Original subtitles

There is a saying,

"believe none of what you hear and only half of what you see."

That's good advice, because we live in a world of bullshit.

All over the place.

That's the old guy, though. Man, he's not lookin' good.

He's got this big incontinent problem.

It's just... yeah, it's sad.

- He was such a good dog for so long. - And some ketchup, please.

- Great dog. - Oh, yeah.

He's the best bird dog I think I ever had.

Excuse me, do you happen to have the time?

- 8:45. - Forty-five. You guys here on vacation?

- Yeah, we're up for pheasant season. - Oh.

Trying to figure out whether to blow the day at the potawatomi museum

- or the indoor water park? - Neither.

I'm not much of a hunter myself. I got a friend who is... was.

His friend went to shoot some quail

and accidentally hit him square in the face.

Took his whole left cheek right off.

Of course, he ended up suing the guy for $1.2 million.

Poor fellow lost everything. Last I heard he was

living out in the woods somewhere, in a cardboard box.

All because of an accident.

That's a guy who could of used a little bit of liability coverage.

Anything can be the start of a conversation, "excuse me,

do you have the time?"

Well, you laugh. It's an oldie but a goodie.

Hotels are a great hunting grounds.

People are away from home, they're ready to chit-chat.

Get their ear. Give 'em a sob story. Then hit 'em with a worst-case scenario.

You're kidding me.

Great, here it comes. Same speech he gives every year.

My philosophy has always been, "it's not your aptitude,

- but your attitude... - Attitude.

That determines your altitude."

- Congrats on the award. - Whatever.

What I'm really excited about it my personalized keychain.

Look at this. Fourteen karat brass.

Two decades of service and that's what I got to show for it.

Eh, well, we love you in the claims department.

Uh... zinfandel, white.

What I'd really like is Phil peters’ award out there. Look at him.

Only reason that guy tops a million dollars in sales

is ‘cause he's got the half dozen people bird-doggin' for him.

I've just got Chuck.

You know, it's an off year. You'll come back.

Yeah. Just wanna make it to Aruba, you know?

Yeah, well, I saw the brochure. Wow. They're goin' all out for the 50th.

That's where you wanna make it.

I mean, none of this rinky-dink Wisconsin crap, you know?

- Let's go. - Oh. Gotta go.

Yeah.

- Well, you folks have a safe trip. - Thanks.

Careful on those icy roads.

Hey. You have change for a vending machine for a 507?

Stay away from the corn nuts. I know a guy who broke his jaw on one.

- You here on vacation? - Yeah.

I'm Bob egan, I was at your seminar today.

- God, this is a thrill for me. - Oh, yeah, yeah.

- You were at the convention. - Yeah, I'm with southwest mutual currently.

But I'm just here doing a little networking.

All right, good luck with that.

It's great to meet you.

Too bad. You let him get away.

Oh, no, no. He's a colleague of mine. I'll give it to him later.

Oh. Well, if you're not seein’ him till later,

how about puttin’ it to good use right now?

I just lost 40 bucks in the slots.

I could use some more cheerin' up.

Ok. All right. No, no, no. Here, here.

- I think. - Ok, how much farther is it?

‘Cause I got a bladder the size of a peanut.

Well, it's just, uh...

Oh, hey. Hi.

Uh... this is, uh... sherri.

- He's a winner! - She's...

She's, uh... Interested in insurance, so...

We're gonna... all right.

I'm just gonna help her walk it off.

Oh, god.

Oh, shit.

Didn't realize you had a security problem here.

Good thing you got my credit card on file.

I had my wallet stolen from my room last night.

Sorry, sir. I'll just get the manager for you.

Maybe your homeowners will cover it.

Jesus Christ. $4.50 for a diet coke. I feel like I've been robbed twice.

Yeah, I know. Money's been burnin’ a hole in my pocket, too.

I'm lucky, though. My trip paid off. I got a job offer.

Which is great because I've been hopin' to move back

so my wife can be closer to her parents.

- Mr. prohaska. - Yeah.

You're in luck. We found your wallet in the casino.

Oh, I see she preferred paper to plastic.

- Great, thanks. - She?

Well, I'm assumin’ it was one of the maids that works here.

Nice of her to clean out my wallet, as well.

Oh, hey, look. I still got a few twenties. Um...

Here, uh, take that for your trip.

And I'll just give you my card

and you can just mail it back to me whenever you get a chance.

Yeah. Well, thanks, Bob egan.

- Yeah. Sure. - Thank you.

Oh, look. Better say goodbye to my new boss.

Who decided that honesty's the best policy?

If you ask me, it's overrated.

Any fool can tell the truth, but to lie well? That takes real skill.

So you're gonna be working with Phil Peters, huh?

Oh, hey. Yeah, yeah.

I'm actually in the market for a new hire myself.

A good salesman can convince you of... Anything.

He'll steal the eyes right out of your head and make you believe the lights are out.

I got about a half dozen agents working for me. Some of the best in the state.

We've had a hell of a year.

He'll make you all kinds of promises,

hoping you forget that in life there are no guarantees.

Where'd you say your in-laws live again?

- Racine. - Racine?

Yeah, that's up near my territory.

Phil's all the way up there in Milwaukee.

Mind me askin’ how much he's offering ya?

Uh, well, it's a 70-30 split to start until I get my state license, which,

I feel like it's a pretty good deal because I'm the new guy in the office.

You're lettin' him take that much?

Man, that's a lot. I think I probably could beat his rate by...

I don't know, five percent.

- Five percent? - Yep.

- Sounds like a good deal. - Yeah.

- Ok. Ok. - Ok.

This story isn't about insurance.

It's about deception.

And that's a high-risk business.

If you want to come out on top, you've got to be a smooth talker,

a master manipulator,

a genius of bullshit.

Man, in high voice: Prohaska agency.

Oh, no, he's not here right now, can I...?

Can I take a message?

The what?

No, we're not in the market for office furniture.

I can't be answering my own phone. You're a half hour late.

I'm sorry, I had to take the bus. My car wouldn't start again.

Man, you need to get rid of that crummy thing once and for all.

I know. I was waiting till I got a raise.

I was supposed to remind you of that after the holidays.

Yeah, we gotta figure something out on that.

Hi, Chuck.

Don't tell me, you came in for the free coffee.

- I had an appointment in town. - Dressed like that?

Jesus, Chuck, you ever hear of personal packaging?

I was with Hank starkwell over at the meat packers. It's freezing in there.

That's another thing. You need to stop spending time with existing policy holders.

The big commissions are in new sales.

There's a trucker in Bristol on line one wanting to meet someone about coverage.

Just take a message. Tell... I'll give it to Bob.

Uh, so this Bob fellow...

He's not gonna be cutting in on my territory, is he?

You want to drive all the way out to fucking Bristol, be my guest.

I sure don't. Country roads are murder on my car.

Besides, this guy's practically working for free.

I brought you in some more liability forms.

Happy to keep sendin’ 'em in under my name until you're licensed.

God, thank you. That is terrific.

I gotta find out when the next exam is.

Take your time, study up. My secretary says it's gotten a lot tougher.

She's been taking classes just to prepare.

- Oh, yeah? - Mm.

Is she gonna start selling for ya?

Karla? I don't know about that.

Be better at the knicky-knack little details.

Following up on paperwork and so forth. Female brain.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

You know, I should just come by the office next time.

- I mean, I'd love to meet everybody. - Our sales guys are barely in.

This is the new office. We do most of our sales by the telephone

and the rest of the time we're out networking. In fact,

you should think about joining some clubs.

- Can't get used to this weather. - You never get used to it, Bob, ever.

There's two seasons here, winter and road works.

Hey, that's a nice car. It's pretty easy to spot.

Yeah, my initials. Some son of a bitch got there first.

Look at all this. I don't know which is worse,

the snow or the goddamn salt. It ruins everything.

Oh, hey, by the way, I, uh...

I stopped by and saw that trucker that you asked me to talk to.

I hope he made the long drive worth it for ya.

