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00:00:03,364 --> 00:00:04,708
Here's a little known fact:
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00:00:04,732 --> 00:00:06,144
Cheers is filmed before
a live studio audience.
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00:00:06,168 --> 00:00:09,419
Excuse me, I've got
to powder my nose
4
00:00:09,487 --> 00:00:11,888
in the men's salon.
5
00:00:24,953 --> 00:00:26,519
Hey.
6
00:00:26,587 --> 00:00:28,265
You know, you
look a little like, uh,
7
00:00:28,289 --> 00:00:29,488
Tip O'Neill.
8
00:00:29,557 --> 00:00:32,158
Yeah? You know, a
lot of people say that.
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00:00:32,227 --> 00:00:35,294
Really, I'm a better
looking fellow than he is.
10
00:00:35,363 --> 00:00:37,013
Oh, my God, you are Tip O'Neill.
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00:00:37,081 --> 00:00:38,147
How do you do?
12
00:00:38,216 --> 00:00:39,427
Whoa-oh!
13
00:00:39,451 --> 00:00:40,533
I'm Sam Malone.
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00:00:40,602 --> 00:00:42,396
You used to throw for the Sox.
15
00:00:42,420 --> 00:00:43,536
Yeah, that's right.
16
00:00:43,605 --> 00:00:45,182
What are you doing
here in Cheers?
17
00:00:45,206 --> 00:00:48,658
Well, I'm walking down the
street, a lady stopped me,
18
00:00:48,727 --> 00:00:51,661
started to tell me about
her philosophy of life,
19
00:00:51,730 --> 00:00:53,496
her philosophy of government,
20
00:00:53,565 --> 00:00:55,759
and so I ducked in and
thought I'd have a quick one.
21
00:00:55,783 --> 00:00:57,761
Well, what can I get you here?
22
00:00:57,785 --> 00:01:00,686
There you are. Ha-ha!
23
00:01:00,755 --> 00:01:04,624
Oh, Mr. Speaker, forgive
me for being so relentless,
24
00:01:04,693 --> 00:01:06,270
but I really want
to talk just to...
25
00:01:06,294 --> 00:01:08,306
Diane, step into the
office for a minute.
26
00:01:08,330 --> 00:01:09,629
What? I'll be right back.
27
00:01:09,698 --> 00:01:12,018
What is it, Sam? No, she won't.
28
00:01:13,234 --> 00:01:15,918
One more quick one,
Coach, then I really got to run.
29
00:01:15,987 --> 00:01:17,387
Hey, Norm,
30
00:01:17,456 --> 00:01:19,071
what were you saying last week
31
00:01:19,140 --> 00:01:21,875
about that do-nothing
Congress down there in D.C.?
32
00:01:21,943 --> 00:01:23,787
They're a bunch of clowns.
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00:01:23,811 --> 00:01:25,023
Oh, you think so,
huh? You could take
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00:01:25,047 --> 00:01:26,541
the average guy off the street
35
00:01:26,565 --> 00:01:27,497
and he could do a better job.
36
00:01:27,566 --> 00:01:28,097
Nah.
37
00:01:28,166 --> 00:01:29,226
Sure.
38
00:01:29,250 --> 00:01:31,028
This bozo right here
could probably be
39
00:01:31,052 --> 00:01:32,529
a better congressman than them.
40
00:01:32,553 --> 00:01:33,619
Oh, yeah?
41
00:01:33,688 --> 00:01:36,122
You know, I may run
for office someday.
42
00:01:36,191 --> 00:01:37,656
You do that.
43
00:01:41,513 --> 00:01:43,240
You're out of work, too, huh?
44
00:01:43,264 --> 00:01:46,782
No, I'm the Speaker of the
House of Representatives.
45
00:01:48,036 --> 00:01:49,635
Don't be ridiculous.
46
00:01:49,704 --> 00:01:51,949
That'd make you Tip O'Neill
47
00:01:51,973 --> 00:01:55,441
and me... a horse's butt.
48
00:01:55,510 --> 00:01:57,810
You said it, not me.
49
00:02:04,302 --> 00:02:06,569
♪ Making your way
in the world today ♪
50
00:02:06,638 --> 00:02:09,739
♪ Takes everything you've got ♪
51
00:02:09,807 --> 00:02:12,175
♪ Taking a break
from all your worries ♪
52
00:02:12,244 --> 00:02:15,345
♪ Sure would help a lot ♪
53
00:02:15,413 --> 00:02:19,766
♪ Wouldn't you
like to get away? ♪
54
00:02:22,053 --> 00:02:23,887
♪ Sometimes you want to go ♪
55
00:02:23,955 --> 00:02:28,691
♪ Where everybody
knows your name ♪
56
00:02:28,759 --> 00:02:33,629
♪ And they're always
glad you came ♪
57
00:02:33,698 --> 00:02:36,165
♪ You want to be
where you can see ♪
58
00:02:36,234 --> 00:02:38,634
♪ Our troubles
are all the same ♪
59
00:02:38,703 --> 00:02:44,107
♪ You want to be where
everybody knows your name ♪
60
00:02:44,175 --> 00:02:46,442
♪ You want to go
where people know ♪
61
00:02:46,511 --> 00:02:48,978
♪ People are all the same ♪
62
00:02:49,047 --> 00:02:53,782
♪ You want to go where
everybody knows your name. ♪
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00:02:53,851 --> 00:02:57,854
Captioning sponsored by
PARAMOUNT PICTURES
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00:03:14,405 --> 00:03:15,655
Afternoon, everybody.
