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1
00:00:03,171 --> 00:00:05,706
"Cheers" is filmed before
A live studio audience.
2
00:00:05,706 --> 00:00:07,608
Hey, everybody.
3
00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:08,742
Hey, sammy!
4
00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:09,710
Oh, sam.
5
00:00:09,710 --> 00:00:10,611
Yeah,
What, coach?
6
00:00:10,611 --> 00:00:12,080
Listen, I think
I found the answer
7
00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:13,714
To all the robberies
In this neighborhood.
8
00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:15,849
Coach, don't worry
About it. I'm gonna
Get an alarm.
9
00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:17,485
No, no.
This is much better.
10
00:00:17,485 --> 00:00:21,589
This friend of mine
Has this huge, I mean,
Gigantic attack dog.
11
00:00:21,589 --> 00:00:23,791
Bu he's gotten so mean lately,
He can't handle him.
12
00:00:23,791 --> 00:00:26,894
That would be perfect
Protection for us
From burglars.
13
00:00:26,894 --> 00:00:29,597
Coach, maybe so,
But what are we
Gonna do with one?
14
00:00:29,597 --> 00:00:32,100
I mean, where are we
Gonna keep a dog?
15
00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:34,902
[growling]
16
00:00:34,902 --> 00:00:36,804
I figured the office.
17
00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:38,806
[woof woof]
18
00:00:38,806 --> 00:00:40,874
[scratching]
19
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:42,810
He's vicious!
20
00:00:45,613 --> 00:00:47,781
Coach, get that dog
The hell out of here.
21
00:00:47,781 --> 00:00:49,517
How?
22
00:00:49,517 --> 00:00:51,619
I don't know how.
How did you get it in
Here in the first place?
23
00:00:51,619 --> 00:00:53,821
He was in a cage
When they brought him in.
24
00:00:53,821 --> 00:00:55,256
I think he ate it.
25
00:00:56,190 --> 00:00:58,526
This is ridiculous.
26
00:00:58,526 --> 00:00:59,827
How am I gonna use
My office?
27
00:00:59,827 --> 00:01:01,595
Excuse me, sammy.
What?
28
00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:03,131
In my profession,
You become accustomed
29
00:01:03,131 --> 00:01:06,200
To dealing with bellicose
Canine personalities.
30
00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:07,635
Allow me.
31
00:01:07,635 --> 00:01:09,303
What are you
Going to do,
Mace him?
32
00:01:09,303 --> 00:01:10,838
No, no, carla,
That's much too cruel.
33
00:01:10,838 --> 00:01:12,106
I find
In dealing with animals,
34
00:01:12,106 --> 00:01:15,209
It's better
To be kind, yet firm.
35
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:18,045
[growling]
36
00:01:18,045 --> 00:01:19,913
Sit!
37
00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,715
He is sitting,
Cliff.
38
00:01:24,051 --> 00:01:26,120
Nuke the beast, sam.
39
00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,662
* makin' your way
In the world today *
40
00:01:34,662 --> 00:01:37,831
* takes everything
You've got *
41
00:01:37,831 --> 00:01:40,601
* takin' a break
From all your worries *
42
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,570
* sure would help a lot *
43
00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:46,807
* wouldn't you like
To get away? *
44
00:01:49,677 --> 00:01:51,679
* sometimes
You wanna go *
45
00:01:51,679 --> 00:01:55,216
* where everybody
Knows your name *
46
00:01:56,884 --> 00:02:00,688
* and they're always
Glad you came *
47
00:02:01,755 --> 00:02:04,392
* you wanna be
Where you can see *
48
00:02:04,392 --> 00:02:06,694
* our troubles
Are all the same *
49
00:02:06,694 --> 00:02:12,166
* you wanna be where
Everybody knows your name *
50
00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:14,902
* you wanna go
Where people know *
51
00:02:14,902 --> 00:02:17,070
* people are all the same *
52
00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:21,842
* you wanna go where
Everybody knows your name *
53
00:02:40,194 --> 00:02:41,329
Gee, sam, I'm so sorry.
54
00:02:41,329 --> 00:02:42,830
Coach,
Get on the phone.
55
00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:44,932
I want the owner
Over here to get
The dog out of here.
56
00:02:44,932 --> 00:02:46,834
The owner. The phone.
57
00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:48,135
Hello, everyone.
58
00:02:48,135 --> 00:02:49,837
[carla] goody.
Diane is here.
59
00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:52,840
This is heather landon,
60
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:54,074
My oldest friend.
61
00:02:54,074 --> 00:02:55,776
Meet her
This morning?
62
00:02:58,946 --> 00:03:00,047
That's carla.
63
00:03:00,047 --> 00:03:01,715
She likes a little
Witty repartee.
64
00:03:01,715 --> 00:03:04,618
She's just
Not capable of it.
65
00:03:05,753 --> 00:03:08,956
Heather, I want you
To meet someone else...
