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1
00:00:02,402 --> 00:00:04,492
? Oh, I love you back, you know ?
2
00:00:04,494 --> 00:00:06,931
- ? Let's take it back, hey ?
- ? Let's take it back, hey ?
3
00:00:06,958 --> 00:00:09,161
? I didn't have a chance,
I was walking with my bag ?
4
00:00:09,162 --> 00:00:10,965
? Down the street to
Harrison Ave, summer's over ?
5
00:00:10,966 --> 00:00:13,237
? Back to class, way before I had a sedan ?
6
00:00:13,238 --> 00:00:15,241
? Hit the bus stop
and then glanced at the kids ?
7
00:00:15,242 --> 00:00:17,177
? And then bam, I saw Brittany
for the first time ?
8
00:00:17,178 --> 00:00:19,637
? I was in a trance,
"Who the hell was this?" ?
9
00:00:19,639 --> 00:00:21,786
? New chick I never met,
was friends with girls ?
10
00:00:21,787 --> 00:00:24,024
? But I hadn't really been
attracted to nobody yet ?
11
00:00:24,025 --> 00:00:25,294
? But eighth grade was going crazy ?
12
00:00:25,295 --> 00:00:26,608
? This bitch was so amazing ?
13
00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:28,480
? Walked up and said, "Hi, I'm Dave" ?
14
00:00:28,495 --> 00:00:30,130
- ? And then shit changed ?
- ? Whoa ?
15
00:00:30,138 --> 00:00:32,008
? She told me she just moved into town ?
16
00:00:32,009 --> 00:00:33,711
? I knew it, no doubt, I loved this girl ?
17
00:00:33,713 --> 00:00:35,515
? Inside and out,
her beautiful smile, her hair ?
18
00:00:35,516 --> 00:00:37,685
? And her style were driving me wild ?
19
00:00:37,686 --> 00:00:39,991
? We sat together on the bus,
we sat together every lunch ?
20
00:00:39,992 --> 00:00:41,861
? She had me switching up
the polos and ditching yo-yos ?
21
00:00:41,862 --> 00:00:43,932
? I went from moving solo dolo ?
22
00:00:43,933 --> 00:00:46,805
? To being so O-B-S-E-double-S-E-D ?
23
00:00:46,806 --> 00:00:48,073
? Thought about her constantly ?
24
00:00:48,074 --> 00:00:49,744
? On Kazaa burning her CDs ?
25
00:00:49,745 --> 00:00:51,013
? 'Cause I saw her and she saw me ?
26
00:00:51,014 --> 00:00:52,482
? But back then I was gross ?
27
00:00:52,483 --> 00:00:53,908
? I'd do the most for a joke ?
28
00:00:53,910 --> 00:00:56,490
? I'd show my asshole to girls,
and I just really wasn't ?
29
00:00:56,491 --> 00:00:58,060
? The brand of guy
that would get the girls ?
30
00:00:58,061 --> 00:01:00,064
? I had no facial hair, just curls ?
31
00:01:00,065 --> 00:01:01,600
? And all my friends
had kissed a girl, except me ?
32
00:01:01,602 --> 00:01:03,505
? And I just wanted
to be realistic about it ?
33
00:01:03,506 --> 00:01:04,819
? I didn't want to mess the whole thing up ?
34
00:01:04,821 --> 00:01:06,292
? And I just loved being
around her, so I took ?
35
00:01:06,294 --> 00:01:08,198
? The best friend route,
that shit was so fun ?
36
00:01:08,351 --> 00:01:10,488
? I don't care what any of you
guys say, the hottest girl ?
37
00:01:10,489 --> 00:01:12,525
? I ever met tickling my arm,
going to the mall with her ?
38
00:01:12,526 --> 00:01:14,563
? Chatting on AOL all night,
we talked about plenty things ?
39
00:01:14,564 --> 00:01:16,232
? Everything we could,
how her parents treated her ?
40
00:01:16,626 --> 00:01:17,995
? And how she felt misunderstood ?
41
00:01:18,086 --> 00:01:19,339
? She would tell me shit on AIM ?
42
00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:21,175
? In person that she never could ?
43
00:01:21,176 --> 00:01:23,179
? I talked her through it, I took a ton ?
44
00:01:23,180 --> 00:01:25,083
? Of pride up in the fact
that I made her feel good ?
45
00:01:25,084 --> 00:01:26,320
? Started hanging out up in the basements ?
46
00:01:26,321 --> 00:01:28,022
? Playing spin the bottle ?
47
00:01:28,023 --> 00:01:29,295
? Watching her turn land on Jason ?
48
00:01:29,297 --> 00:01:31,296
? I closed my eyes, until
we played the nervous game ?
49
00:01:31,297 --> 00:01:32,999
? Where I would place my hand ?
50
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:34,388
? Up on her breast over her bra ?
51
00:01:34,390 --> 00:01:36,785
? That was incredible, that was raw ?
? I jerked off to that all fall ?
52
00:01:36,810 --> 00:01:38,192
? Winter snow days watching... ?
53
00:01:38,547 --> 00:01:40,383
- Cut, cut! Cut, cut!
- Dave, we're already behind.
54
00:01:40,384 --> 00:01:41,986
- Cut, cut, cut.
- Let's get ready to go again please.
55
00:01:41,987 --> 00:01:43,288
- Right away, everybody!
- Okay, right now,
56
00:01:43,289 --> 00:01:45,560
you're making this super lowbrow face
when you're grabbing her breasts.
57
00:01:45,561 --> 00:01:47,330
Opposite energy. It's emotional.
58
00:01:47,331 --> 00:01:48,751
This is the love of your life,
not some little slut.
59
00:01:48,753 --> 00:01:50,235
You guys are doing really great.
60
00:01:50,236 --> 00:01:51,796
We're just looking for some
levels. Like, the in tension...
61
00:01:51,798 --> 00:01:53,738
Guys, please, please, I got
to talk to you for a second.
62
00:01:53,740 --> 00:01:55,380
- Play it cool. Cool.
- So, like, cooler, right?
63
00:01:55,381 --> 00:01:59,215
Not "cool." Not cool in that way.
64
00:01:59,217 --> 00:02:00,819
- These kids fucking suck.
- I know. It's like...
65
00:02:00,820 --> 00:02:03,589
the talent pool in Philadelphia
is fucking atrocious.
66
00:02:03,591 --> 00:02:05,026
That's what I told you.
That's exactly what I said.
67
00:02:05,027 --> 00:02:06,296
- Well...
- But you wanted to shoot here.
68
00:02:06,297 --> 00:02:07,631
You wanted to make it real, so...
69
00:02:07,633 --> 00:02:09,102
It's my parents' house,
where all this shit happened...
70
00:02:09,103 --> 00:02:10,806
Dave, Dave, Dave. I need to speak to you,
71
00:02:10,807 --> 00:02:12,141
'cause it's actually... it's kind of urgent.
72
00:02:12,142 --> 00:02:13,845
Look, here's the deal.
73
00:02:13,846 --> 00:02:15,147
Eighth-grade Dave hasn't
logged enough school hours,
74
00:02:15,148 --> 00:02:16,783
which means he's gonna get pumpkined,
75
00:02:16,784 --> 00:02:18,922
which means I have
to pull him for two hours.
76
00:02:18,923 --> 00:02:20,892
We can't be in this scene in two more hours.
77
00:02:20,893 --> 00:02:22,528
- We're already two hours behind.
- I understand. I understand.
78
00:02:22,529 --> 00:02:23,631
But in order to get all the Daves together
79
00:02:24,030 --> 00:02:25,131
for the Evolution of Man scene,
80
00:02:25,133 --> 00:02:26,635
I had to stagger their schooling.
81
00:02:26,637 --> 00:02:28,640
- You understand? So he's...
- So what's the solution?
82
00:02:28,641 --> 00:02:29,909
- What's the solution?
- Well, the only thing I can think of
83
00:02:29,910 --> 00:02:31,479
is that we have Toddler Dave.
84
00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:33,483
He's available to work
right now. Wait, copy that...
85
00:02:33,484 --> 00:02:35,354
- Toddler Dave?
- Steph, can you cover for me, please?
86
00:02:35,355 --> 00:02:36,656
It's a spin the bottle scene.
Like-like, you can't have, like,
87
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:38,125
an eighth grader get fondled by toddler.
88
00:02:38,126 --> 00:02:39,420
You said you wanted abstract.
89
00:02:39,422 --> 00:02:40,875
Can we have the intimacy
coordinator over here, please?
90
00:02:40,877 --> 00:02:42,206
- No, that's not the...
- We need to know if a toddler
91
00:02:42,208 --> 00:02:43,712
can touch our eighth grader's breasts.
92
00:02:43,714 --> 00:02:45,377
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Please, like,
we're just spit balling here.
93
00:02:45,379 --> 00:02:47,555
- Let us have a conversation.
- Copy. 86 on the intimacy coordinator.
94
00:02:47,582 --> 00:02:49,028
- They're just spit balling.