Oh, yeah, yeah. He's a super nice guy, but we actually found out

that he could do better with an outfit he already trucks for.

There's nothing wrong with a little information management, Bob.

Well, truth of it, he didn't have that much to spend.

But he did introduce me to a neighbor of his

who's looking for a full homeowners package.

He's a sweet old man. He's a retired farmer.

I'm actually going out there tomorrow. I'm gonna make a second call.

You gotta be careful with seniors. They'll keep you out there all day long

- just to have somebody to talk to. - No, no. He's pretty interested.

He's just wavering on the amount of coverage.

I mean, we don't wanna have him over-insured.

There's no such thing.

I've got a few other things to get to, Bob.

Maybe he forgot, he's older. I don't wanna waste any more of your time.

I'll come back next week.

Hey, it was really nice of you, though, to come out, help me try to close.

Crappy job shoveling. This is an accident waitin' to happen.

You should stress that in your sales pitch, scare him a little bit, you know?

- Bob? Nice to see you. - Hey, frank.

Mickey, this is frank Richie.

This is the guy that asked me about the truck insurance.

Oh! Oh, Mickey prohaska. Hi.

- Nice to meet you. - Yeah, yeah.

Say, Bob, thanks for your help.

You saved me a good 200 bucks. You fellas here to meet with gorvy?

Yeah, yeah, but he doesn't seem to be in.

Oh, come on in. Maybe he's asleep.

He must be outside with his dog.

- It's chilly here. - Yeah, he keeps the temperature low.

Doesn't like to waste.

- I can see that. - Some of these things are his sister's.

I brought 'em down after she went into the nursing home.

I told him I'd find out if any of it was worth anything.

I did some truckin' for an auctioneer.

He told me a guy once paid a hundred grand for a rug.

Anything can happen, right?

This rug might be worth a small fortune.

Well, this is not workin’ the way they promised.

I was hopin’ more uranium or gold.

I find two quarters and a railroad spike.

Gorvy, I tried to call you.

You gotta remember, hang your phone up.

Oh, yeah. Hello, hello.

Do I know these people?

- I'm Bob egan. I met you the other day. - Nice to meet you.

- Mickey prohaska. Hi. - Hi. Nice to meet you.

Want to come in? I could make some coffee.

I can't stay. Did you get a chance to take those pictures?

Well, I took pictures of petey.

No. I meant the pictures for the auctioneer.

I'm doin' a run for him this week.

Yeah, I was upstairs. I took everything down so I could see them.

It was too dark up there. Look what I found.

- Snow shoes. - I've always wanted to try those.

Well, take them. I got no use for them no more.

I'll let you folks do your business. Listen to 'em, gorvy.

- Ok. - They're here to help ya. Bye, guys.

- Bye. - Well, we might as well sit down.

What do I need insurance for?

Well, for one thing, to protect your valuables.

I don't got no valuables, except for petey.

- Do you sell dog insurance? - No, but we do protect property.

And we insure with liability coverage.

Have you ever thought what might happen out there on your front porch

if somebody were to slip and get hurt?

Well, nobody comes here much except frank and he wears those big boots,

you know, with cleats. So he's ok.

What about the mailman?

If, for instance, your dog there were to bite him?

He could sue you for a lot of money.

No. He's a nice guy. He wouldn't sue nobody.

Well, I got some peanut brittle. Fresh made if ya like.

- No, we should probably get going. - Yeah, I'm ok.

- Thank you. - Yeah.

Oh, what time is it?

Oh, Andy Griffith's on. I gotta watch this one.

You're welcome to stay if you like.

So I think that he's interested in this one, but I'm not sure.

Can you deal with the guy in the back there?

Thanks.

You can't keep letting the mail pile up at our house.

Have you told anybody we're separated?

What am I supposed to say? You've been outta the house for two months.

I know. I really miss you.

This payin’ for two places is killing me financially.

I may have to take out a second loan on the house.

If you need money so bad, why don't you sell that car?

Don't be ridiculous, Jo Ann.

I can't show up to a sales call drivin' a crappy car.

Yeah, well, you went behind my back!

We should've discussed it like married people.

Discuss what? don schmidt gave me a great trade-in on my car.

He's a policy holder.

So you bartered with Shane's college fund?

No, he's 14 years old.

We've got four years to pay it back.

By all rights, if you wanna be mad at somebody, be mad at ed.

When's the last time that schmuck paid child support?

- Oh, please. - Hey. Whoa. Hey.

- I'm not gonna... - Listen, look, look, look.

Look at this, huh?

Aruba. That's where the convention is this year.

It's gonna be all warm and nice. We could all get away again.

That'd be great, wouldn't it?

I gotta get to work.

Ok.

Shit.

What'd the nice night inn want?

They need a new credit card number. The one they have for you is maxed.

We're out of coffee.

I asked you to get some more milk.

You know, I am capable of doing more than just making coffee.

I could do anything.

Maybe this isn't the right job for me. I gotta think about my future.

Karla, I got a plan for your future, ok?

I decided to make you chief financial officer.

You'll be handling all the bookkeeping from now on. You can start with those.

- Wait, these are personal. - All right?

Not the agency's.

- I am the agency, Karla. - What about my raise?

You got any of that Christmas candy I gave you?

Listen, we're gonna do a reevaluation, ok?

Do a salary review at the end of the month,

see how you're doing. See if you can handle more responsibility.

Prohaska agency.

Oh, you must mean Bob.

So, you decided to buy a policy?

- Great. - That a sale?

I'll take that.

Where... where is the other guy?

He was unavailable. What made you change your mind?

My TV's broken. He told me that the insurance would take care of it.

Well, it doesn't exactly work that way.

Besides, you have to have a policy in order to file a claim.

Yeah, well, that's why I called you over here. I want to get a policy.

That's a very smart decision.

It's a small price to pay for some peace of mind, right?

Yeah. So how much will this be?

Well, for your property here, I'd recommend insuring it for $300,000.

For this little place? $300,000 for this?

Nothing here is worth that much money.

You'd be very surprised. It starts to add up.

Your friend, frank, said that that rug alone could be worth $100,000.

- Get away! - Oh, yeah.

This rug right here?

For $100 a month, you can protect it, along with all your other belongings.

I don't wanna scare you with this story, but I know a guy who came home

from work one day and his house was gone. Dust. Gas leak.

Last thing I heard he was livin’ out in the woods in a cardboard box.

Well, I don't want me and petey livin' out in the woods.

- Mm-hm. - Not in this cold weather.

Mm-hm.

- Hundred dollars, you say? - Yep.

Ok.

Here we go.

All right, it might be better for you to putitin a check

so you have a copy for your records.

- Oh, yeah. A check. Right. - Yeah.

Ok, good.

You know, I don't have a personal one, but I do have one from the business.

- That'll work. Yeah. - Yeah?

Ok, yeah. The golden harvest account.

They come every summer. They plant the corn,

and I tell you...

I tell you it's worth its weight in gold.

The corns... these days... They use it for gasoline.

- There you are and just right there. - Yeah.

Ok.

- Ok. - Good. Go fix the TV now.

They came straight at me, so many surgeries, doctor visits, bills.

I'm so grateful for the attorneys at hersh and mcclennon.

- It won't cost you... - Ok. You're all set.

I got everything I need here.

I'll just let myself out.

Oh, I'm glad you're here, I've just... I've been calling and calling,

the phone just kept ringing busy. But, uh... well, I'm Leonard dahl

from Oscar dahl and sons.

- The luthier. The violin maker. - Hm-hm.

- Well... - The polaroid that you sent me

was kinda blurry, but I could see from the neck and the scroll work

- that it's a promising instrument. - Ok, you want the homeowner.

Just a sec. Gorvy? Mr. hauer?

- Is that it over there? - Gorvy?

You can't keep it by the door here,

it's very, very sensitive to temperature and humidity.

He's... he's asleep.

Hey, you're gonna have to come back. All right? He's asleep.

No, I can't come back. I'm from Chicago. I never get out here.

- Sir. - How about a second here?

Wait a minute. Whoops.

