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1
00:00:02,635 --> 00:00:09,508
- [singing] down came the rain
and washed the spider out.
2
00:00:12,479 --> 00:00:18,584
Out came the sun,
dried up all the rain.
3
00:00:18,586 --> 00:00:22,087
Itsy bitsy spider
4
00:00:22,089 --> 00:00:28,093
Went up...The spout...
Again.
5
00:00:34,167 --> 00:00:37,269
Aha!
6
00:00:37,271 --> 00:00:42,408
I love that spider.
7
00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:44,576
You know, they could be fussing
and crying.
8
00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:48,047
You start singing that song,
it's musical chloroform.
9
00:00:49,649 --> 00:00:51,550
- That's great, ray.
Look at this.
10
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,118
You told me you took care
of the car wreck guy,
11
00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:55,454
Got another bill from him.
12
00:00:55,456 --> 00:00:57,623
And the pediatrician
is still sending us the bill
13
00:00:57,625 --> 00:00:59,591
Because you haven't contacted
the insurance company.
14
00:00:59,593 --> 00:01:01,560
- [singing]
the itsy bitsy spider...
15
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:04,096
- Look, ray, I only asked you
to do a couple of things --
16
00:01:04,098 --> 00:01:05,597
- [singing]
went up the water spout.
17
00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:09,735
Out came the rain.
18
00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:16,742
- [singing]
washed the spider out.
19
00:01:16,744 --> 00:01:18,110
- Just next time--
20
00:01:18,112 --> 00:01:19,611
- [singing]
frere jacques.
21
00:01:23,284 --> 00:01:27,252
And I live here in long island
with my wife, debra...
22
00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:31,824
My 6-year-old daughter
and twin almost 2-year-old boys.
23
00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:01,353
It's still warm.
24
00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:02,354
Come on,
what's goin' on?
25
00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:03,655
- Yeah, here. Come here.
26
00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:05,524
Sign your parents'
anniversary card.
27
00:02:08,561 --> 00:02:11,630
- Oh, look, a girl puppy
nuzzling a boy puppy.
28
00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:12,898
Hmm.
29
00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:14,566
Well, you've captured them.
30
00:02:16,302 --> 00:02:18,137
"no bones about it,
doggone it.
31
00:02:18,139 --> 00:02:20,672
We love you!"
32
00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:22,274
I'm sorry.
I can't sign that.
33
00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:25,477
- Hey, I have an idea.
34
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:27,279
Why don't we send them
the card you bought them?
35
00:02:28,848 --> 00:02:31,383
- Now I get it.
I get it now.
36
00:02:31,385 --> 00:02:34,219
"doggone it"
'cause there's dogs on it.
37
00:02:34,221 --> 00:02:36,155
Very clever.
38
00:02:36,157 --> 00:02:37,389
I didn't see it
at first.
39
00:02:37,391 --> 00:02:38,624
I see it now.
40
00:02:38,626 --> 00:02:39,791
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
41
00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:41,293
40th anniversary?
42
00:02:41,295 --> 00:02:44,296
- Yep.
- Wow. That's a big one.
43
00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:46,532
Are we--are we
doing anything?
44
00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:49,935
- What do you mean
are we doing anything?
45
00:02:49,937 --> 00:02:52,304
- Well, I mean...40 years.
46
00:02:52,306 --> 00:02:54,506
Is there gonna be a party
or something?
47
00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:57,209
- Oh!
Is there gonna be a party?
48
00:02:57,211 --> 00:02:58,177
- Well, you know, uh--
49
00:02:58,179 --> 00:02:59,211
- Oh, yeah, I know,
50
00:02:59,213 --> 00:03:00,412
That kind of instant party,
51
00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:02,281
Where the earth
just splits open,
52
00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:05,584
And dancing girls
fly out with cupcakes.
53
00:03:07,654 --> 00:03:10,756
- I'd go to that party.
- Yeah.
54
00:03:10,758 --> 00:03:11,790
Such an idiot.
55
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,559
- What? What?
56
00:03:13,561 --> 00:03:15,928
- You're saying I should throw
a party for your parents.
57
00:03:15,930 --> 00:03:17,396
- I didn't say that.