66
00:03:08,956 --> 00:03:10,358
Right over here.
67
00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:12,393
Coach ernie pantuso.
68
00:03:12,393 --> 00:03:14,762
How do you do,
Mr. Pantuso?
69
00:03:14,762 --> 00:03:18,098
Hi, heather. Listen,
You can call me coach
Or by my other nickname.
70
00:03:18,098 --> 00:03:19,967
What other nickname?
71
00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:21,735
Satchmo.
72
00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:26,474
Coach, you're thinking
Of louis armstrong.
73
00:03:26,474 --> 00:03:29,209
No, but I like that
Even better.
74
00:03:30,678 --> 00:03:33,781
Can I get you
Something
To drink, honey?
75
00:03:33,781 --> 00:03:34,982
Oh, um...Coffee?
76
00:03:34,982 --> 00:03:36,083
Thank you.
77
00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:37,618
Now, down here,
78
00:03:37,618 --> 00:03:40,621
These two gentlemen
Are cliff and norman,
79
00:03:40,621 --> 00:03:42,823
Two of our most
Regular regulars.
80
00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:43,891
Hi.
81
00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:45,393
Hiya.
Pleased to do you.
82
00:03:47,595 --> 00:03:50,364
I mean, uh...
How do I meet me?
83
00:03:51,932 --> 00:03:53,934
I, uh...
Ah, forget it.
84
00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:55,736
Smooth, cliff.
85
00:03:57,805 --> 00:03:59,072
I hate her.
86
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:03,010
I love this place.
It's got a great feeling.
87
00:04:03,010 --> 00:04:04,812
Yeah, I knew
You'd like it.
88
00:04:04,812 --> 00:04:08,015
Sam, I tried reaching
The owner. No answer.
89
00:04:08,015 --> 00:04:09,683
O.K. Thank you, coach.
90
00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:11,952
You can call me
Louis armstrong.
91
00:04:17,024 --> 00:04:18,826
That must
Be your sammykins.
92
00:04:18,826 --> 00:04:21,995
He's gorgeous.
He's just as
You described him.
93
00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:23,163
Hey.
94
00:04:23,163 --> 00:04:25,299
Hi.
95
00:04:25,299 --> 00:04:29,036
But you didn't do justice
To his cologne.
96
00:04:29,036 --> 00:04:31,772
And you
Wanted me to switch.
97
00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:32,773
See?
98
00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:33,841
Heather landon,
99
00:04:33,841 --> 00:04:37,645
Meet sam "I reek,
Therefore I am" malone.
100
00:04:38,846 --> 00:04:40,147
How do you do?
101
00:04:40,147 --> 00:04:41,649
Oh, heather.
Heather.
102
00:04:41,649 --> 00:04:44,151
I've heard diane
Babble about you
A lot.
103
00:04:44,151 --> 00:04:45,853
You grew up
Together, right?
104
00:04:45,853 --> 00:04:48,856
Well, practically. We were
In grade school together.
105
00:04:48,856 --> 00:04:50,858
Heather hasn't
Changed a bit.
106
00:04:50,858 --> 00:04:53,727
Must have been
Some grade school.
107
00:04:53,727 --> 00:04:56,229
She just moved into
Town. Isn't that
Wonderful?
108
00:04:56,229 --> 00:04:57,898
That's great.
109
00:04:57,898 --> 00:05:00,868
I have to warn you,
When we get together,
We get a little goofy.
110
00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:03,437
I should have bought
One of those big
Goofies.
111
00:05:03,437 --> 00:05:05,072
I hear
They're on sale.
112
00:05:05,072 --> 00:05:06,674
Oh, cute and funny.
113
00:05:06,674 --> 00:05:09,076
You got lucky
This time, diane.
114
00:05:09,076 --> 00:05:11,679
Look at that, norm,
Just like the rest of them.
115
00:05:11,679 --> 00:05:14,682
Hung up on looks,
Personality, and style.
116
00:05:14,682 --> 00:05:15,883
Sam...
117
00:05:15,883 --> 00:05:19,487
Heather and I
Were best friends
In fourth grade.
118
00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:21,355
We always
Got in trouble.
119
00:05:21,355 --> 00:05:24,558
I've hate to tell you
Some of the things
She got me to do...
120
00:05:24,558 --> 00:05:27,027
Remember
The prank phone calls?
121
00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:28,729
Oh. Oh, yeah.
122
00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:29,563
Yeah. Ahem.
123
00:05:29,563 --> 00:05:31,565
This is the wtrm
Radio contest.
124
00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:32,900
For a trip
To hawaii,
125
00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:36,404
Name three cars
That start with "P."
126
00:05:36,404 --> 00:05:37,605
Go ahead.
127
00:05:38,506 --> 00:05:40,908
Porsche, plymouth,
And pontiac.
128
00:05:40,908 --> 00:05:44,645
No, I'm sorry.
