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1
00:00:02,770 --> 00:00:04,672
Carla: hey. Cheers is filmed
Before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:04,672 --> 00:00:07,575
Remember when I said
You are the nuttiest,
3
00:00:07,575 --> 00:00:08,942
The stupidest,
4
00:00:08,942 --> 00:00:11,345
The phoniest fruitcake
I ever met!
5
00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:14,548
You, sam malone,
Are the most arrogant,
Self-centered--
6
00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:15,949
Shut your fat mouth.
7
00:00:15,949 --> 00:00:17,818
Make me.
8
00:00:17,818 --> 00:00:18,819
Make you?
9
00:00:18,819 --> 00:00:19,853
I'm going
To bounce you
10
00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:22,390
Off every wall
In this office!
11
00:00:22,390 --> 00:00:25,526
Try it and you'll be
Walking funny tomorrow.
12
00:00:27,795 --> 00:00:29,797
Or should I
Say funnier?
13
00:00:29,797 --> 00:00:31,299
You know--
14
00:00:31,299 --> 00:00:33,801
You know,
I always wanted
To pop you one.
15
00:00:33,801 --> 00:00:35,803
Maybe this
Is my lucky day.
16
00:00:35,803 --> 00:00:38,139
You disgust me.
I hate you.
17
00:00:38,139 --> 00:00:39,140
Are you as
Turned on as I am?
18
00:00:39,140 --> 00:00:41,142
More.
Bet me.
19
00:00:48,182 --> 00:00:51,085
It sure
Got quiet in there
All of a sudden.
20
00:00:51,085 --> 00:00:53,821
You don't think
He killed her?
21
00:00:53,821 --> 00:00:58,159
Nah. Even in death
She wouldn't be
That quiet.
22
00:00:58,159 --> 00:00:59,193
What do you think
They're doing in there
23
00:00:59,193 --> 00:01:01,061
If they're not fighting?
24
00:01:08,602 --> 00:01:11,172
* making the way
In the world today *
25
00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:14,175
* takes everything you've got *
26
00:01:14,175 --> 00:01:16,810
* taking a break
From all your worries *
27
00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:19,680
* sure would help a lot *
28
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:23,251
* wouldn't you like
To get away *
29
00:01:26,187 --> 00:01:27,755
* sometimes
You want to go *
30
00:01:27,755 --> 00:01:31,592
* where everybody
Knows your name *
31
00:01:33,394 --> 00:01:36,797
* and they're always
Glad you came *
32
00:01:38,199 --> 00:01:40,468
* you want to be
Where you can see *
33
00:01:40,468 --> 00:01:43,103
* our troubles
Are all the same *
34
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,338
* you want to be *
35
00:01:44,338 --> 00:01:48,409
* where everybody knows
Your name *
36
00:01:48,409 --> 00:01:51,044
* you want to go
Where people know *
37
00:01:51,044 --> 00:01:53,514
* people are all the same *
38
00:01:53,514 --> 00:01:57,618
* you want to go where everybody
Knows your name *
39
00:02:19,072 --> 00:02:21,642
Well, isn't it nice
That for once
We're not fighting?
40
00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:24,212
Oh, yes. Oh, yes.
41
00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:33,221
Let's go someplace,
42
00:02:33,221 --> 00:02:37,090
Someplace where we
Can express what
We're feeling now.
43
00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:38,926
Great.
How about the couch?
44
00:02:40,728 --> 00:02:42,263
The couch.
45
00:02:44,532 --> 00:02:47,000
Who said we always
Had to be serious?
46
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:50,238
Will you stop joking?
47
00:02:50,238 --> 00:02:52,906
I--I want to go
Someplace...Intimate,
48
00:02:52,906 --> 00:02:56,277
Someplace...Romantic.
49
00:02:56,277 --> 00:02:58,279
Oh, yeah. Ok.
All right.
50
00:02:58,279 --> 00:03:00,281
Romantic. Yeah.
51
00:03:00,281 --> 00:03:02,950
My apartment?
52
00:03:02,950 --> 00:03:04,352
Your apartment?
53
00:03:04,352 --> 00:03:06,687
There I go again, huh?
54
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,289
No. I think
That's a good idea.
55
00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:10,224
Well,
That's why I said it.
