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Previously on Young Sheldon...
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Paige?
3
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I'm so happy to see you.
4
00:00:05,054 --> 00:00:06,486
Are you happy to see me?
5
00:00:06,488 --> 00:00:08,406
Not immediately.
6
00:00:08,409 --> 00:00:10,756
I don't usually see young
people at my lectures.
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I enjoyed your paper on
accelerator mass spectrometry
8
00:00:13,629 --> 00:00:15,095
and wanted to find out more.
9
00:00:15,097 --> 00:00:17,698
- And you?
- I read this magazine.
10
00:00:17,700 --> 00:00:20,100
- Uh-huh.
- It has puzzles, too.
11
00:00:20,102 --> 00:00:22,239
Well, I think my parents
are getting a divorce.
12
00:00:22,242 --> 00:00:24,738
- Why?
- They fight all the time.
13
00:00:24,740 --> 00:00:27,674
- I guess I'm lucky.
- Why?
14
00:00:27,677 --> 00:00:30,601
I'm the glue that holds
our family together.
15
00:00:36,986 --> 00:00:38,418
[MEEMAW CHUCKLES]
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What do you think of these?
17
00:00:41,167 --> 00:00:43,523
They're nice, but you're
already taller than John.
18
00:00:43,525 --> 00:00:44,858
Won't they make that worse?
19
00:00:44,860 --> 00:00:46,843
No, makes it better.
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He likes me to be dominating.
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00:00:48,597 --> 00:00:50,597
I don't want to hear that.
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Sometimes he makes me wear these
when we're... messing around.
23
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I said I don't want to hear it.
24
00:00:57,239 --> 00:00:59,606
I wanted to say it.
25
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All right, I don't have the
Sperry loafers in your size,
26
00:01:03,312 --> 00:01:05,112
but I do have the Hush Puppies.
27
00:01:05,114 --> 00:01:07,481
I don't wear brown Hush
Puppies penny loafers,
28
00:01:07,483 --> 00:01:09,710
I wear brown Sperry penny loafers.
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00:01:09,713 --> 00:01:11,884
- But they're exactly the same.
- Well, do they come
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00:01:11,887 --> 00:01:13,687
in a box that says Sperry penny loafers?
31
00:01:13,689 --> 00:01:15,255
Because that one says Hush Puppies.
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Just try 'em on, honey.
33
00:01:16,932 --> 00:01:20,226
- What if I like them?
- Well, then we'll get them.
34
00:01:20,229 --> 00:01:22,562
All right, let's go over this again.
35
00:01:22,564 --> 00:01:24,863
I don't wear brown Hush
Puppies penny loafers,
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00:01:24,866 --> 00:01:26,366
I wear brown Sperry...
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Would you give us a moment?
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Happily.
39
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When we get to the
Hello Kitty store today,
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00:01:31,531 --> 00:01:33,540
remember I was the good child.
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Oh, hi, Mary.
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00:01:35,110 --> 00:01:37,177
Linda. So good to see you.
43
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- Hi, Sheldon.
- Hello, Paige.
44
00:01:39,448 --> 00:01:41,386
- Hi, Missy.
- Hi!
45
00:01:41,389 --> 00:01:44,090
Look at these rain boots...
They have ducks on them.
46
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And the ducks are wearing boots.
47
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Those are so cute.
48
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[PAIGE GIGGLING]
49
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- Well, what a nice coincidence.
- Yeah.
50
00:01:50,995 --> 00:01:52,092
Good to see you.
51
00:01:52,094 --> 00:01:53,293
Yeah. How are things?
52
00:01:53,295 --> 00:01:54,494
Well, at the moment,
53
00:01:54,496 --> 00:01:56,020
trying to get shoes for Sheldon,
54
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but they only have these,
not the ones he likes.
55
00:01:59,535 --> 00:02:05,038
Ah. You know, I think that brand
is the same kind Einstein wore.
56
00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:07,808
Well, I've never seen
a picture of his feet.
57
00:02:07,810 --> 00:02:10,510
And you're a grown-up,
so you wouldn't lie to me.
58
00:02:10,512 --> 00:02:14,047
I guess I have no choice
but to believe you.
