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1
00:00:06,726 --> 00:00:08,959
Yes, I'll... I'll tell him.
2
00:00:13,415 --> 00:00:15,482
Oh, Sam, I just
had a conversation
3
00:00:15,517 --> 00:00:17,818
with your date tonight...
4
00:00:17,853 --> 00:00:19,152
Bambi.
5
00:00:20,789 --> 00:00:22,489
She said she can't make it.
6
00:00:22,525 --> 00:00:23,924
She's had an accident.
7
00:00:23,959 --> 00:00:24,841
You're kidding.
8
00:00:24,876 --> 00:00:25,876
What happened?
9
00:00:26,862 --> 00:00:29,062
She fell off her shoes.
10
00:00:35,921 --> 00:00:38,488
Gee, that's tough, that's tough.
11
00:00:38,524 --> 00:00:41,558
That leaves me only two
hours to find another date.
12
00:00:41,593 --> 00:00:44,061
Those are the breaks.
13
00:00:44,096 --> 00:00:46,096
Not to worry, not to worry.
14
00:00:47,300 --> 00:00:48,365
The book!
15
00:00:48,401 --> 00:00:51,947
Cliff, I swear, it just
gave off a beam of light.
16
00:00:51,971 --> 00:00:53,203
A little black book?
17
00:00:53,238 --> 00:00:54,549
Yeah.
18
00:00:54,573 --> 00:00:57,791
Didn't those go out with getting
a girl drunk and seducing her?
19
00:00:57,827 --> 00:00:59,342
That's out now?
20
00:01:01,330 --> 00:01:03,250
Let me see, let
me see, let me see.
21
00:01:04,066 --> 00:01:06,333
Hey, "Christy Lavoroni."
22
00:01:06,369 --> 00:01:09,002
Christy Lavoroni, come on down!
23
00:01:09,037 --> 00:01:10,204
Come on, Sam,
24
00:01:10,239 --> 00:01:12,267
let me dial this one, huh?
25
00:01:12,291 --> 00:01:13,456
It's been a long time
26
00:01:13,492 --> 00:01:16,137
since I've run my
fingers over a girl's digits.
27
00:01:16,161 --> 00:01:18,012
Norman!
28
00:01:18,047 --> 00:01:21,031
You know, I haven't seen
Christy since, uh, Woodstock.
29
00:01:21,066 --> 00:01:22,349
You were at Woodstock?
30
00:01:22,385 --> 00:01:24,295
A friend of mine told
me to go down there.
31
00:01:24,319 --> 00:01:25,468
Said it was a great place
32
00:01:25,504 --> 00:01:26,647
to pick up chicks.
33
00:01:26,671 --> 00:01:29,272
I should have known you
weren't there for the music.
34
00:01:29,308 --> 00:01:31,208
There was music at Woodstock?
35
00:01:32,577 --> 00:01:34,361
Sammy, it's ringing.
36
00:01:34,397 --> 00:01:37,330
Hello, uh... is Christy there?
37
00:01:38,901 --> 00:01:40,667
She entered a convent?
38
00:01:43,072 --> 00:01:46,306
Oh, boys, it looks like
your idol has fallen.
39
00:01:46,341 --> 00:01:48,625
So what's the number over there?
40
00:01:59,388 --> 00:02:02,021
♪ Making your way
in the world today ♪
41
00:02:02,057 --> 00:02:05,125
♪ Takes everything you've got ♪
42
00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:07,827
♪ Taking a break
from all your worries ♪
43
00:02:07,863 --> 00:02:11,265
♪ Sure would help a lot ♪
44
00:02:11,300 --> 00:02:14,167
♪ Wouldn't you
like to get away? ♪
45
00:02:17,139 --> 00:02:19,006
♪ Sometimes you want to go ♪
46
00:02:19,041 --> 00:02:24,544
♪ Where everybody
knows your name ♪
47
00:02:24,580 --> 00:02:29,149
♪ And they're always
glad you came ♪
48
00:02:29,184 --> 00:02:31,668
♪ You want to be
where you can see ♪
49
00:02:31,703 --> 00:02:34,204
♪ Our troubles
are all the same ♪
50
00:02:34,239 --> 00:02:39,476
♪ You want to be where
everybody knows your name ♪
51
00:02:39,511 --> 00:02:42,079
♪ You want to go
where people know ♪
52
00:02:42,114 --> 00:02:44,614
♪ People are all the same ♪
53
00:02:44,649 --> 00:02:48,585
♪ You want to go where
everybody knows your name. ♪
54
00:02:48,620 --> 00:02:52,622
Captioning sponsored by
PARAMOUNT PICTURES
55
00:03:08,574 --> 00:03:09,556
Hi, Coach.
56
00:03:09,591 --> 00:03:10,807
Oh, hi, Diane.
57
00:03:10,842 --> 00:03:11,975
Hey, Coach.
58
00:03:12,010 --> 00:03:12,976
Hi, Sam.
59
00:03:13,011 --> 00:03:13,827
Sam.
60
00:03:13,863 --> 00:03:14,811
Sam. SAM: Yeah.
61
00:03:14,846 --> 00:03:15,812
Look at me.
62
00:03:15,847 --> 00:03:17,008
I look okay to you?
63
00:03:17,032 --> 00:03:18,165
Yeah, why?
64
00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:20,979
Well, I just went down to
renew my driver's license, right?
65
00:03:21,003 --> 00:03:22,663
They asked me to
donate my kidneys.
66
00:03:22,687 --> 00:03:24,805
Oh, no, no.
