All language subtitles for ils.allo.allo.s02e03.dvdrip.xvid-eng

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew Download
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,636 --> 00:00:04,604 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:23,856 I SHOULD BE TUCKED UP IN A NICE WARM BED 3 00:00:23,858 --> 00:00:25,958 IN MY CAFE COUNTING SHEEP. 4 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:27,661 INSTEAD, I AM STANDING HERE 5 00:00:27,663 --> 00:00:29,162 DISGUISED AS A MUSHROOM PICKER 6 00:00:29,164 --> 00:00:31,298 COUNTING COWS GOING THROUGH THIS GATE. 7 00:00:33,734 --> 00:00:36,002 I WILL TELL YOU A SECRET-- 8 00:00:36,004 --> 00:00:39,406 NOT ALL OF THESE COWS ARE COWS. 9 00:00:39,408 --> 00:00:43,042 ONE OF THEM CONTAINS TWO ESCAPING BRITISH AIRMEN. 10 00:00:44,945 --> 00:00:46,979 CAN YOU DETECT WHICH ONE? 11 00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:56,122 Carstairs: HOLD ON A MINUTE, 12 00:00:56,124 --> 00:00:58,124 I'VE LOST MY WATCH. 13 00:01:04,498 --> 00:01:07,767 THAT WAS NOT VERY DIFFICULT, WAS IT? 14 00:01:07,769 --> 00:01:09,336 COME! WE MUST HURRY. 15 00:01:09,338 --> 00:01:11,705 THE PLANE WILL BE HERE IN FOUR MINUTES. 16 00:01:11,707 --> 00:01:14,241 WE MUST GET ACROSS THE ROAD BEHIND THE COPSE. 17 00:01:21,115 --> 00:01:24,150 Carstairs: I HOPE THERE AREN'T ANY BULLS ABOUT. 18 00:01:24,152 --> 00:01:26,786 Fairfax: I SHOULDN'T WORRY. THE OTHER COWS HAVE 19 00:01:26,788 --> 00:01:29,155 MUCH MORE INTERESTING BACKSIDES THAN YOURS. 20 00:01:31,626 --> 00:01:33,560 OH HECK, IT IS A GERMAN PATROL. 21 00:01:33,562 --> 00:01:36,329 - WHAT?! - GET DOWN! HIDE BEHIND THE HEDGE. 22 00:01:36,331 --> 00:01:37,430 ( blows lamp ) 23 00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:45,938 HAVE YOUR GUNS AT THE READY. 24 00:01:52,647 --> 00:01:54,013 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 25 00:01:55,249 --> 00:01:58,251 I AM A SIMPLE MILKING MAID. 26 00:01:58,253 --> 00:02:00,453 I AM TAKING THESE COWS TO THE MEADOW 27 00:02:00,455 --> 00:02:02,656 WHERE THEY WILL EAT THE GRASS. 28 00:02:02,658 --> 00:02:04,591 THE GREEN GRASS WILL MAKE THE MILK. 29 00:02:04,593 --> 00:02:07,260 THE MILK WILL MAKE THE BUTTER. 30 00:02:07,262 --> 00:02:10,163 AND THE BUTTER WE WILL SPREAD ON THE BREAD 31 00:02:10,165 --> 00:02:12,265 OF THE VICTORIOUS GERMAN SOLDIER. 32 00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:15,101 WE ARE ABOUT TO DIE 33 00:02:15,103 --> 00:02:17,337 AND HE STARTS A LECTURE ON FARMING. 34 00:02:17,339 --> 00:02:18,738 WE ARE IN NEED OF SOME MILK. 35 00:02:18,740 --> 00:02:20,840 KURT, LEND ME YOUR HELMET. 36 00:02:20,842 --> 00:02:22,975 I WILL OBTAIN SOME FROM THESE COWS. 37 00:02:22,977 --> 00:02:26,012 BUT THEY HAVE ALREADY BEEN MILKED. 38 00:02:26,014 --> 00:02:28,381 WE NEED JUST A FEW SQUIRTS FOR OUR COFFEE. 39 00:02:30,718 --> 00:02:33,320 OH MY GOD. 40 00:02:33,322 --> 00:02:36,088 THIS APPEARS TO BE A QUIET ONE. 41 00:02:36,090 --> 00:02:38,792 IF THEY FIND OUT IT IS A WASHING UP GLOVE 42 00:02:38,794 --> 00:02:41,127 HANGING DOWN THERE, WE HAVE HAD IT. 43 00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:44,163 ( gun cocks ) 44 00:02:44,165 --> 00:02:45,932 ( guns cock ) 45 00:02:45,934 --> 00:02:49,502 UNFORTUNATELY, IT SEEMS TO HAVE VERY SMALL TITTIES. 46 00:02:58,412 --> 00:03:00,213 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 47 00:03:00,215 --> 00:03:03,550 COME AWAY FROM THAT COW. YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ON PATROL. 48 00:03:03,552 --> 00:03:05,318 I AM SORRY, SERGEANT. 49 00:03:08,356 --> 00:03:10,256 PUT YOUR HELMETS BACK ON. 50 00:03:10,258 --> 00:03:11,658 GET INTO LINE. 51 00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:15,294 QUICK, MARCH! 52 00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:29,809 THAT WAS A NEAR THING. 53 00:03:29,811 --> 00:03:31,511 HE ACTUALLY GOT HOLD OF IT. 54 00:03:34,849 --> 00:03:36,583 OH MY GOD. 55 00:03:38,285 --> 00:03:41,888 I WAS SO SCARED, I HAVE BEEN EATING A TOADSTOOL. 56 00:03:41,890 --> 00:03:43,857 I WILL PROBABLY DIE. ( retches ) 57 00:03:43,859 --> 00:03:45,392 BE QUIET. 58 00:03:45,394 --> 00:03:47,394 - ( airplane droning ) - I HEAR THE PLANE. 59 00:03:47,396 --> 00:03:48,928 WE MUST HURRY. 60 00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:04,544 Edith: IT IS A VERY BIG ONE. 61 00:04:04,546 --> 00:04:06,946 I THINK IT IS A TRANSPORT PLANE. 62 00:04:06,948 --> 00:04:09,782 RENE, HOW CAN THAT GREAT BIG PLANE 63 00:04:09,784 --> 00:04:11,684 LAND IN THIS LITTLE FIELD? 64 00:04:13,153 --> 00:04:15,889 IT IS NOT LANDING. LOOK! 65 00:04:21,294 --> 00:04:23,897 Maria: THEY HAVE RELEASED TWO PARACHUTES. 66 00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:34,807 THEY ARE GOING TO DROP THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WOOD. 67 00:04:34,809 --> 00:04:35,775 QUICK! 