58
00:03:17,398 --> 00:03:18,564
- Why don't you throw them
a party?
59
00:03:18,566 --> 00:03:20,332
They're your parents.
60
00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:21,900
- Is it so important
whose parents they are?
61
00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:24,636
- Yes!
62
00:03:24,638 --> 00:03:27,406
- I'm just saying
someone ought to,
63
00:03:27,408 --> 00:03:28,907
And parties
are your department.
64
00:03:28,909 --> 00:03:31,677
You're so...Festive.
65
00:03:33,279 --> 00:03:34,413
[door opens]
- hey.
66
00:03:34,415 --> 00:03:36,381
- Hey, robert.
67
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:39,384
- Here's the ointment
I borrowed.
68
00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:41,954
I don't know what happened
to the applicator.
69
00:03:46,326 --> 00:03:48,227
- You know what? Keep it.
70
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:51,830
Listen, robert...
71
00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:53,332
Are you planning
to do anything
72
00:03:53,334 --> 00:03:54,866
To celebrate
your parents' anniversary?
73
00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:56,668
- Not really.
74
00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:59,605
Why? Is there gonna be, like,
a party or somethin'?
75
00:03:59,607 --> 00:04:01,373
- Debra doesn't want
to make a party.
76
00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:02,741
- Why should I make a party?
77
00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:06,278
- Well, it is
their 40th anniversary.
78
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:08,380
- Okay, look, if you two
want it on your conscience
79
00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:10,449
That this occasion
went by and you did nothing,
80
00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:11,717
That's fine with me.
81
00:04:11,719 --> 00:04:12,818
I'm out of it.
I got 'em a card.
82
00:04:19,792 --> 00:04:21,660
- So what do you think?
83
00:04:21,662 --> 00:04:24,396
- A party? I don't know.
84
00:04:24,398 --> 00:04:26,698
- Maybe we should, uh...
85
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:28,667
Get some chips.
86
00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:35,307
- What, like--
like potato chips?
87
00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:36,975
- Yeah.
88
00:04:36,977 --> 00:04:38,277
- I like barbecue.
89
00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:39,544
- Nice.
- Yeah, yeah.
90
00:04:39,546 --> 00:04:41,313
- How about
sour cream and onion?
91
00:04:41,315 --> 00:04:44,616
No, wait a minute.
Is that too much?
92
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:45,917
- Well, I mean,
it is their 40th.
93
00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:46,952
- Yeah, that's true.
Yeah.
94
00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:48,520
How about some dip?
95
00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:49,955
- You know what?
We don't need dip.
96
00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:52,057
- Yeah, 'cause the chips
are already flavored.
97
00:04:52,059 --> 00:04:54,760
- Right, right, right.
98
00:04:54,762 --> 00:04:56,428
- All right, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait a minute.
99
00:04:56,430 --> 00:04:57,729
What about the main food?
100
00:04:57,731 --> 00:04:58,997
- Pizza?
101
00:04:58,999 --> 00:05:01,733
- Nah.
I had pizza last night.
102
00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:02,768
Chinese?
103
00:05:02,770 --> 00:05:03,935
- No, no.
104
00:05:03,937 --> 00:05:08,040
Dad always imitates
the delivery guy.
105
00:05:08,042 --> 00:05:09,675
- I got it! I got it.
106
00:05:09,677 --> 00:05:11,076
Six-foot hero.
107
00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:12,944
- Six-foot hero!
108
00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:14,780
- Yeah!
It goes with the chips.
109
00:05:14,782 --> 00:05:16,682
- That's good! Good.
We get the chips, sandwich.
110
00:05:16,684 --> 00:05:18,050
We get some ice cream.
Yeah, yeah.
111
00:05:18,052 --> 00:05:19,318
Who can't do this?
112
00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:20,552
- Of course. You see?
113
00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:23,388
Six-foot hero--
now, that's a lot of food.
114
00:05:23,390 --> 00:05:24,656
I mean, who do we invite?
115
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,391
- Well, you gotta figure
a foot a person.
116
00:05:26,393 --> 00:05:27,926
- Right. Okay.
117
00:05:27,928 --> 00:05:30,395
I can invite
my girlfriend, amy,
118
00:05:30,397 --> 00:05:31,596
A couple guys
from the station.