67
00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:26,506
Don't take that personal, Coach.
68
00:03:26,541 --> 00:03:27,574
They ask everybody.
69
00:03:27,609 --> 00:03:29,209
Those highway robbers.
70
00:03:29,244 --> 00:03:31,444
It used to be a lousy two bucks.
71
00:03:32,431 --> 00:03:33,596
Carla's late again.
72
00:03:33,632 --> 00:03:34,598
Yeah, I know.
73
00:03:34,633 --> 00:03:35,648
I wonder why.
74
00:03:35,684 --> 00:03:36,650
Sam!
75
00:03:36,686 --> 00:03:39,987
You know why.
76
00:03:40,022 --> 00:03:43,157
Why aren't any of us saying
anything about Carla's problem?
77
00:03:43,192 --> 00:03:45,270
Listen, Diane, I don't
think we should be the ones
78
00:03:45,294 --> 00:03:46,259
to bring this up.
79
00:03:46,295 --> 00:03:47,695
Look, you know
Carla, she's proud.
80
00:03:47,730 --> 00:03:50,164
Maybe she, uh, just wants
to keep this one under her hat,
81
00:03:50,199 --> 00:03:51,439
that's all.
82
00:03:56,738 --> 00:03:59,258
Maybe it's not even
what we think it is.
83
00:04:00,910 --> 00:04:03,310
Coach, what else could it be?
84
00:04:03,345 --> 00:04:04,394
Gas?
85
00:04:07,216 --> 00:04:08,348
Hi, everyone!
86
00:04:13,455 --> 00:04:14,988
I got to go, uh, change.
87
00:04:15,024 --> 00:04:16,024
Okay.
88
00:04:20,229 --> 00:04:22,162
What are we all so afraid of?
89
00:04:22,198 --> 00:04:25,682
We've known for well
over a month that Carla's...
90
00:04:25,717 --> 00:04:27,950
Let me be the
first to say it aloud.
91
00:04:27,986 --> 00:04:29,152
Carla is pregnant.
92
00:04:29,187 --> 00:04:31,427
That's it, Sam, it's out.
93
00:04:32,340 --> 00:04:33,957
Oh, Sam.
94
00:04:33,992 --> 00:04:36,092
She is all alone in the world.
95
00:04:36,128 --> 00:04:37,794
She needs some support.
96
00:04:37,829 --> 00:04:41,732
She's probably waiting
for us to reach out.
97
00:04:41,767 --> 00:04:43,567
You people call
yourself friends.
98
00:04:43,602 --> 00:04:45,402
Well, why don't you talk to her?
99
00:04:45,437 --> 00:04:47,321
Well, I would...
100
00:04:47,356 --> 00:04:52,259
but Carla's never actually
called me a friend...
101
00:04:52,294 --> 00:04:55,478
unless "doofus" is a
term of endearment.
102
00:04:57,683 --> 00:04:58,899
No, no, no.
103
00:04:58,934 --> 00:04:59,934
Don't look at me.
104
00:04:59,968 --> 00:05:01,635
Vera and I don't have any kids.
105
00:05:01,670 --> 00:05:03,837
I don't know anything
about the subject.
106
00:05:03,872 --> 00:05:06,167
Yeah, Norm, how come you
and Vera never had any kids?
107
00:05:06,191 --> 00:05:08,091
I can't, Coach.
108
00:05:08,126 --> 00:05:09,543
Gee, I'm sorry, Norm.
109
00:05:09,578 --> 00:05:10,594
I look at Vera...
110
00:05:10,629 --> 00:05:11,629
I just can't.
111
00:05:18,854 --> 00:05:20,086
So how's it going, guys?
112
00:05:23,225 --> 00:05:24,391
Ah, this is...
113
00:05:26,178 --> 00:05:28,445
Look, Carla...
114
00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:30,414
we just want you to know that...
115
00:05:30,449 --> 00:05:32,849
well, if there's
anything you ever need,
116
00:05:32,884 --> 00:05:34,484
just... just ask us, okay?
117
00:05:34,519 --> 00:05:37,487
Well, since you
brought it up, Sam.
118
00:05:37,523 --> 00:05:39,489
Yeah, yeah, what?
119
00:05:39,525 --> 00:05:43,659
I'm going to need a couple
of hours off at the end of April.
120
00:05:43,695 --> 00:05:45,940
All right, okay, you don't
want to talk about it, you don't...
121
00:05:45,964 --> 00:05:47,147
Nah, nah, nah, it's okay.
122
00:05:47,182 --> 00:05:48,893
I told the father
about it yesterday.
123
00:05:48,917 --> 00:05:49,995
He's been out of town.
124
00:05:50,019 --> 00:05:52,013
You know, I just
wanted to tell him first.
125
00:05:52,037 --> 00:05:53,548
Well, come... tell
the rest of them.
126
00:05:53,572 --> 00:05:55,083
I mean, they're dying
to hear, come on.
127
00:05:55,107 --> 00:05:56,518
Yeah, yeah, I'll
go talk to them.
128
00:05:56,542 --> 00:05:57,542
All right.
129
00:05:59,811 --> 00:06:00,843
What was I saying?
130
00:06:00,879 --> 00:06:02,645
The weather... the
weather is really...
131
00:06:02,681 --> 00:06:04,159
it's always just... Beautiful.
132
00:06:04,183 --> 00:06:05,415
Just sort of... oh, beautiful.
133
00:06:06,552 --> 00:06:07,750
Everyone.
134
00:06:09,921 --> 00:06:10,520
I'm pregnant.