Gotta fix. Gotta fix.

Ok.

- It's got a really nice, mature tone. - Great.

- And very good volume and projection. - Listen, I gotta go.

Well, wait a minute. Could you hold that for me?

Just, I'm gonna... take a picture.

Ok. Little higher.

Now, it's got a sound crack and it's got some surface damage,

but I can match that. I'll be... I'll be outta here in a second.

I can match the varnish perfectly.

I'm gonna be able to sell this thing, perhaps.

I'm gonna have to make the repairs first and my rates are very reasonable.

Oh, you're tryin' to squeeze the homeowner for some money?

Nice sales pitch, but you're barkin' up the wrong tree,

unless you wanna be paid in pennies. Let's go.

Now, you can't... You can't keep it there.

Well, you need to keep her away from the mall. I'll tell you that.

Because your premiums are gonna skyrocket.

Yeah.

- Hello? - Well, I...

Is anyone there? Listen, my TV is not working again.

I think I need a new one instead of this insurance.

- Can you hold on, John? - Hello...

Hello?

Yeah. Are you sure it's not unplugged again?

No. No, you don't wanna cancel your policy. It's not processed yet.

Yes. No, I can be out there...

Be out there in a half hour, ok? Just sit tight.

Thank you, Mr. hauer.

- Bob. - Oh, hey.

- How long have you been here? - I just got here.

Just here droppin’ off some of these auto policies,

and I wanted to meet Karla so I brought her these.

Oh, yeah, yeah. You just missed her. She had one of her insurance classes today.

Look at all these awards you've won. Wow.

Well, we're all part of the operation.

- Let me take... the policy? - Oh, yeah.

So where are you... where you headed?

Oh, one of my clients’ wives had another Fender bender.

I swear, these women are gonna kill my loss ratio.

Hopefully your wife doesn't drive a big wagon.

Oh, no, no. She doesn't drive a big wagon. No.

Yeah. Let me show you where the key is.

And the main door's open late.

Yeah, my wife doesn't actually drive anymore.

She started having these seizures.

That's why we moved back there to be with her parents.

Well, I'm glad that's workin’ out.

I don't know.

The plugs look good.

Here's the problem. Past due.

Oh...

- Gotta pay your bills, gorvy. - Oh, god.

Wow.

Looks like you're really gonna make some money on that violin.

I don't have no violin.

Once in a while, an opportunity'll come along,

you'd have to be a fool not to jump on it.

Real fire hazard in here, gorvy.

All this stuff piled up. Gotta get rid of some of this.

- Look at this. - Can't just leave it...

Look at this, I do have a violin.

I didn't even know it. It was staring me right in the face.

Not so good, but a violin.

Well, my stepson'’s really into music.

He might like this thing. Pretty beat up.

Tell you what. I'll give you...

Twenty... I'll give you ten. I'll give you $10 for it.

I'll tell you what. If you take me to the bank

where I can deposit the money in my money jar, I will give you the violin

- for $10. - The bank's about to close.

- We'll never make it. - Well, we'll do it Monday.

We do that, we come back here, we watch some TV. We make a day of it.

It'll be safe here.

Good. Ok. We do it.

Come on, don't blame a guy for trying to make a good deal.

For a salesman, making deals is a way of life.

Everything becomes a negotiation,

and every meeting is a chance to score.

Hi. I wrote you a check.

I wanna replace all the money I took out of the account.

- It's not just about the money, Mickey. - I know. I know it's not, I'm sorry.

I really screwed up.

Come on, Jo Ann, it's freezing out here.

Hm...

Good to be back in my own bed.

Things are gonna be different this time.

Yeah. No more secrets.

I just want you to be honest.

It's heavy.

Must be over a hundred dollars in there.

Ok.

Here, save me a place in line. I have to go to the bathroom.

If you get to the front, ask for bill Morton.

Tell him it's for the golden harvest account. That's my farm.

No, gorvy...

Oh...

Sorry.

Here, here. Let me help. Let me help you with that.

To see you. Good doggy, too.

Thought you were comin’ back in.

Well, I went across the street to find a bathroom.

Then I met this nice man with the nice doggy.

- Oh. - Oh! Aha, good.

$122.41. I knew there was more than $100 in there.

That includes the $10 I gave you.

- What? - For the violin.

Oh, I forgot. A man called me from Chicago, he wants to buy the violin.

- Said he sent me a letter about it. - No, no, no, no.

We already have a deal. I'm takin' the violin.

- What? - For my stepson.

Oh, no. I have a fishing pole, that I will give him...

No, no, no, that's not the deal, gorvy.

- No, it's the violin. - What will I tell the man from Chicago?

He's coming all the way to see it.

No, I'm really sorry, but the tononi's not for sale.

I was sure that I mentioned that. I'm so sorry if I didn't.

No, it's... I have a buyer for it.

Uh-huh. Well, he's a concert violinist.

A hundred and fifty.

Uh, well, give or take a couple thousand.

What? No, absolutely, if anything falls through,

you'll be the first to know, and...

Could you just give me the best number to call you at?

Is that... yes, is that 7-7-3?

Uh... yes, that's terrific.

Thank you very, very much. I will get right back to you.

Thank you, bye-bye. Excuse me, do you have an appointment?

I'm here about the violin you wanted.

Oh, you're the guy from the farm in Wisconsin.

- Yeah, Mickey prohaska. - Right. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm representing the seller. He's elderly, no condition to come here

and do business, so he's asked me to handle the sale.

Well, as I said in my letter, I'm prepared to offer $25,000.

I realize that. That's why I'm here.

I don't want you taking advantage of an old man, with all due respect.

Some of these violins are worth a lot more than that.

Oh, they certainly are, and some of them are worth a lot less.

And the one you're representing happens to be a very nice copy

of a stainer. Yeah...

Jacobus stainer's instruments were copied

and reproduced all over Germany.

Right down to the handwritten signature inside the body of the violin.

You can buy one of these things for as little as $500.

- Mm-hm. - Uh, and...

Here, you can show that to your client, if you like.

Now, yours happens to have an exceptional sound quality,

and it's also one of the better copies I've come across.

Which is why the buyer's willing to pay you $30,000 for it.

$30,000? What happened to 257?

I take a commission.

If you wanna have somebody else handle the sale? Be my guest.

I warn you, there's a lot of corruption out there.

- And why should I trust you? - This is a family-operated business.

We have survived for nearly a hundred years because of our reputation

and the quality of our work.

You know, the guy I was talking to when you came in, he will allow no one else

to even go near his instruments. And he can afford the best.

Is he the one who called about the stainer?

Stainer? No.

No, the buyer I have in mind for your violin is a musician.

The other guy has one of the largest

privately owned string collections in the world.

No one knows exactly what he's got or how he's got them.

There's a rumor going around that the davidoff strad

is hidden away somewhere in his bedroom. Supposedly, it was stolen

- from some virtuoso's Manhattan... - Who exactly is this guy?

Uh, somebody who appreciates my discretion.

Now, if you'd feel more comfortable, I can have the photos I took

sent to a colleague for a second opinion.

And I'd appreciate it if you didn't sell it in the meantime

and I'm happy to give you a ten percent deposit in good faith.

Uh... what is the owner's name?

It's not easy for him to get to the bank, he...

Uh... he prefers cash.

Mickey, there's a check missing.

Oh, yeah. I moved some money into Jo Ann and my joint account.

- Well, how much? - $30,000.

- What? - Well, that's almost the whole balance.

Price I had to pay in order to get back into my house.

I'm not spendin’ another dime on motels.

Mickey, you can't just take money without telling me.

- I'm in charge of finances now. - I'm gonna pay it all back.

I'm working on a very big deal, Karla.

- Gorvy? - Yeah, Mickey, hello. Come in.

You're just in time to watch some TV.

Hey, frank.

I didn't know you were here. I didn't see your rig.

- I snowshoed over. - Oh.

So what brings you all the way out here?

I like to check on my clients.

Yeah, he said the place is a fire hazard. He's gonna help me clean it up.