119
00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:33,098
- I can get kevin
and andy--
120
00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:35,634
- Stop! Stop! Stop!
Stop! Stop!
121
00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:37,402
Just stop!
122
00:05:39,539 --> 00:05:43,442
This is your idea
of a party?
123
00:05:43,444 --> 00:05:47,512
- Didn't you hear?
6-foot hero.
124
00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:50,082
- Here.
125
00:05:50,084 --> 00:05:51,750
- Stan, lee, albert, lucy.
126
00:05:51,752 --> 00:05:53,018
Wha-wha-what's this?
127
00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:56,755
- This is a real guest list
for a party.
128
00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:57,823
- Lee and stan?
129
00:05:57,825 --> 00:06:00,792
That's a party?
130
00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:02,761
- This is not for you!
This is for your parents!
131
00:06:02,763 --> 00:06:04,029
You invite their friends.
132
00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:05,797
And you're not having
a hero sandwich.
133
00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:07,032
It's not a super bowl party.
134
00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:08,900
- Not with lee and stan
it's not.
135
00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:11,069
- All right.
You know what we're gonna do?
136
00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:12,738
We're gonna make it
a surprise party.
137
00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:14,039
We'll have a nice buffet,
138
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,507
Some crudites, pasta salad...
139
00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:16,908
- I thought you didn't
want to do this.
140
00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:18,410
- Well, I have to now
141
00:06:18,412 --> 00:06:21,847
Because I can't let
this chip fest happen.
142
00:06:21,849 --> 00:06:23,115
- Get a lot of ice.
143
00:06:23,117 --> 00:06:24,583
Put a lot of ice--
- yeah.
144
00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:25,684
- Hey, hey!
145
00:06:25,686 --> 00:06:27,519
- Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh!
146
00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:28,553
- Hi. Well, you're home early.
147
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:30,489
How was the happy zone?
148
00:06:30,491 --> 00:06:31,857
- I'm tired!
- Aww...
149
00:06:31,859 --> 00:06:33,625
- Of course you're tired,
150
00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:38,997
Because grandpa was too cheap
to park at the happy zone.
151
00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:41,133
- That lot costs
three bucks an hour.
152
00:06:41,135 --> 00:06:43,402
I found a meter
with time left on it.
153
00:06:43,404 --> 00:06:45,971
- 37 minutes? Ohh!
154
00:06:45,973 --> 00:06:48,507
We had to run back
so we wouldn't get a ticket.
155
00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:51,943
- You call what you do
running?
156
00:06:51,945 --> 00:06:54,079
- I saw other wives
being picked up at the door.
157
00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:58,417
- I wish I could pick up
another wife at the door.
158
00:07:03,556 --> 00:07:07,459
- Maybe we should throw 'em
separate parties.
159
00:07:09,862 --> 00:07:11,196
- Ooh...
160
00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:13,565
That was a wonderful brunch,
you two.
161
00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:15,700
It was lovely.
162
00:07:15,702 --> 00:07:18,136
- But...
163
00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:20,472
- It was a little much.
164
00:07:20,474 --> 00:07:21,840
- We just thought
that you would enjoy
165
00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:23,208
A nice anniversary brunch.
166
00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:25,744
- We don't enjoy things, dear.
167
00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:27,579
- Guess why.
168
00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:29,047
- All right. Come on. Come on.
169
00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:31,016
We're supposed to be
celebrating today, right?
170
00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:34,486
- This marriage is nothing
to celebrate.
171
00:07:34,488 --> 00:07:36,688
- But 40 years,
it's a big milestone.
172
00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:37,823
Think of all
the good times.
173
00:07:37,825 --> 00:07:39,958
- I had one good year.
174
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,092
- There you go.
175
00:07:41,094 --> 00:07:43,161
- The year
I left your mother.
176
00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:44,229
- Surpr--
- what?
177
00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:47,098
- Frank!
The children!
178
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:49,201
- What's the big secret?
We split up for a year.
179
00:07:49,203 --> 00:07:51,069
I came back, didn't I?
180
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:53,104
- Wait, wait, wait.
What are you talkin' about?
181
00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:55,941
- We almost got divorced.
