 --> 00:10:53,721
You mean like
Food, music, drinks?
That kind of thing?
231
00:10:53,721 --> 00:10:54,955
Yeah, well, we're not
Providing any of that,
232
00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:56,690
But we're hoping
Mr. Moneybags
233
00:10:56,690 --> 00:10:58,325
Will spring for that
When he gets here.
234
00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:00,627
I don't think it's
Such a good idea
235
00:11:00,627 --> 00:11:02,062
To make a big deal
Out of this.
236
00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:05,332
You'd just be encouraging him
To gamble more.
237
00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:07,300
He won
10,000 bucks.
238
00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:09,269
What more
Encouragement
Does he need?
239
00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:10,771
Oh, fine.
240
00:11:10,771 --> 00:11:12,439
Yay!
Yay!
Yay!
241
00:11:12,439 --> 00:11:14,207
Thanks a lot, guys.
242
00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:15,408
Hey, but guess what.
243
00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:17,277
I've got
Some great news.
244
00:11:17,277 --> 00:11:19,446
I won that parlay.
245
00:11:21,782 --> 00:11:24,617
We know, woody.
Congratulations.
246
00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:26,720
Thanks, miss chambers.
247
00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:29,289
So, sam, did my money
Get here yet?
248
00:11:29,289 --> 00:11:31,391
No, not yet. They'll be
Bringing it by
Pretty soon.
249
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:33,160
As a matter of fact,
I'll make a call
Right now.
250
00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:34,962
Carla, why don't you
Start that celebration
Here.
251
00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:38,098
Hi, everybody.
252
00:11:39,332 --> 00:11:42,402
Diane, listen,
I'm here to tell you
253
00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:45,305
That I've just spent the most
Painful week of my entire life.
254
00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:49,209
I was ice fishing
In subzero degree
Temperatures in nova scotia.
255
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:50,944
I don't think I could
Have stood it for
Another minute,
256
00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:53,180
But it was worth it
257
00:11:53,180 --> 00:11:55,682
Because every iota
Of pettiness in me
258
00:11:55,682 --> 00:11:57,650
Was left back
On that frozen tundra.
259
00:11:57,650 --> 00:12:02,856
So I'm here just to ask you
To please forgive me.
260
00:12:04,457 --> 00:12:05,826
Apology accepted.
261
00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:08,528
Incomplete sentence.
262
00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:10,764
Oh, my god!
263
00:12:10,764 --> 00:12:12,900
I hope
They're still biting.
264
00:12:18,505 --> 00:12:21,208
What's this?
265
00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:22,810
"Please..."
266
00:12:22,810 --> 00:12:24,311
Something.
267
00:12:24,311 --> 00:12:26,346
Please
Get in here!
268
00:12:28,816 --> 00:12:32,019
Sam, is this an "M"
Or a double "N"?
269
00:12:32,019 --> 00:12:35,155
Will you forget about--
Sit down, will you?
270
00:12:35,155 --> 00:12:37,958
I'm in big,
Big trouble.
271
00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:42,629
I did something
That felt so right
When I did it,
272
00:12:42,629 --> 00:12:46,033
But now it turns out
To be all wrong.
273
00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:51,905
What's her name,
And how many months?
274
00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:57,544
I never placed woody's bet.
275
00:12:57,544 --> 00:13:01,514
Oh, my god!
276
00:13:02,749 --> 00:13:05,552
Sam, for the first
Time in your life,
277
00:13:05,552 --> 00:13:07,687
You had
The right intentions,
278
00:13:07,687 --> 00:13:11,224
And it still
Blew up in your face.
279
00:13:11,224 --> 00:13:14,161
It was such
A stupid bet.
280
00:13:14,161 --> 00:13:16,363
I was just trying
To protect him.
281
00:13:16,363 --> 00:13:17,865
What am I gonna do?
282
00:13:17,865 --> 00:13:20,300
I don't have $10,000.
283
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,035
Oh, dear.
284
00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:28,608
Well, we know that
Woody actually did pick
285
00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:30,277
The winning teams.
286
00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:31,912
Yeah?
287
00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:33,580
So?
So...
288
00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:35,148
Why don't you
Go to the...
289
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:36,884
Bookie...
Bookie...
