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1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,441
I am the vampire recorder.
2
00:00:03,561 --> 00:00:06,521
She's going to wipe us out.
She's going to save the world.
3
00:00:06,641 --> 00:00:08,681
- Remove your weapon.
- Hal, please!
4
00:00:08,801 --> 00:00:10,841
- Who sent you here?
- Move in here!
5
00:00:10,961 --> 00:00:12,161
Are you somehow drunk?
6
00:00:12,281 --> 00:00:13,281
Griffin's dead.
7
00:00:13,401 --> 00:00:16,001
We seriously need to sort our shit out
before the old ones arrive.
8
00:00:16,041 --> 00:00:17,921
What we need now is fists and fangs.
9
00:00:18,041 --> 00:00:19,601
The other guy?
10
00:00:19,721 --> 00:00:21,161
He called him hal.
11
00:00:21,281 --> 00:00:23,201
He called him what?
12
00:00:32,081 --> 00:00:34,921
Look, I'm not going to kill you.
13
00:00:35,041 --> 00:00:37,561
I want to, but he won't let me.
14
00:00:37,681 --> 00:00:39,201
He says it's protocol.
15
00:00:44,921 --> 00:00:49,641
Ah! It's not that I don't
have a stomach for killing.
16
00:00:49,761 --> 00:00:54,521
Believe me, I've killed a truly
astonishing number of people.
17
00:00:54,641 --> 00:00:57,841
Me and my friend have
cut a swathe across Europe.
18
00:00:57,961 --> 00:00:59,641
We're like a plague.
19
00:00:59,761 --> 00:01:03,201
And then the bloody war came along
and ballsed it all up.
20
00:01:06,481 --> 00:01:09,201
Ah, well. Please yourself.
21
00:01:31,401 --> 00:01:34,521
Sorry about the mess. We're home on leave.
22
00:01:34,641 --> 00:01:37,201
We couldn't be bothered to get the coach
all the way to Richmond,
23
00:01:37,241 --> 00:01:39,041
and thought we liked the look
of this place.
24
00:01:40,921 --> 00:01:43,681
My friend can get a bit carnal.
25
00:01:43,801 --> 00:01:47,001
Pretty girls bring out the beast in him,
you see.
26
00:01:48,561 --> 00:01:50,081
Shall I tell you a secret?
27
00:01:52,161 --> 00:01:55,481
I think the others are scared of him.
28
00:01:56,641 --> 00:02:00,201
Ivan, wyndham, Jacob. Even hettie.
29
00:02:00,321 --> 00:02:03,041
Not mr snow, obviously.
30
00:02:03,161 --> 00:02:05,921
Sometimes, I think
the only demon worse than him
31
00:02:06,041 --> 00:02:09,961
must be the one he's fleeing from.
But I'm not scared of him.
32
00:02:11,401 --> 00:02:15,201
- Don't tell him I said that.
- Hal: Don't tell him you said what?
33
00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:24,201
Christ, not another one.
34
00:02:25,521 --> 00:02:29,161
How may servants does this house have?
35
00:02:29,281 --> 00:02:32,921
Anything over 20 for a house this size
is just showing off.
36
00:02:34,281 --> 00:02:35,521
I'll leave you to her.
37
00:02:35,641 --> 00:02:37,321
Pop down to the cellar.
38
00:02:39,961 --> 00:02:43,241
A little something for you -
one of the daughters.
39
00:02:44,361 --> 00:02:46,601
- You shouldn't have.
- Leave.
40
00:03:29,921 --> 00:03:31,121
Let's go shopping.
41
00:03:34,801 --> 00:03:37,681
Eat you right up.
42
00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:39,161
Hey, couldn't I?
43
00:03:39,281 --> 00:03:42,401
Aren't you just a darling, aren't you?
44
00:03:42,521 --> 00:03:43,961
Aren't you?
45
00:03:44,081 --> 00:03:46,281
I could just eat you up.
46
00:04:06,041 --> 00:04:08,401
So, is mum at work?
47
00:04:08,521 --> 00:04:09,841
No, she's dead.
48
00:04:09,961 --> 00:04:13,041
Oh! I'm so sorry.
49
00:04:13,161 --> 00:04:16,001
That's really brave of you
bringing her up on your own.
50
00:04:16,121 --> 00:04:18,561
Really brave. Being a single dad.
51
00:04:18,681 --> 00:04:20,361
No, I'm not her dad. He's dead and all.
52
00:04:20,481 --> 00:04:24,001
So, what happened? Was it a car crash?
Did you adopt her?
53
00:04:24,121 --> 00:04:26,841
No, they were killed by some bad men
and, well, my dad was, as well,
54
00:04:26,961 --> 00:04:29,441
so we're looking after her.
55
00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:31,561
That's good of you.
56
00:04:31,681 --> 00:04:34,681
Well, she ain't got no-one else,
and we're worried the bad men
57
00:04:34,801 --> 00:04:37,681
might come and kill her,
but we're doing all right, so...
58
00:04:37,801 --> 00:04:40,361
Well, that's something.
59
00:04:45,481 --> 00:04:47,081
Ooh, dear me!
60
00:04:48,761 --> 00:04:51,401
Well, nice chatting to you. See you later.
61
00:04:54,161 --> 00:04:57,201
Can't believe that I'm a thief now.
Common criminal.
62
00:04:57,321 --> 00:04:59,561
I feel sick. Can I even be sick?
63
00:04:59,681 --> 00:05:01,761
It's not stealing if it's a big shop,
mcnair said.
64
00:05:01,881 --> 00:05:04,441
I used to blush when I took a free sample.
What's happened to me?
65
00:05:04,561 --> 00:05:07,001
She needed food.
66
00:05:07,121 --> 00:05:10,281
Yes, I know she did.
It's just... it feels so wrong.
67
00:05:34,761 --> 00:05:36,001
You need to get a job.
68
00:05:36,121 --> 00:05:37,241
I'm sorry?
69
00:05:37,361 --> 00:05:39,761
Um, we need money for Eve, hal.
We can't go on like this.
70
00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:42,001
Swanning around
on your backside all day.
71
00:05:42,121 --> 00:05:44,161
Think I'm relaxing?
72
00:05:44,281 --> 00:05:47,601
This is me holding on by my fingernails.
73
00:05:47,721 --> 00:05:51,441
And going to work? Out of the question.
74
00:05:54,281 --> 00:05:56,121
Ok. Erm...
75
00:05:56,241 --> 00:05:59,121
Um, I do understand that
this might be difficult for you, hal,
76
00:05:59,241 --> 00:06:02,721
but you can't really expect
to stay here for nothing.
77
00:06:03,801 --> 00:06:06,201
Why aren't you loaded, anyway?
78
00:06:06,321 --> 00:06:08,641
Vampires live for ever.
Even with a basic bank account,
79
00:06:08,761 --> 00:06:10,721
your compound interest
would be through the roof.
80
00:06:12,281 --> 00:06:14,161
Mcnair said.
81
00:06:14,281 --> 00:06:17,321
A series of unwise investments
before the crash.
82
00:06:17,441 --> 00:06:19,201
Look, on my list, it clearly states...
83
00:06:19,321 --> 00:06:20,441
Oh, stuff your list.
84
00:06:20,561 --> 00:06:22,897
If you want to carry on living here,
you've got to pay your way.
85
00:06:22,921 --> 00:06:23,961
Annie?
86
00:06:25,321 --> 00:06:26,321
Please.
87
00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:31,921
Keeping away from people is part of
how I manage my condition.
88
00:06:33,241 --> 00:06:35,321
Yes, hal, but you have been dry
for over 50 years.
89
00:06:35,441 --> 00:06:39,961
So, surely you can manage just a couple
of weeks out there in the real world.
90
00:06:40,081 --> 00:06:43,361
And if you do start eating people,
we'll just have to try something else.
91
00:06:43,481 --> 00:06:46,201
Where? Hmm?
92
00:06:46,321 --> 00:06:50,321
Where will I work?
Jobs don't just fall off trees, you know?
93
00:06:52,561 --> 00:06:53,561
Kill me.
94
00:06:54,921 --> 00:06:59,601
Seriously, kill me now. You can tell Annie
I attacked you, or something.
95
00:06:59,721 --> 00:07:01,241
Maybe later, if you work really hard.
96
00:07:01,361 --> 00:07:05,281
Right. So, the fat collects here
and drips into that there.
97
00:07:05,401 --> 00:07:07,281
I want you to scrape it up using this...
98
00:07:09,241 --> 00:07:10,841
And put it in that bucket.
99
00:07:15,641 --> 00:07:18,841
Tom, are you sure you haven't killed me
already? It feels a lot like hell.
100
00:07:18,961 --> 00:07:20,481
You've got two choices, mate.
101
00:07:20,601 --> 00:07:23,681
You can either scrape up the fat
or mop up the bogs, it's up to you.
102
00:07:23,801 --> 00:07:26,121
- Fat it is.
- Ok.
103
00:07:29,641 --> 00:07:30,761
Steeper than it looks.
104
00:07:30,881 --> 00:07:32,201
What are you doing here?
105
00:07:32,321 --> 00:07:33,681
What are youdoing here?