59
00:02:14,049 --> 00:02:15,682
All right, I'll try them.
60
00:02:15,684 --> 00:02:18,367
Great! [MOUTHS]
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00:02:18,370 --> 00:02:21,555
Hey, Mom, can Missy and I
go to the Hello Kitty store?
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00:02:21,557 --> 00:02:24,059
Well, it's okay with me
if it's okay with Mary.
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00:02:24,062 --> 00:02:26,827
It's okay, but you better
be on your best behavior.
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I will, I promise.
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Go ahead.
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Boy, you steal one pencil sharpener
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and you never hear the end of it.
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How do they feel?
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My brand loyalty is
being severely tested.
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♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
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♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
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♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
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♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
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- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
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[MUSIC PLAYING OVER RADIO]
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00:03:04,466 --> 00:03:07,968
Did you guys know Paige
speaks three languages?
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Really? That's impressive.
78
00:03:10,706 --> 00:03:12,839
You only speak one.
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00:03:12,841 --> 00:03:16,009
Two. I'm learning
conversational Klingon.
80
00:03:16,011 --> 00:03:17,511
That's impressive, too.
81
00:03:17,513 --> 00:03:19,546
[SPEAKS IN KLINGON]
82
00:03:19,548 --> 00:03:21,848
Hey, Mom, can Paige
sleep over this weekend?
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00:03:21,850 --> 00:03:24,301
I guess, if her mother says okay.
84
00:03:24,304 --> 00:03:26,453
Wait, where is she going to sleep?
85
00:03:26,455 --> 00:03:28,388
In your bed. You can sleep on the couch.
86
00:03:28,390 --> 00:03:29,790
Absolutely not.
87
00:03:29,792 --> 00:03:31,591
I've already changed
my brand of loafers,
88
00:03:31,593 --> 00:03:34,861
I am not changing my sleeping quarters.
89
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How about you stay at
Meemaw's? You like that.
90
00:03:37,099 --> 00:03:39,015
No, Meemaw has a date.
91
00:03:39,018 --> 00:03:40,133
So?
92
00:03:40,135 --> 00:03:41,701
So if those shoes I just bought
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00:03:41,704 --> 00:03:42,718
do their job,
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00:03:42,721 --> 00:03:44,938
that will be a "no
children allowed" scenario.
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00:03:46,191 --> 00:03:49,325
Well, I'm sleeping in
my bed, and that's that.
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00:03:49,328 --> 00:03:51,545
Fine, Paige and I can share my bed.
97
00:03:51,547 --> 00:03:53,213
You okay with that, Shelly?
98
00:03:53,215 --> 00:03:57,117
I trust you two will stay
quiet throughout the evening
99
00:03:57,119 --> 00:03:58,952
and go to sleep at the appropriate time?
100
00:03:58,954 --> 00:04:01,488
Absolutely.
101
00:04:01,490 --> 00:04:04,224
All right, then. I'm okay with it, Mom.
102
00:04:04,227 --> 00:04:07,962
How is he ever gonna
get through this world?
103
00:04:11,015 --> 00:04:13,133
- [KNOCKING]
- Welcome, come on in.
104
00:04:13,135 --> 00:04:14,937
Oh, thank you.
105
00:04:14,940 --> 00:04:17,704
You look nice. Going out
to dinner with your husband?
106
00:04:17,706 --> 00:04:19,382
Ugh, no. Girlfriends.
107
00:04:19,385 --> 00:04:20,807
Hi, Sheldon.
108
00:04:20,809 --> 00:04:22,242
Hello.
109
00:04:22,244 --> 00:04:23,343
What are you doing?
110
00:04:23,345 --> 00:04:25,312
Chemistry homework for extra credit.
111
00:04:25,314 --> 00:04:27,147
Cute, I did that last year.
112
00:04:27,149 --> 00:04:28,882
MISSY: Paige!
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Missy!
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00:04:30,819 --> 00:04:33,053
Aw, they're so sweet.
115
00:04:33,055 --> 00:04:36,690
Yeah, life'll suck that
right out of them soon enough.
116
00:04:36,692 --> 00:04:38,356
- Well, bye.
- Bye.
117
00:04:38,359 --> 00:04:41,403
You got to meet my dolls...
