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1
00:00:02,570 --> 00:00:05,739
"Cheers" is filmed
Before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:07,575 --> 00:00:11,312
Hey, everybody. I'm back
From my florida vacation.
3
00:00:11,312 --> 00:00:14,648
Yeah, good to be home again,
Back with the old gang.
4
00:00:14,648 --> 00:00:16,016
Hey, how you been, pal?
5
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,618
Glad too, buddy.
6
00:00:18,952 --> 00:00:20,454
Ah, look at that.
7
00:00:20,454 --> 00:00:23,991
There's the old bar, huh?
Hasn't changed a bit.
8
00:00:23,991 --> 00:00:26,427
Hey, you're back.
Good to see you.
9
00:00:26,427 --> 00:00:28,562
It's good to be back.
Oh, it's you.
10
00:00:28,562 --> 00:00:31,031
You know, from behind,
You look like a friend of mine.
11
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:33,767
Aw! Hey. You kidder.
12
00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:35,236
I'll get you
For that.
13
00:00:37,004 --> 00:00:39,873
Eh, so, hi, coach.
Hi, cliffie.
14
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:43,544
Boy, did I have a spectacular
Time down there in florida,
15
00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:45,946
Basking up the old
Florida sunshine.
16
00:00:45,946 --> 00:00:47,315
Hoo! I tell you,
17
00:00:47,315 --> 00:00:49,650
It really got my head
Screwed on straight, too.
18
00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:52,320
You know, coach,
That experience changed me.
19
00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:54,755
I'm now at one
With the cosmos.
20
00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:56,424
[blender roars]
21
00:00:56,424 --> 00:00:57,858
No more getting
Caught up--
22
00:00:57,858 --> 00:00:59,127
Um...
23
00:00:59,127 --> 00:01:00,828
One with the cosmos,
Coach.
24
00:01:00,828 --> 00:01:03,131
No more getting caught up
In the petty irritations
25
00:01:03,131 --> 00:01:04,998
Of day-to-day life.
26
00:01:04,998 --> 00:01:06,767
I'm just the kind of guy--
27
00:01:08,469 --> 00:01:09,370
Yeah,
28
00:01:09,370 --> 00:01:11,772
I stood on many
A windswept beach,
29
00:01:11,772 --> 00:01:14,175
Felt the oneness...
30
00:01:14,175 --> 00:01:16,410
Felt...
31
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,279
I...
32
00:01:33,794 --> 00:01:36,230
Anybody want a mai-tai?
33
00:01:36,230 --> 00:01:38,432
Ha ha ha!
34
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:41,935
Ha! Mai-tai, cliff.
Cliffie, look.
35
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,671
You get it?
My tie?
36
00:01:43,671 --> 00:01:45,139
My tie, cliffie.
37
00:01:48,742 --> 00:01:51,512
* making your way
In the world today *
38
00:01:51,512 --> 00:01:54,382
* takes everything
You've got *
39
00:01:54,382 --> 00:01:57,117
* taking the breaks
From all your worries *
40
00:01:57,117 --> 00:02:00,421
* sure would help a lot *
41
00:02:00,421 --> 00:02:04,192
* wouldn't you like
To get away? *
42
00:02:06,394 --> 00:02:08,529
* sometimes
You want to go *
43
00:02:08,529 --> 00:02:11,765
* where everybody
Knows your name *
44
00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:18,306
* and they're always
Glad you came *
45
00:02:18,306 --> 00:02:21,108
* you want to be
Where you can see *
46
00:02:21,108 --> 00:02:23,477
* our troubles
Are all the same *
47
00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:28,849
* you want to be where everybody
Knows your name *
48
00:02:28,849 --> 00:02:31,252
* you want to go
Where people know *
49
00:02:31,252 --> 00:02:33,887
* people are all the same *
50
00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:38,792
* you want to go where
Everybody knows your name *
51
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:01,081
Afternoon, everybody.
52
00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:02,650
Norm!
Norm!
Norm!
53
00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:03,651
Beer, normie?
54
00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:05,152
You know how to
Make it sound tempting,
55
00:03:05,152 --> 00:03:07,187
You fast talker.
56
00:03:08,389 --> 00:03:10,190
Guess who, buddy.
57
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:13,527
Cliffie. Missed you
The last couple of days.
58
00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:18,566
I, uh--I've been gone
Two weeks, norm.
59
00:03:18,566 --> 00:03:20,968
I know.
60
00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:22,936
God, I missed
This guy.
61
00:03:24,972 --> 00:03:26,774
So, uh, norm,
How's vera?
62
00:03:26,774 --> 00:03:28,976
Any luck getting her
In the family way yet?
63
00:03:28,976 --> 00:03:30,110
Still working on it.
