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1
00:00:01,335 --> 00:00:04,172
"And his eyes
Have all the seeming
2
00:00:04,205 --> 00:00:07,408
"Of a demon's
That is dreaming,
3
00:00:07,441 --> 00:00:10,111
"And the lamplight
O'er him streaming
4
00:00:10,144 --> 00:00:12,413
"Throws his shadow
On the floor
5
00:00:12,446 --> 00:00:15,416
"And my soul
From out that shadow
6
00:00:15,449 --> 00:00:17,485
"That lies floating
On the floor
7
00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:22,456
Shall be lifted--
Nevermore!"
8
00:00:22,490 --> 00:00:23,524
Mmm!
Oh!
9
00:00:23,557 --> 00:00:26,494
Boy,
Doc, you tell
Great stories.
10
00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:28,329
That...Was poe.
11
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,464
Don't be modest.
It was great!
12
00:00:33,201 --> 00:00:36,470
So, who's next
To chill us with
A scary story, eh?
13
00:00:36,504 --> 00:00:39,340
Well, I think
I have a chilling tale.
14
00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:41,209
Yeah, but it's cute
When you wiggle it.
15
00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:48,149
I got the greatest
Ghost story ever told.
16
00:00:48,182 --> 00:00:50,151
Now, it seems that
Casper got caught in
17
00:00:50,184 --> 00:00:52,553
This huge laundry basket
Full of sheets.
18
00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:55,789
Don't finish it, coach.
Some of us want to be able
To sleep tonight.
19
00:00:55,823 --> 00:00:58,459
Yeah,
You're right, carla.
20
00:00:58,492 --> 00:01:00,628
It's best that
I live with it myself.
21
00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:04,332
My god,
What a horrible sight!
22
00:01:04,365 --> 00:01:05,699
Speaking of
Horrible sights,
Coach,
23
00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:07,501
Take a look at...
This!
24
00:01:07,535 --> 00:01:08,336
Aah!
25
00:01:17,145 --> 00:01:19,413
Gary portnoy:
* makin' your way
In the world today *
26
00:01:19,447 --> 00:01:22,416
* takes everything
You've got *
27
00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:25,253
* takin' a break
From all your worries *
28
00:01:25,286 --> 00:01:28,556
* sure would help
A lot *
29
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:34,462
* wouldn't you like
To get away? *
30
00:01:34,495 --> 00:01:36,530
* sometimes
You wanna go *
31
00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:39,233
* where everybody
Knows your name *
32
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:44,538
* and they're always
Glad you came *
33
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,742
* you wanna be
Where you can see *
34
00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:51,445
* our troubles
Are all the same *
35
00:01:51,479 --> 00:01:56,750
* you wanna be where
Everybody knows your name *
36
00:01:56,784 --> 00:01:59,620
* you wanna go
Where people know *
37
00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:02,490
* people are
All the same *
38
00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:05,593
* you wanna go where
Everybody knows your name *
39
00:02:25,246 --> 00:02:27,348
Two vodka rocks
With a twist.
40
00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:28,516
Well, frasier,
41
00:02:28,549 --> 00:02:31,419
Didn't I tell you
That halloween at
Cheers would be fun?
42
00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:33,787
Yes, but
I won't hold it
Against you.
43
00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:35,623
Listen, I was able to get
Those 2 tickets
44
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:36,757
For the boston pops
Tomorrow night.
45
00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:38,526
Oh, wonderful!
46
00:02:38,559 --> 00:02:40,461
Oh, you guys are
Going to the boston
Pops, huh?
47
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:41,629
Oof, I'm jealous.
48
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:42,896
You sound like
A fan, sam.
49
00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:44,031
Oh, yeah.
50
00:02:44,064 --> 00:02:47,535
Actually, the boston pops
Was the one cultural event
51
00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:51,472
Albeit heavily sugar-coated,
That sam genuinely liked.
52
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:54,508
Yeah, yeah.
I especially liked
The, uh...
53
00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:56,477
"18-somethingth overture."
54
00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:57,711
1812.
55
00:02:57,745 --> 00:03:01,615
Hey, you really
Know your stuff.