Gorvy, that reminds me. I gave your pictures to the auctioneer.

He sent a few of them to some experts, things he wasn't sure about.

Oh, yeah.

Oh! Better not walk on the rug!

Remember what you told me about the rug.

Well, I'm going to the washroom.

Tell me what happens.

My friends told me the rug is pretty much worthless. Too bad.

How 'bout a hit of schnapps? It'll warm you up.

No, I can't. I'm on the clock.

Yeah. I had an office job once.

But I had to give it all up when my marriage went to hell.

- Are you married? - Yes.

- Get along good? - Mm-hm.

Good. Because women can become pretty darn vindictive.

My ex was out to ruin me. She was on a mission.

She even turned all my friends against me.

The only thing I had left was my good name,

and that ended too, when she started spreading lies about me.

I had to leave town and start over.

Become a new person.

Frank, I'd love to take a look at those snowshoes.

Sure.

Good work, frank. Good work. Good going.

And don't forget my dog food!

Those are something.

Hey, have you heard anything from that guy in Chicago?

No. Oh!

Wait till you see this. This you've got to see.

Petey, come here!

This will make you laugh. Petey, come here!

Come, petey. Good boy. Good boy.

Good boy. Look.

Yeah, more singing.

Come, sing.

Lucky for petey, I didn't sell this thing.

Shane!

Hey, Shane!

Shane, open the door!

I'd get out of here if I were you, my mom's really pissed.

- What? - Shane, get out the way.

What the hell is goin' on?

Maybe I should ask you the same question.

Is there anything that you feel like you need to tell me?

What are you talking about?

Um... anything happen at the convention that's interesting? Like...

- Did you meet a woman? - Oh, god.

You've been talkin’ to Judy vandenhoevel.

Ok, she is full of crap.

I don't even know why Glen is with her.

That woman she's referring to happens to be a customer, Jo Ann.

That's your story? Oh, god!

Well, um, the assistant manager was kind enough to send us this.

And I don't even wanna think about how your customer's earring

- ended up in your hotel room. - That... she...

You know, nothing happened.

Hey... nothing happened.

And technically, you and I were separated.

Oh, god, I just...

I want you gone.

I mean it this time.

Mickey, when is this big deal gonna go through?

There's not a lot left in the account.

Hey, guys. I was just at the liquor barn, meeting with hap Swensen.

I thought I told you to quit wasting time with existing policyholders, Chuck.

You're supposed to be out drumming up new business.

He wanted me to give you this.

Is that liebfraumilch? They can't give that shit away.

I have to pay for all the office expenses, Mickey.

Cancel the housekeeping.

Who's gonna empty the trash?

Karla”? We're almost all out of copy paper.

Start recycling, guys.

And just give me those bills. I'll handle this, ok?

Oh, hey. Wow. You're here late.

I was just swingin’ by to drop off some of these policy forms for you to sign.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great. Thank you.

I actually... you don't have to drive all the way out here for these.

You can always just... Fake my signature,

and that way you can turn ‘em in to the home office yourself.

Oh, hey. I wanted to tell ya,

I had a terrific meeting with the manager over at Jimmy's wholesale.

And I bumped into gorvy and frank, they were buying groceries.

You know, I didn't realize that gorvy had actually

gone ahead and bought himself a policy.

Oh, yeah. Just a small little, uh, package.

I'll let you know when the commission comes in. It's nothing.

Oh, well, you know, I was just happy he got himself some coverage.

You know, I was worried about him, out there, all alone.

Yeah. He's not alone. He's got a dog.

God, that dog.

- What am I gonna do about that dog? - You don't like him either?

Uh... his sister's sick, she had a stroke.

So he's gonna go out to rhinelander to visit her

and he doesn't know what to do with the dog.

Oh, so the dog's gotta be sent away?

Well, I would take him, but my wife's allergic.

And it seems that frank's gotta go on a big trip to Idaho.

- So I don't know. - I got a client who's got a kennel.

- I'll call him. - You would?

You have a great day!

There's a fine line between a good salesman and a scam artist.

And behind every successful scam are a bunch of finely-tuned details.

Believe me, arranging them is... That's a real art.

Everything, and I mean everything, has to be carefully orchestrated.

It's not enough to tell a couple of lies.

You've gotta back them up with something people can actually see.

Every era has its master craftsmen.

In the age of bullshit, it's the guy that can convince people,

get them to believe.

The one who's pulling the strings.

Come on, gorvy. You're gonna miss your bus.

They're gonna be waitin’ at the kennel for Pete.

I need my lozenges.

- Yeah, you don't wanna forget those. - Yeah, yeah.

Look at him, he doesn't want to leave the violin.

- Hey, where are you goin’ with that? - I'll hide it upstairs.

May I help you?

Yeah. I'm here to finish installing the security system.

I brought the other keypad the guy wanted.

No. No, I think you may have to come back. We're actually just leaving.

No, no. It'll be fine. It'll only take a second.

Gorvy? Why is there a guy down here puttin’ in an alarm system?

When'd you decide to do that?

I saw your friend, Bob, at the supermarket the other day.

He said if I put in an alarm system my rates would go down.

- Why? Is he here? - Yes.

On.

Listen, will this go right through to the police when it's hooked up?

Uh, yeah. It's connected straight to the station.

L, um... I left my screwdriver somewhere around here when I installed it...

- Thanks for your help. - Yeah, I'll set my number

by the front door in case you need it, ok?

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

- Did we put in the numbers? - Yeah.

And once you press in the number, you got three minutes to leave the house.

Ok. Now, let's come on. We got to go.

- You want me to punch it in now? - Yeah.

I have to catch a bus. Petey, come on. Come. Good dog.

Warm up the car.

Hi, we're havin’ some trouble with this alarm you guys installed out here.

Hey, there.

Hey. What's the... What's the problem with the alarm?

Oh, no problem. I just need you to turn it off so I can get inside real quick.

It's ok, I'm friends with the owner.

Left some insurance paperwork in there.

Gotta turn in Mr. hauer's policy or it'll lapse.

On.

- Yeah. - Huh.

You know, uh... anyone can print these up.

- N... you met me earlier. - Mm-hm.

Ok. Tell you what.

Maybe it's worth, uh... extra 20.

You think I'm stupid? Just 'cause I don't have a fuckin' suit?

You businessmen. You know, I'm tryin’ to run a business, too.

But I'll tell you what, this'll cover the gas

gettin’ all the way back out here, so thanks.

Hey, don't act so innocent. I saw you try and steal that clock earlier.

- Excuse me? - Excuse me?

You know exactly what I'm talkin’ about.

Your word against mine, motherfucker.

Ok, well your fingerprints are all over that thing.

So I'll tell you what, we'll call the cops and we'll see...

Hey, we don't need the cops. Be quick about it, ok?

Yeah, I know.

I see you found your "paperwork."

Oh, hi, um... Somebody is here.

- Frank. What are you doin’ here? - Oh...

I came over to check on the house. Make sure all the doors are locked.

On.

- I thought you were on a road trip. - It got delayed because of the weather.

Gorvy still here?

No, no, no. I had to... Had to get him down to the bus...

The bus station. He's good.

Who is this guy? Is everything ok?

Yeah, it's fine. It's fine. He's with me.

- No, I am not. Don't you try to... - Let me handle this.

Hey, what's goin' on here?

It's my fault, I had to go up to get these papers earlier

to get back to the office asap because I'm tryin’ to get the place insured.

- What's in the bag there? - Oh, I knew this was not a good idea.

- No. - I'm gonna get goin’, guys.

Hold on, wait a minute. You're not goin' anywhere.

I saw your Van, it's got your name on it.

- Frank, take it easy. Calm down. - I'm callin’ the cops.

No, no, no. Listen. No. No! No! Jesus!

I said... no... cops!

Will somebody please fucking listen to me?!

I didn't mean that. I didn't mean to kill him.

This guy...

You didn't come here for paperwork, did you? You came here to rob the joint.

And that, plus this dead guy right here, that's felony murder.