64
00:03:30,110 --> 00:03:33,046
Hey, norm.
You want a kid?
65
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,748
Not really.
66
00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:38,151
I'm just kind of going
Along with it to shut
Vera up, you know?
67
00:03:38,151 --> 00:03:39,853
She says she wants
To start a family
68
00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:41,289
So she'll have
Something to do.
69
00:03:41,289 --> 00:03:43,056
Poor norm here's
Been shooting blanks
70
00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:44,725
The last couple of months.
71
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:47,561
Little louder,
Cliff. We'll dance
To it, huh? Come on.
72
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,898
Hey, don't worry,
Normie.
73
00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:54,668
You'll be
Planting your seed
Before you know it.
74
00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:56,804
Hope so.
75
00:03:56,804 --> 00:03:58,672
Doc says if something
Doesn't happen soon,
76
00:03:58,672 --> 00:04:01,342
We may have to take
A drastic step.
77
00:04:01,342 --> 00:04:02,876
You mean...
78
00:04:02,876 --> 00:04:04,745
Sleep together.
79
00:04:09,383 --> 00:04:10,984
Our prayers
Are with you,
Big guy.
80
00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:12,586
Thank you,
Thank you.
81
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:15,188
So, coach, how's sammy been
Doing since I've been away?
82
00:04:15,188 --> 00:04:17,591
Just about the same,
Cliffie--terrible.
83
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:19,493
You should've seen him
The other night, cliffie.
84
00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:21,662
He walks in here
With this lady
Librarian, right?
85
00:04:21,662 --> 00:04:23,297
She's off duty, right?
86
00:04:23,297 --> 00:04:24,698
They both have
A snootful.
87
00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:26,334
The librarian's
Got--
88
00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:27,868
Sam: hey, gang!
89
00:04:30,203 --> 00:04:32,806
Never mind.
My story's obsolete.
90
00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:33,841
Coach.
91
00:04:33,841 --> 00:04:34,708
Yeah?
92
00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:36,544
This is my bar,
Isn't it?
93
00:04:36,544 --> 00:04:38,145
Yeah, sure is, sam.
94
00:04:38,145 --> 00:04:41,048
See? I told you
I owned a bar.
95
00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:42,816
Ooh, I like it,
Sam.
96
00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:46,754
Well, it's not much,
But then again...I am.
97
00:04:46,754 --> 00:04:50,624
Hey, sammy, I think
You got one over the legal
Limit there, buddy.
98
00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:53,060
Hey, cliffie's back.
99
00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:54,428
How was your vacation?
100
00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:57,264
Oh, my vacation.
You remembered, huh?
101
00:04:57,264 --> 00:04:59,500
Atlantic city, right?
102
00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:01,902
Yeah, it was terrific.
Thanks a lot.
103
00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:06,073
What branch
Of the service are
These young ladies in?
104
00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:11,612
I stole them off the front
Of a parade last night, coach.
105
00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:14,482
At this very moment,
There are 26 tuba players
106
00:05:14,482 --> 00:05:17,418
Marching
Right into the river.
107
00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:19,653
Show them your stuff
There, girls.
108
00:05:22,089 --> 00:05:23,256
Ha ha ha!
109
00:05:23,256 --> 00:05:24,992
God, I love it.
110
00:05:26,193 --> 00:05:27,728
Excuse me, sam.
111
00:05:27,728 --> 00:05:31,399
While you're waiting
For runway clearance...
112
00:05:34,602 --> 00:05:37,405
Do you mind taking
A look at this?
113
00:05:37,405 --> 00:05:40,874
Well, this is a piece
Of paper, isn't it?
114
00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:42,109
And those are words.
115
00:05:42,109 --> 00:05:43,911
This is a letter
Or something.
116
00:05:43,911 --> 00:05:46,714
It is jo ann's
Resignation.
117
00:05:46,714 --> 00:05:49,950
Hey, girls, take a break
And give your dimples a rest.
118
00:05:51,251 --> 00:05:52,453
What?
119
00:05:52,453 --> 00:05:54,755
We lost another waitress
Because she says
120
00:05:54,755 --> 00:05:57,324
She found out she wasn't
The only girl in your life.
121
00:05:57,324 --> 00:05:59,393
Oh, nonsense, carla.
122
00:05:59,393 --> 00:06:01,194
She's been listening
To vicious rumors.
123
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:04,932
Sammy, this means
That I have to work
Alone again.
124
00:06:04,932 --> 00:06:06,834
We can't keep
A waitress in here
125
00:06:06,834 --> 00:06:08,502
Because
You keep breaking
Their hearts.
126
00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:12,205
Well, obviously, I need
A good talking-to.