56
00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:13,661
Yes. Your apartment,
The place you spend
Half your life,
57
00:03:13,661 --> 00:03:15,128
And I've never
Even seen it.
58
00:03:15,128 --> 00:03:16,497
It seems so right.
59
00:03:16,497 --> 00:03:18,499
I think you're
Gonna like it.
60
00:03:18,499 --> 00:03:21,302
I'll give you
My, uh...
61
00:03:21,302 --> 00:03:24,204
Famous
Guided tour...
62
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:25,973
Starting
In the bedroom.
63
00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:30,778
And ending in heaven.
64
00:03:40,187 --> 00:03:41,855
Come on.
65
00:03:41,855 --> 00:03:42,990
Oh, sam.
66
00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:44,425
What, what?
67
00:03:44,425 --> 00:03:46,427
I've changed
My mind.
68
00:03:50,364 --> 00:03:54,134
No, no. I mean
About your apartment.
69
00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:56,337
I'm sorry. I know
You're gonna think
I'm overly sensitive,
70
00:03:56,337 --> 00:04:00,107
But, sam, you've been
With a lot of women--
71
00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:01,442
No, I have not.
72
00:04:01,442 --> 00:04:03,210
There haven't been
That many women.
73
00:04:03,210 --> 00:04:04,845
That gets exaggerated
Here in the bar.
74
00:04:04,845 --> 00:04:07,180
There haven't been
That many, really.
75
00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:09,249
How many
Have there been?
76
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,718
Well, I don't know.
77
00:04:10,718 --> 00:04:12,620
Maybe, uh...400.
78
00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:14,422
Ohh!
79
00:04:14,422 --> 00:04:17,224
Honeys, honeys.
Four honeys.
80
00:04:17,224 --> 00:04:18,492
Maybe that's more
Than my share,
81
00:04:18,492 --> 00:04:19,760
But it's all
Behind me now.
82
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:22,430
Well, you see,
That's what I mean.
83
00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:25,065
I want
To be...Special.
84
00:04:25,065 --> 00:04:26,567
I want
To go someplace
85
00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:28,802
Where you've
Never been with
Any other woman.
86
00:04:28,802 --> 00:04:32,440
All right, ok,
That's easy enough.
87
00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:35,108
Uh, like--like where?
88
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:38,045
How about a hotel?
89
00:04:38,045 --> 00:04:39,913
Oh, yeah. Oh.
90
00:04:39,913 --> 00:04:42,850
That's great,
That's great.
91
00:04:42,850 --> 00:04:44,885
But one
You've never been
With anyone else.
92
00:04:44,885 --> 00:04:46,554
Well, all right.
93
00:04:48,756 --> 00:04:50,958
That's easy,
That's easy.
94
00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:55,596
Ok.
Hotels, hotels.
95
00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:57,598
Hey,
There we go.
96
00:04:57,598 --> 00:05:00,634
Nope.
97
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:03,003
Nope.
98
00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:04,738
Well, I'll be darned.
99
00:05:05,873 --> 00:05:07,307
Forget it.
100
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,076
Come on. We're
Being silly here.
101
00:05:09,076 --> 00:05:11,745
Why don't we--
Why don't we go
To your place?
102
00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:16,850
Well, I guess that
Could be all right.
103
00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:17,818
Oh, great.
104
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:21,389
Oh, wait.
Sam, it's so filthy.
105
00:05:21,389 --> 00:05:23,123
Oh, no, no,
It doesn't
Have to be,
106
00:05:23,123 --> 00:05:25,058
Not if we care
About each other.
107
00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:35,002
No. I mean
My apartment.
108
00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:36,937
I haven't
Straightened up
For days.
109
00:05:36,937 --> 00:05:40,140
I don't care about
That kind of thing.
It doesn't matter.
110
00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:41,575
As long
As we're together,
111
00:05:41,575 --> 00:05:43,711
It doesn't matter
Where we are.
112
00:05:43,711 --> 00:05:47,615
Oh, sam,
That's beautiful.
113
00:05:47,615 --> 00:05:51,051
We're not talking
Pigsty, are we?
114
00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:53,487
No, of course not.
115
00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:55,155
All right, then.
All right, come on.
116
00:05:55,155 --> 00:05:57,090
Ok.
117
00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:58,626
Oh, boy.
118
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:04,765
She better be great.
