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1
00:00:03,471 --> 00:00:05,106
YEAH, THAT WAS
MY POSTAL SUPERVISOR.
2
00:00:05,106 --> 00:00:06,240
THEY NEED ME
DOWN AT THE BRANCH OFFICE
3
00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:08,509
TO HELP HANDLE
THAT HOLIDAY DELUGE.
4
00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:10,878
AH, TERRIFIC,
AND NOW THIS.
5
00:00:10,878 --> 00:00:13,447
MY COAT'S
UNDERNEATH THIS MESS.
6
00:00:13,447 --> 00:00:14,582
ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY,
COME ON UP HERE
7
00:00:14,582 --> 00:00:16,084
AND GET YOUR JACKETS,
WILL YOU?
8
00:00:16,084 --> 00:00:17,718
THIS IS OFFICIAL
GOVERNMENT BUSINESS.
9
00:00:19,387 --> 00:00:20,788
CARLA.
10
00:00:20,788 --> 00:00:22,490
GOT IT, SAM.
11
00:00:22,490 --> 00:00:24,225
STAND BACK.
12
00:00:24,225 --> 00:00:25,593
I'M GOING IN.
13
00:00:29,497 --> 00:00:31,799
I'LL FIND YOU,
YOU LITTLE....
14
00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:41,309
[CHEERING]
15
00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:46,814
CARLA,
THIS IS OBVIOUSLY
NOT MY--
16
00:00:46,814 --> 00:00:50,251
PUT IT ON, OR I
TEAR OFF THE CLOTHES
YOU'RE WEARING.
17
00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:53,187
YES, MA'AM. YES.
GOD BLESS YOU,
CARLA.
18
00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:59,493
AH, WELL,
AT LEAST DOGS WON'T
ATTACK THEIR OWN, HUH?
19
00:01:06,334 --> 00:01:08,536
* MAKING THE WAY
IN THE WORLD TODAY *
20
00:01:08,536 --> 00:01:11,639
* TAKES EVERYTHING YOU'VE GOT *
21
00:01:11,639 --> 00:01:14,408
* TAKING A BREAK
FROM ALL YOUR WORRIES *
22
00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:17,678
* SURE WOULD HELP A LOT *
23
00:01:17,678 --> 00:01:21,215
* WOULDN'T YOU LIKE
TO GET AWAY *
24
00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:25,719
* SOMETIMES
YOU WANT TO GO *
25
00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:29,357
* WHERE EVERYBODY
KNOWS YOUR NAME *
26
00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:34,662
* AND THEY'RE ALWAYS
GLAD YOU CAME *
27
00:01:36,063 --> 00:01:38,332
* YOU WANT TO BE
WHERE YOU CAN SEE *
28
00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:40,968
* OUR TROUBLES
ARE ALL THE SAME *
29
00:01:40,968 --> 00:01:42,236
* YOU WANT TO BE *
30
00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:46,106
* WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS
YOUR NAME *
31
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:48,609
* YOU WANT TO GO
WHERE PEOPLE KNOW *
32
00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:51,044
* PEOPLE ARE ALL THE SAME *
33
00:01:51,044 --> 00:01:55,783
* YOU WANT TO GO WHERE EVERYBODY
KNOWS YOUR NAME *
34
00:02:14,168 --> 00:02:15,869
ALLOW ME.
35
00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:18,872
THANK YOU.
36
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,610
WATCH THIS.
37
00:02:24,245 --> 00:02:26,747
HOW DO YOU DO THAT
WITHOUT BURNING YOUR HAND?
38
00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:28,416
I DON'T.
39
00:02:32,220 --> 00:02:34,788
SAM, SHOW HER SOME
OF THE OTHER TRICKS.
40
00:02:34,788 --> 00:02:37,291
OH? YOU KNOW
A LOT OF TRICKS, DO YOU?
41
00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:39,260
YEAH,
I KNOW MY SHARE.
42
00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:42,630
SHOW HER THE ONE ABOUT
THE DISAPPEARING GIRLFRIEND.
43
00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:44,665
COME ON.
YOU'RE GOING
TO LIKE THIS ONE.
44
00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:45,766
WATCH THIS.
45
00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:52,373
WOO!
OOH!
OOH!
46
00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:58,346
GOOD EVENING.
WELCOME TO CHEERS.
47
00:02:58,346 --> 00:02:59,680
WHAT CAN I GET YOU?
48
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,682
WHAT'S YOUR
BARTENDER'S SPECIALTY?
49
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:04,452
HE'S GOT A GREAT BATCH
OF HOT BUTTERED RUM GOING.
HOW'S THAT?
50
00:03:04,452 --> 00:03:05,953
SOUNDS GOOD.
MAKE IT A DOUBLE.
51
00:03:05,953 --> 00:03:08,222
I'VE JUST HAD
THE WORST DAY
OF MY LIFE.
52
00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:11,459
WELL, YOU KNOW
WHAT I ALWAYS SAY?
53
00:03:11,459 --> 00:03:13,927
LIFE IS LIKE
A CHINESE BANQUET.
54
00:03:13,927 --> 00:03:17,598
BETWEEN THE PEEKING DUCK
AND THE SWEET AND SOUR FISH,
55
00:03:17,598 --> 00:03:19,633
YOU HAVE TO
EXPECT A LITTLE
CHICKEN FEET SOUP.
56
00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:21,902
SO LAUGH,
DARN YOU, LAUGH.
57
00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:25,806
I'VE JUST BEEN TOLD
I HAVE SIX MONTHS TO LIVE.
58
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:34,081
I'M SORRY.
59
00:03:34,081 --> 00:03:36,317
I DIDN'T MEAN
TO BE FACETIOUS.
60
00:03:36,317 --> 00:03:38,185
I'M TERRIBLY SORRY.
61
00:03:38,185 --> 00:03:40,020
I WENT ON AND ON
LIKE A NINNY.
62
00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:42,323
MAYBE I SHOULD
GET YOU SOMETHING?
63
00:03:43,824 --> 00:03:48,329
SAM, HOW DO YOU
DO THIS TRICK?
YOU KNOW, THAT ONE?
64
00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:50,197
IT'S ALL
IN YOUR MIND, CARLA.
65
00:03:50,197 --> 00:03:51,699
THE TRICK IS, WHILE
YOU'RE DOING IT,
66
00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:53,367
THINK ABOUT
THE MOST PLEASANT
THING IN YOUR LIFE.