127
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:14,908
Sammy,
This is serious!
128
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:22,282
We have gone through
Eight waitresses
In six months.
129
00:06:22,282 --> 00:06:24,685
Bet you I can remember
All their names.
130
00:06:24,685 --> 00:06:28,789
Dee dee,
Carleen, angela,
131
00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:31,792
Sneezy, dopey,
Donner, and blitzen.
132
00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:33,193
Ok, girls.
133
00:06:33,193 --> 00:06:35,228
Yo!
134
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:36,564
Step right this way,
Ladies.
135
00:06:36,564 --> 00:06:39,533
Time for
The halftime show
At the sammydome.
136
00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:41,134
There you go.
Step lively.
137
00:06:41,134 --> 00:06:43,437
Poor sam.
138
00:06:43,437 --> 00:06:46,940
Yeah. My heart
Bleeds for him.
139
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:49,743
Yeah, sure, cliffie, he looks
Like he's having a lot of fun,
140
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:52,580
But believe me, this is just
The first stage.
141
00:06:52,580 --> 00:06:56,416
He's going to end up
Drinking himself senseless.
142
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,151
Turning into
A real jerk,
You know?
143
00:06:58,151 --> 00:07:01,021
Spends his
Time boozing,
Chasing skirts,
144
00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:02,856
And loving
And leaving
Waitresses.
145
00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:04,925
Wonder what
Set him off.
146
00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:07,761
Suppose maybe
It might've been diaaa--
147
00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:12,032
Diabetes!
148
00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:14,267
You were going
To say that name,
Weren't you?
149
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,335
No, I wasn't.
150
00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:17,404
Yes, you were.
You know my rule.
151
00:07:17,404 --> 00:07:19,139
I didn't say it.
152
00:07:19,139 --> 00:07:21,141
I don't
Even want you
To think it.
153
00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:24,478
Use that name,
And I will give you
A sunroof.
154
00:07:31,752 --> 00:07:33,120
All right, look, look,
155
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:34,822
What difference does it make
How it started?
156
00:07:34,822 --> 00:07:38,125
The important thing is,
Can we do anything
To stop him?
157
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:42,262
If we can't stop him,
Can we join him?
158
00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:45,799
[women giggling]
159
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:46,934
If we can't join him,
160
00:07:46,934 --> 00:07:50,137
Do you think
He'd let me watch?
161
00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:52,840
[telephone rings]
162
00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:54,575
Cheers.
163
00:07:54,575 --> 00:07:56,043
Uh-huh.
164
00:07:56,043 --> 00:07:58,078
Yeah, he's here.
I'll give him the message.
165
00:07:58,078 --> 00:08:00,781
Normie, it's vera.
She says to hurry home.
166
00:08:00,781 --> 00:08:03,483
Her cycle
Is at its peak.
167
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:05,719
Again?
168
00:08:05,719 --> 00:08:09,489
Her cycle has
More peaks than
The adirondacks.
169
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:12,560
Hey, all systems are
Go there, big fella.
170
00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:16,897
Even secretariat got to wait
Till he was in the mood
Once in a while.
171
00:08:18,465 --> 00:08:21,969
* birds do it,
Bees do it *
172
00:08:21,969 --> 00:08:24,872
* even educated
Fleas do it **
173
00:08:27,074 --> 00:08:28,542
Poor coach.
174
00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:30,510
After all you went
Through with sam,
175
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:33,080
Seeing him right back
There where he was.
176
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:36,483
Really, carla,
It's eating me up,
I'm telling you.
177
00:08:36,483 --> 00:08:39,820
I'm so desperate,
I feel like I'm gonna
Do something crazy.
178
00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:41,088
As a matter of fact,
179
00:08:41,088 --> 00:08:42,790
I am going to do
Do something crazy.
180
00:08:42,790 --> 00:08:44,725
Wait a minute, coach.
What are you
Going to do?
181
00:08:44,725 --> 00:08:46,894
I know exactly
What sam needs.
182
00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:50,230
Coach, your apron.
183
00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:52,733
He's got an apron!
184
00:08:58,271 --> 00:09:00,240
Diane: just put them
Down over there, boggs.
185
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:03,677
Thank you, miss.
Now I know why
I became a chauffeur
186
00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:05,846
Instead of a longshoreman.
187
00:09:05,846 --> 00:09:10,784
I would have been 72
On me next birthday.
188
00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:12,285
I appreciate your
Bringing me home, boggs.
189
00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:15,155
Well, your mother and I
Felt very strongly
190
00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:17,390
That the first face
One should encounter
191
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,292
On leaving
A place like that
192
00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:20,861
Should be a friendly one.