119
00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:09,870
I know that
You must be curious
120
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:13,106
About what sam and I
Were talking about.
121
00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:15,809
We want
To be totally
Honest with you.
122
00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:17,478
Um...
123
00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:24,317
It is said
That fools rush in
124
00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:26,520
Where wise men
Fear to tread,
125
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:29,757
But the heart has
A wisdom of its own.
126
00:06:29,757 --> 00:06:31,525
Sam and I
Have decided
127
00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:35,463
To traverse
The fall line
Of our aloneness.
128
00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:41,569
What's she talking
About, sammy?
129
00:06:41,569 --> 00:06:43,837
I don't know. Um...
130
00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:45,372
Does this
Have anything to do
131
00:06:45,372 --> 00:06:46,540
With what we were
Talking about in there?
132
00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:48,341
Of course.
133
00:06:48,341 --> 00:06:49,710
Diane and I decided
134
00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:52,646
We're going to start
Messing around.
135
00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:55,683
Great.
There you go.
136
00:06:55,683 --> 00:06:57,585
So we'll
See you all later.
137
00:06:57,585 --> 00:06:58,686
There you go.
138
00:06:58,686 --> 00:07:00,353
You want a refill?
139
00:07:00,353 --> 00:07:02,022
Wait, wait, wait.
140
00:07:02,022 --> 00:07:05,358
I feel damned
By faint praise.
What's wrong?
141
00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:06,560
What do you mean
What's wrong?
142
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,028
Nothing's wrong.
No.
143
00:07:09,897 --> 00:07:13,601
You don't seem very happy
About our announcement.
144
00:07:13,601 --> 00:07:17,104
Well, diane, it's
Just kind of sudden.
145
00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:18,572
Sudden.
146
00:07:18,572 --> 00:07:20,140
It's just happening
Kind of fast.
147
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:22,910
Yeah, we wish you
All the luck
In the world.
148
00:07:22,910 --> 00:07:25,045
Yeah.
It won't be enough.
149
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,949
Oh, no. No.
150
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:30,984
I know what
You're thinking.
151
00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:32,620
You're thinking
That sam and I
152
00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:35,122
Have different
Backgrounds,
Ambitions, dreams.
153
00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:36,990
Well,
Let me tell you.
154
00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:39,960
We have one thing
Very much in common.
155
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:40,928
I got it.
156
00:07:40,928 --> 00:07:43,030
They were both
Born brunette.
157
00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:48,468
No.
158
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:49,937
We have
A willingness
159
00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:52,272
To be vulnerable
To one another.
160
00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:53,641
I think
I see a trip
161
00:07:53,641 --> 00:07:56,610
To ye old leash
And leather shop coming.
162
00:08:01,348 --> 00:08:02,850
I am sorry
163
00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:04,718
That you're
All so cynical
164
00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:06,887
That you can't
Accept sam and me.
165
00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:08,789
Well, it doesn't
Bother us.
166
00:08:08,789 --> 00:08:10,591
We believe in us,
Right, sam?
167
00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:12,626
Yeah. You bet.
It's going to be great.
168
00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:14,562
We'll have a lot fun.
169
00:08:14,562 --> 00:08:16,029
I may have to work
A little harder on this one,
170
00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:17,598
But it's gonna be
Worth it.
171
00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:19,466
Thank you, sam.
172
00:08:19,466 --> 00:08:21,434
You're welcome.
173
00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:23,370
Now if you will
Excuse us,
174
00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:25,673
We are going
To go out
175
00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:29,342
And begin
Our lives together.
176
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,845
There is more
In heaven and earth
177
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:34,181
Than is dreamt of
In your beer mugs.
178
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:35,816
What did you mean
179
00:08:35,816 --> 00:08:37,651
You're gonna have to work
A little harder on this one?
180
00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:39,486
I said it off
The top of my head.
181
00:08:39,486 --> 00:08:41,955
I think it might
Be misunderstood.
182
00:08:54,001 --> 00:08:57,470
Thanks for picking
The flowers for me
In the park.
183
00:08:57,470 --> 00:09:00,140
Well, thank you
For paying the fine.
184
00:09:02,342 --> 00:09:03,811
We make
A good team, huh?
185
00:09:03,811 --> 00:09:06,413
So what do you think
Of my place?
186
00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:07,648
Very nice.