67
00:03:53,367 --> 00:03:54,868
BEING BURNED
BY THIS MATCH
68
00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:57,538
WOULD BE THE MOST
PLEASANT THING IN MY LIFE.
69
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:00,841
SAM?
70
00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:02,710
YEAH.
71
00:04:02,710 --> 00:04:05,078
YOU HAVE TO
TALK TO THAT MAN
72
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,213
OVER THERE ALONE
AT THE TABLE.
73
00:04:06,213 --> 00:04:07,648
WHY?
74
00:04:07,648 --> 00:04:10,351
WELL, HE CAME IN HERE
BECAUSE HE JUST
FOUND OUT
75
00:04:10,351 --> 00:04:12,820
HE'S GOT SIX MONTHS
TO LIVE.
76
00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:15,989
OH, COME ON.
YOU SURE THAT'S NOT
JUST AN OPENING LINE?
77
00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:20,127
SAM, WHAT KIND
OF A REPTILE
78
00:04:20,127 --> 00:04:21,362
WOULD SAY
SOMETHING LIKE THAT
79
00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:22,963
AS A SEXUAL
OVERTURE?
80
00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:27,368
NOBODY. I MEAN, NOT ME,
THAT'S FOR SURE.
81
00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:33,307
WELL, HE SEEMS TO WANT
TO TALK ABOUT IT.
82
00:04:33,307 --> 00:04:36,143
I'LL TALK TO HIM.
83
00:04:36,143 --> 00:04:37,411
HOW DO YOU
CHEER SOMEONE UP
84
00:04:37,411 --> 00:04:39,313
WHO'S GOT SIX MONTHS
TO LIVE?
85
00:04:39,313 --> 00:04:41,949
I'LL TELL HIM
I HAVE FIVE.
86
00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:43,384
WHAT IS HE DRINKING?
87
00:04:43,384 --> 00:04:45,285
HOT BUTTERED RUMS.
88
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,721
HEY, EVERYBODY, NOW,
WATCH THIS. WATCH THIS.
89
00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:52,493
HEY, WAY TO GO,
COACH.
90
00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:55,629
YOU MUST HAVE A HIGH
THRESHOLD OF PAIN.
91
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,331
I DON'T KNOW THE MEANING
OF THE WORD.
92
00:04:57,331 --> 00:04:58,766
HEH HEH.
PRETTY TOUGH GUY.
93
00:04:58,766 --> 00:05:01,034
NO,
HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT
THRESHOLD MEANS.
94
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:07,007
THANKS, NORMIE.
95
00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:09,677
HI. CAN I JOIN YOU?
96
00:05:09,677 --> 00:05:12,212
MY NAME'S SAM MALONE.
I'M THE OWNER OF THE BAR.
97
00:05:12,212 --> 00:05:14,482
MALCOLM KRAMER.
HOW DO YOU DO?
98
00:05:14,482 --> 00:05:15,849
BEFORE I RETIRED,
99
00:05:15,849 --> 00:05:18,619
I OWNED A CHEMICAL PLANT
OUTSIDE OF CHICAGO.
100
00:05:18,619 --> 00:05:21,188
YOU KNOW,
THIS MAY BE NONE
OF MY BUSINESS,
101
00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:24,291
BUT HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT
GETTING A SECOND OPINION?
102
00:05:24,291 --> 00:05:25,993
I MEAN,
DOCTORS DO MAKE MISTAKES.
103
00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:28,228
EVERY DOCTOR
I'VE BEEN TO HAS GIVEN
ME THE SAME DIAGNOSIS--
104
00:05:28,228 --> 00:05:31,565
AND I'VE BEEN TO 12 OF
THE WORLD'S LEADING
SPECIALISTS.
105
00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:34,201
MAYBE YOU'D
GET BETTER NEWS
106
00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:36,404
IF YOU WENT TO A QUACK.
107
00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:39,373
HOW'S YOUR DRINK?
108
00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:41,375
EXCELLENT. YOU'RE
A VERY GOOD BARTENDER.
109
00:05:41,375 --> 00:05:44,745
[LAUGHTER]
110
00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:47,114
THEY SOUND AS IF
THEY'RE HAVING
A GOOD TIME.
111
00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:49,016
YOU KNOW, I WORKED
MY WAY THROUGH
HARVARD BUSINESS
112
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:49,950
TENDING BAR.
113
00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:52,553
SOME OF THE BEST
YEARS OF MY LIFE.
114
00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:54,455
YOU THINK YOU STILL
GOT THE TOUCH?
115
00:05:56,156 --> 00:05:57,925
YOU MEAN IT?
116
00:05:57,925 --> 00:05:59,927
WHY NOT? COME ON.
117
00:05:59,927 --> 00:06:01,429
WE ONLY GOT
TWO RULES AROUND HERE.
118
00:06:01,429 --> 00:06:02,830
NO EMPTY GLASSES
ON THE BAR,
119
00:06:02,830 --> 00:06:04,498
AND IF SOMEBODY
BELTS YOU,
120
00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:06,033
JUST BLAME
A WAITRESS.
121
00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:07,735
YOU GOT IT.
122
00:06:07,735 --> 00:06:09,637
* OH, LORD, I WISH
THAT I'D BEEN BORN *
123
00:06:09,637 --> 00:06:13,006
* IN BORNEO, ICHABOO
ICHABOO ICHABOO... *
124
00:06:17,244 --> 00:06:19,212
* SAY, CAN YOU
PICTURE ME *
125
00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:20,814
* BENEATH
THE PEPPER TREE *
126
00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:22,650
* I'D BE SO PEPPERY *
127
00:06:22,650 --> 00:06:25,953
* WITH ALL THOSE
WILD OL' WOMEN **
128
00:06:25,953 --> 00:06:28,321
[CHEERING]
129
00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:29,557
Norm: HE DID IT!
130
00:06:29,557 --> 00:06:30,591
WHAT AM I
YELLING ABOUT?
131
00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:31,659
I BET AGAINST HIM.
132
00:06:31,659 --> 00:06:34,027
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
133
00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:35,796
YOU LOSE IT.
134
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,100
THIS GUY'S TERRIFIC.
135
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:42,102
I MEAN, HE'S
A GREAT STORY TELLER,
136
00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:44,237
AND HE REALLY KNOWS
WHAT HE'S DOING.
137
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:47,441
I MEAN, REALLY WE SHOULD HAVE
AN OLDER GUY BEHIND THE BAR.
138
00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:49,109
CUSTOMERS WOULD LIKE IT.
139
00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:50,377
WHAT ABOUT YOU, COACH?
