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1
00:00:03,704 --> 00:00:06,074
"Cheers" is filmed before
A live studio audience.
2
00:00:06,074 --> 00:00:08,709
Ooh, a gift.
3
00:00:08,709 --> 00:00:10,178
Who's it for?
4
00:00:10,178 --> 00:00:11,512
It's for harry.
5
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:15,516
Why are you giving a gift
To that con man?
6
00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:17,851
To pay him back
For all the times
He's conned us.
7
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:21,155
Coach found
A trick wallet
In a novelty shop.
8
00:00:21,155 --> 00:00:23,191
Yeah, what you do is
You open it up, see, honey,
9
00:00:23,191 --> 00:00:27,195
And flames come up
Right up to your face.
10
00:00:27,195 --> 00:00:29,263
Oh, isn't this
A little cruel?
11
00:00:29,263 --> 00:00:31,265
No, no.
It's harmless, really.
12
00:00:31,265 --> 00:00:35,035
That's why we didn't
Give it to you.
13
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:36,270
He's coming!
Here he comes!
14
00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:37,771
Ok, here we go.
15
00:00:37,771 --> 00:00:39,440
Hey, harry!
It's harry!
16
00:00:41,475 --> 00:00:43,844
Boy, am I glad
To see you, harry.
17
00:00:43,844 --> 00:00:45,513
You are?
18
00:00:45,513 --> 00:00:48,416
Are you kidding me?
You are a valued customer
And a friend.
19
00:00:48,416 --> 00:00:49,717
I was feeling kind of bad
20
00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:52,553
About all the times
I kicked you out,
21
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,855
So I just wanted to show you
There's no bad blood
Between us.
22
00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:56,390
It's from all of us.
23
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,459
For me?
24
00:00:58,459 --> 00:01:01,595
Well, gosh, guys,
I never expected
Anything like this.
25
00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:04,598
I mean, no one's ever
Given me anything
Voluntarily.
26
00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:07,168
Should I save it
For christmas?
27
00:01:07,168 --> 00:01:09,837
No. Please, harry,
Open it now. Really.
28
00:01:09,837 --> 00:01:11,472
Come on,
It's a hot one.
29
00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:17,311
Aw, it's a wallet!
30
00:01:17,311 --> 00:01:18,879
Well, it's just
A little gesture.
31
00:01:18,879 --> 00:01:20,614
It's beautiful!
32
00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:22,416
Can't wait.
33
00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:25,253
Oh, I'm so touched.
34
00:01:25,253 --> 00:01:26,687
Oh, hey,
Don't mention it.
35
00:01:26,687 --> 00:01:30,258
Gee. Harry,
Aren't you going
To open it?
36
00:01:30,258 --> 00:01:31,525
Well, sure.
37
00:01:31,525 --> 00:01:33,627
Harry,
Back from your face
38
00:01:33,627 --> 00:01:35,663
So we can all see.
39
00:01:39,133 --> 00:01:40,534
Aw!
40
00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:43,504
Gee, it was funnier
In the store.
41
00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:45,739
Must be
$50 or $60 here.
42
00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:47,541
You guys
Are too much!
43
00:01:47,541 --> 00:01:49,042
I'll never
Forget this.
44
00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:51,179
Thanks a lot!
Gosh!
45
00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:55,683
That wallet look
Familiar to anybody?
46
00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:57,751
Aah!
Aah!
47
00:01:57,751 --> 00:01:59,187
Aah!
Aah!
48
00:01:59,187 --> 00:02:00,754
Give me some beer!
49
00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:02,156
Don't you dare!
50
00:02:05,593 --> 00:02:08,196
* makin' your way
In the world today *
51
00:02:08,196 --> 00:02:11,332
* takes everything
You've got *
52
00:02:11,332 --> 00:02:13,901
* takin' a break
From all your worries *
53
00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:16,136
* sure would help a lot *
54
00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:20,741
* wouldn't you like
To get away? *
55
00:02:23,277 --> 00:02:25,279
* sometimes
You wanna go *
56
00:02:25,279 --> 00:02:28,782
* where everybody
Knows your name *
57
00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:34,355
* and they're always
Glad you came *
58
00:02:35,456 --> 00:02:37,658
* you wanna be
Where you can see *
59
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:40,328
* our troubles
Are all the same *
60
00:02:40,328 --> 00:02:45,499
* you wanna be where
Everybody knows your name *
61
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:48,168
* you wanna go
Where people know *
62
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,671
* people are all the same *
63
00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:55,543
* you wanna go where
Everybody knows your name *
64
00:03:13,093 --> 00:03:14,495
Come on, you guys.