135
00:06:10,556 --> 00:06:11,271
Huh?
136
00:06:11,307 --> 00:06:12,350
What? What?!
137
00:06:14,243 --> 00:06:15,303
Who knew?
138
00:06:15,327 --> 00:06:16,893
You're pregnant?
139
00:06:16,928 --> 00:06:18,495
Oh, Carla.
140
00:06:18,530 --> 00:06:20,208
Well, why didn't
you say anything?
141
00:06:20,232 --> 00:06:22,098
Well, you know, I've
got a lot on my mind.
142
00:06:22,134 --> 00:06:23,367
I can't remember everything.
143
00:06:23,402 --> 00:06:26,202
Oh, sure, busy gal.
144
00:06:26,238 --> 00:06:27,904
Yeah, well,
congratulations, huh?
145
00:06:27,939 --> 00:06:29,706
Unless you don't
want another kid.
146
00:06:29,742 --> 00:06:32,208
Of course she
wanted the kid, Norm.
147
00:06:32,244 --> 00:06:33,443
Sure I do.
148
00:06:33,479 --> 00:06:36,280
What penniless, unmarried
mother of four wouldn't?
149
00:06:36,315 --> 00:06:37,992
See what I mean?
150
00:06:38,016 --> 00:06:39,544
Look, Carla, don't
worry about that.
151
00:06:39,568 --> 00:06:41,712
I'm going to give you a
little bump up in pay there.
152
00:06:41,736 --> 00:06:42,469
Hey, thanks, Sam.
153
00:06:42,504 --> 00:06:43,504
That's great.
154
00:06:44,339 --> 00:06:45,339
Huh.
155
00:06:45,374 --> 00:06:47,673
Great... Carla gets a
raise for getting pregnant.
156
00:06:47,709 --> 00:06:50,576
I wonder what I have to do
to get a raise out of the boss?
157
00:06:50,612 --> 00:06:54,081
You could get a
raise out of the boss.
158
00:06:54,116 --> 00:06:55,965
So, uh, who's the father?
159
00:06:56,001 --> 00:06:57,267
We want to know.
160
00:06:57,302 --> 00:06:59,347
Well, you're about
to see for yourselves.
161
00:06:59,371 --> 00:07:00,371
He's coming in.
162
00:07:01,373 --> 00:07:04,341
I really got lucky
this time, boy.
163
00:07:04,376 --> 00:07:06,909
He's a nice, responsible guy,
164
00:07:06,945 --> 00:07:08,923
and he is going
to support this kid.
165
00:07:08,947 --> 00:07:10,180
Ah, that's great.
166
00:07:10,215 --> 00:07:12,081
You going to get married?
167
00:07:12,117 --> 00:07:15,252
Well, you know, actually
we probably would, Sam,
168
00:07:15,287 --> 00:07:18,522
except it goes against
my most cherished belief...
169
00:07:18,557 --> 00:07:21,525
Men are toe jam.
170
00:07:22,894 --> 00:07:24,144
Who is this guy?
171
00:07:26,582 --> 00:07:28,662
Hey, Marshall.
172
00:07:31,719 --> 00:07:32,886
Marshall?
173
00:07:32,921 --> 00:07:36,689
Carla made love to
a Ph.D. from M.I.T.?
174
00:07:36,725 --> 00:07:38,725
Hey, look, you guys,
if you can't say it
175
00:07:38,761 --> 00:07:40,593
in front of me,
don't say it at all.
176
00:07:41,997 --> 00:07:43,630
No, Coach...
177
00:07:43,665 --> 00:07:47,500
Coach, Marshall is the
father of Carla's child.
178
00:07:47,535 --> 00:07:48,501
Oh.
179
00:07:48,536 --> 00:07:49,502
Marshall?
180
00:07:49,537 --> 00:07:50,503
Yeah.
181
00:07:50,538 --> 00:07:52,405
I don't believe it, and
I believe everything.
182
00:07:54,009 --> 00:07:56,026
So, h-how are you
feeling, little mommy?
183
00:07:56,061 --> 00:07:57,372
I'll make a deal with you.
184
00:07:57,396 --> 00:07:59,224
You don't call me "little mommy"
185
00:07:59,248 --> 00:08:01,748
and I don't put your
tongue in the blender.
186
00:08:03,786 --> 00:08:05,930
Hey, Marshall, come on
down and sit down here.
187
00:08:05,954 --> 00:08:07,064
Yeah, come on, Marshall.
188
00:08:07,088 --> 00:08:08,054
Way to go all right.
189
00:08:08,089 --> 00:08:09,401
I'm so happy for you both.
190
00:08:09,425 --> 00:08:12,470
Congratulations, Marshall.
191
00:08:12,494 --> 00:08:13,627
Congratulations, Dad.
192
00:08:13,662 --> 00:08:14,739
Yeah.
193
00:08:14,763 --> 00:08:17,798
Why don't you have a
seat, little... uh, Carla.
194
00:08:17,833 --> 00:08:18,932
Thank you.
195
00:08:18,967 --> 00:08:21,045
Look, I think we have
something to celebrate here.
196
00:08:21,069 --> 00:08:22,035
A little champagne.
197
00:08:22,070 --> 00:08:23,019
Yeah, a toast!
198
00:08:23,055 --> 00:08:24,487
Serve it up, boys.
199
00:08:24,522 --> 00:08:25,888
I'll get the glasses.
200
00:08:25,924 --> 00:08:27,040
Here you go.
201
00:08:27,075 --> 00:08:29,593
Hey, by the way, I recommend
the Lamaze method.