65
00:03:15,723 --> 00:03:16,522
Norm!
66
00:03:16,591 --> 00:03:19,141
What can I do for you, Norm?
67
00:03:19,210 --> 00:03:21,694
Well, I am going to need
something to kill time
68
00:03:21,762 --> 00:03:22,962
before my second beer.
69
00:03:23,031 --> 00:03:24,364
Uh...
70
00:03:24,432 --> 00:03:25,676
how 'bout a first one?
71
00:03:25,700 --> 00:03:26,783
You got it.
72
00:03:26,852 --> 00:03:28,284
Glad you've come in today, Norm.
73
00:03:28,353 --> 00:03:29,353
Big day.
74
00:03:29,403 --> 00:03:30,547
Oh, yeah? What's going on?
75
00:03:30,571 --> 00:03:32,438
The Miss Boston
Barmaid's contest.
76
00:03:32,507 --> 00:03:33,907
They're picking
the finalists today.
77
00:03:33,941 --> 00:03:34,807
What is it?
78
00:03:34,876 --> 00:03:36,492
What is it? Paul...
79
00:03:36,561 --> 00:03:38,895
it's only the biggest
event of the year.
80
00:03:38,964 --> 00:03:41,430
I mean, words can't describe it.
81
00:03:41,499 --> 00:03:42,819
Uh... a bunch of waitresses
82
00:03:42,850 --> 00:03:44,345
serve drinks, and
one of them wins.
83
00:03:44,369 --> 00:03:46,986
Yeah, that's about it.
84
00:03:47,055 --> 00:03:50,539
Uh, Coach is
particularly excited today
85
00:03:50,609 --> 00:03:52,541
because this year, the
contest is being held
86
00:03:52,611 --> 00:03:54,811
right here at Cheers.
87
00:03:54,879 --> 00:03:56,362
All right!
88
00:03:56,430 --> 00:03:58,297
You know, I hate to
burst your bubble, Coach,
89
00:03:58,366 --> 00:03:59,443
but the contests are phony.
90
00:03:59,467 --> 00:04:00,416
You got to fool around
91
00:04:00,485 --> 00:04:01,901
with the judge to get in.
92
00:04:01,969 --> 00:04:03,903
Oh, that's disgusting.
93
00:04:03,971 --> 00:04:07,473
Yeah, and he won't
return my calls.
94
00:04:08,643 --> 00:04:10,388
Hey, everybody, I
want your attention.
95
00:04:10,412 --> 00:04:13,279
They picked the finalists for
the Miss Boston Barmaid contest
96
00:04:13,348 --> 00:04:16,349
and this year,
Cheers is going to win.
97
00:04:18,170 --> 00:04:19,930
Oh, finally, they're
letting in preggos.
98
00:04:19,954 --> 00:04:21,654
No, no, no, no.
99
00:04:21,723 --> 00:04:24,056
No, Carla, it's not
you, it's, uh, Diane.
100
00:04:24,125 --> 00:04:25,725
Sam, Diane's pregnant?
101
00:04:25,793 --> 00:04:27,327
No, no, no.
102
00:04:27,395 --> 00:04:29,929
She's a finalist, Coach.
103
00:04:29,998 --> 00:04:31,781
Oh, give me a copy.
104
00:04:31,850 --> 00:04:34,033
That proves it.
105
00:04:34,102 --> 00:04:36,702
There is no God.
106
00:04:36,771 --> 00:04:38,815
That little pixie. She
didn't say a word about it.
107
00:04:38,839 --> 00:04:40,918
Oh, no, no, she doesn't
know anything about it.
108
00:04:40,942 --> 00:04:42,452
I entered her
without telling her.
109
00:04:42,476 --> 00:04:43,509
Why, Sam?
110
00:04:43,578 --> 00:04:45,578
Just to cause me anguish?
111
00:04:45,646 --> 00:04:46,913
Oh, all right, all right.
112
00:04:46,981 --> 00:04:48,826
So she's not the best
waitress in the world,
113
00:04:48,850 --> 00:04:51,050
but she makes it in these
other categories here.
114
00:04:51,086 --> 00:04:53,752
"Perky, pert,
congenial and fun."
115
00:04:55,072 --> 00:04:56,405
And I don't?
116
00:04:57,576 --> 00:04:58,608
Sweetheart,
117
00:04:58,677 --> 00:05:00,426
you cannot join the contest.
118
00:05:00,494 --> 00:05:01,761
You're pregnant.
119
00:05:01,830 --> 00:05:05,364
So? Proves I'm congenial.
120
00:05:05,433 --> 00:05:06,832
Good point. Good point.
121
00:05:06,901 --> 00:05:09,146
Oh, hey, Sammy, here she comes.
122
00:05:09,170 --> 00:05:10,731
All right, I want
this to be a surprise.
123
00:05:10,755 --> 00:05:12,666
Uh, just, everybody, pretend
like you don't know anything.
124
00:05:12,690 --> 00:05:13,890
Coach, grab her apron,
125
00:05:13,958 --> 00:05:16,258
put it up here next to
the paper so she sees it.
126
00:05:17,862 --> 00:05:19,361
Hello, everyone.
127
00:05:19,430 --> 00:05:20,462
Hi.
128
00:05:22,901 --> 00:05:25,034
You all look chipper today.
129
00:05:25,103 --> 00:05:26,619
What's up?
130
00:05:28,173 --> 00:05:29,739
Oh, come on.