Yeah.
56
00:03:01,649 --> 00:03:04,552
You know,
Till diane dragged me
To that concert,
57
00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:06,954
I never realized
Just how many years
58
00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:08,856
Of practice
And dedication it takes
59
00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:10,991
To become
A classical musician.
60
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:13,294
Well, anyone
In particular
Impress you?
61
00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:17,998
Oh, yeah, yeah.
The guy on the cannons.
He's incredible.
62
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:21,669
You know, I mean,
I actually thought about
Taking it up myself,
63
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,237
But I think
It's one of those things
64
00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:26,674
That you have to start
When you're very,
Very young.
65
00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:30,544
Yes. They say
To be truly great,
You do, yes.
66
00:03:30,578 --> 00:03:31,279
Yeah.
67
00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:36,950
You know, sometimes,
I think that
68
00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:41,889
Sam is actually pretending
To be less intelligent
Than he really is.
69
00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:44,958
But how intelligent
Would someone have to be
70
00:03:44,992 --> 00:03:49,630
To successfully pretend
To be that dumb?
71
00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:51,799
Phew. Boy.
72
00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:52,666
I'm not even sure
That I could pull it off.
73
00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:55,803
Oh, yes, you could.
74
00:03:55,836 --> 00:03:56,904
Eww. Yuck!
75
00:04:01,609 --> 00:04:05,012
I'm sorry, carla,
If we offended you
76
00:04:05,045 --> 00:04:07,515
With our public display
Of affection.
77
00:04:07,548 --> 00:04:08,582
But try to understand.
78
00:04:08,616 --> 00:04:12,286
Frasier crane has
The same effect
On me that
79
00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:15,889
Cheap chianti and dice
Hanging from a rear view
Mirror have on you.
80
00:04:20,628 --> 00:04:22,530
Boy, you got it bad.
81
00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:27,435
Hello, everyone,
And a happy
All hallows' eve.
82
00:04:33,841 --> 00:04:34,808
Guess who I am.
83
00:04:34,842 --> 00:04:35,976
Cliff clavin.
84
00:04:38,346 --> 00:04:40,981
No, coach.
Let me give you a hint.
85
00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:43,817
I went to florida to find
The fountain of youth.
86
00:04:43,851 --> 00:04:45,419
Cliff clavin.
87
00:04:47,521 --> 00:04:49,823
No, coach.
I'm ponce de leon.
88
00:04:49,857 --> 00:04:52,760
Well, I think
Your ears are too big.
89
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:53,661
What,
For ponce de leon?
90
00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:56,797
No, for you, cliffie.
91
00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:57,698
I don't know, coach.
92
00:04:57,731 --> 00:04:59,933
I happen to be very proud
Of my big ears.
93
00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:02,035
I mean, a lot of women
Consider them
Erogenous zones
94
00:05:02,069 --> 00:05:06,674
During heavy petting.
95
00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:08,676
Are you kidding?
You never had a date
In your life.
96
00:05:08,709 --> 00:05:10,511
That's only because
He's never had the guts
97
00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:13,581
To ask a girl out.
[laughs]
98
00:05:13,614 --> 00:05:14,948
It's got nothing to do
With guts.
99
00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:17,050
It's just that type of woman
You find up here
100
00:05:17,084 --> 00:05:19,587
On the northeastern
Seaboard bore me.
101
00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:21,922
See, I prefer
Your southern belles,
102
00:05:21,955 --> 00:05:24,725
You know, the kind of women
You find down there in florida.
103
00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:27,695
Oh, no!
He's going to go on
About florida again!
104
00:05:27,728 --> 00:05:29,363
Hey, hey, hey.
Suffice it to say,
105
00:05:29,397 --> 00:05:31,365
When I was down there,
I was covered with women.
106
00:05:31,399 --> 00:05:33,867
Sure they weren't
Mosquitoes?
107
00:05:33,901 --> 00:05:36,870
Yeah. Thank you,
Bob hopeless.
108
00:05:36,904 --> 00:05:40,874
I think I'll just go
In the back and
Scope out the dollies.
109
00:05:40,908 --> 00:05:43,711
Why don't you guys
Lighten up on cliff, huh?