140
00:06:50,377 --> 00:06:52,680
OH, I'D LIKE IT,
TOO.
141
00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,047
I'LL THINK ABOUT IT.
142
00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:55,415
THANKS, SAM.
143
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:56,750
HEY, WE'RE GETTING LOW
ON BEER MUGS.
144
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,886
CAN SOMEONE WASH THESE OUT
FOR ME HERE, PLEASE?
145
00:06:58,886 --> 00:07:00,153
I'D LOVE TO.
146
00:07:00,153 --> 00:07:01,655
YOU LIKE
WASHING GLASSES?
147
00:07:01,655 --> 00:07:04,958
YOU BET. SUDDENLY I FEEL LIKE
AN 18-YEAR-OLD COLLEGE BOY.
148
00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:06,093
ME, TOO.
149
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:07,227
SEE ONE AROUND?
150
00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:10,030
YOU'RE ON,
CUTEY.
151
00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:13,033
* HOW THE REINDEERS
LOVED HIM... **
152
00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:15,035
IT'S ABOUT TIME
YOU GOT BACK.
153
00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:19,006
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?
THE WIND SHOT RIGHT
THROUGH THAT OLD THING.
154
00:07:20,373 --> 00:07:24,177
AND THOSE LIFESAVERS
HAD TO BE AT LEAST
A YEAR OLD.
155
00:07:26,213 --> 00:07:29,983
BOY, IF BOSTON EVER KNEW
HOW CLOSE IT CAME
TO CATASTROPHE,
156
00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:31,752
THERE'D BE PANIC
IN THE STREETS.
157
00:07:31,752 --> 00:07:33,954
KRAMER, THAT'S CLIFF.
HE'S MY BEST FRIEND.
158
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,088
GIVE HIM A BEER.
159
00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:36,924
THAT'S MR. KRAMER.
HE'S A CUSTOMER.
160
00:07:36,924 --> 00:07:38,926
CUSTOMER? WHY, IF IT'S
ALL THE SAME TO YOU,
161
00:07:38,926 --> 00:07:42,896
I'D RATHER HAVE
MY POTABLES PREPARED
BY A COMPETENT MIXOLOGIST.
162
00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:44,965
CLIFF,
YOU WANNA BE A LITTLE
SENSITIVE HERE?
163
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,834
SAM'S LETTING HIM
DO THIS AS A FAVOR.
164
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:49,703
DOC SAYS HE'S
GOING BELLY UP
IN A FEW MONTHS.
165
00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:54,274
AH, GEE,
I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT.
166
00:07:54,274 --> 00:07:55,509
THOSE ARE THE BREAKS,
HUH?
167
00:07:55,509 --> 00:07:56,777
YEAH.
168
00:07:56,777 --> 00:07:59,179
MR. KRAMER, I'M SORRY
TO DO THIS TO YOU,
169
00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:01,481
BUT YOU WANTED ME TO
LET YOU KNOW WHEN IT WAS 11:00.
170
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,150
OH, RIGHT.
I GOT A PLANE
TO CATCH.
171
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:04,785
OH, GEE,
YOU REALLY
GOING TO LEAVE?
172
00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:06,520
YES.
I DON'T WANT THEM
173
00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:09,723
TO CALL ME
THE LATE MALCOLM KRAMER
174
00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:11,859
BEFORE IT'S OFFICIAL.
HA HA!
175
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:15,228
THANK YOU, SAM.
176
00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:16,964
ANY TIME, MALCOLM.
177
00:08:16,964 --> 00:08:19,099
LISTEN, YOU
COME BACK BEFORE...
178
00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:20,634
SOON.
179
00:08:20,634 --> 00:08:22,502
COME BACK REAL SOON.
180
00:08:24,104 --> 00:08:26,807
GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY,
AND THANK YOU.
181
00:08:26,807 --> 00:08:30,110
I'VE HAD
A WONDERFUL TIME
JUST WHEN I NEEDED IT.
182
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:33,013
SOMEDAY, I HOPE
YOU'LL APPRECIATE
183
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:36,083
HOW MUCH I REALLY
DID ENJOY IT.
184
00:08:36,083 --> 00:08:38,752
NICE MEETING YOU.
THANK YOU. BYE.
185
00:08:38,752 --> 00:08:40,554
GOOD-BYE, MR. KRAMER.
186
00:08:40,554 --> 00:08:42,022
THAT'S A NICE GUY.
187
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:43,056
THANKS, NORM.
188
00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:45,225
MY POP ALWAYS TOLD ME
TO SAY GOOD-BYE.
189
00:08:49,563 --> 00:08:51,231
[TAPPING ON GLASS]
190
00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:52,600
EXCUSE ME.
191
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:54,568
WHAT YOU PEOPLE
DID THIS EVENING
192
00:08:54,568 --> 00:08:57,104
WAS MAGNIFICENT.
193
00:08:57,104 --> 00:09:00,473
IT STRENGTHENED
IN ME A FAITH
IN HUMANITY
194
00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:03,844
THAT GETS A LITTLE
SHAKY AT TIMES.
195
00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:05,478
AND I WANT YOU
ALL TO KNOW
196
00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:08,315
THAT THERE'S NOTHING
I WOULDN'T DO
FOR ANY OF YOU.
197
00:09:08,315 --> 00:09:09,683
HOT DOG!
198
00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:11,351
DROP THE SKIVVIES
AND DANCE.
199
00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:12,419
YEAH!
200
00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:14,221
HA HA HA!
201
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:15,288
MAGGOTS!
202
00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:22,029
OK. OK.
WHO'S THE WISE GUY
203
00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:24,698
WHO SHOVED THE I.O.U.
IN THE TIP GLASS?
204
00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:26,600
LET ME SEE THIS.
205
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,001
IT'S NOT AN I.O.U.
206
00:09:29,637 --> 00:09:31,338
THIS IS...
207
00:09:31,338 --> 00:09:33,941
IT'S A BUNCH OF WRITING
I DON'T UNDERSTAND
IS WHAT THIS IS.
208
00:09:33,941 --> 00:09:35,609
IS IT IN
A FOREIGN TONGUE?
209
00:09:35,609 --> 00:09:37,110
NO, NO. IT'S ENGLISH.
210
00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:40,614
IN YOUR CASE,
THAT QUALIFIES.
HEY, HUH?
211
00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:44,852
ALL RIGHT, UM...
212
00:09:44,852 --> 00:09:47,688
"TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN,
213
00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:50,624
"PLEASE BE ADVISED
THAT HEREWITH
214
00:09:50,624 --> 00:09:54,127
"I AMEND MY WILL TO
PROVIDE THE FOLLOWING.
