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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:25,776 Hello, ladies. 2 00:00:26,777 --> 00:00:28,820 Lady, singular. 3 00:00:29,238 --> 00:00:31,299 - Where's your mother? - I'm staying at my dad's tonight. 4 00:00:31,323 --> 00:00:32,449 But it's game night. 5 00:00:32,658 --> 00:00:34,535 The detective always comes to game night. 6 00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:38,664 Came to game night. Maybe that's why she never texts me back. 7 00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:42,084 - Parents... they're a mystery. - Oh, well, I'll give you that. 8 00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:46,380 She didn't happen to mention anything about being a gift, 9 00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:47,631 did she? From god? 10 00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:49,067 'Cause if that's the stumbling block, 11 00:00:49,091 --> 00:00:51,343 it's really much less of an issue than she thinks. 12 00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:53,679 Grown-up problems. Not interested. 13 00:00:54,096 --> 00:00:55,639 Also, who cares where my mom is? 14 00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:56,974 Well, me, for one. 15 00:00:57,140 --> 00:00:59,768 It's game night and Trixie's in the house. 16 00:00:59,935 --> 00:01:02,354 Well... I suppose we could play monopoly. 17 00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:05,190 Nah. Monopoly's no fun with just two people. 18 00:01:05,274 --> 00:01:07,067 Well, fine. You've twisted my arm 19 00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:09,528 since it may very well be my last night on earth. 20 00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:11,530 Let's go to the bar. 21 00:01:12,948 --> 00:01:15,158 My parents wouldn't like that. 22 00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:17,242 Wouldn't they? Sounds like grown-up problems to me. 23 00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:20,330 You could tell me a story. 24 00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:24,126 - Do I look like Mr. Rogers? - You don't have to make anything up. 25 00:01:24,626 --> 00:01:27,045 You could just tell me about... 26 00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:32,134 - This dagger. Has it ever killed anyone? - Not yet, no. 27 00:01:36,138 --> 00:01:40,017 - Do these work? - Um... depends on who you're asking. 28 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,351 Well, what about this? 29 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:43,562 What, the manicure? It's just a simple buff and shine. 30 00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:45,897 Your ring. Tell me the story of your ring. 31 00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:48,817 Unless you'd rather talk about the handcuffs. 32 00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:51,028 Quite the negotiator, aren't we? 33 00:01:51,987 --> 00:01:53,030 Very well. 34 00:01:53,822 --> 00:01:55,240 For one night only. 35 00:01:56,283 --> 00:01:58,452 It's story time at the penthouse. 36 00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:01,747 Mmm. What... 37 00:02:02,414 --> 00:02:04,583 My mom usually starts with "once upon a time." 38 00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:05,667 Does she? 39 00:02:06,168 --> 00:02:07,294 All right, well... 40 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:11,256 Once upon a time... 41 00:02:12,007 --> 00:02:14,885 The devil went to New York City. 42 00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:17,053 The year... 43 00:02:17,763 --> 00:02:19,640 Was 1946. 44 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:39,868 It was a wonderful time. Men wore hats. 45 00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:43,372 Hemlines were on the rise... And so was crime. 46 00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:52,756 Rationing was over, the boys were home from the war, 47 00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:56,510 and the air was full of big band music and possibility. 48 00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,641 An old friend had reached out, 49 00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:05,560 asking me to meet her for a drink at the garden club. 50 00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:35,549 Now, the garden club was the hottest spot 51 00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:36,675 on the isle of Manhattan 52 00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:40,011 because it had the best chanteuse on the marquee. 53 00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:42,305 The whole city knew her voice, 54 00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:45,809 but I was the only one who knew her real name. Lilith. 55 00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:48,437 - Wait, who's Lilith? - Maze's mother. 56 00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:49,855 Her spitting image, 57 00:03:49,938 --> 00:03:52,023 though neither of them would ever admit it. 58 00:03:52,107 --> 00:03:54,192 I'm tired of being pure 59 00:03:54,860 --> 00:03:55,986 and not 60 00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:58,071 chased! 61 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:02,826 Like something that seeks its level 62 00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:05,787 I wanna go to the devil 63 00:04:05,871 --> 00:04:07,122 that's me. 64 00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:11,001 I wanna be evil, I wanna spit tacks 65 00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:17,299 I wanna be evil and cheat at Jacks 66 00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:24,181 I wanna be wicked, I wanna tell lies 67 00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:30,061 I wanna be mean and throw mud pies 68 00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:33,273 and in the theater 69 00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:37,110 I want to change my seat 70 00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:42,824 just so I can step on everybody's feet 71 00:04:42,908 --> 00:04:45,494 I wanna be evil 72 00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:48,955 I wanna hurt flies 73 00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:55,504 I wanna sing songs like the guy who cries 74 00:04:55,587 --> 00:05:00,842 I wanna be horrid I wanna drink booze 75 00:05:00,926 --> 00:05:03,094 and whatever I've got 76 00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:08,433 I'm eager to lose 77 00:05:08,517 --> 00:05:13,939 I wanna be evil 78 00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:19,778 Little evil me 79 00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:23,865 just as mean and evil 80 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:27,327 asl 81 00:05:27,953 --> 00:05:33,959 can be 82 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,258 Meow. 83 00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:52,018 - Such a talent! - Yes. 84 00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:56,484 What the hell do you think you're doing, laddie? 85 00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:59,526 I'm just going to speak with my friend. 86 00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:01,820 You shouldn't be eyeballing Lily Rose like that. 87 00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:04,656 - She's stompanato's girl. - Put it in neutral, boys. 88 00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:11,371 Trust me. That's a fight you don't want to pick. 89 00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:16,251 Why don't you fellows go jerk yourselves a soda? 90 00:06:17,252 --> 00:06:18,252 Oh, and... 91 00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:19,963 And tell Tommy... 