187
00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:10,217
Is this the bedroom?
188
00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:13,687
Nice? I want you to know
That I'm putting
A lot of energy
189
00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:15,856
Into the decorating
Of this place.
190
00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:17,958
It shows.
Where's the light?
191
00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:19,727
It's over
By the bed.
192
00:09:19,727 --> 00:09:23,463
Oh! I think I just
Stepped on your cat.
193
00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:26,233
Oh, my god,
I think I just killed it.
194
00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:27,534
No, my mistake.
195
00:09:27,534 --> 00:09:29,670
I just stepped
On your giraffe.
196
00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:32,105
Oh, mr. Jammers.
197
00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:37,945
This place is lousy
With stuffed animals.
198
00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:40,280
They're not
Stuffed animals.
199
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:41,281
They're my friends.
200
00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:42,549
Let me introduce you.
201
00:09:42,549 --> 00:09:43,884
Mr. Jammers you've met.
202
00:09:43,884 --> 00:09:46,486
And over here, we have
Freddy frogbottom.
203
00:09:46,486 --> 00:09:48,956
You named all
These silly things?
204
00:09:48,956 --> 00:09:50,557
Ah-ah!
Don't call them silly.
205
00:09:50,557 --> 00:09:54,261
Mr. Buzzer
Will sting you.
206
00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:56,797
Mr. Buzzer?
Don't tell me.
Let me guess.
207
00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:58,498
That must be the bee,
Right?
208
00:09:58,498 --> 00:10:01,201
Boy, this is definitely
Weird, diane.
209
00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:08,508
That is exactly
What's wrong with you.
210
00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:10,310
What's wrong
With me?
211
00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:11,845
Yes.
212
00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:13,213
I should have known
213
00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:15,716
You wouldn't have
Any imagination about this,
214
00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:17,284
No sense of whimsy.
215
00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:18,786
You're so earthbound,
216
00:10:18,786 --> 00:10:20,754
So uninspired.
217
00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:23,757
Can't believe you're
Making such a big
Deal out of this.
218
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:26,593
Sam malone...
219
00:10:26,593 --> 00:10:28,428
Those animals happen
To be a part of me.
220
00:10:28,428 --> 00:10:30,497
Now, why can't
You indulge that
Without--
221
00:10:30,497 --> 00:10:32,532
What are you doing?
222
00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:35,268
I'm taking
My pants off.
223
00:10:35,268 --> 00:10:36,770
Why?
224
00:10:36,770 --> 00:10:39,372
Well, not to give
Mr. Buzzer a target.
225
00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:43,510
We're arguing. We're
Having a fight.
226
00:10:43,510 --> 00:10:46,146
How could you
Take your pants off
227
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,514
When we're
Having a fight?
228
00:10:47,514 --> 00:10:49,116
It's not gonna
Last all night.
229
00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:51,885
I don't want
To be overdressed
When it ends.
230
00:10:51,885 --> 00:10:53,921
Get out of here.
Get out of my apartment.
231
00:10:53,921 --> 00:10:55,422
You want me to leave?
232
00:10:55,422 --> 00:10:56,957
I demand that you leave.
233
00:10:56,957 --> 00:10:59,026
Well, let me just tell you
A little rule I have.
234
00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:00,761
Mr. Malone
Takes his pants off,
235
00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:02,395
He doesn't put them
Back on again
236
00:11:02,395 --> 00:11:04,297
Until he finishes
Business.
237
00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:05,532
Bet me!
238
00:11:05,532 --> 00:11:08,035
Diane, would you
Please---
239
00:11:08,035 --> 00:11:09,536
Would you
Give me a break
240
00:11:09,536 --> 00:11:11,972
And let me
Put my--
241
00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:13,807
You are despicable.
242
00:11:13,807 --> 00:11:17,077
I never want
To look at your fat,
Ugly face again.
243
00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:18,378
Get out.
244
00:11:18,378 --> 00:11:21,782
Come on, I'm losing
The mood here, diane.
245
00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:27,620
You'll lose a lot
More than that.
246
00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:29,890
Wait a second.
247
00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:31,391
You want
To know the truth?
248
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:34,661
It wasn't 4 women.
It was 400 women,
Easy.
249
00:11:34,661 --> 00:11:36,196
They'd have to be.
250
00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:52,846
You know
What I was
Just thinking.
