All language subtitles for Everybody.Loves.Raymond.S01E21.Fascinating.Debra.720p.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-BS

- There you go.
- Thanks.

- Ray barone.
- Desmond howard.

Hi, hi.
Thanks for the interview.

Congratulations
on that super bowl mvp thing.

- Thanks,
I saw your article about it.

That was great.
- Huh, I wish you were my boss.

- What?
He didn't like it?

- Yeah.

- Well, how'd you
hand it in?

- I mean,
I gave it to him.

- That's it?
When you do a good job,

You've got to let them know.

When I do my job well,
I let everybody know.

I slow down
at the five-yard line--

I start doing
a little robot,

Spike the ball,

Everybody's
in the crowd feeling it.

- That's showboating.

- No, man,
that's sharing the moment.

That's letting the people know
you've got something special.

Now, I'm your boss.
Give me your article.

[scoffs]
mean it this time.

- What do you mean?

- I mean,
show me what you got.

- I didn't come with much,
really.

- Ray, show me something.

[laughs hysterically]

Or maybe you should just
hand it in with a smile.

- Yeah.
[laughs]

Hi, I'm ray,

And I live here
in long island

With my wife, debra.

She's great
with the kids,

The house,
everything.

Oh, I don't know
how she does it.

We've got
a daughter, ally,

And twin
two-year-old boys.

It's not really
about the kids.

My parents live
across the street.

That's right,

And my brother
lives with them.

Now, not every family

Would go by
on a conveyer belt for you,

But mine would,
because--

- Everybody
loves raymond.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Hey.

Miss me?

- Uh-huh.

[whispering]
I'm not talking to you.

- I'm not talking
to you either.

- Yeah, well, you know,
it's just that sometimes

I feel like there's
not enough time.

Well, yeah,
you're right, as always.

Yeah.
Oh, well, no.

Thank you
for being so understanding.

Okay, bye.

- Who was that?
- Shh.

[on radio] you know,
it's just that sometimes

I feel like there's
not enough time.

- You're on the radio?

- Your husband's
not a mind reader, debra.

- Husband?

- Tell him what you need.

- Need?

Thank you
for being so understanding.

- And thank you
for joining me today

On "it's your problem."

I'm dr. Nora sarazin.

Good night,
and remember,

You've got no one to blame
but yourself.

- Whoo!

Mmm, hi, honey.

- You're talking about me
to some radio shrink?

- Ray, she's one of the most
respected psychotherapists

In the country.

I was lucky
to get through.

- Well, what did you
say to her?

- It's just that I called

Because some other caller
was saying

How she didn't feel
appreciated--

Some hooker
from dallas.

- Wait a minute.

So you don't feel
appreciated.

- Well, it's just
that we don't get to spend

A lot of time together.

And dr. Nora says that can lead
to feeling unappreciated.

- Oh, what the hell
is she talking about?

I appreciate you.

By the way,
thanks for--

Everything.

- Yeah, you--

[telephone rings]

- Hello.

Oh, yeah, right here.

It's dr. Nora.

- Shut up.
Sure.

Hello.

[whispering]
ray, it's dr. Nora!

Hi, there.

Uh-huh.
[chopping]

Do you have to do that now?

Stop it.

Uh-huh.

Oh, really?

Wow.

That would be terrific.
[ice cubes clanking]

Shh!

Yeah.
- What?

- Oh, my god.

I am so flattered.

[rustling]

When would that be?

Yeah.

[snap]

Yeah, I think
that would be fine.

[snap]

No, it would--
well, listen,

It's great talking to you,

'cause I've been listening
to you for years, and--

Yes--okay, well,
thank you so much.

Okay, take care.
Okay, bye.

Ray! Bags!

Do you know
what that was?

Do you know
what that was?

- A magical illusion.

- Dr. Nora is coming here.

- Wha-what are you--
get out of here.

Why here?

- She wants to interview me
for a book she's doing

On the american family.

- Why you?

- Because she says

I'm part of
a vanishing breed:

The housewife.

- I called you that.

You made me sit
in the garage.

- Honey, I can't believe
she's coming here!

Now, listen.