This is your fucking fault, pal. You're as guilty as me.

I am not gonna go back to jail. I am not gonna go back to jail.

I cannot go back to jail.

Ok.

You're gonna keep your mouth shut or I'm gonna take you down with me.

You got it?

All right.

All right, let's think here. Let's take a second here. Let's fuckin' pause.

Would you hang up the fucking phone so I can think?!

All right! So...

We can't just leave him here because I turned off the alarm

and the old man knows I got the code so I'm gonna be a suspect.

I got a blow torch in my Van. I tell you what, we're gonna light this place up.

No, no. I know about arson investigations. Don't.

You know about arson investigations? That's not a good idea?

No? Really? You got a good idea?

No?

We could, uh...

Um... ah! We'll dump him in a lake! You know?

I got my ice fishing gear in my Van.

Lakes around here, they stay frozen until may.

By then there'll be nothin’ left of the guy, right?

- Help me roll him up in the carpet. - No, he'll know it's missing.

Then start cleaning it or something. I got a...

A tent in my Van. We'll wrap him up in that.

Close the door. Close the goddamn door, please.

Pop your trunk.

I don't want him oozin' all over my Van. I sleep in it sometimes.

My trunk’s full. He'll never fit.

All right.

Follow me, all right? We're gonna go to antioch, I got a lake up there.

And listen, hey...

Don't try to bail on me. Remember, right, I got this, right?

Tell you what. I'm gonna hold on to your fiddle, too.

What's so special about this fuckin' thing?

It's a violin. Sentimental value.

- Snow shoes. That's how he got here. - What?

Oh, that sneaky son of a bitch.

Thank god for the storm, it'll cover his tracks.

What are you doing?

I dropped my keys!

- Were you over here? - No, I was...

- Forget it, I'll hotwire it. - No, I have a wallet key.

You have a wallet key? You got a wallet key?

Then use it!

My names on the keychain. What if his blood's on the keys?

I don't give a shit! Get in your car. We have to go!

God damn it!

Now!

What are you, an idiot?

Somebody's out there. We gotta kill some time.

It's a slow sport.

Come on.

Let's go. Hey. Hey, hey.

Let's go. Hey-ho, hey. Snap out of it, all right? You're gonna act normal.

Hey, you're actin’ normal.

It's just, you know... We'll go in and get a beer.

Right? And stay away from the burgers. Curds are good, though.

So how long before somebody notices?

What? I don't know. I don't know.

He was a truck driver. He was on the road a lot.

But he ain't comin’ home this time, right?

- Has he got a wife? - He did.

Messy divorce.

I don't think she could find him even if she wanted to.

I didn't realize you had been to jail.

Yeah. My cousin set me up.

Meth lab. Blew up.

I took the fall for it. Have you ever seen a meth lab blow up?

No? Oh... you got to. It's spectacular.

You have flames comin’ out... Everywhere.

Of course, I had to beat him to a bloody pulp when I got out, but...

It's nothin’ permanent.

We're good now.

We picked a fuckin’ nice night for this. Do not just stand there, right now.

You understand? Do something. Untie him or you can dump him out

while I'm doin' some work.

Hey! Goddamn it, do not freeze up on me.

Hey, jerk. Don't go south.

There you go. Here, here! Warm up! Calm down!

Shit.

That's not gonna get bigger.

So... that needs to get smaller.

And that's not gonna be a "me" job, pal. That's a "we" job.

So... time for you to man the fuck up

in your little suit there. Here, take it.

Yes, you can.

And I guess I'm gonna start with the head maybe or the feet.

Don't be sick here! Hey, hey, hey!

There's DNA in that shit! Go back to the fuckin' car.

Puke in your own car. Go!

- Did you hear somethin’? - I'm sick.

Thought I heard somethin’.

Hey.

Keep your mouth shut.

Mickey, your landlord called and said your rent check bounced.

Prohaska agency.

Hold on.

Some locksmith said he needs to talk to you right away.

- I lost my keys. - Mickey.

The landlord's got my name as a reference. I vouched for you.

Here.

Give him that.

- Ok? - Ok.

Well, I'm not coming back before my class.

He's gonna charge you for that key, you know.

Hello.

Go, go! Cover him!

- Take it out! - Go, go, go!

Oh, shit!

What's going on?

I saw my Van in daylight is what's going on, and it is fucked up.

You got me rolling around with somebody's blood on my floor.

I know a guy who can detail it but, you know, what am I supposed to tell him?

What? Huh?

Tell him I was cleaning fish or somethin’.

You know what? It doesn't fuckin' matter. He doesn't care.

He just wants the money, and you owe me, too.

And I need a new tent. And my makita's all jacked up.

I gotta drive up to... Fuckin' Hurley to ditch it.

Near my stepbrother's cabin, and I hate my stepbrother.

So... I need five grand from you. Right now.

I don't have that kind of cash on me.

Ok. Well, I think you better get it by Monday...

Or um...

Yeah.

Ok.

Dick, what's going on with my account?

"Questionable business deductions?" What is this?

Yeah... my hands are tied. It's the IRS.

This happened to a neighbor of mine.

Somebody called the anonymous tipline on him.

I need...

I need to get my hands on some cash.

So let's just...

Well, luckily, Jo Ann was in a couple weeks ago.

We set up a personal account. That won't be affected.

Well, my secretary handles all of my finances, she obviously screwed up.

Well, I've been a card member for, like, 20-something years.

Just raise my credit limit so I can get some cash here. That's...

Can I speak to a supervisor?

Ok. I'm... Karla, I'm sorry. I just... I'm desperate.

You know, it's not my fault your credit cards are all maxed.

You're the one with the gambling problem.

What are you talking about?

The $20,000 you spent at the convention.

You were in the casino the whole time, weren't you?

Shit.

I had my wallet stolen when I was up there.

She must have used my credit cards while I was asleep. Goddamn it!

What'd the IRS say?

The number they gave has been busy all day.

- Can you find another one? - It's almost five, Mickey.

I gotta have this sorted out by Monday. Please, Karla.

Monday's a holiday. It's presidents’ day and you said I didn't have to come in.

You gotta help me.

I need some of that $30,000.

Come on, you gotta help me. I'm in real trouble here.

Jo Ann, I know you have it in an account.

Just get out of here, Mickey.

Hey, you know what? This is my church, too.

Jesus, Jo Ann, when did you get so goddamn vindictive?

- Shh! - You know what?

I'm in real trouble here. Ok?

You did it to yourself.

Right here. I just want the cash today.

- Oh, sorry, Mickey. - Today.

No, no. No, I can't take it unless it's a trade-in.

We're already overstocked in this model. Sorry.

L... I don't have the money yet. I need a little more time.

Well, that's gonna be a problem.

Take the violin.

You can take it. It's worth $30,000.

Are you really gonna try to Jack with me?

No. It's an important instrument, it comes from Germany.

It's called a stainer.

It's a copy of a very valuable violin.

- Oh, it's German? - Yeah.

- I didn't realize it was German. - No...

That's ama... What, do you think I'm stupid?

Look at me. Look at me. Why would I have bothered to take this thing?

Huh?

- What am I supposed to do with it? - You can just take it.

It's... the old man will never know it's gone.

Ok? You can sell it. You can pawn it.

Whatever. You take it, it's yours. That's yours.

But I... I work here. You can't be here. You need to go.

- $30,000? - Yeah.

You better not be screwing with me.

Ok.

- Hey. - What's happenin’, Bob?

Find you here on a holiday, huh?

You're a workaholic.

I just came by, I had some of these auto policies...

- Hey, did you get my note? - I've been a little busy.

- Oh, well... - Yeah?

I am glad that you got gorvy hauer an insurance policy.

I'm also glad that he got a security system.

- Why, what happened? - Uh, well, apparently,

he's got a very valuable violin at home.

- He... did he tell you that? - No, no, no.

I was... I stopped by the office a couple days ago.

A fax came in, it was marked "urgent." I left you a note about all this.

Anyway, there was an appraisal of this violin.