215
00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:56,229
"AS A TOKEN
FOR THEIR KINDNESS,
216
00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:58,565
"I LEAVE THE SUM OF...
217
00:09:58,565 --> 00:10:01,368
"$100,000 TO THE GANG
AT CHEERS.
218
00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:04,437
SIGNED, MALCOLM KRAMER."
219
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:05,906
IS THIS A JOKE?
220
00:10:05,906 --> 00:10:10,678
CLIFF, CHECK THAT OUT,
SEE IF IT'S VALID.
221
00:10:14,181 --> 00:10:17,184
WELL, UH, YEAH,
I DON'T WANT TO
PRONOUNCE JUDGMENT
222
00:10:17,184 --> 00:10:18,551
TOO HASTILY,
COACH,
223
00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:20,754
BUT, WHY, I THINK
THERE IS PRECEDENT
224
00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:23,223
IN THE CASE OF
PENOYA VS. NET
225
00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:25,826
WHEN IT WAS FOUND
THAT JURISPRUDENCE
226
00:10:25,826 --> 00:10:29,062
IS THE BETTER PART
OF DICTION.
227
00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:32,299
TOM, YOU'RE A LAWYER,
AREN'T YOU?
228
00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:35,168
I WORK FOR
THE LAW FIRM OF
SING AND FLECKMAN.
229
00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:38,038
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS,
WILL YOU, AND TELL ME
WHAT IT MEANS.
230
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:42,609
WELL, I PRESUME
HIS INTENT HERE
231
00:10:42,609 --> 00:10:43,744
WAS TO HAVE EVERYBODY
AT CHEERS
232
00:10:43,744 --> 00:10:45,979
SPLIT UP $100,000
WHEN HE DIES.
233
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:48,048
I'LL BE DARNED.
I HEARD HIM SAY
HE WAS RICH,
234
00:10:48,048 --> 00:10:50,050
BUT I THOUGHT
IT WAS A LINE.
235
00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:52,452
OH, SAM,
WHO WOULD USE A LINE
LIKE THAT?
236
00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:54,788
NOT ME.
237
00:10:54,788 --> 00:10:56,223
100 GRAND.
238
00:10:56,223 --> 00:10:57,991
NOW, WHAT DOES THAT
COME OUT TO EACH?
239
00:10:57,991 --> 00:11:01,361
LOOKS LIKE
APPROXIMATELY
$2,500.
240
00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:02,930
MINUS MY
ACCOUNTING FEE,
241
00:11:02,930 --> 00:11:04,698
THAT'S
100 BUCKS.
242
00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:05,866
WE EACH GET
100 BUCKS?
243
00:11:05,866 --> 00:11:07,768
NO. YOU SPLIT
100 BUCKS.
244
00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:10,070
GET OUT OF HERE.
WAIT A MINUTE!
WAIT A MINUTE!
245
00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:13,406
IT DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING
ABOUT DIVIDING IT EQUALLY.
246
00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:16,509
THERE ARE A LOT
OF THESE PEOPLE HERE
WHO DIDN'T GIVE THE GUY
247
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:17,911
THE TIME OF DAY,
YOU KNOW.
248
00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:21,514
WAIT. WAIT. WAIT.
WAIT A MINUTE.
249
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,050
IT DOESN'T MATTER
ANYWAY.
250
00:11:23,050 --> 00:11:24,918
THIS PAPER
IS WORTHLESS.
251
00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:27,955
LOOK, LOOK,
IN ORDER FOR
A WILL TO BE VALID
252
00:11:27,955 --> 00:11:29,757
ACCORDING TO
MASSACHUSETTS LAW,
253
00:11:29,757 --> 00:11:31,892
THE STIPULATIONS
MUST BE PRECISE
254
00:11:31,892 --> 00:11:33,193
AND THE DOCUMENT'S
GOTTA BE SIGNED
255
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:34,795
BY AT LEAST
THREE WITNESSES.
256
00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:36,930
THIS ISN'T.
I'M SORRY.
257
00:11:36,930 --> 00:11:39,232
OH, HEY, COME ON.
IT'S A BEAUTIFUL SOUVENIR
258
00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:42,803
OF AN EVENING
OF GENEROSITY
AND GOOD WILL.
259
00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:43,871
TO HELL WITH THAT!
260
00:11:43,871 --> 00:11:45,305
I WANT MY MONEY!
261
00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:46,706
MONEY! MONEY!
262
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:49,176
MONEY!
MONEY!
263
00:11:49,176 --> 00:11:53,814
WAIT. HEY.
I GOT AN IDEA HERE.
I THINK I GOT AN IDEA.
264
00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:55,715
IF WE CAN
BRING HIM BACK
265
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,918
AND GET HIM TO WRITE
A VALID WILL,
266
00:11:57,918 --> 00:11:59,586
AND THEN HE
COULD STIPULATE
267
00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:01,421
EXACTLY WHO HE WANTS
TO GET HOW MUCH.
268
00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:04,557
SURE. THE GUY'S ON HIS WAY
TO THE AIRPORT.
269
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:06,526
WELL, IF YOU HURRY,
YOU CAN CATCH HIM
AT THE HOTEL.
270
00:12:06,526 --> 00:12:07,594
ALL RIGHT,
I'LL GO GET HIM.
271
00:12:07,594 --> 00:12:08,862
YEAH, BUT WHY YOU?
272
00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:10,630
WELL, HE
LIKED ME BEST.
OH, YEAH, NORM?
273
00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:11,999
WHAT MAKES YOU
THINK SO?
274
00:12:11,999 --> 00:12:13,834
WELL,
HE EMBRACED ME,
IF YOU MUST KNOW.
275
00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:15,803
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
WE NEVER SAW THAT.
276
00:12:15,803 --> 00:12:18,205
IT WASN'T AN
OVERT EMBRACE.
277
00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:22,009
IT WAS MORE
LIKE WE HUGGED
WITH OUR EYES.
278
00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:28,481
LOOK, WHOEVER
GOES IS GONNA HAVE
AN OPPORTUNITY
279
00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:29,783
AT SWEET-TALKING
THE GUY,
280
00:12:29,783 --> 00:12:31,852
SO I THINK
WE'D BETTER
SEND SOMEBODY
281
00:12:31,852 --> 00:12:33,120
THAT WE ALL TRUST.
282
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:36,156
YEAH. ABSOLUTELY.