193
00:09:20,861 --> 00:09:22,095
Speaking of mother,
194
00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:23,897
Why didn't she ever
Visit me there?
195
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:25,866
Well, she wanted to
Visit you, miss diane,
196
00:09:25,866 --> 00:09:29,737
But you know how
Uncomfortable she is
Around psychiatrists.
197
00:09:31,639 --> 00:09:33,641
She could have
Written me a letter.
198
00:09:33,641 --> 00:09:37,110
And let them see
Her handwriting?
199
00:09:38,746 --> 00:09:40,413
Boggs, that's insane.
200
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:41,949
Well, as your mother
Would say,
201
00:09:41,949 --> 00:09:44,918
Let's see them
Prove it in court.
202
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:47,387
Which reminds me,
I should be getting
Back to her right now.
203
00:09:47,387 --> 00:09:49,690
Well, thanks again
For driving me home, boggs.
204
00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:51,158
It's my pleasure.
205
00:09:51,158 --> 00:09:54,194
I must say,
It's so nice to
See you happy again.
206
00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:58,732
Boggs, I think I'm as happy
As I've ever been.
207
00:09:58,732 --> 00:10:01,301
I have a new life.
208
00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:03,837
All these wonderful things
Have happened to me.
209
00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:05,372
I'm better now.
210
00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:06,406
[knock on door]
211
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:08,976
Aah!
Miss?
212
00:10:08,976 --> 00:10:11,812
I'm fine, boggs. I was just
A little startled.
213
00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:14,481
That's a perfectly
Normal reaction.
214
00:10:14,481 --> 00:10:15,548
Perfectly.
215
00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:17,751
[knock]
Aah!
216
00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:23,390
Who is it?
217
00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:25,592
It's ernie pantuso.
218
00:10:25,592 --> 00:10:27,394
Coach?
219
00:10:27,394 --> 00:10:28,896
What do you want?
220
00:10:28,896 --> 00:10:31,598
Diane, I have to talk
To you. It's important.
221
00:10:31,598 --> 00:10:34,434
Coach,
You're a dear man,
222
00:10:34,434 --> 00:10:36,303
And I love you,
223
00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:37,370
And I've missed you,
224
00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:40,741
But you're part
Of a period of my life
225
00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:44,411
That I want to see
Fade into memory.
226
00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:46,714
Do you understand,
Coach?
227
00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:50,851
Coach?
228
00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:54,688
Western union.
229
00:10:58,125 --> 00:11:00,694
This is a man
I could never resist.
230
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:08,668
How have you been?
231
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,670
I'm fine, honey.
How have you been?
232
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,239
I'm ok.
233
00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:16,509
I'm sorry I had to
Fool you that way.
234
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,746
Hi.
235
00:11:18,746 --> 00:11:21,448
Perhaps I should be
Taking this opportunity
236
00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:22,983
To be going along.
237
00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:26,920
Um...Well,
Say hello to mummy.
238
00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:28,621
Why don't you have her
Call me?
239
00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:31,158
You know how she feels
About telephones.
240
00:11:31,158 --> 00:11:34,294
Well, tell her to write...
Or I'll write...
241
00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:37,197
Or maybe well just
Run into each other sometime.
242
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,499
Nothing would
Please her more.
243
00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:41,769
Good-bye.
244
00:11:41,769 --> 00:11:43,336
Good-bye.
245
00:11:44,738 --> 00:11:46,006
How many pair
Of socks
246
00:11:46,006 --> 00:11:48,675
Do you figure a guy
Like that has?
247
00:11:48,675 --> 00:11:50,677
I have no idea.
248
00:11:50,677 --> 00:11:52,079
Can I get you
Something?
249
00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:54,181
I don't know exactly
What I've got.
250
00:11:54,181 --> 00:11:57,350
I've been away
Several months at
A sani--vacation.
251
00:11:57,350 --> 00:11:58,685
At a vacation.
252
00:11:58,685 --> 00:12:01,421
Oh, gee, you didn't happen
To run into cliffie, did you?
253
00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:05,959
No. Did he have
A nervous--vacation, too?
254
00:12:05,959 --> 00:12:07,828
Oh, he's a wreck. Ohh.
255
00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:09,496
Uh, listen, diane,
256
00:12:09,496 --> 00:12:12,532
Have you given any thought
To stopping by the place
257
00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:14,334
And saying hello
To everybody?
258
00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:17,404
Coach, that wouldn't
Be a good idea.
259
00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:20,540
Why do you ask?
260
00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:22,843
Does anyone there
Ask about me?
261
00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:25,879
No. That carla
Won't let them.
262
00:12:28,115 --> 00:12:32,652
Diane, listen, I want you
To come back to cheers
263
00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:34,454
And have a talk
With sam.