110
00:05:43,744 --> 00:05:46,514
Sorry, sam,
But you got to admit
111
00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:48,081
It's a little bit weird,
Isn't it?
112
00:05:48,115 --> 00:05:49,717
I mean,
He's never been married.
113
00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:51,785
I've never even seen him
With a woman.
114
00:05:51,819 --> 00:05:55,389
Hey, norm.
He's your best friend.
Is he gay or what?
115
00:05:55,423 --> 00:05:57,891
I can't believe
What I'm hearing!
116
00:05:57,925 --> 00:06:00,694
You can't tell a gay guy
By his appearance!
117
00:06:00,728 --> 00:06:04,432
We had an outfielder
On the red sox,
Duke roberts.
118
00:06:04,465 --> 00:06:07,034
I mean,
He never got married,
He never went with girls,
119
00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:09,903
He even wore
Those fancy italian shoes.
120
00:06:09,937 --> 00:06:12,740
And he lived with a guy
Who was a florist,
121
00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:15,876
And duke wasn't gay.
122
00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:16,844
Yes, he was, coach.
123
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:20,781
Huh?
124
00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:22,049
He was?
125
00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:23,717
You think he'd like
To meet cliffie?
126
00:06:23,751 --> 00:06:24,885
Oh, come on.
127
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:33,193
Come on, guys.
Cliff is not gay,
All right?
128
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:34,562
He's just shy
Around women
129
00:06:34,595 --> 00:06:38,966
To the point of being
A blithering idiot.
130
00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:40,734
Diane, that was a colleague
Of mine on the phone,
131
00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:42,936
A reichian analyst.
He's taken ill.
132
00:06:42,970 --> 00:06:45,439
He wants me to
Take his place tomorrow
At an all-day seminar
133
00:06:45,473 --> 00:06:47,875
On multiple personality
At the university
Of chicago,
134
00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:51,111
So I got to go home
And pack.
135
00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:53,046
We won't be able to
Go to the concert.
136
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:54,748
Well, I won't,
But you can still go.
137
00:06:54,782 --> 00:06:57,050
Listen,
Take along a friend, and--
138
00:06:57,084 --> 00:07:00,087
Well, sam indicated
Some interest.
139
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,790
Sam?
140
00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:04,992
I think
I could find more
Stimulating company
141
00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:06,860
For the concert.
142
00:07:06,894 --> 00:07:08,161
I wouldn't have to
Look any farther
143
00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:12,766
Than the nearest
Petri dish.
144
00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:14,868
But once again,
I am startled
145
00:07:14,902 --> 00:07:20,574
By how far you are
Above petty emotion
Like jealousy.
146
00:07:20,608 --> 00:07:22,042
Well, I just figured
It was time
147
00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:24,077
Sam learned to appreciate
Instruments without fuses.
148
00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:26,914
Ha ha ha!
149
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:28,616
Good-bye,
My tiny alice.
150
00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:29,783
Good-bye,
My mad mad hatter.
151
00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:32,052
Ha!
152
00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:34,154
Well,
There are many theories as
To why the florida orange
153
00:07:34,187 --> 00:07:37,558
Is far superior to
Its california counterpart.
154
00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:39,827
Now, I personally think
It's the trace
Mineral element
155
00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:41,862
In the floridian water.
156
00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:44,532
Uh, that's obviously due
To the frequency
Of the typhoons
157
00:07:44,565 --> 00:07:48,536
And the nitrogen-rich
Alligator guano.
158
00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:50,871
Now, uh, furthermore,
There's, uh--
159
00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:55,543
Say!
I just remembered
I left my oven on.
160
00:07:55,576 --> 00:07:57,477
If I hurry home,
I can stick
My head in it.
161
00:08:04,618 --> 00:08:05,819
Florida oranges
Are delicious.
162
00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:12,826
What?
Nothing, nothing.
163
00:08:18,065 --> 00:08:22,269
Uh...Have you, uh,
Been to florida?
164
00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:24,004
No, but it's
Always been
165
00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:27,107
A crazy dream
Of mine to go.