106
00:07:33,801 --> 00:07:37,401
I can't believe you're still in Barry.
I can't believe you're still in wales.
107
00:07:37,521 --> 00:07:40,161
God, the risks I took for you people.
108
00:07:40,281 --> 00:07:41,721
Do they still want her?
109
00:07:41,841 --> 00:07:46,001
They don't want her because they think
she's dead. I told them I killed her.
110
00:07:46,121 --> 00:07:47,881
Oh, thank you.
111
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:51,721
But if they find out I didn't,
112
00:07:51,841 --> 00:07:55,641
say they spotted you shopping
with her in bloody aldi,
113
00:07:55,761 --> 00:07:58,681
then they'd come for her again,
and I would get a wooden enema.
114
00:07:58,801 --> 00:08:02,241
Sorry about that. We'll try and keep
more of a low profile, ok?
115
00:08:02,361 --> 00:08:07,521
This is not just about the fangs.
I found something else in the prophecy.
116
00:08:07,641 --> 00:08:09,241
Something is coming for her.
117
00:08:09,361 --> 00:08:13,241
- That's very nice. Thank you. Goodbye.
- Listen, this is serious.
118
00:08:13,361 --> 00:08:16,921
No, this is prophecy, and I know
a thing or two about prophecies.
119
00:08:17,041 --> 00:08:18,681
They're bullshit and mind games.
120
00:08:18,801 --> 00:08:22,481
Seems to me that they only get dangerous
when you actually start believing in them.
121
00:08:22,601 --> 00:08:25,321
So, if you've come to tell me about
real things in the real world,
122
00:08:25,441 --> 00:08:27,201
then, yes, go on, tell me.
123
00:08:27,321 --> 00:08:30,721
But if this is more saviour nonsense,
I think we're done here.
124
00:08:30,841 --> 00:08:32,841
- Thank you.
- I just need to...
125
00:08:32,961 --> 00:08:38,841
Look, if you are serious about
the wellbeing of that child,
126
00:08:38,961 --> 00:08:40,921
you will listen to me.
127
00:08:42,241 --> 00:08:44,081
She is in danger.
128
00:08:45,521 --> 00:08:49,281
God, I don't know why I bother!
129
00:08:53,801 --> 00:08:56,321
Egg and chips?
It'll be about five minutes.
130
00:08:56,441 --> 00:08:58,801
If you just take a seat.
Cheers, boss. What's that?
131
00:09:00,041 --> 00:09:02,641
Toad in the hole?
That's going to be a while yet
132
00:09:02,761 --> 00:09:07,721
cos I've still got a few more on.
I'm really sorry. Obviously...
133
00:09:12,641 --> 00:09:14,161
It's a journal.
134
00:09:16,081 --> 00:09:17,081
Sorry?
135
00:09:17,201 --> 00:09:20,481
What you were going to ask.
I'm just writing a journal.
136
00:09:20,601 --> 00:09:25,441
Yeah. Thoughts, feelings, lyrics.
137
00:09:26,961 --> 00:09:28,441
Good.
138
00:09:28,561 --> 00:09:30,441
Yeah, but it's kind of private.
139
00:09:30,561 --> 00:09:34,321
It's a lot of my private thoughts
andideas.
140
00:09:37,201 --> 00:09:38,761
But I didn't actually ask...
141
00:09:38,881 --> 00:09:42,001
Oh, ok! Just one.
142
00:09:42,121 --> 00:09:43,641
Twisted my arm.
143
00:09:43,761 --> 00:09:47,081
Like, we have this idea
144
00:09:47,201 --> 00:09:52,161
that you could make a skull
145
00:09:52,281 --> 00:09:55,841
with the top sliced off
that you could drink from.
146
00:09:55,961 --> 00:09:57,521
What do you think?
147
00:09:57,641 --> 00:10:01,081
It's pretty dark, isn't it?
148
00:10:02,281 --> 00:10:07,201
Wouldn't the drink leak out of
the eye sockets where the, urn,
149
00:10:07,321 --> 00:10:08,721
the optic nerve goes in?
150
00:10:11,401 --> 00:10:13,321
It's not a real skull!
151
00:10:13,441 --> 00:10:18,001
Anyway, just the sort of thing
I think about, you know, all the time.
152
00:10:18,121 --> 00:10:21,481
I bet you think I'm really weird.
153
00:10:21,601 --> 00:10:24,961
You still doing that?
We've got orders in, hal.
154
00:10:33,921 --> 00:10:39,841
Do you everjust picture the streets
full of bones? Like after a war.
155
00:10:40,961 --> 00:10:45,601
And everybody's dead but you.
156
00:10:54,801 --> 00:10:58,601
And the big, bad pig
blew and blew and blew,
157
00:10:58,721 --> 00:11:03,081
and the three wolves were very scared
inside their little brick house.
158
00:11:09,721 --> 00:11:13,521
Well, well, well. Wasn't that idiot regus
supposed to have killed her?
159
00:11:13,641 --> 00:11:17,241
What happened? Did she overpower him?
160
00:11:21,521 --> 00:11:23,881
Can be little buggers, babies, can't they?
161
00:11:24,001 --> 00:11:26,881
Cry like crazy in the house,
then you take two steps outside -
162
00:11:27,001 --> 00:11:28,081
boom, off like alight.
163
00:11:30,761 --> 00:11:34,321
Um, do you have any yourself?
164
00:11:34,441 --> 00:11:38,361
Yeah, two boys. Little smashers.
165
00:11:39,561 --> 00:11:45,441
They both died of old age a long time ago,
but they had kids who had kids, and so on.
166
00:11:45,561 --> 00:11:47,841
Yeah, I check in occasionally.
167
00:11:47,961 --> 00:11:50,521
See how my genes are getting on.
168
00:11:50,641 --> 00:11:54,201
Might even take the odd one.
You know, thin the herd.
169
00:12:00,561 --> 00:12:02,281
Oh!
170
00:12:02,401 --> 00:12:06,841
It's funny. All the others
are terrified of this little lady -
171
00:12:06,961 --> 00:12:09,361
the war child.
172
00:12:09,481 --> 00:12:13,001
They think if you threaten her, a safe
will fall on your head, or something.
173
00:12:13,121 --> 00:12:14,681
But not me.
174
00:12:14,801 --> 00:12:17,921
I see her as opportunity.
175
00:12:18,041 --> 00:12:20,321
Just imagine how grateful
the old ones are going to be
176
00:12:20,441 --> 00:12:22,921
when I give them her head
as a welcoming present.
177
00:12:25,761 --> 00:12:27,641
It's your lucky day today.
178
00:12:27,761 --> 00:12:30,041
This is a bit too public, even for me.
179
00:12:32,201 --> 00:12:33,521
I'll be seeing you.
180
00:12:36,761 --> 00:12:40,321
Why can't you just leave her alone?
She's just a normal baby!
181
00:12:42,961 --> 00:12:46,401
Do you really believe that,
or is this just desperation?
182
00:12:48,081 --> 00:12:49,641
Which one keeps her alive?
183
00:12:49,761 --> 00:12:51,841
Neither, I'm afraid.
184
00:12:59,401 --> 00:13:03,521
Bloke at table four gets free teas
all day. He's a builder. He gave me this.
185
00:13:03,641 --> 00:13:05,521
- What is it?
- Muriatic acid.
186
00:13:05,641 --> 00:13:07,961
What?
187
00:13:08,081 --> 00:13:11,121
Yeah, it's for cleaning my swimming pool.
188
00:13:11,241 --> 00:13:13,681
That don't have to be perfect, hal.
We've got people waiting.
189
00:13:13,801 --> 00:13:15,841
I'm doing them a favour.
190
00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:18,481
I'm granting them five more minutes
without food poisoning.
191
00:13:18,601 --> 00:13:21,481
Get out of the way, I'll do it. Move.
192
00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:25,401
Fine. Think I've gone
as high as I possibly could
193
00:13:25,521 --> 00:13:28,481
in the thrilling world
of lettuce chopping, anyway.
194
00:13:37,121 --> 00:13:38,201
What was that?
195
00:13:38,321 --> 00:13:41,041
- It's a stake, hal.
- What the hell's it doing here?
196
00:13:41,161 --> 00:13:44,001
Must have had it with me in my
trouser pocket when I was protecting Eve.
197
00:13:44,041 --> 00:13:46,577
- Then I came here. Forgot I even had it.
- Tom, you promised Annie...
198
00:13:46,601 --> 00:13:48,361
I know. I told you,
I forgot I even had it.
199
00:13:48,481 --> 00:13:50,297
Anyway, it's good that
I've got it anyway, just in case.
200
00:13:50,321 --> 00:13:52,121
In case of what?
201
00:13:52,241 --> 00:13:55,241
We're hardly likely to be overrun
by vampires in a cafe.
202
00:13:59,681 --> 00:14:02,401
- Jesus, that's for me, isn't it?
- No, of course not.
203
00:14:02,521 --> 00:14:04,201
Just in case I fell off the wagon, hm?
204
00:14:04,321 --> 00:14:06,537
Just in case I dealt with complaints
the old-fashioned way?
205
00:14:06,561 --> 00:14:08,281
How was that going to work, Tom?
206
00:14:08,401 --> 00:14:10,001
Were you even going to warn me?