92 00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:22,132 I'm nobody's girl. 93 00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:27,846 So... 94 00:06:28,013 --> 00:06:29,139 How long has it been? 95 00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:31,808 I don't believe I've seen you since... 96 00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:33,810 Marie-antoinette's coming-out party. 97 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:36,479 And come out she did. 98 00:06:36,938 --> 00:06:38,064 Shame what happened to her. 99 00:06:38,607 --> 00:06:40,984 So what've you been up to the past few hundred years? 100 00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:43,987 Oh, singing, carousing. 101 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,531 Raising hell one gin joint at a time. 102 00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:49,409 Everything was copacetic 103 00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,745 until someone stole my ring. 104 00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:54,831 Oh, well, that is unfortunate. 105 00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:58,585 How about we cheer you up with a healthy distraction, hmm? 106 00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:01,922 We could rent out a brothel, Rob a bank... 107 00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:05,592 Oh. Ernie Hemingway is in town. He's always good for a laugh. 108 00:07:09,304 --> 00:07:11,264 Oh, and I'm not sure you can go out in that. 109 00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:14,684 Lucifer, that ring is the only thing in the entire universe 110 00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,394 that means anything to me. 111 00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:19,105 I'm going to get it back. 112 00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:22,192 And you... are gonna help me. 113 00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:24,694 And why would I do that? 114 00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:29,532 Because you owe me. 115 00:07:32,661 --> 00:07:34,663 Right. That. 116 00:07:38,416 --> 00:07:40,293 The devil solving crime. 117 00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:43,046 It's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. 118 00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:54,849 Seeing as this was long before my police consultant days, 119 00:07:54,933 --> 00:07:57,310 I needed help, professional help. 120 00:07:57,394 --> 00:07:59,980 Jack was a tough guy I knew from back when. 121 00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:03,525 Bit of a hot mess since the war, but when it came to solving crimes, 122 00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:05,777 he was the best in the business. 123 00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:08,570 Hang on. 124 00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:11,282 Why does the investigator have to be a boy? 125 00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:13,493 My mom solves crimes all the time. 126 00:08:14,369 --> 00:08:15,369 Fine. 127 00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:17,539 As I was saying... 128 00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:28,842 Well, if it ain't Lucifer morningstar. 129 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,136 What can I do you for? 130 00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:34,597 I need to locate a rare and extremely valuable 131 00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:36,307 piece of stolen jewelry. 132 00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:40,936 This ring... 133 00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:42,731 To be precise. 134 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:44,607 Wait. Stop the story. 135 00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:47,153 You're supposed to be telling me about your ring. 136 00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:48,528 Your ring is black. 137 00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:50,089 Do you want to hear the story or not? 138 00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:51,753 Because I'd be perfectly happy at the bar. 139 00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:54,492 Okay, okay. Please, continue. 140 00:08:54,951 --> 00:08:55,994 Oh, thank you. 141 00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,206 And why would I stick my nose in? 142 00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:11,926 All right, I'm listening. 143 00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,180 Where'd you last see the ring? 144 00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:24,439 All right, listen. This is a pretty rough joint. 145 00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:26,900 Trouble comes a-knockin', best stay behind me. 146 00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:29,736 Oh, don't worry. I've seen my fair share of trouble. 147 00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:33,323 Hmm! Oh, yeah? How many Nazis you take out lately? 148 00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:35,950 At ease, soldier. 149 00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:40,288 If fisticuffs ensue, I promise to let you have all the fun. 150 00:09:44,375 --> 00:09:47,087 Which one of these ne'er-do-Wells should we interview first? 151 00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:50,924 Same person everyone talks to. 152 00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:59,075 Be with you in two shakes. 153 00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:03,560 What's your poison? 154 00:10:03,895 --> 00:10:05,480 Gin? Tequila? 155 00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:08,942 We're, uh, looking for information on Lily Rose's ring. 156 00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:10,318 You know who nabbed it? 157 00:10:13,488 --> 00:10:14,488 Word on the street... 158 00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:17,742 Is folks say a newcomer was seen lurking around 159 00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:20,078 Lily's dressing room the night the ring disappeared. 160 00:10:21,162 --> 00:10:23,456 Sticky-fingered gent by the name of lucky Larry. 161 00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:26,042 - Oh. - Oh. You get a description? 162 00:10:32,423 --> 00:10:35,343 Sure, sure. Handsome. Kind of beefy. 163 00:10:35,677 --> 00:10:37,720 Short-haired, strong jaw. 164 00:10:38,221 --> 00:10:40,765 Usually wears a plain, blue suit. Oh... 165 00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:42,350 And an eyepatch. 166 00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:44,459 Well, you might have led with that. 167 00:10:45,854 --> 00:10:46,854 All right. 168 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:51,483 Hey. 169 00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:52,777 See that fella? 170 00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:56,281 That's the face of a rat just dying to squeal. 171 00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:57,866 You sit tight. 172 00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:00,243 I'm gonna go lend him an ear. 173 00:11:02,287 --> 00:11:03,621 Oh. Lovely. 174 00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:05,415 Just what the doctor ordered. 175 00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:09,127 Jack Monroe, pl. 176 00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:18,720 You got any information on a lucky Larry? 177 00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:21,472 Seen him around. 