68 00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:44,651 THEY MUST HAVE LANDED SOMEWHERE NEAR HERE. 69 00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:49,188 Fairfax: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 70 00:04:49,190 --> 00:04:50,957 I'M GOING NO FURTHER 71 00:04:50,959 --> 00:04:55,227 UNTIL SOMEONE TELLS ME WHAT'S GOING ON. 72 00:04:55,229 --> 00:04:57,730 I AGREE. 73 00:04:59,567 --> 00:05:00,733 AH, I SEE SOMETHING. 74 00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:05,071 IT IS A COPPER. 75 00:05:05,073 --> 00:05:07,206 I SAY, IS ANYONE DOWN THERE? 76 00:05:07,208 --> 00:05:09,075 OH MY GOD. 77 00:05:09,077 --> 00:05:12,011 NOT ANOTHER STUPID ENGLISHMAN! 78 00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:15,048 I SAY, ARE YOU FROM H.Q.? 79 00:05:15,050 --> 00:05:17,149 WE RATHER THOUGHT THE PLANE WOULD LAND. 80 00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:18,751 CHANGE OF PLAN. 81 00:05:18,753 --> 00:05:21,721 WE'RE TRYING OUT A NEW ESCAPE PACKAGE. 82 00:05:21,723 --> 00:05:23,456 WE'D BETTER GET YOU DOWN, I SUPPOSE. 83 00:05:23,458 --> 00:05:25,091 I SEEM TO BE A BIT STUCK. 84 00:05:25,093 --> 00:05:28,094 IF RENE HELD ME UP IN HIS STRONG ARMS, 85 00:05:28,096 --> 00:05:30,830 I COULD REACH UP AND PULL HIM DOWN. 86 00:05:30,832 --> 00:05:33,199 HE COULD HOLD ME IN HIS STRONG ARMS. 87 00:05:33,201 --> 00:05:36,435 OH, BUT I MIGHT DROP YOU, PRECIOUS. 88 00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:42,675 COME ALONG. THIS WAY. 89 00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:45,478 UP YOU GET. 90 00:05:51,284 --> 00:05:52,585 QUICKLY, MARIA. 91 00:05:52,587 --> 00:05:55,021 ( Maria, Rene grunting ) 92 00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:58,424 - ( squeals ) - ( rips ) 93 00:05:58,426 --> 00:06:01,193 WHAT'S GOING ON, FAIRFAX? 94 00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:02,996 ONE OF THE BARMAIDS 95 00:06:02,998 --> 00:06:05,898 HAS PULLED THE POLICEMAN'S TROUSERS DOWN. 96 00:06:05,900 --> 00:06:07,734 IT'S ALL A GO, ISN'T IT? 97 00:06:07,736 --> 00:06:10,703 - Yvette: SOMETHING IS GIVING. - Rene: WHAT? WHAT? 98 00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:17,376 ( all panting ) 99 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:26,052 I THOUGHT THAT WAS ALL RATHER EXCITING. 100 00:06:26,054 --> 00:06:28,420 WHY HAVE THEY SENT US ANOTHER ENGLISHMAN? 101 00:06:28,422 --> 00:06:31,323 THEY SENT ME OVER BECAUSE I SPEAK FRENCH. 102 00:06:31,325 --> 00:06:33,192 THANK HEAVENS FOR THAT. 103 00:06:33,194 --> 00:06:36,029 THEY HAVE SENT HIM BECAUSE HE SPEAKS FRENCH. 104 00:06:36,031 --> 00:06:37,163 - OH! - AH! 105 00:06:37,165 --> 00:06:39,365 ( horrible French accent ) 'ALLO, EVERYBODY! 106 00:06:39,367 --> 00:06:42,368 AH, TO HEAR OUR OWN TONGUE. 107 00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:50,810 I HAVE BRUNG GROOTINGS 108 00:06:50,812 --> 00:06:53,646 FROM BRITISH ONTELLIGENCE HEADQUITTERS. 109 00:06:55,783 --> 00:06:57,050 WHAT DOES HE SAY? 110 00:06:57,052 --> 00:06:59,418 I THINK HE BRINGS GREETINGS 111 00:06:59,420 --> 00:07:01,754 FROM INTELLIGENCE HEADQUARTERS. 112 00:07:01,756 --> 00:07:06,826 I HAVE DISGEESED AS POLOCEMAN 113 00:07:06,828 --> 00:07:10,830 SO I AM OBLE TO MOVE ABOOT WITH COMPLETE FRODOM. 114 00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:15,935 DO YOU THINK HE WILL GET AWAY WITH THAT ACCENT? 115 00:07:15,937 --> 00:07:19,471 AS LONG AS HE DOES NOT SPEAK, YES. 116 00:07:19,473 --> 00:07:21,774 WE WILL TELL EVERYONE THAT HE COMES 117 00:07:21,776 --> 00:07:23,876 FROM A REMOTE VILLAGE IN THE COUNTRY. 118 00:07:23,878 --> 00:07:26,245 ON THE OUTSKIRTS OF PEKING. 119 00:07:27,647 --> 00:07:29,749 WE PICKED UP THIS PACKAGE. 120 00:07:31,251 --> 00:07:34,386 THIS IS THE ESCOPE POOKAGE. 121 00:07:34,388 --> 00:07:37,256 YOU MUST HEED IT IN YOUR SEALER. 122 00:07:38,525 --> 00:07:40,927 - WHAT WAS THAT? - THE ESCAPE PACKAGE. 123 00:07:40,929 --> 00:07:42,829 YOU MUST HIDE IT IN THE CELLAR. 124 00:07:42,831 --> 00:07:45,231 HOW DOES HE KNOW I HAVE A CELLAR? 125 00:07:45,233 --> 00:07:47,566 IN LONDON, WE ARE NOT STEEPID. 126 00:07:47,568 --> 00:07:50,036 WE KNOW EVERY MAUVE YOU MOOK. 127 00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:58,944 Colonel: WHO IS IT? 128 00:07:58,946 --> 00:08:02,081 IT IS I! HELGA! 129 00:08:02,083 --> 00:08:03,048 ENTER. 130 00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:12,658 - WAS YOUR MISSION SUCCESSFUL? - YES, COLONEL. 131 00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:15,194 WHAT MISSION WAS THIS? I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT A MISSION. 132 00:08:15,196 --> 00:08:17,330 HANS, I DON'T TELL YOU EVERYTHING. 133 00:08:17,332 --> 00:08:20,065 THE LESS YOU KNOW ABOUT SOME THINGS, THE BETTER. 