207
00:14:10,121 --> 00:14:12,401
Or was it just going
to be a swift stake in the back
208
00:14:12,521 --> 00:14:14,497
- the next time I looked at someone funny?
- Tell me I'm wrong.
209
00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:17,617
Look me in the eye now and tell me there's
not a chance at all that you'll crack.
210
00:14:17,641 --> 00:14:20,402
Nothing to worry about, and I swear
to god, I'll bin the thing myself.
211
00:14:20,481 --> 00:14:21,721
You know, it would be nice
212
00:14:21,841 --> 00:14:24,297
if I thought you really were worried
about me falling off the wagon,
213
00:14:24,321 --> 00:14:25,497
but I think you're hoping I will
214
00:14:25,521 --> 00:14:27,761
because that'll give you
the perfect excuse.
215
00:14:27,881 --> 00:14:30,481
Now, you tell me I'm wrong.
216
00:14:43,441 --> 00:14:44,721
What happened to your face?
217
00:14:44,841 --> 00:14:47,441
My lunch fought back.
218
00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:49,921
I'd rather not talk about it.
219
00:14:50,041 --> 00:14:53,361
But who takes a crowbar with them
when they walk the dog? I mean, who does?
220
00:14:53,481 --> 00:14:55,201
That's just weird.
221
00:14:55,321 --> 00:14:59,361
No, no, first, I want to know
why you're helping us.
222
00:14:59,481 --> 00:15:00,961
Why you're helping her.
223
00:15:01,081 --> 00:15:03,521
- I'm all heart.
- No, you're not.
224
00:15:03,641 --> 00:15:07,681
And the prophecy says that she will be the
doom of the vampire race, or something,
225
00:15:07,801 --> 00:15:10,481
which I don't believe for a second,
but I know that you do,
226
00:15:10,601 --> 00:15:12,201
so why would you want to save her?
227
00:15:12,321 --> 00:15:17,081
You love a doorstep row, don't you?
You really want to go into this right now?
228
00:15:17,201 --> 00:15:20,801
Before I bring the baby into
the weird vampire's house? Yes.
229
00:15:20,921 --> 00:15:23,161
Right.
230
00:15:23,281 --> 00:15:25,681
For 400 years,
231
00:15:25,801 --> 00:15:29,521
I've been collecting and cataloguing
vampire history, myths and legends.
232
00:15:29,641 --> 00:15:31,481
400 years.
233
00:15:31,601 --> 00:15:36,641
In dark rooms, libraries and cellars.
Poring over scrolls, manuscripts,
234
00:15:36,761 --> 00:15:40,881
books covered in mildew
cos you can't Google this stuff, you know?
235
00:15:41,001 --> 00:15:45,641
I've got asthma. Actual asthma.
Vampires don't get asthma.
236
00:15:45,761 --> 00:15:49,201
And no-one wanted to know about my work.
237
00:15:49,321 --> 00:15:54,481
They just laughed and ate another virgin,
so that has to be worth something.
238
00:15:54,601 --> 00:15:57,841
If it's not true, if that baby
doesn't mean the end of the vampires,
239
00:15:57,961 --> 00:16:00,841
then what have I been doing
for all those years?
240
00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:05,241
It will have meant noth/hg/
do you understand?
241
00:16:06,681 --> 00:16:08,041
Yes.
242
00:16:15,481 --> 00:16:18,281
- Regus: He came to the house?
- Annie: No, no.
243
00:16:20,681 --> 00:16:22,081
We were in the park...
244
00:16:22,201 --> 00:16:25,121
The park?! After everything I told you?
245
00:16:25,241 --> 00:16:29,201
Well, she wouldn't stop crying, so
I just thought a walk in the park would,
246
00:16:29,321 --> 00:16:30,681
you know, calm her down.
247
00:16:30,801 --> 00:16:34,201
Oh, yeah, a walk in the park with
the most important baby on the planet.
248
00:16:34,321 --> 00:16:37,441
- You know I don't believe that.
- Then, why exactly are you here?
249
00:16:37,561 --> 00:16:40,281
Because I'm scared.
250
00:16:40,401 --> 00:16:41,561
The old ones?
251
00:16:41,681 --> 00:16:44,761
Is that who you were trying
to warn me about?
252
00:16:44,881 --> 00:16:47,841
Oh, come on!
You couldn't wait to tell me before.
253
00:16:47,961 --> 00:16:51,041
That was before.
Before the door in the face,
254
00:16:51,161 --> 00:16:53,641
before you nearly got her killed.
Now it's going to cost you.
255
00:16:53,761 --> 00:16:54,761
What?
256
00:16:54,801 --> 00:16:59,401
My price has just gone up
from nothing to something.
257
00:17:01,081 --> 00:17:05,041
I think you need to be taught a lesson.
I think you need to feed me.
258
00:17:05,161 --> 00:17:09,681
You do know I'm dead, huh?
So, you can try biting me,
259
00:17:09,801 --> 00:17:11,857
but all you're going to get
is an ice-cream headache.
260
00:17:11,881 --> 00:17:16,281
Who said anything about blood?
I'm more interested in your other charms.
261
00:17:20,601 --> 00:17:22,801
I assume you know how to taste.
262
00:17:22,921 --> 00:17:25,401
That's what I want. Only in reverse.
263
00:17:27,921 --> 00:17:31,081
We are never touching.
264
00:17:31,201 --> 00:17:35,481
I will tell you everything you need
to know to save the life of that baby
265
00:17:35,601 --> 00:17:38,281
and, believe me, you needto know.
266
00:17:49,801 --> 00:17:50,921
Put your hand on my head.
267
00:17:59,361 --> 00:18:02,721
Right, think about
the first time you had sex.
268
00:18:08,121 --> 00:18:09,641
So, where are we, then?
269
00:18:11,241 --> 00:18:17,161
Well, um, we are
in the spot where I first...
270
00:18:17,281 --> 00:18:20,161
You know.
271
00:18:20,281 --> 00:18:22,401
So, who's the lucky fella?
272
00:18:22,521 --> 00:18:25,601
Um, his name was Dave.
273
00:18:27,161 --> 00:18:30,561
Great! So, what time's kickoff?
274
00:18:30,681 --> 00:18:32,881
He'll be here in a minute.
275
00:18:33,001 --> 00:18:37,321
Oh, god. This is so weird!
Weird and sick. I feel sick!
276
00:18:37,441 --> 00:18:39,881
So uncomfortable.
Why are you making me do this?
277
00:18:40,001 --> 00:18:43,001
You've seen my life.
278
00:18:43,121 --> 00:18:45,201
Food that fights back.
279
00:18:45,321 --> 00:18:47,841
Sharing a bathroom
with 14 Polish builders.
280
00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:51,561
And someone like me would never stand
a chance with someone like you otherwise.
281
00:18:51,681 --> 00:18:55,081
So, I'll take what I can get.
Even if it is a second-hand shag.
282
00:18:55,201 --> 00:18:56,721
Oh!
283
00:18:56,841 --> 00:18:59,921
Hey! Pretend I'm not here. Don't mind me.
284
00:19:06,841 --> 00:19:09,721
Right. What's he doing?
285
00:19:10,921 --> 00:19:14,481
Oh, well, I... I get it.
286
00:19:14,601 --> 00:19:19,761
Well, these are my memories, so I guess
the only way you can experience them is...
287
00:19:21,001 --> 00:19:22,481
Is as me.
288
00:19:22,601 --> 00:19:24,361
Ah! Get off.
289
00:19:24,481 --> 00:19:28,361
Don't worry. You know what?
He was surprisingly gentle.
290
00:19:28,481 --> 00:19:30,481
Get off! Get off!
291
00:19:32,161 --> 00:19:35,681
Maybe I should
leave you guys to it. Just...
292
00:19:35,801 --> 00:19:37,761
No, I don't like it!
293
00:19:37,881 --> 00:19:41,921
- Don't worry, he didn't last that long.
- Make it stop! Make it stop!
294
00:19:42,041 --> 00:19:44,601
Oh, my god! That's disgusting.
295
00:19:51,401 --> 00:19:54,921
Maybe we could leave
the sex memories for a while.
296
00:19:55,041 --> 00:19:58,041
Are you sure?
Cos I have some great stuff for you.
297
00:19:58,161 --> 00:20:00,561
No, no, it's fine.
I'll tell you what you need to know.
298
00:20:00,681 --> 00:20:01,761
Thank you.
299
00:20:03,361 --> 00:20:05,841
I just need a minute.
300
00:20:05,961 --> 00:20:07,281
I feel a bit vulnerable.
301
00:20:07,401 --> 00:20:11,201
Oh, sure. Sure. I understand.
You just take your time.
302
00:20:25,601 --> 00:20:27,481
I know who you are.
303
00:20:29,761 --> 00:20:31,601
I don't know who you think I am...
304
00:20:33,081 --> 00:20:34,761
But you've got the wrong man.
305
00:20:34,881 --> 00:20:39,321
Before I ripped his throat out, that bloke
in the pawn shop said your name.
306
00:20:39,441 --> 00:20:43,201
I thought, "no, it can't be." But it is.
307
00:20:44,401 --> 00:20:46,361
It really is you.