I told them all about you!
118
00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:44,164
[GIGGLING]
119
00:04:44,166 --> 00:04:47,507
"Cute, I did that last year."
120
00:04:47,510 --> 00:04:49,836
Thank you for agreeing
to the early-bird dinner.
121
00:04:49,838 --> 00:04:54,286
When I eat too late, the
food just sits right here.
122
00:04:54,289 --> 00:04:56,476
Yeah, gettin' old is no party.
123
00:04:56,478 --> 00:04:59,679
Oh, I've had this
problem since I was ten.
124
00:04:59,681 --> 00:05:04,651
When I was in grade school,
my nickname was Old Burpy.
125
00:05:04,653 --> 00:05:07,287
Well, I will not be calling you that.
126
00:05:07,289 --> 00:05:08,655
You can if you'd like.
127
00:05:08,657 --> 00:05:10,123
[CHUCKLES]: I'm good.
128
00:05:10,125 --> 00:05:12,859
So, I have a little surprise for you.
129
00:05:12,861 --> 00:05:15,028
Oh, I love surprises. Whatcha got?
130
00:05:15,030 --> 00:05:16,863
I'm going to learn to drive.
131
00:05:16,865 --> 00:05:18,468
Really?
132
00:05:18,471 --> 00:05:19,799
Yes.
133
00:05:19,801 --> 00:05:23,436
While I love having you
be the dominant personality
134
00:05:23,438 --> 00:05:26,806
behind closed doors,
I think out in public
135
00:05:26,808 --> 00:05:29,368
I ought to take on more of a macho role.
136
00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:30,497
[LAUGHS]
137
00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:33,146
Well, you're macho enough for me, John,
138
00:05:33,148 --> 00:05:36,516
but I would enjoy not having
to drive us all the time.
139
00:05:36,518 --> 00:05:37,751
Then it's settled.
140
00:05:37,753 --> 00:05:39,419
Well, when do you start?
141
00:05:39,421 --> 00:05:41,154
As soon as you teach me.
142
00:05:41,156 --> 00:05:45,158
Me? Do you really think
that's a good idea?
143
00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:48,528
It's perfect. I teach you about science
144
00:05:48,530 --> 00:05:50,196
so you can impress your grandson,
145
00:05:50,198 --> 00:05:54,234
and you teach me to drive
so I can impress you.
146
00:05:54,236 --> 00:05:59,051
Okay, but if we do this, I'm in charge.
147
00:05:59,054 --> 00:06:03,810
You have to do what I say when
and how I tell you to do it.
148
00:06:03,812 --> 00:06:07,681
Hubba-hubba, it's like
we're back in the bedroom.
149
00:06:07,683 --> 00:06:09,349
[BOTH LAUGHING]
150
00:06:09,351 --> 00:06:12,886
Did you know that tea was
discovered by accident?
151
00:06:12,888 --> 00:06:15,522
I didn't, but I don't
know lots of stuff.
152
00:06:15,524 --> 00:06:18,405
The Emperor Shennong of China
was boiling water in his garden
153
00:06:18,408 --> 00:06:20,942
and a leaf from a tea
tree fell into his pot.
154
00:06:20,945 --> 00:06:23,063
Tea comes from trees?
155
00:06:23,065 --> 00:06:25,365
Where'd you think it comes from?
156
00:06:25,367 --> 00:06:27,067
The supermarket.
157
00:06:27,069 --> 00:06:28,435
[CHUCKLES]
158
00:06:28,437 --> 00:06:31,471
What, the girls leave you
out of their little picnic?
159
00:06:31,473 --> 00:06:33,006
Oh, they invited him.
160
00:06:33,008 --> 00:06:34,512
Well, then why ain't you out there?
161
00:06:34,515 --> 00:06:37,544
Eat outdoors? Do I look
like a hippie to you?
162
00:06:37,546 --> 00:06:39,379
I thought Paige was your friend.
163
00:06:39,381 --> 00:06:41,114
She's more of a colleague.
164
00:06:41,116 --> 00:06:42,182
Oh.
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00:06:42,184 --> 00:06:43,583
Although for reasons unknown,
166
00:06:43,585 --> 00:06:45,819
she's currently behaving
like a ten-year-old.