202
00:08:29,628 --> 00:08:31,962
I've read about that
and it sounds wonderful.
203
00:08:31,997 --> 00:08:32,963
Oh, no, forget it.
204
00:08:32,998 --> 00:08:34,230
I got my own method.
205
00:08:34,265 --> 00:08:36,967
Knock me out and wake
me when it's potty-trained.
206
00:08:41,990 --> 00:08:43,001
All right, l-lets...
207
00:08:43,025 --> 00:08:44,635
somebody make a
toast or something.
208
00:08:44,659 --> 00:08:45,970
Diane, make the toast.
209
00:08:45,994 --> 00:08:47,060
Oh, all right.
210
00:08:47,095 --> 00:08:48,662
Um, to the baby.
211
00:08:48,697 --> 00:08:51,364
With Marshall as the father,
212
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:53,900
it's sure to have brains.
213
00:08:53,935 --> 00:08:56,803
With Carla as the
mother, it's sure to have...
214
00:08:56,838 --> 00:08:57,838
need for them.
215
00:08:57,872 --> 00:08:59,712
Oh, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
216
00:09:00,725 --> 00:09:02,075
What I mean is,
217
00:09:02,110 --> 00:09:03,392
to the baby and its luck
218
00:09:03,428 --> 00:09:05,261
at having such
wonderful parents.
219
00:09:05,296 --> 00:09:06,296
Here, here.
220
00:09:07,332 --> 00:09:08,297
Whoa.
221
00:09:08,333 --> 00:09:09,583
What, what?
222
00:09:09,618 --> 00:09:11,534
Hey, you know, I think
I'd better just lie down
223
00:09:11,569 --> 00:09:12,535
for a minute, all right?
224
00:09:12,570 --> 00:09:13,536
Sure.
225
00:09:13,571 --> 00:09:14,871
Would you all excuse me?
226
00:09:14,906 --> 00:09:16,039
I'll be right back.
227
00:09:17,342 --> 00:09:20,271
Gee, Marshall, I didn't even
know you and Carla were dating.
228
00:09:20,295 --> 00:09:24,297
Actually, Coach, we
just dated the one time.
229
00:09:24,332 --> 00:09:25,398
One time?
230
00:09:25,433 --> 00:09:26,950
Mm-hmm.
231
00:09:28,670 --> 00:09:30,237
Just once?
232
00:09:30,272 --> 00:09:31,349
Uh-huh.
233
00:09:31,373 --> 00:09:32,839
It's a funny thing, too,
234
00:09:32,874 --> 00:09:36,443
because Carla wouldn't give
me a second look before that...
235
00:09:36,478 --> 00:09:38,078
or since.
236
00:09:40,282 --> 00:09:43,010
But she sure was ready,
willing and able that night.
237
00:09:43,034 --> 00:09:44,879
She was a woman possessed.
238
00:09:44,903 --> 00:09:47,270
So the whole thing was her idea?
239
00:09:47,306 --> 00:09:50,073
Yes, I... I think
you could say that.
240
00:09:50,108 --> 00:09:52,342
Not that I didn't enjoy myself,
241
00:09:52,377 --> 00:09:56,045
but I... I had no idea
this would be the result.
242
00:09:56,080 --> 00:10:00,416
I was so surprised when
she told me about it yesterday.
243
00:10:00,451 --> 00:10:03,386
Uh, would you
excuse me, Marshall?
244
00:10:03,421 --> 00:10:05,989
I think I need to talk to Carla.
245
00:10:14,098 --> 00:10:15,598
You clever girl, you.
246
00:10:15,634 --> 00:10:16,599
What?
247
00:10:16,635 --> 00:10:18,134
I know what you're up to...
248
00:10:18,170 --> 00:10:20,503
you sly boots.
249
00:10:20,539 --> 00:10:23,339
Got to hand it to
you... Pretty smart.
250
00:10:23,375 --> 00:10:24,903
I don't know what
you're talking about.
251
00:10:24,927 --> 00:10:25,875
Yes, you do.
252
00:10:25,910 --> 00:10:27,977
Marshall's not the
father of that child.
253
00:10:29,681 --> 00:10:30,713
Maybe he is
254
00:10:30,749 --> 00:10:34,233
and maybe he isn't.
255
00:10:35,537 --> 00:10:37,236
Come on, Carla.
256
00:10:37,272 --> 00:10:39,138
You can tell me.
257
00:10:39,174 --> 00:10:40,340
I'm proud of you.
258
00:10:40,375 --> 00:10:42,208
This shows real initiative.
259
00:10:43,578 --> 00:10:47,413
Well, since you
already guessed...
260
00:10:47,448 --> 00:10:49,526
You're right, he's
not the father.
261
00:10:49,550 --> 00:10:51,162
I lied so he'd support it.
262
00:10:53,404 --> 00:10:55,905
What a great, great plan.
263
00:10:55,941 --> 00:10:58,374
Yeah, well, I hate to
sing my own praises.
264
00:10:58,409 --> 00:11:00,610
Oh, well, don't sing
your own praises.
265
00:11:00,645 --> 00:11:02,712
Why don't you hum a
few bars of this tune?
266
00:11:09,255 --> 00:11:10,949
Carla, how could you?
267
00:11:10,973 --> 00:11:13,640
Why don't you sit down
and let me talk for a change?
268
00:11:13,675 --> 00:11:14,675
Fine.
269
00:11:19,047 --> 00:11:23,282
I had had a really rotten day.
270
00:11:23,318 --> 00:11:25,351
I got stiffed twice.