251
00:11:52,846 --> 00:11:55,515
Most of the guys
I broke into
The majors with
252
00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:57,717
Are all
Gone now.
253
00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:00,353
You mean gone
To the great beyond, coach?
254
00:12:00,353 --> 00:12:02,790
No, alan. Dead.
255
00:12:02,790 --> 00:12:04,691
No, I--I--
256
00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:06,393
I can't
Understand it.
257
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:08,028
You know,
You wonder.
258
00:12:08,028 --> 00:12:10,630
You're born.
You grow up.
You die.
259
00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:13,000
Is that the end?
Is that it?
260
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:17,504
There's various
Theories about
An afterlife, coach.
261
00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:20,941
You know, millions
Believe in reincarnation.
262
00:12:20,941 --> 00:12:24,611
You mean when you come
Back as a chicken?
263
00:12:24,611 --> 00:12:28,081
Not necessarily
As a chicken, coach.
264
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:30,818
The hindus believe
That what you come back as
265
00:12:30,818 --> 00:12:32,786
Depends on your behavior
In this life.
266
00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:34,021
You know,
If you led a good life,
267
00:12:34,021 --> 00:12:36,857
You'll come back
In an elevated state.
268
00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:38,992
Like colorado.
269
00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:44,331
No, coach, more like
A king or a prince.
270
00:12:44,331 --> 00:12:47,868
Conversely, uh, if you've
Not led a good life,
271
00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:50,670
You'll come back
In a more lowly condition.
272
00:12:50,670 --> 00:12:54,307
Last time out,
I must have made a real
Ass out of myself.
273
00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:59,212
I figure if you're dead,
You're dead,
274
00:12:59,212 --> 00:13:00,713
And that's
What it should be.
275
00:13:00,713 --> 00:13:03,516
Just the idea of living forever
Doesn't appeal to me.
276
00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:05,518
Yeah, I can
See why, paul.
277
00:13:09,589 --> 00:13:11,324
Oh, hey, sam.
278
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:14,327
Sammy, what do you think
About death, huh?
279
00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:16,363
Too good for her.
280
00:13:16,363 --> 00:13:19,532
I don't want
To talk to anyone.
I mean that.
281
00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:22,035
I knew it.
282
00:13:22,035 --> 00:13:24,838
Yeah, we told him so.
Had to happen.
283
00:13:24,838 --> 00:13:26,573
He wouldn't
Listen to us.
284
00:13:26,573 --> 00:13:29,576
...Will ya, norm,
There's something wrong
With sam and diane.
285
00:13:29,576 --> 00:13:32,045
Coach, we're talking
About sam and diane.
286
00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:34,614
Oh, we are?
Well, that's better.
287
00:13:34,614 --> 00:13:36,016
It's none
Of our business.
288
00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:37,417
I think we ought
To do something
About it.
289
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:39,119
We didn't
Exactly give them
Our blessings
290
00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:40,954
When they left here.
When you get right
Down to it,
291
00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:42,355
Everybody
Deserves a chance.
292
00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:44,925
I think we owe sam
An apology.
293
00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:46,593
I'm gonna have
A chat with sam.
294
00:13:46,593 --> 00:13:49,629
He made it clear
That he doesn't want
To be disturbed.
295
00:13:49,629 --> 00:13:50,998
He didn't mean me.
296
00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:53,433
Sammy and I are pals.
We're tight.
297
00:13:55,735 --> 00:13:58,071
Sammy, norm.
298
00:13:58,071 --> 00:14:00,440
Get the hell
Out of here!
299
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:03,043
You bet, buddy.
300
00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:05,845
That was
Inspiring, norm.
301
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,614
I'm sorry.
302
00:14:07,614 --> 00:14:10,650
We're sorry.
We're all just a little
Sorry about what we said
303
00:14:10,650 --> 00:14:11,952
About you and diane.
304
00:14:11,952 --> 00:14:14,421
You're no worse a match
Than anybody else.
305
00:14:14,421 --> 00:14:16,523
Any two people are
Gonna be a long shot.
306
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:19,492
Yeah, right, sammy,
You know, long shots
Come in sometime.
307
00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:20,994
Maybe this one will.
308
00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:23,530
No, no, no.
You guys were right.
309
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,598
I must have lost
My mind there for a minute.