166
00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:29,276
I read that they have
167
00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:33,881
The world's
Largest pair of
Alligator shoes there.
168
00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:35,749
That's right!
In orlando!
169
00:08:35,783 --> 00:08:37,217
I even sat
In one of them.
170
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:40,988
Wow!
Yeah.
171
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:44,157
Uh, w-what's your name?
172
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:46,860
Tinker bell.
What's yours?
173
00:08:46,894 --> 00:08:50,564
Me? Uh...I guess
It's ponce de leon.
174
00:08:50,598 --> 00:08:54,602
Oh, the fountain-
Of-youth guy that
Discovered florida!
175
00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:55,936
[gasps]
Would you marry me
And bear my children?
176
00:09:00,608 --> 00:09:03,010
Say, would you like
To go in the back
177
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:05,145
And maybe
Play some pool,
178
00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:07,014
Or as they say
In tallahassee,
179
00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:09,149
"Shoot some
Pocket billiards"?
180
00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:11,985
I'd love to,
Mr. Leon.
181
00:09:12,019 --> 00:09:14,054
Oh, please,
Call me ponce.
182
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:19,593
It looks like
You're out to conquer
New territories, ponce.
183
00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:23,230
Holy god!
184
00:09:33,841 --> 00:09:36,276
* day after day
185
00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:40,280
* I still believe in love
186
00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:43,283
* you are the one
187
00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:46,954
* one that I'm dreaming of
188
00:09:46,987 --> 00:09:48,889
* I love you
189
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:54,294
* I love
190
00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:57,064
* you
Oh...
191
00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:58,231
Did anyone
Ever tell you
192
00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:01,034
You dance
Divinely, ponce?
193
00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:03,103
Yeah, someone did
Mention it to me
The other day.
194
00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:06,039
Let's see.
Was that cortes
Or pizarro?
195
00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:08,175
[laughs]
196
00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:09,677
Sam,
I'm ready to go.
197
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:10,811
Would you hand me
My purse?
198
00:10:10,844 --> 00:10:12,212
I'll put a new tune
On the jukebox.
199
00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:15,282
Oh, I'm not using
A pair of tickets
Tomorrow
200
00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:18,018
For the boston pops.
201
00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:21,789
Uh, you're welcome
To have them if
You're interested.
202
00:10:21,822 --> 00:10:25,292
Uh...No. No.
No, thank you.
203
00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:26,794
Oh, you'll enjoy it!
204
00:10:26,827 --> 00:10:28,428
The program
Is an evening
205
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:32,032
Filled with fireworks
And laser beams,
206
00:10:32,065 --> 00:10:36,236
Occasionally
Interrupted with
The music of gershwin.
207
00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:38,205
Ah, no--pffoo, boy!
208
00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:41,341
I just can't think
Of who I'd take.
209
00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:46,446
Most of the women I date
Don't like music
They can't dance to.
210
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:47,981
Most of the women
You date
211
00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:50,117
Don't like music
They can't shed
Clothing to.
212
00:10:57,257 --> 00:10:58,291
How come you don't
Want to go?
213
00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:02,029
Oh, I do, but
Frasier's out of town.
214
00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:05,332
I can't think of anyone
I'd like to go with.
215
00:11:05,365 --> 00:11:07,367
Uh-huh.
216
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:12,840
I guess frasier
Would feel uncomfortable
If you and I went, huh?
217
00:11:12,873 --> 00:11:15,943
No. Actually
He suggested it.
218
00:11:15,976 --> 00:11:20,848
Ah, well, so you'd be
Uncomfortable, huh?
219
00:11:20,881 --> 00:11:23,016
Not at all.
220
00:11:23,050 --> 00:11:28,055
While you still harbor
Tortured longings for me,
221
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:30,423
The emotions are
So completely
Unreciprocated,
222
00:11:30,457 --> 00:11:32,359
I don't see
Why we shouldn't
Go together.
223
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:34,094
Then it's a date.
224
00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:39,032
Um, no, not a date.
I mean, not a date-date.
225
00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:40,433
Well, it's, uh--
226
00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:43,103
What would you call
An evening out
With a woman
227
00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:46,106
When you have
Absolutely no hope
228
00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:49,242
Of physical involvement
Whatsoever?