271
00:11:25,387 --> 00:11:27,487
Sam bawled me out for something.
272
00:11:27,523 --> 00:11:29,088
You were here.
273
00:11:29,124 --> 00:11:31,858
I got soaked on the way home.
274
00:11:31,894 --> 00:11:35,072
By the time I got the
kids locked in their rooms,
275
00:11:35,096 --> 00:11:36,730
I had really had it.
276
00:11:38,967 --> 00:11:41,935
So I sat down at
the kitchen table,
277
00:11:41,970 --> 00:11:44,354
a bottle of Chianti.
278
00:11:44,390 --> 00:11:48,325
And I just started
thinking about how rotten
279
00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:50,026
my whole life was.
280
00:11:51,362 --> 00:11:53,146
Then I saw
281
00:11:53,182 --> 00:11:58,284
his face through the
fog in the door window.
282
00:11:59,421 --> 00:12:00,737
Who?
283
00:12:00,773 --> 00:12:02,939
Nick, my ex-husband.
284
00:12:05,577 --> 00:12:09,129
Besides everything else,
it was our anniversary.
285
00:12:09,164 --> 00:12:10,747
I see.
286
00:12:10,782 --> 00:12:11,748
But I was so down,
287
00:12:11,784 --> 00:12:13,494
I figured we could
just talk for awhile,
288
00:12:13,518 --> 00:12:14,528
you know?
289
00:12:14,552 --> 00:12:16,536
So we were drinking
290
00:12:16,572 --> 00:12:21,340
and remembering the
couple of good times we had.
291
00:12:21,376 --> 00:12:23,443
It was the first
laugh I had all day.
292
00:12:23,478 --> 00:12:26,229
He was wearing
293
00:12:26,264 --> 00:12:32,703
his black, fishnet T-shirt.
294
00:12:33,922 --> 00:12:39,426
I could see his panther
tattoo through the little holes.
295
00:12:39,461 --> 00:12:43,413
No woman could resist.
296
00:12:45,284 --> 00:12:47,295
With the rain and everything,
297
00:12:47,319 --> 00:12:48,319
and the wine...
298
00:12:48,354 --> 00:12:51,621
I just got carried away.
299
00:12:51,656 --> 00:12:52,733
Carla, this is the man
300
00:12:52,757 --> 00:12:56,443
you once referred
to as "seepage."
301
00:12:58,197 --> 00:13:01,465
Sure, Nick's disgusting...
302
00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:04,801
but he knows this
spot on your earlobe.
303
00:13:04,836 --> 00:13:09,289
One nibble and you are
a heaving mound of flesh.
304
00:13:10,608 --> 00:13:12,709
I find that very
hard to believe.
305
00:13:12,744 --> 00:13:13,727
Oh, yeah?
306
00:13:13,762 --> 00:13:14,728
Yeah.
307
00:13:14,763 --> 00:13:16,062
Well, let me just show you.
308
00:13:16,097 --> 00:13:18,076
Oh, Carla, don't be ridiculous.
309
00:13:18,100 --> 00:13:19,310
Carla...
310
00:13:19,334 --> 00:13:20,384
Oh...
311
00:13:20,419 --> 00:13:21,901
Oh...
312
00:13:21,937 --> 00:13:23,986
Uh...
313
00:13:24,022 --> 00:13:25,989
Uh, Cliff.
314
00:13:26,024 --> 00:13:27,769
Um, no, this isn't
what you think it is.
315
00:13:27,793 --> 00:13:28,825
No, no, that's okay.
316
00:13:28,860 --> 00:13:31,595
I'm an '80s kind of a guy, uh...
317
00:13:31,630 --> 00:13:33,575
seen all of the right
movies and everything.
318
00:13:33,599 --> 00:13:34,564
Yes, yes.
319
00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:35,693
Well, um, no.
320
00:13:35,717 --> 00:13:37,601
Cliff, you see, Carla and I
321
00:13:37,636 --> 00:13:41,438
were testing a fascinating,
scientific hypothesis.
322
00:13:41,473 --> 00:13:42,722
Scientific.
323
00:13:42,757 --> 00:13:45,341
Oh, uh, I-I like science.
324
00:13:45,377 --> 00:13:46,392
Um...
325
00:13:46,428 --> 00:13:47,761
Step right this way.
326
00:13:47,796 --> 00:13:48,762
Carla, show him.
327
00:13:48,797 --> 00:13:49,957
Jeez.
328
00:13:53,618 --> 00:13:55,218
Unbelievable, huh?
329
00:13:55,254 --> 00:13:56,697
I didn't feel
anything there, uh...
330
00:13:56,721 --> 00:13:57,687
Well, you know,
331
00:13:57,722 --> 00:13:59,633
sometimes there's
a delayed reaction.
332
00:13:59,657 --> 00:14:00,690
Oh, oh, okay.
333
00:14:00,725 --> 00:14:02,570
Maybe if the both
of you jumped on...
334
00:14:02,594 --> 00:14:04,355
Take a walk, Clavin.
335
00:14:04,379 --> 00:14:05,344
Hey.
336
00:14:05,380 --> 00:14:06,345
Oh, hey, uh, listen.
337
00:14:06,381 --> 00:14:08,081
If you need a trois
for that ménage, uh...
338
00:14:08,116 --> 00:14:09,649
I'll be in the bar.
339
00:14:15,090 --> 00:14:19,026
All right, let me see if I
have the decadence straight.