OK. I'LL GO.
283
00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:38,391
YOU'D SHOOT YOUR MOTHER
IN THE BACK FOR TWO BITS.
284
00:12:38,391 --> 00:12:40,894
HEY, HEY!
MY MOTHER'S
A SAINT!
285
00:12:40,894 --> 00:12:42,229
WHY DON'T YOU
SEND COACH?
286
00:12:42,229 --> 00:12:43,964
Y'ALL TRUST COACH,
DON'T YOU?
287
00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:45,765
YEAH.
YEAH.
YEAH.
288
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,868
OK. HERE I GO.
289
00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:50,103
I'M WITH IT.
290
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:52,272
LET'S GO!
LET'S GO!
291
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:53,974
GO, COACH.
292
00:12:53,974 --> 00:12:55,242
COACH, JUST
PLAY IT COOL.
293
00:12:55,242 --> 00:12:56,543
WE DON'T WANT
TO APPEAR TOO EAGER
294
00:12:56,543 --> 00:12:58,345
AND SCARE
THE GUY OFF.
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
295
00:12:58,345 --> 00:13:01,148
TELL HIM HIS ADOPTED SON
NORM SENDS HIS LOVE.
296
00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:05,986
RIGHT, NORM.
HEY, LISTEN. I WANT
ALL YOU GUYS TO KNOW
297
00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:07,654
THAT IT'S AN HONOR
AND PRIVILEGE
298
00:13:07,654 --> 00:13:09,389
THAT YOU PICKED ME
FOR THIS JOB.
299
00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:13,160
I HOPE I CAN ANSWER
ALL OF YOUR EXPECTATIONS.
300
00:13:18,899 --> 00:13:20,700
WHAT WERE
YOUR EXPECTATIONS?
301
00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:22,970
GET OUT OF HERE! HURRY!
302
00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:36,316
YEAH, YEAH, COACH HAS BEEN
GONE NEARLY AN HOUR, NORMIE.
303
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:38,551
YEAH, WONDER
WHAT HE'S UP TO.
304
00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:39,987
OK, SAMMY, OK.
305
00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:41,054
THIS IS IT.
306
00:13:41,054 --> 00:13:42,389
THIS WILL SATISFY
307
00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:44,057
THE COMMONWEALTH
OF MASSACHUSETTS,
308
00:13:44,057 --> 00:13:46,626
AND ALL WE NEED IS
KRAMER'S SIGNATURE,
309
00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:48,561
THREE WITNESSES.
WE GOT IT.
310
00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:50,263
HEY, JUST BECAUSE YOU
DID A LITTLE TYPING,
311
00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:52,065
DON'T THINK YOU'RE
GONNA GET A BIGGER CUT.
312
00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:54,401
HEY, HEY,
HEY, LISTEN, UH...
313
00:13:54,401 --> 00:13:55,802
ON BEHALF OF
THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT,
314
00:13:55,802 --> 00:13:57,938
I'D BETTER TAKE A LOOK
AT THIS.
315
00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:01,975
WELL, YOU MISSPELLED
MASSACHUSETTS
316
00:14:01,975 --> 00:14:03,610
FIRST OF ALL.
317
00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:04,644
WELL, LOOK,
ON THE FACE OF IT,
318
00:14:04,644 --> 00:14:05,979
THIS IS ALL
PRIMA FACIUS
319
00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:09,216
NON CORPUS
INTERRUPTUS ANYHOW.
320
00:14:09,216 --> 00:14:10,984
QUIT WASTING
OUR TIME NOW.
321
00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:12,585
THIS GUY,
I DON'T KNOW.
322
00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:14,154
HEY, WHAT KIND
OF LAWYER ARE YOU
ANYWAY?
323
00:14:14,154 --> 00:14:15,422
YOU WOULDN'T
KNOW IF I
TOLD YOU.
324
00:14:15,422 --> 00:14:18,125
OH, YEAH? WELL, TRY ME,
RAYMOND BIRDBRAIN.
325
00:14:18,125 --> 00:14:21,394
WELL,
I'M NOT ACTUALLY
AN ATTORNEY YET.
326
00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:23,763
I'M TAKING MY BAR
EXAM NEXT MONTH.
327
00:14:23,763 --> 00:14:26,199
ALL RIGHT,
THE GUY'S HERE HERE
ON FALSE PRETENSES.
328
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:29,469
YEAH, LET'S STRIP HIM
AND BOOT HIM OUT
IN THE SNOW.
329
00:14:31,972 --> 00:14:33,340
HEY, HEY, HEY!
COME ON!
330
00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:35,308
WHOA, TAKE IT EASY,
WILL YA?
331
00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:37,810
THIS IS GETTING
CRAZY. SETTLE DOWN.
332
00:14:37,810 --> 00:14:39,012
HEY, THEY'RE BACK!
333
00:14:39,012 --> 00:14:41,114
HURRAY FOR MR. KRAMER.
334
00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:53,994
WHAT TOOK YOU
SO LONG, COACH?
335
00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:57,197
OH, SAM, I HAD TO
DIG THE CAR OUT,
PUT ON THE TIRE CHAINS...
336
00:14:57,197 --> 00:14:59,166
YOU DIDN'T YOU
JUST TAKE A CAB?
337
00:14:59,166 --> 00:15:00,367
WELL, I FIGURED
IT WASN'T WORTH IT.
338
00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:03,270
THE HOTEL'S
ONLY A BLOCK AWAY.
339
00:15:03,270 --> 00:15:07,140
I WANT YOU TO SAY HELLO TO
MY BEST FRIEND MR. KRAMER.
340
00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:09,809
COACH SAID THERE
WAS SOME PROBLEM
ABOUT MY WILL?
341
00:15:09,809 --> 00:15:14,014
MR. KRAMER,
YOU MADE A WONDERFUL
GESTURE TO THESE PEOPLE,
342
00:15:14,014 --> 00:15:16,149
AND NOW THEY'RE ASKING
YOU TO REPEAT IT.
343
00:15:16,149 --> 00:15:18,185
YOU DO THAT TO ME
EVERY NIGHT.
344
00:15:20,887 --> 00:15:24,024
I'M WAITING FOR YOU
TO GET IT RIGHT.
345
00:15:26,893 --> 00:15:29,762
MR. KRAMER, IT WAS
A WONDERFUL GESTURE,
346
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,464
BUT YOU DIDN'T TELL US
347
00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:33,700
HOW YOU WANTED US
TO SPLIT IT UP.