You remember, when we were out there

and frank mentioned something about sending photos to somebody?

So I... geez, I must've called...

I don't know, it must have been about a half dozen

of these nursing homes in rhinelander before I could track him down.

And, you know, his sister...

His sister passed, which is... Oh, my god, rest her soul.

But this... this news certainly seemed to cheer gorvy up a bit.

Look, I did all the paperwork. It's all taken care of.

The violin is now insured for its full value.

- Uh... so you turned that in? - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, I know that you're gunning for Aruba.

So I figured, every commission, you know?

I'm... I'm pickin’ gorvy up tomorrow at the bus station.

He's comin’ back home. I can't wait to get a look at that violin.

I'll get him. I wanna congratulate him.

- Really? You sure? - Yeah, I got it.

- What time's he get in? Good. - He gets in around three.

God, can you imagine? Lookin' in your attic and findin' a violin

worth a million dollars?

- A million dollars? What do you mean? - A million point two-five.

That's what the appraisal put the market value at.

Hey, uh... it's me again.

Please call me, ok? This is urgent.

I need that vi...

I need the... Thing I gave you back again.

Please.

- Mickey... - I know, my fucking alarm clock I overslept.

- I was expecting a call, did...? - Mickey...

Is this it? What?

What happened? You told me it was worth $30,000.

Yeah, well, it's a good thing you asked for a second opinion.

I sent the photos I took to a colleague in London.

He's a leading authority on stainer. He's cited extensively

throughout that book that I lent you.

Your violin dates back to the early 1600s. It's...

It's an original. It's not a copy.

Do you have any idea what this means?

You should've called me immediately.

Of course. I tried. No one answered, so I sent you a fax.

Think I like driving all the way out here?

This is enormous.

I mean, virtually every stainer in the world is accounted for.

Do you have any idea how the owner got a hold of it?

He doesn't like to talk about it, that's why he put me in charge.

It doesn't matter. My collector's in Europe. He'll be back in a couple of weeks

and he is prepared to pay you the full appraisal.

It's not for sale. The owner changed his mind.

I gave you a security deposit in good faith.

- Karla, can I get a check? - We have a deal. You agreed.

Karlal

what's he gonna do with it?

- What's gonna happen? - I don't really know.

- Well, I can talk to him. - Thank you.

I'll explain. You tell him to talk to me and I'll explain.

- I can't, unfortunately. - Why?

- He's out of town. - Oh, yeah? When's he back?

- Listen... I really... - If you think you're gonna sell this

thing on your own, you are sadly mistaken.

It's a cloistered world.

- I'd like my book back. - Here.

Let me walk you out. Come on, come on.

Mickey. Mickey, guess what? I have a famous violin.

I stopped by the bus station to pick you up, but I missed ya.

Oh, yeah, yeah. It was early. Bob came and picked me up.

- Oh. Did Bob see the violin? - Well, he saw it,

- but I didn't let him touch it. - Ok, that's very smart.

- You shouldn't let anybody touch it. - Yeah.

I wouldn't even let anybody see the thing

- because you can't trust people, gorvy. - No, no.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Nobody can be trusted. Understand?

Look what Bob gave me, a book about my violin and the man who made it.

It's from Vienna, a long, long time ago, in Austria.

I want so much to go there, now that I have seen this book.

You know...

When my sister died, there was nothing in the papers.

There was two numbers, birth and death.

Now, when I die, they will say something about me.

They'll say I have a famous violin.

- That you kept to yourself. - Yeah.

And you didn't show it to anybody.

- No, I show it to nobody. - And put it away.

Bob is coming to celebrate. What time is it?

- It's... - Wait, where's my clock? It was right here.

Uh, you probably gave it away with all that other stuff to somebody.

Yeah, I don't remember anything anymore.

Anyway, he's coming. We're going to celebrate. He's bringing some...

Ok, listen, gorvy, it's very important that you not...

He's bringing some wine that I never heard of before.

Don't show that thing to anybody, ok?

- Do you understand me? - Yeah.

- Ok. - Ok.

You just gotta be very careful. I'm trying to protect you.

Ok.

You need to stop spending time with gorvy hauer.

We're salesmen. I visi i we're not professional visitors

sorry. You're right, you're right.

I just... I saw an opportunity that might benefit him and us, you know?

I mean, why let that violin just sit in his house?

Why not let other people enjoy it, like maybe a soloist or a museum?

I mean... and, look, the good... thank you.

The good news is that gorvy is actually willing to pay the additional fee

- for the travel rider. - You've talked to him about this?

About, uh... loaning out that...

- About the violin? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I joined the kiwanis, like we talked about.

I meet a guy who's a member of the local philharmonic.

Now, I'm sure that he knows a bunch of other musicians

who all have valuable instruments that we could insure.

- It could be a whole new market. - No. No, no, no.

Bob, I can't... no. I...

I have to let you go.

You, uh... that's it.

That's what I brought you here for. I...

One of my top sales guys, he wants your territory and...

1 don't know what to tell him. I mean, he's... he wants it.

You're firing me? I...

I left another job to... To come work with you.

- Yeah. - I mean, I thought I was

actually doing a pretty good job, too.

Yeah, I know. It's the damndest thing. I mean, it's...

I don't know. I don't know what to do, he's been with me a long time.

That's pretty unexpected. I...

I don't know what I'm gonna tell my wife.

Well, look, I'll be happy to write you a recommendation. Ok?

I'm sure Phil Peters would be happy to have you back on board.

- Thanks, Mickey. Thank you. - Yeah.

I'd like to stay in touch. And I'd like to hear about gorvy and his violin.

I actually sent someone out today to see if they could loan it out.

Gorvy?

- I thought you were my friend. - What's wrong? What's the matter?

I am your friend.

A man came to look at the violin.

He says it's not old, it's not from Austria.

It's from China, from some factory.

He could tell by looking inside the holes.

- Oh. - I paid good money for insurance policy.

Now Bob tells me I have to pay even more.

Bob's gone. I let him go.

Ok? And you're gonna get a full refund on your premium.

We were gonna go to Europe, me and petey.

We were gonna show this to famous people, let them play it.

Now we can't go anywhere.

Well, you can still play it for petey.

Right? I mean, he loves that thing. Pete.

Petey, Pete. Hey.

- Get over... - He carried it around like a stick,

now he won't even look at it.

- Petey, come, come. - Come on.

Wait...

Oh... no, no.

There's no teeth marks in this.

No teeth marks. Petey has big teeth. He would leave teeth marks in this.

And there's none.

I don't think this is my violin.

He... he's gotta go outside.

Someone took my violin while I was gone.

They took my clock, too.

Gorvy, you're... You're watching too much TV.

I'm going outside to wait for the police.

- The police, what? - Yeah, they're on the way.

My dog is gone! He's loose!

- Afternoon, sir. - Hi.

Listen, I just got a call on the radio

that you had some kind of theft out here.

Uh, excuse me, is this, uh... Is this the violin he called us about?

Uh... what did... what did he say?

According to Mr. hauer, this one...

This one is not his.

Apparently, the one he owns is, uh, quote unquote, "famous."

Well, I don't know anything about that. He's pretty old.

Well, I don't either, but... I have to take this back to the station with me.

So, uh... did you or did he see any signs of forced entry?

- No. - Or was there anything else missing?

- No, he's... - Anything else out of place?

- No? - He's... he's...

Doesn't even lock the doors here.

Well, I see he got a security system, though.

Yeah, he never sets it. He's a pretty congenial guy.

- People come and go here. - Ok.

He's... a nice, old fella.

- And you are? - Mickey prohaska.

I'm a friend of the family, actually.

He... give you my card. He'd probably wanna run this thing through me.

- He's pretty senile. - Prohaska... insurance?

Sorry to bother you with this.

- Yes. Yes. - Yeah?

And you're family? You're related?

Yes. I'm, uh... not blood family,

- but, you know, like family. - Ok.

Doggy, come home, doggy!

- Gorvy? - Come home, doggy.

My doggy's gone. Now I lost everything.

