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1
00:00:12,667 --> 00:00:13,966
Excuse me. Yes, sir?
2
00:00:14,035 --> 00:00:16,135
Can you check upstairs
3
00:00:16,204 --> 00:00:18,855
and see if the table's
ready for the Phillips party?
4
00:00:18,924 --> 00:00:21,140
Sure, I'd be glad to.
5
00:01:03,384 --> 00:01:05,618
Uh, what was the name again?
6
00:01:07,021 --> 00:01:08,954
Phillips.
7
00:01:09,023 --> 00:01:11,190
Phillips.
8
00:01:30,512 --> 00:01:33,112
♪ Making your way
in the world today ♪
9
00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:36,215
♪ Takes everything you've got ♪
10
00:01:36,284 --> 00:01:38,918
♪ Taking a break
from all your worries ♪
11
00:01:38,986 --> 00:01:42,354
♪ Sure would help a lot ♪
12
00:01:42,424 --> 00:01:45,291
♪ Wouldn't you
like to get away? ♪
13
00:01:47,779 --> 00:01:50,646
♪ Sometimes you want to go ♪
14
00:01:50,715 --> 00:01:56,185
♪ Where everybody
knows your name ♪
15
00:01:56,253 --> 00:02:00,490
♪ And they're always
glad you came ♪
16
00:02:00,558 --> 00:02:03,025
♪ You want to be
where you can see ♪
17
00:02:03,094 --> 00:02:05,561
♪ Our troubles
are all the same ♪
18
00:02:05,630 --> 00:02:10,833
♪ You want to be where
everybody knows your name ♪
19
00:02:10,902 --> 00:02:13,435
♪ You want to go
where people know ♪
20
00:02:13,505 --> 00:02:15,972
♪ People are all the same ♪
21
00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:19,942
♪ You want to go where
everybody knows your name. ♪
22
00:02:20,011 --> 00:02:24,013
Captioning sponsored by
PARAMOUNT PICTURES
23
00:02:40,198 --> 00:02:43,282
Hey, lock up your daughters.
24
00:02:46,220 --> 00:02:51,274
The Fighting Double
Deuce is on the loose.
25
00:02:51,342 --> 00:02:53,292
Can I help you?
26
00:02:53,361 --> 00:02:54,481
Well, you should help me.
27
00:02:54,545 --> 00:02:55,477
I sure helped you.
28
00:02:55,546 --> 00:02:56,645
Why, I was fighting
29
00:02:56,697 --> 00:02:58,647
the Kaiser when your
daddy was in diapers.
30
00:02:58,716 --> 00:03:00,649
Where's the rest of my outfit?
31
00:03:00,718 --> 00:03:03,068
What you got on
looks silly enough.
32
00:03:04,688 --> 00:03:07,423
I'm talking about the other
boys from the 22nd Brigade.
33
00:03:07,491 --> 00:03:09,425
I'm meeting them here.
34
00:03:09,493 --> 00:03:11,538
I hope you're not
expecting the whole brigade.
35
00:03:11,562 --> 00:03:12,722
I'm kind of low on lemons.
36
00:03:12,746 --> 00:03:15,080
No, no. Just the
guys from my squad.
37
00:03:15,149 --> 00:03:16,882
What's left of them.
38
00:03:16,951 --> 00:03:18,233
I'm Buzz Crowder.
39
00:03:18,302 --> 00:03:20,118
Sam, I got this one.
40
00:03:20,187 --> 00:03:21,587
Buzz. Uh, Buzz.
41
00:03:21,656 --> 00:03:24,022
I'm the fellow you
talked to this morning.
42
00:03:24,091 --> 00:03:26,825
I didn't recognize the
uniform on the telephone.
43
00:03:26,894 --> 00:03:28,355
Come on, let me show you
44
00:03:28,379 --> 00:03:29,523
the back room.
45
00:03:29,547 --> 00:03:30,941
It's in the back
here in the back.
46
00:03:30,965 --> 00:03:32,097
I'm sorry about that.
47
00:03:32,166 --> 00:03:33,966
Can I get you something
to drink back there?
48
00:03:34,035 --> 00:03:35,245
Oh, no, I don't drink.
49
00:03:35,269 --> 00:03:36,947
But keep plenty for the others.
50
00:03:36,971 --> 00:03:38,816
We got a lot of
catching up to do.
51
00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:41,607
We meet in this
bar every ten years
52
00:03:41,676 --> 00:03:42,820
to reminisce.
53
00:03:42,844 --> 00:03:43,943
What war...
54
00:03:44,012 --> 00:03:46,012
what war were you in, uh, Buzz?
55
00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:47,992
Why, the First
World War, of course.
56
00:03:48,016 --> 00:03:49,393
Is that the one with Clark Gable
57
00:03:49,417 --> 00:03:52,017
or Gary Cooper?
58
00:03:52,086 --> 00:03:54,036
Wow. I'm 85.
59
00:03:54,105 --> 00:03:56,038
What's your excuse?
60
00:03:56,107 --> 00:03:58,508
Uh, baseball.
61
00:03:58,576 --> 00:03:59,942
What you writing, Slacks?
62
00:04:00,011 --> 00:04:01,711
Um, my thoughts.
63
00:04:01,779 --> 00:04:04,480
That would explain
all the blank pages.
64
00:04:06,818 --> 00:04:08,098
Carla, I'm writing
65
00:04:08,152 --> 00:04:10,653
during the odd
moments of the job
66
00:04:10,722 --> 00:04:13,133
much as Jack London did.