Those cars
Start with gas.
129
00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:57,090
Har har.
130
00:05:59,527 --> 00:06:01,061
It's pathetic.
131
00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:04,765
Come on, heather, I'll
Show you the place.
132
00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:05,999
It was nice
Meeting you, sam.
133
00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:08,402
I'm just sorry
Diane got to you first.
134
00:06:08,402 --> 00:06:11,539
Yeah, I often regret
There's so many women
Out there
135
00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:13,073
And only one of me.
136
00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:16,577
Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
137
00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:17,945
What's wrong, sam?
138
00:06:17,945 --> 00:06:19,647
Are you kidding me?
You didn't see that?
139
00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:21,582
See what?
140
00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:22,950
What are you
Talking about?
141
00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:26,920
Guys, diane's best friend
Just came on to me.
142
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,756
You're crazy.
143
00:06:28,756 --> 00:06:30,958
You're with diane,
So she thinks
You're safe.
144
00:06:30,958 --> 00:06:32,960
Forget about
What she's saying.
145
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:35,162
I'm talking
About vibrations here.
146
00:06:35,162 --> 00:06:36,163
Listen, I know women.
147
00:06:36,163 --> 00:06:39,967
Diane's friend wants me.
148
00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:42,002
All right, I know
A thing or 2 here.
149
00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:44,838
I've had experience
With this sort
Of thing.
150
00:06:46,173 --> 00:06:47,808
You, norm?
151
00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:49,209
Yeah.
152
00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:51,011
When I was
Dating vera,
153
00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:53,881
Her little sister
Always used to
Prance around
154
00:06:53,881 --> 00:06:55,282
Wearing nothing
But a bikini
155
00:06:55,282 --> 00:06:57,618
Or flimsy little
Shorts or something.
156
00:06:57,618 --> 00:06:59,219
Yeah, she used to
Sit in my lap,
157
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:02,523
Make little jokes,
Whisper in my ear
How sexy I was.
158
00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:05,459
So I did it. I went
Ahead and asked
Her out.
159
00:07:05,459 --> 00:07:08,195
She turned me down
Flat.
160
00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:09,997
Vera knows this?
161
00:07:09,997 --> 00:07:13,901
Yeah, she was there
At the time. She was
Really furious.
162
00:07:13,901 --> 00:07:16,637
I bet she was.
I'm surprised she
Even married you.
163
00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:18,506
Yeah, well,
The ceremony was
In progress.
164
00:07:18,506 --> 00:07:23,010
Really wasn't much
To do about it.
165
00:07:23,010 --> 00:07:26,714
No, no. Look,
I know what you guys
Are talking about.
166
00:07:26,714 --> 00:07:29,216
There's a lot more
Going on here. Just trust me.
167
00:07:29,216 --> 00:07:31,985
Come on, sam, she seems
Like such a sweet kid.
168
00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:32,953
Yeah.
169
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:35,956
Yes, well, just as
Every good author
170
00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:39,159
Has had to work
Among the common people
171
00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:40,460
For material.
172
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:42,963
Ooh, muscles.
173
00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:49,036
Yeah, I think sammy's
Onto something here.
174
00:07:49,036 --> 00:07:51,505
The woman's
Obviously a vixen.
175
00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:52,706
Look, she's undressing
Every man in the bar
176
00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:54,775
With her eyes
Right now.
177
00:07:54,775 --> 00:07:58,078
No wonder I felt
Such a chill.
178
00:07:58,078 --> 00:08:00,147
Well, that's
Our little pub.
179
00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:03,784
Oh, diane, she hasn't
Seen all of it yet.
180
00:08:03,784 --> 00:08:06,286
You didn't show her
Sam's office.
181
00:08:06,286 --> 00:08:08,121
Oh, right.
182
00:08:08,121 --> 00:08:09,189
No, carla!
183
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:10,190
Get her!
184
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:11,191
[growling]
185
00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:12,192
Aah! Aah!
186
00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:20,033
Just some of that
Witty repartee you love.
187
00:08:21,735 --> 00:08:24,805
Carla, that was
A lousy thing to do.
188
00:08:27,474 --> 00:08:29,476
What the hell
Is that?
189
00:08:29,476 --> 00:08:31,478
Uh, it's an attack dog
190
00:08:31,478 --> 00:08:34,481
A friend of mine
Gave me, diane.
191
00:08:34,481 --> 00:08:36,016
He's good, huh?
192
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:36,984
Excellent.
193
00:08:36,984 --> 00:08:39,519
Coach, get
On the phone right away.
194
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:40,654
The phone.
195
00:08:40,654 --> 00:08:42,522
Diane, are you
All right?
196
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:45,092
Oh, yes.
You trained me well.
197
00:08:45,092 --> 00:08:47,661
Listen, I've really
Got to be going.
198
00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:49,096
Oh, right.
199
00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:52,666
But you and I and sam
Will have dinner tonight.