178 00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:24,475 Handsome, beefy, strong jaw. 179 00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:26,769 - Eyepatch? - That's the guy! 180 00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:29,188 Listen. 181 00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:32,901 I don't want any trouble, but if you meet me out back in five, 182 00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:34,963 I might be able to get you the skinny. 183 00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:36,612 All right. 184 00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:48,332 Well... 185 00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:51,085 It appears our rat turned tail and ran. 186 00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:53,922 Yeah. He'll show. 187 00:11:57,508 --> 00:11:59,052 So? What did you wanna tell me? 188 00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:04,431 Oh! 189 00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:06,851 Owl - you again. 190 00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:10,021 Oh, dear. Are you certain you don't want me to get involved? 191 00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:11,957 It feels a little unsporting just standing here. 192 00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:14,275 I take it back. 193 00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:40,760 Warmed 'em up for you, Mr. Stompanato. 194 00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,224 Thanks, boys. 195 00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:50,520 - Wait! Hold it. - Oh, for crying out loud. 196 00:12:50,853 --> 00:12:53,231 I thought you said, "Mr. Stompanato." 197 00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:55,024 Mister is a man. 198 00:12:55,316 --> 00:12:58,236 Did you or did you not request a gender-balanced narrative? 199 00:12:58,319 --> 00:13:00,363 I'm simply following your instructions. 200 00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:04,701 Perhaps you're wondering 201 00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,703 why I gathered you here this fine evening. 202 00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:08,453 Thing is... 203 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:13,042 I don't like folks asking questions in my club. 204 00:13:13,835 --> 00:13:16,337 Sticking noses where they don't belong. 205 00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:20,758 If you could refrain... 206 00:13:21,676 --> 00:13:23,845 Oh, I would deeply appreciate it. 207 00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:26,597 Because next time... 208 00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:30,518 I won't be so nice. 209 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:33,896 That means you're gonna die. 210 00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:45,116 And you... 211 00:13:47,118 --> 00:13:49,162 You're lucky you're a friend of Lily's. 212 00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:53,124 But don't get too friendly. 213 00:13:57,378 --> 00:13:58,796 Enjoy your evening. 214 00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:02,759 Let's go, boys. 215 00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:12,935 Yeah, thanks for having my six back there. 216 00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:15,521 You told me to stay behind you. 217 00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:18,900 Which wasn't easy, considering you spent so much time on the pavement. 218 00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:22,070 So, what now? 219 00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:26,741 Well, we'll check out lucky Larry's usual haunts in the morning. 220 00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:29,035 You know, petty thieves are like bad pennies. 221 00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:30,870 Sooner or later, they always turn up. 222 00:14:31,329 --> 00:14:32,538 Well, then, 223 00:14:32,622 --> 00:14:34,791 I am off to trip the light fantastic 224 00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,793 with your city's best and brightest. 225 00:14:37,919 --> 00:14:39,712 I assume you have plans of your own. 226 00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:44,175 What can I say? Life's one big party. 227 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:50,390 Little did I know, Jack and his wife, Shirley, 228 00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:53,267 - were going through a rough patch. - How are the potatoes? 229 00:14:58,689 --> 00:15:01,067 I made them with cream... Just like you like. 230 00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:09,283 What happened with your eye? 231 00:15:12,787 --> 00:15:13,787 Nothing. 232 00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:17,059 Jack, I know you're still sore with me, but you can't just... 233 00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:19,377 Excuse me. I lost my appetite. 234 00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:26,134 God forbid a man gets a moment's peace around here. 235 00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:36,436 Lucky Larry? 236 00:15:52,743 --> 00:15:53,953 Give me that name again. 237 00:15:57,415 --> 00:16:00,543 I have to say, that dress is a lovely color on you. 238 00:16:01,169 --> 00:16:02,587 What say we leave the dishes 239 00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:04,422 and take it for a spin at the copacabana? 240 00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:07,049 Oh, that's sweet of you, Mr. Morningstar, but... 241 00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:09,886 - I already have my dance partner. - Oh. 242 00:16:11,262 --> 00:16:12,638 At least I thought I did. 243 00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:14,515 All right, thanks. 244 00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:22,940 If you know what's good for you, you stay the hell away from my wife. 245 00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:24,609 Well, I didn't think you'd mind, 246 00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:27,236 considering you haven't said two words to her since I arrived. 247 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,322 I just got off the horn with my informant. 248 00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:31,199 Apparently, lucky Larry got into it 249 00:16:31,282 --> 00:16:32,909 with someone down at the docks yesterday. 250 00:16:33,451 --> 00:16:37,538 A, uh, bratwurst heir by the name of William kincannon. 251 00:16:37,872 --> 00:16:39,707 Folks call him, Willy "the sausage prince." 252 00:16:40,625 --> 00:16:41,935 Sounds like an upstanding fellow. 253 00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:44,378 Yeah, well, I'll bust his chops in the morning. 254 00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,383 Jack. Where are you going? 255 00:16:49,467 --> 00:16:50,467 I, um... 256 00:16:50,635 --> 00:16:52,678 I think it's gonna be an early morning and, uh... 257 00:16:53,387 --> 00:16:54,387 I'll just... 258 00:16:55,389 --> 00:16:56,474 Sleep at the office. 259 00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:04,190 So, what did the missus do to get your trousers in such a twist? 260 00:17:04,482 --> 00:17:05,608 Cheat on you? 261 00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:08,819 Kick your dog? Ruin your favorite shirt? 262 00:17:08,903 --> 00:17:09,946 None of the above. 263 00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:11,614 Couple of weeks back, I... 264 00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:14,157 Went out with... 265 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,702 Some of my army pals and, uh... 266 00:17:18,496 --> 00:17:20,665 A few drinks in, the captain says to me... 267 00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:25,545 "You and Shirley were the best 20 bucks I ever spent." 