340
00:14:19,061 --> 00:14:22,095
When you discovered
you were pregnant,
341
00:14:22,131 --> 00:14:24,531
you purposely seduced Marshall
342
00:14:24,566 --> 00:14:27,534
because you assumed
that your husband
343
00:14:27,569 --> 00:14:31,271
would not assume
responsibility for the child.
344
00:14:31,306 --> 00:14:33,206
Exactly.
345
00:14:33,241 --> 00:14:35,341
Depraved.
346
00:14:35,377 --> 00:14:38,111
Now, look here, Whitie.
347
00:14:38,147 --> 00:14:39,980
You know, you can talk,
348
00:14:40,015 --> 00:14:40,981
but I got four kids,
349
00:14:41,016 --> 00:14:42,560
and I've been
raising them alone,
350
00:14:42,584 --> 00:14:44,462
and it's been damned hard.
351
00:14:44,486 --> 00:14:46,820
I can't take it anymore.
352
00:14:46,855 --> 00:14:48,566
Somebody is going to help me
353
00:14:48,590 --> 00:14:50,691
ease my load a
little bit this time,
354
00:14:50,726 --> 00:14:51,692
and I don't care
355
00:14:51,727 --> 00:14:53,187
what I have to do to get it.
356
00:14:53,211 --> 00:14:56,679
Carla... it's wrong.
357
00:14:56,714 --> 00:14:58,748
I don't care.
358
00:14:58,784 --> 00:15:00,962
And I don't care what you think.
359
00:15:00,986 --> 00:15:02,886
Hey, what'd you guys
do to Cliff back here?
360
00:15:02,921 --> 00:15:03,931
Why, what's the matter?
361
00:15:03,955 --> 00:15:06,189
We just had to pull him
off the wooden Indian.
362
00:15:11,430 --> 00:15:13,563
Cliff.
363
00:15:13,599 --> 00:15:14,563
Is...
364
00:15:14,599 --> 00:15:15,565
Yeah, Cliff.
365
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:17,211
Sip beer, sip, Cliff.
366
00:15:17,235 --> 00:15:18,701
Carla?
367
00:15:18,736 --> 00:15:20,047
Do you know the story
368
00:15:20,071 --> 00:15:21,715
of the "Tell-Tale Heart?"
369
00:15:21,739 --> 00:15:22,839
Take a leap, Whitie.
370
00:15:22,874 --> 00:15:24,485
I'm going to tell it to you.
371
00:15:24,509 --> 00:15:27,076
A young man killed an old man.
372
00:15:27,111 --> 00:15:28,922
While carrying out the crime,
373
00:15:28,946 --> 00:15:33,183
he could hear his victim's
heart beating in fright.
374
00:15:33,218 --> 00:15:37,637
"Ba-boom, ba-boom,
ba-boom, ba-boom."
375
00:15:37,672 --> 00:15:38,849
He was very glad
376
00:15:38,873 --> 00:15:42,542
when the man was dead
and the awful sound stopped.
377
00:15:42,577 --> 00:15:44,455
Then he dismembered his victim
378
00:15:44,479 --> 00:15:46,646
and buried him
under the floorboards.
379
00:15:46,681 --> 00:15:49,315
Soon, he could hear a sound
380
00:15:49,351 --> 00:15:51,818
coming up from the floor.
381
00:15:51,854 --> 00:15:53,120
"Ba-boom, ba-boom,
382
00:15:53,155 --> 00:15:54,504
ba-boom, ba-boom."
383
00:15:54,539 --> 00:15:55,771
Till he couldn't
384
00:15:55,807 --> 00:15:56,973
stand it anymore.
385
00:15:57,008 --> 00:15:58,686
Surely everyone heard it.
386
00:15:58,710 --> 00:16:01,723
Eventually, guilt drove
him totally insane.
387
00:16:01,747 --> 00:16:04,091
You can never escape
your conscience.
388
00:16:04,115 --> 00:16:06,716
Ba-boom, ba-boom, ba-boom...
389
00:16:06,752 --> 00:16:08,485
Okay, okay!
390
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:09,936
Tom, I've been cheating on you.
391
00:16:09,972 --> 00:16:13,940
You are a wonderful man
and I don't deserve you.
392
00:16:13,976 --> 00:16:15,191
I'm sorry.
393
00:16:15,227 --> 00:16:18,027
Wait, darling!
394
00:16:23,835 --> 00:16:24,801
Ba-boom, Carla.
395
00:16:24,836 --> 00:16:25,847
Ba-boom, ba-boom.
396
00:16:25,871 --> 00:16:27,003
Oh...
397
00:16:27,038 --> 00:16:28,571
Is this having
any affect on you?
398
00:16:28,607 --> 00:16:30,106
None at all.
399
00:16:30,141 --> 00:16:33,810
Maybe you need bigger ba-booms.
400
00:16:36,381 --> 00:16:37,925
Ba-boom, ba-boom.
401
00:16:37,949 --> 00:16:40,083
Diane, would you
just leave me alone?
402
00:16:40,118 --> 00:16:41,418
Carla, don't get upset.
403
00:16:41,453 --> 00:16:43,053
Sit down with me.
404
00:16:44,022 --> 00:16:46,056
Thanks.
405
00:16:46,091 --> 00:16:47,768
So, uh, how's it going, Dad?
406
00:16:47,792 --> 00:16:48,758
Great, I...
407
00:16:48,793 --> 00:16:53,996
I think I'm... approaching
a state of euphoria.
408
00:16:54,032 --> 00:16:56,599
Coach, could I
have a beer, please?
409
00:16:56,634 --> 00:16:58,801
Absolutely, Marshall.