She means a lot to me.

So you can't be doing
all this--stuff, okay?

You got to look like
someone I would be with.

- I'm not going to be
with you tomorrow

'cause I'm going golfing.

- You have to be here, ray.

- Aww--
- the book's about families.

And listen, she loves to ask
really tough questions,

So we got to get
our story straight.

- Story straight?

What'd we do,
knock over a 7-eleven?

- Okay, now, that's exactly
the kind of thing

That is going
to kill us,

Your sense of "humor."

- In sports, the international
basketball league

Was busy last night--

- Hey, hey, hey,
what are you doing?

- Turning off the tv.

You know, in fact,
we should move the tv.

This is the focal point
of our living room.

- It's the focal point
of our lives.

- Ray, just move this
into the den, okay?

[doorbell rings]

[gasps]
oh, my god, that's her.

No, no, no, no.
I'll get it.

I'll get it.
I'll get it.

Just, ray, please.
All right?

- Please what?

- Just...
Please.

- Hello.
- Hi!

- Debra?

- Yes. Oh, my god.
Come on in.

This is unbelievable.

Ray, this is dr. Sarazin.

- There's no reason
to be so formal.

Call me dr. Nora.

- [laughing]

Dr. Nora.

Stupid.

[laughing]

- You have a lovely home.
- Oh, thanks.

You know, we're going to
repaint this room.

- Too many bad memories here.

[chuckles]
- [laughing]

[debra laughs]

- And, uh--well,
these are our two boys,

Geoffrey and michael.

- What adorable twins.

- Oh, thank you.

- It is good
you dress them differently.

- Well, of course,

Because they're
two different people

With different
personalities.

And--and this is
my daughter, ally.

- Hello!

What are you drawing there,
ally?

- Naked barbies.

- Um--honey,

Why don't we draw barbie
building something, huh?

- She could still be naked.

- [laughing]

- [laughing]
I know.

Isn't he funny?

- Can you go soon?

- Okay, sweetie,
it's nap time now, okay?

- You want me
to get 'em up?

- Oh, no, I'll get 'em.

I love caring
for the children.

You know that.

It's so...
Fulfilling.

[cooing]
okay, come on.

Come on, ally, let's go.

I'll read you a story, okay?

I'll be just a minute,
all right?

And, uh, ray.

Don't--

- Don't what?
- Just don't.

- So, ray, what's it like
having three children

Under the age of five?

- Well--

I like to tell people
it's kind of like a frat house.

Yeah.

Nobody sleeps,
everything's broken,

And there's a lot
of throwing up.

- Can I quote you?

- Why, you like that?

- Oh, yeah, I do.

- Get back in the crib now!

- Said the mama bear
to the three little bears.

She tells great stories, deb.

[knock on door]
- ray--

There's a big black car
parked in your driveway.

- Yeah, debra's got some
company, all right, so--

- You know who drives
big black cars?

The feds.

- It's my car.

I'm here to see debra.

- Ooh, wait a minute.

Say something else.

- Hello.
I'm dr. Nora.

- Oh, that voice.

Are you dr. Nora?

- That's me.

- Ohh! Oh ho ho!

I can't tell you
what a huge fan I am of yours.

You taught me
to express myself.

- Thanks a bunch, lady.

- These are
the kind of parents

That keep you
in business.

- We live
right across the street.

- Really?

- How you fixed for pie, ray?

- I take it the boundaries
are rather informal.

- Oh, they're rather invisible,
really.

- Oh, you and I
have a lot in common.

- All right, ma,
dr. Nora's got time

To write you
one quick prescription,

Then you got to go, okay?

- Oh, I am so glad that debra's
seeing someone, you know.

I mean,
just between us,

What's wrong with her?

- So you're a radio doctor, huh?
- Uh-huh.

- You wouldn't think
you'd have to be on the radio

With that figure.

- Frank!

- It's a compliment.

- Yeah, he used to write
for hallmark, my father.

- You still don't know
how to behave, do you?

- Hey, leave me alone.
I'm talking.

- You're not talking;
you're embarrassing.

You always do that to me.

Like with lee and stan
in the restaurant.