67
00:04:13,157 --> 00:04:16,575
Oh, is he a bad waitress, too?
68
00:04:16,643 --> 00:04:19,778
Ladies, please,
enough girl talk.
69
00:04:21,365 --> 00:04:24,283
Ah. Any sex in it?
70
00:04:24,351 --> 00:04:25,351
Ah!
71
00:04:26,854 --> 00:04:29,654
I've started writing
down bits of conversation
72
00:04:29,723 --> 00:04:31,089
I hear in the bar.
73
00:04:31,158 --> 00:04:32,758
Sometimes
74
00:04:32,826 --> 00:04:36,762
people say things that strike
me as snippets of Americana.
75
00:04:36,830 --> 00:04:41,200
You mean, things said by,
uh, customers, employees?
76
00:04:41,269 --> 00:04:42,479
Yeah.
77
00:04:42,503 --> 00:04:44,270
The owner?
78
00:04:44,338 --> 00:04:47,606
Uh... I'm afraid
you're not represented.
79
00:04:47,675 --> 00:04:49,342
Just my luck.
80
00:04:49,410 --> 00:04:51,510
She doesn't like my snippets.
81
00:04:53,347 --> 00:04:55,147
Afternoon, everybody.
82
00:04:55,215 --> 00:04:57,066
Norm! Norm!
83
00:04:57,135 --> 00:04:58,278
Norman.
84
00:04:58,302 --> 00:04:59,446
What you up to, Norm?
85
00:04:59,470 --> 00:05:01,470
20 years.
86
00:05:04,375 --> 00:05:05,457
A beer, Norm?
87
00:05:05,526 --> 00:05:08,760
Does a rag doll
have cloth knobs?
88
00:05:10,398 --> 00:05:13,466
There's a lady present, Norm.
89
00:05:13,534 --> 00:05:15,534
Oh, sorry, Diane.
90
00:05:16,704 --> 00:05:18,687
A shot of bourbon.
91
00:05:18,756 --> 00:05:20,506
Uh, sir, save your quarter.
92
00:05:20,574 --> 00:05:22,975
That piano hasn't
worked in 20 years.
93
00:05:23,043 --> 00:05:24,276
Use the jukebox.
94
00:05:24,345 --> 00:05:26,505
It doesn't work, either,
but it's only a dime.
95
00:05:27,698 --> 00:05:28,975
Sammy, why do you keep something
96
00:05:28,999 --> 00:05:30,226
around here that doesn't work?
97
00:05:30,250 --> 00:05:33,519
'Cause no one else
will give her a job.
98
00:05:33,587 --> 00:05:37,227
L-Ladies, Ladies...
99
00:05:38,026 --> 00:05:39,275
Got something good there?
100
00:05:39,343 --> 00:05:40,642
Yes.
101
00:05:40,711 --> 00:05:42,912
A remark a customer
dropped just a moment ago.
102
00:05:44,215 --> 00:05:45,348
Oh, yeah?
103
00:05:45,416 --> 00:05:46,549
Quotable remark, huh?
104
00:05:46,618 --> 00:05:47,983
You know, it occurs to me
105
00:05:48,052 --> 00:05:51,954
that sometimes we find
truth comes in a glass.
106
00:05:53,207 --> 00:05:55,891
Or a mug.
107
00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:57,993
Or your face.
108
00:06:00,814 --> 00:06:02,881
Hey, Pinky!
109
00:06:02,950 --> 00:06:05,117
You old brat!
110
00:06:05,186 --> 00:06:07,164
Sammy, uh, Tinker
Bell here or what?
111
00:06:07,188 --> 00:06:08,320
Uh...
112
00:06:08,389 --> 00:06:10,072
hey, Buzz?
113
00:06:10,141 --> 00:06:12,658
Buzz, isn't he a little bit
young to be one of your guys?
114
00:06:12,727 --> 00:06:13,842
Huh?
115
00:06:13,911 --> 00:06:15,055
Oh, of course.
116
00:06:15,079 --> 00:06:17,012
I'm sorry.
117
00:06:17,081 --> 00:06:19,192
Well, from behind
you look exactly
118
00:06:19,216 --> 00:06:21,077
like the young Pinky Peterson.
119
00:06:21,101 --> 00:06:24,153
You shouldn't walk up
and grab people like that.
120
00:06:24,221 --> 00:06:27,556
Uh, if I buy you a
beer, will you forget it?
121
00:06:27,625 --> 00:06:30,692
Buy me a pitcher, you
can kiss me on the lips.
122
00:06:33,097 --> 00:06:35,617
Hey, you're all right.
123
00:06:35,666 --> 00:06:36,894
I'll be in the back.
124
00:06:36,918 --> 00:06:38,567
Everything all right back there?
125
00:06:38,636 --> 00:06:40,819
Well, that room
is kind of small.
126
00:06:40,888 --> 00:06:42,921
One grenade will get us all.
127
00:06:47,745 --> 00:06:51,413
Aw, this looks
like a nice saloon.
128
00:06:51,482 --> 00:06:53,165
We aspire to saloon.
129
00:06:53,234 --> 00:06:55,584
Can I just sit anywhere?
130
00:06:55,653 --> 00:06:56,735
Try the bar.
131
00:06:56,804 --> 00:06:59,104
Makes good cover
during the gunfights.
132
00:07:02,759 --> 00:07:04,342
Hi.
133
00:07:04,412 --> 00:07:05,589
What'll you have?
134
00:07:05,613 --> 00:07:08,814
Uh, I'll have a carafe
of your house whiskey.
135
00:07:11,602 --> 00:07:13,535
Excuse me?