167
00:06:45,821 --> 00:06:48,121
Maybe that's because
she is a ten-year-old.
168
00:06:48,123 --> 00:06:49,531
Still no excuse.
169
00:06:51,492 --> 00:06:53,425
All right, I'm just
gonna come out and ask it:
170
00:06:53,428 --> 00:06:55,218
what the heck is a colleague?
171
00:07:00,671 --> 00:07:02,350
Okay, pick a number.
172
00:07:02,352 --> 00:07:03,451
Three.
173
00:07:03,453 --> 00:07:05,319
PAIGE: One, two, three.
174
00:07:05,321 --> 00:07:06,787
Now pick a color.
175
00:07:06,789 --> 00:07:08,155
Pink, duh.
176
00:07:08,157 --> 00:07:12,718
The name of your future pony is...
177
00:07:12,721 --> 00:07:14,829
Sparkle Sunshine.
178
00:07:14,831 --> 00:07:17,097
I would totally name it that!
179
00:07:17,100 --> 00:07:19,800
Sheldon, do you want to
have your fortune read?
180
00:07:19,802 --> 00:07:21,669
Absolutely not.
181
00:07:21,671 --> 00:07:24,705
And I cannot believe a person
as smart as you is doing it.
182
00:07:24,707 --> 00:07:26,807
Why? It's fun.
183
00:07:26,809 --> 00:07:30,211
He doesn't know how to
have fun; he's an old man.
184
00:07:30,213 --> 00:07:31,646
I'm not an old man.
185
00:07:31,648 --> 00:07:33,814
Oh, yeah? What's your favorite color?
186
00:07:33,816 --> 00:07:35,182
Khaki.
187
00:07:35,184 --> 00:07:37,285
- Old man.
- [CHUCKLES]
188
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:45,141
[PAIGE AND MISSY GIGGLE]
189
00:07:45,144 --> 00:07:47,191
I'm trying to sleep.
190
00:07:47,194 --> 00:07:49,261
Come inside and play with us.
191
00:07:49,264 --> 00:07:50,409
Don't invite him.
192
00:07:50,412 --> 00:07:51,730
This is a girls fort,
193
00:07:51,733 --> 00:07:53,148
not an old man fort.
194
00:07:53,151 --> 00:07:55,062
I'm not an old man.
195
00:07:55,065 --> 00:07:56,664
Then come inside.
196
00:07:56,667 --> 00:07:58,673
Are you crazy? It's bedtime.
197
00:07:58,675 --> 00:08:01,575
Old man.
198
00:08:01,577 --> 00:08:03,210
[PAIGE AND MISSY LAUGHING]
199
00:08:12,955 --> 00:08:14,922
[SNORING SOFTLY]
200
00:08:20,863 --> 00:08:22,763
[WHISPERING]: What are you doing?
201
00:08:22,765 --> 00:08:25,074
[WHISPERING]: We're tying
Georgie's ankles together.
202
00:08:25,077 --> 00:08:27,868
[WHISPERING]: So when he
gets out of bed he falls down.
203
00:08:27,870 --> 00:08:29,403
But he could get hurt.
204
00:08:29,405 --> 00:08:31,038
If we're lucky.
205
00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:33,341
Well, I will not be a party to this.
206
00:08:33,343 --> 00:08:35,042
Old man.
207
00:08:35,044 --> 00:08:36,677
[GIGGLES]
208
00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:42,515
That's when the bloodthirsty Goatman...
209
00:08:42,518 --> 00:08:44,752
Part goat, part man...
210
00:08:44,754 --> 00:08:49,223
- Crept up on the sleeping children...
- No.
211
00:08:49,225 --> 00:08:53,031
...and sank his sharp little
teeth into their necks...
212
00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:54,001
No.
213
00:08:54,004 --> 00:08:56,163
...and drank their blood!
214
00:08:56,165 --> 00:08:57,732
No.
215
00:08:57,734 --> 00:08:59,176
Problem?
216
00:08:59,179 --> 00:09:01,559
Several. First of all,
goats are herbivores.
217
00:09:01,562 --> 00:09:03,904
They don't eat meat,
let alone drink blood.