182
00:07:55,943 --> 00:07:57,709
- What?
183
00:07:57,711 --> 00:07:58,877
- There's a sad word...
184
00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:00,579
Almost.
185
00:08:02,548 --> 00:08:04,483
- I suppose it can't hurt
to tell you now.
186
00:08:04,485 --> 00:08:06,017
We separated for a year.
187
00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:08,119
It was a terrible time.
188
00:08:08,121 --> 00:08:10,856
- Separated? When?
When was this?
189
00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:12,924
- Oh! It's not important,
dear.
190
00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:14,659
I have to go
to the bathroom.
191
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,828
- Well, I want to know.
No, wait, wait, wait.
192
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:19,130
- Surprise!
193
00:08:19,132 --> 00:08:20,732
Honk!
194
00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:28,006
- Look, frank, a party.
195
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:30,275
- Holy crap.
196
00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:31,576
- Oh, look...
197
00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:33,011
- Ma, what is this story?
198
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:35,714
- Mom, dad,
happy anniversary.
199
00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:38,216
Amy and I have prepared
a few remarks.
200
00:08:38,218 --> 00:08:39,551
- Come with me,
both of you.
201
00:08:39,553 --> 00:08:40,819
- No, no, no.
Your brother's talking.
202
00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:42,053
- [clears throat]
203
00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:45,557
Ehhhh!
204
00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:46,858
"webster's
unabridged dictionary
205
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:49,761
Defines wedlock as--"
206
00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:50,896
- Just keep toasting.
207
00:08:50,898 --> 00:08:52,063
I'll have them
back in a minute.
208
00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:53,765
- The toast
is for them.
209
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:55,000
- So's the cake.
210
00:08:55,002 --> 00:08:56,234
- Uh, you know what?
211
00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:57,969
This is just gonna take
a minute, so...
212
00:08:57,971 --> 00:09:00,038
I made a spinach boat,
so party down, everybody.
213
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,273
Hi.
214
00:09:01,275 --> 00:09:03,141
- Hey, I saw cannolis
in there.
215
00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:04,709
- Later.
Listen, I want to know--
216
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:07,712
- Oh, mel,
thanks for coming.
217
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:09,748
- You got any
decent scotch?
218
00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:11,182
- Come on.
219
00:09:11,184 --> 00:09:12,951
Mel, please, give us
a minute here.
220
00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:15,120
- I was told
there'd be widows here.
221
00:09:15,122 --> 00:09:18,557
[muttering]
222
00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:20,625
- In there.
223
00:09:20,627 --> 00:09:22,627
When were you guys
separated?
224
00:09:22,629 --> 00:09:24,896
- It was like 30 years ago.
225
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:27,866
- Ray, I think the time for this
is after the party, okay?
226
00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:29,200
- Nice, raymond.
227
00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:30,735
Very nice.
228
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:33,638
I practiced.
229
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:35,640
- Did you know mom and dad
were separated?
230
00:09:35,642 --> 00:09:37,842
- Again?
231
00:09:37,844 --> 00:09:39,210
- Wait, you knew?
232
00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:41,146
Where the hell was I
that year?
233
00:09:41,148 --> 00:09:42,647
- You were
watching television.
234
00:09:42,649 --> 00:09:43,949
- Yeah.
235
00:09:43,951 --> 00:09:46,217
"wild, wild west."
236
00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:47,586
- I'm sorry.
237
00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:48,954
Do you want to blow out
these candles?
238
00:09:48,956 --> 00:09:49,988
- Oh, how lovely.
239
00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:51,656
- No, no, no, no.
240
00:09:51,658 --> 00:09:53,024
No cake until I hear the story.
I'm sorry.
241
00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:55,927
- It's getting very hot.
242
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:57,629
- All right...
243
00:09:57,631 --> 00:09:59,297
Come on.
Let's hear it.
244
00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:00,665
- Okay.
245
00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:02,167
We'd been living
here in this house.
246
00:10:02,169 --> 00:10:03,969
We had had the kids, and...
247
00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:05,303
When I think about it,
248
00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:07,238
We were a lot like
you and debra.
249
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,673
- What?
250
00:10:08,675 --> 00:10:09,741
- What?