310
00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:30,370
Tell you, though. The old
Sam malone is back, boys.
Ready for action.
311
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:32,572
I'm gonna grab
The first woman that comes by
312
00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:34,474
And I'm gonna go crazy.
313
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:41,348
Yeah, carla, what is it?
314
00:14:41,348 --> 00:14:43,483
Nothing.
315
00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:45,018
Yeah, it feels good
316
00:14:45,018 --> 00:14:47,254
To be finally...
Rid of her. Ha!
317
00:14:47,254 --> 00:14:49,022
Coach, let me
Have a soda here.
318
00:14:49,022 --> 00:14:50,490
I tell you,
Things are gonna be
319
00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:52,192
A lot more the way
They used to be
Around here
320
00:14:52,192 --> 00:14:54,594
Than they ever were.
Glad to hear you
Say that, sam.
321
00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:56,496
You're gonna be
The better man for it.
322
00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:58,966
Hey, coach, you're not
Buying this, are you?
323
00:14:58,966 --> 00:15:01,935
Buying it? Carla,
I'm not even following it.
324
00:15:04,671 --> 00:15:06,573
Hey, carla,
I mean it.
325
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:09,309
Oh, yeah,
I believe you,
Sammy, I do.
326
00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:12,079
But you know,
I could tell you
How to get diane back.
327
00:15:12,079 --> 00:15:13,880
I'll tell you what.
328
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:15,915
If you're interested,
329
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:18,285
I'll be at the end
Of the bar here.
330
00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:33,933
Well, it's got to be
Good for a laugh.
331
00:15:41,841 --> 00:15:44,511
How?
332
00:15:44,511 --> 00:15:47,514
Women have always come
Pretty easy to you, sammy.
333
00:15:47,514 --> 00:15:49,549
Now you have finally
Got yourself a toughie.
334
00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:51,951
Let me tell you
How to handle her.
335
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:55,155
Now, I don't care
What we women say
336
00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:56,556
When we get dressed up
337
00:15:56,556 --> 00:16:00,193
And go on
The phil donahue show.
338
00:16:00,193 --> 00:16:04,031
Every woman wants
To be controlled,
339
00:16:04,031 --> 00:16:06,033
Even your
Miss egghead there.
340
00:16:06,033 --> 00:16:08,068
Women like power, sammy,
341
00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:11,071
Raw, naked power.
342
00:16:11,071 --> 00:16:12,872
The reason I stayed
With nick so long
343
00:16:12,872 --> 00:16:15,042
Was because
He had power.
344
00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:17,377
Sure, he was
A gentlemen, sometimes,
345
00:16:17,377 --> 00:16:21,281
Like he would take me out
To a romantic dinner
346
00:16:21,281 --> 00:16:23,683
At a fancy restaurant.
347
00:16:23,683 --> 00:16:27,554
They'd call our number,
And he'd go get it.
348
00:16:31,358 --> 00:16:34,061
But once we got behind
That bedroom door, sammy,
349
00:16:34,061 --> 00:16:35,862
He called the shots.
350
00:16:35,862 --> 00:16:37,430
She's right, sam.
351
00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:39,499
You know, one time
I had to get
Tough with vera,
352
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,301
Lay down the law,
353
00:16:41,301 --> 00:16:43,536
Next night I came
Home, she was
Waiting for me
354
00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:46,473
Wearing nothing but
A saran wrap bikini.
355
00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:51,211
I haven't been
Able to look at
A sandwich since.
356
00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:59,386
You know, you're right.
357
00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:01,821
I mean,
I have let her have her way
358
00:17:01,821 --> 00:17:04,557
Every step
In this relationship.
359
00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:07,194
She is, she is,
She's leading me
Around by the nose.
360
00:17:07,194 --> 00:17:08,895
I tell you, she's not gonna
Do it anymore.
361
00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:10,297
She's picked
The wrong guy
362
00:17:10,297 --> 00:17:11,731
To have
A power play with.
363
00:17:11,731 --> 00:17:13,133
She'll love it.
364
00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:14,501
You know what I'm gonna do?
365
00:17:14,501 --> 00:17:16,169
I'm gonna go over there
And I'm gonna tell
366
00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:18,138
Our little miss chambers
There's a time to put up
367
00:17:18,138 --> 00:17:19,706
And there's
A time to shut up.