65
00:03:14,495 --> 00:03:16,497
My boyfriend
Has been dying
66
00:03:16,497 --> 00:03:18,499
To see
This hagler fellow.
67
00:03:18,499 --> 00:03:20,701
How is a waitress
Like me gonna
Come up with $200?
68
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:21,635
Come on!
69
00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:23,170
I don't care what
You do, lady.
70
00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:25,806
We can scalp these tickets
At the arena.
71
00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:27,308
Ok, I'll pay.
72
00:03:27,308 --> 00:03:28,809
I'll pay the $200.
73
00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:31,612
Coach, can you give me
My purse, please?
Sure, honey.
74
00:03:31,612 --> 00:03:33,614
I still think
It's exorbitant
For a prizefight.
75
00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:35,316
Hey, it's marvin hagler.
76
00:03:35,316 --> 00:03:37,818
It's the prizefight
Of the year.
77
00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:38,986
Yeah, yeah.
78
00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:42,055
I assume that
A check will do.
79
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,624
Yeah. Anything.
80
00:03:43,624 --> 00:03:47,661
Make it out to phil kepler
Medical corporation.
81
00:03:50,531 --> 00:03:52,065
I thought I recognized
82
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:53,967
That natural
Compassion, doctor.
83
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,610
He's a lucky man.
84
00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:05,613
By the way, I could
Remove that little thing
85
00:04:05,613 --> 00:04:08,449
In my office
In about 30 minutes.
86
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:17,791
Sammy.
87
00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:19,192
Yes?
88
00:04:19,192 --> 00:04:21,462
Surprise.
89
00:04:22,496 --> 00:04:24,031
Aw, don't tell me.
90
00:04:24,031 --> 00:04:27,368
The exhibit of
Norwegian woodcuts
Is back in town.
91
00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:31,339
Holy moley!
92
00:04:31,339 --> 00:04:33,707
What is it, sam?
93
00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:34,942
Look at this!
94
00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:35,909
Holy moley!
95
00:04:35,909 --> 00:04:39,112
Surely it's not
That big a thing.
96
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,581
Are you kidding me? Look.
97
00:04:40,581 --> 00:04:42,416
Holy moley!
Holy moley!
98
00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:46,219
But how'd you do it?
I mean, these things
Are impossible to get.
99
00:04:46,219 --> 00:04:47,821
Well, it wasn't easy.
100
00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:50,524
They originally belonged
To two young men in the bar,
101
00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:53,093
But after I was
Finished waiting on them--
102
00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:55,463
They were two old men.
103
00:04:58,265 --> 00:05:00,468
They succumbed
To my charms.
104
00:05:00,468 --> 00:05:02,936
Oh. They were
Two blind men.
105
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:06,840
Oh, thank you so much!
106
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:11,278
Later on tonight,
You can redeem that
For a real thank you.
107
00:05:11,278 --> 00:05:13,681
You know what I mean?
Come on, let's go,
We don't have that much time.
108
00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:16,650
Sam, there's one proviso
With the fight tickets--
109
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,686
That you not take me
With you
110
00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:21,689
Or tell me about it
Later.
111
00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:22,790
Ok.
112
00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:25,926
Gee, I wonder
Who I should take.
113
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:33,667
All right, you guys,
I've got to change.
114
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,669
You figure this out
Amongst yourselves.
115
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:38,872
Cannot believe I'm going
To the hagler fight!
116
00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:39,973
Oh, diane...
117
00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:42,643
I love you.
118
00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:46,514
All right, we
Got one ticket
And four guys.
119
00:05:46,514 --> 00:05:48,115
What are we
Gonna do?
120
00:05:48,115 --> 00:05:51,519
I got a great idea.
I'll think of a number
From 1 to 10.
121
00:05:51,519 --> 00:05:53,921
Who comes the closest
Gets to go with sam.
122
00:05:53,921 --> 00:05:55,188
Fair enough.