229
00:11:49,276 --> 00:11:50,410
A first.
230
00:12:08,361 --> 00:12:11,031
[music slows and stops]
231
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:13,133
I'm sorry.
232
00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:19,773
Well, I guess it's time
I be heading back
To never-never land.
233
00:12:19,807 --> 00:12:20,974
Let me walk you
Back to your car.
234
00:12:21,008 --> 00:12:23,777
Oh, no, no! That's ok.
It's right outside here.
235
00:12:27,214 --> 00:12:32,419
But I just want to know
When we're going to
See each other again.
236
00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:36,123
Actually,
We haven't seen
Each other at all yet.
237
00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:37,257
I know!
238
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:40,393
Let's meet
Tomorrow night right here
On this very spot
239
00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:43,030
As ourselves at 8:00.
240
00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:44,531
Ok.
241
00:12:44,564 --> 00:12:48,101
And--and...
Don't you be
A minute late.
242
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:03,416
Nice enough young person,
Huh, sam?
243
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:05,552
Way to go, cliffie!
244
00:13:05,585 --> 00:13:07,821
What do you mean,
Way to go, cliffie?
245
00:13:07,855 --> 00:13:09,422
You know,
If I didn't know you,
246
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:12,860
I'd say that you were
Pretty smooth tonight.
247
00:13:12,893 --> 00:13:16,196
Oh, sam,
I think I resent
That a little bit.
248
00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:18,431
No, that's ok.
You probably just think
249
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:21,334
You know me a lot better
Than you really do, huh?
250
00:13:21,368 --> 00:13:24,972
No, sam. Tonight wasn't
Really all that
Unusual for me.
251
00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:25,873
Come on, cliff.
252
00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:28,141
No, no, sam,
It was commonplace,
Really.
253
00:13:28,175 --> 00:13:29,442
Cliff.
254
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:31,178
What?
Ok.
255
00:13:31,211 --> 00:13:33,246
3, 2, 1...
256
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:34,948
Hurray,
I got a date!
[laughs]
257
00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:43,390
Thank you, sam.
Yeah.
258
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,373
Whoo!
259
00:14:00,407 --> 00:14:02,475
Well, here we are.
260
00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:04,511
Yeah. Thank you
For the ride home,
261
00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:07,314
And thank you
Very much for
The concert.
262
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:09,149
Boy, I tell you,
You know, that--
263
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:10,583
That gershwin's
A genius.
264
00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:13,286
[vocalizing
"Rhapsody in blue"]
265
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:14,922
[imitating
Fireworks]
266
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:19,326
[laughs] yeah.
267
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:20,660
The mark
Of a great composer,
268
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:24,431
When an audience leaves
Humming your fireworks.
269
00:14:24,464 --> 00:14:26,466
I had a great time.
270
00:14:26,499 --> 00:14:28,368
Me, too.
271
00:14:28,401 --> 00:14:31,404
I haven't had
Such a good time since...
272
00:14:31,438 --> 00:14:34,374
That's ok. I know when
You stopped having
Good times, diane.
273
00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:40,914
It goes without saying
That I would have had
A better time
274
00:14:40,948 --> 00:14:42,615
If I had gone
With frasier.
275
00:14:42,649 --> 00:14:43,951
Me, too.
276
00:14:45,152 --> 00:14:47,454
Thanks
For a lovely evening.
277
00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:51,224
By the way,
How did you like
Our first outing
278
00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:55,195
With no promise or threat
Of sexual encounter?
279
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:56,329
You're not
Out that door yet.
280
00:14:56,363 --> 00:14:57,931
Hmm hmm!
281
00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:01,501
[indistinct]
Aah! Aah!
282
00:15:06,106 --> 00:15:07,474
Good evening,
Everybody.
283
00:15:12,279 --> 00:15:13,080
Uh...
284
00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:15,983
Hey, uh...
285
00:15:16,016 --> 00:15:17,450
Can I have a beer,
Please, coach?
286
00:15:17,484 --> 00:15:19,119
Hey, this one's
On me, coach.