134 00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:22,268 COME FORWARD AND STAND IN FRONT OF ME. 135 00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:26,939 I DON'T WISH ANYONE TO SEE THROUGH THE WINDOWS 136 00:08:26,941 --> 00:08:28,907 WHAT WE ARE UP TO. 137 00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:32,411 NOW... 138 00:08:32,413 --> 00:08:33,879 SHOW ME WHAT YOU'VE GOT. 139 00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:39,051 GOOD. PERFECT. 140 00:08:39,053 --> 00:08:40,853 COLONEL... 141 00:08:40,855 --> 00:08:43,422 AM I ALLOWED TO SEE WHAT HELGA HAS GOT? 142 00:08:44,725 --> 00:08:47,860 HELGA HAS A NORMAL KNOCKWURST. 143 00:08:47,862 --> 00:08:51,330 MADE BY A BUTCHER, WHICH WE'LL BE SENDING TO THE FUHRER. 144 00:08:51,332 --> 00:08:53,499 IT IS VERY SIMPLE. THE PRICELESS PORTRAIT 145 00:08:53,501 --> 00:08:55,668 OF THE FALLEN MADONNA WITH THE BIG BOOBIES 146 00:08:55,670 --> 00:08:57,503 IS CONCEALED INSIDE A KNOCKWURST, 147 00:08:57,505 --> 00:08:59,372 WHICH IS HIDDEN IN RENE'S CELLAR. 148 00:08:59,374 --> 00:09:01,974 THE FORGED PAINTING OF THE FALLEN MADONNA WITH THE BIG BOOBIES 149 00:09:01,976 --> 00:09:03,909 IS CONCEALED INSIDE A SIMILAR KNOCKWURST, 150 00:09:03,911 --> 00:09:05,611 WHICH IS HANGING IN RENE'S KITCHEN. 151 00:09:05,613 --> 00:09:07,546 THE KNOCKWURST CONCEALED ON MY PERSON 152 00:09:07,548 --> 00:09:10,283 IS TO BE SENT TO HERR HITLER, WHO IS UNDER THE IMPRESSION 153 00:09:10,285 --> 00:09:12,217 THAT IT CONTAINS THE ORIGINAL PAINTING 154 00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:14,320 OF THE FALLEN MADONNA WITH THE BIG BOOBIES. 155 00:09:14,322 --> 00:09:16,289 - WHICH IS IN THE CELLAR. - WHICH HERR FLICK 156 00:09:16,291 --> 00:09:18,324 OF THE GESTAPO THINKS IS IN THE KITCHEN. 157 00:09:18,326 --> 00:09:20,826 I ONLY ASKED IF I COULD HAVE A LOOK. 158 00:09:20,828 --> 00:09:23,862 - ( knocks on door ) - WHO IS IT? 159 00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:25,898 IT IS ONLY ME, DEAR COLONEL-- 160 00:09:25,900 --> 00:09:27,400 RENE FROM THE CAFE. 161 00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,937 ( shouts ) COME INSIDE! 162 00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:36,642 WE HAVE GOOD NEWS. 163 00:09:36,644 --> 00:09:38,844 HELGA HAS A NORMAL KNOCKWURST 164 00:09:38,846 --> 00:09:40,346 TO PUT ON THE TRAIN TO BERLIN 165 00:09:40,348 --> 00:09:42,214 FOR THE FUHRER. 166 00:09:42,216 --> 00:09:43,749 HELGA, SHOW HIM. 167 00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:47,252 THANK YOU. 168 00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:49,555 I MISSED IT AGAIN! 169 00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:54,694 COLONEL, I HAVE BAD NEWS. 170 00:09:54,696 --> 00:09:55,961 THE RESISTANCE, 171 00:09:55,963 --> 00:09:57,963 WHO I DO NOT KNOW VERY WELL, 172 00:09:57,965 --> 00:10:00,265 HAVE REFUSED TO BLOW UP THE TRAIN. 173 00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:02,435 THIS IS THE TRAIN CONTAINING THIS KNOCKWURST. 174 00:10:02,437 --> 00:10:04,637 IT MUST BE BLOWN UP SO THAT HITLER THINKS 175 00:10:04,639 --> 00:10:07,840 - THE PAINTING HAS BEEN DESTROYED. - I KNOW THAT BIT! 176 00:10:07,842 --> 00:10:09,208 WHY DO THEY REFUSE? 177 00:10:09,210 --> 00:10:12,345 THEY SAY THEY HAVE A PREVIOUS ENGAGEMENT, 178 00:10:12,347 --> 00:10:15,314 SOMETHING TO DO WITH AN AMMUNITION LORRY. 179 00:10:15,316 --> 00:10:17,616 DID YOU EXPLAIN TO THEM HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS? 180 00:10:17,618 --> 00:10:20,085 YES, OF COURSE, DEAR COLONEL, BUT, 181 00:10:20,087 --> 00:10:22,888 THEY DO NOT TAKE ALL THAT MUCH NOTICE OF ME. 182 00:10:22,890 --> 00:10:24,623 WE BARELY NOD TO EACH OTHER 183 00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:26,959 IN THE STREET, YOU UNDERSTAND? 184 00:10:26,961 --> 00:10:30,295 I COULD TRY THE COMMUNIST RESISTANCE-- 185 00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:32,331 THEY MIGHT DO IT FOR MONEY. 186 00:10:32,333 --> 00:10:34,433 PARTY FUNDS ARE VERY LOW, I HAVE HEARD. 187 00:10:35,569 --> 00:10:37,403 VERY WELL. GO BACK TO YOUR CAFE 188 00:10:37,405 --> 00:10:38,971 AND SEE WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR US. 189 00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:42,908 COULD YOU JUST LET ME HAVE A FEW THOUSAND FRANCS 190 00:10:42,910 --> 00:10:45,711 TO PUT A DEPOSIT DOWN, JUST TO SHOW GOOD FAITH? 191 00:10:45,713 --> 00:10:46,846 CERTAINLY NOT! 192 00:10:46,848 --> 00:10:49,014 YOU PAY THEM AND WE'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU. 193 00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:51,884 - YES, COLONEL. - AND MAKE SURE YOU GET A RECEIPT. 194 00:10:54,788 --> 00:10:57,790 NO, I DO NOT WISH TO GO IN. 195 00:10:57,792 --> 00:10:59,324 PUT ME BY THE TABLE. 196 00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:05,297 - Leclerc: YES, MY LITTLE LOVE. - AND BRING ME A DRINK. 197 00:11:05,299 --> 00:11:08,768 BUT FANNY, WILL YOU NOT BE TOO CHILLY? 198 00:11:08,770 --> 00:11:12,438 NO, NOT IF I HAVE A BIG GIN AND TONIC. 