- You got to realize, like,
95
00:02:49,030 --> 00:02:50,766
the reason I'm making this video
right now is to engage
96
00:02:50,768 --> 00:02:52,337
a female fan base that I don't
even currently have.
97
00:02:52,590 --> 00:02:54,258
Like, ticket sales on this tour
are not going well.
98
00:02:54,260 --> 00:02:55,663
Look at my fan base right now.
It's all dudes.
99
00:02:55,664 --> 00:02:57,300
Hi, guys. Good to see you.
100
00:02:57,301 --> 00:02:59,136
And I certainly, like, I love these people,
101
00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:01,554
but it's like we're not even
tapping into half the world.
102
00:03:01,556 --> 00:03:03,909
So people need to see
my sensitivity at some point.
103
00:03:03,911 --> 00:03:05,346
Yeah, and they're not gonna see anything
104
00:03:05,347 --> 00:03:06,449
if you don't finish the video today.
105
00:03:06,450 --> 00:03:07,621
We leave Philly tomorrow, so...
106
00:03:07,623 --> 00:03:09,689
- figure it out, Dave.
- I know. I'm working on it.
107
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:11,726
But, like, I assume
our female director has a P. O. V.
108
00:03:11,727 --> 00:03:13,563
On not wanting
the main character of the video
109
00:03:13,564 --> 00:03:15,166
- to act like a fucking animal, you know?
- Oh, my God.
110
00:03:15,167 --> 00:03:16,202
Guys, you're both right.
111
00:03:16,204 --> 00:03:17,700
We can cut around the face and move on.
112
00:03:17,702 --> 00:03:19,064
- Cut around the face?
- Great. Yes.
113
00:03:19,066 --> 00:03:20,467
- Mm-hmm?
- Emma, good call. Let's move on.
114
00:03:20,469 --> 00:03:22,172
Okay. I got to go to playback
to understand...
115
00:03:22,174 --> 00:03:23,816
- Dave's walking to playback.
- Cut around the face?
116
00:03:23,818 --> 00:03:25,536
Dave, if we don't move on,
we're gonna lose the light for the bus stop.
117
00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:27,257
Emma, it's my romantic origin story.
118
00:03:27,259 --> 00:03:28,562
They have to see the love,
119
00:03:28,563 --> 00:03:29,931
the heartbreak, all that, you know?
120
00:03:29,932 --> 00:03:31,433
If you didn't know Batman's origin story,
121
00:03:31,434 --> 00:03:32,469
he'd be just a guy who, like, beats...
122
00:03:32,470 --> 00:03:33,739
Can I see playback on that?
123
00:03:33,740 --> 00:03:35,007
Ready to do a test on the cum rig?
124
00:03:35,008 --> 00:03:36,845
Not now, John. Play it back, Lonny?
125
00:03:37,246 --> 00:03:39,082
John, John, John, that's for
the coming the pants scene?
126
00:03:39,083 --> 00:03:40,952
- Yeah.
- Why is it a boner?
127
00:03:40,953 --> 00:03:42,701
Like, I was totally soft when I came.
128
00:03:42,703 --> 00:03:44,503
Totally soft? Like, no blood at all?
129
00:03:44,505 --> 00:03:47,265
Yeah, exactly. Like, people have seen scenes
where guys cum their pants.
130
00:03:47,266 --> 00:03:48,935
This is trauma because I came soft.
131
00:03:49,377 --> 00:03:50,903
I mean, I essentially pissed cum.
132
00:03:50,905 --> 00:03:52,598
Maybe I can hollow this out.
It'll hang soft...
133
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:53,903
- Just watch playback.
- I don't need, like, an indentation.
134
00:03:53,905 --> 00:03:55,573
I used to call my dick a "life crouton."
135
00:03:55,575 --> 00:03:56,977
- I was jerking off to TRL...
- David?
136
00:03:56,979 --> 00:03:58,581
David, can I see you for a second, please?
137
00:03:58,583 --> 00:04:00,525
There's blue tape all
over the living room walls.
138
00:04:00,527 --> 00:04:02,760
I never said you could use tape on my walls.
139
00:04:02,762 --> 00:04:04,179
Okay, it's designed to come off.
140
00:04:04,181 --> 00:04:05,883
- Your house is gonna be fine.
- These fucking hearing aids.
141
00:04:05,885 --> 00:04:07,254
We just repainted.
142
00:04:07,419 --> 00:04:09,288
Those walls are smooth as lacquer.
143
00:04:09,388 --> 00:04:11,258
- Okay. It's gonna be okay.
- Did she say lacquer?
144
00:04:11,260 --> 00:04:13,566
- Huh?
- Is there lacquer?
145
00:04:14,352 --> 00:04:15,686
I don't know.
146
00:04:15,688 --> 00:04:17,047
Can I see playback?
147
00:04:17,426 --> 00:04:18,660
? Hanging out up in the basements ?
148
00:04:18,661 --> 00:04:21,466
? Playing spin the bottle ?
? Watching her turn land on Jason... ?
149
00:04:21,467 --> 00:04:22,739
That's funny.
150
00:04:23,004 --> 00:04:24,772
Well, it's not supposed to be,
so that's a failure.
151
00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:26,201
- Oh...
- 'Cause... I'm serious.
152
00:04:26,310 --> 00:04:27,578
It's like, this sucks.
153
00:04:27,579 --> 00:04:28,680
These kids are never gonna be able
154
00:04:28,681 --> 00:04:30,317
to inhabit my actual head space.
155
00:04:30,318 --> 00:04:32,188
I wish I could be in this video.
156
00:04:32,189 --> 00:04:34,926
Yeah, well, it's too bad that no
one wants to see a 30-year-old
157
00:04:34,927 --> 00:04:37,198
- grope an eighth grader, so new plan.
- I get it!
158
00:04:37,199 --> 00:04:38,967
I totally get it.
We're hamstrung to these kids.
159
00:04:38,968 --> 00:04:40,637
So at this point, it's like,
what generation of Dave
160
00:04:40,638 --> 00:04:43,210
actually has the most
sensitivity, of all our actors?
161
00:04:43,211 --> 00:04:45,948
For me, it's that guy Helhim.
Can we get Helhim out here?
162
00:04:45,949 --> 00:04:47,685
- He at least can be directed.
- Who's Helhim?
163
00:04:47,686 --> 00:04:49,388
Helhim. Uh, I don't know.
164
00:04:49,389 --> 00:04:51,226
Young Dave, one of them. Like, Helhim.
165
00:04:51,227 --> 00:04:53,196
He had a name tag that said...
I might be pronouncing it wrong.
166
00:04:53,197 --> 00:04:54,699
He/him. His pronouns.
167
00:04:54,700 --> 00:04:56,403
Andrew's pronouns.
168
00:04:56,404 --> 00:04:58,106
Oh, Andrew's in hair and makeup.
169
00:04:58,107 --> 00:04:59,942
Okay, well,
he responds to "Helhim," F. Y. I.,
170
00:04:59,943 --> 00:05:02,515
so he's sensitive to something. God.
171
00:05:02,516 --> 00:05:04,652
Oh, hey, guys,
I've been meaning to tell you,
172
00:05:04,653 --> 00:05:06,256
y-you've been hacked.
173
00:05:06,257 --> 00:05:07,691
What the fuck are you talking about, Don?
174
00:05:07,692 --> 00:05:10,364
The-the website on your bus, Dave.com?
175
00:05:10,365 --> 00:05:11,699
It-it goes to a banking site.
176
00:05:11,700 --> 00:05:13,970
No. No, no, that's our sponsor for tour.
177
00:05:13,971 --> 00:05:16,074
It's, like, a banking app.
You can request an advance.
178
00:05:16,075 --> 00:05:18,034
Hey, I got to be in that video, LD.
179
00:05:18,036 --> 00:05:19,182
I could be a young jock.
180
00:05:19,183 --> 00:05:21,352
Gata, you look 45. Where's this kid? Hey.
181
00:05:21,353 --> 00:05:23,390
Hey. I need you to take on a bigger role
182
00:05:23,391 --> 00:05:25,059
than you might have been expecting to, okay?
183
00:05:25,060 --> 00:05:27,298
The key is you got to play
this sweet and sensitive,
184
00:05:27,299 --> 00:05:28,967
- and it's...
- Dude, put me in anything.
185
00:05:28,968 --> 00:05:30,404
I'm literally gonna slay so much oxtail
186
00:05:30,405 --> 00:05:32,108
when this video comes out.
187
00:05:32,109 --> 00:05:33,977
You're drenching me.
188
00:05:33,978 --> 00:05:35,647
- In-in pussy.
- Right.
189
00:05:35,648 --> 00:05:37,384
Right. Roger.
190
00:05:37,385 --> 00:05:39,188
Roger, that kid will not work.
He's an actual ape.
191
00:05:39,189 --> 00:05:41,359
- Like, I need different options.
- Okay. Brittany's here.
192
00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:42,612
Which Brittany? Which generation?
193
00:05:42,614 --> 00:05:44,093
Brittany Brittany.