When is the police gonna get here?

- They left. - Call 'em back!

- They need to help me find petey. - No, they can't help you.

- Why not? - I'll help you.

It's going to be 20 below tonight.

Too cold for petey.

You never liked him, did you?

You should've been more careful!

Pull over here. They know me here.

Frank gets gasoline here sometimes. I will give them a picture of petey.

Well...

You know, frank didn't stop here to get gasoline for his trip,

so I'm a little bit worried now.

I better call him up.

He's probably just refueling on the road.

Got stuck in the weather.

He's not picking up so I'm a little bit more worried now.

Ok, let's stay focused on finding your dog. Let's find petey.

Where did he say he was going?

- Just look for the dog. - I don't remember anything anymore.

Sometimes he makes deliveries for an auctioneer,

the man that he was gonna show pictures of my things for.

And now he won't see the violin! Ah!

Well, maybe it's not a coincidence.

You know, maybe frank took your violin.

- Maybe he stole it. - No.

- Yeah. - He wouldn't do such a thing.

- Yeah. - He's my friend.

He may have. He may have taken it and he may never come back with it for all you know.

Ever.

Ah, scheiss.

I don't feel so good now.

I want to go home.

Maybe my doggy came back.

The cops aren't gonna be as invested in finding this thief as our company is.

This trucker's probably our best lead.

Well, it makes a lot of sense. I mean, this frank guy was way too interested

in everything out at this farmer's house.

And how much it was worth and he had the keys.

We had a tough time gettin’ a hold of the owner, even by phone. It's busy.

They finally got through and got a recorded statement from him.

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah, it really didn't add a lot.

- I think the guy is really sick. - Sign this.

Sounded really coarse on the phone.

Guess he'd been out all night looking for his dog.

- Thanks. - What about the appraiser in Chicago?

- Did you talk to him? - Yeah. That guy wouldn't shut up.

Kept me on the phone for 45 minutes.

Kept talking about how hard it was gonna be to unload the violin.

Especially once it's listed on the missing registry.

I'm not going in there. You're gonna make me confess something I didn't do!

Listen, I know what's going on.

You feel responsible ‘cause it was your sale.

- It's in our hands now. - Ok.

Denny Larson from special investigations is on it. He is a cracker-Jack.

- Good. You'll keep me posted? - Yeah, absolutely.

Get in the fucking car!

Get in the fucking car!

- I said no cops, didn't I? - I had to.

They found out about the violin.

I know they found out about the violin, ‘cause I got a message from the old man

who wants a refund on his security system, because he said it didn't go off

when he was robbed.

Didn't you tell me that no one would fucking notice the violin was gone?

He got suspicious when he couldn't find his clock.

- It was my mom's birthday. - Ok.

Do you understand that?

You're not tryin' to pin this on me, are you?

Hey! You're not tryin’ to pin this on me, are you?

- No, no. They think it's frank Richie. - Who?

That's the man you killed.

That's the guy.

That's why I went in to talk to ‘em. I had to!

- I was tryin’ to convince them! - Wait. Wait.

- What are you doin'? - Wait.

- Are you fucking kidding me? - What?

You said no one would be looking for the guy!

Nobody would give a shit about him!

That's what we had going for us! Now everybody's gonna be looking for him!

What is wrong with you?

You told me nobody would give a shit about him!

God! And nobody would care about the fuckin' violin, either.

Right now, everybody's looking for the violin.

- Why is everybody looking for the violin? - I don't know.

You're not lyin' to me about how much it's worth, are you? Huh?

Look at me, look at me. Is it $100,000?

- How much is this fucking thing worth?! - A million.

- What did you say? - A million.

That's a million dollar violin?

Holy shit.

I couldn't even get 500 bucks for it.

Um... who... who were you plannin’ on sellin’ it to?

I'm done with this. Ok? I don't know! I don't know anything about violins!

I was gonna have a dealer in Chicago sell it, but...

What are you doin'?

- Goin' to Chicago to see this dealer. - No, no, no. He's by appointment only.

- I'm not even sure if he's there. - I want to sell this fucking thing tonight!

No! He's not gonna help us. It's stolen!

I don't even know who he was gonna sell it to.

Oh, yeah? Well, you got a 90 minute ride to figure it out.

I still got that picture, jerk. You would never make it in jail.

- Which one, down here? - Here.

Look, he's not there.

I don't give a fuck. We're goin' inside, my friend.

Get back. Back, back, back, back, back, back.

Chill out.

See? There we go. After you, asshole.

Now look, you go find the fuckin’ number or I will sit in the corner

and I will wait here all night long.

And when he comes back in, then I will get the number out of him.

He was... he was on the... He was on the phone...

Work it out. Find it.

Talkin' to a guy. A guy who owns stolen violins.

He stuck the number in a book.

This is pretty neat, though, huh? Look at that.

There's some shit in here.

That's it, stoller. That's it.

Get the hell outta here. You can call him tomorrow. Here's the number.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Me call? I'm not your fuckin' secretary.

You're gonna make the phone call. I'm not havin’ it traced to my phone.

And guess what? When you set this thing up, you're gonna be the one

makin' the handoff. Because thanks to you, it's not just a hot violin,

you went and attached it fo a fucking dead guy!

Mr. stoller, please.

I see. Do you have any estimation as to when he'll be back in the states?

Yeah. No, no message. Thank you.

- Hey, Glen. What's goin' on? - Mickey.

Frank Richie's dead.

They find... they found him... They found him?

Yeah. In a cemetery.

We ran the social security number he gave on the lease application.

Turns out it belongs to a guy who died 12 years ago.

Yeah. Looks like our suspect is... well, he's been using somebody else's name.

Are you kidding me? There you go.

- Can you believe it? - That's it, right?

What more proof do you need than that?

I mean, obviously. Why else would the guy be using somebody else's name?

You know? Must be some sort of professional drifter or something.

I don't know how professional he is. Glen said he stuck a photocopied label

on the inside of a cheap violin and rubbed it with shoe Polish.

Yeah, the expert in Chicago confirmed it wasn't the one he'd had appraised.

And Denny Larsen, our guy, was able to follow up where the phony was purchased.

It was a music store right here in kenosha.

There was a store label on the inside underneath what is called the, uh...

..F hole.

Mm-hm. They get a description of the guy?

Yeah. I wish.

No, you may be the only chance we have of getting a description of this frank Richie.

We interviewed his landlady.

She never even met him.

Rented the place to him over the phone.

Oh, and gorvy hauer's not gonna be much help, either.

You know, he just refuses to believe that his so-called friend could be involved.

And when I pressed him for a description, he just hung up on me.

Truthfully, Glen, I'm not sure I can be much help, either.

I never really got a good look. He had a hat and a scarf...

It's ok, Mickey. Somebody is gonna know this guy.

I mean, his name may not be frank Richie,

- but he's out there somewhere. - Prohaska agency.

And we are gonna do our best to find him.

Hopefully, he'll lead us right to that violin.

There's a call for you on line one, he says it's urgent.

- I was just... - Told him you were in a meeting, but...

- Hey, go ahead. You can take it. - You can take it here.

Go ahead.

- Hello? - Yeah, fucking hello!

- We got a problem over here... - Yeah.

No, I'm here with some people right now.

I don't... Get your ass over here!

- Just... maybe I can call you back. - No!

- All right, I'll see you there. - I am losing my fucking shit over here!

- Mm-hm. - I'm about to freak the fuck out!

What happened?

Huh? Why couldn't you make the deal?

He's on a ship somewhere.

His secretary said to call back in a few weeks.

Oh, my god. You are just... exhausting.

A few weeks.

Can I show you something? Do you see that ice out there?

It's not pancake ice anymore, it's honeycombed. It's melting too fast.

Do you understand that? Pretty soon our suspect, or what's left of him,

is gonna come floating to the top, and when that happens

somebody is gonna put two and two together.

We have gotta sell that violin before that happens.

I need that fucking money, I have got to get out of town!

I am not going back to jail.

And until that happens I'm not leaving town, you understand?