308
00:20:51,801 --> 00:20:53,041
My lord.
309
00:20:57,481 --> 00:21:00,321
You have the wrong man!
310
00:21:00,441 --> 00:21:02,681
Jesus, you weren'tjoking, were you?
311
00:21:04,321 --> 00:21:05,481
Don't panic.
312
00:21:07,321 --> 00:21:10,641
I'm still loyal.
313
00:21:15,721 --> 00:21:17,921
Then forget you saw me.
314
00:21:20,921 --> 00:21:25,121
I couldn't believe it when
I found you working here with a dog.
315
00:21:25,241 --> 00:21:27,201
I mean, you don't have to work anywhere.
316
00:21:28,241 --> 00:21:32,521
Look, there's a boat of old ones
on the way, but until they get here,
317
00:21:32,641 --> 00:21:35,041
it's just me
and this mouthy little dicksplash.
318
00:21:35,161 --> 00:21:39,521
But an old one like you? You could walk in
and take over, like that.
319
00:21:41,121 --> 00:21:42,521
I'm not interested.
320
00:21:42,641 --> 00:21:45,601
Oh, come on. Come back, huh?
321
00:21:45,721 --> 00:21:47,761
Like the old days? Me and you?
322
00:21:47,881 --> 00:21:51,241
Girl on each arm,
one tied up in the boot, huh?
323
00:21:51,361 --> 00:21:52,921
You remember, don't you?
324
00:21:53,041 --> 00:21:56,481
I try to forget.
That's not who I am any more.
325
00:21:56,601 --> 00:21:59,041
What? And this is?
326
00:21:59,161 --> 00:22:01,801
Working in a greasy spoon with a iyco?
327
00:22:03,241 --> 00:22:06,801
He's been a busy boy, you know.
He's got a target on his head.
328
00:22:08,281 --> 00:22:09,961
Not when he's with me, he doesn't.
329
00:22:10,081 --> 00:22:13,121
Look, you're either an old one
or you're a nobody.
330
00:22:14,521 --> 00:22:16,561
And we're all over nobodies every day.
331
00:22:16,681 --> 00:22:19,361
See, this visit here today
is only really a recce.
332
00:22:19,481 --> 00:22:22,441
Tomorrow, we're going to come back
all tooled up about ten o'clock.
333
00:22:22,561 --> 00:22:25,281
Teach your little doggie to play dead.
334
00:22:25,401 --> 00:22:28,761
He's not my dog. He's not my anything.
335
00:22:28,881 --> 00:22:32,961
Fine. You won't mind stepping aside, then.
336
00:22:46,921 --> 00:22:48,081
Got you!
337
00:22:50,001 --> 00:22:52,241
It's just a bit dead,
so I thought I'd ambush you.
338
00:22:52,361 --> 00:22:56,041
What have you been doing, anyway?
Counting the rubbish?
339
00:22:56,161 --> 00:22:58,241
Yes, I was counting the rubbish.
340
00:22:58,361 --> 00:23:01,841
Oh, yeah. Someone's
left something on one of the tables.
341
00:23:01,961 --> 00:23:03,441
God, not more sick.
342
00:23:03,561 --> 00:23:05,361
Tom: Do you want it, then?
343
00:23:06,401 --> 00:23:08,121
Hal: Why would I want it? You have it.
344
00:23:08,241 --> 00:23:10,281
I don't want it. It's demeaning to women.
345
00:23:12,361 --> 00:23:13,961
We should throw it away.
346
00:23:28,521 --> 00:23:31,161
- What must their mothers think?
- What?
347
00:23:31,281 --> 00:23:34,081
Those ladies on the cover,
showing everything to everyone.
348
00:23:34,201 --> 00:23:36,241
No-one'll want to court them.
349
00:23:37,361 --> 00:23:38,521
Sorry, court them?
350
00:23:38,641 --> 00:23:39,881
You know what I mean.
351
00:23:40,001 --> 00:23:43,241
Only because I was around
during the coronation.
352
00:23:43,361 --> 00:23:45,161
No-one says "court" any more.
353
00:23:45,281 --> 00:23:47,361
I know. They use "chatting up".
354
00:23:47,481 --> 00:23:50,201
We don't say that because
it's disrespectful to the lady,
355
00:23:50,321 --> 00:23:53,081
even if they are in the nuddy.
What do you call it?
356
00:23:53,201 --> 00:23:55,081
I don't call it anything
because I don't do it.
357
00:23:55,201 --> 00:23:56,961
Is that because you can't do it?
358
00:23:58,921 --> 00:24:01,241
Let's just say it's not good
for my condition
359
00:24:01,361 --> 00:24:04,281
- to play in that arena.
- Very convenient.
360
00:24:04,401 --> 00:24:05,601
What?
361
00:24:05,721 --> 00:24:07,961
"Oh, I can't chat them up
cos I might kill them!"
362
00:24:08,081 --> 00:24:09,201
You can't do it, can you?
363
00:24:09,321 --> 00:24:14,201
- Have you ever even been with a woman?
- I'm waiting for the right woman.
364
00:24:14,321 --> 00:24:18,561
Virginity is like a flower.
You don't just pluck it for anyone.
365
00:24:22,001 --> 00:24:23,521
Well said.
366
00:24:23,641 --> 00:24:25,681
I still don't reckon you can chat up.
367
00:24:25,801 --> 00:24:29,401
Are we still on with this?
Look, I told you, I don't needto chat up.
368
00:24:29,521 --> 00:24:31,481
I have charm and wit.
369
00:24:31,601 --> 00:24:33,881
- Prove it.
- What?
370
00:24:34,001 --> 00:24:38,121
Chat up the next woman what comes in here.
Don't worry, I won't let you kill her.
371
00:24:38,241 --> 00:24:40,121
I'm not the one with
something to prove here.
372
00:24:40,241 --> 00:24:43,761
I'll do it with you.
First one to get her number wins.
373
00:24:43,881 --> 00:24:45,881
Unless you can't do it.
374
00:24:46,001 --> 00:24:48,961
First one to get her number,
whoever she is?
375
00:24:49,081 --> 00:24:50,561
You're on.
376
00:24:50,681 --> 00:24:51,761
Fine.
377
00:24:56,281 --> 00:24:57,521
But we're not going to ring it?
378
00:24:59,601 --> 00:25:01,561
We'll burn it, or something,
as soon as we get it.
379
00:25:01,641 --> 00:25:03,001
Obviously.
380
00:25:35,521 --> 00:25:40,561
These runes describe the coming of a man -
the enemy of the saviour.
381
00:25:40,681 --> 00:25:44,361
The nearest translation to this rune
is Nemesis, arch enemy.
382
00:25:44,481 --> 00:25:47,361
Like Lex Luthor to Superman
or green goblin to spider-man.
383
00:25:47,481 --> 00:25:49,641
Yeah, yeah. No, I get that.
384
00:25:49,761 --> 00:25:53,001
Ok, this is a description of the man.
385
00:25:53,121 --> 00:25:58,081
This rune means fire, but this
is past tense, and this means arm.
386
00:25:59,361 --> 00:26:00,681
And what does that mean?
387
00:26:00,801 --> 00:26:04,601
The Nemesis has a burnt arm.
388
00:26:04,721 --> 00:26:06,241
What, and that's it?
389
00:26:06,361 --> 00:26:08,521
What do you want? An e-mail address?!
390
00:26:08,641 --> 00:26:11,241
Look, if you see a scary man
with a burnt arm, run away!
391
00:26:11,361 --> 00:26:13,881
It's pretty specific.
You need to get out of town.
392
00:26:14,001 --> 00:26:17,121
Especially now they know that she's alive.
393
00:26:17,241 --> 00:26:20,201
You've got to go and hide somewhere
in the middle of nowhere.
394
00:26:20,321 --> 00:26:21,601
Go to bangor.
395
00:26:21,721 --> 00:26:25,121
What if the Nemesis is waiting in bangor?
396
00:26:25,241 --> 00:26:29,681
And besides,
I've got my two boys guarding the door.
397
00:26:29,801 --> 00:26:30,801
Hmm.
398
00:26:30,881 --> 00:26:32,881
What?
399
00:26:34,081 --> 00:26:35,841
Something leaked out.
400
00:26:37,241 --> 00:26:40,241
You don't trust them. Not quite. Not yet.
401
00:26:40,361 --> 00:26:44,321
Well, I trust them a lot more
than I trust you.
402
00:26:44,441 --> 00:26:47,961
Maybe, in most areas. But never with her.
403
00:27:03,641 --> 00:27:05,801
So, are you having a nice evening?
404
00:27:05,921 --> 00:27:08,921
Jk rowling used to write in a caff,
you know.
405
00:27:09,041 --> 00:27:10,121
Did he?
406
00:27:10,241 --> 00:27:13,041
I never used to understand why.
407
00:27:13,161 --> 00:27:16,601
But I get it now. Finally.
408
00:27:16,721 --> 00:27:21,761
You know, from here,
you can see all the passing warp
409
00:27:21,881 --> 00:27:24,721
and woof of humanity...
410
00:27:26,601 --> 00:27:31,361
In all its glory and its despair.