199 00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:16,776 MY LOVE, MY FLOWER, 200 00:11:16,778 --> 00:11:19,211 I WOULD BUY FOR YOU THE WHOLE WORLD, BUT... 201 00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:22,948 I DO NOT HAVE ANY MONEY. 202 00:11:22,950 --> 00:11:25,818 NOW THIS IS MY DAUGHTER'S CAFE-- 203 00:11:25,820 --> 00:11:28,120 WE CAN HAVE FREEBIES. 204 00:11:29,155 --> 00:11:31,457 HOW MUCH?! 205 00:11:31,459 --> 00:11:33,325 NOW LOOK HERE, 206 00:11:33,327 --> 00:11:35,561 IT IS JUST ONE LITTLE TRAIN. 207 00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:38,597 SURELY YOU COULD BLOW IT UP 208 00:11:38,599 --> 00:11:40,232 FOR A BIT LESS THAN THAT. 209 00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:43,969 IS THAT YOUR ROCK BOTTOM PRICE? 210 00:11:43,971 --> 00:11:45,404 HANG ON A MINUTE. 211 00:11:52,746 --> 00:11:55,881 NO, I CANNOT GO TO THAT. 212 00:11:55,883 --> 00:11:58,918 HOW WOULD IT BE IF WE SUPPLY THE EXPLOSIVES? 213 00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:00,953 NO, I DO NOT WANT TO LEAVE MY NAME. 214 00:12:00,955 --> 00:12:02,354 IT IS JUST AN ENQUIRY. 215 00:12:03,623 --> 00:12:05,591 HEY, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? 216 00:12:07,026 --> 00:12:09,495 IT IS I, LECLERC! 217 00:12:09,497 --> 00:12:10,696 I KNOW THAT. 218 00:12:10,698 --> 00:12:11,797 WHAT ARE YOU DOING, 219 00:12:11,799 --> 00:12:13,265 HELPING YOURSELF TO MY GIN? 220 00:12:13,267 --> 00:12:17,035 IT IS MY GIN, FOR MY MAMMA. 221 00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:19,205 GIVE HER A DOUBLE. 222 00:12:19,207 --> 00:12:20,940 LIEUTENANT GRUBER, 223 00:12:20,942 --> 00:12:23,175 YOU HAVE AGAIN PARKED YOUR ARMORED CAR 224 00:12:23,177 --> 00:12:25,010 IN MY PLACE UNDER THE TREE. 225 00:12:25,012 --> 00:12:27,279 I AM MOST SORRY, COLONEL. 226 00:12:27,281 --> 00:12:30,049 I HAVE JUST POLISHED IT AND IT LOOKED LIKE RAIN. 227 00:12:30,051 --> 00:12:31,484 I WILL MOVE IT. 228 00:12:31,486 --> 00:12:33,586 NO, WE SHALL ONLY BE HERE A FEW MINUTES. 229 00:12:33,588 --> 00:12:35,855 BUT DON'T DO IT AGAIN. 230 00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:38,891 HEIL HITLER? 231 00:12:38,893 --> 00:12:41,561 AND DON'T TRY TO GET ROUND ME. 232 00:12:43,664 --> 00:12:45,998 RENE, THE NORMAL KNOCKWURST 233 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,767 IS ON THE NIGHT TRAIN TO BERLIN. 234 00:12:47,769 --> 00:12:50,870 HELGA PUT IT ON NEXT TO THE AMMUNITION TRUCK. 235 00:12:50,872 --> 00:12:54,006 HERR FLICK SUPERVISED HER AND THEN SENT A TELEGRAM TO HITLER-- 236 00:12:54,008 --> 00:12:56,175 - SIGNED BY THE COLONEL. - GOOD NEWS, HUH? 237 00:12:56,177 --> 00:12:59,479 NO, UNFORTUNATELY, I HAVE BAD NEWS. 238 00:12:59,481 --> 00:13:02,482 THE COMMUNISTS HAVE REFUSED TO BLOW UP THE TRAIN. 239 00:13:02,484 --> 00:13:04,083 REFUSED TO BLOW UP THE TRAIN? 240 00:13:04,085 --> 00:13:06,452 WHAT SORT OF COMMUNISTS ARE YOU DEALING WITH? 241 00:13:06,454 --> 00:13:09,421 WHOEVER HEARD OF A COMMUNIST WHO WOULDN'T BLOW UP A TRAIN? 242 00:13:09,423 --> 00:13:11,290 THAT MEANS HITLER WILL RECEIVE 243 00:13:11,292 --> 00:13:12,825 A NORMAL KNOCKWURST. 244 00:13:12,827 --> 00:13:15,060 AND A TELEGRAM FROM THE COLONEL. 245 00:13:15,062 --> 00:13:17,429 AND HE'LL FIND OUT THAT YOU NICKED HIS PAINTING. 246 00:13:17,431 --> 00:13:20,132 KNACKERED BY A KNOCKWURST. 247 00:13:20,134 --> 00:13:22,935 THAT WILL PUT KAPUT ON MY CAREER. 248 00:13:22,937 --> 00:13:24,069 GIVE ME A LARGE COGNAC. 249 00:13:24,071 --> 00:13:25,137 YES, SIR. 250 00:13:25,139 --> 00:13:28,107 COLONEL, ANTICIPATING THIS DEVELOPMENT, 251 00:13:28,109 --> 00:13:31,811 - I HAVE A FURTHER PLAN WHICH MAY YET SAVE US. - YOU HAVE? 252 00:13:31,813 --> 00:13:34,046 GIVE HER A COGNAC AS WELL. HERE. 253 00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:36,115 RENE! 254 00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:46,458 TELL US YOUR PLAN. 255 00:13:46,460 --> 00:13:48,828 BUT TELL IT A BIT SLOWER THAN LAST TIME. 256 00:13:48,830 --> 00:13:51,864 A 20-MILLIMETER INCENDIARY SHELL 257 00:13:51,866 --> 00:13:54,099 ACCURATELY FIRED AT THE AMMUNITION TRUCK 258 00:13:54,101 --> 00:13:57,003 WOULD BLOW IT UP AND ALSO DEMOLISH THE KNOCKWURST. 259 00:13:57,005 --> 00:13:58,571 THE RESISTANCE WILL BE BLAMED, 260 00:13:58,573 --> 00:14:00,773 WE ARREST A FEW PEASANTS AND SHOOT THEM, 261 00:14:00,775 --> 00:14:02,374 AND WE WILL ALL BE IN THE CLEAR. 262 00:14:02,376 --> 00:14:04,243 THAT'S IS ALL VERY WELL, HELGA, 263 00:14:04,245 --> 00:14:06,946 BUT WHERE DO WE GET A 20-MILLIMETER CANNON? 264 00:14:06,948 --> 00:14:08,447 AND WHO'S GOING TO FIRE IT? 265 00:14:08,449 --> 00:14:11,050 LIEUTENANT GRUBER HAS AN ARMORED CAR 266 00:14:11,052 --> 00:14:14,520 ON WHICH IS MOUNTED A 20-MILLIMETER CANNON. 267 00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:18,925 HELLO. 