136
00:07:13,604 --> 00:07:15,437
Uh, is that a bad order?
137
00:07:15,506 --> 00:07:16,933
Well, not if you're
a party of 20.
138
00:07:16,957 --> 00:07:18,190
Oh.
139
00:07:18,259 --> 00:07:20,993
This is the first time
I've ever been in a bar.
140
00:07:21,062 --> 00:07:21,994
No kidding.
141
00:07:22,063 --> 00:07:23,462
No, really.
142
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:25,898
I was just passing by
and decided to drop in
143
00:07:25,967 --> 00:07:27,299
and see what it's like.
144
00:07:27,367 --> 00:07:30,519
Well, does it, uh, live
up to your expectations?
145
00:07:30,588 --> 00:07:31,870
Well, I expected
146
00:07:31,939 --> 00:07:35,073
to see more lost, desperate
souls sitting around.
147
00:07:35,142 --> 00:07:37,182
Well, Desperate Souls
Night is Thursday.
148
00:07:37,228 --> 00:07:40,362
All the beer you can,
uh, cry into for a buck.
149
00:07:40,431 --> 00:07:42,231
That's very amusing.
150
00:07:42,300 --> 00:07:44,033
Thank you.
151
00:07:44,101 --> 00:07:45,918
Where's Diane?
152
00:07:45,987 --> 00:07:48,970
I've never had
hard liquor in my life.
153
00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:51,873
You see, this is my last
day in the secular world.
154
00:07:51,942 --> 00:07:53,975
Tomorrow I'm going
into a monastery.
155
00:07:54,045 --> 00:07:55,322
Oh, yeah?
156
00:07:55,346 --> 00:07:59,431
So, this is, uh, kind
of like your last fling?
157
00:07:59,500 --> 00:08:01,450
Well, first and last.
158
00:08:01,519 --> 00:08:03,530
All right, I'll give you a drink
159
00:08:03,554 --> 00:08:05,532
but I want you to take it easy.
160
00:08:05,556 --> 00:08:07,334
It kind of sneaks up on you.
161
00:08:07,358 --> 00:08:09,391
You know, I once
thought of being a priest.
162
00:08:09,460 --> 00:08:11,060
Oh, you're religious?
163
00:08:11,128 --> 00:08:12,294
No, I just thought
164
00:08:12,363 --> 00:08:14,396
it'd be a nice kind of
peaceful life, you know?
165
00:08:15,616 --> 00:08:18,200
Allow me to dispel
your misconceptions.
166
00:08:18,269 --> 00:08:20,452
Oh, thank you, Father.
167
00:08:28,179 --> 00:08:29,912
You sure I can't get
you something, Buzz?
168
00:08:29,980 --> 00:08:31,257
Not yet, Sam.
169
00:08:31,281 --> 00:08:34,265
I came out to warn
you about something.
170
00:08:34,334 --> 00:08:36,196
Me and the boys
have got a little joke
171
00:08:36,220 --> 00:08:37,552
we play on each other.
172
00:08:37,621 --> 00:08:42,157
You see, first man here
always goes in the back room
173
00:08:42,226 --> 00:08:44,360
strips down to
his all together...
174
00:08:44,428 --> 00:08:45,527
Yeah, yeah.
175
00:08:45,596 --> 00:08:46,811
Oh, yeah.
176
00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:50,949
Then... stands on the table.
177
00:08:51,018 --> 00:08:52,968
And when the others walk in
178
00:08:53,037 --> 00:08:56,172
he yells out,
"Lafayette, we are here!"
179
00:08:58,008 --> 00:09:01,493
Well, tonight it's my turn.
180
00:09:01,562 --> 00:09:02,861
Thanks for the warning, Buzz.
181
00:09:02,930 --> 00:09:04,107
Yeah.
182
00:09:04,131 --> 00:09:06,265
Oh, Sam, uh...
183
00:09:06,333 --> 00:09:09,467
could you turn the heat
up just a little bit in there?
184
00:09:12,139 --> 00:09:14,839
A monk, huh?
185
00:09:14,908 --> 00:09:17,220
Hey, does that mean
you have to give up...?
186
00:09:17,244 --> 00:09:20,512
Well, as the French
so delicately put it
187
00:09:20,581 --> 00:09:24,516
the old, uh, eh-eh du eh-eh?
188
00:09:24,585 --> 00:09:26,885
I have to take a
vow of chastity.
189
00:09:26,953 --> 00:09:29,354
I also have to take
a vow of silence.
190
00:09:29,423 --> 00:09:31,351
Yep. You're going to give up sex
191
00:09:31,375 --> 00:09:33,386
you might as well
give up talking.
192
00:09:33,410 --> 00:09:34,955
What fun is messing around
193
00:09:34,979 --> 00:09:37,157
if you can't tell
the guys about it?
194
00:09:37,181 --> 00:09:39,565
It's no big deal.
195
00:09:39,633 --> 00:09:41,766
I've never had much
luck with girls, anyway.
196
00:09:41,835 --> 00:09:43,768
They don't find me attractive.
197
00:09:43,837 --> 00:09:47,005
Oh, hey, Kev, you're
an attractive guy.
198
00:09:47,074 --> 00:09:49,007
Diane?
199
00:09:49,076 --> 00:09:51,092
Yeah.
200
00:09:51,162 --> 00:09:54,062
Don't you think, uh,
he's a specimen?
201
00:09:54,131 --> 00:09:55,831
Of...?
202
00:09:55,900 --> 00:09:56,982
Well, yes.