The one the video's about.
194
00:05:44,166 --> 00:05:45,701
- Brittany Parker?
- Right. Yeah.
195
00:05:45,702 --> 00:05:47,003
What the fuck? Brittany Parker's here?
196
00:05:47,004 --> 00:05:48,306
Oh! Invite her in.
197
00:05:48,307 --> 00:05:49,775
- It's been years.
- She's outside right now?
198
00:05:49,776 --> 00:05:51,446
Yeah. She's out there right now.
199
00:05:51,447 --> 00:05:53,254
How did she even find out
I was here? Oh, my God.
200
00:05:53,256 --> 00:05:54,959
- I didn't text her...
- Dave, how did she find out you were here?
201
00:05:55,168 --> 00:05:56,903
You are sitting on Harrison Avenue
202
00:05:56,991 --> 00:05:58,760
shooting a music video
with your pink tour bus
203
00:05:58,761 --> 00:06:00,397
parked outside
with your big-ass face on the side.
204
00:06:00,398 --> 00:06:02,234
And nobody cares, uh, about Brittany Parker.
205
00:06:02,235 --> 00:06:04,743
Dave, we need to make decisions right now.
We were talking before.
206
00:06:04,745 --> 00:06:06,578
Are we gonna have to
cut the spin the bottle scene?
207
00:06:06,580 --> 00:06:08,313
All right, then, we got to
figure out which Dave you like
208
00:06:08,314 --> 00:06:09,822
because I got to get him to wardrobe.
209
00:06:09,824 --> 00:06:11,694
Guys, nobody right now should believe
210
00:06:11,802 --> 00:06:13,971
in this Dave, because he's
so whipped by this woman, dawg.
211
00:06:14,359 --> 00:06:16,229
I'm not whipped anymore.
I'm not in eighth grade, okay?
212
00:06:16,230 --> 00:06:18,200
There's a crowd of people
outside trying to meet me.
213
00:06:18,201 --> 00:06:19,502
- Are you crying? Are you crying?
- I'm un-whippable.
214
00:06:19,503 --> 00:06:21,032
So stop putting me in that fucking...
215
00:06:21,034 --> 00:06:22,435
Is this the girl that broke his heart?
216
00:06:22,437 --> 00:06:24,073
Hey, is that the one this video about, bro?
217
00:06:24,075 --> 00:06:25,777
- She broke your heart?
- Bro. Broke his heart?
218
00:06:25,779 --> 00:06:27,815
Broke him in half, dawg.
This nigga so whipped.
219
00:06:27,841 --> 00:06:29,410
I got to figure out
what to do with these guys.
220
00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:31,226
- Dave, make a decision.
- Look, at him, look at him.
221
00:06:32,929 --> 00:06:34,499
His dick was green or something, bro.
222
00:06:34,500 --> 00:06:36,302
- Just let him go or...?
- No, no, don't let him go.
223
00:06:36,303 --> 00:06:38,056
Don't make any decisions. I need
one minute to talk to her.
224
00:06:38,058 --> 00:06:39,442
- Dave, Dave...
- Shut the fuck up!
225
00:06:39,443 --> 00:06:41,614
- Leave her outside, bro.
- Damn, dude.
226
00:06:43,551 --> 00:06:45,087
This is school?
227
00:06:45,088 --> 00:06:46,656
- Hi. Hey.
- He literally is one
228
00:06:46,657 --> 00:06:48,527
of my oldest friends.
This is so over dramatic.
229
00:06:48,528 --> 00:06:50,497
Yeah, no, she's with me.
We're good, Cliff. Thank you.
230
00:06:50,498 --> 00:06:52,234
- Hey, I'm just doing my job, baby.
- Jesus Christ.
231
00:06:52,235 --> 00:06:54,105
Am I allowed to see you now, Mr. Hollywood?
232
00:06:54,106 --> 00:06:55,541
Oh, yeah, I'm not being Hollywood at all.
233
00:06:55,542 --> 00:06:57,011
- I had no idea that you were...
- You're not?
234
00:06:57,012 --> 00:06:58,580
- No, I'm not.
- This is my day off.
235
00:06:58,581 --> 00:07:00,284
I don't want to spend it in line
like a fucking groupie.
236
00:07:00,285 --> 00:07:02,221
Totally understood.
Like, my phone wasn't on me
237
00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:03,723
- and I'm really busy and...
- Listen, I'm just giving you shit.
238
00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:06,396
Just relax. Come here.
239
00:07:06,397 --> 00:07:08,201
Yeah.
240
00:07:09,103 --> 00:07:11,606
- Hi, Boobie.
- Hey, Boobie. How you doing?
241
00:07:11,607 --> 00:07:14,079
But seriously, why didn't you
tell me you were in town?
242
00:07:15,181 --> 00:07:16,649
Because I knew that this music video
243
00:07:16,650 --> 00:07:18,520
would take up
every single minute of my time,
244
00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:20,457
and I just didn't want to have,
like, a false expectation.
245
00:07:20,458 --> 00:07:22,361
Whatever. What is this video even about?
246
00:07:22,362 --> 00:07:24,732
Uh, like, a period piece.
247
00:07:24,733 --> 00:07:26,669
- Uh-huh.
- First and foremost. 2004.
248
00:07:26,670 --> 00:07:28,206
Uh, young love.
My perspective on young love.
249
00:07:28,207 --> 00:07:30,077
- Stop.
- What?
250
00:07:30,078 --> 00:07:31,446
'04?
251
00:07:31,447 --> 00:07:32,949
Yeah.
252
00:07:33,751 --> 00:07:35,221
It's about us?
253
00:07:36,390 --> 00:07:38,360
Yeah. But I should probably get back inside,
254
00:07:38,361 --> 00:07:40,597
'cause this whole fucking
video's going haywire right now.
255
00:07:40,598 --> 00:07:42,701
"I should probably go back
inside 'cause the whole video's
256
00:07:42,702 --> 00:07:44,338
"going fucking haywire right now."
257
00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:46,776
If the video's about us, where's my cameo?
258
00:07:46,777 --> 00:07:48,981
Well, it's, like, kids.
259
00:07:50,685 --> 00:07:53,223
But... yeah.
260
00:07:53,224 --> 00:07:55,160
Want to be in it?
261
00:07:55,161 --> 00:07:57,131
- Fuck yeah.
- Want to work on your off day, sweetheart?
262
00:07:57,132 --> 00:07:59,569
Let's go. I'll put
you in the video. That's easy.
263
00:07:59,570 --> 00:08:01,974
Hey, we got a whole new plan, okay?
264
00:08:06,645 --> 00:08:10,757
? I love you back, you know ?
265
00:08:10,758 --> 00:08:13,196
? With all your tenderness ?
266
00:08:13,197 --> 00:08:15,234
? High school, next year, this a problem ?
267
00:08:15,235 --> 00:08:18,240
? Sophomores, juniors, seniors,
everybody saw her ?
268
00:08:18,241 --> 00:08:20,310
? I remember browsing Blockbuster with her ?
269
00:08:20,311 --> 00:08:22,615
? When this senior cocksucker
told her she looked beautiful ?
270
00:08:22,616 --> 00:08:24,418
? She blushed, she was popular ?
271
00:08:24,419 --> 00:08:26,155
? I just stood to the side and waited ?
272
00:08:26,156 --> 00:08:27,386
? Obviously, they started dating ?
273
00:08:27,388 --> 00:08:29,695
? Harrison Ave just wasn't
the same without her ?
274
00:08:29,696 --> 00:08:31,107
? The bus stop, he drove her to school ?
275
00:08:31,109 --> 00:08:33,078
? In a car with rims and real big bass ?
276
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:35,651
- ? Hated this guy, hated... ?
- This way.
277
00:08:35,715 --> 00:08:37,718
Dave, it's fine. Just keep going.
278
00:08:39,216 --> 00:08:41,252
Okay, back to places!
279
00:08:41,253 --> 00:08:43,223
- Getting ready to shoot.
- Okay!
280
00:08:43,224 --> 00:08:45,745
Here's where the senior
with the cool car's gonna be.
281
00:08:45,747 --> 00:08:48,066
Okay, I need all of this
cleared. Cut on rehearsal.
282
00:08:48,067 --> 00:08:50,104
Yes! Boobie, you are a natural at this.
283
00:08:50,105 --> 00:08:51,539
- You're awesome.
- Wow.
284
00:08:51,540 --> 00:08:53,343
- You remembered everything.
- I did.
285
00:08:53,344 --> 00:08:55,481
God, you were, like, obsessed.
286
00:08:55,482 --> 00:08:57,318
Lil Dicky, I am such a huge fan.
287
00:08:57,319 --> 00:08:58,653
- Aww, thank you.
- Ew, stop.
288
00:08:58,654 --> 00:09:00,391
You know he has a purple dick, right?
289
00:09:00,392 --> 00:09:02,571
- I don't have a purple dick.
- Maroon. Whatever.