268 00:14:20,794 --> 00:14:24,129 HE'LL NEVER LEND IT. HE'S VERY STINGY. 269 00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:26,866 HE MIGHT LEND IT TO RENE. 270 00:14:26,868 --> 00:14:28,601 HE'S VERY FOND OF HIM. 271 00:14:28,603 --> 00:14:31,604 OH YES, I CAN JUST SEE THAT. 272 00:14:31,606 --> 00:14:33,539 "GOOD EVENING, LIEUTENANT GRUBER, 273 00:14:33,541 --> 00:14:36,141 A SMALL SHERRY? WITH PLEASURE. 274 00:14:36,143 --> 00:14:37,910 BY THE WAY, LIEUTENANT, 275 00:14:37,912 --> 00:14:41,280 I WONDER IF I MIGHT BORROW YOUR ARMORED CAR FOR THE EVENING? 276 00:14:41,282 --> 00:14:43,816 NO, THERE IS NO NEED FOR YOU TO COME WITH ME. 277 00:14:43,818 --> 00:14:46,118 I JUST WISH TO DRIVE IT AROUND A LITTLE BIT, 278 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:48,788 SEE IF I CAN PULL A FEW BIRDS 279 00:14:48,790 --> 00:14:50,957 OR MAYBE SHOOT A PIGEON OR TWO 280 00:14:50,959 --> 00:14:53,025 WITH A 20-MILLIMETER SHELL!" 281 00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:55,427 NO, RENE IS RIGHT. 282 00:14:55,429 --> 00:14:57,797 WE'LL HAVE TO KNOCK IT OFF WHEN HE'S NOT LOOKING. 283 00:14:57,799 --> 00:14:59,799 AND HE WILL BLAME IT ON THE RESISTANCE. 284 00:14:59,801 --> 00:15:02,301 AND WE CAN JUST SHOOT ANOTHER COUPLE OF PEASANTS. 285 00:15:02,303 --> 00:15:05,404 IF YOU GO ON AT THIS RATE, THERE'LL BE NOBODY LEFT IN THE VILLAGE! 286 00:15:05,406 --> 00:15:08,774 - IT IS A VERY GOOD PLAN, HELGA. - IT'S THE ONLY PLAN WE'VE GOT. 287 00:15:08,776 --> 00:15:11,310 AS SOON AS IT IS DARK, WE WILL ACT. 288 00:15:11,312 --> 00:15:12,845 ARE YOU WITH US, RENE? 289 00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:16,315 ALL RIGHT, COLONEL. 290 00:15:16,317 --> 00:15:18,283 I WILL KEEP LIEUTENANT GRUBER TALKING 291 00:15:18,285 --> 00:15:20,452 WHILE YOU NIP OFF, NICK THE ARMORED CAR, 292 00:15:20,454 --> 00:15:21,654 AND BLOW UP THE TRAIN. 293 00:15:21,656 --> 00:15:23,656 NO, RENE. I, AS A COLONEL, 294 00:15:23,658 --> 00:15:26,092 CANNOT GET INVOLVED IN A PLAN LIKE THIS. 295 00:15:27,193 --> 00:15:29,328 I WILL DISTRACT GRUBER 296 00:15:29,330 --> 00:15:31,163 AND YOU, HANS, 297 00:15:31,165 --> 00:15:32,865 YOU WILL NICK THE ARMORED CAR. 298 00:15:32,867 --> 00:15:36,869 BUT COLONEL, I AM A VERY BAD DRIVER. 299 00:15:36,871 --> 00:15:39,404 I ONLY HAVE A PROVISIONAL LICENSE. 300 00:15:40,641 --> 00:15:42,808 IT IS VERY HARD TO SEE OUT OF THOSE THINGS-- 301 00:15:42,810 --> 00:15:44,476 MY GLASSES WILL STEAM UP. 302 00:15:44,478 --> 00:15:46,345 I WILL GET LOST. 303 00:15:46,347 --> 00:15:48,881 RENE CAN SIT ON TOP, STICK HIS HEAD THROUGH THE HOLE, 304 00:15:48,883 --> 00:15:50,249 AND GUIDE YOU. 305 00:15:50,251 --> 00:15:52,151 BUT COLONEL, WOULD IT NOT BE BETTER 306 00:15:52,153 --> 00:15:54,353 IF HELGA DROVE AND THE CAPTAIN COULD SIT ON TOP 307 00:15:54,355 --> 00:15:55,721 AND STICK HIS HEAD OUT-- 308 00:15:55,723 --> 00:15:57,790 I HAVE AN ASSIGNATION WITH HERR FLICK. 309 00:15:57,792 --> 00:15:59,258 CAN YOU NOT BREAK IT? 310 00:15:59,260 --> 00:16:01,593 ONE DOES NOT STAND UP THE GESTAPO. 311 00:16:01,595 --> 00:16:03,829 - WHAT TIME IS THE TRAIN? - 10:00. 312 00:16:03,831 --> 00:16:06,431 VERY WELL. WE ALL MEET HERE AT 9:30. 313 00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,468 I WILL TAKE CARE OF GRUBER. 314 00:16:09,470 --> 00:16:11,203 YOU ALL TAKE CARE OF THE TRAIN. 315 00:16:11,205 --> 00:16:13,372 GOOD NIGHT, RENE. GOOD NIGHT, COLONEL. 316 00:16:13,374 --> 00:16:15,041 YOU ARE NOT GOING? 317 00:16:15,043 --> 00:16:16,909 NOT IN YOUR ARMORED CAR? 318 00:16:16,911 --> 00:16:19,578 YES, I THINK I WILL HAVE AN EARLY NIGHT. 319 00:16:19,580 --> 00:16:21,147 NONSENSE. 320 00:16:21,149 --> 00:16:22,682 I HOPE YOU ARE NOT GOING 321 00:16:22,684 --> 00:16:24,550 BECAUSE I WAS CROSS WITH YOU. 322 00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:28,520 I WAS A BIT UPSET. 323 00:16:28,522 --> 00:16:31,757 DON'T BE UPSET, GRUBER. 324 00:16:31,759 --> 00:16:35,094 - WHAT'S YOUR FIRST NAME? - HUBERT. 325 00:16:35,096 --> 00:16:37,763 DON'T BE UPSET, HUBERT. 326 00:16:37,765 --> 00:16:39,098 I LIKE YOU. 327 00:16:39,100 --> 00:16:40,265 HANS LIKES YOU. 328 00:16:40,267 --> 00:16:41,934 RENE LIKES YOU. 329 00:16:41,936 --> 00:16:45,404 AND THE GIRLS, THEY LIKE YOU, TOO. 330 00:16:45,406 --> 00:16:46,471 I TELL YOU WHAT-- 331 00:16:46,473 --> 00:16:48,507 COME ROUND HERE ABOUT 9:30, 332 00:16:48,509 --> 00:16:50,442 AND WE'LL HAVE DINNER TOGETHER. 333 00:16:50,444 --> 00:16:52,878 AND BRING YOUR ARMORED CAR. 334 00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:54,379 SUDDENLY I AM FEELING BETTER. 335 00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,616 SUDDENLY I AM FEELING WORSE. 336 00:16:58,651 --> 00:17:01,087 CAN I HELP YOU, OFFICER? 337 00:17:01,089 --> 00:17:04,757 AN OLDERLY LODY OUTSIDE IN A BETH CHAIR 338 00:17:04,759 --> 00:17:06,525 HAS BEEN HITTING THE BOOTLE. 339 00:17:10,831 --> 00:17:13,165 - WHAT? - HER IS DRUNK. 