203
00:09:57,051 --> 00:09:59,050
He's a very attractive fellow.
204
00:10:01,572 --> 00:10:03,539
Come on.
205
00:10:03,608 --> 00:10:05,608
I-I know I don't
have any sex appeal.
206
00:10:05,676 --> 00:10:08,377
I'm shy, I'm serious-minded.
207
00:10:08,446 --> 00:10:10,679
The search goes on for my chin.
208
00:10:15,586 --> 00:10:19,054
Kevin, speaking as a woman
209
00:10:19,123 --> 00:10:22,024
may I say that it's good
you're going in the monastery?
210
00:10:22,092 --> 00:10:23,870
You could be a
real heartbreaker.
211
00:10:23,894 --> 00:10:26,895
You're not a bambo, are you?
212
00:10:26,963 --> 00:10:28,897
No, no.
213
00:10:28,966 --> 00:10:30,199
A "bimbo."
214
00:10:30,267 --> 00:10:31,567
Ah!
215
00:10:31,636 --> 00:10:32,834
No, no.
216
00:10:32,903 --> 00:10:37,640
It's "bimbo," not
"bambo," and I'm not one.
217
00:10:37,708 --> 00:10:39,074
But you are.
218
00:10:39,143 --> 00:10:40,242
Attractive, Kevin.
219
00:10:40,311 --> 00:10:42,411
Attractive.
220
00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:44,413
What a great girl!
221
00:10:44,482 --> 00:10:46,164
Sam...
222
00:10:46,233 --> 00:10:47,932
is she taken?
223
00:10:48,001 --> 00:10:50,335
Only with herself.
224
00:10:50,404 --> 00:10:52,704
One drink in four hours.
225
00:10:52,773 --> 00:10:54,250
Is that what they
call nursing it?
226
00:10:54,274 --> 00:10:59,428
No. That's what they call
bringing it back from the dead.
227
00:10:59,496 --> 00:11:02,364
I hate to admit it, but
Carla just got in the book.
228
00:11:02,433 --> 00:11:03,982
Yeah, well, I always say, uh
229
00:11:04,051 --> 00:11:06,351
nurse a drink,
starve a bartender.
230
00:11:06,420 --> 00:11:07,420
Excuse me, Sam.
231
00:11:09,940 --> 00:11:12,574
Uh, smite me again, barkeep.
232
00:11:13,861 --> 00:11:15,126
You sure you want another one
233
00:11:15,195 --> 00:11:16,389
of these, Kevin?
234
00:11:16,413 --> 00:11:18,263
Yes! I'm rather enjoying myself.
235
00:11:18,332 --> 00:11:20,815
Okay, I'll, uh, make
this one a little weaker.
236
00:11:20,885 --> 00:11:22,934
No charge for the water.
237
00:11:23,003 --> 00:11:24,353
You needn't worry, Sam.
238
00:11:24,422 --> 00:11:26,055
I know I'm a novice drinker
239
00:11:26,123 --> 00:11:28,606
but I've only had one in
all the time I've been here.
240
00:11:28,675 --> 00:11:31,343
I'm not ready for
the lampshade yet.
241
00:11:34,131 --> 00:11:36,414
Excuse me.
242
00:11:36,483 --> 00:11:37,727
You know something, Sam?
243
00:11:37,751 --> 00:11:39,463
That Kevin's going
to make a great monk.
244
00:11:39,487 --> 00:11:41,781
He's got a good attitude.
245
00:11:41,805 --> 00:11:42,721
Diane?
246
00:11:42,789 --> 00:11:43,722
Yes.
247
00:11:43,790 --> 00:11:44,790
I want you.
248
00:11:44,825 --> 00:11:45,957
Oh, oh.
249
00:11:46,026 --> 00:11:48,243
No, no. Please let me down.
250
00:11:48,312 --> 00:11:50,762
Down! Down! Kevin!
251
00:11:50,831 --> 00:11:54,532
Diane, are you okay?
252
00:11:54,601 --> 00:11:56,485
I'm okay. I'm fine.
253
00:11:56,554 --> 00:11:58,348
I think I'd like to go
freshen up little bit.
254
00:11:58,372 --> 00:11:59,471
Absolutely.
255
00:11:59,540 --> 00:12:01,380
You okay? Yeah.
256
00:12:01,441 --> 00:12:03,353
Lafayette, we are here!
257
00:12:17,991 --> 00:12:21,043
Hey, here's a little-known fact.
258
00:12:21,112 --> 00:12:23,845
Now, most of you are
probably under the assumption
259
00:12:23,914 --> 00:12:26,732
that basketball was invented
in these United States, right?
260
00:12:26,801 --> 00:12:28,583
Yeah, James Naismith,
Springfield College.
261
00:12:28,652 --> 00:12:31,020
I can see it's a good
thing I showed up tonight.
262
00:12:31,088 --> 00:12:32,621
Basketball was invented
263
00:12:32,690 --> 00:12:35,157
thousands of years
ago by the Mayans.
264
00:12:35,225 --> 00:12:37,142
They played it for centuries.
265
00:12:37,211 --> 00:12:38,211
Is that true?
266
00:12:38,279 --> 00:12:39,522
Sure.
267
00:12:39,546 --> 00:12:41,107
Hey, watch me get
the coach on this one.
268
00:12:41,131 --> 00:12:42,798
Hey, Coach, I got
a question for you.
269
00:12:42,866 --> 00:12:43,877
Yeah, Cliff?
270
00:12:43,901 --> 00:12:45,734
Who invented basketball?
271
00:12:45,803 --> 00:12:47,102
The Mayans.