287
00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:20,387
Oh, thanks, norm.
288
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,222
Got it. Yeah.
289
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:23,523
Cliffie, ahh...
290
00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:27,094
Ha ha! Yeah...
291
00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:28,261
Well...
292
00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:32,399
"Well..." what?
"Ahh..."
293
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:33,633
Hee hee hee!
294
00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:37,404
Well, last I saw,
You were dancing together.
295
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:39,372
Yeah, so?
296
00:15:39,406 --> 00:15:41,975
So...You know...
297
00:15:42,009 --> 00:15:45,278
No, norm.
I don't "Know."
298
00:15:45,312 --> 00:15:47,114
He wants to know
If you boinked her,
Ya dink.
299
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:52,219
Norm!
300
00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:55,655
Good god, norm!
301
00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:57,524
Don't you know that
Psychologists believe
302
00:15:57,557 --> 00:15:59,492
That one night
Of meaningless pleasure
303
00:15:59,526 --> 00:16:02,262
Can just get in the way
Of any kind of
Long-term commitment?
304
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:03,396
Is that true, sam?
305
00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:05,665
I rely on it.
306
00:16:08,735 --> 00:16:13,040
She's, uh,
Meeting me here
Tonight at 8:00.
307
00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:16,076
8:00? Cliff,
I don't believe this.
308
00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:17,444
You're meeting a woman
In 15 minutes?
309
00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:19,312
I don't believe
How calm you are.
310
00:16:19,346 --> 00:16:20,713
Oh, hey, come on,
Norm. Don't tell me
311
00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:22,349
That you, too,
Subscribe
To that myth
312
00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:25,452
About
My discomfiture
With women?
313
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:27,120
Cliffie,
I was there one night
314
00:16:27,154 --> 00:16:28,555
A woman asked you
What time it was.
315
00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:32,425
You swallowed
The lower half
Of your face.
316
00:16:32,459 --> 00:16:35,262
Well, norm, obviously
You know nothing
About body language.
317
00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:38,431
That gesture is replete
With erotic messages.
318
00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:39,532
To a baboon, maybe.
319
00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:41,501
All right,
All right,
All right.
320
00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:43,303
I admit that
In the past,
321
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:44,771
I've been a little shy
Around women,
322
00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:48,041
But you know,
I've been thinking
About it,
323
00:16:48,075 --> 00:16:49,409
And I don't think
There's been any real reason
324
00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:52,479
For my, you know,
Insecurities.
325
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,747
As a matter of fact,
Uh, watch this.
326
00:16:54,781 --> 00:16:56,649
Sammy. Lighter.
327
00:17:03,390 --> 00:17:04,391
May I?
328
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:10,397
Thank you.
329
00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:13,533
Uh,
You're very welmmnb.
330
00:17:13,566 --> 00:17:15,735
I mean, you're--
You're welcomnbm.
331
00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:17,104
Ahem!
You're welcambumn.
332
00:17:19,672 --> 00:17:22,609
You're very,
Extremely walaumbah.
333
00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:25,645
You're--you're wolabah!
334
00:17:25,678 --> 00:17:29,149
Wahlaha helaha. Hacah!
335
00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:33,353
I think he's
Too damn smooth
For his own good.
336
00:17:36,823 --> 00:17:37,224
No, n--n--
337
00:17:42,629 --> 00:17:46,399
I'm such a wimp,
I'm such a wuss,
I'm such a weenie.
338
00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:48,135
God, am I a dink!
339
00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:51,738
Cliff,
I know you're nervous
About meeting a girl,
340
00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:53,373
But this one's different.
You know her already.
341
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:54,707
You danced with her
All night long.
342
00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:56,376
I didn't dance with her,
Norm.
343
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:57,444
Ponce de leon
Danced with her.
344
00:17:57,477 --> 00:17:58,411
No,
You danced with her!
345
00:17:58,445 --> 00:18:01,481
Oh, it wasn't me.
I was just playing
A role.
346
00:18:01,514 --> 00:18:04,784
Tonight, I'm me--
Middle-aged,
Tongue-tied yutz!
347
00:18:04,817 --> 00:18:07,187
All right, cliff.