368
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:21,174
Yeah!
369
00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:23,910
And this is the time for her
To put up and shut up.
370
00:17:23,910 --> 00:17:25,778
She'll have him
For breakfast.
371
00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:26,979
He's a goner.
372
00:17:26,979 --> 00:17:28,748
He's dead in the water.
373
00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:33,653
So tell me, where did you
Get a tan like that?
374
00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:35,522
Were you in the sun
Or something?
375
00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:38,024
My tan? What are
You talking about?
Look at your tan.
376
00:17:38,024 --> 00:17:39,792
I love the sun.
You know,
377
00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:41,661
I couldn't live where
There wasn't any sun.
378
00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:44,197
Oh, I know. I don't
Know how prisoners
Stand it.
379
00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:45,565
[knock on door]
380
00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:46,866
Diane, open up.
381
00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:49,269
Go away, sam.
382
00:17:49,269 --> 00:17:51,871
I'm meditating.
383
00:17:51,871 --> 00:17:53,373
Open the door,
Diane.
384
00:17:53,373 --> 00:17:55,675
I have something
I want to say.
385
00:18:02,449 --> 00:18:04,184
Oh, sam, how much more
Evidence do you need
386
00:18:04,184 --> 00:18:06,386
That we were not
Made in heaven?
387
00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:08,888
We turn into idiots
In each other's company.
388
00:18:08,888 --> 00:18:11,958
The difference
In your case
Is barely perceptible.
389
00:18:11,958 --> 00:18:14,327
But it's starting
To bother me.
390
00:18:14,327 --> 00:18:16,229
Diane,
Open the door!
391
00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:17,664
This is the last
Time I'm gonna
Tell you.
392
00:18:17,664 --> 00:18:19,366
Well, who the hell
Do you think you are?
393
00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:22,202
I'm sam malone,
And that was your
Last warning.
394
00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:23,336
[thump]
395
00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:24,904
What are you doing?
396
00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:25,905
[thump]
397
00:18:25,905 --> 00:18:27,674
Sam, stop it.
398
00:18:33,180 --> 00:18:34,214
Well,
Now you've done it.
399
00:18:34,214 --> 00:18:35,882
Uh-huh.
400
00:18:35,882 --> 00:18:37,950
Yes, you broke my door.
You're gonna pay for that, ape.
401
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,386
Ape?
402
00:18:39,386 --> 00:18:42,121
Oh, oh, I like that.
Yeah, I like that.
403
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,423
Ape.
You know,
404
00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:46,859
You are going to pay
For a lot of things.
405
00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:57,570
Now, get
In that bedroom, woman.
406
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:05,412
Ok.
407
00:19:08,781 --> 00:19:10,883
Sam.
408
00:19:10,883 --> 00:19:12,585
Would you
Give me a minute
409
00:19:12,585 --> 00:19:16,823
To slip into
Something flimsy?
410
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:19,158
Yeah, sure.
411
00:19:28,134 --> 00:19:30,603
[muffled voice]
412
00:19:32,205 --> 00:19:34,841
Diane?
413
00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:36,409
Yes?
414
00:19:36,409 --> 00:19:39,379
You talking
To somebody in there?
415
00:19:39,379 --> 00:19:42,549
Oh, I'm on the phone,
Sam. Just a second.
416
00:19:44,484 --> 00:19:47,720
You're making
A telephone call?
417
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,422
Who did you call?
418
00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:50,857
I was calling
The police.
419
00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:53,626
Would you like
Some coffee
While we wait?
420
00:19:57,497 --> 00:19:59,932
You were calling
The police? Why?
421
00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:02,302
If you're
Gonna act like
A marauding hun,
422
00:20:02,302 --> 00:20:04,304
You have to
Expect to be
Treated like one.
423
00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:05,738
You take cream,
Right?
424
00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:07,740
Yeah. Yeah, but--
No, no, no.
425
00:20:07,740 --> 00:20:09,309
What--what--
426
00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:10,677
Wait a minute here.
427
00:20:10,677 --> 00:20:13,313
Are you serious? You
Called the cops on me?
428
00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:15,114
Well, yes, I'm
Completely serious.
429
00:20:15,114 --> 00:20:17,617
I've got fresh ground,
But I think it might
Take a little time.
430
00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:19,752
They said
They'd be right over.