123
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:56,189
Ok? Normie.
124
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,190
Uh, seven.
125
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:58,258
Carla?
126
00:05:58,258 --> 00:05:59,359
Nine.
127
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:00,561
Two.
128
00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:02,496
I'll say three.
129
00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:04,432
Wait a minute.
130
00:06:04,432 --> 00:06:06,934
Uh, coach, you
Can't say anything.
131
00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:08,669
You know what it is.
132
00:06:08,669 --> 00:06:10,337
I know. It's six.
133
00:06:10,337 --> 00:06:12,172
Why did you say three?
134
00:06:12,172 --> 00:06:13,507
Three's my lucky number.
135
00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:16,510
Now, coach, I want
In on this, too.
136
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,512
Get out of here!
137
00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:23,350
Sam.
138
00:06:23,350 --> 00:06:24,852
Sam.
139
00:06:24,852 --> 00:06:28,456
I don't know about
This new cologne
You bought me.
140
00:06:28,456 --> 00:06:31,525
One or two showers,
And it's all gone.
141
00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:39,600
Sam, I want you to know
142
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:43,604
That what you just
Said out there just now...
143
00:06:43,604 --> 00:06:45,773
Set my heart
To pounding.
144
00:06:46,774 --> 00:06:49,643
Boy, one thinks
One knows oneself,
145
00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:51,144
But all those preconceptions
Fly out the window
146
00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:54,047
When the man
In your life says,
"I love you."
147
00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:57,485
Who said that?
148
00:07:00,353 --> 00:07:01,722
You did.
149
00:07:01,722 --> 00:07:04,492
Oh, hey, honey,
Don't worry about that.
150
00:07:04,492 --> 00:07:06,093
That doesn't mean
Anything.
151
00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:11,565
It doesn't?
152
00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:15,636
No. I've used that
As a line on 100 girls.
153
00:07:18,205 --> 00:07:20,307
You've never
Said it to me.
154
00:07:20,307 --> 00:07:22,976
Are you kidding?
I wouldn't waste
A line on you.
155
00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:27,347
Now, what I mean
By that is--
156
00:07:27,347 --> 00:07:30,183
You're not the kind
Of girl that you
Use a line on.
157
00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:34,287
You're the kind of
Girl that falls
For sincerity.
158
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:35,923
I don't mean that,
Either.
159
00:07:35,923 --> 00:07:37,925
Come on, honey, it's
Just something I say.
"I love you."
160
00:07:37,925 --> 00:07:39,560
I say it to coach
All the time,
161
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:43,363
I say it to anybody
Who gets me tickets
To the hagler fight.
162
00:07:43,363 --> 00:07:45,666
I just say it,
That's all.
163
00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:47,835
Sam, get back in here.
164
00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:54,007
I think I know
What you're saying.
165
00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:57,210
When I and everyone
Else in the world
166
00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:58,546
Say, "I love you,"
167
00:07:58,546 --> 00:07:59,913
We are opening up
168
00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:03,150
The very core
Of our being.
169
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:04,685
When you say it,
170
00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:08,989
You're just
Clearing your throat.
171
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:10,090
Well put.
172
00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:12,960
Sam!
173
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,795
I'm getting confused here.
174
00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:16,096
You just gave me tickets
To a fight you know
I want to see,
175
00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:18,766
And now you won't
Let me go see it.
176
00:08:18,766 --> 00:08:21,101
What is this, some kind
Of test or something?
177
00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:24,071
What does
Our relationship
Mean to you?
178
00:08:24,071 --> 00:08:25,706
It means a lot.
179
00:08:28,075 --> 00:08:29,442
Go on.
180
00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:30,578
Oh, thank you.
181
00:08:30,578 --> 00:08:33,947
Sam, stop!
182
00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:35,916
I have spent
Three months writing
In my journal,
183
00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:38,919
Filling page
After page
184
00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:40,453
With thoughts
Concerning us.
185
00:08:40,453 --> 00:08:42,455
I have consumed
Entire weekends
186
00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:43,924
Trying to discover
187
00:08:43,924 --> 00:08:45,926
Exactly what our
Relationship means.
188
00:08:45,926 --> 00:08:49,129
And what do I get
From you?
189
00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:51,131
"It means a lot."
190
00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:54,367
Can you see why
I'm so furious?