264
00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:39,526
Talk with s-s-s-s...
265
00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:42,162
S-s-s-s...
266
00:12:42,162 --> 00:12:43,696
S-s-s-s...
267
00:12:43,696 --> 00:12:46,533
Yes. It's
Very important.
268
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,305
Maybe s-s-s-s...
269
00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:53,406
S-s-s-s...
270
00:12:53,406 --> 00:12:54,942
S-s...
271
00:12:57,945 --> 00:13:00,547
Maybe
The bartender there...
272
00:13:00,547 --> 00:13:03,383
Didn't tell you about
Our last conversation,
273
00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:06,053
But it ended in wrath
And acrimony.
274
00:13:06,053 --> 00:13:08,221
I vowed never to return
To cheers.
275
00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:10,123
And I want to make this
Very clear to you.
276
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:11,691
Nothing
In heaven or hell
277
00:13:11,691 --> 00:13:14,327
Will ever get me
Back there. Sam.
278
00:13:19,366 --> 00:13:23,603
Diane, you might be
My last chance.
279
00:13:23,603 --> 00:13:26,239
Sam's boozing again.
280
00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:30,577
Oh, dear.
281
00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:34,447
Oh, dear.
282
00:13:38,351 --> 00:13:40,353
Poor s-s-s-s...
283
00:13:44,724 --> 00:13:48,128
Poor,
Dear s-s-s-s...
284
00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:49,897
Am.
285
00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:05,946
Well, I'm back.
286
00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:07,247
Norm!
Norm!
Norm!
287
00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:08,848
What'll it be,
Normie?
288
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:11,284
A transfusion
With a head on it.
289
00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:16,856
Normie, are you sure
You want to have a kid?
290
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,025
Well...
291
00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:19,960
You know, once the monster
Comes along,
292
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,694
Your whole life
Is going to be different.
293
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:22,963
Yeah?
Yeah.
294
00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:24,131
Coach, you've
Had kids.
295
00:14:24,131 --> 00:14:25,632
Does a baby
Change you?
296
00:14:25,632 --> 00:14:29,970
Are you kidding, normie?
It can't even change itself.
297
00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:33,373
Well, I'll have to
Remember that.
298
00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:42,015
What day is it?
Coach:
Friday.
299
00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:43,917
Well, that's it for me.
Good night, everybody.
300
00:14:43,917 --> 00:14:45,085
Have a good evening.
301
00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:47,720
Sam, please.
You can't leave.
302
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,156
Why not?
303
00:14:49,156 --> 00:14:51,391
A friend of yours
Is dropping by
This afternoon,
304
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:53,793
And I kinda promised that
I'd keep you here.
305
00:14:53,793 --> 00:14:55,862
Oh, hey, great.
One of my old buds.
306
00:14:55,862 --> 00:14:57,364
I smell high times
Coming.
307
00:14:57,364 --> 00:14:59,632
No, actually,
It's one of your
Old girlfriends.
308
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:03,536
Better still. Hope it's
One of the wild ones, coach.
309
00:15:03,536 --> 00:15:06,773
But then again,
They were all wild,
Weren't they?
310
00:15:06,773 --> 00:15:08,708
Well, no, they
Weren't all wild.
311
00:15:08,708 --> 00:15:11,111
Hold it right there,
Coach.
312
00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:12,679
If you're talking
Ab--
313
00:15:14,281 --> 00:15:16,149
If you're talking
About the stick,
314
00:15:16,149 --> 00:15:18,518
I'm gonna pull your lower
Lip up over your head
315
00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:20,720
Like a cabbage leaf.
316
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:23,023
Cut it out, carla.
317
00:15:23,023 --> 00:15:24,992
Diane's not coming
Back here.
318
00:15:24,992 --> 00:15:26,693
She said she's not
Coming back.
319
00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:28,795
Well, she just
Might come by.
320
00:15:28,795 --> 00:15:29,829
What makes you
Say that?
321
00:15:29,829 --> 00:15:30,998
Because I asked her.
322
00:15:30,998 --> 00:15:33,466
You wha--
323
00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:35,435
What the hell
Did you do that for?
324
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:37,170
I knew you were
Going to hate this,
325
00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:39,539
But please, just listen
To what she has to say.
326
00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:40,473
Promise me.
327
00:15:40,473 --> 00:15:44,244
Oh, I know what this
Is all about.
328
00:15:44,244 --> 00:15:46,479
It's this drinking
Crap, isn't it, coach?
329
00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:48,281
How many times
Do I got to tell you,
330
00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:49,749
I'm drinking
Because I like it,
331
00:15:49,749 --> 00:15:53,320
Because it tastes good,
And because I want to.