I want you to listen
To me for a minute.
348
00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:09,889
There's been a lot
Talk about you
In this bar recently.
349
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:12,825
And the one who always
Winds up defending you is me.
350
00:18:12,859 --> 00:18:15,128
I don't mind.
That's what
Best friends are for.
351
00:18:15,162 --> 00:18:16,829
But it's almost 8:00,
Cliffie,
352
00:18:16,863 --> 00:18:19,466
And the one woman in the world
Weird enough for you
To have a shot at
353
00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:21,868
May be standing
Right outside that door!
354
00:18:21,901 --> 00:18:24,737
You blow this,
I don't even want to
Look at you.
355
00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:30,543
Oh, stop it,
Will you, norm?
Knock it off.
356
00:18:30,577 --> 00:18:31,311
Norm!
357
00:18:34,347 --> 00:18:35,615
Normie!
358
00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:42,755
Ok. I'll go
Out there.
359
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:49,429
Thanks.
360
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,598
I love you,
Big guy!
361
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:53,766
Give her
A try first.
362
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,602
If it doesn't work out,
We can talk.
363
00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:36,943
Come on, cliffie.
364
00:19:36,976 --> 00:19:39,812
If she comes downstairs
Now and sees you
Standing there,
365
00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:40,913
She's going to know
You've been there
For 6 hours.
366
00:19:40,947 --> 00:19:44,584
I mean,
That looks pretty--
Pretty desperate.
367
00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:47,587
So?
368
00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:49,456
That's the way it is,
Isn't it?
369
00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:51,791
This is
What love comes to.
370
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:53,893
I want to remember this,
Sammy.
371
00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:57,764
Somebody take
My picture.
372
00:19:57,797 --> 00:19:59,599
Come on, cliff.
Come on.
373
00:19:59,632 --> 00:20:00,667
Come on. It's on me.
Come on.
374
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:01,534
Sit down.
375
00:20:01,568 --> 00:20:03,336
I guess you're right.
376
00:20:03,370 --> 00:20:05,938
No more illusions
About happiness for me.
377
00:20:05,972 --> 00:20:06,939
I'm just going to
Sit right here
378
00:20:06,973 --> 00:20:08,875
And drink myself
Into oblivion.
379
00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:11,644
No, you're not.
380
00:20:11,678 --> 00:20:14,814
You'd just have
2 problems that way.
381
00:20:14,847 --> 00:20:16,883
Aw, why did she
Stand me up?
382
00:20:16,916 --> 00:20:18,951
That does it.
From now on,
383
00:20:18,985 --> 00:20:22,555
I'm going to let
My grooming and appearance
Go right to hell.
384
00:20:22,589 --> 00:20:26,826
And you think the results
Will be noticeable?
385
00:20:26,859 --> 00:20:28,861
Thank you, carla.
386
00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:30,697
I want abuse piled
On me tonight.
387
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:31,864
Maybe I'll get it
Through my thick head
388
00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:33,366
That I'm nothing
But a loser.
389
00:20:35,368 --> 00:20:36,969
You know
What my nickname
Was in high school?
390
00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:38,738
No.
You never told us.
391
00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:42,842
That's because
I didn't have one, coach.
392
00:20:42,875 --> 00:20:46,746
I tried to get one started--
You know, made it up myself.
393
00:20:46,779 --> 00:20:48,681
Courteous cliff.
394
00:20:48,715 --> 00:20:50,750
[laughs]
395
00:20:50,783 --> 00:20:52,952
Courteous cliff.
396
00:20:52,985 --> 00:20:54,354
As long as
You're making it up
Yourself,
397
00:20:54,387 --> 00:20:55,355
Couldn't
You have done
A little better?
398
00:20:55,388 --> 00:20:58,325
Eh, I didn't want
To arouse suspicion,
Normie.
399
00:21:01,661 --> 00:21:03,830
You know, I hear
There's a tribe of men
In the middle east
400
00:21:03,863 --> 00:21:06,633
Called the essenites.
401
00:21:06,666 --> 00:21:08,968
They're entirely celibate.
They live without women.