191
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:55,603
Sure, you work
On it for months.
192
00:08:55,603 --> 00:08:58,405
I get it just like that.
193
00:08:58,405 --> 00:09:00,007
If you leave,
We're through.
194
00:09:00,007 --> 00:09:01,474
Don't! Don't
Give me ultimatums.
I hate ultimatums.
195
00:09:01,474 --> 00:09:03,476
You give me
An ultimatum,
196
00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:05,378
And we're through.
197
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,180
What?
198
00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:08,481
That's better.
199
00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:10,083
So?
200
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:13,220
So, sammy, guess
Who cut the high card
For the extra ticket.
201
00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:15,989
Come on, harry.
202
00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:19,492
Please, harry,
Don't get us into
Any trouble tonight.
203
00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:21,494
Come on, I'll be good.
204
00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:23,563
In fact, I'm driving.
205
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:26,634
What kind of car
Do you want to take?
206
00:09:41,048 --> 00:09:45,686
* she aches
Just like a woman *
207
00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:48,321
* queen mary *
208
00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:49,556
[knock knock]
209
00:09:49,556 --> 00:09:51,558
* she's my friend *
210
00:09:51,558 --> 00:09:52,760
[knock knock]
211
00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:58,498
Come on, diane.
I know you're up.
212
00:09:58,498 --> 00:09:59,933
Your candles are on.
213
00:10:02,502 --> 00:10:03,804
What do you want?
214
00:10:03,804 --> 00:10:06,006
I want to come in,
215
00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:06,940
I think.
216
00:10:12,545 --> 00:10:13,947
Insy-daisy.
217
00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:21,554
Hey, hey, hey.
Wow, you're drunk.
218
00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:24,224
Wow, you're stupid.
219
00:10:28,528 --> 00:10:31,131
I'll be sober
In the morning.
220
00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:39,306
What are we
Drinking here?
221
00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:41,308
Vino.
222
00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:44,311
Listen, diane, I know
Why you're doing this.
223
00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:47,614
It's my fault,
And I'm sorry.
224
00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:49,516
Don't flatter yourself.
225
00:10:49,516 --> 00:10:53,153
No, it is. My walking out
In the middle of an argument
Wasn't exactly...
226
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:55,255
Boy, you know,
When I was a kid,
227
00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:57,390
I used to have nightmares
About places like this.
228
00:10:58,959 --> 00:11:01,094
Think you could...
Yeah.
229
00:11:03,063 --> 00:11:04,932
Oh! No bats.
230
00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:10,637
Listen,
I came over here
For a reason.
231
00:11:10,637 --> 00:11:12,139
I brought you this.
Come on, come on.
232
00:11:12,139 --> 00:11:14,274
It's a present.
Open it.
233
00:11:15,642 --> 00:11:18,645
You bought me a present
At this hour?
234
00:11:18,645 --> 00:11:19,813
What's time?
235
00:11:19,813 --> 00:11:22,349
When your lady's
Owed a present,
236
00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:23,784
She gets a present.
237
00:11:31,658 --> 00:11:33,160
What is it?
238
00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:35,295
It's a boxing glove
Purse.
239
00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:42,135
How much did you pay
For this?
240
00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:43,670
Hey, price
Is no object.
241
00:11:43,670 --> 00:11:45,472
Obviously.
242
00:11:47,674 --> 00:11:49,376
Big shot.
243
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:51,478
Big athlete shot.
244
00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:54,181
Boy,
You really are bombed.
245
00:11:54,181 --> 00:11:56,683
I better get you
Some coffee here.
246
00:11:56,683 --> 00:11:59,519
I am bombed,
247
00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:01,688
But I have been doing
248
00:12:01,688 --> 00:12:04,691
Some very clear
Thinking tonight...
249
00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:07,494
About us.
250
00:12:08,695 --> 00:12:11,899
I have decided...
251
00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:15,702
That if it isn't worth
Examining what we have,
252
00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:18,338
Maybe we don't
Have anything.
253
00:12:19,672 --> 00:12:21,341
Aw, come on, wait
A minute here.
254
00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:23,743
You're not thinking
About ending this,
Are you?
255
00:12:25,512 --> 00:12:28,215
I'll have you know that
When I was in high school,
256
00:12:28,215 --> 00:12:33,520
I was voted
The girl most likely
To marry into old money.