272
00:12:47,171 --> 00:12:48,337
Way to go, Coach.
273
00:12:48,406 --> 00:12:49,805
Where did you hear that?
274
00:12:49,873 --> 00:12:51,307
Well, how should I know?
275
00:12:51,375 --> 00:12:53,759
There must have been a
Mayan in here bragging about it.
276
00:12:53,827 --> 00:12:56,312
Volume, Sammy,
it's come-back time.
277
00:12:56,380 --> 00:12:57,546
Let's go.
278
00:12:57,614 --> 00:12:59,215
All right.
279
00:12:59,283 --> 00:13:00,850
Can I have your attention?
280
00:13:00,918 --> 00:13:02,401
Shh, shh, shh.
281
00:13:02,470 --> 00:13:04,487
I've been sitting here
drinking all evening
282
00:13:04,555 --> 00:13:06,504
and now I have
something important to say.
283
00:13:06,573 --> 00:13:10,976
Yeah, down the hall
and to the left, Kevin.
284
00:13:11,044 --> 00:13:13,412
First, I'd like to
make a public apology
285
00:13:13,481 --> 00:13:16,115
to the young lady I
insulted early this evening.
286
00:13:16,184 --> 00:13:17,583
I lost my head.
287
00:13:17,651 --> 00:13:19,296
Kevin, please,
don't worry about it.
288
00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:21,031
Apology accepted, Kevin.
289
00:13:21,055 --> 00:13:23,422
Second, I'd like
to thank you all
290
00:13:23,491 --> 00:13:25,607
for helping me see the light.
291
00:13:25,676 --> 00:13:27,760
It is clear now
that I am not fit
292
00:13:27,829 --> 00:13:29,077
for the monastery.
293
00:13:29,146 --> 00:13:32,180
I succumb too easily to
the pleasures of the flesh.
294
00:13:32,249 --> 00:13:33,265
That's okay.
295
00:13:33,333 --> 00:13:34,967
A lot of that going around.
296
00:13:35,035 --> 00:13:36,502
Don't worry about it.
297
00:13:36,570 --> 00:13:40,973
Tonight has proven
that I belong here in a bar
298
00:13:41,041 --> 00:13:43,559
drinking booze with
seedy degenerates
299
00:13:43,627 --> 00:13:47,112
and getting slapped
around by cheap dames.
300
00:13:47,181 --> 00:13:49,264
Kevin, it's our pleasure.
301
00:13:49,333 --> 00:13:50,566
Kevin...
302
00:13:50,634 --> 00:13:52,546
I'm going to give you
a real man's drink here.
303
00:13:52,570 --> 00:13:53,786
It's called coffee.
304
00:13:53,855 --> 00:13:54,970
Coffee?
305
00:13:55,038 --> 00:13:56,155
Men drink that?
306
00:13:56,223 --> 00:13:57,784
Men who've had
too much to drink do.
307
00:13:57,808 --> 00:13:58,757
That's it!
308
00:13:58,826 --> 00:14:00,192
That's the ball game.
309
00:14:00,260 --> 00:14:01,694
Hey, Norm, pay up.
310
00:14:01,762 --> 00:14:02,828
What do you say...
311
00:14:02,896 --> 00:14:05,397
Double or nothing
on the highlights?
312
00:14:07,068 --> 00:14:08,567
Oh, Sam.
313
00:14:08,635 --> 00:14:10,080
Any of my squad check in?
314
00:14:10,104 --> 00:14:11,653
Uh, not yet, Buzz.
315
00:14:11,722 --> 00:14:14,133
Maybe I won't wait for them.
316
00:14:14,157 --> 00:14:16,992
Send me back a ginger ale.
317
00:14:17,061 --> 00:14:18,193
Sam.
318
00:14:18,262 --> 00:14:20,362
I want a drink that
only men drink.
319
00:14:20,431 --> 00:14:22,547
Something that makes women sick.
320
00:14:22,616 --> 00:14:24,550
I'll give you some more coffee.
321
00:14:24,619 --> 00:14:27,169
No, no, I want something
stronger than coffee.
322
00:14:27,238 --> 00:14:29,558
I'll give you
yesterday's coffee.
323
00:14:30,507 --> 00:14:31,890
Kevin
324
00:14:31,959 --> 00:14:34,293
look, you're going to
have a big day tomorrow.
325
00:14:34,362 --> 00:14:35,472
How you going to feel
326
00:14:35,496 --> 00:14:37,607
walking into a monastery
with a hangover?
327
00:14:37,631 --> 00:14:39,764
I'm serious, Sam. I'm not going.
328
00:14:39,833 --> 00:14:42,017
Kevin, you're drunk.
329
00:14:42,086 --> 00:14:44,202
I am?
330
00:14:44,271 --> 00:14:46,466
Believe me, I know
what I'm talking about.
331
00:14:46,490 --> 00:14:49,057
What about your calling, Kevin?
332
00:14:49,126 --> 00:14:50,493
Oh, I never had a calling.
333
00:14:50,561 --> 00:14:52,577
I talked myself
into believing that.
334
00:14:52,646 --> 00:14:54,891
I've always been
an ordinary person
335
00:14:54,915 --> 00:14:57,449
and thought that
would make me special.
336
00:14:57,518 --> 00:14:58,795
This guy's discovered
337
00:14:58,819 --> 00:15:01,553
forever's a long time
to go between hay rides.
338
00:15:01,621 --> 00:15:05,508
You're going to turn your
back on God because of sex?
339
00:15:05,576 --> 00:15:10,312
Believe me, sex is
not that important.