402
00:21:09,001 --> 00:21:12,639
And rumor has it that
They are the happiest men
In the world.
403
00:21:12,672 --> 00:21:15,875
Tomorrow,
I'm going to send
For their brochure.
404
00:21:15,908 --> 00:21:17,410
[telephone rings]
405
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,616
Hello. Cheers.
406
00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:26,653
No. There's no
Ponce de leon here!
407
00:21:26,686 --> 00:21:29,389
We don't have
Prince albert
In the can!
408
00:21:29,422 --> 00:21:30,457
Why don't you
Do your homework--
409
00:21:30,490 --> 00:21:34,594
Coach, coach, coach,
I think that might be
For me.
410
00:21:34,627 --> 00:21:36,663
Oh.
411
00:21:36,696 --> 00:21:37,764
Hello?
412
00:21:37,797 --> 00:21:38,998
Yeah.
413
00:21:41,067 --> 00:21:43,670
Really?
414
00:21:43,703 --> 00:21:44,971
No.
I understand. I--
415
00:21:45,004 --> 00:21:46,506
Yeah,
I--I understand.
416
00:21:48,641 --> 00:21:50,777
Ok. All right. Bye.
417
00:21:55,415 --> 00:21:57,684
Isn't that
Something?
418
00:21:57,717 --> 00:21:59,986
She was
Afraid to meet me
Without her mask on.
419
00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:04,624
I actually made
A woman nervous.
420
00:22:06,826 --> 00:22:09,596
That's incredible,
Isn't it?
421
00:22:09,629 --> 00:22:11,798
So, you two going
To get together?
422
00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:14,701
Yeah. She's
At a pay phone
Across the street.
423
00:22:14,734 --> 00:22:18,638
She said
She's coming right over.
424
00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:20,773
All right.
Way to go,
Cliffie. Yeah.
425
00:22:20,807 --> 00:22:22,041
Well,
Let's not
Stand here.
426
00:22:22,074 --> 00:22:23,943
We'll be
Up here.
427
00:22:23,976 --> 00:22:26,045
Come here. Ok.
428
00:22:26,078 --> 00:22:27,414
Thank you,
Coach.
429
00:22:27,447 --> 00:22:29,749
Cliff, we don't want
To have to eavesdrop,
430
00:22:29,782 --> 00:22:31,818
So keep
Your stupid remarks loud.
431
00:22:38,858 --> 00:22:39,526
[footsteps]
432
00:22:58,911 --> 00:23:00,780
Hello.
433
00:23:00,813 --> 00:23:01,748
Hi.
434
00:23:04,684 --> 00:23:06,853
Uh...
435
00:23:06,886 --> 00:23:07,454
I'm club cloofin.
436
00:23:10,623 --> 00:23:11,458
Sorry.
437
00:23:12,925 --> 00:23:16,596
I'm cliff...Clavin.
438
00:23:16,629 --> 00:23:19,031
I'm harry o'share--
439
00:23:19,065 --> 00:23:20,700
Sharon hare.
440
00:23:22,068 --> 00:23:25,037
I mean,
I'm sharon o'hare.
441
00:23:38,751 --> 00:23:39,051
[coins clink]
442
00:23:39,085 --> 00:23:41,888
[rattles]
443
00:23:41,921 --> 00:23:42,822
[romantic music playing]
444
00:23:48,094 --> 00:23:51,163
* days turn to weeks
445
00:23:51,197 --> 00:23:55,134
* when you're so far from me
446
00:23:55,167 --> 00:23:58,104
* I tell myself
447
00:23:58,137 --> 00:24:01,974
* you're so precious
For me *
448
00:24:02,008 --> 00:24:05,645
* I love you
449
00:24:05,678 --> 00:24:09,081
* I love
450
00:24:09,115 --> 00:24:11,984
* you
451
00:24:16,222 --> 00:24:19,091
* time after time
452
00:24:19,125 --> 00:24:22,895
* when I'm thinking of you
453
00:24:22,929 --> 00:24:26,032
* I realize
454
00:24:26,065 --> 00:24:29,702
* all the things
That we'll do *
455
00:24:29,736 --> 00:24:31,871
* I love you...
32686
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