What do you mean?
251
00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:10,742
- Not like us.
252
00:10:10,744 --> 00:10:12,210
- Just like you two.
253
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,014
[theme from
"wild, wild west" plays]
254
00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:17,148
- I think, raymond,
you were six,
255
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:18,617
And robby was, uh...
256
00:10:18,619 --> 00:10:20,652
- Ten, ma.
It's ray plus four.
257
00:10:20,654 --> 00:10:21,953
- That's right.
258
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:25,323
But I remember frank and I
were just like you two.
259
00:10:30,162 --> 00:10:31,196
Everything was normal.
260
00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:34,065
We'd had our differences.
261
00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:37,736
But this was the day
I realized the man I married
262
00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:40,338
Had no respect for me
whatsoever.
263
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:45,877
- Don't make this
a production, marie.
264
00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:48,747
- I remember
I'd been cooking all day,
265
00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:50,315
And you were taking
your own sweet time
266
00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:54,285
Coming down for dinner.
267
00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:57,889
When I think of how many times
I yelled, "frank!"
268
00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:08,933
A nice pot roast,
269
00:11:08,935 --> 00:11:11,202
Little red potatoes,
270
00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:13,104
Carrots
cooked in the sauce.
271
00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:15,306
Before he even tasted
a bite,
272
00:11:15,308 --> 00:11:18,276
He had the nerve
to ask me for salt.
273
00:11:19,812 --> 00:11:22,113
- Salt gives it taste.
274
00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:24,315
- That roast had taste.
275
00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:27,385
It had oregano,
garlic, paprika.
276
00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:30,021
He wouldn't even try it.
277
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,423
- It's my house!
278
00:11:31,425 --> 00:11:34,893
I'm allowed to have salt
if I want!
279
00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:37,295
- Even if it destroys
another person?
280
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,700
[no audio]
281
00:11:43,102 --> 00:11:44,903
- You overreacted.
282
00:11:44,905 --> 00:11:47,338
You're always overreacting.
283
00:11:58,150 --> 00:11:59,884
- You're the one who left.
284
00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,219
- You threw me out.
285
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:04,756
- Champagne for everybody.
286
00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:05,990
- We're busy, mel.
287
00:12:05,992 --> 00:12:07,492
- I've met my bride.
- Congratulations.
288
00:12:07,494 --> 00:12:10,428
- And you thought
I was gay.
289
00:12:10,430 --> 00:12:12,797
- We, uh, should
get out there.
290
00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:14,299
- No, no, no.
Not until they finish.
291
00:12:14,301 --> 00:12:19,337
- Give me a break.
292
00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:22,774
- Please tell me that cheese
is from this party.
293
00:12:22,776 --> 00:12:25,510
- Okay, well,
after your father left,
294
00:12:25,512 --> 00:12:27,178
We didn't talk
for a long time,
295
00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:30,281
And I thought
it was over.
296
00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:32,183
- But then you realized
you made a big mistake
297
00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:33,785
And you got
back together, right?
298
00:12:33,787 --> 00:12:37,856
- Nah. Ray broke his arm.
299
00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:42,761
[theme from "bonanza" plays]
300
00:12:42,763 --> 00:12:43,962
- Wait a minute.
301
00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:45,930
Dad was there
when I broke my arm.
302
00:12:50,870 --> 00:12:53,404
- Yeah, I started coming by
to check on you.
303
00:12:59,311 --> 00:13:02,514
- Yeah, you were very concerned
about raymond.
304
00:13:08,387 --> 00:13:14,192
- He was very sweet
with you, raymond.
305
00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:16,261
- Well, his arm was busted.
306
00:13:21,834 --> 00:13:24,335
- Everything kind of worked out
from there.
307
00:13:29,842 --> 00:13:32,577
[no audio]
308
00:14:01,974 --> 00:14:04,042
- How about that, ray?
309
00:14:04,044 --> 00:14:06,211
There wouldn't even have been
a 40th anniversary
310
00:14:06,213 --> 00:14:08,046
If it wasn't
for your little arm, huh?
311
00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:09,547
- Yeah.
312
00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:11,449
- Can we go now?
I'm out of cheese.