218
00:09:03,906 --> 00:09:06,073
Maybe the half man part drinks blood.
219
00:09:06,075 --> 00:09:09,310
Don't even get me started
on the "half man" stuff.
220
00:09:09,312 --> 00:09:12,621
Sheldon, it's just a fun scary story.
221
00:09:12,624 --> 00:09:14,648
It's nonsense is what it is.
222
00:09:14,650 --> 00:09:15,916
Old man.
223
00:09:15,918 --> 00:09:17,718
I'm not an old man, I'm ten.
224
00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:19,387
More like 110.
225
00:09:19,389 --> 00:09:22,757
You know, I read that adults
who had a stunted childhood
226
00:09:22,759 --> 00:09:25,359
often become social misfits and weirdos.
227
00:09:25,361 --> 00:09:27,294
You didn't read that,
you're making it up
228
00:09:27,296 --> 00:09:28,662
like your goat story.
229
00:09:28,664 --> 00:09:32,967
Psychology Magazine,
February issue, 1988.
230
00:09:32,969 --> 00:09:34,335
Well, um...
231
00:09:34,337 --> 00:09:36,837
That doesn't make it true.
232
00:09:36,839 --> 00:09:38,606
Guess you'll find out
when you're an adult.
233
00:09:38,608 --> 00:09:40,474
I guess I will.
234
00:09:42,845 --> 00:09:45,846
ADULT SHELDON: Well, we
know how this story ends.
235
00:09:45,848 --> 00:09:47,801
I grew up to become a well-adjusted
236
00:09:47,804 --> 00:09:50,017
and charming fellow. But
at that moment in time,
237
00:09:50,019 --> 00:09:51,352
she had me worried.
238
00:09:51,354 --> 00:09:55,923
MISSY: Hey, Georgie,
breakfast. Mom made Eggos.
239
00:09:55,925 --> 00:09:57,992
GEORGE JR.: Eggos, sweet.
240
00:09:57,994 --> 00:10:00,194
- [BODY THUDS]
- Ow! Dang it!
241
00:10:00,196 --> 00:10:02,340
[PAIGE AND MISSY LAUGHING]
242
00:10:06,727 --> 00:10:07,947
Oh, dear.
243
00:10:07,950 --> 00:10:08,982
What?
244
00:10:08,985 --> 00:10:10,625
Paige was right.
245
00:10:10,627 --> 00:10:12,627
"There's ample evidence to indicate
246
00:10:12,629 --> 00:10:15,764
that a stunted childhood can
cause one to be maladjusted
247
00:10:15,766 --> 00:10:16,932
as an adult."
248
00:10:16,934 --> 00:10:18,233
Then I'm screwed.
249
00:10:18,235 --> 00:10:19,935
What do you mean?
250
00:10:19,937 --> 00:10:22,537
When I'm not in school,
I'm doing homework.
251
00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:25,273
When I'm not doing homework,
I'm practicing my cello.
252
00:10:25,275 --> 00:10:26,808
And when I'm not doing that,
253
00:10:26,810 --> 00:10:28,543
I'm working in my parents' store.
254
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:31,046
That must be why we're friends.
255
00:10:31,048 --> 00:10:32,347
We're both stunted.
256
00:10:32,349 --> 00:10:33,782
Sounds right.
257
00:10:33,784 --> 00:10:36,751
Well, I for one plan to
do something about it.
258
00:10:36,753 --> 00:10:38,587
Like what?
259
00:10:38,589 --> 00:10:41,590
I'm going to goof off,
engage in horseplay,
260
00:10:41,592 --> 00:10:43,825
and if time permits, be quite immature.
261
00:10:43,827 --> 00:10:45,260
If time permits?
262
00:10:45,262 --> 00:10:47,180
I have homework, too.
263
00:10:47,183 --> 00:10:49,631
Would you like to join
me in my shenanigans?
264
00:10:49,633 --> 00:10:50,966
No, thanks.
265
00:10:50,968 --> 00:10:54,469
Aren't you concerned about
being a maladjusted adult?
266
00:10:54,471 --> 00:10:57,146
Nah. I'll just marry an American woman
267
00:10:57,149 --> 00:10:59,374
and hope she can fix me.