131
00:05:29,808 --> 00:05:31,007
I hate this.
132
00:05:31,076 --> 00:05:33,109
Tell me.
133
00:05:33,178 --> 00:05:35,098
Really it's, it's
nothing at all.
134
00:05:38,066 --> 00:05:39,531
Something in the paper, eh?
135
00:05:41,569 --> 00:05:45,137
"The Miss Boston
Barmaid competi..." Oh.
136
00:05:45,206 --> 00:05:49,041
I hate female contests
with every fiber of my being.
137
00:05:55,316 --> 00:05:57,016
Why did you want me to see this?
138
00:05:57,084 --> 00:05:58,364
Uh, just to make sure
139
00:05:58,419 --> 00:05:59,863
you felt the same way
about it that we did.
140
00:05:59,887 --> 00:06:01,365
Disgusting.
Absolutely disgusting.
141
00:06:03,141 --> 00:06:04,457
What kind of a ninny
142
00:06:04,526 --> 00:06:06,959
would let herself be
entered in a contest like that?
143
00:06:08,296 --> 00:06:10,146
This kind.
144
00:06:10,215 --> 00:06:11,146
That's me!
145
00:06:11,215 --> 00:06:13,683
Takes guts to admit it.
146
00:06:16,237 --> 00:06:17,754
Who did this?
147
00:06:17,822 --> 00:06:19,538
Who is responsible for this?
148
00:06:19,607 --> 00:06:20,723
I'll kill him.
149
00:06:24,129 --> 00:06:25,561
You did this.
150
00:06:25,630 --> 00:06:27,813
That's it. Uh, Wong Song Yoo.
151
00:06:27,882 --> 00:06:30,800
Uh... got killed in the Orient
152
00:06:30,868 --> 00:06:33,308
while trying to rescue nuns.
153
00:06:33,587 --> 00:06:35,238
That's him.
154
00:06:35,307 --> 00:06:36,756
You entered me,
155
00:06:36,825 --> 00:06:40,392
much as one would enter
a heifer in a county fair.
156
00:06:40,461 --> 00:06:43,896
Oh, no, no, come
on, Diane, honey, no.
157
00:06:43,964 --> 00:06:46,765
The judges, they just come
in, they secretly watch you work,
158
00:06:46,834 --> 00:06:48,412
and then they
pick the finalists.
159
00:06:48,436 --> 00:06:49,680
Yeah.
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00:06:49,704 --> 00:06:50,965
In a county fair,
161
00:06:50,989 --> 00:06:53,072
you take the cow to the judges.
162
00:06:56,144 --> 00:06:57,743
Thanks a lot, Coach.
163
00:06:57,812 --> 00:06:59,423
Anytime, Sam.
164
00:06:59,447 --> 00:07:00,691
Hey, come on, Diane.
165
00:07:00,715 --> 00:07:02,926
I thought you'd be
happy about this.
166
00:07:02,950 --> 00:07:04,950
Oh, of course, of course.
167
00:07:05,020 --> 00:07:08,721
I love being entered in
degrading female contests.
168
00:07:08,789 --> 00:07:11,457
Me, too, but I'm
always pregnant.
169
00:07:11,526 --> 00:07:14,193
No, come on, this
is not degrading.
170
00:07:14,262 --> 00:07:15,878
I mean, in Boston
this is considered
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00:07:15,947 --> 00:07:17,280
a very, very big honor, Diane.
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00:07:17,348 --> 00:07:18,348
Oh, yeah, yeah.
173
00:07:18,399 --> 00:07:19,582
Yeah, hey, Di, I mean,
174
00:07:19,651 --> 00:07:21,529
it's a really big,
you know, uh...
175
00:07:21,553 --> 00:07:24,620
It's not as big as Mail
Carrier of the Year, of course,
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00:07:24,689 --> 00:07:25,838
but it's up there.
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00:07:25,907 --> 00:07:27,573
Mail Carrier of the Year?
178
00:07:27,641 --> 00:07:31,293
Who would they give that
to, a postman or a pigeon?
179
00:07:31,362 --> 00:07:33,746
Hey, watch your mouth.
180
00:07:33,815 --> 00:07:35,092
It was just a joke.
181
00:07:35,116 --> 00:07:38,200
Yeah? Well don't
you ever, repeat, ever
182
00:07:38,269 --> 00:07:40,147
joke about the
U.S. Postal Service
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00:07:40,171 --> 00:07:42,132
in front of me or
any other mail carrier.
184
00:07:42,156 --> 00:07:43,300
All right?
185
00:07:43,324 --> 00:07:45,185
He didn't mean
anything at all by it.
186
00:07:45,209 --> 00:07:47,037
Yeah? I'd like to see
how fat and sassy
187
00:07:47,061 --> 00:07:48,805
he'd be without
his daily mail, huh?
188
00:07:48,829 --> 00:07:50,307
Easy, easy.
189
00:07:50,331 --> 00:07:52,265
I'm sorry, Norm.
190
00:07:52,333 --> 00:07:53,911
I just don't know
what came over me.
191
00:07:53,935 --> 00:07:55,734
That's okay. You
had every right.
192
00:07:55,803 --> 00:07:58,337
Yeah. Well, the post
office is everybody's target.
193
00:07:58,406 --> 00:08:00,650
You know? But when
they want a letter fast, huh,
194
00:08:00,674 --> 00:08:02,319
who do they come
to on their knees?
195
00:08:02,343 --> 00:08:03,776
Federal Express.