410
00:16:58,836 --> 00:17:00,837
Ba-boom, ba-boom.
411
00:17:02,774 --> 00:17:04,207
Carla, what a...
412
00:17:04,242 --> 00:17:08,044
what do you think we
should name the child?
413
00:17:08,079 --> 00:17:10,012
We got time for names, Marshall.
414
00:17:10,048 --> 00:17:12,715
You know the biggest
argument I ever had with my wife
415
00:17:12,750 --> 00:17:14,567
was over naming our daughter.
416
00:17:14,602 --> 00:17:17,436
Now, she kept insisting,
insisting on Lisa,
417
00:17:17,472 --> 00:17:19,534
and I wanted to stick
with the original name.
418
00:17:19,558 --> 00:17:20,523
What was that, Coach?
419
00:17:20,559 --> 00:17:23,142
"Baby girl Pantusso."
420
00:17:25,414 --> 00:17:27,247
Ba-boom.
421
00:17:29,318 --> 00:17:32,252
You know, Carla,
I been thinking.
422
00:17:32,287 --> 00:17:35,021
Tomorrow I'm going
to go to my lawyer
423
00:17:35,056 --> 00:17:37,190
and have a new will drawn up
424
00:17:37,226 --> 00:17:41,894
and all of your children will
be named as my beneficiaries.
425
00:17:43,432 --> 00:17:45,732
Oh.
426
00:17:45,767 --> 00:17:47,634
Gee, Marshall.
427
00:17:47,669 --> 00:17:51,170
I never expected that.
428
00:17:51,206 --> 00:17:53,017
That's about the sweetest thing
429
00:17:53,041 --> 00:17:54,407
anybody's ever done...
430
00:17:54,443 --> 00:17:56,588
Diane, would you just cut it out
431
00:17:56,612 --> 00:17:58,422
with the stupid "ba-booms"!
432
00:17:58,446 --> 00:18:01,063
Carla, Diane's in the back room.
433
00:18:04,652 --> 00:18:06,852
Come on, we got to talk.
434
00:18:08,773 --> 00:18:10,451
You win, I'm going
to tell him the truth.
435
00:18:10,475 --> 00:18:14,777
Will somebody please tell
me what's going on here?
436
00:18:14,813 --> 00:18:16,190
She's going to
tell him the truth.
437
00:18:16,214 --> 00:18:18,280
The truth about what?
438
00:18:19,951 --> 00:18:21,662
Oh, Sam, it's terrible.
439
00:18:21,686 --> 00:18:23,486
She lied.
440
00:18:23,521 --> 00:18:26,089
The real father
is her ex-husband.
441
00:18:27,725 --> 00:18:28,924
I don't believe this.
442
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:30,193
I mean, I know the guy.
443
00:18:30,228 --> 00:18:33,530
Her ex-husband is an
insensitive, macho, pig
444
00:18:33,565 --> 00:18:34,997
with one thing on his mind.
445
00:18:36,117 --> 00:18:37,895
Some women are
attracted to that.
446
00:18:37,919 --> 00:18:38,919
Ah, name one.
447
00:18:40,689 --> 00:18:41,654
Hey, hey...
448
00:18:41,690 --> 00:18:44,808
"Arline Abrams...
449
00:18:44,843 --> 00:18:48,110
Angela Adams..."
450
00:18:48,146 --> 00:18:49,146
I'm going home.
451
00:18:49,180 --> 00:18:50,146
No, no listen.
452
00:18:50,181 --> 00:18:52,181
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
453
00:18:52,217 --> 00:18:54,057
I'm going to talk to you first.
454
00:18:55,670 --> 00:18:57,453
Sit down. Sit down.
455
00:18:57,489 --> 00:18:58,454
Now look...
456
00:18:58,489 --> 00:19:00,289
Diane told me what's going on
457
00:19:00,324 --> 00:19:02,386
and I just have
to say something.
458
00:19:02,410 --> 00:19:06,646
Marshall, you and
Carla have a chance
459
00:19:06,681 --> 00:19:08,248
for some great happiness here,
460
00:19:08,283 --> 00:19:09,977
and I just don't think
you should throw it away.
461
00:19:10,001 --> 00:19:11,401
Sam, you know, you don't...
462
00:19:11,436 --> 00:19:12,418
Come on, come on.
463
00:19:12,454 --> 00:19:14,420
Let me say this,
let me say this.
464
00:19:14,456 --> 00:19:16,356
Look at me, Marshall.
465
00:19:16,391 --> 00:19:17,506
Look at you?
466
00:19:17,542 --> 00:19:18,608
Yeah.
467
00:19:18,643 --> 00:19:20,443
Now...
468
00:19:20,478 --> 00:19:24,413
a lot of people think
that I've got a great life,
469
00:19:24,449 --> 00:19:28,685
but you have a... you can
have something that I don't have.
470
00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:30,536
You... you can have the love
471
00:19:30,571 --> 00:19:32,199
and the warmth of a family.
472
00:19:32,223 --> 00:19:34,858
You know, if you
don't marry Carla,
473
00:19:34,893 --> 00:19:36,659
some lucky guy's going to.
474
00:19:36,694 --> 00:19:39,762
As a matter of fact, if you
don't marry Carla, I'm going to.
475
00:19:43,735 --> 00:19:45,668
I'm not going to marry her.
476
00:19:59,050 --> 00:20:00,683
I got the veil in my locker.
477
00:20:00,719 --> 00:20:03,236
Y-You understand that what...
478
00:20:04,222 --> 00:20:05,989
Get out of here.