200
00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:54,301
I'm going to cook.
201
00:08:54,301 --> 00:08:55,502
Why?
202
00:08:55,502 --> 00:08:56,837
Well, to celebrate.
203
00:08:56,837 --> 00:08:59,840
Now that heather's
Going to be living here,
204
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:03,911
I want the three of us
To become really
Good friends.
205
00:09:03,911 --> 00:09:07,114
And I have a special
Recipe to try--
206
00:09:07,114 --> 00:09:08,616
My own veal oscar.
207
00:09:08,616 --> 00:09:10,618
That's the award you get
208
00:09:10,618 --> 00:09:13,453
If you can
Act like you like it.
209
00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:16,056
Heather, would you
Mind hanging on here
Just for a second?
210
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,157
A second?
211
00:09:17,157 --> 00:09:19,459
I want to talk
To diane in private.
212
00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:22,630
Oh, sure, sure.
Oh, I know what
You're going to do.
213
00:09:22,630 --> 00:09:23,831
[imitates kissing]
214
00:09:23,831 --> 00:09:25,666
I'll finish my coffee.
Ok, all right.
215
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,902
Sam, no answer yet.
Yeah, what?
216
00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,171
Just keep trying.
Keep trying.
217
00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:32,339
Look, sweetheart--
218
00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:33,340
Grrr!
219
00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:34,642
Hey, hey, come on.
220
00:09:35,643 --> 00:09:37,645
Listen,
Heather's o.K. And all,
221
00:09:37,645 --> 00:09:39,446
But, uh, I don't think
222
00:09:39,446 --> 00:09:43,316
We should hang out
Together too much
If you don't mind.
223
00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:45,018
Why not?
224
00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:48,021
Well, I just don't think
The 2 of us hit it off
That well.
225
00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:49,857
Oh,
You hit it off great.
226
00:09:49,857 --> 00:09:52,159
She said
She's nuts about you.
227
00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:54,862
Oh, yeah,
I'll bet she did.
I'll bet she did.
228
00:09:54,862 --> 00:09:58,165
Listen, I didn't
Want to have
To tell you this
229
00:09:58,165 --> 00:10:00,167
Because you're pals
And all,
230
00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:03,170
But she's coming on
To me gangbusters.
231
00:10:04,772 --> 00:10:07,607
What are you looking
At me like that for?
232
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,276
I can't believe
You're saying this.
233
00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:12,079
Well, I'll tell you
Something else, I need
A little help here
234
00:10:12,079 --> 00:10:15,115
Because I don't have
That much experience
Saying no to women.
235
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:16,884
The closest
I've ever gotten
236
00:10:16,884 --> 00:10:19,186
Is, "Not now.
We're landing."
237
00:10:19,186 --> 00:10:21,188
Hey, I'm just
Telling you this
238
00:10:21,188 --> 00:10:24,892
Because I think you ought
To keep the 2 of us apart,
That's all.
239
00:10:26,493 --> 00:10:27,828
What?
240
00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:29,296
This is staggering.
241
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:32,399
Do you think that
Every woman you see
242
00:10:32,399 --> 00:10:33,901
Is attracted to you?
243
00:10:33,901 --> 00:10:36,636
Honey, I've had enough
Women come on to me
244
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,839
To know
When it's happening,
And it's happening.
245
00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:42,409
I guess there's
Only one way
To convince you.
246
00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:43,811
Heather.
247
00:10:43,811 --> 00:10:45,846
W-wait a minute.
248
00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:47,948
What are you doing?
Diane, whoa.
249
00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:49,216
I'm going to ask her.
250
00:10:49,216 --> 00:10:50,918
On, on, please
Don't do that!
251
00:10:50,918 --> 00:10:53,420
I'm sorry
If it embarrasses you,
252
00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:55,088
But it serves you right.
253
00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:56,423
Heather.
254
00:10:56,423 --> 00:10:59,426
Honey,
I'm sorry if this will
Make you uncomfortable,
255
00:10:59,426 --> 00:11:01,962
But I want this
Out of the way
256
00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:05,432
So that the three of us
Can proceed
257
00:11:05,432 --> 00:11:08,235
To form
A lasting friendship.
258
00:11:08,235 --> 00:11:12,940
Sam just now mistook
Your innocent flirtation
259
00:11:12,940 --> 00:11:16,043
For a sexual overture.
260
00:11:16,043 --> 00:11:17,144
Oh.
261
00:11:17,144 --> 00:11:19,446
Will you
Explain to him
Your real feelings?
262
00:11:19,446 --> 00:11:20,748
Certainly.
263
00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:27,187
Sam, I want you,
And I don't care
Who knows it.
264
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:30,090
What?
265
00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:31,024
Gotcha!
266
00:11:34,928 --> 00:11:39,199
You're very attractive, sam,
But for me to give up my
Friendship with diane,
267
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:40,400
You'd have to be rich, too.