268
00:11:04,781 --> 00:11:07,115
I'm usually the one giving the tests,
269
00:11:07,117 --> 00:11:10,285
but, uh, today I'm taking one.
270
00:11:10,287 --> 00:11:11,620
No talking.
271
00:11:11,622 --> 00:11:15,991
And I usually say that to my students.
272
00:11:18,829 --> 00:11:20,262
[MOUTHING]
273
00:11:20,264 --> 00:11:21,296
What?
274
00:11:21,298 --> 00:11:23,365
[QUIETLY]: How's it going?
275
00:11:23,367 --> 00:11:26,401
I can't tell you. There's no talking.
276
00:11:26,403 --> 00:11:28,970
- No talking.
- Sorry.
277
00:11:37,047 --> 00:11:38,280
Mind if I join you?
278
00:11:38,282 --> 00:11:39,314
Doing what?
279
00:11:39,316 --> 00:11:41,650
- Swinging.
- Seriously?
280
00:11:41,652 --> 00:11:44,452
Yes. It's my hope to
feel the wind in my hair
281
00:11:44,454 --> 00:11:46,930
- and be carefree.
- Um, okay.
282
00:11:51,388 --> 00:11:54,322
["ALSO SPRACH ZARATHUSTRA"
BY RICHARD STRAUSS PLAYING]
283
00:12:01,104 --> 00:12:03,939
Sheldon threw up on me.
Sheldon threw up on me!
284
00:12:05,742 --> 00:12:09,144
Okay, rearview mirrors.
285
00:12:09,146 --> 00:12:11,479
Um, all set.
286
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:15,183
Turn signal left. Turn signal right.
287
00:12:15,185 --> 00:12:17,919
Um, foot on the brake.
288
00:12:17,921 --> 00:12:21,389
Transmission in drive.
289
00:12:25,661 --> 00:12:28,228
You have to start the car first.
290
00:12:28,231 --> 00:12:30,365
Of course.
291
00:12:30,367 --> 00:12:31,833
Sorry, I'm a bit nervous.
292
00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:33,568
You're not alone.
293
00:12:33,570 --> 00:12:36,304
[ENGINE STARTS]
294
00:12:36,306 --> 00:12:39,107
And here we go.
295
00:12:44,715 --> 00:12:47,382
STURGIS: This is crazy.
296
00:12:47,384 --> 00:12:48,917
I'm doing it.
297
00:13:00,297 --> 00:13:02,664
Excuse me, I was hoping to purchase
298
00:13:02,666 --> 00:13:04,699
some practical joke paraphernalia
299
00:13:04,701 --> 00:13:06,701
so that I may behave childishly.
300
00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:08,103
Rack in the corner.
301
00:13:08,105 --> 00:13:09,371
Thank you.
302
00:13:16,646 --> 00:13:18,580
♪ ♪
303
00:13:23,887 --> 00:13:27,722
"If it's funny, it's a Bazinga."
304
00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:28,990
Interesting.
305
00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:37,799
Yellow light. Yellow light!
306
00:13:37,801 --> 00:13:39,134
It's okay, keep going.
307
00:13:39,136 --> 00:13:40,635
But yellow means slow down.
308
00:13:40,637 --> 00:13:42,255
You can't slow down in the intersection!
309
00:13:42,258 --> 00:13:43,405
Keep going.
310
00:13:43,407 --> 00:13:45,006
- Are you sure?
- Yes.
311
00:13:45,008 --> 00:13:46,107
Go. Go!
312
00:13:46,109 --> 00:13:49,077
[SCREAMING]
313
00:13:55,318 --> 00:13:59,054
[LAUGHING]: Oh, God. Oh, God.
314
00:13:59,056 --> 00:14:00,555
Oh...
315
00:14:00,557 --> 00:14:01,923
I'm so sorry.
316
00:14:01,925 --> 00:14:03,892
It's okay, we're fine.
317
00:14:03,894 --> 00:14:05,493
Nobody got hurt.
318
00:14:05,495 --> 00:14:07,328
I don't think I can do this, Connie.
319
00:14:07,330 --> 00:14:09,597
Of course you can. We're
just getting started.
320
00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:12,834
No, it's too much information.
I can't process it.