196
00:08:03,844 --> 00:08:04,884
He's mine!
197
00:08:07,548 --> 00:08:09,348
Cliff, sit down.
198
00:08:09,417 --> 00:08:12,050
Sam, these contests
perpetuate the attitude
199
00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:14,820
that women are mere objects
200
00:08:14,888 --> 00:08:16,722
to be judged and ranked
201
00:08:16,790 --> 00:08:19,458
in respect to how
well they serve man.
202
00:08:19,527 --> 00:08:21,705
Oh, come on,
lighten up, will you?
203
00:08:21,729 --> 00:08:22,973
Relax a little bit.
204
00:08:22,997 --> 00:08:25,209
I mean, this is not the UN here.
205
00:08:25,233 --> 00:08:27,800
Have some fun.
206
00:08:27,869 --> 00:08:30,803
Do you think being
scrutinized, poked and prodded
207
00:08:30,871 --> 00:08:32,805
like a side of beef is fun?
208
00:08:32,873 --> 00:08:36,175
Well, not every day, but
on your odd Saturday night...
209
00:08:36,244 --> 00:08:39,011
What do you think I am?
210
00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:40,813
Are you kidding me?
211
00:08:40,882 --> 00:08:42,325
I just thought you were cute.
212
00:08:42,349 --> 00:08:43,927
I mean, is that such a big deal?
213
00:08:43,951 --> 00:08:45,963
Cheers has never
won this before.
214
00:08:45,987 --> 00:08:47,898
I thought it might
be nice if we did.
215
00:08:47,922 --> 00:08:50,122
I thought it might be
nice if you won it for us.
216
00:08:50,191 --> 00:08:51,490
I mean, I didn't even think.
217
00:08:51,558 --> 00:08:53,859
I just picked up the
silly picture and sent it in.
218
00:08:53,928 --> 00:08:56,511
By the way, where
did you get that picture?
219
00:08:56,580 --> 00:08:58,981
I, uh, well, you know,
220
00:08:59,050 --> 00:09:00,650
I, uh, found it.
221
00:09:02,587 --> 00:09:04,003
Found it where?
222
00:09:04,071 --> 00:09:06,822
Well, as a matter of fact,
you were pretty careless.
223
00:09:06,891 --> 00:09:09,459
I found it lying
around your wallet.
224
00:09:11,095 --> 00:09:13,512
Don't you ever go
through my wallet again.
225
00:09:13,580 --> 00:09:15,592
Well, don't worry.
It was pretty boring.
226
00:09:15,616 --> 00:09:17,761
Oh, I'm sorry. If I'd known
you were going through it,
227
00:09:17,785 --> 00:09:19,263
I'd have added
something interesting.
228
00:09:19,287 --> 00:09:20,619
You know, I've never seen anyone
229
00:09:20,688 --> 00:09:22,532
with so many silly
pictures of themselves.
230
00:09:22,556 --> 00:09:25,024
You with your cat, you on
your pony, you by your car.
231
00:09:25,110 --> 00:09:27,459
You by your car with
your cat on your pony.
232
00:09:29,463 --> 00:09:31,174
I'm going to call
them at the contest,
233
00:09:31,198 --> 00:09:33,511
tell them exactly what I
think of this whole thing
234
00:09:33,535 --> 00:09:34,815
and that I won't do it.
235
00:09:34,869 --> 00:09:35,869
No, come on...
236
00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:37,286
Damn it.
237
00:09:42,276 --> 00:09:44,310
Hey, uh, Paul.
238
00:09:44,378 --> 00:09:47,547
Uh, no hard feelings, huh?
239
00:09:47,615 --> 00:09:49,798
No.
240
00:09:49,867 --> 00:09:51,428
Yeah, it's just that, you know,
241
00:09:51,452 --> 00:09:53,330
the Sears catalog
came out this week,
242
00:09:53,354 --> 00:09:55,754
and it puts kind
of a strain on me.
243
00:10:00,878 --> 00:10:03,161
Uh, yes, I would like to speak
244
00:10:03,230 --> 00:10:07,032
to the person in charge
of female dehumanization.
245
00:10:07,101 --> 00:10:10,102
What do you mean, "Speaking"?
246
00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:17,410
This is in regard to the Miss
Boston Barmaid competition.
247
00:10:17,478 --> 00:10:19,077
I am Diane Chambers,
248
00:10:19,146 --> 00:10:21,258
and I have something
to say about this contest
249
00:10:21,282 --> 00:10:23,682
and all contests like it.
250
00:10:23,751 --> 00:10:27,686
I only wish the whole world
could hear what I have to say.
251
00:10:27,755 --> 00:10:31,457
There will be reporters there?
252
00:10:31,526 --> 00:10:34,927
From all the major papers?
253
00:10:34,995 --> 00:10:38,096
Well, I guess if, um,
254
00:10:38,165 --> 00:10:41,033
if a contestant had
a few things to say,
255
00:10:41,101 --> 00:10:43,602
this would be an
excellent forum for 'em.
256
00:10:45,573 --> 00:10:49,308
Yes, yes, I am every
bit as cute as my picture.
257
00:10:49,376 --> 00:10:50,475
Yeah, thank you.
258
00:10:50,544 --> 00:10:53,112
I'll, um, I'll see
you at the contest.
259
00:10:55,082 --> 00:10:57,283
Hey, Diane, I just have
one thing to say to you
260
00:10:57,351 --> 00:10:58,618
and I mean this.