268
00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:26,279
See you tonight
For dinner. Bye.
269
00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:27,514
See you later.
270
00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:29,216
No, ma'am.
I'm sorry.
271
00:12:29,216 --> 00:12:31,351
Those cars
Start with gas.
272
00:12:34,021 --> 00:12:36,223
Let's call
Your mother now.
273
00:12:36,223 --> 00:12:37,457
Get out of here!
274
00:12:40,327 --> 00:12:43,530
Whitey, whitey,
Whitey, whitey, whitey,
275
00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:45,465
You're making a mistake.
276
00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:48,135
What do you mean?
277
00:12:48,135 --> 00:12:51,939
That so-called
Friend of yours
Is hot for sam.
278
00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:54,241
You, too? Everyone
Here is insane.
279
00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:56,176
Why would you
Think that?
280
00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:58,011
'cause sam thinks it.
281
00:12:58,011 --> 00:13:00,047
Not anymore, he doesn't.
282
00:13:00,047 --> 00:13:02,115
I trust
His first instincts.
283
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:04,117
When it comes
To dames,
284
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:06,119
Sam's got,
Like, an antenna
285
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:09,222
That picks up things
That you and I miss.
286
00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:12,725
It's like when dogs and cats
Know an earthquake's coming.
287
00:13:12,725 --> 00:13:13,994
Nobody could
Explain that.
288
00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:15,528
Well, that's
Simple, carla.
289
00:13:15,528 --> 00:13:18,431
You see, there are
Fissures and cracks
In the surface...
290
00:13:18,431 --> 00:13:20,600
Of your brain.
291
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:25,372
Please, don't
Distract diane
From her suffering.
292
00:13:25,372 --> 00:13:28,141
Diane, believe me,
You're being dense.
293
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:31,644
If sam says that woman
Is hot for him,
294
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,213
Bank on it.
295
00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:37,450
Oh, it's ludicrous.
296
00:13:39,086 --> 00:13:42,089
You know, the more
I think about this,
297
00:13:42,089 --> 00:13:45,092
The more I'm looking
Forward to tonight.
298
00:13:45,092 --> 00:13:48,095
I've never had
A woman just as
A friend before.
299
00:13:48,095 --> 00:13:49,829
I think this will be
Really good for me.
300
00:13:51,298 --> 00:13:52,599
Tonight?
301
00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:54,101
Yeah. Tonight, remember?
302
00:13:54,101 --> 00:13:56,769
You're cooking
That oscar mayer thingy.
303
00:13:56,769 --> 00:13:58,338
Veal oscar.
304
00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:01,408
Sam, I've had
Second thoughts
About that.
305
00:14:01,408 --> 00:14:04,411
Did you know that veal
Comes from baby cows?
306
00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:07,414
If you think
That I would take part
307
00:14:07,414 --> 00:14:09,716
In such a senseless
Slaughter, I--
308
00:14:09,716 --> 00:14:11,919
Hey, have
Whatever you want.
Open a can of beans.
309
00:14:11,919 --> 00:14:15,422
The important thing is
Getting to know heather.
310
00:14:15,422 --> 00:14:19,792
I think just being
Friends with a sexy
Woman like heather
311
00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:21,394
Is a big step
In my maturity.
312
00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:22,529
Hey, sam?
Yeah?
313
00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:25,632
We got to get
Into that office
To get stock.
314
00:14:25,632 --> 00:14:27,100
We're running out of gin,
315
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:29,102
And the kahlua martinis
Aren't moving.
316
00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:32,439
You know, it's not right
To ask you to dinner
317
00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:33,840
When you've got so much
On your mind.
318
00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:35,275
You know,
The dog and everything.
319
00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:36,476
Don't worry
About the dog.
320
00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:38,345
I'll take care of
The dog right now.
321
00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:41,048
One step ahead
Of you, sammy.
322
00:14:41,048 --> 00:14:44,851
I'm mixing a complimentary
Cocktail for the mutt.
323
00:14:44,851 --> 00:14:46,453
All right.
324
00:14:46,453 --> 00:14:48,922
I finally got hold
Of the owner, sam,
325
00:14:48,922 --> 00:14:50,457
And he said booze
Calms him right down.
326
00:14:50,457 --> 00:14:51,358
Oh, good.
327
00:14:51,358 --> 00:14:53,726
I just hope
The guy's thirsty.
328
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:55,028
Be careful.
329
00:14:56,663 --> 00:14:57,597
[growling]
330
00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:02,335
[sniffing]
331
00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:04,271
[drinking]
332
00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:07,674
[panting]
333
00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:08,808
[woof]
334
00:15:08,808 --> 00:15:10,110
[thud]
335
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:18,151
Oh, look at him. Aw.
336
00:15:18,151 --> 00:15:20,687
He's just
A big puppy dog.
337
00:15:20,687 --> 00:15:22,222
Whoa, whoa!