321
00:14:12,836 --> 00:14:14,803
It was just a yellow light.
322
00:14:14,805 --> 00:14:18,006
Not just the light.
There were other cars.
323
00:14:18,008 --> 00:14:19,174
There's pedestrians.
324
00:14:19,176 --> 00:14:21,709
- There was a guy on a bicycle.
- So?
325
00:14:21,711 --> 00:14:23,545
That's just too many random elements.
326
00:14:23,547 --> 00:14:26,181
The-the-the stimuli are overwhelming.
327
00:14:26,184 --> 00:14:28,951
Okay. Okay.
328
00:14:28,954 --> 00:14:31,920
[SIGHS]
329
00:14:31,922 --> 00:14:34,322
I'm sorry. I know I'm letting you down.
330
00:14:34,324 --> 00:14:37,225
Oh, don't be silly.
You're not letting me down.
331
00:14:37,227 --> 00:14:39,094
[CHUCKLES]
332
00:14:39,096 --> 00:14:42,163
I love you whether you can drive or not.
333
00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:45,767
You love me?
334
00:14:48,204 --> 00:14:51,872
Well, I...
335
00:14:51,875 --> 00:14:53,875
I suppose I do.
336
00:14:53,877 --> 00:14:58,713
[LAUGHS] Am I allowed to reciprocate?
337
00:14:58,715 --> 00:15:02,217
Sure, if that's the way you feel.
338
00:15:02,219 --> 00:15:04,219
[LAUGHS]: Oh, it is.
339
00:15:04,221 --> 00:15:06,554
I love you, too, Connie.
340
00:15:06,556 --> 00:15:09,430
[CHUCKLING]: Well...
341
00:15:12,394 --> 00:15:14,161
That's just great.
342
00:15:14,164 --> 00:15:16,798
- All righty.
- [LAUGHS]
343
00:15:18,502 --> 00:15:20,435
Would you like to switch seats with me?
344
00:15:20,437 --> 00:15:23,004
Yes, but give me a minute
345
00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:25,840
because my legs are a little wobbly.
346
00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:28,877
Is that from the yellow
light or the "I love yous"?
347
00:15:28,879 --> 00:15:30,178
Both.
348
00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:32,347
[BOTH LAUGHING]
349
00:15:34,084 --> 00:15:37,118
Dad, would you care for a piece of gum?
350
00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:38,553
No, thank you.
351
00:15:38,555 --> 00:15:40,288
Please, take a piece of gum.
352
00:15:40,290 --> 00:15:41,589
Why?
353
00:15:41,591 --> 00:15:42,857
Just please.
354
00:15:46,596 --> 00:15:47,929
Bazinga.
355
00:15:49,711 --> 00:15:51,266
You understand any of that?
356
00:15:51,268 --> 00:15:53,935
I don't know, I guess he's
just being a little boy.
357
00:15:53,937 --> 00:15:55,703
Since when?
358
00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:58,740
- [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- SHELDON: Georgie? Georgie?
359
00:15:58,742 --> 00:15:59,941
What?
360
00:15:59,943 --> 00:16:04,180
Would you like some salted mixed nuts?
361
00:16:04,183 --> 00:16:05,279
Nah.
362
00:16:05,282 --> 00:16:07,048
Look, they're the fancy kind.
363
00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:08,583
That's a trick can.
364
00:16:08,585 --> 00:16:10,118
No, it's not.
365
00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:12,253
Listen. When you shake it,
there's a rattling sound,
366
00:16:12,255 --> 00:16:13,788
as if nuts are inside.
367
00:16:13,790 --> 00:16:14,989
[RATTLING]
368
00:16:14,991 --> 00:16:18,126
Fine.
369
00:16:18,128 --> 00:16:19,627
[SCREAMS]
370
00:16:21,331 --> 00:16:24,098
Bazinga.
371
00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:25,967
[PHONE RINGING]
372
00:16:25,969 --> 00:16:28,336
Sparks residence, Billy speaking.
373
00:16:28,338 --> 00:16:29,951
SHELDON: This is the electric company.
374
00:16:29,954 --> 00:16:31,060
Hello.
375
00:16:31,063 --> 00:16:33,575
I'm calling to see if your
refrigerator is running.