340
00:15:11,465 --> 00:15:13,265
Carla, whoo, hey.
341
00:15:13,333 --> 00:15:15,700
Well, it's not. It's not.
342
00:15:15,769 --> 00:15:18,320
Can sex make stars?
343
00:15:18,388 --> 00:15:22,307
Or a tree or a rainbow?
344
00:15:22,376 --> 00:15:26,478
Can sex make an ocean,
or a newborn baby...
345
00:15:26,547 --> 00:15:28,764
Forget that one.
346
00:15:31,402 --> 00:15:32,963
I know just what she means.
347
00:15:32,987 --> 00:15:35,237
I once had a
religious experience
348
00:15:35,306 --> 00:15:39,291
just watching a hummingbird
hovering next to a flower.
349
00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:41,504
It's almost
impossible to imagine
350
00:15:41,528 --> 00:15:42,805
that something could
351
00:15:42,829 --> 00:15:45,513
hang in midair
like that for so long.
352
00:15:45,582 --> 00:15:48,884
I guess you never saw
one of my curveballs.
353
00:15:48,953 --> 00:15:50,418
You all think
354
00:15:50,487 --> 00:15:53,322
a man can't change
his life in one evening
355
00:15:53,390 --> 00:15:55,841
but I have.
356
00:15:55,910 --> 00:15:58,009
I want to be a regular guy.
357
00:15:58,078 --> 00:16:01,647
I want to arm-wrestle
and tell crude jokes
358
00:16:01,715 --> 00:16:04,617
and spit on the floor.
359
00:16:04,685 --> 00:16:07,018
And I want to dance
with cheap women.
360
00:16:07,087 --> 00:16:10,989
Carla, let's dance.
361
00:16:11,058 --> 00:16:15,127
Put that in your notebook,
I break your fingers.
362
00:16:15,195 --> 00:16:16,344
Kevin, Kevin
363
00:16:16,413 --> 00:16:17,573
just sit down for a sec...
364
00:16:17,631 --> 00:16:18,696
No, I want to dance, Sam.
365
00:16:18,765 --> 00:16:20,005
I'm having the time of my life.
366
00:16:20,034 --> 00:16:21,234
I don't ever want it to end.
367
00:16:21,302 --> 00:16:22,745
Come on, Kevin, that
doesn't even work.
368
00:16:22,769 --> 00:16:23,702
It doesn't?
369
00:16:23,771 --> 00:16:24,869
Well, then...
370
00:16:34,548 --> 00:16:36,043
I thought you said
that thing was broken.
371
00:16:36,067 --> 00:16:37,399
It is. It was.
372
00:16:37,468 --> 00:16:39,663
I mean, it hasn't been
working for, uh, 20 years.
373
00:16:39,687 --> 00:16:41,103
Oh, my God.
374
00:16:42,289 --> 00:16:44,573
Kevin, do you realize
what this means?
375
00:16:44,641 --> 00:16:47,225
I've healed a piano?
376
00:16:49,463 --> 00:16:51,329
It's a miracle or something.
377
00:16:51,398 --> 00:16:52,658
No, wait, wait a minute.
378
00:16:52,682 --> 00:16:53,793
Miracles don't happen.
379
00:16:53,817 --> 00:16:55,262
Are you sure it was broken?
380
00:16:55,286 --> 00:16:57,563
Yes. The motor was rusted solid.
381
00:16:57,587 --> 00:16:59,288
How could this happen?
382
00:16:59,356 --> 00:17:02,157
Well, maybe something
or somebody's trying
383
00:17:02,226 --> 00:17:04,692
to tell you what
to do with your life.
384
00:17:04,761 --> 00:17:06,728
Get into piano repair.
385
00:17:09,667 --> 00:17:11,494
No, no, wait, wait... Wait
a minute. Wait a minute.
386
00:17:11,518 --> 00:17:13,598
What are you... what
are you trying to say?
387
00:17:14,655 --> 00:17:18,190
Well, Kevin, you said
you're an ordinary person.
388
00:17:18,258 --> 00:17:20,208
Maybe you're not.
389
00:17:20,277 --> 00:17:21,988
Maybe you have a direction.
390
00:17:22,012 --> 00:17:24,780
You might as well
try and find out.
391
00:17:24,848 --> 00:17:26,365
Oh, you're right.
392
00:17:26,433 --> 00:17:29,067
I've come too far to let
one night in a fleshpot
393
00:17:29,135 --> 00:17:31,269
change my whole life.
394
00:17:31,338 --> 00:17:32,338
Yeah.
395
00:17:32,406 --> 00:17:34,272
Thank you.
396
00:17:34,341 --> 00:17:35,352
Thank you.
397
00:17:35,376 --> 00:17:37,620
Oh, you're welcome.
398
00:17:37,644 --> 00:17:38,684
Thank you.
399
00:17:38,712 --> 00:17:40,345
Hey, kid, all right.
400
00:17:40,414 --> 00:17:43,214
Oh, thank you.
401
00:17:45,719 --> 00:17:46,852
You're welcome.
402
00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:48,453
Thank you.
403
00:17:48,522 --> 00:17:50,455
Thank you.
404
00:17:50,524 --> 00:17:51,601
Thank you.
405
00:17:51,625 --> 00:17:52,635
Good night, Kev.
406
00:17:52,659 --> 00:17:53,592
Thank you.
407
00:17:53,660 --> 00:17:54,771
Bye, Kevin.
408
00:17:54,795 --> 00:17:56,256
See you at church.
409
00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:57,295
Good night.