332
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:57,224
Oh, god, coach,
I don't want to
See diane chambers.
333
00:15:57,224 --> 00:15:59,326
Well, you're going
To have to see her
334
00:15:59,326 --> 00:16:03,696
Because she's coming by here
Any second now!
335
00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:04,964
God!
336
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,299
We're all sitting
Around here
337
00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:07,767
Like we're
At the queen's tea,
338
00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:11,804
And that thing
Is on its way.
339
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:15,208
In fact,
It's very close.
340
00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:16,776
I can sense it.
341
00:16:16,776 --> 00:16:20,013
Aah!
342
00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:23,750
Uhhh!
343
00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:26,719
It's here, and it's
Going to walk in
344
00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:29,489
And say something.
Ooh!
345
00:16:31,058 --> 00:16:33,560
Stay out of this, carla.
346
00:16:45,472 --> 00:16:47,640
Hello...
347
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,076
Sam.
348
00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:54,047
Hi there.
349
00:16:54,047 --> 00:16:56,616
Did you forget
Something?
350
00:16:56,616 --> 00:16:59,686
I just dropped in to see
How everyone was doing.
351
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:03,456
Oh, I just got back
From florida, diane.
352
00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:06,259
Everybody's doing fine.
353
00:17:06,259 --> 00:17:07,494
You're looking
Pretty good.
354
00:17:07,494 --> 00:17:10,263
Thank you, sam.
How are you doing?
355
00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:12,599
Oh, I've never been better
In my entire life.
356
00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:15,435
Oh, for god sakes,
Will you stop it, sam?
357
00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:17,304
You've been boozing
With two hands
358
00:17:17,304 --> 00:17:19,306
Ever since diane
Walked out on you.
359
00:17:19,306 --> 00:17:20,740
Sam, I'm so sorry.
360
00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:24,311
You know, you both
Are crazier than hell.
361
00:17:24,311 --> 00:17:26,313
I threw her out of here.
362
00:17:26,313 --> 00:17:29,349
And my drinking
Has got nothing,
Repeat, nothing,
363
00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:31,118
To do
With diane chambers.
364
00:17:31,118 --> 00:17:32,419
You hear that,
Everybody?
365
00:17:32,419 --> 00:17:33,453
Nothing!
Nothing!
Nothing!
366
00:17:33,453 --> 00:17:35,088
No, you're all wrong.
367
00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:36,223
Sorry!
Sorry!
Sorry!
368
00:17:36,223 --> 00:17:39,259
I did start drinking
When she left.
369
00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:40,660
I was celebrating.
370
00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:42,795
Celebrating the day
I got rid of you.
371
00:17:42,795 --> 00:17:44,030
You hear that,
Everybody?
372
00:17:44,030 --> 00:17:45,532
Celebrating!
Celebrating!
373
00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:50,270
Well, let me tell you
Something, sam.
374
00:17:50,270 --> 00:17:52,372
I have two birthdays now--
375
00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:55,074
One to mark the occasion
When my mother bore me
376
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:57,877
And one to commemorate
My glorious rebirth
377
00:17:57,877 --> 00:17:59,078
When I walked out of here.
378
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:00,480
Just one more time:
379
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,749
You did not walk
Out of here,
I kicked you out.
380
00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:04,016
And I would do it again,
381
00:18:04,016 --> 00:18:06,919
Except no man deserves
That much pleasure
In one life.
382
00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:10,056
Your brain could find shelter
In the shade of a snow pea.
383
00:18:10,056 --> 00:18:12,459
Hey!
No, sam.
384
00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:15,562
Please.
385
00:18:15,562 --> 00:18:18,931
I didn't come here
To fight with you.
386
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,700
I came here to help.
387
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,235
Ah.
388
00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:25,205
Well, I've never been
Happier in my entire life.
389
00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:26,373
What are you going
To do?
390
00:18:26,373 --> 00:18:28,275
Help me out of
All my happiness?
391
00:18:28,275 --> 00:18:29,942
You're the one person
Who could do it.
392
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:31,544
No.
393
00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:34,281
All I really want you to do
Is see a friend of mine.
394
00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:37,917
He's a man I met recently
At a sani--vacation.
395
00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:41,688
She's been locked up
In a home for the silly
396
00:18:41,688 --> 00:18:43,356
In connecticut
For three months.
397
00:18:43,356 --> 00:18:45,892
I was not locked up.
I could come and go at will.
398
00:18:45,892 --> 00:18:49,196
And besides, it's not true--
And how did you
Know about it?
399
00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:53,633
I got a cousin who's
A private dick.
400
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,968
I wanted to find out
If you were really gone,
401
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:58,805
And you were
Really gone.