338
00:15:22,222 --> 00:15:25,225
Yes, you're a big
Doggy. Yes, you are.
339
00:15:25,225 --> 00:15:27,094
There's only
One problem, sam.
340
00:15:27,094 --> 00:15:28,495
Yeah, what?
341
00:15:28,495 --> 00:15:32,432
The owner said
Booze makes the dog
Very amorous.
342
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:33,500
Oh, yeah?
343
00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:35,735
[norm]
Aw, good boy.
Yes, he is.
344
00:15:35,735 --> 00:15:37,237
He's a good boy.
345
00:15:37,237 --> 00:15:40,373
Hey,
Not that good!
Whoa! Hey!
346
00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:45,145
[knock on door]
347
00:15:45,145 --> 00:15:47,480
Come on in, heather.
348
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:48,715
Hi.
349
00:15:48,715 --> 00:15:49,782
Hi.
350
00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:51,484
Oh, something
Smells great.
351
00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:52,785
Why, thank you.
352
00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:54,287
Dinner's almost ready.
353
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:55,788
Make yourself at home.
354
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,424
All right.
Thank you.
355
00:15:58,758 --> 00:16:00,827
Well, what
Do you think?
356
00:16:00,827 --> 00:16:02,329
About what?
357
00:16:02,329 --> 00:16:04,331
About this dress.
I just bought it today.
358
00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:06,533
I saw it, and I
Had to have it.
359
00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:08,368
Why did you buy a dress
Today of all days?
360
00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:11,304
You come into the bar,
You meet everybody,
361
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:14,507
And go out and get
A "Come get me" dress?
362
00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:15,675
Explain yourself.
363
00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:18,678
I just saw it today.
364
00:16:19,846 --> 00:16:21,014
Oh.
365
00:16:21,014 --> 00:16:22,549
Of course.
366
00:16:22,549 --> 00:16:26,019
You did what anyone
In your position
Would have done.
367
00:16:26,019 --> 00:16:27,754
Diane, is everything
All right?
368
00:16:27,754 --> 00:16:28,755
Yes, yes.
369
00:16:28,755 --> 00:16:29,856
You sure?
370
00:16:29,856 --> 00:16:31,558
Yes, of course.
371
00:16:31,558 --> 00:16:32,992
Back to work.
372
00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:36,863
I sure like sam.
373
00:16:36,863 --> 00:16:37,997
Slut!
374
00:16:44,771 --> 00:16:46,106
What?
375
00:16:46,106 --> 00:16:49,776
I--I said, uh,
Thanks a lot.
376
00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:52,779
Oh. Oh.
377
00:16:52,779 --> 00:16:53,713
You're welcome.
378
00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:57,317
[knock on door]
379
00:16:57,317 --> 00:16:58,285
Sam?
380
00:16:58,285 --> 00:16:59,719
Malone.
One for dinner.
381
00:17:01,054 --> 00:17:02,789
Do you have
Reservations?
382
00:17:02,789 --> 00:17:04,057
Plenty of them,
383
00:17:04,057 --> 00:17:05,325
But I came anyway.
384
00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:07,794
How are you doing?
Oh, here you go.
385
00:17:07,794 --> 00:17:09,162
Oh, nice.
Thanks.
386
00:17:09,162 --> 00:17:10,330
Hey, buddy.
387
00:17:10,330 --> 00:17:14,267
Hey, sam.
How you doing?
388
00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:17,404
Listen,
I want to apologize
For this afternoon.
389
00:17:17,404 --> 00:17:19,806
I was a little--
I was a little crazy.
390
00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:21,308
Here you go.
391
00:17:21,308 --> 00:17:22,609
I think
The three of us
392
00:17:22,609 --> 00:17:25,312
Are gonna be real
Good friends now.
393
00:17:25,312 --> 00:17:26,813
Don't you think?
394
00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:28,481
Yeah, I think so, too.
395
00:17:28,481 --> 00:17:29,816
Yeah, me, too.
396
00:17:29,816 --> 00:17:31,184
Let's get
To dinner.
397
00:17:31,184 --> 00:17:32,185
Whoa. What's the rush?
398
00:17:32,185 --> 00:17:34,187
Well, the sooner
We begin,
399
00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:36,055
The sooner
We can finish,
400
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:38,325
And then we can
Be finished.
401
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:42,762
Ahh.
402
00:17:56,843 --> 00:17:58,411
Isn't friendship
Great?
403
00:17:58,411 --> 00:17:59,546
Yeah.
404
00:18:01,714 --> 00:18:04,917
What's that saying
About friends and lovers?
405
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,919
Oh, yeah.
"Friends and lovers--
406
00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:08,921
Don't leave home
Without them."
407
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:10,089
Very funny!
408
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,858
Yeah. Wait
A minute.
409
00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:12,859
You're ticklish.
410
00:18:12,859 --> 00:18:13,926
Oh, you are!