410
00:18:01,635 --> 00:18:03,752
Boy, that was inspiring.
411
00:18:03,821 --> 00:18:04,931
Sam, are you sure
412
00:18:04,955 --> 00:18:06,249
you didn't get that piano fixed?
413
00:18:06,273 --> 00:18:07,867
I didn't get it fixed.
Did you get it fixed?
414
00:18:07,891 --> 00:18:10,308
Yeah, a couple of days ago, Sam.
415
00:18:11,745 --> 00:18:15,113
I meant to tell you about
it, but it slipped my mind.
416
00:18:15,182 --> 00:18:17,649
Coach, why did you
think it was inspiring
417
00:18:17,718 --> 00:18:19,384
if you got the piano fixed?
418
00:18:19,453 --> 00:18:23,538
Well, gee, Diane, that piano's
been busted, for what, 20 years?
419
00:18:23,607 --> 00:18:27,275
Why did I all of a sudden
decide to have it fixed?
420
00:18:27,344 --> 00:18:29,812
This would make
a great bar story.
421
00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:31,880
Too bad we're all here.
422
00:18:40,574 --> 00:18:42,006
Poor Buzz.
423
00:18:42,076 --> 00:18:43,486
He's breaking my heart.
424
00:18:43,510 --> 00:18:45,277
None of his old
buddies showed, huh?
425
00:18:45,345 --> 00:18:46,889
No, he's back
there all by himself
426
00:18:46,913 --> 00:18:48,191
throwing darts.
427
00:18:48,215 --> 00:18:49,725
He's been throwing darts now
428
00:18:49,749 --> 00:18:50,993
for an hour and a half.
429
00:18:51,017 --> 00:18:52,217
Poor guy.
430
00:18:52,286 --> 00:18:54,886
You know, I don't think
they'll ever make a pack
431
00:18:54,955 --> 00:18:57,839
big enough to carry the
loneliness of a soldier.
432
00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:05,113
Nah.
433
00:19:05,182 --> 00:19:07,949
Oh, come on.
434
00:19:08,018 --> 00:19:09,651
Sam?
435
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:12,721
What do I owe you, Sam?
436
00:19:12,789 --> 00:19:14,472
Nothing, Buzz.
437
00:19:14,541 --> 00:19:16,841
Uh, the room's on us. Forget it.
438
00:19:16,910 --> 00:19:18,410
Well, thanks.
439
00:19:24,652 --> 00:19:26,251
Hey, uh, Buzz...
440
00:19:26,319 --> 00:19:28,586
I was in the Army
myself, you know?
441
00:19:28,656 --> 00:19:30,055
Fort Dix.
442
00:19:30,124 --> 00:19:34,192
Yeah, I served in the
Navy, Buzz, in Pensacola.
443
00:19:34,261 --> 00:19:36,862
I was in the Reserves.
444
00:19:36,930 --> 00:19:39,397
I, I was never
actually in the Army
445
00:19:39,467 --> 00:19:42,868
but I did serve in
uniform; I was a Brownie.
446
00:19:44,788 --> 00:19:46,505
I won merit badges.
447
00:19:46,573 --> 00:19:52,360
I was in St. Cletus' Correctional
Institute for Wayward Girls.
448
00:19:52,429 --> 00:19:56,799
We used Brownies for firewood.
449
00:19:58,235 --> 00:19:59,896
You know
450
00:19:59,920 --> 00:20:05,807
every reunion we've had
has thinned out a little more.
451
00:20:05,876 --> 00:20:10,879
I-I guess this is the last one.
452
00:20:13,517 --> 00:20:18,003
I guess I'm the last one.
453
00:20:18,072 --> 00:20:21,122
Hey, come on. Maybe they,
uh... Maybe they just forgot.
454
00:20:21,191 --> 00:20:24,075
I mean, people tend to get busy
and make other commitments.
455
00:20:24,144 --> 00:20:25,744
Yeah. Yeah.
456
00:20:25,813 --> 00:20:27,557
Maybe, maybe their
lives aren't going so well
457
00:20:27,581 --> 00:20:29,258
and they just don't
want to come down here
458
00:20:29,282 --> 00:20:30,493
and see how great you're doing.
459
00:20:30,517 --> 00:20:32,551
Maybe they never liked you.
460
00:20:38,025 --> 00:20:41,993
Those guys would
never just forget, uh-uh.
461
00:20:42,062 --> 00:20:48,099
No, not after the things
we went through together.
462
00:20:48,168 --> 00:20:52,070
No, sir.
463
00:20:57,944 --> 00:20:59,578
Oh...
464
00:20:59,646 --> 00:21:04,382
I'm going to miss
these reunions.
465
00:21:04,451 --> 00:21:06,596
Oh, wait a minute,
Buzz, wait a minute.
466
00:21:06,620 --> 00:21:07,819
Listen, if all you want
467
00:21:07,887 --> 00:21:10,021
is some buddies to get
together with, we're here.
468
00:21:10,090 --> 00:21:11,367
Yeah.
469
00:21:11,391 --> 00:21:12,869
We're not old coots like you
470
00:21:12,893 --> 00:21:14,470
but we feel like we know you.
471
00:21:14,494 --> 00:21:16,361
Intimately.
472
00:21:17,898 --> 00:21:19,631
Look, Buzz...
473
00:21:19,699 --> 00:21:21,477
Buzz, maybe we could have
474
00:21:21,501 --> 00:21:23,846
like, a reunion every ten years.
475
00:21:23,870 --> 00:21:25,081
Why ten?