268 00:17:28,339 --> 00:17:31,217 Well, I thought it was fate that brought Shirley and I together 269 00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:33,135 in the public library that day. 270 00:17:34,095 --> 00:17:35,388 All along, it was... 271 00:17:36,013 --> 00:17:37,223 Just about money. 272 00:17:37,848 --> 00:17:39,684 - Shirley was a call girl. - Yeah. 273 00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:42,478 That's right. And rousting me 274 00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,397 out of my shell shock was her final trick. 275 00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:45,981 Well... 276 00:17:46,274 --> 00:17:47,984 Aren't you lucky? 277 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,944 To benefit from the experience 278 00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:53,698 your wife has gained with dozens, maybe hundreds, of men. 279 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:57,326 Firemen, barbers, sailors, carnival barkers, butchers... 280 00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:58,661 Yeah, I get it. 281 00:18:00,121 --> 00:18:02,790 If it bothers you so much, why not just up stakes and leave? 282 00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:04,250 Well, 'cause I love her. 283 00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:06,711 And, uh, she says she loves me. 284 00:18:08,546 --> 00:18:10,816 So when you find out the best thing that ever happened to you 285 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:13,718 started with a lie, well, it's like building a house on quicksand. 286 00:18:14,552 --> 00:18:16,470 Sooner or later, it all falls apart. 287 00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:20,891 Sorry. Got lost in a daydream 288 00:18:20,975 --> 00:18:24,812 on account of your problem being so extraordinarily boring. 289 00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:28,065 Have you considered forgetting about it? 290 00:18:29,692 --> 00:18:32,111 "Have I considered forgetting about it"? 291 00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:35,906 - Is that your advice? - Well, in my experience, 292 00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:40,745 problems are like... Bible salesmen or genital warts. 293 00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:44,206 If you pretend they're not there, sooner or later, they disappear. 294 00:18:52,923 --> 00:18:54,634 Can you not paint the sword first? 295 00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:56,344 It's ridiculously heavy. 296 00:18:56,427 --> 00:18:58,763 - Perhaps you'd like a break, sir. - Ugh. 297 00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:00,388 Yeah. 298 00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:03,767 Why don't ya... 299 00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:05,811 Take a load off, Willy? 300 00:19:06,062 --> 00:19:07,229 Who the hell are you? 301 00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:11,359 - Jack Monroe, pl. - Lucifer morningstar, devil. 302 00:19:12,026 --> 00:19:13,569 Carmina! 303 00:19:13,944 --> 00:19:14,944 Tea. 304 00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:23,287 Oh, my dear friend Sigmund would have had a field day with you. 305 00:19:23,371 --> 00:19:24,955 Where's the ring? 306 00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:28,459 - The what? - Never mind. I'll find it myself. 307 00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:30,502 What are you doing? 308 00:19:30,878 --> 00:19:32,672 What is he doing? What, what is he doing? 309 00:19:32,755 --> 00:19:34,315 Can you please tell me what he's doing? 310 00:19:34,465 --> 00:19:36,467 Hey. I wouldn't worry about that. 311 00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:39,011 What I would worry about is we heard 312 00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:42,264 you had a pretty heated exchange down at the docks yesterday. 313 00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:44,350 Guy named lucky Larry. 314 00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:49,897 So, lucky Larry stole my friend's ring and then wound up dead. 315 00:19:50,231 --> 00:19:52,483 Stabbed in the back. Some sort of fancy knife. 316 00:19:52,566 --> 00:19:55,695 Wait. You think I killed him? 317 00:19:56,612 --> 00:19:57,780 I would never. 318 00:19:58,572 --> 00:20:00,950 I mean, I could if I had to, but I didn't. 319 00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:03,052 And I don't know anything about a ring. 320 00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:05,180 Does anyone know about your whereabouts last night? 321 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:06,204 Yes. 322 00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:07,873 My portraitist. 323 00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:09,834 I was posing as Hannibal crossing the alps 324 00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:11,043 until almost midnight. 325 00:20:11,252 --> 00:20:14,380 The overtime fees for a rental elephant are unconscionable. 326 00:20:14,839 --> 00:20:16,716 How do you know lucky Larry, exactly? 327 00:20:27,268 --> 00:20:28,644 From time to time... 328 00:20:29,270 --> 00:20:32,273 I purchase a trinket or two from Lawrence. 329 00:20:32,815 --> 00:20:35,401 How they come into his possession, I do not ask. 330 00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:38,571 I collect objets de guerre. 331 00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:42,158 If he has something that I enjoy, he calls me. 332 00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:45,536 I just love war. Don't you? 333 00:20:47,997 --> 00:20:48,997 Sure. 334 00:20:50,166 --> 00:20:52,710 5th infantry. Battle of the bulge. 335 00:20:53,294 --> 00:20:54,294 And now, 336 00:20:54,837 --> 00:20:56,422 where exactly did you serve? 337 00:20:56,547 --> 00:20:59,508 - I would've but... - Asthma. 338 00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:02,303 That's why I was so upset when lucky Larry 339 00:21:02,386 --> 00:21:04,847 insisted that we have our meeting up on the docks. 340 00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:06,432 There was dirt everywhere. 341 00:21:07,141 --> 00:21:08,934 And I am almost certain I stepped in feces. 342 00:21:09,643 --> 00:21:11,371 You know, I'm beginning to think that Willy here 343 00:21:11,395 --> 00:21:13,248 doesn't have the brains to have nicked Lily's ring. 344 00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:14,523 No kidding. 345 00:21:14,982 --> 00:21:16,776 Where do you and Larry meet normally? 346 00:21:16,859 --> 00:21:19,737 At his apartment. It's not much cleaner than the docks. 347 00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:22,698 And, yes, I will have carmina write down the address for you. 348 00:21:23,741 --> 00:21:24,741 Thanks. 349 00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:28,913 - Quite a unique fellow, aren't you? - Mmm. 350 00:21:29,538 --> 00:21:32,875 There's a word to describe you, but I can't quite put my finger on it. 351 00:21:34,168 --> 00:21:36,128 It's like a shower, but French. 352 00:21:37,004 --> 00:21:38,839 Ah. I'm sure it'll come to me. 353 00:21:39,089 --> 00:21:40,925 Hmm. Mmm. 354 00:21:43,677 --> 00:21:45,805 Private dick track down that ring of yours? 355 00:21:46,096 --> 00:21:49,183 Hardly. Her best lead just turned up dead. 356 00:21:51,227 --> 00:21:52,937 Sounds like that ring meant a lot to you. 357 00:21:57,942 --> 00:21:59,235 I was married... 358 00:21:59,693 --> 00:22:00,945 A long time ago. 359 00:22:02,154 --> 00:22:03,447 Guy named Adam. 360 00:22:04,782 --> 00:22:07,451 Things weren't great between us. 361 00:22:07,910 --> 00:22:09,954 Even worse between me and his father. 