411
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:15,094
Will you--
412
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:16,263
No! Please!
413
00:18:16,263 --> 00:18:17,797
Dinnertime!
414
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:21,901
You don't
Have to shout.
415
00:18:21,901 --> 00:18:24,604
We can hear you,
You know?
416
00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:26,072
Yes, of course.
417
00:18:26,072 --> 00:18:28,975
Hunger makes me
Want to shout.
418
00:18:28,975 --> 00:18:30,577
Well, come on.
419
00:18:30,577 --> 00:18:31,478
Whoa.
420
00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:33,280
Sorry I don't have
Place cards.
421
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:35,682
Oh, that's all right.
We'll just put sam
In the middle
422
00:18:35,682 --> 00:18:36,883
So we can share him.
423
00:18:36,883 --> 00:18:37,884
Okey-doke.
424
00:18:37,884 --> 00:18:38,951
Excusez-moi.
425
00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:40,453
I think
This is gonna be great,
426
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:42,222
Just the three of us.
427
00:18:42,222 --> 00:18:43,690
Three good friends.
428
00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:45,858
Yeah, like porthos,
Athos, and aramis.
429
00:18:45,858 --> 00:18:47,194
There you go.
430
00:18:47,194 --> 00:18:49,229
I don't think
Sam knows
That reference.
431
00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:51,198
Hey, I may not
Read books,
432
00:18:51,198 --> 00:18:52,899
But I know good music.
433
00:18:52,899 --> 00:18:53,833
Supremes, right?
434
00:18:55,235 --> 00:18:56,569
Fabulous.
435
00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:59,206
Hey. Yeah, sometimes
I surprise her.
436
00:18:59,206 --> 00:19:01,073
I bet you do.
437
00:19:01,073 --> 00:19:02,709
O.K., well,
Here we go.
438
00:19:02,709 --> 00:19:05,712
Hope you didn't
Have spaghetti
For lunch.
439
00:19:05,712 --> 00:19:08,715
I thought we were
Having veal oscar.
440
00:19:08,715 --> 00:19:11,518
There are remnants
Of it in the sauce.
441
00:19:11,518 --> 00:19:15,522
I thought we weren't going
To do anything with veal.
442
00:19:15,522 --> 00:19:18,758
Um, well,
This sucker
Was already dead.
443
00:19:20,327 --> 00:19:22,762
Well, it looks
Divine, diane.
444
00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:23,930
Aw, thanks.
445
00:19:23,930 --> 00:19:25,232
Bon appetit.
446
00:19:28,235 --> 00:19:31,904
Oh, diane, remember
The way we used to eat
"Pasghetti" when we were kids?
447
00:19:31,904 --> 00:19:33,940
No.
448
00:19:33,940 --> 00:19:35,308
Like this.
449
00:19:47,053 --> 00:19:48,355
Oh, that was good.
450
00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:50,056
That was good.
451
00:19:50,056 --> 00:19:52,191
All right,
Let me try.
452
00:19:57,597 --> 00:20:00,132
You got some sauce
On your blouse there.
453
00:20:00,132 --> 00:20:01,634
Oh.
454
00:20:03,370 --> 00:20:05,204
Thanks for
Your discretion.
455
00:20:06,138 --> 00:20:08,275
This is
Wonderful spaghetti.
456
00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:10,610
Mmm.
457
00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:11,611
Mmm.
458
00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:14,914
And the pasta is cooked
Just perfectly.
459
00:20:14,914 --> 00:20:15,948
Oh, yeah.
460
00:20:15,948 --> 00:20:18,385
It's firm, yet it
Yields to the bite.
461
00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:21,187
That's exactly the way
It should be.
462
00:20:21,187 --> 00:20:22,822
Here, take a bite
Off the end of this.
463
00:20:22,822 --> 00:20:25,057
Oh, yeah, that's good.
Here, try mine.
464
00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:27,260
Oh, yours?
465
00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:28,395
There you go.
466
00:20:28,395 --> 00:20:30,129
Oh, yours is good, too.
467
00:20:30,129 --> 00:20:32,832
Mmm!
Oh, boy.
468
00:20:36,703 --> 00:20:37,704
Oh...
469
00:20:37,704 --> 00:20:39,439
What?
470
00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:43,075
Mmm. This garlic bread
Is magnificent.
471
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,377
Yeah, I'll--
472
00:20:44,377 --> 00:20:46,479
Wait.
Have some of mine.
473
00:20:46,479 --> 00:20:48,415
Ooh, hot, hot, hot!
474
00:20:48,415 --> 00:20:50,717
You don't even
Have to chew it.
475
00:20:50,717 --> 00:20:54,421
You set it
In your mouth,
And it melts.
476
00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:56,923
Boy, yeah.
Good eats. Good eats.
477
00:20:58,157 --> 00:21:00,860
Oh, you have
A little sauce
478
00:21:00,860 --> 00:21:02,228
Right there in the--
479
00:21:02,228 --> 00:21:03,563
Here?