340 00:17:13,167 --> 00:17:15,000 HER IS POST AS A NEWT. 341 00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:18,003 OH MY GOD! 342 00:17:18,005 --> 00:17:21,941 - BOCHE SWINE! - FANNY, NO, NO, NO! 343 00:17:21,943 --> 00:17:23,308 HEIL HITLER! 344 00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:25,444 YOU SHALL NOT ENTER THE CAFE OF MY DAUGHTER. 345 00:17:25,446 --> 00:17:27,546 FANNY, PLEASE, DO NOT TAKE ON SO, 346 00:17:27,548 --> 00:17:29,882 WE'LL ALL FINISH UP IN THE COOLER! 347 00:17:29,884 --> 00:17:31,951 STOP IT, YOU SILLY OLD BAT! 348 00:17:31,953 --> 00:17:33,152 THESE ARE MY CUSTOMERS. 349 00:17:33,154 --> 00:17:35,320 ARE YOU TRYING TO RUIN MY BUSINESS? 350 00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:38,290 IT IS MY DAUGHTER'S BUSINESS. 351 00:17:38,292 --> 00:17:40,525 YOU ARE ON THE WAY OUT! 352 00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:41,794 GET HER INSIDE, PLEASE?! 353 00:17:41,796 --> 00:17:44,063 WELCOME, GENTLEMEN. YOUR TABLE IS READY. 354 00:17:44,065 --> 00:17:45,497 STOP! GENTLEMEN! 355 00:17:45,499 --> 00:17:47,432 PLEASE, COME BACK, GENTLEMEN. 356 00:17:47,434 --> 00:17:49,101 SHE IS POTTY IN THE HEAD. 357 00:17:49,103 --> 00:17:52,271 I HAVE YOUR WINDOW TABLE FOR YOU, PLEASE... 358 00:17:52,273 --> 00:17:53,873 DON'T WORRY, RENE. 359 00:17:53,875 --> 00:17:55,674 HUBERT AND I WILL TAKE IT. 360 00:17:55,676 --> 00:17:57,877 WON'T WE, HUBERT? 361 00:17:57,879 --> 00:17:59,544 YOU ARE MOST KIND, COLONEL. 362 00:17:59,546 --> 00:18:01,580 CAN I GIVE ANYONE A LIFT? 363 00:18:01,582 --> 00:18:04,850 GIVE HANS A LIFT, LET HIM PLAY WITH YOUR CANNON. 364 00:18:04,852 --> 00:18:06,919 COME ALONG THEN, CAPTAIN. 365 00:18:06,921 --> 00:18:09,688 I WILL SHOW YOU WHAT FUN AN ARMORED CAR CAN BE. 366 00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:12,792 9:30, RENE. 367 00:18:12,794 --> 00:18:14,026 WATER THE WINE, 368 00:18:14,028 --> 00:18:16,996 AND TAKE THE FLOWERS OFF THE TABLE. 369 00:18:16,998 --> 00:18:19,198 I SPIT ON YOU! 370 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:20,299 GERMAN PIG! 371 00:18:26,473 --> 00:18:28,407 10 MINUTES IS UP. 372 00:18:28,409 --> 00:18:31,510 YOU MAY NOW COME OUT OF THE CORNER. 373 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:35,514 YES, HERR FLICK. 374 00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:40,786 LET THAT BE A LESSON TO YOU. 375 00:18:40,788 --> 00:18:43,822 NEVER AGAIN WILL YOU BURN MY TOAST. 376 00:18:46,259 --> 00:18:48,661 YES, HERR FLICK. MAY I SIT? 377 00:18:48,663 --> 00:18:49,795 YES. 378 00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:54,166 YOU MAY CONTINUE WITH YOUR TEA. 379 00:18:54,168 --> 00:18:57,436 I HAVE KEPT YOUR EGG WARM UNDER THE COZY. 380 00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:02,908 YOU HAVE A VERY KIND STREAK IN YOUR NATURE. 381 00:19:02,910 --> 00:19:05,877 I NEARLY FAILED MY GESTAPO EXAMS 382 00:19:05,879 --> 00:19:07,546 BECAUSE OF IT. 383 00:19:07,548 --> 00:19:10,115 IT IS A VERY STRONG SHELL. 384 00:19:10,117 --> 00:19:12,518 HIT IT HARD WITH YOUR SPOON. 385 00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:15,854 THEY ALWAYS BREAK IN THE END. 386 00:19:15,856 --> 00:19:18,557 YOU ARE LOOKING PENSIVE, HERR FLICK. 387 00:19:18,559 --> 00:19:20,792 I AM TRYING TO DECIDE 388 00:19:20,794 --> 00:19:22,928 WHAT TO DO WITH YOU TONIGHT. 389 00:19:22,930 --> 00:19:25,030 I SEE, HERR FLICK. 390 00:19:25,032 --> 00:19:27,299 I MIGHT TAKE YOU TO THE MOVIES. 391 00:19:27,301 --> 00:19:28,534 WHAT IS SHOWING? 392 00:19:28,536 --> 00:19:30,603 ANYTHING WE LIKE. 393 00:19:32,038 --> 00:19:35,974 OR WE COULD STAY HERE AND AMUSE OURSELVES. 394 00:19:35,976 --> 00:19:38,810 I HAVE A BOX OF SHARP NEEDLES SOMEWHERE. 395 00:19:41,615 --> 00:19:43,815 AHH, HERE THEY ARE. 396 00:19:43,817 --> 00:19:45,817 WHAT HAVE YOU IN MIND, HERR FLICK? 397 00:19:45,819 --> 00:19:49,355 I HAVE AN EXCELLENT GRAMOPHONE, 398 00:19:49,357 --> 00:19:51,957 AND MANY RECORDS OF HITLER'S SPEECHES. 399 00:19:51,959 --> 00:19:55,127 THEY ARE QUITE AMUSING. 400 00:19:55,129 --> 00:19:57,496 HITLER'S SPEECHES, QUITE AMUSING? 401 00:19:57,498 --> 00:20:00,332 PLAYED AT DOUBLE SPEED, 402 00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:04,670 HE SOUNDS LIKE DONALD DUCK. 403 00:20:07,106 --> 00:20:09,308 ♪ JUST SEE WHAT THE BOYS ♪ 404 00:20:09,310 --> 00:20:11,744 ♪ IN THE BACK ROOM WILL HAVE ♪ 405 00:20:11,746 --> 00:20:14,212 ♪ AND TELL THEM I SIGHED ♪ 406 00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:16,782 ♪ AND TELL THEM I CRIED ♪ 407 00:20:16,784 --> 00:20:19,151 ♪ AND TELL THEM I DIED ♪ 408 00:20:19,153 --> 00:20:23,589 ♪ OF THE SAAA-AAAME. ♪ 409 00:20:23,591 --> 00:20:25,824 ( silent response ) 410 00:20:25,826 --> 00:20:28,126 THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND APPLAUSE. 411 00:20:28,128 --> 00:20:31,497 NOW, PLEASE, WILL YOU SHOW YOUR APPRECIATION 412 00:20:31,499 --> 00:20:33,732 FOR OUR PIANIST, MONSIEUR LECLERC? 