261
00:10:58,686 --> 00:11:01,287
You stay in this contest
or we're no longer friends.
262
00:11:01,355 --> 00:11:03,973
I'm staying in the contest.
263
00:11:04,042 --> 00:11:05,991
Wow. Really?
264
00:11:06,060 --> 00:11:08,360
Yes.
265
00:11:08,429 --> 00:11:10,362
Hey, Diane.
266
00:11:10,431 --> 00:11:13,165
You go to bed with me tonight
or we're no longer friends.
267
00:11:19,023 --> 00:11:22,858
Well, I guess you can, uh,
just push friendship so far.
268
00:11:36,724 --> 00:11:39,192
Norm, hold this for
me, will you, Norm?
269
00:11:39,260 --> 00:11:42,161
Ooh, what smells great, Coach?
270
00:11:42,230 --> 00:11:43,830
I just came from the barbershop.
271
00:11:43,899 --> 00:11:46,999
You know, they put some of
that zingy aftershave stuff. Whoo!
272
00:11:47,068 --> 00:11:50,736
Oh, that explains why all these
flies are dying here, Coach.
273
00:11:51,772 --> 00:11:53,706
Oh, oh, Diane.
274
00:11:53,774 --> 00:11:56,276
Listen, now, I've been to a
couple of these things before,
275
00:11:56,344 --> 00:11:57,844
so I know what
they're looking for.
276
00:11:57,913 --> 00:12:00,013
Basically, it's personality
and customer service
277
00:12:00,081 --> 00:12:01,214
and all that kind of thing.
278
00:12:01,283 --> 00:12:02,782
But... a nice
appearance can't hurt,
279
00:12:02,851 --> 00:12:04,483
you know what I mean?
280
00:12:04,552 --> 00:12:05,969
Sex?
281
00:12:06,037 --> 00:12:07,136
No. No, no, no, not sex.
282
00:12:07,205 --> 00:12:08,549
Just a nice
appearance, that's all.
283
00:12:08,573 --> 00:12:10,739
You know, for example,
like, if you lowered your blouse
284
00:12:10,808 --> 00:12:12,488
just a little bit off
your shoulders there.
285
00:12:12,544 --> 00:12:14,143
Absolutely not.
286
00:12:14,212 --> 00:12:15,627
Hey, come on.
287
00:12:15,696 --> 00:12:18,147
Come on, just to check it out.
288
00:12:18,216 --> 00:12:19,915
Come on.
289
00:12:24,405 --> 00:12:26,155
Yeah, that's very
nice, that very nice.
290
00:12:26,223 --> 00:12:28,791
Um, maybe, uh... mess your
hair up just a bit, you know?
291
00:12:28,860 --> 00:12:30,726
Oh...
292
00:12:32,897 --> 00:12:33,996
That's nice.
293
00:12:34,065 --> 00:12:35,948
Lean against the bar
here... That's good.
294
00:12:36,017 --> 00:12:38,418
Put your elbow
up here like that.
295
00:12:38,486 --> 00:12:40,036
Wet your lips a little, pout.
296
00:12:44,192 --> 00:12:45,858
That's good.
297
00:12:45,927 --> 00:12:49,089
I thought you said the
judges weren't looking for sex.
298
00:12:49,113 --> 00:12:50,913
They're not... I am.
299
00:12:52,934 --> 00:12:54,684
I just checked out
the old competition.
300
00:12:54,752 --> 00:12:56,151
They look even better up close.
301
00:12:56,220 --> 00:12:57,837
Eh...
302
00:12:57,906 --> 00:13:00,234
None of those girls have got
what I'm looking for, Normy.
303
00:13:00,258 --> 00:13:01,857
What's that?
304
00:13:01,926 --> 00:13:04,026
Low standards.
305
00:13:06,698 --> 00:13:07,947
Come clean.
306
00:13:08,016 --> 00:13:10,616
One minute you're
against the stupid contest,
307
00:13:10,685 --> 00:13:12,785
the next minute,
you're all for it.
308
00:13:12,854 --> 00:13:14,087
What's up?
309
00:13:15,406 --> 00:13:17,874
You don't like this
contest, do you, Carla?
310
00:13:17,942 --> 00:13:19,992
It's a sham.
311
00:13:20,061 --> 00:13:22,395
Carla... you will
be happy to hear
312
00:13:22,464 --> 00:13:26,065
that I am going to bring
this contest to its knees.
313
00:13:26,134 --> 00:13:29,152
Ooh, I like it so far.
314
00:13:30,188 --> 00:13:32,021
When they introduce me,
315
00:13:32,090 --> 00:13:34,456
I'm going to make a statement
316
00:13:34,525 --> 00:13:38,210
denouncing those
responsible for this outrage.
317
00:13:38,279 --> 00:13:39,495
Oh!
318
00:13:39,564 --> 00:13:41,731
Oh, I love it! I love it!
319
00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:43,666
You know,
320
00:13:43,735 --> 00:13:46,119
there aren't too many
things about you that I like.
321
00:13:46,187 --> 00:13:48,454
In fact, there is nothing
about you that I like.
322
00:13:48,522 --> 00:13:49,906
But I always say,
323
00:13:49,974 --> 00:13:52,441
"All great friendships
324
00:13:52,511 --> 00:13:56,846
start with one small
act of vengeance."
325
00:14:01,635 --> 00:14:03,847
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen,
326
00:14:03,871 --> 00:14:05,504
and welcome to the 45th annual
327
00:14:05,573 --> 00:14:09,008
Miss Boston Barmaid competition.