476
00:21:25,105 --> 00:21:26,971
What's wrong with
every year, huh?
477
00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:28,184
Yeah.
478
00:21:28,208 --> 00:21:30,208
How's about every week?
479
00:21:31,712 --> 00:21:35,246
♪ Mademoiselle from
Armentieres, parlez-vous ♪
480
00:21:35,315 --> 00:21:37,448
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪
481
00:21:37,517 --> 00:21:39,984
♪ Parlez-vous ♪
482
00:21:40,053 --> 00:21:43,322
♪ La, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la, la ♪
483
00:21:43,390 --> 00:21:47,559
♪ Hinky-dinky parlez-vous ♪
484
00:21:47,628 --> 00:21:51,296
Every ten years will be fine.
485
00:21:51,364 --> 00:21:54,048
Ah, come on, Pinky.
486
00:21:54,117 --> 00:21:56,162
I'll beat you at darts.
487
00:21:56,186 --> 00:21:57,497
Oh, yeah, we'll see about that.
488
00:21:57,521 --> 00:21:59,098
Come on, everybody.
489
00:21:59,122 --> 00:22:00,455
Listen, Sam.
490
00:22:00,524 --> 00:22:02,824
You don't need me now, do you?
491
00:22:02,893 --> 00:22:04,888
I've got an early
class in the morning.
492
00:22:04,912 --> 00:22:06,355
No, that's all
right. You can go.
493
00:22:06,379 --> 00:22:08,341
Good, thanks. COACH: Sam.
494
00:22:08,365 --> 00:22:09,948
You know something?
495
00:22:10,017 --> 00:22:14,302
Loneliness is a good thing
to share with somebody.
496
00:22:14,371 --> 00:22:16,238
Oh, wow.
497
00:22:16,306 --> 00:22:18,206
Oh...
498
00:22:18,275 --> 00:22:20,692
"Oh, wow"?
499
00:22:20,761 --> 00:22:22,226
"somebody."
500
00:22:22,296 --> 00:22:24,813
Would you get my
purse for me, please?
501
00:22:24,882 --> 00:22:28,049
This has been a great day, huh?
502
00:22:28,118 --> 00:22:31,003
How could I have known
when I woke up this morning
503
00:22:31,071 --> 00:22:33,404
that I would meet a
monk and a doughboy?
504
00:22:33,473 --> 00:22:36,341
Two men with one foot in heaven.
505
00:22:36,409 --> 00:22:37,709
Oh, that's good.
506
00:22:41,381 --> 00:22:43,314
Uh, hey, wait.
507
00:22:43,383 --> 00:22:44,883
Wait a second.
508
00:22:44,952 --> 00:22:46,501
Uh, it's not like
509
00:22:46,570 --> 00:22:49,654
this is important
to me or anything
510
00:22:49,723 --> 00:22:50,905
but, uh, are you aware
511
00:22:50,974 --> 00:22:53,108
that I'm the only
person in this whole bar
512
00:22:53,176 --> 00:22:54,359
who's not in that book?
513
00:22:54,428 --> 00:22:56,544
Uh... really?
514
00:22:56,613 --> 00:22:58,024
When I played baseball, I mean
515
00:22:58,048 --> 00:22:59,726
I used to get
quoted all the time.
516
00:22:59,750 --> 00:23:02,028
I mean, reporters used
to hang around my locker
517
00:23:02,052 --> 00:23:03,129
just waiting for me
518
00:23:03,153 --> 00:23:04,413
to say something intelligent.
519
00:23:04,437 --> 00:23:06,037
I know the feeling.
520
00:23:07,124 --> 00:23:08,206
Sam.
521
00:23:08,275 --> 00:23:09,395
Come on. That was a joke.
522
00:23:09,459 --> 00:23:10,470
Okay, fine.
523
00:23:10,494 --> 00:23:11,776
No, you're not joking.
524
00:23:11,845 --> 00:23:13,957
You're telling me that I'm
too dumb to be in that book.
525
00:23:13,981 --> 00:23:16,815
Sam, there are a lot
of people in this book
526
00:23:16,884 --> 00:23:18,616
just as dumb as you are.
527
00:23:20,587 --> 00:23:21,803
Now, look.
528
00:23:21,871 --> 00:23:25,039
I want natural poetry, okay?
529
00:23:25,108 --> 00:23:26,636
I'm writing down
spontaneous statements.
530
00:23:26,660 --> 00:23:28,710
All day, you've
been trying too hard.
531
00:23:28,779 --> 00:23:29,911
Okay, fine.
532
00:23:29,980 --> 00:23:31,157
You know, I don't
really want to be
533
00:23:31,181 --> 00:23:32,113
in that stupid
534
00:23:32,182 --> 00:23:33,526
pretentious book
of yours anyway.
535
00:23:33,550 --> 00:23:34,744
You know, you've been writing
536
00:23:34,768 --> 00:23:36,079
some pretty stupid
stuff in that book.
537
00:23:36,103 --> 00:23:37,313
I mean, I've heard
538
00:23:37,337 --> 00:23:38,731
some of the stuff
you've been writing
539
00:23:38,755 --> 00:23:40,066
in that book, and it's stupid.
540
00:23:40,090 --> 00:23:41,651
You know, I mean,
what does a stuffed shirt
541
00:23:41,675 --> 00:23:42,985
know about blue
collar poetry, huh?
542
00:23:43,009 --> 00:23:44,108
That's good.
543
00:23:44,177 --> 00:23:45,944
Whoa, that's really good.
544
00:23:46,013 --> 00:23:49,614
"What does a... know about..."
36671
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