257
00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:39,059
Here, drink this.
It will make you
Feel better.
258
00:12:39,059 --> 00:12:41,728
Nothing's gonna
Make me feel better,
259
00:12:41,728 --> 00:12:44,597
But this will
Make me feel better.
260
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,433
Ok. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
261
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:47,901
Now, you're upset
262
00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:50,737
About my not
Thinking about
Our relationship.
263
00:12:50,737 --> 00:12:52,172
Am I right?
264
00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:56,076
Yes, sir.
265
00:12:56,076 --> 00:12:59,246
All right. I will
Start thinking about
Our relationship.
266
00:12:59,246 --> 00:13:02,482
Maybe we should
Take some time off,
267
00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:05,252
Yeah, you know,
Not see each other
For a while.
268
00:13:05,252 --> 00:13:06,719
That way
I'll just have one
Thing on my mind
269
00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:08,021
The whole time.
270
00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:10,790
One more than you
Usually have.
271
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:15,328
Come on now, listen,
How long should we take?
272
00:13:18,498 --> 00:13:20,400
I don't know.
273
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,069
A week
Would be nice.
274
00:13:22,069 --> 00:13:23,770
Oh. Well, all right,
All right,
275
00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:25,906
We'll split up
For a week.
276
00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:27,908
Then we'll
Get back together,
277
00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:30,343
And we'll compare
Thinks. Huh?
278
00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:32,445
Yes, sir. Fine.
279
00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:33,380
Ok.
280
00:13:34,915 --> 00:13:37,217
However, I must warn you.
281
00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:38,919
If you come up
With nothing,
282
00:13:38,919 --> 00:13:41,889
And I come up
With nothing...
283
00:13:41,889 --> 00:13:43,991
Hey, come on,
Don't worry
About that.
284
00:13:43,991 --> 00:13:46,193
I'll come up
With something.
285
00:13:46,193 --> 00:13:47,460
I promise.
286
00:13:49,262 --> 00:13:51,431
You sure you're
Gonna be all right?
287
00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:53,200
Yes, sir.
288
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:56,970
I'm not going to waste
Any time at all.
289
00:13:56,970 --> 00:14:00,207
I'm going to start
Thinking right now.
290
00:14:08,781 --> 00:14:10,217
That's my girl.
291
00:14:21,794 --> 00:14:24,932
I thought I was
A disgusting drunk.
292
00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:29,836
Whoa!
293
00:14:29,836 --> 00:14:30,837
Wow!
294
00:14:30,837 --> 00:14:31,838
Whoa!
295
00:14:31,838 --> 00:14:33,840
What a night!
296
00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:35,475
It's not over yet.
297
00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:38,711
Everybody, please
Step into clifford's
Poker emporium.
298
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:39,879
If you put a gun
To my head,
299
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,081
I couldn't remember
The last time
300
00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:43,150
I was in an all-night
Poker game.
301
00:14:43,150 --> 00:14:45,452
Cliff, these cards
You bought at
The strip joint...
302
00:14:45,452 --> 00:14:49,322
The sexy ladies
Are all wearing
Bikinis.
303
00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:52,993
You got to rub it off
With a dime.
304
00:14:54,861 --> 00:14:56,863
Let me see, will ya, cliff?
305
00:14:56,863 --> 00:14:59,266
Ahh...
306
00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:00,500
There's something
Wrong here.
307
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:03,170
I can't get the bikini
Off my girl.
308
00:15:03,170 --> 00:15:05,005
Story of your life.
309
00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:08,375
Boy, I tell you,
That's the first time
310
00:15:08,375 --> 00:15:11,578
I've been in
The combat zone sober.
311
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,380
Just goes to show you
312
00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:16,683
You can still have a good time
Without drinking
313
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:19,886
As long as you're surrounded
By naked broads
314
00:15:19,886 --> 00:15:22,389
Shaking their wallies
In your face.
315
00:15:22,389 --> 00:15:24,391
Words to live by,
Gentlemen.
316
00:15:24,391 --> 00:15:26,426
We did have a good time,
Didn't we?
317
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:27,927
Well, it's all thanks
To our fearless leader
318
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:30,030
Who won
The chugging contest,
319
00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:32,399
Yelled crude remarks
At the strippers,
320
00:15:32,399 --> 00:15:34,667
And punched out
A couple of bouncers.