328
00:14:09,077 --> 00:14:10,643
First, each contestant
329
00:14:10,712 --> 00:14:13,613
will tell us a little
bit about herself.
330
00:14:13,681 --> 00:14:14,961
Yvonne?
331
00:14:18,153 --> 00:14:19,968
Hi. I'm Yvonne.
332
00:14:20,037 --> 00:14:23,639
I go to modeling school,
and I'd like to be an artist.
333
00:14:31,666 --> 00:14:34,567
Hi, I'm Jocelyn, and I
like being a waitress.
334
00:14:34,636 --> 00:14:37,153
I'm saving my money
to travel around the world
335
00:14:37,222 --> 00:14:39,288
next summer.
336
00:14:43,060 --> 00:14:44,660
Hi, I'm Bonnie.
337
00:14:44,729 --> 00:14:48,163
And I have to say, I really
like being just what I am...
338
00:14:48,233 --> 00:14:51,400
a cocktail waitress in
the best city in the world.
339
00:14:52,570 --> 00:14:55,071
Oh, Boston.
340
00:14:58,910 --> 00:15:00,710
Go!
341
00:15:05,233 --> 00:15:07,015
Um...
342
00:15:08,386 --> 00:15:10,219
My name is Diane Chambers,
343
00:15:10,288 --> 00:15:12,020
and I would like one day
344
00:15:12,089 --> 00:15:15,090
to be known as the
voice of my generation.
345
00:15:18,763 --> 00:15:20,891
You see, I am a humanist.
346
00:15:20,915 --> 00:15:22,175
And aren't we all?
347
00:15:22,199 --> 00:15:24,144
Good luck, uh, and if you win
348
00:15:24,168 --> 00:15:26,564
we'll be seeing
you on A.M. Boston.
349
00:15:26,588 --> 00:15:28,270
Just let...
350
00:15:28,339 --> 00:15:29,472
A.M. Boston?
351
00:15:29,540 --> 00:15:30,685
That's right.
352
00:15:30,709 --> 00:15:32,053
They're going to be here later
353
00:15:32,077 --> 00:15:33,454
to tape the announcement
of the winner
354
00:15:33,478 --> 00:15:34,955
for tomorrow morning's program.
355
00:15:34,979 --> 00:15:36,812
Let the games begin.
356
00:15:38,749 --> 00:15:41,050
Diane Chambers, humanist.
357
00:15:41,119 --> 00:15:43,130
And now Yvonne
will wait on the judges
358
00:15:43,154 --> 00:15:45,532
who will ask her a set
of prepared questions
359
00:15:45,556 --> 00:15:47,956
designed to help us
get to know her better.
360
00:15:51,730 --> 00:15:52,829
Hello there.
361
00:15:52,897 --> 00:15:55,064
I'm Yvonne, and
I'll be serving you.
362
00:15:55,133 --> 00:15:57,933
What's your pleasure
this evening, gentlemen?
363
00:15:58,002 --> 00:15:59,813
Uh, could you
recommend something
364
00:15:59,837 --> 00:16:02,705
warm and sweet and
perfect for late in the evening?
365
00:16:02,773 --> 00:16:04,923
Irish coffee...
366
00:16:04,992 --> 00:16:06,859
or me.
367
00:16:24,362 --> 00:16:26,446
One for you.
368
00:16:26,531 --> 00:16:29,966
And one gin and tonic.
369
00:16:35,290 --> 00:16:38,223
I am moved, Cliff.
I'm visibly moved.
370
00:16:38,293 --> 00:16:40,270
That'll be tough to beat.
371
00:16:40,294 --> 00:16:42,094
Now for our last contestant,
372
00:16:42,163 --> 00:16:45,781
someone right from here at
Cheers, Miss Diane Chambers.
373
00:16:45,850 --> 00:16:47,561
Yo!
374
00:16:50,388 --> 00:16:51,820
Hello.
375
00:16:51,890 --> 00:16:54,357
I'm Diane, and I'm delighted
to be your waitress this evening.
376
00:16:54,425 --> 00:16:55,558
What can I get you?
377
00:16:55,626 --> 00:16:57,243
Screwdriver, please.
378
00:16:57,312 --> 00:16:58,260
What kind of vodka?
379
00:16:58,329 --> 00:16:59,478
Absolut, please.
380
00:16:59,547 --> 00:17:01,046
Absolut-ly.
381
00:17:01,116 --> 00:17:02,781
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
382
00:17:04,051 --> 00:17:04,984
Chivas rocks.
383
00:17:05,052 --> 00:17:06,252
Chivas rocks.
384
00:17:06,321 --> 00:17:07,420
And for you, sir?
385
00:17:07,489 --> 00:17:08,648
I'll have a beer.
386
00:17:08,672 --> 00:17:09,872
Imported or domestic?
387
00:17:09,941 --> 00:17:11,168
What would you recommend?
388
00:17:11,192 --> 00:17:12,986
Well, I'll find
something nice for you.
389
00:17:13,010 --> 00:17:14,143
Be back in a jiff.
390
00:17:14,212 --> 00:17:15,461
With pretzels.
391
00:17:17,048 --> 00:17:19,493
You're doing terrific, Diane.
392
00:17:19,517 --> 00:17:21,283
Wait, wait, wait. You
dropped some cards.
393
00:17:21,352 --> 00:17:22,585
Here, you dropped some cards.
394
00:17:22,654 --> 00:17:23,568
Oh, no, no, never mind.