348
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:37,504
YEAH, YOU SEE,
WHAT WE GOT HERE
IS A REAL PROBLEM.
349
00:15:37,504 --> 00:15:38,905
WHO GETS WHAT?
350
00:15:38,905 --> 00:15:40,407
THESE BOZOS....
351
00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:45,245
OR MY FIVE
PRECIOUS CHILDREN?
352
00:15:45,245 --> 00:15:47,114
POSING FOR THIS PICTURE
353
00:15:47,114 --> 00:15:48,715
IS THE LONGEST
THEY'VE EVER STOOD
354
00:15:48,715 --> 00:15:50,683
WITHOUT CRUTCHES.
355
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,254
PUT ALL
THOSE MONSTERS
SOMEWHERE ELSE.
356
00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:56,323
IT'S TONIGHT
THAT COUNTS.
357
00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:58,858
REMEMBER THOSE
GREAT TIMES WE HAD
358
00:15:58,858 --> 00:16:00,227
STANDING
RIGHT OVER THERE?
359
00:16:00,227 --> 00:16:01,961
MR. KRAMER,
HOW CAN YOU
EVER FORGET
360
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:05,698
THAT DELIGHTFUL WALK
YOU AND I TOOK OVER
TO THE JUKEBOX?
361
00:16:05,698 --> 00:16:07,667
HEY, DON'T FORGET
WHO YOU TURNED TO
IN YOUR HOUR OF NEED
362
00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:09,102
WHEN YOU WANTED TO KNOW
WHAT TIME IT WAS.
363
00:16:09,102 --> 00:16:10,103
YOU DIDN'T TELL ME.
364
00:16:10,103 --> 00:16:12,405
HEY, WHAT AM I, BIG BEN?
365
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:15,908
MR. KRAMER,
366
00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:19,079
WHY DON'T YOU JUST
GIVE ALL YOUR MONEY
TO YOUR RELATIVES?
367
00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:21,148
DIANE, NO.
NO.
368
00:16:21,148 --> 00:16:23,183
I DON'T HAVE
ANY CLOSE RELATIVES.
369
00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:25,185
WELL, YOU DO NOW,
MERVIN.
370
00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:26,886
MY NAME IS MALCOLM.
371
00:16:26,886 --> 00:16:28,688
MAY I CALL YOU
MERVIN?
372
00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:32,092
THAT WAS--THAT WAS
MY FATHER'S NAME.
373
00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:36,629
MR. KRAMER,
YOU COULD
GIVE THIS MONEY
374
00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:37,864
TO CHARITY.
375
00:16:37,864 --> 00:16:39,966
HEY, I AM CHARITY.
376
00:16:39,966 --> 00:16:41,534
BEAT IT. BEAT IT.
377
00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:44,837
SAM, I DON'T HAVE ANY TIME
TO DEAL WITH THIS.
378
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:47,640
BESIDES, LIFE'S TOO SHORT.
I HAVE A PLANE TO CATCH.
379
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,609
I'M GOING TO SIGN THE MONEY
ALL OVER TO YOU
380
00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:52,145
AND YOU CAN DIVIDE IT
AS YOU SEE FIT.
381
00:16:52,145 --> 00:16:53,580
NO, NO, MR. KRAMER--
382
00:16:53,580 --> 00:16:54,981
SORRY, SAM,
I'VE GOT TO RUN.
383
00:16:54,981 --> 00:16:56,483
DON'T DO THIS
TO ME.
384
00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:59,686
GOOD-BYE, EVERYBODY.
GOOD NIGHT,
AND THANKS AGAIN.
385
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:01,288
GOOD NIGHT, MR. KRAMER.
386
00:17:01,288 --> 00:17:04,457
YEAH, YEAH. DON'T BE
A STRANGER. SAMMY...
387
00:17:06,593 --> 00:17:09,362
HEY, COME ON, WOULD YOU?
STOP IT.
388
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:12,599
NOW, I'M GONNA
TRY TO DIVIDE THIS UP
FAIR AND SQUARE,
389
00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:15,968
BUT PLEASE, JUST NO APPEALS
TO FRIENDSHIP AND SENTIMENT.
390
00:17:15,968 --> 00:17:18,271
NONE OF THAT
KISSY, KISSY STUFF.
391
00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:21,208
HOW MUCH EVIDENCE
DO YOU NEED, SAM?
392
00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:22,942
DOES THERE HAVE
TO BE BLOODSHED?
393
00:17:22,942 --> 00:17:24,144
DESTROY THE WILL.
394
00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:25,912
LET'S KILL HER!
395
00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:27,547
YEAH!
YEAH!
YEAH!
396
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:28,548
HEY, WAIT.
397
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:30,150
[BELL CLANGS]
398
00:17:31,918 --> 00:17:33,486
WHAT'S IT GONNA BE, SAM?
399
00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:35,088
YEAH,
COME ON, SAMMY,
WALK LIKE A MAN.
400
00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:40,727
OK. EVERYBODY IN
THIS ROOM RIGHT NOW
GETS AN EQUAL SHARE.
401
00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:41,961
AND THAT'S IT.
402
00:17:41,961 --> 00:17:45,198
[ALL CLAMOR]
403
00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:46,899
[BELL CLANGS]
404
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,435
[GASPS]
405
00:17:48,435 --> 00:17:49,369
SAM!
406
00:17:54,707 --> 00:17:56,876
NOW IT'S OVER.
IT'S DONE.
407
00:17:56,876 --> 00:18:00,113
LET'S JUST EVERYBODY
GET BACK TO NORMAL HERE.
408
00:18:06,653 --> 00:18:11,023
WE SHOULD'VE KILLED HER
WHEN WE HAD THE CHANCE.
409
00:18:11,023 --> 00:18:13,426
WELL, NOW, I HOPE THAT'S
TAUGHT YOU ALL A LESSON.
410
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:16,296
COACH, YOU MEAN ABOUT NOT
BEING GREEDY ABOUT MONEY?
411
00:18:16,296 --> 00:18:20,333
NO. ALWAYS DISPOSE OF
FLAMING MATERIALS PROPERLY.
412
00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:24,204
I GUESS
WE SHOULD'VE KNOWN.
413
00:18:24,204 --> 00:18:26,173
GUYS LIKE US
DON'T GET
THAT KIND OF MONEY.
414
00:18:26,173 --> 00:18:27,874
WELL, LOOK AT IT THIS WAY,
GUYS.
415
00:18:27,874 --> 00:18:31,043
WE'RE NO POORER NOW
THAN WE WERE WHEN WE CAME
IN HERE TONIGHT.