402
00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:02,342
I entered golden brook
Of my own volition
403
00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:05,745
For a little rest,
Relaxation...
404
00:19:05,745 --> 00:19:07,113
[sam laughing]
405
00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:08,581
What are you
Laughing at?
406
00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:10,750
Well...
407
00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:13,753
I've had women
Get depressed
When they left me,
408
00:19:13,753 --> 00:19:15,888
But I've never had one
That went...
409
00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:17,890
Bee-bee-buh-buh!
410
00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:25,498
Charm like yours is
A hard thing to live
Without all right.
411
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:28,034
It had nothing
To do with you, sam.
412
00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:29,636
After I left here,
413
00:19:29,636 --> 00:19:31,638
I decided I needed
To regroup.
414
00:19:31,638 --> 00:19:35,107
I needed to go someplace
And take a good look at myself.
415
00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:38,311
Ah. Shock treatment.
416
00:19:38,311 --> 00:19:42,014
Carla,
Let's help sam first,
417
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:43,750
And when the psychiatric
Profession
418
00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:45,752
Has gained confidence
From that triumph,
419
00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:50,323
We'll put every man jack
Of them on your case.
420
00:19:50,323 --> 00:19:53,726
Sam, will you please
Just meet this man?
421
00:19:54,927 --> 00:19:57,297
Come on, diane, look...
422
00:19:57,297 --> 00:19:59,299
Yeah,
I'm drinking again,
423
00:19:59,299 --> 00:20:01,368
But it's not--
It's not the same thing.
424
00:20:01,368 --> 00:20:04,937
This time it's good-time
Controlled drinking.
425
00:20:04,937 --> 00:20:07,507
Before, it was negative.
Now it's for fun.
426
00:20:07,507 --> 00:20:10,643
It won't kill you to
Talk to the guy, sam.
427
00:20:10,643 --> 00:20:12,445
Coach!
428
00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:14,146
It's a waste of time.
429
00:20:14,146 --> 00:20:15,515
Am I right, carla?
430
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:22,855
See what the stick's
Friend has got to say.
431
00:20:22,855 --> 00:20:25,024
Oh, come on, carla.
432
00:20:25,024 --> 00:20:26,659
You listening
To this, guys?
433
00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:29,662
Sammy, I just want
To say this
434
00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:31,431
Because you're my
Friend, all right?
435
00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:32,699
Don't get all
Defensive,
436
00:20:32,699 --> 00:20:34,401
But maybe you are
Drinking
437
00:20:34,401 --> 00:20:35,802
A little more than
You should.
438
00:20:35,802 --> 00:20:36,736
So are you.
439
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:39,906
I already have
A mother, lush-face.
440
00:20:42,809 --> 00:20:46,646
Sorry. I just think
441
00:20:46,646 --> 00:20:48,080
Maybe you ought
To hear the guy out.
442
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:51,418
Sammy, the way I see it
Is it can't do any harm.
443
00:20:51,418 --> 00:20:53,386
I mean psychiatry's
Come a long way
444
00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:56,255
Since
The snake pit age.
445
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:59,692
Sam...They're all
Trying to tell you
446
00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:00,560
You need help.
447
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:01,861
I know what
They're saying,
448
00:21:01,861 --> 00:21:03,430
And I know why
They're saying it.
449
00:21:03,430 --> 00:21:05,798
Coach here got them
All to gang up on me.
450
00:21:05,798 --> 00:21:06,833
Boy, I tell you,
451
00:21:06,833 --> 00:21:08,935
When you try to be
A fun-loving drunk,
452
00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:10,970
You sure find out
Who your friends are.
453
00:21:10,970 --> 00:21:13,640
Ok, fine, sam, forget it.
Drink all you want.
454
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,642
But I know the real reason
You're doing it.
455
00:21:15,642 --> 00:21:18,177
Oh, what are you
Talking about?
What real reason?
456
00:21:18,177 --> 00:21:21,448
You're afraid
That I'm right about
You and the doctor.
457
00:21:21,448 --> 00:21:23,616
And one thing in
The world you can't stand
458
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:25,885
Is admitting that I'm right
About anything.
459
00:21:25,885 --> 00:21:27,820
Wrong again.
460
00:21:30,056 --> 00:21:31,591
You're scared, sam.
461
00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:38,431
Ok.
462
00:21:38,431 --> 00:21:40,400
If I go see this guy
And he tells me
463
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:42,602
That I'm just a happy,
Well-adjusted souse,
464
00:21:42,602 --> 00:21:45,705
Which he will
If the quack has
A brain in his head,
465
00:21:45,705 --> 00:21:48,007
Would you all please
Leave me alone?
466
00:21:48,007 --> 00:21:49,376
Of course. Won't we?