321
00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:35,969
Where is our leader
Anyway?
322
00:15:35,969 --> 00:15:37,604
Here she is right now.
323
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:40,040
Hey!
Carla!
Hey!
324
00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:42,675
Hey, norm.
325
00:15:42,675 --> 00:15:45,045
You left these
In the car.
326
00:15:47,414 --> 00:15:49,482
Why did the stripper
Throw them at you,
Norm?
327
00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:51,484
Women happen to be
Attracted to me, alan,
328
00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:53,420
Like moths to a flame,
You know,
329
00:15:53,420 --> 00:15:56,189
Like honey bees
To a flower.
330
00:15:56,189 --> 00:15:58,625
Like flies
To a road apple.
331
00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:08,368
Carla, how do you
Know so much about
That combat zone?
332
00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:10,870
Oh, my ex always
Use to take me there.
333
00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:13,440
He loved the theater.
You know...
334
00:16:14,907 --> 00:16:16,976
We were actually there
For the premiere
335
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:19,112
Of college girls
Totally nude.
336
00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:20,147
No kidding?
337
00:16:20,147 --> 00:16:21,681
Isn't this terrific?
338
00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:22,815
I mean,
The whole week.
339
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,317
Nothing against diane,
340
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:27,720
But it feels so good
To get out with
The guys again.
341
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:28,721
Oh, yeah.
342
00:16:28,721 --> 00:16:30,190
Yeah, you made
A big mistake
343
00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:31,758
Telling diane
"I love you."
344
00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:34,461
You say that to a
Girl, they make a
Big deal out of it.
345
00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:38,198
You say it to a guy,
It doesn't mean
Anything at all.
346
00:16:38,198 --> 00:16:40,200
Go ahead,
Say it to me,
For example.
347
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,235
Norm, I love you.
348
00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:45,238
I was wrong.
349
00:16:48,541 --> 00:16:50,310
Well, time's running out
There, sammy.
350
00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:52,045
What are you gonna
Tell diane when she
Wants to hear
351
00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:55,048
The results
Of your thinking fest?
352
00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:57,250
Boy, I don't know.
I'm thinking about it
A million times,
353
00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:58,985
But I keep coming up
With nothing.
354
00:16:58,985 --> 00:17:00,820
I mean,
What's the big deal here?
355
00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:02,322
I don't need a week.
356
00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:04,957
I mean,
What was I known for
When I was playing ball?
357
00:17:04,957 --> 00:17:07,227
Giving up tape
Measure home runs?
358
00:17:07,227 --> 00:17:09,028
Chasing anything
With a skirt?
359
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,797
Drinking yourself
Senseless?
360
00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:12,832
Coming through
In the clutch.
361
00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:14,701
Oh.
Right.
Yeah.
362
00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:18,771
Yeah. No, no.
I need the pressure.
363
00:17:18,771 --> 00:17:20,540
The slugger at the plate.
364
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:21,841
Bases loaded.
365
00:17:21,841 --> 00:17:27,214
Thousands of fans chanting,
"Mayday, mayday, mayday."
366
00:17:27,214 --> 00:17:28,581
You'll see, you'll see.
367
00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:30,617
Tomorrow will come.
I'll be there.
368
00:17:30,617 --> 00:17:32,152
Well, it's getting
On there, sammy.
369
00:17:32,152 --> 00:17:34,053
Tomorrow's today.
It's past midnight.
370
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:36,089
Oh, come on, you don't
Think she's gonna come
Marching in now. Do you?
371
00:17:36,089 --> 00:17:37,557
I mean,
Nobody's that crazy.
372
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,426
Evening, everyone.
373
00:17:41,027 --> 00:17:42,695
I'm back.
374
00:17:42,695 --> 00:17:45,665
Mayday, mayday, mayday.
375
00:17:49,269 --> 00:17:52,272
Oh, sam, I couldn't
Wait to see you
376
00:17:52,272 --> 00:17:53,573
After an excruciating week
377
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:57,510
Of deep and torturous
Soul searching...
378
00:17:57,510 --> 00:18:01,448
But I wouldn't want to
Get in the way of your fun time.
379
00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:02,849
No, no, come on,
You're right.