411
00:27:34,521 --> 00:27:38,361
Maybe, one day, years from now,
people will ask you
412
00:27:38,481 --> 00:27:42,161
- which table I used to sit at.
- It's quite a thought.
413
00:27:42,281 --> 00:27:43,601
Isn't it?
414
00:27:43,721 --> 00:27:47,121
Yes, me still here in a year. Anyway...
415
00:27:54,841 --> 00:27:57,601
That's a really nice look
you've got going on there.
416
00:27:59,441 --> 00:28:00,681
Nice?
417
00:28:00,801 --> 00:28:02,121
Sorry.
418
00:28:03,961 --> 00:28:06,681
This is one of those things
when negative is positive, isn't it?
419
00:28:06,801 --> 00:28:08,921
Hang on. I know this one.
420
00:28:11,721 --> 00:28:13,281
It's really bad.
421
00:28:13,401 --> 00:28:16,761
Get you, vanilla ice
422
00:28:18,001 --> 00:28:21,561
Look, whatever the word is
to compliment it, pretend I just said it.
423
00:28:23,121 --> 00:28:26,401
Don't you have, like,
floors to mop, or something?
424
00:28:26,521 --> 00:28:28,241
Please.
425
00:28:28,361 --> 00:28:31,841
Yes! Anything else?
426
00:28:47,841 --> 00:28:51,521
Er, I like yourtights.
You look like a bee, and I like bees.
427
00:28:55,321 --> 00:28:59,161
- Are you coming on to me?
- I don't know. Is that like chatting up?
428
00:28:59,281 --> 00:29:02,321
Urgh, no offence, but, like,
429
00:29:02,441 --> 00:29:06,921
I'm into guys that are just
a little bit more edgy.
430
00:29:07,041 --> 00:29:10,401
You know,
a little bit more darkness about them.
431
00:29:13,601 --> 00:29:16,241
Are you laughing at me?
You'd better not be laughing at me.
432
00:29:16,361 --> 00:29:17,561
No, we weren't, honestly.
433
00:29:17,681 --> 00:29:20,361
Sorry, it's just, um,
a private joke, you see.
434
00:29:20,481 --> 00:29:23,121
We're actually both quite dark
in our own little ways.
435
00:29:23,241 --> 00:29:25,681
Well, he's darker than me.
I'm dark occasionally.
436
00:29:25,801 --> 00:29:28,121
Are you simple, or something?
437
00:29:29,721 --> 00:29:31,161
Here's an idea.
438
00:29:31,281 --> 00:29:33,161
Order something or get out!
439
00:29:33,281 --> 00:29:37,521
Fine. Then I guess I'm leaving.
440
00:29:42,121 --> 00:29:45,721
I didn't like her.
I don't think I even want her number.
441
00:29:56,401 --> 00:29:59,321
And how are my two
bestest working boys, hmm?
442
00:29:59,441 --> 00:30:01,721
How did it go?
443
00:30:04,561 --> 00:30:07,281
- Went well, then?
- We did all right, I suppose.
444
00:30:07,401 --> 00:30:11,361
I think that's the first honest day's work
he's done in his life.
445
00:30:11,481 --> 00:30:12,841
Oh, you are so wrong.
446
00:30:12,961 --> 00:30:16,561
If, by honest day's work, you mean
mindless drudgery, then let me tell you,
447
00:30:16,681 --> 00:30:18,161
I've drudged with the best of them.
448
00:30:18,281 --> 00:30:20,537
Live as long as I have,
sometimes you just can't avoid it.
449
00:30:20,561 --> 00:30:22,721
What crappyjobs have you done?
I bet I've done crapper.
450
00:30:22,801 --> 00:30:25,297
Pulling a cart through the streets
collecting refuse in barrels.
451
00:30:25,321 --> 00:30:26,601
Binman.
452
00:30:26,721 --> 00:30:30,321
These were the days
before flushing toilets.
453
00:30:30,441 --> 00:30:33,241
It wasn't exactly rubbish
we were collecting, if you get my drift.
454
00:30:33,361 --> 00:30:37,401
Grave digger. Sometimes, you'd dig
through an old grave, unmarked like,
455
00:30:37,521 --> 00:30:39,361
right through a dead body, and it stunk.
456
00:30:39,481 --> 00:30:43,681
Child's play. Try digging plague pits with
the bodies piled three deep around you.
457
00:30:43,801 --> 00:30:46,081
Um, I worked in a bar once.
458
00:30:46,201 --> 00:30:49,161
Yeah, and this guy came in
to chat me up and later,
459
00:30:49,281 --> 00:30:52,481
he got drunk and crashed his car and died
460
00:30:52,601 --> 00:30:55,641
and he tried to drag me through
death's door into purgatory.
461
00:30:55,761 --> 00:30:59,601
Dog food factory. Shifting huge lumps
of frozen sheep's lung.
462
00:30:59,721 --> 00:31:03,521
Melted blood all sploshing about on
the floor and the gaffer, well, he was...
463
00:31:03,641 --> 00:31:05,601
Annie! How was your day?
464
00:31:05,721 --> 00:31:08,761
Oh, thank you. Thank you for asking,
because it was a bit weird.
465
00:31:08,881 --> 00:31:12,721
I got stalked by a vampire in the park
and then I pushed my sex memories
466
00:31:12,841 --> 00:31:16,481
into another vampire's
sad little vampire brain.
467
00:31:16,601 --> 00:31:18,201
Ooh, that is weird, Annie.
468
00:31:18,321 --> 00:31:20,921
Yes, I know. Thank you for asking.
469
00:31:22,401 --> 00:31:24,961
Is there something
you'd like to tell us, Annie?
470
00:31:26,801 --> 00:31:29,161
She's just a baby, Annie.
471
00:31:29,281 --> 00:31:32,001
- This is all just a story.
- And what about the old ones?
472
00:31:32,121 --> 00:31:35,321
Is that just a story, too, hmm?
What happens when they get here?
473
00:31:35,441 --> 00:31:37,361
Let them come. We can take them.
474
00:31:37,481 --> 00:31:39,401
You were the one who said
we should just run.
475
00:31:39,521 --> 00:31:41,281
And you were the one
saying there's no point.
476
00:31:41,361 --> 00:31:44,601
Well, I think we should run
and go and live in a barn.
477
00:31:47,001 --> 00:31:48,081
A barn?
478
00:31:48,201 --> 00:31:50,441
Or a caravan or a tent or something.
479
00:31:50,561 --> 00:31:52,361
You said we were strong here.
480
00:31:52,481 --> 00:31:54,537
- You said we could face them.
- Well, I've changed my mind.
481
00:31:54,561 --> 00:32:00,921
I cannot sleep in a barn
or a tent or a caravan or anywhere
482
00:32:01,041 --> 00:32:03,601
without central heating,
carpets and radio 4.
483
00:32:03,721 --> 00:32:05,201
That should be on my list.
484
00:32:05,321 --> 00:32:08,961
Really, it should. You make me do that,
I won't be responsible for my actions.
485
00:32:09,081 --> 00:32:10,361
And what about the old ones?
486
00:32:10,481 --> 00:32:13,177
If the old ones are coming, then
it is better that I am here to greet them.
487
00:32:13,201 --> 00:32:14,281
Greet them?
488
00:32:16,561 --> 00:32:18,321
I mean face them. Confront them.
489
00:32:18,441 --> 00:32:21,201
I ain't running. I'm going to fight 'em.
490
00:32:22,521 --> 00:32:26,881
Look, I just... I just think we have
enemies coming at us from every angle.
491
00:32:27,001 --> 00:32:29,281
First, the old ones and now, this Nemesis.
492
00:32:29,401 --> 00:32:30,881
Jesus, Annie!
493
00:32:34,961 --> 00:32:37,121
We've both had a really hard day at work.
494
00:32:37,241 --> 00:32:38,721
Oh, and I haven't?
495
00:32:38,841 --> 00:32:40,361
That's not what I meant.
496
00:32:42,521 --> 00:32:46,521
Look, I'm not sure
what you were used to
497
00:32:46,641 --> 00:32:51,041
when George and, er,
Tina were around, but...
498
00:32:51,161 --> 00:32:56,121
Their names were Nina,
George and Mitchell,
499
00:32:56,241 --> 00:32:58,481
and this was their home
500
00:32:58,601 --> 00:33:01,561
and they were my friends
501
00:33:01,681 --> 00:33:04,721
and they would have listened to me.
502
00:33:08,361 --> 00:33:11,361
- Thanks, mate.
- Thanks very much.
503
00:33:24,361 --> 00:33:26,601
Can I have a...
504
00:33:28,241 --> 00:33:31,681
Cheeseburger, please?
505
00:33:38,401 --> 00:33:39,601
1.50.
506
00:33:45,401 --> 00:33:49,481
"The cloak of the reaper
blocks the sun over me
507
00:33:49,601 --> 00:33:51,041
"Over me
508
00:33:51,161 --> 00:33:53,881
"but the beak of the crow
pecks at the flesh of my enemy
509
00:33:54,001 --> 00:33:55,201
"Enemy
510
00:33:55,321 --> 00:34:00,041
"I may be gone, but I'm still here
511
00:34:00,161 --> 00:34:02,761
"remember me, remember me."
512
00:34:08,441 --> 00:34:10,281
I think you've forgotten to pay.