467
00:21:49,376 --> 00:21:51,911
Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
Yeah, sure.
468
00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:57,617
Ok, fine.
Tell him to drop by.
469
00:21:57,617 --> 00:21:59,819
I'll try to fit him in
Between dames.
470
00:21:59,819 --> 00:22:02,054
Why don't you say hello
To him right now.
471
00:22:02,054 --> 00:22:04,724
Hello, sam.
472
00:22:04,724 --> 00:22:07,960
I'm dr. Frasier crane.
I'm sorry I startled you.
473
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:09,962
This is weird.
474
00:22:09,962 --> 00:22:13,065
Diane told me that
You're basically
475
00:22:13,065 --> 00:22:14,233
A good,
Open-minded person
476
00:22:14,233 --> 00:22:15,735
And that you'd
Be responsive,
477
00:22:15,735 --> 00:22:17,704
So I took the liberty
Of dropping by
A little early.
478
00:22:17,704 --> 00:22:19,372
She actually said something
Nice about me, huh?
479
00:22:19,372 --> 00:22:22,174
She says a lot of nice
Things about you.
480
00:22:22,174 --> 00:22:24,276
Really?
481
00:22:24,276 --> 00:22:26,312
So let's say
We go somewhere
482
00:22:26,312 --> 00:22:28,448
And have a cup of coffee
483
00:22:28,448 --> 00:22:31,884
And get to know
Each other.
484
00:22:31,884 --> 00:22:34,921
Ok, fine.
485
00:22:34,921 --> 00:22:38,825
A few cups of irish coffee
And a chat it is.
486
00:22:38,825 --> 00:22:40,927
You mind if I freshen up
A little bit?
487
00:22:40,927 --> 00:22:41,994
Fine.
488
00:22:41,994 --> 00:22:43,162
Thank you, sam.
489
00:22:43,162 --> 00:22:47,333
Boy, you sure are
Back in here
490
00:22:47,333 --> 00:22:48,468
For somebody
Who said
491
00:22:48,468 --> 00:22:50,069
They were never
Coming back in here.
492
00:22:51,504 --> 00:22:53,706
Human beings
Change, sam.
493
00:22:53,706 --> 00:22:55,708
I've changed.
So can you.
494
00:22:55,708 --> 00:22:57,910
And rest assured,
My coming here
495
00:22:57,910 --> 00:22:59,178
Is a one-time visit.
496
00:22:59,178 --> 00:23:00,747
Correct me if I'm wrong,
497
00:23:00,747 --> 00:23:05,051
But you just
Called me human
For the first time.
498
00:23:06,686 --> 00:23:10,923
I guess I just needed
A little time to
Think about it.
499
00:23:18,230 --> 00:23:20,099
I knew it.
What?
500
00:23:20,099 --> 00:23:21,200
I knew it.
501
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:22,201
What? Knew what?
502
00:23:22,201 --> 00:23:23,570
Are you kidding me,
Coach?
503
00:23:23,570 --> 00:23:25,404
Don't you see what's
Going on here?
504
00:23:25,404 --> 00:23:27,239
She's nuts about me.
505
00:23:27,239 --> 00:23:28,307
Her young
Dr. Killjoy there
506
00:23:28,307 --> 00:23:30,209
Is just her way of
Saving face
507
00:23:30,209 --> 00:23:31,744
To get back in the bar.
508
00:23:31,744 --> 00:23:32,812
I don't know, sam.
509
00:23:32,812 --> 00:23:35,915
Oh, come on,
I know the look.
510
00:23:35,915 --> 00:23:38,184
She's in love.
511
00:23:39,752 --> 00:23:41,521
Well,
I have to run.
512
00:23:41,521 --> 00:23:43,089
Diane, you're
A remarkable woman
513
00:23:43,089 --> 00:23:46,358
To help a man
Who's caused you
So much grief.
514
00:23:46,358 --> 00:23:48,795
I'm free of it now, frasier.
515
00:23:48,795 --> 00:23:50,730
I'm free
Of so many things
516
00:23:50,730 --> 00:23:54,767
Now that I've fallen
In love with you.
517
00:23:54,767 --> 00:23:58,538
I am the luckiest
Person on earth.
518
00:23:58,538 --> 00:24:01,073
The second luckiest.
519
00:24:01,073 --> 00:24:03,943
Not...Here, diane.
520
00:24:05,244 --> 00:24:06,312
Of course.
521
00:24:06,312 --> 00:24:07,614
I get carried away
Sometimes.
522
00:24:07,614 --> 00:24:09,415
I understand.
523
00:24:09,415 --> 00:24:11,518
That's why I love you.
524
00:24:26,799 --> 00:24:29,001
[theme music playing]
36942
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