You're right.
380
00:18:02,849 --> 00:18:04,050
It's a party.
It's a victory party.
381
00:18:04,050 --> 00:18:06,085
You see, I got it.
382
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:07,920
You got what?
383
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,055
Our relationship.
384
00:18:09,055 --> 00:18:10,790
I mean, tonight,
All of a sudden,
385
00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:12,292
It came
Perfectly clear,
386
00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:15,228
And I decided
To celebrate there.
387
00:18:15,228 --> 00:18:16,729
Oh, sam,
That's wonderful.
388
00:18:16,729 --> 00:18:17,964
Well, tell me.
389
00:18:17,964 --> 00:18:20,767
And I can't wait
To tell you,
I can't wait.
390
00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:25,305
But I just need
A couple of minutes
To polish it up.
391
00:18:25,305 --> 00:18:26,873
It's pretty good.
It's pretty good.
392
00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:28,641
But I need to
Just rearrange the
Words just a little.
393
00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:30,943
Two minutes?
394
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:32,245
Of course.
395
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:35,415
Stall.
396
00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:39,952
Diane.
397
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:41,454
Yeah. Hi, guys.
398
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:44,891
You, uh...
Go anywhere?
399
00:18:46,659 --> 00:18:49,962
Well, I spent some time
At cape cod.
400
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:51,631
Love it in winter.
401
00:18:52,865 --> 00:18:56,969
I have a theory about
How cape cod was formed,
402
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:58,771
Geologically speaking.
403
00:18:58,771 --> 00:19:00,473
Excuse me.
404
00:19:03,176 --> 00:19:04,611
Well?
405
00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:09,882
Mayday,
Mayday, mayday...
406
00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:10,883
Sam.
407
00:19:10,883 --> 00:19:12,319
Oh!
You surprised me.
408
00:19:12,319 --> 00:19:15,322
I forgot what I
Was going to say.
409
00:19:15,322 --> 00:19:16,789
Oh. Well, I'm sorry.
410
00:19:16,789 --> 00:19:17,990
I'm just too excited.
411
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,592
You have things
To tell me.
412
00:19:19,592 --> 00:19:21,794
I have things
To tell you.
413
00:19:21,794 --> 00:19:22,929
Oh, tons.
414
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:28,335
So?
415
00:19:30,136 --> 00:19:32,472
One of the things
I've discovered
416
00:19:32,472 --> 00:19:34,607
Is that I'm
A very shy person.
417
00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:36,809
Do you mind
Going first?
418
00:19:36,809 --> 00:19:38,745
Oh. Well, of course not.
419
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:41,714
Great insight.
420
00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:42,749
Yeah. Thanks.
421
00:19:43,816 --> 00:19:45,352
All right then...
422
00:19:45,352 --> 00:19:48,321
This is the way
I describe our
Relationship--
423
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:50,957
It's more than "Like."
424
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:54,661
Beyond fondness.
425
00:19:57,029 --> 00:20:01,501
Verging
On deep affection.
426
00:20:01,501 --> 00:20:05,338
There's a vital
Physical component
427
00:20:05,338 --> 00:20:07,507
Bordering
On passionate.
428
00:20:09,576 --> 00:20:11,244
However...
429
00:20:11,244 --> 00:20:13,546
It has not
Reached the level
430
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:16,549
At which we will abandon
Our reservations
431
00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:20,219
About a complete
Commitment.
432
00:20:22,689 --> 00:20:25,392
Well, that's
How I see things.
433
00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:38,505
Ditto.
434
00:20:46,846 --> 00:20:49,181
Ditto?
435
00:20:49,181 --> 00:20:53,386
You're telling me
I waited a week
For "Ditto"?
436
00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:54,887
You took my answer.
437
00:20:57,924 --> 00:21:01,260
No, no. All right.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
438
00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:02,729
No more stalling.
No more stalling.
439
00:21:02,729 --> 00:21:05,432
I'll just--
I'll just tell you
Right here.
440
00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:12,305
I couldn't come up
With anything.
441
00:21:12,305 --> 00:21:15,308
I'm sorry. I really
Wanted to do this.
442
00:21:15,308 --> 00:21:16,743
I don't understand.