- [singing] I'm not listening
anymore, doo-dah, doo-dah

- He does that to try
to drown me out.

[singing] oh, frank barone,
will you shut up tonight

Shut up tonight

Shut up tonight

[both singing
over each other]

Shut up tonight,
shut up tonight

- All right, dad, stop it.
Mom!

Look, company.

- Ray, come here.

Dr. Nora is here
to talk to me,

Not to--
peaches and herb.

- I know. All right.

I'm going to get rid of them.

Don't call my mother herb.

[knock on door]

- Hey.

- Ray--

- Oh, robert!

I want you
to meet dr. Nora,

The famous psychologist
from the radio.

- Hello!

- Is this about me?

- Um--actually,
it's not about any of you.

Dr. Nora is here
to talk to me,

So thanks for visiting--

- Oh, debra, I would love
if they would stay.

I think they'd add
an interesting dimension

To the piece.

- Hey, chips.

- [mumbling]
you hear that?

We're interesting.

- And your husband
is very funny.

- She's going to quote me.

- Well, you know, actually,

That's why I married him,
dr. Nora,

For his sense of humor.

We met when I was doing p.R.
For a hockey team.

And I know what
you're going to say.

"oh, a woman in hockey?"

But actually, um,
it wasn't as--um--

I--well--

I'm not sure
if that's the, uh,

Kind of information
that you're looking for.

Would you like me to get right
to our sex life?

- Excuse me.

Are you very nervous
right now,

Or do you do that
all the time?

- Do what?

[door opens]

- Hey.

[door closes]

Hmm-mm.

All right, I'm no expert
in body language, but--

Stop yelling.

- Dr. Nora was supposed
to be here for me,

Not your family,
and by the end,

She didn't even know
I was in the room.

- Sure, she did.

Who did she think
was bringing her all that--pie?

Look, of course she was
interested in them.

Some shrinks got to go
to 40 institutions

To find all the action she found
in that room today.

- Yeah, she was
pretty interested

In you too, huh?

- And me--

Little bit.

I think she was
very impressed

With my weekly underwear
schedule.

Huh? Eight years.

Eight years
you made fun of me.

Come on.

- Dr. Nora
thought I was boring.

- Look, you're not boring.

You're--normal.

All right? That's good.

I prayed for normal
every night.

Then I'd fall asleep

To the sound of my brother
naming his toes.

There was, uh, fat tony,

Jimmy the weasel,

Billy, stretch,
and tastes bad.

- [sighs]

I was so excited
that dr. Nora was coming here,

But there's no way
I could follow

The dysfunctional
family circus.

- Well, you should've went on
before them.

Look, maybe if you'd
been yourself,

Dr. Nora would've
been more interested.

Why did you go put on
a big act for her?

- Because I am boring!

There's, you know,
nothing about me

That's--you know,
like, quirky

Or funny,
or interesting.

What are you doing?

- Um, there's a little
left in there.

Sorry.

- No, see, that's
exactly my problem.

I don't do that.

- Do what?
- Lick the bowl!

I mean, that's the kind
of great weird stuff

You freakin' guys
do all the time.

- What? What do you mean, this?
You could do this.

You--come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come to the dark side.

Come on.

Lick the bowl.

"I won't hurt you.

I'm just a bowl,
that's all."

All right,
we'll work on it.

- Look, ray, just tell me
something, okay?

Do you think that I'm--

Thank you very much
for your answer, ray.

- Oh, come on.
I didn't say anything.

Come on, deb.

Deb--

- Ally, want some
chocolate milk?

Yeah? Yeah.

Ally, how did you
think of that?

- It's easy.

- Guess you just have to be
a blood relative.

- Hello, dear.

- Hi.

- Oh, what's for dinner?

- Just turkey dogs.

- Turkey dogs?

What an interesting choice.

- Well, I have them every week.

- That's totally, uh, insane.

- What?

- What he means is

You've got some
imagination there, debra.

- Where are you going, honey?

- Can I be excused?

- Well, you didn't
finish your hot dog.

- It tastes
like chocolate milk.

- Okay.

- Isn't she marvelous
with the kids, huh?