480
00:21:03,563 --> 00:21:05,565
Don't want
To waste it.
481
00:21:05,565 --> 00:21:07,033
The other side there.
482
00:21:07,033 --> 00:21:08,034
Hmm? Hmm?
483
00:21:08,034 --> 00:21:10,337
Stop it!
484
00:21:10,337 --> 00:21:13,039
Stop it right now!
I mean it, heather!
485
00:21:13,039 --> 00:21:14,173
What?
486
00:21:14,173 --> 00:21:17,644
What? You know what.
487
00:21:17,644 --> 00:21:20,647
You know perfectly
Well what.
488
00:21:20,647 --> 00:21:23,049
You think I don't know
What's going on here?
489
00:21:23,049 --> 00:21:25,051
Spaghetti, sauce,
Bread--
490
00:21:25,051 --> 00:21:26,453
Have you no shame?
491
00:21:28,054 --> 00:21:31,458
Now what the hell's
The matter with you?
492
00:21:31,458 --> 00:21:33,860
I know what
That was all about.
493
00:21:33,860 --> 00:21:35,395
You think
I don't know
What noodles mean
494
00:21:35,395 --> 00:21:38,264
In sexual lingo?
495
00:21:38,264 --> 00:21:40,066
And sauce?
496
00:21:40,066 --> 00:21:41,568
I read my freud.
497
00:21:42,602 --> 00:21:45,372
Diane, we were just
Enjoying the meal.
498
00:21:45,372 --> 00:21:46,673
Oh, don't
Give me that.
499
00:21:46,673 --> 00:21:48,007
That meal's
Inedible.
500
00:21:48,007 --> 00:21:49,809
You know something,
501
00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:52,679
You're doing
The same thing I did
This afternoon,
502
00:21:52,679 --> 00:21:54,914
And you called me nuts.
503
00:21:57,083 --> 00:21:59,051
No, sam,
It's all right.
504
00:21:59,051 --> 00:22:00,787
It's not surprising.
505
00:22:00,787 --> 00:22:03,690
It's just I'm
A very sort of friendly
And outgoing person.
506
00:22:03,690 --> 00:22:05,224
Sometimes people
Misinterpret it.
507
00:22:05,224 --> 00:22:08,194
I'm just very surprised
It came from you, diane.
508
00:22:08,194 --> 00:22:09,629
Yeah, me, too.
509
00:22:14,901 --> 00:22:16,202
Oh, heather.
510
00:22:16,202 --> 00:22:17,704
What am I saying?
511
00:22:17,704 --> 00:22:20,373
I must really
Be paranoid,
Mustn't I?
512
00:22:21,608 --> 00:22:22,742
No.
513
00:22:22,742 --> 00:22:24,744
It's happened
To me before.
514
00:22:24,744 --> 00:22:27,179
It's happened
To everyone before.
515
00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:28,648
Heather...
516
00:22:30,116 --> 00:22:31,618
I'm so sorry.
517
00:22:32,919 --> 00:22:35,021
She didn't mean it,
Heather.
518
00:22:38,425 --> 00:22:41,928
How can you
Be eating now?
519
00:22:42,962 --> 00:22:45,865
I've eaten through
Worse than this.
520
00:22:50,136 --> 00:22:51,070
Well...
521
00:22:52,472 --> 00:22:53,473
Goodbye.
522
00:22:53,473 --> 00:22:54,741
Heather,
Where are you going?
523
00:22:54,741 --> 00:22:56,142
You're not leaving,
Are you?
524
00:22:56,142 --> 00:22:57,744
Well,
Paranoid or not,
525
00:22:57,744 --> 00:22:59,546
I'm obviously
Making diane
Uncomfortable.
526
00:22:59,546 --> 00:23:01,848
Honestly, no!
527
00:23:05,952 --> 00:23:10,790
Our friendship
Is the most important
Friendship in my life,
528
00:23:10,790 --> 00:23:14,461
And I would never,
Never do anything
529
00:23:14,461 --> 00:23:16,596
To intentionally
Hurt it.
530
00:23:17,797 --> 00:23:19,732
Please forgive me
And stay.
531
00:23:20,967 --> 00:23:22,902
Oh, of course.
532
00:23:22,902 --> 00:23:25,104
Couldn't throw away
20 years.
533
00:23:29,609 --> 00:23:31,578
Aw, that's beautiful.
534
00:23:32,512 --> 00:23:34,981
I just want
To thank you
535
00:23:34,981 --> 00:23:38,184
For letting me
Be part of this.
That was very sweet.
536
00:23:38,184 --> 00:23:39,351
Oh, sam.
537
00:23:39,351 --> 00:23:40,653
You are so sweet.
538
00:23:40,653 --> 00:23:42,489
Aw, hey, well...
539
00:23:46,192 --> 00:23:47,226
Yeah. Hey.
36392
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