395
00:17:23,637 --> 00:17:24,637
Uh...
396
00:17:24,705 --> 00:17:25,771
Uh, what is this?
397
00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:27,206
"Women pitted against each other
398
00:17:27,275 --> 00:17:28,774
in a public display
of servitude."
399
00:17:28,843 --> 00:17:30,009
I don't know what it means,
400
00:17:30,077 --> 00:17:31,744
but it's making me hot.
401
00:17:34,015 --> 00:17:35,759
I'll take my speech, thank you.
402
00:17:35,783 --> 00:17:37,616
Wait, w-w-w-whoa. What
do you mean, "speech"?
403
00:17:37,685 --> 00:17:38,801
What are you talking about?
404
00:17:38,869 --> 00:17:40,614
Sam, I'm going
to win this contest
405
00:17:40,638 --> 00:17:42,954
so I can make a
speech denouncing it.
406
00:17:43,023 --> 00:17:47,643
Oh, my God, is that what you've
been planning the whole time?
407
00:17:47,712 --> 00:17:49,912
Sam, I have to do this.
408
00:17:49,981 --> 00:17:51,880
I-I don't believe I
could be so stupid.
409
00:17:51,949 --> 00:17:53,516
For a minute
there, I thought you
410
00:17:53,585 --> 00:17:56,185
were actually going to be
a regular person for once.
411
00:17:56,254 --> 00:17:58,554
I am not a regular person.
412
00:17:58,623 --> 00:18:00,223
You're telling me?
413
00:18:00,291 --> 00:18:01,469
Sam...
414
00:18:01,493 --> 00:18:03,425
Someday you will realize
415
00:18:03,494 --> 00:18:06,014
that I am doing the right thing.
416
00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:08,247
Well, why do you always
have to do the right thing?
417
00:18:08,316 --> 00:18:10,349
I mean, do you see the
rest of us running around
418
00:18:10,418 --> 00:18:12,218
trying to do the right
thing? We're happy.
419
00:18:12,286 --> 00:18:13,418
May I go now?
420
00:18:13,487 --> 00:18:15,921
Yeah, go on, help yourself.
421
00:18:15,990 --> 00:18:17,935
By the way, by the
way, I just want to say
422
00:18:17,959 --> 00:18:19,569
that, uh... I'm
really happy to see
423
00:18:19,593 --> 00:18:21,205
that under all this
public pressure,
424
00:18:21,229 --> 00:18:24,080
we haven't seen
that facial tic of yours.
425
00:18:24,149 --> 00:18:25,848
And you won't.
426
00:18:25,917 --> 00:18:28,367
Mind over matter.
427
00:18:30,021 --> 00:18:31,620
Um... St. Pauli Girl.
428
00:18:33,624 --> 00:18:34,857
An Absolut
429
00:18:34,925 --> 00:18:36,375
screwdriver.
430
00:18:36,444 --> 00:18:38,944
Chivas rocks, and pretzels.
431
00:18:40,531 --> 00:18:43,382
Is there, uh, anything
else that I can do for you?
432
00:18:43,451 --> 00:18:45,717
Is there something wrong, miss?
433
00:18:45,786 --> 00:18:47,470
What do you mean?
434
00:18:47,539 --> 00:18:48,871
Uh, are you all right?
435
00:18:48,940 --> 00:18:51,490
Oh, um, uh...
436
00:18:53,627 --> 00:18:57,313
Well, I have this,
um, this, uh, facial tic.
437
00:18:57,382 --> 00:18:59,799
Um...
438
00:19:01,919 --> 00:19:04,387
But I, I, um, I believe
that-that all of us
439
00:19:04,455 --> 00:19:06,422
have obstacles
to overcome in life,
440
00:19:06,491 --> 00:19:08,290
and, uh, in the final analysis,
441
00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:10,426
the... the true
measure of greatness
442
00:19:10,495 --> 00:19:11,894
is the severity
443
00:19:11,962 --> 00:19:14,864
of obstacles one
has had to overcome
444
00:19:14,932 --> 00:19:17,483
in order to achieve one's goals.
445
00:19:17,552 --> 00:19:21,253
I, um...
446
00:19:21,322 --> 00:19:23,756
I may not be the most
attractive waitress here,
447
00:19:23,825 --> 00:19:25,835
I may not be the most talented,
448
00:19:25,859 --> 00:19:27,125
but I am
449
00:19:27,194 --> 00:19:28,127
a survivor.
450
00:19:28,195 --> 00:19:30,363
I didn't come here to lose.
451
00:19:30,431 --> 00:19:31,830
I came here to win.
452
00:19:31,899 --> 00:19:33,365
I will beat them all.
453
00:19:33,434 --> 00:19:35,901
I will beat any who
come against me,
454
00:19:35,970 --> 00:19:39,939
and as God is my witness,
I will never be hungry again!
455
00:19:50,685 --> 00:19:52,396
Ladies and gentlemen,
456
00:19:52,420 --> 00:19:55,354
this year's Miss Boston Barmaid
457
00:19:55,422 --> 00:19:57,088
is Diane Chambers!
458
00:20:03,865 --> 00:20:05,831
Congratulations, Diane.
459
00:20:05,899 --> 00:20:06,999
Thank you.
460
00:20:07,067 --> 00:20:08,800
Is that A.M. Boston?
461
00:20:08,869 --> 00:20:10,097
Yes, it is.
462
00:20:11,405 --> 00:20:14,373
I-I really didn't expect
to win this contest.