290
00:09:02,573 --> 00:09:04,465
Hey. Can we have a video now
or do we have a video
291
00:09:04,466 --> 00:09:06,169
now that Uncle Dave's
in front of the camera?
292
00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:08,407
Am I R or W? I knew it was right
to put her in the video.
293
00:09:08,408 --> 00:09:10,210
Now I can be in it.
She's amazing. This is great.
294
00:09:10,211 --> 00:09:11,513
What's amazing is how she bullied you
295
00:09:11,514 --> 00:09:13,216
into being the star of your video.
296
00:09:13,217 --> 00:09:14,619
That's not at all what happened.
I'm actually just, like,
297
00:09:14,620 --> 00:09:16,156
placating her to get exactly what we need.
298
00:09:16,157 --> 00:09:17,893
- Whatever you say.
- Where is playback here?
299
00:09:17,894 --> 00:09:19,228
Don't worry about it.
Keep doing what you're doing,
300
00:09:19,229 --> 00:09:21,433
'cause it's way better with you in it.
You guys have great chemistry.
301
00:09:21,434 --> 00:09:22,985
Yeah.
302
00:09:22,987 --> 00:09:24,672
You know, "whipped" is, like,
a racially backed term,
303
00:09:24,673 --> 00:09:26,676
- so just keep that in mind.
- Sorry, Master.
304
00:09:26,677 --> 00:09:28,480
Hey, show me the next shot
that you're setting up.
305
00:09:28,481 --> 00:09:30,050
Way ahead of you. Can I get
A-cam to frame up, please?
306
00:09:30,051 --> 00:09:32,021
So I thought it would be good to come in
307
00:09:32,022 --> 00:09:33,590
on Brittany's perspective.
308
00:09:33,591 --> 00:09:35,294
Brittany's perspective?
Never from her perspective.
309
00:09:35,295 --> 00:09:36,964
- No, it's like a...
- Well, the way I see it is,
310
00:09:36,965 --> 00:09:38,266
- if you see it from her...
- No, no. Okay, wait.
311
00:09:38,267 --> 00:09:39,937
What if we came down from my feet,
312
00:09:39,938 --> 00:09:42,475
and it goes up like this:
classic hero shot, okay?
313
00:09:42,476 --> 00:09:44,178
And then, when that guy she starts dating...
314
00:09:44,179 --> 00:09:45,614
The older dude with the car...
Comes, it's like,
315
00:09:45,615 --> 00:09:47,551
we flip it and we make it underdog mode.
316
00:09:47,552 --> 00:09:49,990
- Where is, like, the guy?
- Uh, stand by. One second, there.
317
00:09:49,991 --> 00:09:51,192
Uh, pulling up in that car right now.
318
00:09:51,193 --> 00:09:52,595
- That's him?
- Yeah, that's him.
319
00:09:52,596 --> 00:09:54,432
Okay, I'm just gonna give him a few notes.
320
00:09:54,433 --> 00:09:55,935
No, no, Dave, where are you
going? Where are you going?
321
00:09:55,936 --> 00:09:57,471
We got to keep shooting, guys! Let's go!
322
00:09:57,472 --> 00:09:59,642
Hey, man. So here's the back story.
323
00:09:59,643 --> 00:10:01,312
I'm in love with this girl,
324
00:10:01,313 --> 00:10:03,216
you're the older guy who starts dating her.
325
00:10:03,217 --> 00:10:04,953
Um...
326
00:10:04,954 --> 00:10:06,423
You said there was something
on the props truck
327
00:10:06,424 --> 00:10:08,126
that I had to look at, right?
328
00:10:08,127 --> 00:10:10,564
So I will be right back
and we'll th... Yeah.
329
00:10:10,565 --> 00:10:12,067
Who the fuck is that guy?
330
00:10:12,068 --> 00:10:13,370
That's the guy you cast to play Matt.
331
00:10:13,371 --> 00:10:15,007
That's the... Brittany's older lover.
332
00:10:15,008 --> 00:10:16,443
I didn't cast that guy.
That's a seven-foot man.
333
00:10:16,444 --> 00:10:18,380
- You picked him.
- Yeah, yeah, we cast him.
334
00:10:18,381 --> 00:10:20,083
I didn't know he was the Jolly Green Giant.
335
00:10:20,084 --> 00:10:22,054
I just... We... He just... Sorry.
336
00:10:22,055 --> 00:10:24,392
He's a legit seven-footer.
Like, I don't understand.
337
00:10:24,393 --> 00:10:26,229
- His audition was chest-up. You got to...
- It's almost at his neck.
338
00:10:26,230 --> 00:10:27,731
The eye lines are
gonna be all over the place.
339
00:10:27,732 --> 00:10:28,968
- It's gonna look weird as fuck.
- Yeah, no shit.
340
00:10:28,969 --> 00:10:30,437
Okay, okay. I tell you what.
341
00:10:30,438 --> 00:10:32,041
We could put him in, like,
a green screen suit.
342
00:10:32,042 --> 00:10:33,310
A green screen suit? What's that gonna do?
343
00:10:33,311 --> 00:10:34,980
I don't need to make him disappear
344
00:10:34,981 --> 00:10:36,382
- or, like, turn into a fucking alien.
- Okay.
345
00:10:36,383 --> 00:10:37,767
I need a human being to play this girl's...
346
00:10:37,769 --> 00:10:39,003
- We got to shoot...
- Can we upgrade an extra, maybe?
347
00:10:39,005 --> 00:10:40,091
- Like, I don't know.
- Yeah.
348
00:10:40,093 --> 00:10:42,096
Like, that fucking piece
of shit kid with the hair?
349
00:10:42,097 --> 00:10:43,865
- Like, he looks kind of...
- Oh, yeah, he looks like a piece of shit.
350
00:10:43,866 --> 00:10:45,336
- He's perfect. We got to keep this going.
- Okay, hold on.
351
00:10:45,337 --> 00:10:47,473
Hey, Steph, Steph. Go prep the guy
with the-the hat, please.
352
00:10:47,474 --> 00:10:48,475
Then you can go release our Matt.
353
00:10:48,476 --> 00:10:49,744
Go ahead and release Matt.
354
00:10:49,745 --> 00:10:51,314
No, don't release the seven-foot guy.
355
00:10:51,315 --> 00:10:52,760
No, no, no. He's, like, a funny visual.
356
00:10:52,762 --> 00:10:53,785
We'll have him sneeze,
or do something interesting.
357
00:10:53,786 --> 00:10:55,422
Bending over is funny.
358
00:10:55,423 --> 00:10:57,360
I thought you didn't want
the video to be funny.
359
00:10:57,361 --> 00:10:59,130
- Emma, it can have moments of comedy.
- Actually, question.
360
00:10:59,131 --> 00:11:00,599
Should we release the
Young Daves and Brittanys now
361
00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:01,835
at this point,
or-or do you want to hold on...
362
00:11:01,836 --> 00:11:03,372
Are you serious? Release the Young Daves?
363
00:11:03,373 --> 00:11:05,502
What about the Evolution of Man scene
where we need every single Young Dave?
364
00:11:05,504 --> 00:11:07,036
- How am I telling you this?
- Of course. Yeah, yeah.
365
00:11:07,048 --> 00:11:08,817
Are we getting a crane for that scene?
366
00:11:08,818 --> 00:11:10,588
Okay, we couldn't fit the crane
in the parking lot.
367
00:11:10,589 --> 00:11:12,123
They would need a crane
to bring in the other crane,
368
00:11:12,124 --> 00:11:13,144
so we just... we couldn't afford it.
369
00:11:13,146 --> 00:11:15,282
Tell Lonny that I need playback
ready at all times.
370
00:11:15,284 --> 00:11:17,364
Now that I'm in the video,
I can't see what's being shot.
371
00:11:17,366 --> 00:11:18,802
Or you could just trust me.
372
00:11:18,804 --> 00:11:20,105
- Don't do that.
- Joo! Coffee for Joo!
373
00:11:20,106 --> 00:11:22,610
Joo. Coffee for Joo.
374
00:11:22,611 --> 00:11:24,314
There you go, Joo.
375
00:11:24,315 --> 00:11:27,486
Sam! Coffee for Sam!
376
00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:30,490
- All right, places, everyone!
- Thank you.
377
00:11:30,492 --> 00:11:31,994
Getting ready to shoot.
378
00:11:31,995 --> 00:11:33,530
- Hi.
- Hi.
379
00:11:33,531 --> 00:11:35,869
- So sorry.
- Why are we showing Matt pick me up?
380
00:11:35,870 --> 00:11:37,906
- I thought it was about us.
- Uh, it is.
381
00:11:37,907 --> 00:11:39,877
Like, it's just about context and, you know,
382
00:11:39,878 --> 00:11:42,112
like, really getting the full scope of it.
383
00:11:42,114 --> 00:11:43,237
All right, everybody!
384
00:11:43,239 --> 00:11:44,307
Can I have background back to one
385
00:11:44,309 --> 00:11:46,312
and we're gonna roll camera!
386
00:11:46,457 --> 00:11:47,858
Car should arrive at "cocksucker."