443
00:21:16,743 --> 00:21:19,312
I'm usually so good
Under pressure,
444
00:21:19,312 --> 00:21:22,449
But I...
I just drew a blank.
445
00:21:24,817 --> 00:21:26,319
Honey...
446
00:21:26,319 --> 00:21:29,756
I have no idea
Why we're together.
447
00:21:31,824 --> 00:21:33,326
Oh, sam.
448
00:21:33,326 --> 00:21:34,561
Oh, oh...
449
00:21:36,329 --> 00:21:37,764
Neither do I.
450
00:21:40,467 --> 00:21:41,634
You don't?
451
00:21:41,634 --> 00:21:43,336
I don't have a clue.
452
00:21:43,336 --> 00:21:45,171
Well, what about
What you just said?
453
00:21:45,171 --> 00:21:47,774
Oh, I read it in a book.
454
00:21:49,642 --> 00:21:53,346
It sounded nice,
But it's not us.
455
00:21:53,346 --> 00:21:54,647
Is it?
456
00:21:54,647 --> 00:21:57,650
I don't know.
I wasn't listening.
457
00:21:57,650 --> 00:21:59,686
Sam!
458
00:21:59,686 --> 00:22:01,187
Oh, please, please,
Whatever we do
Right now,
459
00:22:01,187 --> 00:22:03,255
Don't say,
"What are we doing?"
460
00:22:03,255 --> 00:22:08,361
What are we doing
That I can't say
"What are we doing?"
461
00:22:08,361 --> 00:22:09,796
Oh, oh, here we go,
Here we go.
462
00:22:09,796 --> 00:22:12,665
I was going to say that
It's totally hopeless,
463
00:22:12,665 --> 00:22:15,702
That I can't make
Any sense of our
Relationship at all.
464
00:22:15,702 --> 00:22:18,471
Why do we have
To make sense of it?
I think it's stupid!
465
00:22:18,471 --> 00:22:20,239
Whenever you think
Too much about something,
466
00:22:20,239 --> 00:22:22,108
It loses all its sense.
467
00:22:22,108 --> 00:22:25,077
I mean, obviously,
The only reason why
I'm with you because I lo--
468
00:22:28,147 --> 00:22:29,616
What, sam?
469
00:22:29,616 --> 00:22:32,485
I said the reason
Why I'm with you
470
00:22:32,485 --> 00:22:34,120
Is because I lo--
471
00:22:35,722 --> 00:22:36,889
You lo--?
472
00:22:36,889 --> 00:22:40,192
You know--
You know what I mean.
473
00:22:40,192 --> 00:22:42,228
Well, what's the matter?
Can't you say it?
474
00:22:42,228 --> 00:22:43,763
Of course I can.
475
00:22:43,763 --> 00:22:44,997
I lo--I lo--
476
00:22:47,266 --> 00:22:49,068
Oh, don't you see?
477
00:22:49,068 --> 00:22:52,572
That phrase that you
Threw around so casually
478
00:22:52,572 --> 00:22:55,575
Is now impossible
For you to say.
479
00:22:55,575 --> 00:22:58,077
And why can't you
Say it?
480
00:22:58,077 --> 00:23:02,281
Because with me,
It's no longer casual.
481
00:23:02,281 --> 00:23:04,283
I'm important to you.
482
00:23:04,283 --> 00:23:05,718
I matter.
483
00:23:07,587 --> 00:23:08,921
No. This is silly.
484
00:23:08,921 --> 00:23:10,557
I mean, I can say
Anything I want to say.
485
00:23:10,557 --> 00:23:12,324
Peter piper
Picked a peck
Of pickled peppers.
486
00:23:12,324 --> 00:23:13,793
A peck of pickled
Peppers that peter
Piper picked.
487
00:23:13,793 --> 00:23:14,894
See?
488
00:23:14,894 --> 00:23:16,663
Ok, now say
The other thing.
489
00:23:16,663 --> 00:23:19,298
All right,
I lo--I lo--I lo--
490
00:23:19,298 --> 00:23:20,700
Lo--
491
00:23:21,601 --> 00:23:22,635
Hey, everybody.
492
00:23:22,635 --> 00:23:25,137
Sam can't say
He loves me.
493
00:23:25,137 --> 00:23:26,072
Lo--
494
00:23:27,139 --> 00:23:29,742
Who can?
33831
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