513
00:34:10,401 --> 00:34:13,081
Er, I think I just did.
514
00:34:13,201 --> 00:34:16,001
That's one of my poems, so...
515
00:34:16,121 --> 00:34:19,521
- No, you've got to pay with money.
- Oh, god.
516
00:34:20,961 --> 00:34:24,321
I don't think you quite understand.
517
00:34:24,441 --> 00:34:30,681
One day, you're going to be able to buy
this place with that piece of paper, ok?
518
00:34:30,801 --> 00:34:34,281
That's an original Michaela Thompson.
519
00:34:34,401 --> 00:34:36,121
We'd rather have the money.
520
00:34:37,481 --> 00:34:43,041
Look, I don't carry the currency
of this so-called society.
521
00:34:43,161 --> 00:34:44,561
I pay with my art.
522
00:34:44,681 --> 00:34:45,681
Not here, you don't.
523
00:34:45,721 --> 00:34:49,041
You either pay or you give it back,
so I'll have that back, thank you.
524
00:34:50,801 --> 00:34:54,161
Look, I just told you,
I don't have any money.
525
00:34:54,281 --> 00:34:56,681
So, you know,
what are you going to do about it?
526
00:34:56,801 --> 00:34:59,481
Lock you in and call the police.
527
00:34:59,601 --> 00:35:00,841
Try me.
528
00:35:10,961 --> 00:35:12,641
Right, you can stop that now.
529
00:35:12,761 --> 00:35:17,441
What? This is what you wanted, isn't it?
I'm paying, aren't I?
530
00:35:23,521 --> 00:35:25,361
I used to ride a horse once.
531
00:35:25,481 --> 00:35:27,081
What? What's that got to do with it?
532
00:35:27,201 --> 00:35:28,881
I had a sword, I was respected.
533
00:35:29,001 --> 00:35:30,521
Better than that, I was feared.
534
00:35:30,641 --> 00:35:33,081
Peasants had their backs flayed
for looking at me funny.
535
00:35:33,201 --> 00:35:34,241
Are you all right, hal?
536
00:35:34,361 --> 00:35:35,721
It was brutal, but it worked.
537
00:35:35,841 --> 00:35:38,241
We had order, we had respect
and now, we have this.
538
00:35:38,361 --> 00:35:42,001
Ok, then, mate. Let's go in the back and
have a bit of a chat, shall we? Come on.
539
00:35:42,121 --> 00:35:44,641
And I had a shield. A red one.
540
00:35:44,761 --> 00:35:45,881
Is he all right?
541
00:35:46,001 --> 00:35:48,201
You are not a very nice young lady,
are you?
542
00:35:57,161 --> 00:35:58,481
You did well back there, mate.
543
00:35:58,601 --> 00:36:00,761
Really?
544
00:36:00,881 --> 00:36:03,841
Because I didn't just leap across
the counter and rip her throat out,
545
00:36:03,961 --> 00:36:06,161
because, instead,
I just babbled like a lunatic.
546
00:36:06,281 --> 00:36:08,441
Yeah, but babbling's better than leaping.
547
00:36:08,561 --> 00:36:10,481
God, look at me.
548
00:36:10,601 --> 00:36:13,121
Hiding from a little girl in a burger bar.
549
00:36:13,241 --> 00:36:15,281
You're not hiding,
you're keeping her alive.
550
00:36:15,401 --> 00:36:17,561
It was always much harder for me...
551
00:36:19,161 --> 00:36:20,361
With women.
552
00:36:21,481 --> 00:36:22,601
So many times...
553
00:36:24,681 --> 00:36:27,081
I couldn't stop myself.
554
00:36:27,201 --> 00:36:29,721
- I leapt rather than babbled.
- Yeah, but not now, though, eh?
555
00:36:31,361 --> 00:36:34,641
No. No, not now.
556
00:36:44,881 --> 00:36:46,801
I don't think we need this any more.
557
00:36:47,921 --> 00:36:50,561
I've got your back, mate.
558
00:36:54,161 --> 00:36:57,841
Do you know what?
We should close up early tonight.
559
00:36:57,961 --> 00:36:59,601
- Really?
- Yeah.
560
00:36:59,721 --> 00:37:02,001
Yeah, no, we should go.
561
00:37:04,681 --> 00:37:06,921
Have a pint or something.
562
00:37:19,241 --> 00:37:20,761
Come in.
563
00:37:23,961 --> 00:37:26,921
I've got to say,
I was surprised to get your message.
564
00:37:28,201 --> 00:37:30,321
You sure about this?
565
00:37:30,441 --> 00:37:33,641
No, but we're going to do it anyway.
I just keep thinking,
566
00:37:33,761 --> 00:37:36,561
"what would George and Nina do
if they thought trouble was on its way?"
567
00:37:36,601 --> 00:37:37,881
So, we leave tonight.
568
00:37:56,481 --> 00:37:58,761
Closing early. Sorry.
569
00:38:00,001 --> 00:38:01,561
We found a...
570
00:38:03,081 --> 00:38:08,281
We found a dead dog in the oven.
Health and safety.
571
00:38:34,881 --> 00:38:37,281
Vampires. Kill the lights.
572
00:38:48,761 --> 00:38:50,681
- How many?
- I counted four.
573
00:38:50,801 --> 00:38:52,361
Probably after me.
574
00:38:52,481 --> 00:38:55,041
I had been a bit busy,
you know, before, like.
575
00:38:55,161 --> 00:38:56,561
Yeah, probably.
576
00:38:58,681 --> 00:38:59,801
You had more stakes?
577
00:38:59,921 --> 00:39:02,521
- Bet you're glad now, though, aren't you?
- That's not the point.
578
00:39:16,081 --> 00:39:20,801
Oh, lord hal! Are you in there, lord hal?
579
00:39:20,921 --> 00:39:22,161
Do you know him?
580
00:39:22,281 --> 00:39:23,761
It's complicated.
581
00:39:23,881 --> 00:39:26,401
Is the doggie ready for his walkies?
582
00:39:26,521 --> 00:39:29,441
Have you planned this?
Were you just going to hand me over?
583
00:39:29,561 --> 00:39:31,361
Not exactly hand you over.
584
00:39:31,481 --> 00:39:33,761
More just step aside,
but I changed my mind.
585
00:39:33,881 --> 00:39:35,081
How do I know that?!
586
00:39:35,201 --> 00:39:38,921
I don't know, maybe because we are
whispering in the dark behind a counter!
587
00:39:39,041 --> 00:39:42,201
Besides, don't take the moral high ground.
You kept a pile of stakes.
588
00:39:42,321 --> 00:39:44,457
I can't believe you were going to hand me
over to them.
589
00:39:44,481 --> 00:39:46,977
- I told you, I changed my mind.
- Well, what if you changed it back?
590
00:39:47,001 --> 00:39:50,001
No, you're right. If only you had
some way to defend yourself.
591
00:39:50,121 --> 00:39:52,241
Oh, wait. Hang on a minute.
You kept a pile of stakes!
592
00:39:55,201 --> 00:39:57,801
Michaela: Ow! Hello? Anyone?
593
00:40:01,041 --> 00:40:03,481
Listen! Listen to me very carefully.
594
00:40:03,601 --> 00:40:05,721
Outside, there are some...
595
00:40:07,361 --> 00:40:10,561
Some very bad men who want to hurt us,
so you have to keep quiet.
596
00:40:10,681 --> 00:40:12,001
Do you understand?
597
00:40:12,121 --> 00:40:13,321
Mm.
598
00:40:14,401 --> 00:40:16,481
Go, go, go, go, go!
599
00:40:35,321 --> 00:40:36,561
Right, you two.
600
00:40:50,281 --> 00:40:52,681
They are good people.
601
00:40:52,801 --> 00:40:55,681
But, you know,
it's like they're just lodging here.
602
00:40:55,801 --> 00:40:59,121
You know, this isn't their home
and we're not a family.
603
00:40:59,241 --> 00:41:00,841
Not like it was before.
604
00:41:00,961 --> 00:41:04,761
So, you run away with
the creepy vampire you've just met?
605
00:41:06,121 --> 00:41:11,121
No, but I promised George that I would do
whatever it takes to keep her safe.
606
00:41:12,961 --> 00:41:15,241
And I guess this is what it takes.
607
00:41:23,321 --> 00:41:25,761
Oh, my god! Oh, my god! Who are they?
608
00:41:25,881 --> 00:41:27,241
Why are they chasing us?
609
00:41:27,361 --> 00:41:31,081
- I cannot believe we have to save her.
- I cannot believe we've got to save you.
610
00:41:31,201 --> 00:41:33,081
Tom, I'm sorry. And I did change my mind.
611
00:41:33,201 --> 00:41:35,297
Trying to close up early -
I was trying to get you out of there.
612
00:41:35,321 --> 00:41:37,681
I can't believe I binned
my big stake for you.
613
00:41:37,801 --> 00:41:40,201
A stake! You binned astake, Tom.
614
00:41:40,321 --> 00:41:42,137
- Give me my phone back.
- We've got to keep moving.
615
00:41:42,161 --> 00:41:49,041
No! I am not going another step until
you tell me why they're trying to kill us.