376
00:16:33,578 --> 00:16:36,078
I'll go check.
377
00:16:39,382 --> 00:16:41,082
I'm back. It's running.
378
00:16:41,084 --> 00:16:43,044
Well, then you better go catch it.
379
00:16:43,047 --> 00:16:45,954
- Bazinga.
- [DIAL TONE]
380
00:16:45,956 --> 00:16:47,722
[PHONE RINGING]
381
00:16:47,724 --> 00:16:49,568
MEEMAW [ON RECORDING]:
This is Connie Tucker.
382
00:16:49,571 --> 00:16:52,227
Leave a message when you hear the... beep.
383
00:16:52,229 --> 00:16:53,928
[MACHINE BEEPS]
384
00:16:53,930 --> 00:16:56,664
SHELDON: Hello, um, Meemaw,
385
00:16:56,666 --> 00:16:58,166
this is Sheldon.
386
00:16:58,168 --> 00:17:02,737
If you were home, I was going
to say, "Is Mr. Wall there?"
387
00:17:02,739 --> 00:17:04,172
And then you would say, "No."
388
00:17:04,174 --> 00:17:07,175
And then I would say,
"Is Mrs. Wall there?"
389
00:17:07,177 --> 00:17:08,743
And then you would say, "No."
390
00:17:08,745 --> 00:17:11,333
And then I would say,
"Well, if there are no walls,
391
00:17:11,336 --> 00:17:14,282
then how does your roof stay up?"
392
00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:17,385
Um, okay. Bazinga.
393
00:17:17,387 --> 00:17:20,822
That was pathetic.
394
00:17:20,824 --> 00:17:22,790
It was.
395
00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:26,461
I'm not sure I'm cut out for
these antics and shenanigans.
396
00:17:26,463 --> 00:17:28,896
I guess you're gonna
grow up to be a weirdo.
397
00:17:28,898 --> 00:17:31,199
I suppose I am.
398
00:17:31,201 --> 00:17:33,534
Life is so confusing.
399
00:17:33,536 --> 00:17:36,537
I always hoped it would be easier for me
400
00:17:36,539 --> 00:17:37,939
when I grew up, but...
401
00:17:39,241 --> 00:17:42,242
...now I'm not so sure it will.
402
00:17:42,245 --> 00:17:44,545
It's gonna be all right.
403
00:17:44,547 --> 00:17:45,913
[LOUD FLATULENCE SOUND]
404
00:17:51,855 --> 00:17:53,087
You were faking?
405
00:17:55,524 --> 00:17:57,563
Bazinga.
406
00:17:57,566 --> 00:17:59,365
ADULT SHELDON: And that's how I became
407
00:17:59,368 --> 00:18:02,704
the madcap prankster all
my friends know and love.
408
00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:10,070
So, John, how was your
first driving lesson?
409
00:18:10,073 --> 00:18:12,040
[EXHALES] Intense.
410
00:18:12,042 --> 00:18:13,274
At one point,
411
00:18:13,276 --> 00:18:15,410
I was approaching an intersection.
412
00:18:15,412 --> 00:18:18,213
The light was green,
but at the last moment,
413
00:18:18,216 --> 00:18:19,715
it turned yellow.
414
00:18:19,718 --> 00:18:20,951
I didn't know what to do.
415
00:18:20,954 --> 00:18:23,518
Should I keep going? Should I stop?
416
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:25,687
There were other cars nearby.
417
00:18:25,689 --> 00:18:26,955
Connie was yelling.
418
00:18:26,957 --> 00:18:29,560
A glare from the sun was in my eyes.
419
00:18:29,563 --> 00:18:30,792
So, what happened?
420
00:18:30,794 --> 00:18:32,927
Somehow, I managed to make it through,
421
00:18:32,929 --> 00:18:34,794
turned on my directional,
422
00:18:34,797 --> 00:18:36,576
and slowly pulled
423
00:18:36,579 --> 00:18:38,533
to the side of the road.
424
00:18:38,535 --> 00:18:42,303
[EXHALES] That's how
you tell a scary story.
425
00:18:43,586 --> 00:18:46,374
In lighter news, your meemaw loves me.
426
00:18:51,375 --> 00:18:56,051
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
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