362 00:22:10,371 --> 00:22:11,956 - I'm sorry. - Don't be. 363 00:22:12,581 --> 00:22:15,292 By the time they sent me away, it was almost a relief. 364 00:22:17,044 --> 00:22:20,965 I took one little piece of that garden on the way out. 365 00:22:22,091 --> 00:22:23,968 The stone that was in my ring. 366 00:22:26,387 --> 00:22:28,806 I didn't like much of anything about my life back then. 367 00:22:30,641 --> 00:22:32,726 But I sure did love that garden. 368 00:22:36,689 --> 00:22:37,689 Anyway... 369 00:22:38,816 --> 00:22:42,278 The ring reminds me that I don't need Adam or his family. 370 00:22:42,820 --> 00:22:44,071 That I don't need anybody. 371 00:22:44,822 --> 00:22:47,241 - Oh, Lily. - You're married, right? 372 00:22:48,409 --> 00:22:49,409 Yeah. 373 00:22:50,786 --> 00:22:52,288 To my high school sweetheart, bill. 374 00:22:53,747 --> 00:22:55,708 We got hitched just before he enlisted. 375 00:22:55,916 --> 00:22:57,877 - Mmm. - Wrote each other every day. 376 00:22:59,879 --> 00:23:01,964 Until he got wounded in guadalcanal. 377 00:23:04,341 --> 00:23:07,303 But he made it out. All the way to the va upstate. 378 00:23:09,638 --> 00:23:11,140 But the doctors, they can't... 379 00:23:13,475 --> 00:23:15,269 We've known each other all our lives. 380 00:23:17,104 --> 00:23:18,272 I just can't believe... 381 00:23:19,189 --> 00:23:20,274 I might lose him. 382 00:23:21,567 --> 00:23:24,403 Guess I'm lucky I never got attached to anybody that way. 383 00:23:24,486 --> 00:23:25,571 Don't you say that! 384 00:23:26,947 --> 00:23:29,158 Every day with my bill is a gift. 385 00:23:31,952 --> 00:23:33,954 Knowing we may not have much time left... 386 00:23:36,290 --> 00:23:38,042 Only makes it that much sweeter. 387 00:23:44,673 --> 00:23:47,426 Ugh. 388 00:23:48,844 --> 00:23:51,096 Well, I don't know why they called him lucky Larry. 389 00:23:52,431 --> 00:23:56,477 This apartment is literally the most depressing hovel I've ever seen. 390 00:23:57,019 --> 00:23:58,812 And I've seen kafka's hell loop. 391 00:24:06,111 --> 00:24:07,631 - Ugh. - Your friend's ring might not be here, 392 00:24:07,655 --> 00:24:10,282 but there is plenty of useful information. 393 00:24:10,491 --> 00:24:12,201 - You see this rug crumpled up? - Mmm. 394 00:24:12,451 --> 00:24:15,829 I think this is where our killer bops Larry right in the kisser. 395 00:24:16,580 --> 00:24:18,415 Larry falls backwards here, 396 00:24:18,624 --> 00:24:19,708 hits his head, 397 00:24:19,792 --> 00:24:22,127 right here on the table where you see these wood chips. 398 00:24:22,211 --> 00:24:23,211 Mm-hmm. 399 00:24:24,380 --> 00:24:25,380 But then... 400 00:24:26,090 --> 00:24:27,007 He shakes it off. 401 00:24:27,091 --> 00:24:32,262 He gets up and he charges at our killer, you, like this. 402 00:24:32,888 --> 00:24:34,765 He knocks the wind out of him. 403 00:24:34,848 --> 00:24:36,534 - Sorry, pal. - That's all right. I love roleplay. 404 00:24:36,558 --> 00:24:40,104 Things are looking up for our pal Larry until the killer pulls out a knife. 405 00:24:41,063 --> 00:24:42,523 - Aha! - Larry... 406 00:24:43,190 --> 00:24:46,110 Heads to the window, but the window was painted shut. 407 00:24:46,610 --> 00:24:49,738 He tried. He... wrenched it open. 408 00:24:52,116 --> 00:24:54,410 He got halfway out, when the killer... 409 00:24:55,995 --> 00:24:57,705 Comes over, stabs him in the back... 410 00:24:59,039 --> 00:25:01,375 Creating that blood splatter. 411 00:25:02,042 --> 00:25:03,042 Oh. 412 00:25:03,335 --> 00:25:04,962 And then... 413 00:25:06,088 --> 00:25:08,882 Larry escapes into the evening. 414 00:25:09,758 --> 00:25:11,760 Only to expire on your doorstep. 415 00:25:13,303 --> 00:25:15,305 I just wish we had some more evidence 416 00:25:15,389 --> 00:25:17,850 pointing us to whoever dusted poor old Larry. 417 00:25:19,476 --> 00:25:20,644 Well, actually, 418 00:25:21,353 --> 00:25:22,813 I might have something. 419 00:25:23,230 --> 00:25:24,648 Huh? 420 00:25:25,274 --> 00:25:28,485 A very expensive cigar. Well, just the tip. 421 00:25:28,861 --> 00:25:31,864 Romeo y Julieta, a favorite of Winston Churchill and... 422 00:25:31,947 --> 00:25:34,742 - Our old pal, Tommy stompanato. - Tommy stompanato. 423 00:25:40,831 --> 00:25:41,831 Huh. 424 00:25:44,126 --> 00:25:47,546 So stompanato finds out lucky Larry stole his girl's ring, 425 00:25:48,630 --> 00:25:49,798 poses as a buyer, 426 00:25:50,632 --> 00:25:51,633 gets the ring back. 427 00:25:51,717 --> 00:25:53,510 Then kills the thief to avenge the girl. 428 00:25:53,594 --> 00:25:56,221 But it stompanato did all this to impress Lily Rose... 429 00:25:56,305 --> 00:25:58,223 - Why not give her the ring? - Yeah. 430 00:26:27,586 --> 00:26:29,546 Rise and shine, stompanato. 431 00:26:47,397 --> 00:26:49,775 That certainly explains why he never gave Lily's ring back. 432 00:26:50,776 --> 00:26:54,154 Looks like Mr. Stompanato's bark was worse than his bite. 433 00:27:03,413 --> 00:27:04,493 They took his heart. 434 00:27:05,249 --> 00:27:06,559 What do you think they did with it? 435 00:27:06,583 --> 00:27:08,794 Well, he didn't seem the type to wear it on his sleeve. 436 00:27:08,877 --> 00:27:10,712 - I'll check the floor. - Ugh. 437 00:27:17,344 --> 00:27:18,530 Well, it looks like we were right 438 00:27:18,554 --> 00:27:20,681 about stompanato rubbing out lucky Larry. 439 00:27:21,515 --> 00:27:24,101 Same insignia as the knife in lucky Larry's back. 440 00:27:24,226 --> 00:27:26,979 - But who rubbed out stompanato? - Ha! 441 00:27:27,354 --> 00:27:29,022 I think I know the answer to that. 442 00:27:29,523 --> 00:27:31,275 A man after his own heart... 443 00:27:31,692 --> 00:27:33,152 And Lily Rose's ring. 444 00:27:35,946 --> 00:27:37,948 And it appears we're too late on both counts. 445 00:27:39,074 --> 00:27:41,201 Who would have the stones to carve up stompanato? 446 00:27:41,285 --> 00:27:43,787 And what's that wack-a-doo symbol on his face? 447 00:27:43,871 --> 00:27:45,164 They're hieroglyphics. 448 00:27:47,207 --> 00:27:49,042 I believe it's the eye of horus, 449 00:27:49,126 --> 00:27:51,378 a sacred symbol in ancient Egyptian culture. 450 00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:52,921 Sacred eye? 451 00:27:54,256 --> 00:27:55,424 I've heard that before. 452 00:27:56,175 --> 00:27:58,095 I think I know where to find our graffiti artist. 453 00:28:09,396 --> 00:28:10,397 Hmm. 454 00:28:14,776 --> 00:28:16,361 - Salutations. - Bloody hell. 455 00:28:17,404 --> 00:28:18,404 God. 456 00:28:18,864 --> 00:28:20,449 Have you come seeking... 457 00:28:21,325 --> 00:28:22,367 Books? 458 00:28:22,868 --> 00:28:23,868 Yeah. 459 00:28:24,161 --> 00:28:25,954 We have... come... 460 00:28:26,997 --> 00:28:28,957 Seeking books. 461 00:28:31,251 --> 00:28:33,754 I thought you were here for the secret cult ceremony. 462 00:28:34,254 --> 00:28:35,714 Sorry. My friend is new. 463 00:28:35,797 --> 00:28:38,926 We are absolutely here for the secret cult ceremony, 464 00:28:39,343 --> 00:28:41,543 if you wouldn't mind pointing us in the right direction. 465 00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:42,888 Right through that door. 466 00:28:43,597 --> 00:28:45,474 And if you haven't mail-ordered your robes yet, 467 00:28:45,557 --> 00:28:47,726 there's a few extra hanging on the coat rack. 468 00:28:48,352 --> 00:28:49,353 Hmm. 469 00:28:50,437 --> 00:28:51,563 Lovely. 470 00:28:51,647 --> 00:28:52,647 Thank you. 471 00:29:15,295 --> 00:29:18,465 Melvin the magnificent at your service. 472 00:29:18,548 --> 00:29:20,550 What is it with this place? 473 00:29:20,634 --> 00:29:24,805 Board-certified priest, oracle, shaman, and justice of the peace. 474 00:29:25,264 --> 00:29:26,473 How may I assist you? 475 00:29:26,848 --> 00:29:28,475 Lift a curse? Cure a nasty rash? 476 00:29:28,558 --> 00:29:31,979 I got a love spell guaranteed to reel in a dame at 50 paces. 