416
00:18:31,043 --> 00:18:33,346
YEAH,
YOU CAN TALK. YOU'LL
BE A LAWYER SOMEDAY.
417
00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:35,615
YEAH, YEAH,
BUT A BAD ONE.
418
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:38,218
HEY, WILL YOU
GIVE ME A BREAK?
419
00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:40,287
WELL, CHEERS
IS CHEERS AGAIN...
420
00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:42,622
AND I'M RELIEVED.
421
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:44,924
I'M GOING
TO GO THANK SAM,
422
00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:46,993
AND ALL OF YOU
SHOULD, TOO.
423
00:18:46,993 --> 00:18:51,264
AND BY THE WAY,
WITH ALL THE INSANITY
ABOUT THE WILL,
424
00:18:51,264 --> 00:18:54,367
NO ONE SAID A WORD
ABOUT MY NEW HAIRDO.
425
00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:56,269
IT STINKS.
IT STINKS.
426
00:18:56,269 --> 00:18:58,705
THERE, NOW,
WAS THAT SO HARD?
427
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:01,874
SAM...
428
00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:06,513
WHAT YOU DID OUT THERE
WAS FINE AND NOBLE,
429
00:19:06,513 --> 00:19:08,581
AND I'M VERY PROUD OF YOU.
430
00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:12,685
I CAN TELL
BY YOUR LOOK ON YOUR FACE
431
00:19:12,685 --> 00:19:15,188
THAT YOU'RE PROUD
OF YOURSELF, HUH?
432
00:19:15,188 --> 00:19:16,289
YES, DIANE, I AM.
433
00:19:16,289 --> 00:19:18,425
I'M--I'M PROUD AND...
434
00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:21,494
RICH.
435
00:19:27,967 --> 00:19:29,369
WHAT'S THAT?
436
00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:31,738
THIS LITTLE BABY
IS MY TICKET
TO HAPPINESS.
437
00:19:31,738 --> 00:19:35,074
THIS IS THE WILL.
I PALMED IT, AND I
BURNED A PHONY.
438
00:19:35,074 --> 00:19:37,244
WHAT? HOW?
439
00:19:37,244 --> 00:19:38,578
ARE YOU
KIDDING ME?
440
00:19:38,578 --> 00:19:40,580
I DO MAGIC,
REMEMBER?
441
00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:42,215
WATCH THIS.
442
00:19:42,215 --> 00:19:43,950
[HUMMING]
443
00:19:50,323 --> 00:19:52,292
OOH, LOOKY HERE.
444
00:19:54,126 --> 00:19:55,828
THAT WAS
THE MOST AVARICIOUS,
445
00:19:55,828 --> 00:19:58,831
UNREGENERATE,
RAPACIOUS THING
YOU'VE EVER DONE.
446
00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:01,801
WAIT A SECOND HERE.
447
00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:04,271
A COUPLE OF THOSE WORDS
DIDN'T SOUND VERY NICE.
448
00:20:05,338 --> 00:20:06,473
HOW'S THIS?
449
00:20:06,473 --> 00:20:07,974
YOU HAVE SUNK SO LOW,
450
00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:11,678
YOU WOULD NEED A LADDER
TO KISS A SNAKE'S HINEY.
451
00:20:11,678 --> 00:20:16,783
WELL, THAT'S CLEAR,
BUT WHY? I THOUGHT
I WAS PRETTY GOOD.
452
00:20:16,783 --> 00:20:18,418
I SAW WHAT THOSE
PEOPLE WERE DOING,
453
00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:20,620
GOING
AT EACH OTHER'S
THROATS OUT THERE.
454
00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:23,723
IT OCCURRED TO ME
THIS WAS THE BEST
POSSIBLE SOLUTION.
455
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:24,791
HMM.
456
00:20:24,791 --> 00:20:26,593
OH, COME ON, COME ON,
LOOK AT IT LOGICALLY.
457
00:20:26,593 --> 00:20:28,328
HOW ARE YOU GOING
TO EXPLAIN
458
00:20:28,328 --> 00:20:30,597
YOUR NEWFOUND
RICHES TO THEM?
459
00:20:30,597 --> 00:20:32,164
GIVE ME A LITTLE CREDIT
HERE.
460
00:20:32,164 --> 00:20:35,067
I'M NOT GONNA CHANGE MY
LIFESTYLE ALL OF A SUDDEN.
461
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:38,204
MY PURCHASES
WILL BE SIMPLE.
462
00:20:38,204 --> 00:20:39,906
A TELEVISION MAYBE,
463
00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:42,008
A PAIR OF SHOES,
464
00:20:42,008 --> 00:20:43,643
A COUPLE
PAIR OF PANTS,
465
00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:44,711
A TRIP
TO THE CANARIES
466
00:20:44,711 --> 00:20:47,280
IN MY BRAND-NEW
60-FOOT YACHT.
467
00:20:51,318 --> 00:20:54,321
OH, I KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT.
468
00:20:54,321 --> 00:20:56,122
HEY, COME ON,
YOU'RE MY SWEETIE.
469
00:20:56,122 --> 00:20:57,857
I WANT TO SPLIT
THE MONEY WITH YOU.
470
00:20:57,857 --> 00:20:59,559
THINK ABOUT ALL
THE GOOD YOU CAN DO
471
00:20:59,559 --> 00:21:01,227
WITH THIS MONEY
OUT THERE, HUH, HUH?
472
00:21:01,227 --> 00:21:05,064
WHAT GOOD
COULD COME OF THIS?
473
00:21:05,064 --> 00:21:06,766
CHARITIES...
474
00:21:08,635 --> 00:21:13,072
WELL, I SUPPOSE ONE
COULD DO WONDERS WITH...
475
00:21:13,072 --> 00:21:14,374
A LOT OF MONEY,
476
00:21:14,374 --> 00:21:15,875
IF ONE WERE SO INCLINED.
477
00:21:15,875 --> 00:21:17,977
I COULD DONATE
TO ENVIRONMENTAL CHARITIES.
478
00:21:17,977 --> 00:21:19,078
DONATE!
479
00:21:19,078 --> 00:21:20,980
FIGHT WORLD HUNGER,
480
00:21:20,980 --> 00:21:22,882
SAVE ENDANGERED SPECIES,
481
00:21:22,882 --> 00:21:26,185
AND GRAB UP THAT FABULOUS
SILK DRESS AT CLAUDINE'S.
482
00:21:26,185 --> 00:21:27,420
YES, YES!