616
00:41:49,161 --> 00:41:51,641
Because they're vampires.
617
00:41:51,761 --> 00:41:53,481
Oh, yeah.
618
00:41:53,601 --> 00:41:56,881
Ha-ha, hilarious
Mock the gothic weirdo girl.
619
00:41:58,521 --> 00:42:00,401
Give me my phone back.
I'm calling the police.
620
00:42:00,521 --> 00:42:02,137
Hal, do the eyes and the teeth
or whatever you do.
621
00:42:02,161 --> 00:42:04,601
- That thing.
- What? I am not a performing monkey.
622
00:42:04,721 --> 00:42:06,721
Hal, stop being such a Wally.
623
00:42:15,121 --> 00:42:16,681
I am a vampire, he is a werewolf.
624
00:42:16,801 --> 00:42:19,241
Any questions?
625
00:42:19,361 --> 00:42:22,601
Er... are you seeing anyone at the moment?
626
00:42:22,721 --> 00:42:24,481
Can I have your number?
627
00:42:24,601 --> 00:42:27,841
- What? We never said that was over.
- Oh, for god's sake.
628
00:42:27,961 --> 00:42:29,201
Go and check the street.
629
00:42:37,241 --> 00:42:38,481
Ooh!
630
00:42:40,441 --> 00:42:43,721
Are you feeling weak?
631
00:42:45,241 --> 00:42:47,121
Do you need to feed?
632
00:42:47,241 --> 00:42:52,081
Because I wouldn't mind if you need a bit
to keep you going, actually.
633
00:42:52,201 --> 00:42:54,761
- What?
- Would it leave a scar?
634
00:42:54,881 --> 00:42:59,481
Or could you do it
somewhere else on my body?
635
00:42:59,601 --> 00:43:01,281
You don't know...
636
00:43:03,761 --> 00:43:06,201
- What you're asking.
- Hal?
637
00:43:06,321 --> 00:43:07,641
Hal?!
638
00:43:07,761 --> 00:43:09,841
I said I've got your back, mate,
but don't push it.
639
00:43:23,521 --> 00:43:27,161
Holiday's over, I guess.
640
00:43:28,881 --> 00:43:32,601
Yeah, well, just think of it
as a new type of holiday.
641
00:43:32,721 --> 00:43:36,881
With lots of running,
terror and sleeping in ditches.
642
00:43:39,641 --> 00:43:40,361
Oh, my god! You!
643
00:43:40,481 --> 00:43:42,641
- Regus?
- What's he doing here?
644
00:43:42,761 --> 00:43:47,681
Nothing that requires Woody,
pointy things, Tom.
645
00:43:49,081 --> 00:43:50,161
What's happened?
646
00:43:50,281 --> 00:43:52,841
- Vampires.
- Yeah, they attacked the cafe.
647
00:43:52,961 --> 00:43:55,121
Completely unexpected.
Not planned at all, was it?
648
00:43:55,241 --> 00:43:57,041
Oh, give it a rest.
649
00:43:57,161 --> 00:43:58,881
Annie, first-aid kit - where is it?
650
00:43:59,001 --> 00:44:01,121
It's in the kitchen. I'll go and get it.
651
00:44:01,241 --> 00:44:02,281
Um, who's she?
652
00:44:02,401 --> 00:44:05,321
A bloody nightmare that we had to rescue.
653
00:44:07,001 --> 00:44:08,881
Who are you talking to?
654
00:44:11,081 --> 00:44:14,281
Annie's a ghost.
You can't see her, but we can.
655
00:44:14,401 --> 00:44:17,841
Because you're a werewolf.
Have I got that right?
656
00:44:17,961 --> 00:44:19,401
Yeah.
657
00:44:19,521 --> 00:44:22,641
- You're one of the good guys now?
- It would appear so.
658
00:44:22,761 --> 00:44:24,761
Yeah, I think I am, too.
659
00:44:24,881 --> 00:44:26,481
It's fun, isn't it?
660
00:44:26,601 --> 00:44:29,841
Yes. Sometimes,
it leaves me positively giddy.
661
00:44:31,281 --> 00:44:33,841
This is so deep.
662
00:44:33,961 --> 00:44:36,961
Annie, why are there piles
of Eve's clothes in a suitcase?
663
00:44:37,081 --> 00:44:40,161
Um, can we talk about this later?
664
00:44:40,281 --> 00:44:43,281
I think they need to know.
665
00:44:45,441 --> 00:44:51,281
Um, well... well, we were thinking
that we would take baby Eve
666
00:44:51,401 --> 00:44:54,161
somewhere a little, um, safer.
667
00:44:54,281 --> 00:44:57,001
"We"? Who's "we"?
668
00:44:57,121 --> 00:44:58,761
You and this bloke here?
669
00:45:01,801 --> 00:45:05,761
House meeting. Yes, I would like
a house meeting, please. A house meeting.
670
00:45:05,881 --> 00:45:07,241
Can you just...?
671
00:45:16,361 --> 00:45:20,081
Are you going for ever?
Have we done something to upset you?
672
00:45:21,921 --> 00:45:23,961
So, are you a vampire, as well?
673
00:45:24,081 --> 00:45:28,441
- Cos you're not showing up on my camera.
- Take a wild guess.
674
00:45:32,881 --> 00:45:34,321
I assume you're taking the piss.
675
00:45:36,761 --> 00:45:37,961
Well, they started it.
676
00:45:39,881 --> 00:45:41,521
You're a funny vampire.
677
00:45:45,401 --> 00:45:50,601
So, um, what's your story, then?
How did you end up in all this?
678
00:45:50,721 --> 00:45:53,561
I was texting in the bogs
when they attacked the caff.
679
00:45:53,681 --> 00:45:56,081
- Ah, wrong place, wrong time?
- No!
680
00:45:57,961 --> 00:45:59,801
I think it was meant to happen.
681
00:45:59,921 --> 00:46:02,081
Don't you believe in fate?
682
00:46:02,201 --> 00:46:03,761
Destiny?
683
00:46:03,881 --> 00:46:05,441
More than anything.
684
00:46:05,561 --> 00:46:08,761
Then you'll know there are no accidents.
685
00:46:10,001 --> 00:46:15,041
I've spent years dreaming about
a world like this and now I'm here,
686
00:46:15,161 --> 00:46:18,281
talking to people with no reflections
who will live for ever.
687
00:46:18,681 --> 00:46:20,361
But we can protect her. All of us can.
688
00:46:20,481 --> 00:46:23,681
No, not all the time.
What about when you're both working?
689
00:46:23,801 --> 00:46:25,081
Both: Where are you going?
690
00:46:25,201 --> 00:46:27,721
- To change.
- Tom: But this is important.
691
00:46:27,841 --> 00:46:29,561
I have to change my clothes.
692
00:46:32,841 --> 00:46:35,481
It feels like I'm circling
the drain of a world
693
00:46:35,601 --> 00:46:38,201
I've spent the past 55 years
trying to avoid.
694
00:46:38,321 --> 00:46:41,161
The more I engage with this,
695
00:46:41,281 --> 00:46:43,801
the greater the danger of being sucked in.
696
00:46:43,921 --> 00:46:46,681
Look, I need some space, ok?
697
00:46:46,801 --> 00:46:48,561
To think.
698
00:46:48,681 --> 00:46:50,801
To breathe!
699
00:46:52,841 --> 00:46:56,361
Sorry. I'm really very sorry.
700
00:47:12,441 --> 00:47:13,641
Annie?
701
00:47:17,481 --> 00:47:18,641
Tom?
702
00:47:43,561 --> 00:47:46,721
Good evening, my lord.
Apologies for the intrusion.
703
00:47:46,841 --> 00:47:50,681
Fergus, I don't remember asking you in.
704
00:47:50,801 --> 00:47:54,481
He was invited in a week ago,
when he took Eve.
705
00:47:55,921 --> 00:47:58,281
It's amazing how these things stick.
706
00:47:58,401 --> 00:48:01,081
And then I just invited
some of my friends.
707
00:48:01,201 --> 00:48:02,521
You don't mind, do you?
708
00:48:02,641 --> 00:48:04,161
Not at all.
709
00:48:05,281 --> 00:48:08,041
But is there really
any need for the knife?
710
00:48:08,161 --> 00:48:09,801
It's a little crude.
711
00:48:09,921 --> 00:48:14,641
Is that an order, my lord?
The offer's still on the table.
712
00:48:14,761 --> 00:48:16,881
There's a throne with your name on it,
if you want.
713
00:48:17,001 --> 00:48:18,361
What's he talking about, hal?
714
00:48:18,481 --> 00:48:20,641
Oh, he didn't mention it, did he?
715
00:48:20,761 --> 00:48:23,441
Our lord Harry is an old one.
716
00:48:23,561 --> 00:48:25,481
At least, he was.
717
00:48:26,681 --> 00:48:28,001
Pretty high up.
718
00:48:29,801 --> 00:48:33,041
You can be again, hal. All you've got
to do is let us kill the dog.
719
00:48:35,081 --> 00:48:38,361
And you can come back in. All is forgiven.
720
00:48:40,041 --> 00:48:41,201
And the rest live?
721
00:48:42,921 --> 00:48:45,961
I'll be honest with you - probably not.