477 00:29:32,104 --> 00:29:34,314 We're looking for something much stronger than that. 478 00:29:34,982 --> 00:29:36,358 Preferably Egyptian. 479 00:29:36,441 --> 00:29:38,652 Possibly involving the removal of a heart. 480 00:29:42,364 --> 00:29:45,784 You seek the ceremony ofanubis. 481 00:29:46,743 --> 00:29:49,871 Yes, we do. We'll take one of those, please. 482 00:29:50,122 --> 00:29:51,123 Very well. 483 00:29:52,291 --> 00:29:53,291 Look over there! 484 00:29:57,963 --> 00:30:00,007 Forjust$12, $12, 485 00:30:00,090 --> 00:30:04,678 our deluxe ceremony of Anubis includes this ceremonial mask, 486 00:30:04,761 --> 00:30:08,140 two acolytes, and a drum made from the skin of a vestal virgin, 487 00:30:08,348 --> 00:30:13,645 a gilded sacrificial dagger and one live chicken. 488 00:30:14,563 --> 00:30:16,833 It never ends well for the chicken. 489 00:30:16,857 --> 00:30:19,359 Or you might prefer... 490 00:30:20,068 --> 00:30:21,361 Our economy package. 491 00:30:23,447 --> 00:30:24,698 Only $6. 492 00:30:25,449 --> 00:30:26,926 And the chicken hawk comes pre-sacrificed 493 00:30:26,950 --> 00:30:27,868 for your convenience. 494 00:30:27,951 --> 00:30:30,179 Not particularly accurate, historically speaking, 495 00:30:30,203 --> 00:30:33,749 but quite, uh, bloody. My old friend tutankhamun would've loved it. 496 00:30:34,291 --> 00:30:37,461 In the modern age, we are taught to fear death. 497 00:30:38,003 --> 00:30:40,464 But the ancients understood that death... 498 00:30:41,214 --> 00:30:42,214 Is power. 499 00:30:45,802 --> 00:30:47,012 Did you feel powerful... 500 00:30:47,888 --> 00:30:50,057 When you were holding Tommy stompanato's heart 501 00:30:50,140 --> 00:30:51,540 in your hands after you killed him? 502 00:30:53,435 --> 00:30:55,437 Somebody killed Tommy stompanato? 503 00:30:57,314 --> 00:31:00,442 You... you can't possibly believe that I had anything to do with that. 504 00:31:00,525 --> 00:31:05,030 - Oh, yeah, we absolutely do. - Yes. Tell us, Melvin the magnificent, 505 00:31:05,739 --> 00:31:07,324 what is it you desire? 506 00:31:09,826 --> 00:31:11,453 - I... - Yes. 507 00:31:11,536 --> 00:31:12,536 Want... 508 00:31:13,205 --> 00:31:14,205 Yeah? 509 00:31:14,498 --> 00:31:16,500 A 1941 Pontiac torpedo. 510 00:31:19,544 --> 00:31:22,172 Eight-cylinder engine, 103 horsepower... 511 00:31:22,255 --> 00:31:25,675 Zero to 40 in under three minutes. And... 512 00:31:26,593 --> 00:31:28,261 - Surprisingly affordable. - Ah. 513 00:31:28,345 --> 00:31:31,014 A few of these, uh, deluxe ceremonies a week, 514 00:31:31,098 --> 00:31:33,725 a couple of, uh, sacred objects here and there, 515 00:31:33,850 --> 00:31:35,811 and I'm cruising the open road by summer. 516 00:31:35,894 --> 00:31:37,312 You killed stompanato, 517 00:31:37,396 --> 00:31:40,399 and then you stole my friend Lilith's very special ring. 518 00:31:40,482 --> 00:31:43,819 So forget the open road. The only place you're going is downtown. 519 00:31:43,902 --> 00:31:45,195 Hold the line there, pal. 520 00:31:45,946 --> 00:31:47,546 Are you talking about the ring of Lilith? 521 00:31:47,572 --> 00:31:49,366 Because my clients, uh, 522 00:31:49,950 --> 00:31:54,162 parishioners, would pay top-dollar for even a slightly passable fake. 523 00:31:54,246 --> 00:31:55,497 We could split the profits. 524 00:31:55,580 --> 00:31:58,500 Objects of immortality are my bestsellers. 525 00:31:58,583 --> 00:32:00,794 Right. Can any of your "parishioners" 526 00:32:00,877 --> 00:32:03,547 account for your whereabouts from noon to 6:00 today? 527 00:32:03,630 --> 00:32:06,883 Well, sure. I was here. I did, uh, four tarot card readings, 528 00:32:07,342 --> 00:32:09,219 uh, an exorcism, mmm, 529 00:32:09,636 --> 00:32:12,305 - and, uh, a bar mitzvah. - Oh. 530 00:32:12,514 --> 00:32:15,225 Tony stompanato's heart was ripped out in an identical manner 531 00:32:15,308 --> 00:32:17,868 to your little chicken scam. So if it wasn't you that killed him, 532 00:32:18,270 --> 00:32:19,980 it had to be one of your customers. 533 00:32:20,063 --> 00:32:22,274 Did you tell any of them about the ring of Lilith? 534 00:32:22,357 --> 00:32:25,360 Well, sure. I've been selling maps to Lilith's tomb for years, 535 00:32:25,444 --> 00:32:29,364 but, uh, I couldn't tell you who bought 'em on account of all the robes. 536 00:32:29,489 --> 00:32:33,535 Well, that was a clucking waste of time. 537 00:32:36,329 --> 00:32:38,874 I'm afraid we've hit a dead end. 538 00:32:39,499 --> 00:32:42,878 Found a few heart puns, had a few laughs, but... 539 00:32:43,003 --> 00:32:45,630 It seems you'll have to live without your ring. 540 00:32:46,965 --> 00:32:51,678 So, why don't I repay my debt some other way? Hmm? 541 00:32:52,304 --> 00:32:54,806 - A castle, a... - Private island, 542 00:32:54,890 --> 00:32:56,641 a mountain of gold? 543 00:32:56,725 --> 00:32:59,811 The world is your oyster and I your concierge. 544 00:33:01,980 --> 00:33:04,107 Thousands of years, Lucifer, 545 00:33:04,608 --> 00:33:07,235 and that ring has always been with me. 546 00:33:08,111 --> 00:33:13,408 It reminds me of who I am, why I've done the things I've done. 547 00:33:14,576 --> 00:33:16,912 You mean, why you sent your children to hell? 548 00:33:17,704 --> 00:33:19,498 I gave you an army. 549 00:33:19,581 --> 00:33:21,833 An army I never asked for. 550 00:33:22,459 --> 00:33:26,004 And... one I didn't know I needed at the time. 551 00:33:27,047 --> 00:33:29,799 But, without them, 552 00:33:29,883 --> 00:33:32,052 I would have spent eternity alone, and... 553 00:33:32,761 --> 00:33:35,472 For that, I shall be forever in your debt. 554 00:33:37,057 --> 00:33:40,685 Which is why I'm truly sorry I couldn't get your ring back. 555 00:33:45,398 --> 00:33:46,608 So am I. 556 00:33:48,193 --> 00:33:54,324 So, how exactly did everyone get the idea 557 00:33:54,407 --> 00:33:57,661 it's the ring that makes you immortal, anyway? Hmm? 558 00:33:58,912 --> 00:34:00,872 Ah... 559 00:34:01,706 --> 00:34:06,878 So, I hitch a ride through the Americas with this explorer, hernan cortes. 560 00:34:07,045 --> 00:34:09,631 Obsessed with gold, rains bloodshed 561 00:34:09,714 --> 00:34:12,050 and terror wherever he goes, a real wet blanket. 562 00:34:12,175 --> 00:34:14,844 I split the second we hit land 563 00:34:14,928 --> 00:34:21,810 and hook up with this strapping aztec warrior, montezuma. 564 00:34:22,060 --> 00:34:27,482 We have a few drinks, he asks if I'm a virgin. 565 00:34:27,732 --> 00:34:31,528 I say yes because that always got the folks in Spain going. 566 00:34:31,987 --> 00:34:32,987 Mm-hmm. 567 00:34:33,029 --> 00:34:36,324 Next thing I know, some priest fellas are throwing me in a volcano. 568 00:34:36,783 --> 00:34:40,745 I survive, and somebody writes it on his stone tablet, 569 00:34:40,829 --> 00:34:42,122 you know how these things start. 570 00:34:42,205 --> 00:34:46,209 I do. Ah, mortals. 571 00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:49,421 Wouldn't mind seeing the look on that thief's face 572 00:34:49,504 --> 00:34:52,757 when they realize that that ring doesn't do a damn thing. 573 00:34:52,924 --> 00:34:54,092 Hold on. 574 00:34:54,968 --> 00:34:57,012 The ring doesn't work, 575 00:34:57,762 --> 00:35:00,765 which means the thief will be looking for a way to make it work. 576 00:35:03,393 --> 00:35:06,646 Lilith, I believe I found a way to get your ring back. 577 00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:11,151 All we need is a high priest, a jeweler, and a distraction. 578 00:35:17,907 --> 00:35:19,993 Thanks to a certain high priest-cum-magic 579 00:35:20,076 --> 00:35:21,244 school freshman I know, 580 00:35:21,328 --> 00:35:22,954 the word is out that your ring only works 581 00:35:23,038 --> 00:35:25,624 when it's attached to this rather gaudy bangle. 582 00:35:25,707 --> 00:35:27,584 So, whoever stole the ring will come back 583 00:35:27,667 --> 00:35:29,711 for this bracelet. 