290
00:13:36,884 --> 00:13:38,785
And tell him
That you honestly
Intended
291
00:13:38,785 --> 00:13:41,221
To wager
On those teams,
292
00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:44,824
And see if
He won't give you
The money.
293
00:13:45,993 --> 00:13:47,427
That's a good idea.
294
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:49,362
While I'm at it,
Why don't I just tell him
295
00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:53,166
That I meant to bet
On all on all winning
Teams since 1975.
296
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:56,736
Can you do that?
Please!
297
00:13:56,736 --> 00:14:00,707
Well, sam, why don't I just
Sound woody out for you?
298
00:14:00,707 --> 00:14:02,142
There's always
The possibility
299
00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:05,845
That the money isn't
Important to him.
300
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,680
Yeah, maybe not.
301
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:08,882
That's a good idea.
302
00:14:08,882 --> 00:14:10,083
Oh, thank you!
303
00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:11,885
Sam, by the way,
304
00:14:11,885 --> 00:14:14,054
Thank you for
Coming to me
For advice.
305
00:14:14,054 --> 00:14:16,924
I'm touched.
306
00:14:16,924 --> 00:14:19,392
Well, if this works out,
You will be.
307
00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:25,332
Sam, the guy still didn't
Show up with the money.
308
00:14:25,332 --> 00:14:26,799
He is going to
Give it to me, isn't he?
309
00:14:26,799 --> 00:14:29,569
Of course he will.
No bookie would
Welsh on a bet.
310
00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:32,139
He'd be the lowest
Spitwad on earth.
311
00:14:32,139 --> 00:14:35,842
Actually murderers
Are lower.
312
00:14:35,842 --> 00:14:39,579
You know, back home
We take welshers, rub
Them with bacon fat,
313
00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:43,183
And throw them in the sty
With romeo, the friendly hog.
314
00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:45,485
Well,
Gee whiz...
315
00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:48,121
Woody, why don't
You and I have a chat?
316
00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:49,822
Sure, miss chambers.
317
00:14:49,822 --> 00:14:52,325
There's a table
Right over here.
318
00:14:57,998 --> 00:15:00,467
Woody...
319
00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:03,570
I want to speak
Metaphysically.
320
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:06,439
And you need money
For the language lessons?
321
00:15:06,439 --> 00:15:07,975
No problem.
322
00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:11,979
Let's start again.
323
00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:16,116
What I'm talking about
Is the meaning of money.
324
00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:18,018
What is it worth?
325
00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:21,754
It can't buy love.
It can't buy friends.
It can't buy happiness.
326
00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:24,457
You're right,
And I already have
All those things.
327
00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:26,093
So in fact,
You have everything.
328
00:15:26,093 --> 00:15:27,427
It wouldn't matter
329
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,162
If you never got
That money at all.
330
00:15:30,797 --> 00:15:32,099
Oh, you're serious?
331
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:37,037
I'm sorry, miss chambers.
332
00:15:37,037 --> 00:15:41,441
You see,
It's just that my family
Never had a lot of money.
333
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:44,978
Still, my folks were always
Making sacrifices
For us kids,
334
00:15:44,978 --> 00:15:47,247
Especially my mom.
335
00:15:47,247 --> 00:15:49,482
I remember something
She used to say to me.
336
00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:52,652
She'd say, "Woody,
Hold on to your dream.
337
00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:58,825
I lost mine, but I want yours
To come true."
338
00:15:58,825 --> 00:16:03,763
It always made me sad
To think of what mom
Gave up for us.
339
00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:07,100
What was
Your mom's dream?
340
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:10,670
To be a drummer
In a power trio.
341
00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:15,308
Her big hero was
Ginger baker in cream.
342
00:16:16,776 --> 00:16:19,079
Whenever we'd walk
By the music store
In town,
343
00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:23,416
She'd just stare and stare
At the ludwigs in the window.
344
00:16:23,416 --> 00:16:26,486
Even though she was
Standing in front of
Keller's music,
345
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,788
But in her head,
She was up on some stage
346
00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:32,325
Banging out the solo
On "Toad."
347
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:33,893
Must've been tough
348
00:16:33,893 --> 00:16:36,596
To go back
To breading cutlets.
349
00:16:36,596 --> 00:16:38,998
Now she's going
To get those drums.