479
00:20:06,024 --> 00:20:08,074
You're all toe jam.
480
00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:25,074
You know...
481
00:20:25,110 --> 00:20:27,159
I just feel terrible about this.
482
00:20:27,195 --> 00:20:29,979
Well, I guess she really did
want some help with this child.
483
00:20:30,014 --> 00:20:31,942
Yeah, she's barely getting by
484
00:20:31,966 --> 00:20:33,499
just the way it is.
485
00:20:33,535 --> 00:20:36,069
Carla's probably
never felt lonelier
486
00:20:36,104 --> 00:20:39,539
than she does at this moment.
487
00:20:39,574 --> 00:20:42,625
Got any more of those little
yellow, uh, goldfish crackers?
488
00:20:42,660 --> 00:20:45,978
We don't have any crackers
that look like goldfish.
489
00:20:47,049 --> 00:20:49,098
What'd I just eat?
490
00:20:50,468 --> 00:20:51,901
You know, I wish I had the money
491
00:20:51,936 --> 00:20:53,803
so I could take care
of the kid myself.
492
00:20:53,838 --> 00:20:55,988
Me too, Sam.
493
00:20:56,024 --> 00:20:58,491
Wait, I've got a wonderful idea.
494
00:20:58,527 --> 00:21:00,238
We are always
taking up collections
495
00:21:00,262 --> 00:21:01,472
for little league teams
496
00:21:01,496 --> 00:21:03,007
and to give gifts to orphans.
497
00:21:03,031 --> 00:21:04,942
We are now going
to take up a collection
498
00:21:04,966 --> 00:21:05,932
to help Carla.
499
00:21:05,967 --> 00:21:08,863
I think Cheers
should adopt this child.
500
00:21:08,887 --> 00:21:11,120
You know, that's not
such a stupid idea.
501
00:21:11,155 --> 00:21:12,121
I mean, we could...
502
00:21:12,157 --> 00:21:13,122
we could all take turns
503
00:21:13,158 --> 00:21:14,434
doing things
with the kid, right?
504
00:21:14,458 --> 00:21:15,424
Right, right.
505
00:21:15,459 --> 00:21:16,770
I mean, I could teach
him how to pitch.
506
00:21:16,794 --> 00:21:17,760
Yeah, yeah... I could teach him
507
00:21:17,796 --> 00:21:19,139
how to hit your pitches
out of the ballpark.
508
00:21:19,163 --> 00:21:20,129
There you go.
509
00:21:20,164 --> 00:21:22,331
I'll do the kid's taxes.
510
00:21:23,485 --> 00:21:24,451
Coach.
511
00:21:24,486 --> 00:21:25,452
Come here. What?
512
00:21:25,487 --> 00:21:27,253
Listen, everybody, everybody!
513
00:21:27,288 --> 00:21:28,455
This is for Carla's kid.
514
00:21:28,490 --> 00:21:29,589
It's going to be our kid.
515
00:21:29,624 --> 00:21:30,668
Oh, yeah, I can teach it
516
00:21:30,692 --> 00:21:32,002
how to slide into second base.
517
00:21:32,026 --> 00:21:32,992
Oh, you can't, Coach.
518
00:21:33,027 --> 00:21:33,993
Remember, your back.
519
00:21:34,028 --> 00:21:34,977
Oh, thanks.
520
00:21:35,013 --> 00:21:37,029
Well, I can teach
him how to swim.
521
00:21:37,065 --> 00:21:38,943
Uh, you're afraid
of the water, Coach.
522
00:21:38,967 --> 00:21:40,200
Well, I can teach him
523
00:21:40,235 --> 00:21:41,834
how to tie a Windsor knot.
524
00:21:41,869 --> 00:21:43,631
Why do you think you
wear these clip-ons?
525
00:21:43,655 --> 00:21:45,221
Well, I can just sit there.
526
00:21:48,610 --> 00:21:50,076
I'm going home.
527
00:21:50,111 --> 00:21:52,144
Carla, before you do...
528
00:21:52,180 --> 00:21:54,563
we want you to
take this from us.
529
00:21:54,599 --> 00:21:56,983
It's, uh, to help
out with the kid.
530
00:21:57,018 --> 00:22:00,436
We'd kind of like
it to be our kid, too.
531
00:22:15,786 --> 00:22:19,121
♪ When you walk
through a storm ♪
532
00:22:19,156 --> 00:22:23,559
♪ Hold your head up high ♪
533
00:22:23,595 --> 00:22:27,597
♪ And don't be
afraid of the dark. ♪
534
00:22:27,632 --> 00:22:29,465
Everybody, come on.
535
00:22:29,500 --> 00:22:37,500
♪ At the end of a
storm is a golden light ♪
536
00:22:37,842 --> 00:22:45,097
♪ And the sweet,
silver song of a lark ♪
537
00:22:45,132 --> 00:22:48,934
♪ Walk on through the wind ♪
538
00:22:48,970 --> 00:22:52,988
♪ Walk on through the rain ♪
539
00:22:53,023 --> 00:23:01,023
♪ Though your dreams
be tossed and blown ♪
540
00:23:01,766 --> 00:23:06,435
♪ Walk on, walk on ♪
541
00:23:06,470 --> 00:23:10,572
♪ With hope in your heart ♪
542
00:23:10,608 --> 00:23:18,608
♪ And you'll never walk alone ♪
543
00:23:20,569 --> 00:23:28,569
You'll never walk alone. ♪
544
00:23:35,417 --> 00:23:39,067
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
36582
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