313
00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:13,351
- You just came
from brunch.
314
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:18,556
- Yeah, like you're not
gonna eat again.
315
00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:20,225
- I'm going in.
You with me?
316
00:14:20,227 --> 00:14:21,526
- Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
317
00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:23,294
Doesn't that story
bother you?
318
00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:24,429
- No. Why should it?
319
00:14:24,431 --> 00:14:26,130
It's water under the bridge.
320
00:14:26,132 --> 00:14:27,999
We all turned out okay.
321
00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:29,234
Crunch!
322
00:14:31,303 --> 00:14:32,904
- God, all this time
323
00:14:32,906 --> 00:14:35,473
I thought
my parents ruined my life.
324
00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:37,575
It turns out
I ruined theirs.
325
00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:39,043
- You didn't ruin theirs.
326
00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:40,411
They got back together
because of you.
327
00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:41,446
- Right!
328
00:14:41,448 --> 00:14:43,214
They could've stayed apart,
329
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,582
Met other people,
330
00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:46,951
Led happy,
fulfilling lives.
331
00:14:46,953 --> 00:14:48,553
- Your parents.
332
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:50,121
- They were different then.
333
00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:51,489
Didn't you hear my mom?
334
00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:53,491
Back then, they were
just like you and me.
335
00:14:53,493 --> 00:14:56,094
- Yeah, that was
the worst part of that story.
336
00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:58,463
- Debra, dear, the guests
are dipping their cups
337
00:14:58,465 --> 00:15:00,632
Into the punchbowl,
since there's no ladle.
338
00:15:00,634 --> 00:15:04,469
Is that how
you intended it?
339
00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:06,504
- I'll get a ladle.
340
00:15:08,474 --> 00:15:10,375
And they all lived
happily ever after.
341
00:15:18,651 --> 00:15:19,617
- Do you know
what time it is?
342
00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:21,119
Come to bed.
343
00:15:21,121 --> 00:15:23,087
- Can't sleep.
344
00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:24,122
- Oh, listen.
345
00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:25,423
You got to stop
feeling guilty
346
00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:27,225
About getting
your parents back together.
347
00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:28,493
You know what?
348
00:15:28,495 --> 00:15:32,397
Think of them
as, like, a terrible virus.
349
00:15:32,399 --> 00:15:33,698
If they had met
other people,
350
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:35,333
The misery
would've spread.
351
00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:38,403
You kept it contained.
352
00:15:38,405 --> 00:15:39,971
- It's more than that.
353
00:15:39,973 --> 00:15:41,205
- Oh, what,
we're on to something worse?
354
00:15:41,207 --> 00:15:42,607
- Yes.
355
00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:45,510
- Okay, what are we
having tonight, ray?
356
00:15:45,512 --> 00:15:47,078
- I don't know.
357
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:50,581
What if you and me...
358
00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:52,016
- What?
359
00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:54,719
- What if--what if we end up
like my parents,
360
00:15:54,721 --> 00:15:56,487
Staying together
just for the kids?
361
00:15:56,489 --> 00:15:57,689
- That would never happen
362
00:15:57,691 --> 00:16:00,224
Because I would take
the kids
363
00:16:00,226 --> 00:16:02,193
And the house.
364
00:16:02,195 --> 00:16:04,462
Here. You can finish that.
365
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:06,064
Ray!
366
00:16:06,066 --> 00:16:07,632
What, you don't think
we're happy?
367
00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:09,600
- Yeah, sure,
now we're happy.
368
00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:11,336
It's easy to be happy now.
369
00:16:11,338 --> 00:16:13,471
- But you're thinking,
like, what, in 20 years...
370
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,273
- Well, who knows?
371
00:16:15,275 --> 00:16:17,442
My parents must have
been happy once.
372
00:16:17,444 --> 00:16:19,143
If you look
at their wedding pictures,
373
00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:20,712
They're actually smiling
374
00:16:20,714 --> 00:16:22,080
In some of them.
375
00:16:22,082 --> 00:16:23,648
- Ray!
376
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:26,284
We don't have
to become them.
377
00:16:26,286 --> 00:16:28,252
- They didn't want
to become them!
378
00:16:28,254 --> 00:16:29,520
Nobody wants
to become them!