722
00:48:46,081 --> 00:48:49,361
The fact that that baby's still alive
is my secret weapon.
723
00:48:49,481 --> 00:48:51,361
My ace in the hole.
724
00:48:51,481 --> 00:48:54,961
Won't impress the old ones
if it's still breathing.
725
00:48:55,081 --> 00:48:57,281
- Tom.
- You'll have to get through me first.
726
00:48:57,401 --> 00:48:59,001
Me, too.
727
00:48:59,121 --> 00:49:01,201
I think we just did come through you,
didn't we?
728
00:49:01,321 --> 00:49:03,161
I'm sure you will again.
729
00:49:04,321 --> 00:49:06,721
It's the thought that counts.
730
00:49:11,241 --> 00:49:13,281
Ok, what?
731
00:49:13,401 --> 00:49:14,401
I'm back in.
732
00:49:16,161 --> 00:49:18,881
I'll come lead your merry band.
733
00:49:19,001 --> 00:49:22,041
For richer or poorer. Mostly richer.
734
00:49:22,161 --> 00:49:24,801
What, just like that?
735
00:49:24,921 --> 00:49:30,161
You know me, Fergus.
You've known me for years.
736
00:49:32,681 --> 00:49:36,921
Did you really think I was going to ally
myself with these freaks and traitors
737
00:49:37,041 --> 00:49:39,281
when there's an offer like that
on the table?
738
00:49:39,401 --> 00:49:42,401
It'll bejust like coming home.
739
00:49:45,441 --> 00:49:49,361
Ok? Now, go get the dog.
740
00:49:50,721 --> 00:49:52,401
I'll deal with the girl.
741
00:49:52,521 --> 00:49:54,521
Annie: No, hal.
742
00:50:51,521 --> 00:50:53,321
He got her. I didn't even see.
743
00:50:53,441 --> 00:50:56,961
He must have nicked the jugular. Oh, shit!
744
00:50:58,841 --> 00:51:01,001
Michaela? Michaela, talk to me.
745
00:51:16,241 --> 00:51:17,841
Who was she?
746
00:51:18,881 --> 00:51:21,601
Just a silly little girl who
walked into the wrong café.
747
00:51:21,721 --> 00:51:24,601
Who thought that there was more
to this world than she could see.
748
00:51:24,721 --> 00:51:25,961
Who thought vampires were cool.
749
00:51:26,081 --> 00:51:29,121
And werewolves.
She thought werewolves were cool and all.
750
00:51:29,241 --> 00:51:31,721
And werewolves.
751
00:51:33,961 --> 00:51:35,881
Um, are you finished?
752
00:51:36,001 --> 00:51:39,001
I think I missed a few bits of them
under the sofa.
753
00:51:39,121 --> 00:51:42,481
Oh, don't worry. I'll get them later.
Thank you very much.
754
00:51:42,601 --> 00:51:45,961
I still think you should come with me.
It's not safe out there.
755
00:51:46,081 --> 00:51:50,921
Yeah, I know. It's just that I feel strong
here. Stronger than I've ever felt.
756
00:51:51,041 --> 00:51:53,601
Right now,
I feel like I could take on a whole army.
757
00:51:53,721 --> 00:51:56,481
You know, with Tom
and lord Harry by my side.
758
00:51:56,601 --> 00:51:58,841
Lord Harry!
759
00:51:58,961 --> 00:52:00,521
Don't.
760
00:52:00,641 --> 00:52:03,841
- Seriously, don't.
- Annie: Lord Harry!
761
00:52:06,801 --> 00:52:09,201
Trust us to look after the baby now,
do you?
762
00:52:10,721 --> 00:52:13,361
Maybe that's the way it should
have been from the start.
763
00:52:13,481 --> 00:52:16,201
The war child protected by you
and the lodgers.
764
00:52:16,321 --> 00:52:20,521
Ah, no. They're not lodgers.
They are my friends.
765
00:52:20,641 --> 00:52:24,761
Hmm. Yeah, well,
most of my friends are arseholes.
766
00:52:24,881 --> 00:52:27,121
There's a couple of them in the hoover.
767
00:52:27,241 --> 00:52:29,881
Well, maybe you should
get yourself some new friends.
768
00:52:50,241 --> 00:52:51,521
That's the plan.
769
00:52:55,201 --> 00:52:59,001
For what it's worth,
I'm really sorry for the way things went.
770
00:52:59,121 --> 00:53:02,641
What are you talking about?
I've got everything I've ever wanted.
771
00:53:02,761 --> 00:53:05,601
I mean, I'm going to live for ever.
772
00:53:05,721 --> 00:53:12,241
Reborn into this dark infinity
with crimson fuel and eyes of ebony.
773
00:53:12,361 --> 00:53:16,121
Good at poetry. Really good.
It nearly rhymes and everything.
774
00:53:16,241 --> 00:53:19,601
I think people might listen to them now,
somehow.
775
00:53:19,721 --> 00:53:23,961
I just... I really like the idea of
my work being the final thing they hear.
776
00:53:24,081 --> 00:53:25,401
It could be so beautiful.
777
00:53:25,521 --> 00:53:29,961
When you stop thinking that,
and you will, remember I'm sorry.
778
00:53:30,081 --> 00:53:33,601
You're not very good
at being a vampire, are you?
779
00:53:33,721 --> 00:53:35,121
- I try not to be.
- Ignore him.
780
00:53:35,241 --> 00:53:37,041
He's never happy unless he's miserable.
781
00:53:37,161 --> 00:53:38,321
And what will you do now?
782
00:53:38,441 --> 00:53:42,521
Keep moving. See the world.
Try not to end up in a hoover bag.
783
00:53:44,081 --> 00:53:45,441
Thank you.
784
00:53:45,561 --> 00:53:47,921
It's for him. Just in case.
785
00:53:48,041 --> 00:53:54,401
But he is my maker, my creator,
the granter of this dark gift.
786
00:53:54,521 --> 00:53:56,801
We're going to make poetry of our own.
787
00:53:57,961 --> 00:54:02,241
Skin will be our parchment,
blood will be our ink.
788
00:54:02,361 --> 00:54:05,161
Yeah. And then we're going to have sex.
789
00:54:17,161 --> 00:54:19,641
Did you ever meet Ivan and Daisy?
790
00:54:19,761 --> 00:54:22,241
Hmm, now, there's a lovely thought.
791
00:54:26,201 --> 00:54:27,441
What we watching?
792
00:54:27,561 --> 00:54:29,601
I don't know.
793
00:54:29,721 --> 00:54:32,601
Something about con men.
794
00:54:34,401 --> 00:54:36,361
Anything else on?
795
00:54:41,681 --> 00:54:43,081
Ana' had a look at it.
796
00:54:43,201 --> 00:54:47,881
The plumber sa/o', ”oh, it 'i/ probably
turn out to be a lal/que”. I turned it over
797
00:54:48,001 --> 00:54:50,801
and thatis exactly what it was,
stamped on the bottom.
798
00:54:50,921 --> 00:54:54,001
Tom: What do you reckon?
A couple of grand?
799
00:54:54,121 --> 00:54:55,961
No, I'm going to go with a grand.
800
00:54:57,241 --> 00:54:58,961
What do you think, Annie?
801
00:55:04,441 --> 00:55:06,361
I don't know. Let me have a look.
802
00:55:08,321 --> 00:55:12,361
Um, yeah, a couple of grand, probably.
803
00:55:16,241 --> 00:55:21,841
Together, combined with
this wonderful blue opalescence is just ..
804
00:55:21,961 --> 00:55:24,601
It just screams la/ique and is a really,
really pretty thing.
805
00:55:24,721 --> 00:55:27,881
He had a brilliant understanding
of glass moulding.
806
00:55:28,001 --> 00:55:31,001
This is a moulded piece of glass,
this is all moulded
807
00:55:31,121 --> 00:55:34,961
and then stained in to enhance
the depth of the des/gn.
808
00:56:02,961 --> 00:56:04,601
It's good to be back.
809
00:56:07,321 --> 00:56:09,001
- Nina sent me.
- Nina?
810
00:56:09,121 --> 00:56:10,297
Said you were doing great, Annie,
811
00:56:10,321 --> 00:56:12,177
but thought you could do
with an extra pair of hands.
812
00:56:12,201 --> 00:56:13,561
She has a temperature.
813
00:56:13,681 --> 00:56:15,937
They couldn't find any record of the baby
on our entire system.
814
00:56:15,961 --> 00:56:17,881
There are things I need to check.
815
00:56:18,001 --> 00:56:20,617
The paper says the box tunnel
murderer's stomach contained human flesh.
816
00:56:20,641 --> 00:56:22,681
Dr Wilson, why did you lie?
817
00:56:22,801 --> 00:56:24,601
- What did hal say?
- Oh, he didn't mean it.
818
00:56:24,721 --> 00:56:26,401
You're a nice guy, but I need to know.
819
00:56:26,521 --> 00:56:27,961
He doesn't want you growing up.
820
00:56:30,401 --> 00:56:34,561
- What do you want?
- I just want us to be a happy family.
821
00:56:34,681 --> 00:56:36,521
Annie deserves that, doesn't she?
61709