431
00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:22,322
No. Hey, come on,
Wait a second.
432
00:20:22,322 --> 00:20:25,625
I'm not--I'm not
Doing anything here.
433
00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:27,960
Sam, you--you broke
Into my apartment.
434
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:29,462
I have the evidence.
435
00:20:31,364 --> 00:20:33,232
You know, you...
436
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:34,667
You're a loon.
That's what you are.
437
00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:37,304
I'm getting the hell
Out of here.
438
00:20:37,304 --> 00:20:39,772
Oh, you have
To run, huh?
439
00:20:39,772 --> 00:20:44,344
Well, I'll just call
The police and give
Them your address.
440
00:20:44,344 --> 00:20:47,380
You make me
So mad sometimes.
441
00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:49,649
I'd like to take
Your face and--
442
00:20:49,649 --> 00:20:51,584
Excuse me.
443
00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:53,052
Be very careful.
What you say.
444
00:20:53,052 --> 00:20:54,287
It could
Be used against you
445
00:20:54,287 --> 00:20:55,955
In a court of law.
446
00:20:57,457 --> 00:20:59,526
So what's
The final verdict
On the coffee?
447
00:21:01,494 --> 00:21:05,197
What--what are you
Doing to me, diane?
448
00:21:05,197 --> 00:21:07,700
I'm losing
My mind here.
449
00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:10,169
The first time
I saw you, I said to myself,
450
00:21:10,169 --> 00:21:13,840
"Now, that could be the woman
Who's gonna make me happy
For the rest of my life."
451
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:18,745
Now I'd be happy
Just to stay out of jail.
452
00:21:18,745 --> 00:21:22,349
You make me sorry
I was ever born.
453
00:21:22,349 --> 00:21:24,283
Oh, god.
454
00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:26,285
Sam, I know
How you feel.
455
00:21:28,388 --> 00:21:30,590
Don't let them
Take me away, huh?
456
00:21:32,392 --> 00:21:35,628
Sam, I think
The important thing here
457
00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:38,531
Is that we both learned
Something tonight.
458
00:21:38,531 --> 00:21:42,402
You've learned that
Violence and hostility
459
00:21:42,402 --> 00:21:45,271
Have no place in
A romantic relationship.
460
00:21:45,271 --> 00:21:47,774
No, no place at all.
No place at all.
461
00:21:47,774 --> 00:21:50,443
And...
462
00:21:50,443 --> 00:21:52,412
I've discovered
Something, too.
463
00:21:52,412 --> 00:21:54,881
Oh, what?
464
00:21:54,881 --> 00:21:56,916
I like the lift part.
465
00:22:01,421 --> 00:22:03,990
I like it a lot.
466
00:22:19,238 --> 00:22:20,907
You know...
467
00:22:20,907 --> 00:22:23,810
You've made my life
A living hell.
468
00:22:23,810 --> 00:22:27,246
I didn't want you
To think I was easy.
469
00:22:27,246 --> 00:22:28,381
Oh.
470
00:22:28,381 --> 00:22:29,649
Oh, god.
471
00:22:29,649 --> 00:22:31,451
Oh.
472
00:22:34,887 --> 00:22:37,724
Why don't we just
Kick these things
Off the bed?
473
00:22:37,724 --> 00:22:40,326
Why don't you put them
In the other room?
Oh, come on.
474
00:22:40,326 --> 00:22:41,961
I'll be less inhibited
475
00:22:41,961 --> 00:22:44,230
If they're
In the other room.
Oh, ok, yeah.
476
00:22:44,230 --> 00:22:45,898
Yeah. Ok, now,
Be very careful
477
00:22:45,898 --> 00:22:49,101
Because some of them
Are old and sensitive.
478
00:22:51,270 --> 00:22:53,973
Don't you think maybe
You ought to call
The cops off?
479
00:22:53,973 --> 00:22:57,644
Oh, silly sam, I never
Called the police.
480
00:23:11,758 --> 00:23:15,728
Sam, will you make sure that
Gary gorilla and mr. Jammers
481
00:23:15,728 --> 00:23:19,265
Aren't next to each other.
They don't get along.
482
00:23:19,265 --> 00:23:21,100
Not to worry.
483
00:23:21,100 --> 00:23:22,902
They're a mile apart.
33947
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