413 00:20:38,405 --> 00:20:40,071 THE LIEUTENANT IS HERE. 414 00:20:41,107 --> 00:20:42,107 COLONEL? 415 00:20:43,276 --> 00:20:44,242 COLONEL! 416 00:20:45,478 --> 00:20:48,314 I'M SORRY, RENE. THE CHEESE, YOU KNOW? 417 00:20:48,316 --> 00:20:49,915 LOOK. 418 00:20:51,951 --> 00:20:53,519 I WILL TAKE CARE OF HIM. 419 00:20:53,521 --> 00:20:55,187 YOU AND HANS KNOW WHAT TO DO? 420 00:20:55,189 --> 00:20:57,656 I AM SORRY I AM LATE, COLONEL. 421 00:20:57,658 --> 00:20:59,425 PERHAPS YOUR ARMORED CAR WOULD NOT START, 422 00:20:59,427 --> 00:21:00,892 YOU HAD TO LEAVE IT AT THE BARRACKS? 423 00:21:00,894 --> 00:21:02,461 SHE STARTED ON THE BUTTON. 424 00:21:02,463 --> 00:21:04,463 BUT SHE WAS NEARLY OUT OF GASOLINE. 425 00:21:04,465 --> 00:21:05,831 - GOOD. - SO I FILLED HER UP. 426 00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:09,301 THAT'S OUR TABLE OVER THERE. 427 00:21:09,303 --> 00:21:11,069 OH, HOW COZY. 428 00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:13,505 TAKE THIS. 429 00:21:15,875 --> 00:21:17,909 RENE, HANS, YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO. 430 00:21:17,911 --> 00:21:20,446 - GOOD LUCK TO YOU. - COLONEL... 431 00:21:20,448 --> 00:21:22,348 HE HAS JUST TAKEN THE FLOWERS 432 00:21:22,350 --> 00:21:24,850 FROM THE NEXT TABLE. GOOD LUCK TO YOU TOO. 433 00:21:28,254 --> 00:21:29,455 CAPTAIN. 434 00:21:30,657 --> 00:21:32,624 DEAR COLONEL, WOULD YOU PREFER 435 00:21:32,626 --> 00:21:34,727 YOUR BACK TO THE WALL OR THE ROOM? 436 00:21:34,729 --> 00:21:36,729 I THINK THE WALL. 437 00:21:39,766 --> 00:21:41,299 SIT DOWN, HUBERT, 438 00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:43,702 AND TELL ME ALL ABOUT YOURSELF. 439 00:21:43,704 --> 00:21:45,971 WELL, IT HAS BEEN A HARD DAY. 440 00:21:45,973 --> 00:21:47,873 I AM QUITE HOARSE, YOU KNOW, 441 00:21:47,875 --> 00:21:49,775 FROM ORDERING SOLDIERS ABOUT. 442 00:21:49,777 --> 00:21:52,378 YES, IT'S HARD BEING A GERMAN OFFICER, 443 00:21:52,380 --> 00:21:55,247 ALL THAT SHOUTING AND STAMPING OF FEET. 444 00:21:55,249 --> 00:21:57,315 PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND, DO THEY? 445 00:21:57,317 --> 00:21:59,017 I FEAR THEY DO NOT. 446 00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:05,857 DO WE HAVE A KEY OR A TIN OPENER? 447 00:22:05,859 --> 00:22:09,294 THEY DO NOT LOCK. AFTER ALL, WHO WOULD NICK AN ARMORED CAR? 448 00:22:15,201 --> 00:22:16,935 WEAR THIS. 449 00:22:16,937 --> 00:22:18,069 WHAT FOR? 450 00:22:18,071 --> 00:22:20,071 IF THE RESISTANCE TAKE A POT SHOT AT YOU 451 00:22:20,073 --> 00:22:22,941 - IT WILL BOUNCE OFF. - BOUNCE OFF?! 452 00:22:22,943 --> 00:22:25,244 I AM NOT STICKING MY HEAD OUT OF THERE. 453 00:22:25,246 --> 00:22:26,311 I'LL DRIVE. 454 00:22:40,660 --> 00:22:42,661 START THE ENGINE! 455 00:22:42,663 --> 00:22:44,496 KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN. 456 00:22:44,498 --> 00:22:45,930 SORRY. 457 00:22:47,967 --> 00:22:49,535 IT IS THAT LITTLE KNOB IN FRONT. 458 00:22:49,537 --> 00:22:52,304 ( engine cranks ) 459 00:22:52,306 --> 00:22:54,273 GIVE IT A BIT MORE CHOKE. 460 00:22:56,008 --> 00:22:57,709 ( engine starts ) 461 00:22:57,711 --> 00:22:59,144 FORWARD! 462 00:23:03,082 --> 00:23:04,883 I SAID FORWARD, YOU ARE GOING BACKWARDS! 463 00:23:07,620 --> 00:23:09,521 DID I HIT SOMETHING? 464 00:23:09,523 --> 00:23:11,723 THE COLONEL'S CAR! 465 00:23:11,725 --> 00:23:12,891 HE WILL DO HIS NUT. 466 00:23:17,330 --> 00:23:18,797 NEVER MIND. 467 00:23:18,799 --> 00:23:20,532 HE WILL BLAME THE RESISTANCE 468 00:23:20,534 --> 00:23:22,367 AND SHOOT A COUPLE OF PEASANTS. 469 00:23:22,369 --> 00:23:24,269 WHAT AM I SAYING? 470 00:23:24,271 --> 00:23:26,438 HOW EASY IT IS TO SLIP INTO THE WAYS 471 00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:28,139 OF BEING A NAZI. 472 00:23:32,679 --> 00:23:34,713 AH, GOOD EVENING, COLONEL. 473 00:23:34,715 --> 00:23:37,749 WAS EVERYTHING TO YOUR SATISFACTION? 474 00:23:37,751 --> 00:23:40,118 UP TO A POINT. 475 00:23:40,120 --> 00:23:41,986 YOU KNOW ME, YVETTE. 476 00:23:41,988 --> 00:23:44,055 COLONEL... 477 00:23:44,057 --> 00:23:47,292 WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SIT UPON YOUR... KNEE? 478 00:23:47,294 --> 00:23:49,294 THAT SOUNDS LIKE A BIT OF FUN, 479 00:23:49,296 --> 00:23:50,895 DOESN'T IT, HUBERT? 480 00:23:50,897 --> 00:23:52,764 IF YOU SAY SO, COLONEL. 481 00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,835 SHALL I REST ON YOUR KNEE, LIEUTENANT GRUBER? 482 00:23:56,837 --> 00:23:58,237 WELL... 483 00:23:58,239 --> 00:24:00,672 GO ON, HUBERT. YOU'RE IN THE TANK CORPS. 484 00:24:00,674 --> 00:24:02,474 IT'LL BE GOOD FOR YOUR IMAGE. 485 00:24:05,878 --> 00:24:12,083 ARE THE DROVER OF ARMORED CURR 4219 ON THE CAFE? 486 00:24:12,085 --> 00:24:14,253 4219? THAT IS MY ARMORED CAR. 487 00:24:14,255 --> 00:24:17,789 IT HAS BEEN DROVEN AWAR BY TWO MIN. 488 00:24:17,791 --> 00:24:19,424 YOU FOOL! 489 00:24:19,426 --> 00:24:21,393 MY ARMORED CAR IS STOLEN?! 