387
00:11:47,859 --> 00:11:49,361
- The lyric "cocksucker."
- Can you do me a favor
388
00:11:49,362 --> 00:11:50,864
and cue the car at "cocksucker," please?
389
00:11:50,865 --> 00:11:52,935
- What?
- No, it should arrive on "cocksucker."
390
00:11:52,936 --> 00:11:54,739
- Uh, make sure it arrives...
- Can I have last looks for my hair?
391
00:11:54,740 --> 00:11:56,876
Emma, how does my hair
look in frame right now?
392
00:11:56,877 --> 00:11:58,580
We're on your feet.
393
00:11:58,581 --> 00:11:59,950
Right.
394
00:12:05,068 --> 00:12:08,733
I just think that it's not
a wide enough shot. Like...
395
00:12:08,734 --> 00:12:11,939
Oh, my God, I can't stop reading these.
396
00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:14,678
"Dear Boobie Boobois",
397
00:12:14,679 --> 00:12:16,949
"going to the mall
won't be the same without you,
398
00:12:16,950 --> 00:12:19,455
but Mr. To bay as hi sends his best."
399
00:12:19,456 --> 00:12:21,959
Mr. To bay as hi. Do you still have him?
400
00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:25,567
I don't know, but hang on,
I'm just, like, DM'ing Iverson.
401
00:12:25,568 --> 00:12:27,938
Can you look for Mr. To bay as hi, please?
402
00:12:27,939 --> 00:12:30,710
- Please?
- Yeah. Yes, yes.
403
00:12:30,711 --> 00:12:33,516
Mom? Where's To bay as hi kept?
404
00:12:33,517 --> 00:12:35,787
- Yes.
- Uh, ooh.
405
00:12:35,788 --> 00:12:37,291
Probably in the closet, I think.
406
00:12:37,292 --> 00:12:39,495
Oh, where are you, To bay as hi?
407
00:12:39,496 --> 00:12:41,866
Oh! I found him.
408
00:12:41,867 --> 00:12:43,403
He was eating his chips.
409
00:12:43,404 --> 00:12:45,440
- There he is. To bay as hi.
- There he goes.
410
00:12:45,441 --> 00:12:48,513
- I cannot believe you kept all this stuff.
- Yeah.
411
00:12:48,514 --> 00:12:51,753
I mean, this period of time
had a profound impact on me.
412
00:12:53,390 --> 00:12:55,794
But we evolve, you know?
413
00:12:55,795 --> 00:12:58,666
Did I tell you that I was dating
Doja Cat for a little while?
414
00:12:58,667 --> 00:13:00,337
Which one is Doja Cat?
415
00:13:00,338 --> 00:13:01,906
Doja Cat, like, she's made of milk.
416
00:13:01,907 --> 00:13:04,378
She's, like, a huge global pop star.
417
00:13:04,379 --> 00:13:05,747
It started off really hot and heavy.
418
00:13:05,748 --> 00:13:07,321
It's so hard to maintain that level of heat.
419
00:13:07,323 --> 00:13:08,653
You know, like,
she's always doing her thing,
420
00:13:08,654 --> 00:13:09,989
I'm always doing mine.
421
00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:11,592
Lifestyles don't always... one sec...
422
00:13:11,593 --> 00:13:12,928
Like, a-allow for that type of thing.
423
00:13:12,929 --> 00:13:14,398
When you're dating someone in the industry,
424
00:13:14,399 --> 00:13:15,934
it's, like, not always... What's up, Steph?
425
00:13:15,935 --> 00:13:18,106
Your mom is in the bathroom
and she's not coming out.
426
00:13:18,107 --> 00:13:19,642
What do you mean she's not
coming out? She's in this scene.
427
00:13:19,643 --> 00:13:21,078
She's got to come out. Can you get her?
428
00:13:21,079 --> 00:13:22,581
Well, no, I don't feel comfortable
429
00:13:22,582 --> 00:13:23,983
going into the bathroom, it's her house.
430
00:13:23,984 --> 00:13:26,622
Okay, one sec, Boobie.
Bye, Mr. To bay as hi.
431
00:13:26,623 --> 00:13:28,827
What's going on?
432
00:13:28,828 --> 00:13:30,497
Dave, Dave, I just got off
the phone with Macaroni Grill.
433
00:13:30,498 --> 00:13:31,866
We got to be out of there by 8:00 P.M.,
434
00:13:31,867 --> 00:13:33,069
'cause they have to open up the kitchen.
435
00:13:33,070 --> 00:13:34,972
- What? They said midnight.
- I know.
436
00:13:34,973 --> 00:13:36,609
- Well, what are you gonna do?
- Did you tell them it was me?
437
00:13:36,610 --> 00:13:38,446
Yeah. They did not know who you were, so...
438
00:13:38,447 --> 00:13:40,016
Okay, so you're saying I'm still
an underdog in my own city?
439
00:13:40,017 --> 00:13:41,853
No, that's not what I'm saying.
What I'm saying is
440
00:13:41,854 --> 00:13:43,656
- we need to finish this up.
- Dave, where are you going?
441
00:13:43,657 --> 00:13:45,126
We're underdogs. It's cool. That's cool.
442
00:13:45,127 --> 00:13:46,210
- I like being an underdog.
- Where are you going?
443
00:13:46,212 --> 00:13:47,431
I'm getting my mom.
444
00:13:47,432 --> 00:13:49,034
- Hurry the fuck up.
- Okay.
445
00:13:49,035 --> 00:13:50,470
Mom.
446
00:13:50,471 --> 00:13:51,873
Oh, Carol.
447
00:13:51,874 --> 00:13:54,011
Oh, Carol...
448
00:13:54,012 --> 00:13:55,847
Carol, the... oh...
449
00:13:55,848 --> 00:13:57,918
Whoa. What is going on in here right now?
450
00:13:57,919 --> 00:14:00,524
Your mother ate her hearing aids.
451
00:14:00,525 --> 00:14:01,926
She ate her hearing aids?
452
00:14:01,927 --> 00:14:03,530
Yeah. She-she took them out,
453
00:14:03,531 --> 00:14:05,033
she put them on the table for some reason.
454
00:14:05,034 --> 00:14:06,736
To get relief from all the noise.
455
00:14:06,737 --> 00:14:07,938
And-and I had some kettle corn
that I got from...
456
00:14:07,939 --> 00:14:09,416
That he just opened up and put
457
00:14:09,418 --> 00:14:10,816
- all over the table.
- ...I got it from crafty.
458
00:14:10,818 --> 00:14:12,147
And yeah, look.
459
00:14:12,148 --> 00:14:14,585
This-this is a several-thousand-
dollar problem that we got.
460
00:14:14,586 --> 00:14:16,088
- Mom?
- Insurance is not gonna cover this.
461
00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:17,992
- Yes?
- Uh, c-can you vomit out your hearing aids
462
00:14:17,993 --> 00:14:19,695
after we shoot this one scene, please?
463
00:14:19,696 --> 00:14:21,432
David?
464
00:14:21,433 --> 00:14:23,970
There's still tape all over the walls.
465
00:14:23,971 --> 00:14:26,075
We just repainted.
466
00:14:26,076 --> 00:14:29,915
Okay, I'll tell them to...
Just hurry the fuck up, Mom.
467
00:14:29,916 --> 00:14:31,520
? ?
468
00:14:33,424 --> 00:14:34,758
Dave, do you have any free time?
469
00:14:34,759 --> 00:14:36,128
Uh, make playback so accessible,
470
00:14:36,129 --> 00:14:37,898
'cause this is the big scene right here.
471
00:14:37,899 --> 00:14:39,735
She's coming, she's coming.
Like, let's just do it.
472
00:14:39,736 --> 00:14:41,138
She'll be here on her mark
by the time we start shooting.
473
00:14:41,139 --> 00:14:42,541
Ready to dance?
474
00:14:42,542 --> 00:14:44,178
Oh, my God.
475
00:14:44,179 --> 00:14:46,716
I can't believe we are recreating
476
00:14:46,717 --> 00:14:48,486
this moment right now. Insane.
477
00:14:48,487 --> 00:14:50,657
It is insane. I agree.
478
00:14:50,658 --> 00:14:53,999
So, um, when are we gonna
have time to actually hang out?
479
00:14:54,799 --> 00:14:56,569
Uh, like, beyond what we're doing?
480
00:14:56,570 --> 00:14:58,573
I don't know that I will, just 'cause, like,
481
00:14:58,574 --> 00:15:01,112
we're gonna wrap late, and then
I have to go on tour tomorrow.
482
00:15:01,113 --> 00:15:03,116
- Mm-hmm.
- And my parents, I need to see...
483
00:15:03,117 --> 00:15:04,852
It was a stupid idea, you know?
484
00:15:04,853 --> 00:15:06,756
It's actually kind of insane to want
485
00:15:06,757 --> 00:15:09,595
to carve out time
with one of my oldest friends.