350
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,267
And with heavy metal
Coming back,
351
00:16:40,267 --> 00:16:43,836
Who knows
What might happen?
352
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:46,073
Bless you, woody.
353
00:16:46,073 --> 00:16:47,740
Bless you,
Miss chambers.
354
00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:55,982
How did it go?
355
00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:58,285
Not well.
356
00:17:00,087 --> 00:17:02,922
Sam, I feel
Utterly defeated.
357
00:17:02,922 --> 00:17:04,991
You came to me
As a friend
358
00:17:04,991 --> 00:17:06,593
Asking for my advice,
359
00:17:06,593 --> 00:17:09,096
And I let you down.
360
00:17:09,096 --> 00:17:10,630
I know.
361
00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:14,734
Is there anything
I can do to help you
362
00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:17,670
In this time of crisis?
363
00:17:17,670 --> 00:17:19,106
Not dressed.
364
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:31,618
Sam, maybe you ought
To call the bookie again.
365
00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:35,488
Sit down.
Will ya?
366
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:41,328
Woody, you know
That old expression,
367
00:17:41,328 --> 00:17:44,797
"When you win a bet,
You never get paid
For eight days"?
368
00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:46,032
No, but I like it.
369
00:17:46,032 --> 00:17:48,835
Well, it's an old
Irish expression,
370
00:17:48,835 --> 00:17:52,239
Which is probably why
The bookie hasn't shown up yet.
371
00:17:52,239 --> 00:17:55,942
But you know what,
It gives you an opportunity
372
00:17:55,942 --> 00:17:58,611
To do some
Financial planning.
373
00:17:58,611 --> 00:18:00,213
Financial planning?
374
00:18:00,213 --> 00:18:01,881
Yeah, you know,
Like spreading out
The payments
375
00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:03,216
Over a period of time,
376
00:18:03,216 --> 00:18:04,884
Just like they do
With the lottery winners.
377
00:18:04,884 --> 00:18:06,119
Lottery winners?
378
00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:09,556
Yeah. Listen,
Here's my plan.
379
00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:12,225
Now, I'll keep
The $10,000 for you,
380
00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:14,194
And I'll give you,
Well, let's say,
381
00:18:14,194 --> 00:18:16,363
$1.00 a week
For 10,000 weeks.
382
00:18:16,363 --> 00:18:19,432
Or maybe the deluxe plan,
You know--
383
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:21,768
2 bucks for 5,000 weeks.
384
00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:23,336
What do you say?
385
00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:25,405
That's a tough choice.
386
00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:30,042
But I think I'll stick
To the whole thing
At once.
387
00:18:30,042 --> 00:18:31,444
You're kidding me!
388
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:34,314
You're missing
The obvious benefit
389
00:18:34,314 --> 00:18:36,249
Of spreading out
The tax burden.
390
00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:37,317
Am I right, norm?
391
00:18:37,317 --> 00:18:39,051
Oh, yeah, great plan.
392
00:18:39,051 --> 00:18:42,255
You'll be happy
You did it when you
Reach the age of 412.
393
00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:49,762
Let's talk, woody.
394
00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:51,731
Come on.
395
00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:57,404
Sit down, woody.
396
00:18:59,439 --> 00:19:00,640
I've been
Trying to think
397
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,409
Of an easy way
Of saying this.
398
00:19:02,409 --> 00:19:05,111
I don't think
There is any.
399
00:19:05,111 --> 00:19:09,216
I never placed your
Bet with my bookie.
400
00:19:09,216 --> 00:19:10,883
Here's
Your $1,000 back.
401
00:19:16,289 --> 00:19:19,226
You never
Placed the bet?
402
00:19:19,226 --> 00:19:22,962
No. I, uh...
I was trying
To take care of you
403
00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:25,765
The way coach used
To take care of me.
404
00:19:25,765 --> 00:19:27,500
And it worked out
About as well, too,
405
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,469
Which scares
The hell out of me.
406
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,418
Sam.
407
00:19:47,487 --> 00:19:49,356
I want to thank you.
408
00:19:49,356 --> 00:19:52,459
You're welcome.
409
00:19:52,459 --> 00:19:55,295
Wait a second here.
410
00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:57,730
Why aren't you
Going crazy?