584 00:35:30,253 --> 00:35:33,065 The thief waits till you're on stage and sneaks into your dressing room, 585 00:35:33,089 --> 00:35:34,007 just as before. 586 00:35:34,090 --> 00:35:36,384 Except this time, our pal Jack will be watching. 587 00:35:36,468 --> 00:35:40,138 Jack catches thief, thief gives up ring, and before you know it, 588 00:35:40,221 --> 00:35:42,783 that little piece of Eden will be back on your finger where it belongs. 589 00:35:42,807 --> 00:35:44,517 Mm-hmm. 590 00:35:49,773 --> 00:35:50,774 Hey. 591 00:35:55,570 --> 00:35:57,030 I appreciate you doing this. 592 00:35:57,113 --> 00:35:59,324 Well, your friend Lucifer said you needed me. 593 00:35:59,949 --> 00:36:02,369 But when this is over, I'm taking the bus to des moines. 594 00:36:02,452 --> 00:36:04,204 I'm gonna move back in with my mother. 595 00:36:08,333 --> 00:36:13,713 Okay, so, uh, when Lily gives the cue, you take the bracelet. Okay? 596 00:36:13,797 --> 00:36:17,133 And then I parade it around the club, take it back to the dressing room, 597 00:36:17,509 --> 00:36:18,927 put it in the safe. 598 00:36:19,761 --> 00:36:20,845 Wait. 599 00:36:23,973 --> 00:36:25,433 Just, uh... 600 00:36:26,559 --> 00:36:27,977 Be careful, okay? 601 00:36:30,313 --> 00:36:33,108 I'm gonna need more than that, Jack. 602 00:36:37,028 --> 00:36:39,614 All this time you've spent on earth, 603 00:36:40,532 --> 00:36:43,368 have you ever connected with a human? 604 00:36:44,119 --> 00:36:46,371 Oh, I've connected with thousands of humans. 605 00:36:46,579 --> 00:36:49,708 You know, once, caligula and I made a human train out of 37 hum... 606 00:36:49,791 --> 00:36:52,752 I'm not talking about sex, Lucifer. 607 00:36:54,462 --> 00:36:57,841 I'm talking about an emotional connection. 608 00:36:58,633 --> 00:37:02,345 Oh, absolutely not. 609 00:37:02,429 --> 00:37:05,069 It would take a literal miracle for me to want something like that, 610 00:37:05,098 --> 00:37:08,685 and I'm fairly certain my father is not handing those out anymore. Why? 611 00:37:10,061 --> 00:37:11,479 Just wondering. 612 00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:18,987 Take my wife. Please! 613 00:37:21,740 --> 00:37:25,952 Abe gantz, the funniest man in Manhattan! 614 00:37:30,707 --> 00:37:31,958 By special request, 615 00:37:32,041 --> 00:37:35,503 I'm going to sing a song that's been a favorite of mine for a while. 616 00:37:35,587 --> 00:37:36,587 Ah! 617 00:37:37,714 --> 00:37:39,048 Truth is, I'm... 618 00:37:40,633 --> 00:37:42,886 - Just $1. - Not sure I ever really 619 00:37:42,969 --> 00:37:45,555 understood what it meant until just now. 620 00:37:47,390 --> 00:37:49,017 Oh! 621 00:37:50,018 --> 00:37:51,978 Sorry about that, folks. 622 00:37:52,061 --> 00:37:54,939 Had this old thing for forever, and it always gets in the way. 623 00:37:55,732 --> 00:37:58,985 How about a little costume change before we get started. 624 00:38:02,864 --> 00:38:05,492 Be a doll and put this in my safe, will you? 625 00:38:21,758 --> 00:38:26,888 There's a saying old says that love is blind 626 00:38:27,555 --> 00:38:33,269 still, we 're often told seek and ye shall find 627 00:38:33,603 --> 00:38:37,732 so I'm going to seek a certain lad 628 00:38:37,816 --> 00:38:43,655 I had in mind 629 00:38:45,073 --> 00:38:49,744 lookin' everywhere haven't found him yet 630 00:38:50,537 --> 00:38:56,167 he's the big affairl cannot forget 631 00:38:56,835 --> 00:39:03,007 only lad I ever think of with regret 632 00:39:07,595 --> 00:39:12,684 I'd like to add his initials 633 00:39:12,767 --> 00:39:15,895 to my monogram 634 00:39:17,856 --> 00:39:23,194 tell me where is the Shepherd 635 00:39:23,278 --> 00:39:27,907 for this lost lamb 636 00:39:30,076 --> 00:39:34,831 there's a somebody I'm longing to see 637 00:39:35,373 --> 00:39:41,546 I hope that he turns out to be 638 00:39:42,380 --> 00:39:48,595 Someone who'll watch over me 639 00:39:54,350 --> 00:39:59,439 I'm a little lamb who's lost in the wood 640 00:39:59,522 --> 00:40:05,528 I know I could always be good 641 00:40:06,362 --> 00:40:13,202 to one who'll watch over me 642 00:40:22,170 --> 00:40:25,214 Lucifer morningstar! 643 00:40:30,345 --> 00:40:31,346 Jack! 644 00:40:33,056 --> 00:40:36,476 Thank god, you're okay. There's a man in Lily's dressing room. 645 00:40:37,060 --> 00:40:39,938 I made sure he saw me put the bracelet in the safe, just like you said. 646 00:40:40,730 --> 00:40:42,190 Go, before he gets away! 647 00:40:42,690 --> 00:40:43,942 You're an angel, shirl. 648 00:40:44,484 --> 00:40:45,902 - Go! - Okay. 649 00:40:56,788 --> 00:40:57,872 Hands in the air. 650 00:41:00,583 --> 00:41:03,628 Back up. Back up slowly. 651 00:41:06,297 --> 00:41:07,548 Turn around. 652 00:41:14,055 --> 00:41:16,182 You killed Tommy stompanato? 653 00:41:16,432 --> 00:41:17,684 And I took the ring... 654 00:41:19,519 --> 00:41:25,108 And I performed the ceremony ofanubis to unlock its ancient power. 655 00:41:25,900 --> 00:41:32,699 And now, I am immortal! 656 00:41:34,659 --> 00:41:38,037 Well, the whackadoo that killed Tommy stompanato. 657 00:41:38,121 --> 00:41:39,998 Willy, I didn't think you had it in you. 658 00:41:40,248 --> 00:41:42,834 Larry should've never sold stompanato that ring. 659 00:41:43,209 --> 00:41:45,253 Neither of them even knew what they had. 660 00:41:48,756 --> 00:41:50,842 I knew all about the ring. 661 00:41:51,134 --> 00:41:53,720 I'm the one who hired lucky Larry to steal it. 662 00:41:54,345 --> 00:41:56,347 Now put the gun down and hand it over. 663 00:42:03,479 --> 00:42:05,440 Gertie, how could you? 664 00:42:05,523 --> 00:42:07,525 Because it was my plan. 665 00:42:08,401 --> 00:42:09,736 I tracked down the ring. 666 00:42:10,069 --> 00:42:13,573 I told lucky Larry how and when to steal it. 667 00:42:13,656 --> 00:42:15,342 I even told him he could have everything in the safe 668 00:42:15,366 --> 00:42:16,743 if he just gave me the ring... 669 00:42:17,952 --> 00:42:18,952 And what did he do? 670 00:42:19,662 --> 00:42:23,041 Sold it to some lovesick wise guy who wound up killin' him! 671 00:42:23,124 --> 00:42:24,124 Time out! 672 00:42:24,167 --> 00:42:27,879 So, both gertie and Willy learned about the ring from Melvin the magnificent? 673 00:42:28,296 --> 00:42:29,756 Correct. Mmm. 674 00:42:30,423 --> 00:42:33,718 Gertie hired lucky Larry to steal the ring, but instead, 675 00:42:33,801 --> 00:42:36,345 he betrayed her and sold it to stompanato 676 00:42:36,429 --> 00:42:37,722 for a higher price. 677 00:42:38,014 --> 00:42:40,266 But then stompanato killed Larry out of revenge 678 00:42:40,349 --> 00:42:42,393 for stealing his girl's ring in the first place? 679 00:42:42,477 --> 00:42:45,646 Indeed. But unfortunately for stompanato, 680 00:42:45,730 --> 00:42:48,649 Willy the sausage prince also wanted the ring, 681 00:42:48,733 --> 00:42:51,569 and ripped the mobster's heart out in an all-too-real version 682 00:42:51,652 --> 00:42:55,615 of Melvin the magnificent's fake cult ceremony in order to make it work. 683 00:42:58,159 --> 00:43:01,871 - Forget it, trix. It's Chinatown. - It's what? 684 00:43:02,413 --> 00:43:03,414 Never mind. 685 00:43:03,498 --> 00:43:05,538 Would you like to hear the rest of the story or not? 686 00:43:06,417 --> 00:43:09,837 Now, I don't wanna hurt anyone, but I need to save bill. 687 00:43:09,921 --> 00:43:12,840 Jewelry isn't going to save your husband, gertie. 688 00:43:12,924 --> 00:43:15,343 You're lying! You're lying. 689 00:43:15,843 --> 00:43:17,470 I saw you that night in the alley. 690 00:43:18,054 --> 00:43:19,281 You got caught in the crossfire 691 00:43:19,305 --> 00:43:21,682 between the stompanato boys and the Brooklyn bridge gang. 692 00:43:22,475 --> 00:43:26,771 You got shot half a dozen times and walked away. 693 00:43:26,854 --> 00:43:30,733 I see. But that had nothing to do with a magic ring. 694 00:43:30,983 --> 00:43:32,663 There's no such thing. 