486
00:15:09,596 --> 00:15:12,234
I'll... Fine. I will figure out
some way after wrap
487
00:15:12,235 --> 00:15:15,240
- to, like, stay up all night.
- Did you just say "fine"?
488
00:15:15,241 --> 00:15:17,577
I don't want to be a "fine."
I don't want to be a surrender.
489
00:15:17,578 --> 00:15:19,515
No, no surrender at all.
I'm excited. Let's hang out.
490
00:15:19,516 --> 00:15:21,953
Because I'd love to chitchat
about a few things and catch up.
491
00:15:21,954 --> 00:15:24,345
- I would like that. Cool.
- Me, too.
492
00:15:24,347 --> 00:15:25,995
- Cool.
- You guys good to give it a shot?
493
00:15:25,996 --> 00:15:27,497
- Yeah. Let's do it.
- Okay.
494
00:15:27,498 --> 00:15:28,933
Perfect. Okay, lock it up!
495
00:15:28,934 --> 00:15:31,472
- I'll be at village.
- Okay, roll camera!
496
00:15:31,473 --> 00:15:34,078
- Set!
- Let's do it right.
497
00:15:34,079 --> 00:15:35,748
And action!
498
00:15:36,583 --> 00:15:40,857
? I love you back, you know... ?
499
00:15:40,858 --> 00:15:42,594
No.
500
00:15:46,870 --> 00:15:48,039
- Uh...
- Oh, my God.
501
00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:49,742
Yeah. Too much, I think, right?
502
00:15:49,743 --> 00:15:51,245
Stay in it.
503
00:15:51,246 --> 00:15:52,246
It doesn't look that bad.
504
00:15:53,717 --> 00:15:54,952
Uh...
505
00:15:54,953 --> 00:15:56,288
Wow, this...
506
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:57,592
What do you want...
507
00:16:00,231 --> 00:16:01,499
Mom, get out.
508
00:16:01,500 --> 00:16:02,968
He-he just told me to come in.
509
00:16:02,969 --> 00:16:04,738
I couldn't really hear you.
510
00:16:04,739 --> 00:16:06,510
I'm in the scene, Mom.
Just read the fucking script.
511
00:16:06,512 --> 00:16:08,746
Get out! Okay, uh...
512
00:16:08,747 --> 00:16:10,016
All right, way too much cum.
513
00:16:10,017 --> 00:16:11,519
Cut, cut, cut.
514
00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:12,521
What are you d... Are you coming?
515
00:16:12,522 --> 00:16:13,956
You said pissing cum.
516
00:16:13,957 --> 00:16:15,621
This is way too much cum.
I'm not a fucking yak.
517
00:16:15,623 --> 00:16:16,654
You said pissing cum.
518
00:16:16,656 --> 00:16:17,859
I'm trying to get, like,
a female demographic
519
00:16:17,865 --> 00:16:19,234
- out of this.
- That is pissing cum right there.
520
00:16:19,235 --> 00:16:21,072
It's supposed to be highbrow and poetic,
521
00:16:21,073 --> 00:16:23,142
like, no one's ever cum soft,
that's why we're doing it.
522
00:16:23,143 --> 00:16:25,080
- Not this.
- Well, you didn't tell me that.
523
00:16:25,081 --> 00:16:26,849
I don't know what you imagined,
but, like, how could you
524
00:16:26,850 --> 00:16:28,086
- have imagined this?
- Look, I mean, that's not fair.
525
00:16:28,087 --> 00:16:30,201
I mean, I worked on this for a long time.
526
00:16:30,203 --> 00:16:31,592
It's too much. Whatever it is,
it's way too much.
527
00:16:31,593 --> 00:16:32,894
I got to look at playback
and see if this is even usable.
528
00:16:32,895 --> 00:16:34,598
That's all over my floor. David?
529
00:16:34,599 --> 00:16:36,102
Where's playback? I got to watch that.
530
00:16:36,103 --> 00:16:38,039
David, don't get that on my couch.
531
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:39,575
What is the next scene?
532
00:16:39,576 --> 00:16:40,877
It looked less bad on camera
533
00:16:40,878 --> 00:16:42,280
than it probably felt in the moment.
534
00:16:42,281 --> 00:16:44,051
I have to watch playback
because it felt horrible.
535
00:16:44,052 --> 00:16:45,820
- This is crazy.
- Why can't you just trust me?
536
00:16:45,821 --> 00:16:48,126
Emma, I obviously value
your opinion, I really do,
537
00:16:48,127 --> 00:16:49,862
and I'm trying to make this our thing,
538
00:16:49,863 --> 00:16:51,565
but it's still a Lil Dicky video
at the end of the day,
539
00:16:51,566 --> 00:16:53,202
and it's got to be my thing,
it's my life story.
540
00:16:53,203 --> 00:16:55,173
I'm sorry. Stop guilting me
for looking at the footage.
541
00:16:55,174 --> 00:16:57,210
- Hey, we got to watch the playback.
- Hey, Dave. Can we talk?
542
00:16:57,211 --> 00:16:58,913
- No, we have to watch the footage.
- I'm having an issue here.
543
00:16:58,914 --> 00:17:01,185
- What?
- Okay, listen, um...
544
00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:03,890
I-I used to make furniture, okay?
545
00:17:03,891 --> 00:17:05,193
Truly beautiful furniture.
546
00:17:05,194 --> 00:17:07,064
- Okay.
- No, it was my purpose in life,
547
00:17:07,065 --> 00:17:08,833
it was my joy, I was really good at it.
548
00:17:08,834 --> 00:17:11,005
I-I did Pat Croce's entire living room.
549
00:17:11,006 --> 00:17:12,708
What are we talking about right now?
550
00:17:12,709 --> 00:17:14,578
As the business grew, so did the pressure.
551
00:17:14,579 --> 00:17:17,684
To relieve that pressure,
I-I started to huff.
552
00:17:17,685 --> 00:17:19,354
- To hu...?
- To huff. Huff.
553
00:17:19,355 --> 00:17:20,824
Huff. Huff.
554
00:17:20,825 --> 00:17:22,828
- Oh!
- Yeah. Shellac, lacquer.
555
00:17:22,829 --> 00:17:23,963
I got a... I got addicted.
556
00:17:23,964 --> 00:17:25,700
- Oh. Oh, God.
- Okay? I'd huff,
557
00:17:25,701 --> 00:17:27,938
- create, huff some more, you know?
- Yeah.
558
00:17:27,939 --> 00:17:29,341
I smoke weed when I rap. I... You know.
559
00:17:29,342 --> 00:17:31,212
Yeah, of all...
Did you lose your family? I did.
560
00:17:31,213 --> 00:17:32,748
That... No, sorry.
561
00:17:32,749 --> 00:17:34,151
- No apologies from you, please.
- Okay.
562
00:17:34,152 --> 00:17:36,922
Okay? I lost my family, I lost the store.
563
00:17:36,923 --> 00:17:39,895
And-and, look, these floors,
they've recently been redone.
564
00:17:39,896 --> 00:17:42,100
- Fumigation? Yeah.
- It's-it's getting bad.
565
00:17:42,101 --> 00:17:44,104
So if I stay here, all right,
by the end of the night,
566
00:17:44,105 --> 00:17:46,809
I'm in a dumpster behind a frame
store, digging to get that...
567
00:17:46,810 --> 00:17:48,112
You can sleep over. Like, I mean,
568
00:17:48,113 --> 00:17:49,615
it's probably bad to sleep over, but, like,
569
00:17:49,616 --> 00:17:51,018
you don't have to go to the frame store.
570
00:17:51,019 --> 00:17:52,654
- I'll pin you to the bed.
- I-I think you're great.
571
00:17:52,655 --> 00:17:54,224
- I'm sorry, I got to go.
- No, because if you go,
572
00:17:54,225 --> 00:17:56,128
I won't be able to watch
the footage, and I have no idea
573
00:17:56,129 --> 00:17:57,697
- what's going on in the video.
- I got to take care of myself.
574
00:17:57,698 --> 00:17:58,966
No, please don't go, Lonny. Please don't go.
575
00:17:58,967 --> 00:18:00,136
- Hi.
- Do you have a...
576
00:18:00,137 --> 00:18:01,906
Would you want to blaze?
577
00:18:01,907 --> 00:18:03,776
D... No, no.
578
00:18:03,777 --> 00:18:05,147
- I would not.
- Okay.
579
00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:11,626
Boobie! We're gonna give that
one more time, okay?
580
00:18:16,608 --> 00:18:18,657
? Now she's with this other guy
Didn't see it coming ?
581
00:18:18,807 --> 00:18:21,778
? I strategized my hallway
walks so I could see her some ?
582
00:18:21,780 --> 00:18:23,382
? The only class we had together, Spanish ?
583
00:18:23,383 --> 00:18:25,687
? What the fuck? I was Carlos, she was Mia ?
584
00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:27,651
? Why do they make us choose
Spanish names, by the way? ?
585
00:18:27,653 --> 00:18:28,826
? Isn't that insane? ?
586
00:18:28,827 --> 00:18:30,025
- ? Yes ?