463
00:20:14,441 --> 00:20:15,891
It has...
464
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:17,200
Thank you. It has been quite...
465
00:20:17,244 --> 00:20:18,377
And...
466
00:20:18,445 --> 00:20:19,712
It has been quite...
467
00:20:21,716 --> 00:20:24,133
It has been quite an experience.
468
00:20:24,201 --> 00:20:26,035
Now, I would like to tell you
469
00:20:26,104 --> 00:20:27,419
my feelings about this contest.
470
00:20:27,488 --> 00:20:28,798
But before you do that, Diane,
471
00:20:28,822 --> 00:20:30,200
let me tell you what you've won.
472
00:20:30,224 --> 00:20:31,957
That's really not
necessary. If there...
473
00:20:32,026 --> 00:20:34,238
Something every
waitress needs...
474
00:20:34,262 --> 00:20:38,397
A six months' worth of free
dry-cleaning at Ritz Cleaners!
475
00:20:38,466 --> 00:20:39,731
Thank you. Thank you.
476
00:20:42,069 --> 00:20:44,703
Contests such as
these can do nothing...
477
00:20:44,772 --> 00:20:49,007
And for entertaining at home, a
Kitchen Helper food processor.
478
00:20:49,076 --> 00:20:50,309
Oh.
479
00:20:51,895 --> 00:20:55,631
Thank you, that's nice, I've
always wanted one. Thank you.
480
00:20:55,700 --> 00:20:58,868
But really, ladies and
gentlemen, it's so important...
481
00:20:58,936 --> 00:21:02,204
A $200 gift certificate from
Filene's Department Store
482
00:21:02,273 --> 00:21:04,593
where you can pick
out some new outfits
483
00:21:04,642 --> 00:21:06,308
for that week-long vacation
484
00:21:06,377 --> 00:21:10,479
you and a friend will
be taking to Bermuda!
485
00:21:10,547 --> 00:21:12,982
Bermuda! Bermuda!
486
00:21:15,069 --> 00:21:17,135
Oh, I love it!
487
00:21:34,939 --> 00:21:39,942
I sold out womankind
for a... trip to Bermuda.
488
00:21:41,129 --> 00:21:42,939
Aw, hey, come on,
don't feel so bad.
489
00:21:42,963 --> 00:21:45,681
Most people would have
done it for the dry-cleaning.
490
00:21:47,935 --> 00:21:50,202
Hey, come on.
491
00:21:50,271 --> 00:21:53,605
Look, I don't even
think you did sell out.
492
00:21:57,161 --> 00:21:58,110
Of course I did.
493
00:21:58,178 --> 00:21:59,445
No, you didn't.
494
00:21:59,513 --> 00:22:01,258
What you did was,
you let your feelings out.
495
00:22:01,282 --> 00:22:02,959
I mean, for the
first time in your life
496
00:22:02,983 --> 00:22:04,394
you were... you
were spontaneous.
497
00:22:04,418 --> 00:22:05,550
It was great.
498
00:22:05,619 --> 00:22:07,464
That's not the
first time in my life
499
00:22:07,488 --> 00:22:09,221
I've done something spontaneous.
500
00:22:09,289 --> 00:22:10,873
May I have my purse, please?
501
00:22:12,493 --> 00:22:15,644
I enjoy being spontaneous
502
00:22:15,712 --> 00:22:17,513
every now and then.
503
00:22:17,581 --> 00:22:19,714
Whenever I think
it's appropriate.
504
00:22:21,051 --> 00:22:23,068
Hey, you're a maniac.
505
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:27,439
Okay.
506
00:22:30,043 --> 00:22:33,979
Maybe I do tend to be
a little uptight at times.
507
00:22:34,047 --> 00:22:36,782
Maybe this bar is changing me.
508
00:22:36,851 --> 00:22:39,885
Maybe the atmosphere here
is starting to rub off a little.
509
00:22:39,954 --> 00:22:41,337
Maybe.
510
00:22:43,741 --> 00:22:48,426
And maybe in some small
way I'm the better for it.
511
00:22:48,495 --> 00:22:51,447
Maybe you are.
512
00:22:51,516 --> 00:22:54,500
Maybe I should thank you.
513
00:22:54,568 --> 00:22:56,869
Maybe you should.
514
00:22:58,405 --> 00:22:59,605
Like how?
515
00:23:01,692 --> 00:23:03,459
Oh, forget it! Forget it.
516
00:23:04,812 --> 00:23:06,044
Hey, hey, come on. Wait.
517
00:23:06,113 --> 00:23:07,991
You really want to
make it up to me?
518
00:23:08,015 --> 00:23:09,782
Let's go to Bermuda.
519
00:23:09,851 --> 00:23:11,684
You got two tickets.
520
00:23:13,070 --> 00:23:15,020
Don't be coy.
521
00:23:15,088 --> 00:23:16,208
Oh, all right, all right.
522
00:23:16,257 --> 00:23:17,667
I know what
you're talking about.
523
00:23:17,691 --> 00:23:19,851
I know I've been making
a lot of passes at you,
524
00:23:19,893 --> 00:23:21,571
but I swear, you
take me to Bermuda,
525
00:23:21,595 --> 00:23:23,876
I'll be the perfect gentleman.
526
00:23:25,132 --> 00:23:26,264
You will?
527
00:23:26,333 --> 00:23:27,866
Cross my heart.
528
00:23:27,934 --> 00:23:30,035
Then forget it.
36744
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