695 00:43:32,777 --> 00:43:33,778 That can't be true. 696 00:43:33,903 --> 00:43:37,073 Let's just settle this ring-amarole once and for all, shall we? 697 00:43:37,156 --> 00:43:38,407 What? 698 00:43:42,495 --> 00:43:43,579 You shot me. 699 00:43:43,663 --> 00:43:46,040 - Yes, I did. - I'm bleeding out. 700 00:43:48,709 --> 00:43:52,839 Well, that's a lot of bellyaching for a guy who loves war. 701 00:43:59,053 --> 00:44:00,513 It's not real. 702 00:44:03,975 --> 00:44:04,975 I can't save him. 703 00:44:05,017 --> 00:44:06,602 Of course you can't. 704 00:44:07,478 --> 00:44:11,190 So why risk everything... trying? 705 00:44:12,066 --> 00:44:13,818 Gertie, you could've died. 706 00:44:15,319 --> 00:44:16,779 Let me help you. 707 00:44:18,197 --> 00:44:19,448 We all die, lin. 708 00:44:21,617 --> 00:44:22,952 And that's okay. 709 00:44:25,621 --> 00:44:31,294 The truth is, I'd rather die today trying to save the man I love... 710 00:44:33,754 --> 00:44:35,506 Than live forever without him. 711 00:44:44,682 --> 00:44:46,225 Oh, gertie. 712 00:44:50,021 --> 00:44:51,898 I am too rich to go to jail! 713 00:44:52,356 --> 00:44:55,943 No! You call my father! Call my father! 714 00:44:57,737 --> 00:44:59,864 Call my father! 715 00:45:04,535 --> 00:45:06,287 There's two ways this can go. 716 00:45:08,247 --> 00:45:10,499 Either the sausage prince gets what's coming to him 717 00:45:10,583 --> 00:45:12,585 and we pin stompanato for the rest, 718 00:45:13,169 --> 00:45:17,840 or we get the lady bartender involved. Your call if you wanna press charges. 719 00:45:25,932 --> 00:45:28,517 Let her enjoy whatever time bill has left. 720 00:45:34,982 --> 00:45:37,944 Well, you're an odd duck, but, uh, it's been... 721 00:45:38,945 --> 00:45:40,112 It's been real interesting. 722 00:45:40,321 --> 00:45:41,530 Hmm. 723 00:45:41,614 --> 00:45:43,199 You take care of yourself, kid. 724 00:45:45,451 --> 00:45:47,787 You too, old man. 725 00:45:54,335 --> 00:45:59,215 Hey, shirl, um, so what time's your bus? 726 00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:02,134 Midnight. 727 00:46:05,096 --> 00:46:08,266 Oh, yeah. So, if you hurry, 728 00:46:08,349 --> 00:46:10,017 uh, you can still make it. 729 00:46:13,104 --> 00:46:14,397 Yeah. 730 00:46:20,778 --> 00:46:22,029 Shirl! 731 00:46:28,369 --> 00:46:29,495 I, uh... 732 00:46:30,746 --> 00:46:32,331 I was thinking, if, um... 733 00:46:34,208 --> 00:46:35,710 If it's all right with you, I... 734 00:46:38,754 --> 00:46:39,964 Maybe I could come with you. 735 00:46:42,133 --> 00:46:44,093 It's a long ride to des moines, Jack. 736 00:46:46,429 --> 00:46:47,471 Good. 737 00:46:49,473 --> 00:46:52,435 Give us a chance to talk. 738 00:46:53,352 --> 00:46:54,520 Come here. 739 00:47:04,697 --> 00:47:07,742 So, ring returned, favor repaid. 740 00:47:07,825 --> 00:47:09,160 See you in a few hundred years? 741 00:47:14,165 --> 00:47:15,916 Well, you drive a hard bargain, 742 00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:17,960 but, fine, I'll throw in a castle as well. 743 00:47:18,044 --> 00:47:20,379 I have a lovely 22-bedroom in Austria, 744 00:47:20,463 --> 00:47:21,797 hardly got bombed at all. 745 00:47:22,882 --> 00:47:24,258 I don't want a castle. 746 00:47:24,467 --> 00:47:26,027 Well, now, you're just being difficult. 747 00:47:27,511 --> 00:47:28,679 Cortes... 748 00:47:30,139 --> 00:47:31,432 Montezuma, 749 00:47:31,515 --> 00:47:33,184 Willy the sausage prince... 750 00:47:34,268 --> 00:47:36,270 They all think they want to live forever... 751 00:47:38,147 --> 00:47:41,150 But they already have something so much more precious. 752 00:47:42,860 --> 00:47:44,278 Gertie was right. 753 00:47:46,030 --> 00:47:47,656 It's knowing there's an end... 754 00:47:49,575 --> 00:47:51,535 That's what makes the rest of it count. 755 00:47:52,787 --> 00:47:55,331 That's what connects them to one another. 756 00:47:56,123 --> 00:47:59,418 What makes them brave even when they have no reason to be. 757 00:48:01,504 --> 00:48:03,714 I think I've been immortal long enough. 758 00:48:20,231 --> 00:48:22,066 I want you to have it. 759 00:48:25,319 --> 00:48:27,863 Once you do this, there's no going back. 760 00:48:29,198 --> 00:48:30,533 Are you sure? 761 00:48:32,451 --> 00:48:33,577 Just one thing. 762 00:48:33,661 --> 00:48:35,996 Oh, and it never ends with you, does it? 763 00:48:36,705 --> 00:48:38,749 Although, I suppose it will now. 764 00:48:42,128 --> 00:48:44,797 Would you like me to bring your children up to say goodbye? 765 00:48:46,590 --> 00:48:50,386 And undo everything they've learned in hell? Never. 766 00:48:51,387 --> 00:48:53,097 My children are perfect. 767 00:48:54,098 --> 00:48:58,102 They can't be banished because they have no home. 768 00:48:58,686 --> 00:49:01,730 Can't be abandoned because they have no family. 769 00:49:02,064 --> 00:49:04,733 They'll never be cast out of the proverbial garden. 770 00:49:04,900 --> 00:49:07,361 You can never tell them what I've done today, Lucifer. 771 00:49:09,655 --> 00:49:11,657 Not if they're going to be unbreakable. 772 00:49:12,783 --> 00:49:14,326 Well, you have my word. 773 00:49:15,911 --> 00:49:21,667 Well... I never thought I'd say this, but, enjoy the rest of your life. 774 00:49:28,883 --> 00:49:30,009 Right back at ya. 775 00:49:32,678 --> 00:49:36,056 So hold me and smile, dear 776 00:49:37,391 --> 00:49:41,020 put your lips to mine 777 00:49:41,228 --> 00:49:44,190 forget the past 778 00:49:44,356 --> 00:49:49,278 for this is ours 779 00:49:58,579 --> 00:50:01,248 That ring has Lilith's immortality inside it? 780 00:50:03,292 --> 00:50:05,878 Yes, I suppose it does. 781 00:50:07,338 --> 00:50:11,425 Though, as far as I'm concerned, the only thing special about it is... 782 00:50:13,594 --> 00:50:15,137 It reminds me of an old friend. 783 00:50:17,932 --> 00:50:22,061 So, what happened to Jack and Shirley? Did they live happily ever after? 784 00:50:22,311 --> 00:50:26,232 Well, they moved to des moines, probably not. 785 00:50:28,025 --> 00:50:32,154 My mom says dealing with your problems is the only way to get past them. 786 00:50:33,155 --> 00:50:36,367 I bet Jack and Shirley talked the whole bus ride and fixed everything. 787 00:50:38,035 --> 00:50:40,454 Yes. Yes, perhaps they did. 788 00:50:40,955 --> 00:50:44,833 Right. Story time's over. 789 00:50:54,343 --> 00:50:56,428 Thanks, Lucifer. This was fun. 790 00:50:57,054 --> 00:50:58,722 Oh, don't exaggerate. 791 00:51:07,439 --> 00:51:08,774 You got the story? 792 00:51:17,032 --> 00:51:18,742 I taught you well, kid. 793 00:51:23,080 --> 00:51:26,083 Once upon a time, the devil went to New York City. 794 00:51:26,750 --> 00:51:28,794 The year was 1946... 795 00:52:12,212 --> 00:52:13,714 Are you Lily Rose? 796 00:52:17,468 --> 00:52:18,719 Who wants to know? 797 00:52:20,721 --> 00:52:23,599 It's me, mazikeen. 798 00:52:26,727 --> 00:52:30,689 Lucifer told you that I was here, didn't he? 799 00:52:32,107 --> 00:52:35,569 You'd think the devil would be better at keeping his trap shut. 800 00:52:35,653 --> 00:52:38,447 No, no. I found you all on my own. 801 00:52:38,530 --> 00:52:41,825 Have you been here all this time? 802 00:52:42,451 --> 00:52:45,204 I gave something a shot. It didn't work out. 803 00:52:46,163 --> 00:52:49,124 That's it? That's all you have to say to me? 804 00:52:50,459 --> 00:52:51,710 What do you want from me? 805 00:52:53,545 --> 00:52:55,381 I wanted to come and see you. 806 00:53:00,010 --> 00:53:02,304 I wanted to know why you abandoned us. 807 00:53:04,348 --> 00:53:05,808 Why you abandoned me. 808 00:53:07,601 --> 00:53:10,354 I did it to make you strong. And it worked. 809 00:53:10,979 --> 00:53:13,107 Just look at you. 810 00:53:14,149 --> 00:53:17,653 I can see you don't need anyone. 811 00:53:24,284 --> 00:53:25,452 Yeah. 812 00:53:26,745 --> 00:53:27,913 Look at me. 57139

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