- ? I digress ?
587
00:18:30,027 --> 00:18:31,671
? Of course he cheated on her,
she would call me ?
588
00:18:31,673 --> 00:18:33,342
? So depressed, but she kept going back ?
589
00:18:33,344 --> 00:18:35,080
? MapQuest-ing, printing out directions ?
590
00:18:35,368 --> 00:18:37,209
? I designated-drive to his parties ?
591
00:18:37,211 --> 00:18:38,405
? That shit was so ?
592
00:18:38,407 --> 00:18:40,498
? I was soft, I was pussy,
I was weak, I was lame ?
593
00:18:40,500 --> 00:18:42,675
? But whatever, I'm in ninth
grade, what the hell ?
594
00:18:42,717 --> 00:18:44,724
? Could I say? But one time I stayed home ?
595
00:18:44,726 --> 00:18:47,027
? His party got busted by the po-po ?
596
00:18:47,029 --> 00:18:48,932
? It made me so, so, so, so, so ?
597
00:18:48,933 --> 00:18:51,030
? So, so happy, he got grounded
and the dance ?
598
00:18:51,037 --> 00:18:52,840
? Was this week, I never went to those ?
599
00:18:52,841 --> 00:18:54,243
? But now she could just stay home with me ?
600
00:18:54,245 --> 00:18:56,081
? Why didn't I go to them?
Okay, 'cause I was scared ?
601
00:18:56,082 --> 00:18:57,528
? Of getting boners on the dance floor ?
602
00:18:57,530 --> 00:18:58,695
? The whole thing was overwhelming ?
603
00:18:58,697 --> 00:18:59,859
? It was just a bizarre social situation ?
604
00:18:59,861 --> 00:19:01,450
? I didn't drink, everyone did, whatever ?
605
00:19:01,452 --> 00:19:03,355
? Back to the story, I was excited ?
606
00:19:03,357 --> 00:19:05,251
? To just chill with her,
return to our glory ?
607
00:19:05,253 --> 00:19:06,628
? Then she like, "Dave, wait" ?
608
00:19:06,630 --> 00:19:07,848
? "We should go to the dance together ?
609
00:19:07,850 --> 00:19:09,319
? Just be my date," I'm like, "What?" ?
610
00:19:09,321 --> 00:19:11,157
? She like, "Yeah," I'm like, "Uh" ?
611
00:19:11,216 --> 00:19:13,518
? I came and came, my brain just said yes ?
612
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:17,089
? Popularity-wise, this is a
jet pack, and I miss my friend ?
613
00:19:17,091 --> 00:19:18,794
? And obviously I was
fully in love with her ?
614
00:19:18,795 --> 00:19:20,063
? So I said, "Okay, no problem" ?
615
00:19:20,064 --> 00:19:21,635
? I got my suit with my mama ?
616
00:19:21,637 --> 00:19:23,035
? Then we all met up at a fella's house ?
617
00:19:23,037 --> 00:19:24,310
? To take a few pics ?
618
00:19:24,312 --> 00:19:26,943
? 16 girls, 16 guys,
parents filming this shit ?
619
00:19:26,944 --> 00:19:29,688
? I pull up with my mama,
oh, my God, there's a problem ?
620
00:19:29,690 --> 00:19:30,951
? The fucking guy isn't grounded ?
621
00:19:30,952 --> 00:19:32,720
? He's really there
with his arm around her ?
622
00:19:32,722 --> 00:19:34,613
? I couldn't believe it,
she said that he showed up ?
623
00:19:34,615 --> 00:19:36,798
? And surprised her, and then
of course somebody's like ?
624
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:38,468
? "We gotta take a wide pic." ?
625
00:19:38,470 --> 00:19:41,939
? 33 people, only one had no
date, my mama asking me why ?
626
00:19:41,941 --> 00:19:43,743
? But I felt way too ashamed,
so I just lied ?
627
00:19:43,744 --> 00:19:46,410
? I told her that I knew
this was happening ?
628
00:19:46,412 --> 00:19:48,954
? And that everything was good
and I could not abandon it ?
629
00:19:48,955 --> 00:19:50,724
? So I went with them, in the limo ?
630
00:19:50,725 --> 00:19:52,561
? In the dinner, Macaroni Grill ?
631
00:19:52,562 --> 00:19:54,531
? I'm the 33rd wheel, is this real? ?
632
00:19:54,532 --> 00:19:56,068
? But it got worse, right before the bill ?
633
00:19:56,069 --> 00:19:57,844
? A bunch of waiters and waitresses ?
634
00:19:57,846 --> 00:19:59,208
? Bring a cake to my table ?
635
00:19:59,209 --> 00:20:02,215
? They're all singing happy birthday to me ?
636
00:20:02,217 --> 00:20:05,049
? Happy birthday to me, not my birthday ?
637
00:20:05,051 --> 00:20:06,662
? And of course, this fucking restaurant ?
638
00:20:06,664 --> 00:20:08,861
? Has this custom where you got
to stand up on a table ?
639
00:20:08,862 --> 00:20:11,298
? And wave a fucking napkin
while everyone stares ?
640
00:20:11,299 --> 00:20:13,703
? I saw the older guys laugh
so I just played into it ?
641
00:20:13,704 --> 00:20:15,683
? I'm on a table dancing, embarrassed ?
642
00:20:15,685 --> 00:20:16,977
? But no one knew it ?
643
00:20:16,978 --> 00:20:19,148
? Except Brittany did and
she had been drinking, shit ?
644
00:20:19,149 --> 00:20:20,650
? The water bottle full of liquor ?
645
00:20:20,651 --> 00:20:21,853
? Lower than my confidence... ?
646
00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:22,889
Dave! Dave! Dave!
647
00:20:22,890 --> 00:20:24,291
Brittany, where are you...?
648
00:20:24,292 --> 00:20:25,995
- Cut! Where is she going?
- Dave, don't call cut.
649
00:20:25,996 --> 00:20:27,865
- We're leaving in two minutes.
- Okay.
650
00:20:27,866 --> 00:20:29,869
- Oh, no, no.
- Let me reset while we get her, please.
651
00:20:29,870 --> 00:20:31,772
- No, wait, we got to shoot now, man!
- We can't go again!
652
00:20:31,773 --> 00:20:34,178
...hung up on this girl, man.
We have no video now, Dave.
653
00:20:34,179 --> 00:20:36,582
Yeah, we got 90 seconds
or they pull that plug.
654
00:20:36,583 --> 00:20:38,685
- Literally.
- Okay, well, then bring everyone outside
655
00:20:38,687 --> 00:20:40,012
for the Evolution of Man scene.
656
00:20:40,014 --> 00:20:41,283
- We'll do it out there.
- No, Dave,
657
00:20:41,285 --> 00:20:42,625
we don't have permits to shoot outside.
658
00:20:42,627 --> 00:20:44,330
Roger, this is Philly.
659
00:20:44,699 --> 00:20:47,003
Nobody gives a fuck about permits.
660
00:20:48,740 --> 00:20:52,348
Okay, everybody, we're moving outside!
661
00:20:53,617 --> 00:20:54,732
Boobie!
662
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:57,223
We're almost finished.
Please don't go right now.
663
00:20:57,224 --> 00:20:58,808
That's the end of your fucking video?
664
00:20:58,810 --> 00:21:00,937
I-I'm not gonna let you
make me into a villain, Dave.
665
00:21:00,939 --> 00:21:03,469
Are you actually surprised
by the contents of this video?
666
00:21:03,470 --> 00:21:05,573
Like, I'm just showing
what happened that night.
667
00:21:05,574 --> 00:21:07,477
Cool, you're just gonna do
668
00:21:07,478 --> 00:21:09,347
the exact same thing
you always do to me. Great.
669
00:21:09,348 --> 00:21:11,386
I should've known that this
was where it was gonna go.
670
00:21:12,321 --> 00:21:14,591
What are you talking about?
671
00:21:14,592 --> 00:21:17,630
You're used to owning me and controlling me
672
00:21:17,631 --> 00:21:19,538
and manipulating me
and having me do your bidding,
673
00:21:19,540 --> 00:21:21,642
- and it's just not that way anymore.
- I'm manipulative?
674
00:21:21,644 --> 00:21:22,646
Yeah.
675
00:21:22,648 --> 00:21:24,377
Uh, I came here today
to hang out with my friend,
676
00:21:24,378 --> 00:21:26,018
and all of a sudden, I'm in a video
677
00:21:26,020 --> 00:21:27,456
where you're making
me look like an asshole.
678
00:21:27,457 --> 00:21:30,175
If you feel like an asshole by
watching what went down in there,
679
00:21:30,177 --> 00:21:31,578
again, I don't know what to tell you.
680
00:21:31,580 --> 00:21:33,183
That's just, like, what occurred.
681
00:21:33,185 --> 00:21:34,387
You know what I think?
682
00:21:34,389 --> 00:21:36,234
What you're actually feeling is the fact
683
00:21:36,236 --> 00:21:38,290
that I've moved on from you.