379
00:16:29,522 --> 00:16:31,122
It--it just happens!
380
00:16:31,124 --> 00:16:33,124
- Nobody else
can become them.
381
00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:35,493
This happened to them
because they're them!
382
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:37,128
- No!
383
00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:39,163
It happened
because they settled.
384
00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:41,065
Look, they got back together
because of my arm,
385
00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:42,567
And by the time it healed,
386
00:16:42,569 --> 00:16:44,736
They forgot that they were
never supposed to be together.
387
00:16:44,738 --> 00:16:46,337
Now they're stuck.
388
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:48,006
Till death do they part.
389
00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:49,440
- Oh, they're not stuck.
390
00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:51,042
I mean, come on,
think about it.
391
00:16:51,044 --> 00:16:53,778
There has to be a reason
other than you
392
00:16:53,780 --> 00:16:57,682
Why that marriage
has lasted 40 years, hmm?
393
00:16:57,684 --> 00:16:59,617
Got to be another reason.
394
00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:02,787
- Yeah.
What might that be?
395
00:17:02,789 --> 00:17:05,590
- Spite.
396
00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:08,326
- How is this helping?
397
00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:10,128
- All I know is,
398
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:11,529
I love you.
399
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,064
Right?
We love each other.
400
00:17:13,066 --> 00:17:14,465
That's why we're together.
401
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:16,200
Love.
402
00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:17,535
Isn't that enough?
403
00:17:20,105 --> 00:17:22,306
- Yeah,
404
00:17:22,308 --> 00:17:25,343
If you want to put all
your eggs in that basket.
405
00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:34,552
- I just don't know how
you could say that to maxine.
406
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:35,753
- What did I say?
407
00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:37,488
- What did you say?
408
00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:42,427
It's called
a mental health facility, frank.
409
00:17:42,429 --> 00:17:44,562
You don't walk up to somebody
who's just been released
410
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:48,533
And say,
"how was the loony bin?"
411
00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:49,534
- She thought it was funny.
412
00:17:49,536 --> 00:17:51,069
She laughed.
413
00:17:51,071 --> 00:17:52,336
- She laughs at everything,
frank.
414
00:17:52,338 --> 00:17:56,507
She's out of her mind.
415
00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:58,409
- Hi.
416
00:17:58,411 --> 00:17:59,844
- Oh, hi.
417
00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:02,246
Did you see how your father
behaved yesterday?
418
00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:03,481
- There was nothing
wrong with me,
419
00:18:03,483 --> 00:18:04,715
And it's my house!
420
00:18:04,717 --> 00:18:06,284
- So that gives you
the right
421
00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:07,819
To unbuckle your pants
in front of people?
422
00:18:07,821 --> 00:18:09,587
- What people?
It's lee and stan.
423
00:18:11,256 --> 00:18:15,259
And maxine thought
that was hysterical.
424
00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:16,494
- You're impossible.
425
00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:18,096
- What about you...
426
00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:19,564
Wanting to dance.
427
00:18:19,566 --> 00:18:20,765
- It was a party.
428
00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:22,867
- Yes! People are eating.
429
00:18:22,869 --> 00:18:27,138
Exactly why you shouldn't dance.
430
00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:29,240
- All right, stop it.
Stop it, will you?
431
00:18:29,242 --> 00:18:30,675
How can you keep
doing this?
432
00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:31,742
- What do you mean?
433
00:18:31,744 --> 00:18:34,679
We're having breakfast.
434
00:18:34,681 --> 00:18:36,547
- Do you hear yourselves?
435
00:18:36,549 --> 00:18:37,849
- What are you yelling?
436
00:18:37,851 --> 00:18:39,750
We're having
a conversation.
437
00:18:39,752 --> 00:18:41,385
- No, no, no, you're not.
438
00:18:41,387 --> 00:18:42,520
This is not a conversation.
439
00:18:42,522 --> 00:18:43,654
This is--it's bickering.
440
00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:45,156
That's all you do.
441
00:18:45,158 --> 00:18:46,791
- Who are you to tell us
what we do?
442
00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:48,493
Leave us alone.
443
00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:49,861
The next time
you want to dance,
444
00:18:49,863 --> 00:18:53,865
Give me notice
so I can kill myself.