490 00:24:21,395 --> 00:24:22,927 DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, HUBERT. 491 00:24:22,929 --> 00:24:24,429 IT'S PROBABLY SOME LOCAL BOYS 492 00:24:24,431 --> 00:24:25,830 PLAYING A LITTLE PRANK. 493 00:24:25,832 --> 00:24:28,567 I MUST REPORT IT AT ONCE TO MY HEADQUARTERS. 494 00:24:28,569 --> 00:24:30,269 JUST THINK HOW CROSS THEY WILL BE 495 00:24:30,271 --> 00:24:33,004 WHEN THEY'VE FOUND OUT YOU'VE LOST YOUR ARMORED CAR. 496 00:24:33,006 --> 00:24:35,407 BELIEVE ME, IT'LL COME BACK IF YOU'RE PATIENT. 497 00:24:35,409 --> 00:24:37,409 BUT WHAT IF IT DOES NOT? 498 00:24:37,411 --> 00:24:39,578 AND WHAT AM I DOING HOLDING THIS GIRL? 499 00:24:39,580 --> 00:24:40,612 AARGHH! 500 00:24:40,614 --> 00:24:42,781 I KNOW, I WILL REPORT IT AT ONCE 501 00:24:42,783 --> 00:24:44,483 TO HERR FLICK OF THE GESTAPO. 502 00:24:44,485 --> 00:24:46,752 HE WILL MAKE DISCREET ENQUIRIES. 503 00:24:48,087 --> 00:24:49,755 HE OWES ME A FAVOR. 504 00:24:56,562 --> 00:24:58,597 WHY HAVE WE LEFT THE MAIN ROAD? 505 00:24:58,599 --> 00:25:01,433 A MOTORCYCLE WAS FOLLOWING US. 506 00:25:01,435 --> 00:25:04,503 DON'T WORRY, THIS LANE LEADS TO THE RAILWAY LINE. 507 00:25:06,706 --> 00:25:08,774 IS HE STILL FOLLOWING? 508 00:25:08,776 --> 00:25:10,475 JUST A MINUTE, I WILL HAVE A LOOK. 509 00:25:13,012 --> 00:25:14,646 - ( metal clangs ) - Hans: OOOF! 510 00:25:15,782 --> 00:25:17,649 CAN YOU SEE THE MOTORCYCLE? 511 00:25:19,619 --> 00:25:21,119 NOT AT THE MOMENT. 512 00:25:23,255 --> 00:25:26,625 ( record playing at high speed ) 513 00:25:34,834 --> 00:25:38,537 ( high speed anthem playing ) 514 00:25:38,539 --> 00:25:39,805 ( phone rings ) 515 00:25:39,807 --> 00:25:41,272 STOP THE MACHINE! 516 00:25:43,209 --> 00:25:44,743 ( rings ) 517 00:25:46,212 --> 00:25:48,447 FLICK-- THE GESTAPO. 518 00:25:48,449 --> 00:25:51,282 NO, I SAID, FLICK, THE GESTAPO. 519 00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:56,221 YES, GRUBER. 520 00:25:58,991 --> 00:26:01,125 YES, GRUBER. 521 00:26:02,662 --> 00:26:04,529 YES, GRUBER. 522 00:26:04,531 --> 00:26:06,398 YOU ARE VERY CARELESS! 523 00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:09,167 STAY WHERE YOU ARE. I WILL COME AT ONCE. 524 00:26:09,169 --> 00:26:10,935 YOU WILL COME WITH ME. 525 00:26:15,441 --> 00:26:18,543 HOLD MY SCHMEISSER WHILE I REMOVE MY CARPET SLIPPERS. 526 00:26:26,419 --> 00:26:28,353 I CAN SEE THE RAILWAY LINE. 527 00:26:28,355 --> 00:26:30,121 STOP HERE. 528 00:26:36,829 --> 00:26:38,497 ( train chugging faintly ) 529 00:26:38,499 --> 00:26:40,231 I CAN HEAR THE TRAIN COMING. 530 00:26:40,233 --> 00:26:42,401 OH, DEAR. PASS ME A SHELL. 531 00:26:42,403 --> 00:26:45,637 - WELL, WHERE ARE THEY? - THEY MUST BE IN HERE SOMEWHERE. 532 00:26:45,639 --> 00:26:47,338 TRY THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT. 533 00:26:50,142 --> 00:26:51,710 HAVE YOU FOUND ANYTHING? 534 00:26:51,712 --> 00:26:53,712 JUST SOME LADIES UNDERWEAR-- 535 00:26:53,714 --> 00:26:55,514 AND SOME SHAVING LOTION. 536 00:26:55,516 --> 00:26:57,382 ( train whistles ) 537 00:26:57,384 --> 00:26:59,117 AH, I HAVE ONE. 538 00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:00,852 GOOD. WELL, HURRY UP. 539 00:27:00,854 --> 00:27:02,120 IT IS GETTING NEARER. 540 00:27:02,122 --> 00:27:04,389 I THINK IT IS LOADED. NOW, I HAVE TO AIM 541 00:27:04,391 --> 00:27:06,658 FOR THE THIRD WAGON FROM THE END. 542 00:27:06,660 --> 00:27:09,193 - YES, GOOD LUCK. - PUT YOUR FINGERS IN YOUR EARS. 543 00:27:09,195 --> 00:27:10,896 THERE MAY BE A BIG BANG. 544 00:27:12,799 --> 00:27:13,998 I CAN SEE IT. 545 00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,000 ONE, TWO, THREE... 546 00:27:16,002 --> 00:27:17,302 THAT'S THE ONE. 547 00:27:23,976 --> 00:27:25,076 MISSED! 548 00:27:26,378 --> 00:27:28,146 QUICK, ANOTHER SHELL. 549 00:27:30,015 --> 00:27:31,917 CAN YOU GET A LITTLE BIT NEARER? 550 00:27:31,919 --> 00:27:33,785 NO, I CAN NOT. 551 00:27:33,787 --> 00:27:36,955 ONE, TWO THREE... 552 00:27:36,957 --> 00:27:38,323 ( cannon fires ) 553 00:27:42,462 --> 00:27:45,430 YOU HAVE BLOWN UP THE SIGNAL BOX. 554 00:27:45,432 --> 00:27:47,632 I THINK THE BARREL IS BENT. 555 00:27:47,634 --> 00:27:49,734 THERE GOES THE TRAIN. 556 00:27:49,736 --> 00:27:51,937 THERE GOES HITLER'S SAUSAGE. 557 00:27:51,939 --> 00:27:54,940 DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD CATCH IT UP FURTHER DOWN THE LINE? 558 00:27:54,942 --> 00:27:56,074 NO, 559 00:27:56,076 --> 00:27:58,409 THE WAY I DRIVE, I WOULD NEVER CATCH IT. 560 00:27:58,411 --> 00:28:00,612 AND THE WAY YOU SHOOT, YOU WOULD NEVER HIT IT. 561 00:28:00,614 --> 00:28:02,714 I THINK WE GO HOME. 562 00:28:06,853 --> 00:28:09,855 ( theme music playing ) 55430

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.