684
00:21:40,256 --> 00:21:41,345
Boobie?
685
00:21:41,694 --> 00:21:45,233
We just spent a whole day
shooting a video about me.
686
00:21:45,754 --> 00:21:47,176
It's closure. It's closure.
687
00:21:47,178 --> 00:21:48,760
You're clearly not over it.
688
00:21:48,881 --> 00:21:51,853
And you left out the biggest fucking detail.
689
00:21:52,201 --> 00:21:53,208
What?
690
00:21:53,210 --> 00:21:55,200
That we dated for a month after that.
691
00:21:55,202 --> 00:21:58,574
One month, Brittany. You gave me one month.
692
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:01,351
Five years of being
your absolute best friend,
693
00:22:01,353 --> 00:22:02,388
and then what happened?
694
00:22:02,390 --> 00:22:04,393
You broke my heart so quickly
695
00:22:04,395 --> 00:22:06,398
for another piece of shit older guy.
696
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:08,917
So forgive me for not including
that second ending
697
00:22:08,919 --> 00:22:09,946
in this video, okay?
698
00:22:09,948 --> 00:22:11,316
It fucking killed me.
699
00:22:11,318 --> 00:22:13,074
And it really is probably exactly why
700
00:22:13,076 --> 00:22:14,978
I am today the way that I am today.
701
00:22:14,980 --> 00:22:16,516
This fucking relationship.
702
00:22:16,518 --> 00:22:18,374
Okay, well, yeah.
703
00:22:18,376 --> 00:22:20,479
Uh, it's life, Dave.
I don't know what to tell you.
704
00:22:20,481 --> 00:22:23,486
I was 16 years old.
It was depressing for me, too.
705
00:22:23,669 --> 00:22:25,672
I had family problems.
706
00:22:25,801 --> 00:22:27,862
I was fucking cutting myself.
707
00:22:32,261 --> 00:22:34,098
That sucks.
708
00:22:34,100 --> 00:22:36,437
I obviously did not know that.
709
00:22:37,465 --> 00:22:39,201
I'm just trying to tell my story.
710
00:22:39,562 --> 00:22:41,616
Great, tell your story. That's fine.
711
00:22:41,618 --> 00:22:43,521
But I'm not gonna tell it
because it's not mine.
712
00:22:43,523 --> 00:22:45,317
And I'm not gonna be a prop in your...
713
00:22:46,255 --> 00:22:48,258
"female demographic video."
714
00:22:49,427 --> 00:22:50,760
Where are you going?
715
00:22:51,966 --> 00:22:53,541
That's my boyfriend, Dave.
716
00:22:54,377 --> 00:22:56,669
We've been dating for three months.
717
00:22:56,671 --> 00:22:58,507
But how would you know that, right?
718
00:22:58,509 --> 00:23:01,285
'Cause it's not as interesting
as dating Doja Cat.
719
00:23:02,094 --> 00:23:05,211
Does he have a pink, thick dick?
720
00:23:07,317 --> 00:23:08,639
I really loved you.
721
00:23:10,523 --> 00:23:12,594
It doesn't seem to matter to you at all.
722
00:23:16,002 --> 00:23:18,303
It... Of... It always will matter.
723
00:23:24,816 --> 00:23:26,221
Dave. Dave.
724
00:23:26,222 --> 00:23:28,157
There is no time.
725
00:23:28,158 --> 00:23:30,329
- Yeah.
- We're done.
726
00:23:30,330 --> 00:23:32,300
I mean, maybe one setup. I...
727
00:23:32,301 --> 00:23:34,372
Tell me what you want to do.
728
00:23:36,069 --> 00:23:38,133
Do we have any Brittanys still here?
729
00:23:38,135 --> 00:23:41,007
Yes, actually. One. Uh,
wardrobe lady's daughter, so...
730
00:23:41,009 --> 00:23:42,543
- Which generation is that?
- I don't know.
731
00:23:42,545 --> 00:23:44,115
Doesn't even matter. Get her camera-ready.
732
00:23:44,392 --> 00:23:45,793
I just need, like, five minutes
733
00:23:45,795 --> 00:23:47,631
to sit and think about
the ending of this video.
734
00:23:47,633 --> 00:23:49,236
- Yeah.
- 'Cause I have an evolution...
735
00:23:49,238 --> 00:23:52,048
Copy that. Okay. Uh, hey, uh, Steph. Um...
736
00:23:52,050 --> 00:23:55,088
I have an idea to get it
pretty fast in, like, one take.
737
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:57,403
Do you want to see it?
738
00:23:57,405 --> 00:24:00,428
Uh, do what you see. I really do trust you.
739
00:24:01,031 --> 00:24:02,432
Oh.
740
00:24:02,761 --> 00:24:04,798
Okay. Let's go.
741
00:24:04,799 --> 00:24:06,401
- Uh, Roger?
- Yes?
742
00:24:06,402 --> 00:24:07,904
Okay. We got one take to do this.
743
00:24:08,843 --> 00:24:10,276
Action.
744
00:24:10,277 --> 00:24:12,680
? I told her everything on my
mind, I told her everything ?
745
00:24:12,681 --> 00:24:15,558
? Every single song that made
me think about her every day ?
746
00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:17,147
? Everybody said that we're just kids ?
747
00:24:17,149 --> 00:24:18,549
? But that never changed the fact ?
748
00:24:18,551 --> 00:24:20,321
? That to this kid,
you were his everything ?
749
00:24:20,832 --> 00:24:22,701
? The next part I will never forget ?
750
00:24:22,703 --> 00:24:23,988
? She walked right up to me slowly ?
751
00:24:23,990 --> 00:24:25,291
? Then she gave me a kiss ?
752
00:24:25,573 --> 00:24:28,109
? First kiss, ugh, no way, no ?
753
00:24:28,286 --> 00:24:31,484
? Oh, my God, then she said,
"I love you, too" ?
754
00:24:31,486 --> 00:24:33,618
? I didn't believe her at first,
I thought she was drunk ?
755
00:24:34,177 --> 00:24:36,414
? But then the next day,
she was singing the same song ?
756
00:24:36,416 --> 00:24:39,412
? She ran over to my crib
and was all over me ?
757
00:24:39,414 --> 00:24:41,551
? We started kissing, touching,
blushing, gushing ?
758
00:24:41,573 --> 00:24:43,075
? There was no humping yet, not then ?
759
00:24:43,077 --> 00:24:44,612
? But I would settle for love ?
760
00:24:44,614 --> 00:24:46,083
? Got my first hand job in the park ?
761
00:24:46,085 --> 00:24:47,316
? Really came out the mud ?
762
00:24:47,318 --> 00:24:48,725
? I couldn't believe it, it was a dream ?
763
00:24:48,727 --> 00:24:50,575
? I planted my seed
on Harrison Avenue yet again ?
764
00:24:50,577 --> 00:24:51,826
? I really did it, huh? ?
765
00:24:51,828 --> 00:24:53,631
? And then all of a sudden, it was done ?
766
00:24:53,633 --> 00:24:55,258
? Just a month long and then she moved on ?
767
00:24:55,260 --> 00:24:56,765
? I never knew someone could make you feel ?
768
00:24:56,767 --> 00:24:57,901
? So right and so wrong ?
769
00:24:57,960 --> 00:24:59,161
? So good and so bad ?
770
00:24:59,163 --> 00:25:00,966
? Either way, I had what I had ?
771
00:25:00,968 --> 00:25:02,504
? And it showed me I was who I was ?
772
00:25:02,506 --> 00:25:04,609
? And that I was worthy of love ?
773
00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:08,179
? I love you back, you know ?
774
00:25:08,632 --> 00:25:10,502
? I love you, girl ?
775
00:25:10,504 --> 00:25:12,487
? It's the Evolution of Man ?
776
00:25:13,383 --> 00:25:15,553
? I love you, girl ?
777
00:25:15,707 --> 00:25:17,844
? I'm still evolving ?
778
00:25:17,845 --> 00:25:19,349
? But you know ?
779
00:25:19,488 --> 00:25:20,689
? I love you, girl ?
780
00:25:20,691 --> 00:25:22,279
Amazing. Cut.
781
00:25:22,281 --> 00:25:25,788
sync and corrections by solfieri
www.addic7ed.com
782
00:25:27,431 --> 00:25:31,372
? I love you back, you know ?
783
00:25:33,008 --> 00:25:37,351
? I love you back, you know ?
784
00:25:38,753 --> 00:25:40,791
? ?
785
00:25:46,869 --> 00:25:50,277
? With all your tenderness ?
786
00:25:57,491 --> 00:26:00,863
? With all your tenderness ?
787
00:26:00,864 --> 00:26:04,437
? I love you back, you know ?
788
00:26:04,438 --> 00:26:06,308
? Yes, I do ?
789
00:26:06,309 --> 00:26:09,614
? I love you back, you know ?
790
00:26:09,615 --> 00:26:11,618
? Yes, I do ?
791
00:26:11,619 --> 00:26:16,295
? I love you back, you know. ?
63017
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