445
00:18:53,867 --> 00:18:56,601
- Good.
I'll dance on your grave.
446
00:18:56,603 --> 00:18:58,136
How are the eggs?
447
00:18:58,138 --> 00:18:59,604
- Mmm. They're good.
Could use some more.
448
00:18:59,606 --> 00:19:01,506
- Okay, you want some eggs,
honey?
449
00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:03,508
Sit down.
450
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:04,642
- Where are the peppers?
451
00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:06,144
- There are no peppers.
452
00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:07,378
You always
ask for peppers,
453
00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:08,713
And then
you get heartburn.
454
00:19:08,715 --> 00:19:11,883
- It's not from the peppers!
455
00:19:11,885 --> 00:19:13,651
Here.
Get in on some of this.
456
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:16,754
- Here.
Here's the salt.
457
00:19:16,756 --> 00:19:18,789
- Is robert here?
458
00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:20,158
- He's watching television.
459
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:24,162
How are you eating?
460
00:19:24,164 --> 00:19:26,464
Close your mouth
before you chew.
461
00:19:26,466 --> 00:19:29,367
- Close your mouth
before you talk.
462
00:19:31,904 --> 00:19:33,671
Mmm! These eggs are good.
463
00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:34,739
- Good.
464
00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:42,346
- Hey.
- Hey.
465
00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:43,814
- Let me ask you
something.
466
00:19:43,816 --> 00:19:47,218
They're, like, happy
in there, aren't they?
467
00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:48,886
- What do you mean?
468
00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:51,189
- I mean--I mean
they're, like, happy
469
00:19:51,191 --> 00:19:52,490
The way they are.
470
00:19:52,492 --> 00:19:53,925
- Yeah.
471
00:19:53,927 --> 00:19:55,259
Of course they're happy.
472
00:19:55,261 --> 00:19:56,761
Thank god.
473
00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:59,830
Otherwise living here
would be very stressful.
474
00:20:04,236 --> 00:20:06,804
- So I guess it wasn't
just my arm, then, huh?
475
00:20:06,806 --> 00:20:09,240
- Oh, yeah, your arm.
476
00:20:09,242 --> 00:20:11,342
You know, I've been meaning
to tell you about that.
477
00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:12,643
You know how you
fell off your bike?
478
00:20:12,645 --> 00:20:14,345
- Yeah.
479
00:20:14,347 --> 00:20:18,583
- Well, you didn't just
fall off your bike.
480
00:20:18,585 --> 00:20:20,551
- What do you mean?
481
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:24,388
[theme from
"wild, wild west" plays]
482
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:26,224
- Well, dad was away
so long, you know,
483
00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:27,592
I figured he might
come home sooner
484
00:20:27,594 --> 00:20:28,993
If you had a little...
Accident.
485
00:20:54,419 --> 00:20:59,390
- Are you...Crazy?
486
00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:01,759
I--I flipped
over the handlebars!
487
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:03,661
I could've been killed!
488
00:21:03,663 --> 00:21:06,597
- Well, I thought of that.
489
00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:08,766
Then dad would have
come to the funeral.
490
00:21:10,569 --> 00:21:11,802
I'm glad we talked
about this.
491
00:21:11,804 --> 00:21:14,038
It's been on my mind.
492
00:21:22,781 --> 00:21:25,349
- How about the time
I fell out of the tree house?
493
00:21:25,351 --> 00:21:28,686
- You.
494
00:21:28,688 --> 00:21:30,521
- Bunk bed collapsing?
495
00:21:30,523 --> 00:21:33,491
- Me.
496
00:21:37,996 --> 00:21:40,564
- Dart in the leg.
497
00:21:40,566 --> 00:21:41,966
- Me. Accident!
498
00:21:49,541 --> 00:21:50,574
- Hamster dying.
499
00:21:50,576 --> 00:21:52,076
- God.
500
00:21:54,546 --> 00:21:58,816
- The time
I almost drowned.
501
00:21:58,818 --> 00:22:01,052
- Lake or ocean?
502
00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:09,593
- Lake.
503
00:22:09,595 --> 00:22:11,696
- You.
34040
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