So, uh, offbeat.

- So--debra.
Hi.

- Hi.

- Oh, look.

You're wearing slippers
and socks at the same time.

That's--that is
so unique and different.

- Okay. All right.

You can all stop now.
I get it.

- Stop what?

- Trying to make me feel
like I'm interesting.

It's a very nice effort,
but it's a little transparent.

- What's she talking about?

- That's that imagination again.

- All right already.

- Hey, honey. What's up?

- Guess what, ray.

Your family came over

To convince me
that I'm fascinating.

- What do you mean?
All at once?

Not one at a time,

Which would be the smart,
subtle way?

- You know, when you're feeling
really bad about yourself,

There's nothing to make you
feel better

Than being patronized.

Thank you very much, ray.

- You're welcome.

What did you do?
What did you do?

- Well, we tried
to do what you said,

But she didn't give us
much to work with.

- Socks and slippers.

- Okay, I'm very boring!

Yes, I know.

I'm very boring, okay?

- Oh, honey, I would never
call you boring.

You--you--you just lack
a certain--

- Flair!

- Flair, like all of you have.

- Well, your dr. Nora
seems to think so.

- Yeah, she's sending
a photographer over

To take our picture.

- All right, stop helping out.
Thanks.

- No, no, that's okay.

They're right.
I'm not interesting.

I don't have flair.

I mean, maybe I would
have flair if I, uh--

Oh, barged into people's houses
50 times a day going, uh,

"oh, what's that, dear?

"oh, frosting in a can.
[chuckling]

So much easier than homemade."

Yeah, yeah,
or what about,

"I smelled
something questionable

"in the refrigerator.

Ooh, ooh,
it's gotten worse."

[frank and robert chuckling]

- She's doing you.

- Maybe this is
more interesting, huh?

"how you fixed for pie,
sweetheart?"

- Take it easy, huh?
Stop it.

- [singing]
I'm not listening anymore

Doo-dah, doo-dah

- She's very good,
I'm telling you.

- She's very good.

You're very interesting too.
That's all.

- How about this for some
fascinating behavior, huh?

Yeah.

"oh, gee.
Never ends for raymond.

"hmm. No.
You're a lucky man, raymond.

Lucky man."

No, no. Oh, no, no.

Everybody loves raymond.

Everybody
just loves raymond.

Everybody loves raymond.

Everybody
just loves raymond.

- Do me now.

- Got the aspirin.
- Oh, thanks.

- Feeling better?

- I think
I popped something.

Don't worry, though.

I'll go over in the morning
and apologize, all right?

- You can go over there,
but don't apologize.

Just do the act again.

They loved you, huh?

You were afraid
you were boring.

- Yeah, but, I mean,
that wasn't me, ray.

That was them.

Nothing funny about me
to imitate, you know.

- What are you talking about?

Here, I'll do you.

"ray, get off of me.

It's not your birthday."

I'm kidding, all right?

You don't say that--
exactly.

- Ray, you just, you know,
you don't know what it's like

To go through your whole life
just--normal.

- You don't get it.
You got to be normal.

I mean, look at all of us.

We need a normal one.

- God, that's true.

- That's why I married you.

Hey, you know what?

You are weird.

- Oh, you're just saying that
to be nice.

- No. Uh-uh. Listen.

Why would any normal person

Put up with us
for as long as you have?

- I don't know.

- That--that's right.

I was born into this family.

I'm stuck with them, but--

What kind of weirdo
would choose to be one of us?

There's something
wrong with you.

- You know,
you really think so?

You think something's wrong
with me?

- Well, of course.
Look at you.

How could you explain it?

- Yeah, I think you're right.

I'm really weird.
- You're weird.

You're a sick,
twisted individual.

- Really twisted, yeah.

Ray--

- Give yourself some credit.
- Yeah.

- Hey, you know, you imitated
everybody today except me.

- I can't do you.

- Come on.
- No, I can't.

- Go ahead.
Give it a try.

- "ohh, no--

"honey, there's something wrong
with the shower."

"get out of here."

"ooh, my rash is back."

- You know, it isn't funny
if it hurts the other person.

You know that.