411
00:19:57,730 --> 00:19:59,065
'cause it's
The nicest thing
412
00:19:59,065 --> 00:20:01,000
That anyone
Ever did for me.
413
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,802
Are you kidding me?
414
00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:05,305
I mean,
Not only did I not
Make the bet,
415
00:20:05,305 --> 00:20:06,406
I lied about it.
416
00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:09,041
Woody, you should
Be going crazy.
417
00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:11,844
It was for
My own good, sam.
418
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:15,181
Look, come on, man.
419
00:20:15,181 --> 00:20:17,517
Don't do this to me.
420
00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:22,522
You're out $10,000
Because of me.
421
00:20:22,522 --> 00:20:25,425
You couldn't have known
How it was gonna turn out.
422
00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:27,527
You thought
I was going to lose.
423
00:20:27,527 --> 00:20:28,795
No,
Wait a second.
424
00:20:28,795 --> 00:20:30,530
What difference
Does that make?
425
00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:34,000
Come on, I cheated you
Out of $10,000.
426
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,368
I mean, who do I
Think I am?
427
00:20:35,368 --> 00:20:37,103
You should
Want to kill me, woody!
428
00:20:37,103 --> 00:20:38,838
It happened. I really
Don't see the point
In getting angry.
429
00:20:38,838 --> 00:20:40,473
Aw, now, you're
Not being honest.
430
00:20:40,473 --> 00:20:43,310
Now, down deep,
You're mad.
You know you are.
431
00:20:43,310 --> 00:20:44,477
Maybe I am
Just a little.
432
00:20:44,477 --> 00:20:48,348
No! You mean, "Hell, yes,
I am, sam!"
433
00:20:48,348 --> 00:20:49,716
It's still
The nicest thing
434
00:20:49,716 --> 00:20:52,452
That anyone
Ever did for me.
435
00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:54,621
You're a great
Man, sam.
436
00:20:54,621 --> 00:20:57,590
Oh, man,
You're hopeless.
437
00:20:58,491 --> 00:20:59,859
Go on,
Get out of here.
438
00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:02,995
At least
Let me feel like
A jerk in private.
439
00:21:04,397 --> 00:21:07,066
Sure, sam.
440
00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:08,234
I'm sorry.
441
00:21:08,234 --> 00:21:09,869
No, don't say--
442
00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:17,510
Sam.
What?
443
00:21:17,510 --> 00:21:19,579
I can't stand to
See you like this.
444
00:21:19,579 --> 00:21:21,381
Would it make
You feel better
445
00:21:21,381 --> 00:21:23,383
If I took
The dollar a week?
446
00:21:30,823 --> 00:21:33,760
Come on, man,
A dollar a week
Is meaningless.
447
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:36,696
How about
A dollar a week
And a raise?
448
00:21:36,696 --> 00:21:39,332
Nice gesture.
Not good enough.
449
00:21:39,332 --> 00:21:41,401
Ok.
450
00:21:41,401 --> 00:21:44,371
How about a dollar
A week, a raise...
451
00:21:44,371 --> 00:21:47,374
And your corvette?
452
00:21:52,244 --> 00:21:54,381
My car?
453
00:21:54,381 --> 00:21:57,950
Not a chance.
454
00:21:57,950 --> 00:22:02,221
Why not?
Don't be ridiculous.
It's my car.
455
00:22:02,221 --> 00:22:05,257
But you owe me $10,000.
456
00:22:05,257 --> 00:22:07,126
I don't care.
457
00:22:07,126 --> 00:22:08,861
I mean, it's my car.
458
00:22:08,861 --> 00:22:10,797
You just said you wanted
To make it up to me.
459
00:22:10,797 --> 00:22:14,033
We're talking
About my car, woody!
460
00:22:14,033 --> 00:22:15,835
I see.
461
00:22:15,835 --> 00:22:18,805
You say you're sorry,
You say you care,
462
00:22:18,805 --> 00:22:20,673
But when it
Comes down to it,
463
00:22:20,673 --> 00:22:22,108
It's just a lot
Of lip motion.
464
00:22:22,108 --> 00:22:23,410
No.
465
00:22:23,410 --> 00:22:25,011
Well,
I think that stinks!
466
00:22:25,011 --> 00:22:26,112
That's good.
467
00:22:26,112 --> 00:22:28,114
You're nothing but
A selfish, lying creep!