483
00:21:27,420 --> 00:21:30,590
OH, NO!
NOW I'M DOING IT.
484
00:21:30,590 --> 00:21:32,859
I WON'T
LET YOU DO THIS
TO YOUR FRIENDS.
485
00:21:32,859 --> 00:21:35,395
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
RAT ON ME?
486
00:21:35,395 --> 00:21:39,699
UH-HUH.
OH, WAIT A SECOND HERE.
WAIT A SECOND.
487
00:21:39,699 --> 00:21:42,101
THIS IS WHAT WE'RE
TALKING ABOUT HERE,
ISN'T IT, HUH?
488
00:21:42,101 --> 00:21:43,703
YOU'RE CRAZY.
489
00:21:43,703 --> 00:21:45,438
OH, YEAH, WELL,
I MAY BE CRAZY,
BUT I'M NOT STUPID.
490
00:21:45,438 --> 00:21:47,640
YOU'RE VERY STUPID.
491
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:48,775
I'LL TELL YOU
HOW STUPID I AM,
492
00:21:48,775 --> 00:21:52,044
I SEE THROUGH YOU
LIKE A BOOK.
493
00:21:52,044 --> 00:21:54,947
AH, THAT'S STUPID.
494
00:21:54,947 --> 00:21:57,049
YOU WANT MY MONEY.
495
00:21:57,049 --> 00:21:59,752
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
ARE YOU GONNA BLACKMAIL ME
FOR IT, IS THAT IT?
496
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:04,757
HA HA! AW, YOU JUST LOST
YOUR BOAT RIDE, BABY.
497
00:22:07,293 --> 00:22:09,762
YOU CAN'T SLAP ME.
I'M A RICH GUY.
498
00:22:12,532 --> 00:22:14,233
HOW MUCH LONGER
ARE YOU GOING TO DO THIS?
499
00:22:14,233 --> 00:22:17,136
I DON'T KNOW YOU.
I'VE NEVER SEEN
YOU LIKE THIS,
500
00:22:17,136 --> 00:22:18,638
AND I DON'T LIKE IT.
501
00:22:18,638 --> 00:22:21,273
COME ON, COME ON.
DON'T LET THIS
COME BETWEEN US.
502
00:22:21,273 --> 00:22:23,109
I WANT YOU TO HELP ME
SPEND THE MONEY.
503
00:22:23,109 --> 00:22:24,844
COME ON,
IT'S GONNA MAKE US
SO HAPPY.
504
00:22:24,844 --> 00:22:26,646
IT'S ALREADY
MAKING ME MISERABLE.
505
00:22:26,646 --> 00:22:28,415
WELL, JUST WAIT
TILL YOU SEE THE FUN
WE HAVE
506
00:22:28,415 --> 00:22:29,416
OUT ON THAT BOAT
TOGETHER.
507
00:22:29,416 --> 00:22:30,817
DAMN, BOY!
508
00:22:30,817 --> 00:22:32,552
IF THAT GUY WOULD
JUST KICK OFF
IN FOUR MONTHS,
509
00:22:32,552 --> 00:22:34,854
WE COULD HAVE THAT
BABY IN THE ATLANTIC
BY SPRING.
510
00:22:34,854 --> 00:22:37,323
DID YOU HEAR
WHAT YOU JUST SAID?
511
00:22:37,323 --> 00:22:40,226
OH, MY GOD.
512
00:22:40,226 --> 00:22:42,595
THAT WAS A HORRIBLE
THING TO SAY, WASN'T IT?
513
00:22:42,595 --> 00:22:44,697
SIX MONTHS
WOULD BE FINE.
514
00:22:44,697 --> 00:22:46,766
WE COULD CATCH
THE GULF STREAM.
515
00:22:46,766 --> 00:22:48,468
SAM!
516
00:22:48,468 --> 00:22:50,603
OH, WHAT'S
HAPPENING TO ME?
517
00:22:50,603 --> 00:22:52,939
I'M TURNING INTO
A HORRIBLE PERSON.
518
00:22:52,939 --> 00:22:54,441
YES, YOU ARE.
519
00:22:57,510 --> 00:22:58,978
I'M GONNA DO
WHAT I SHOULD'VE DONE
520
00:22:58,978 --> 00:23:01,881
THE MINUTE I SET EYES
THIS EVIL THING--
521
00:23:01,881 --> 00:23:05,718
I'M GONNA DESTROY IT
BEFORE IT DESTROYS ME.
522
00:23:08,788 --> 00:23:10,723
OH...
523
00:23:10,723 --> 00:23:11,824
OH...
524
00:23:11,824 --> 00:23:13,826
THAT WAS THE RIGHT
THING TO DO, SAM.
525
00:23:13,826 --> 00:23:17,530
NOW, LET'S JUST FORGET
THAT ANY OF THIS EVER HAPPENED.
526
00:23:17,530 --> 00:23:19,499
OH, YES. LET'S.
527
00:23:21,267 --> 00:23:23,002
OH...
528
00:23:30,910 --> 00:23:33,880
I HATE MYSELF
FOR WHAT I JUST THOUGHT.
529
00:23:36,449 --> 00:23:39,051
NO. NO, I WON'T
EVEN SAY IT.
530
00:23:41,087 --> 00:23:45,992
I KNOW YOU DIDN'T,
BUT LET ME KNOW BETTER.
531
00:23:45,992 --> 00:23:47,527
OH, COME ON, COME ON,
532
00:23:47,527 --> 00:23:49,796
DO YOU THINK
THAT I'D REALLY DO
SOMETHING LIKE THAT AGAIN
533
00:23:49,796 --> 00:23:51,831
AFTER WHAT
I JUST WENT THROUGH?
534
00:23:53,232 --> 00:23:54,400
I'M SORRY.
535
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:55,868
WELL, I--
536
00:23:55,868 --> 00:23:57,103
OF COURSE NOT.
537
00:23:57,103 --> 00:23:59,438
ANY PERSON WHO WOULD
DO SOMETHING THAT VILE
538
00:23:59,438 --> 00:24:02,441
WOULD HAVE GUILT
EATING AWAY AT HIS GUTS
539
00:24:02,441 --> 00:24:04,210
FOR THE REST
OF HIS LIFE.
540
00:24:04,210 --> 00:24:07,446
THANK YOU.
541
00:24:18,958 --> 00:24:22,061
I HATE HER.
542
00:24:22,061 --> 00:24:25,798
I REALLY, REALLY DO.
I HATE HER SO MUCH.
38530
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