468
00:22:28,114 --> 00:22:29,916
That's good.
That's good.
You're angry.
469
00:22:29,916 --> 00:22:32,819
You bet I am!
I'm gonna go pack my bags.
470
00:22:32,819 --> 00:22:35,788
Wait! Wait
A second. What
Do you mean?
471
00:22:35,788 --> 00:22:37,524
You're my boss,
And I yelled at you.
472
00:22:37,524 --> 00:22:39,459
I can't stick around.
473
00:22:41,594 --> 00:22:44,196
Woody, that was just
A little yelling.
474
00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:45,698
That doesn't
Mean anything.
475
00:22:45,698 --> 00:22:47,534
I know, but I've never
Yelled at anybody
476
00:22:47,534 --> 00:22:49,436
Like that before
In my life.
477
00:22:49,436 --> 00:22:51,003
We can't be friends
Anymore.
478
00:22:51,003 --> 00:22:52,138
Woody, come on,
Woody,
479
00:22:52,138 --> 00:22:54,741
Friends yell
At each other.
It's ok.
480
00:22:54,741 --> 00:22:56,509
Coach and I
Used to fight
All the time,
481
00:22:56,509 --> 00:22:58,511
But we were
Good friends.
482
00:22:58,511 --> 00:22:59,912
Really?
Yeah.
483
00:22:59,912 --> 00:23:03,149
As a matter of fact,
It made us closer
Sometimes.
484
00:23:03,149 --> 00:23:04,417
Oh, sure.
485
00:23:04,417 --> 00:23:06,018
No, I'm serious.
486
00:23:06,018 --> 00:23:07,920
Come here,
Come here.
487
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:10,523
Listen, coach was
A great peacemaker.
488
00:23:10,523 --> 00:23:11,824
He had
This little trick.
489
00:23:11,824 --> 00:23:13,960
He'd, uh, you know,
After a big fight,
490
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:16,696
He'd make us
Put our arms
Around each other
491
00:23:16,696 --> 00:23:19,966
And sing
Home, home on the range.
492
00:23:19,966 --> 00:23:22,368
I know. Sounds
Pretty silly, huh?
493
00:23:22,368 --> 00:23:24,403
Yeah.
494
00:23:24,403 --> 00:23:26,939
Well, uh...
Do it for me, anyway.
495
00:23:26,939 --> 00:23:29,141
Come on, woody.
496
00:23:29,141 --> 00:23:31,143
Come on.
497
00:23:31,143 --> 00:23:33,312
Yeah, there you go.
498
00:23:33,312 --> 00:23:38,851
Coach used
To start me out on
The first few notes.
499
00:23:38,851 --> 00:23:42,154
* oh, give me
A home *
500
00:23:42,154 --> 00:23:45,492
* where the buffalo roam *
501
00:23:45,492 --> 00:23:49,896
* and the deer
And the antelope play *
502
00:23:49,896 --> 00:23:51,097
How long are
We gonna sing
This?
503
00:23:51,097 --> 00:23:52,699
Half an hour.
504
00:23:52,699 --> 00:23:54,501
Coach said that if
You could sing home on
The range with a man
505
00:23:54,501 --> 00:23:58,270
For half an hour,
You couldn't possibly
Hold a grudge.
506
00:23:58,270 --> 00:24:01,541
* where seldom is heard *
507
00:24:01,541 --> 00:24:04,811
* a discouraging word *
508
00:24:04,811 --> 00:24:10,216
* and the skies
Are not cloudy all day *
509
00:24:10,216 --> 00:24:11,518
You feeling better?
510
00:24:11,518 --> 00:24:13,019
I still want
Your car.
511
00:24:13,019 --> 00:24:16,756
* home, home
On the range *
512
00:24:16,756 --> 00:24:20,727
* where the deer
And the antelope play *
513
00:24:20,727 --> 00:24:22,428
Coach's old trick.
514
00:24:22,428 --> 00:24:24,864
Oh, good.
Everything's ok.
515
00:24:24,864 --> 00:24:27,033
* ...A discouraging word *
516
00:24:27,033 --> 00:24:31,704
* and the skies
Are not cloudy all day *
517
00:24:31,704 --> 00:24:35,274
* home, home
On the range *
37126
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