I'll be watching your every move.

Make it happen.

- What are you doing? - I'm looking for clues.

What else I got to do now my doggy's gone?

Maybe I can find who took my violin.

I tell you something. Frank did not take my violin. He's too big.

He wouldn't fit inside this hole. Someone else must've been up here.

Time is a liar's worst enemy.

Sooner or later, the real story will bubble up to the surface.

I talked to someone at the hotel you stayed in at the convention,

they said your credit cards were used to buy a bunch of traveler's checks there.

By the way, you need to recycle, too.

Ah! I found a footprint. And it wasn't frank's, it was fancy.

Frank wears boots. I have to go now and tell the police what I discovered.

You take whatever steps you have to to stay ahead.

- Hey, Mickey. - Bad time?

No, no, come on in.

- I'll give you a call in a little bit. - Ok.

- Hey. Hey, coffee? - No, no, no, I...

So what brings you to Milwaukee?

- Sales call. - Ah!

Yeah, I was just wondering if you had any new leads on that violin investigation.

I hate to say this, Mickey, but we pretty much hit a dead end on that.

You know, I'd have thought that the violin business

was just a bunch of, you know, artsy-fartsy types.

But some of these guys... Pretty damn shady.

You know, they'll do just about anything to get their hands on a rare instrument.

And once that's out on the black market, well, forget it, it's gone.

Yeah, so it's pretty much a lost cause, huh?

- Yeah. - Well, I'd appreciate you, uh...

You know, wrap this thing up whenever you can.

- I want to put it behind me, obviously. - Yeah, I hear you. I'll do what I can.

The problem is, the truth is always on your ass,

trying to chase you down, one step behind.

Mickey? I have some forms for you to sign.

Glen just faxed them over for the violin payout.

All you can do is wait.

If you're lucky, you might buy yourself a little time.

My company's gonna honor your claim.

They found my violin?

No. But they're gonna compensate you for it.

I'm having all the money wired into your account.

I don't want money. I want my violin.

But you want to go to Europe.

And you can't do that with a violin, gorvy.

But you can do that with money, and now you have it. And I...

Look at this, I have a ticket for you.

- Where am I going? - To Austria.

- What? - Remember? You wanted to go there,

and they have these packages, gorvy, wonderful, wonderful packages.

You might go for a while and have fun.

Maybe you'll stay forever.

No, no, I need to wait for frank.

Frank is gone. He's not coming back.

You need fo let it go!

You gotta move on.

Mr. stoller, please.

This is frank Richie. I think I have something you may want.

Yes. Ok.

Of course. But it will have to be cash.

I talked to stoller, ok? It's on. His train gets in at 2:55.

But this is it, you understand me? After this, I'm done.

The 2:55 to St. Louis with stops in champaign-urbana,

now boarding platform 15. All aboard.

Excuse me, do you have the time?

2:50.

The 3:15 to O'Hare now boarding platform 18.

All aboard.

Was that him? Huh? What were you talkin' about? Why did he leave?

Huh?

The 3:45 with express service fo cedar rapids...

Oh, no, no, no, no.

All right, it's over. It's over.

Just leave the bag. Get up. Get up and go, go. Stay calm, though.

Hello, excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me, sir!

Sorry. You forgot your bag.

You're welcome.

- Cannot handle this. - Wait!

- Take it. Take it! - I don't want it!

You understand? I don't want it! It's tied to a fucking murder!

Do you understand that? It's a hot potato!

- Are you an idiot? Get away from me! - I want that photograph. Hey!

Please.

All right. Here you go, look.

Ok? Got it? And we never met, none of this ever happened.

You do not even know my fucking name, you got it?

What starts out lookin’ like an easy score

can turn out to be anything but simple.

Sure, you might get lucky. You could end up striking gold.

Just not in the way you bargained for.

One thing folks in the insurance business know,

you can't put a price tag on peace of mind.

So this friend of yours was able to walk away from a murder as simple as that?

You haven't heard the end of my story.

- Can I help you with somethin'? - I was just here to see gorvy hauer.

- He must still be outta town. - Well, I'm gorvy hauer.

What can I do for ya?

- No. We never rent the place out. - No.

Say, I've got a little Danish if you'd like some.

- Cup of coffee? - No.

- Sure? - We've lived in this house 28 years.

- Twenty-nine. - Twenty-nine.

We never had any problems. Well...

Except that time when we came back from Florida and the pipes were frozen.

Yeah. We forgot to leave a little heat on.

- Have to leave a little heat on. - But we're gone all winter.

We're snow birds.

You know the insurance company never gave... we had to wait six months

- before we got any money from them. - That's right.

Would you be able to check on a policy? Maybe we could switch over. Um...

Save us some money, maybe, on, uh... Something like that?

- Yeah. I'll get back to you. - Ok, great.

You know the expression, "being played like a fiddle?"

Hey. I'm looking for a guy that's been in here before.

About this tall, dark hair.

A little wiry. He was sittin’ right over here with me the day of the blizzard.

He got a name?

- I'm not really sure. - You got anything to eat here?

We just have fries, onion rings and cheese curds.

You don't serve burgers here? Steaks? Brats?

Why would you get a meat delivery?

We wouldn't. We just got a fryer back here.

In the time it took to knock back a drink,

a dead man came back to life.

Remember, I said to believe only half of what you see?

Here.

- Drink up, buddy. - Well, they had to make sure

the other half wouldn't be seen at all.

But let me back up.

- First, they had to hook the guy. - Oh, look. I do have a violin.

And then there was the blackmail they developed

just to make sure their lead would be followed.

And they timed it out perfectly.

Mickey, I have forms for you to sign.

Once they got what they wanted, the next step was the blow-off.

Excuse me, do you have the time?

Oldest opening line in the book.

Remember? Never fails fo get someone's attention.

When a guy is spooked that bad, he feels lucky just to walk away.

That's the way it would have gone down,

were it not for a certain secretary that had recently been promoted.

Oh, you ok, Mickey? Guess what?

I got a call about the traveler's checks that were bought with your credit cards.

They were able to trace the serial numbers.

And they were deposited in a bank in burlington.

Some kind of farming business. Golden harvest.

I need to find out about an account that was opened up here.

- Hi. I'll take this one, Anna. - Hi.

We're still finding pennies in the strangest places.

But don't worry, we're adding them to your account, Mr. hauer.

Thank you.

I was wondering if I could get an update on my last statement.

My mail's been screwed up.

Well, I wish we could say you made a little interest on that big deposit, but...

We wired it out almost immediately after we got your faxes, Mr. hauer.

The old man's sack of change was nothing

compared to what he and his cohorts moved through that bank.

He made sure to stay on the sidelines and let someone else

get stuck holding the bag, literally.

They needed an agent fo push the claim through

and take the fall if their scam was discovered.

You could say he was their insurance policy.

You should never put me on trash duty.

I've been recycling. Look what almost got thrown out.

A violin label.

I thought that golden harvest sounded familiar.

It was who the big payout went to for the violin, wasn't it?

I know what you're thinking, Karla, and it's not what it looks like.

And the traveler's checks that were bought with your credit cards?

They opened the account that paid the premium on this policy, right?

I was duped by this...

This gorvy hauer son of a bitch!

If that's even his hame!

- No, his name is Mickey prohaska. - No.

You took out insurance in someone else's name

on a violin that... Hmm, conveniently went missing.

Karla, you gotta believe me here.

Why? You lie all the time.

The police went to his house, ok? There's a copy of the report in his file.

Yeah, so did the cop meet this gorvy hauer character?

No, he was out looking for his dog, but one of our investigators talked to him.

They recorded the conversation. They got a statement.

I've heard you change your voice on the phone.

God damn it, he was... He was sick.

You're good, Mickey.

Winning little awards.

Building your reputation at the company so your word there would be credible.

All to make this one big payout seem legit.

Where are you hiding the money, Mickey?

You can't just make $1,000,000 disappear.

But they did. They bought something that couldn't be traced.

Something without serial numbers.

And then they sold it, for cash.

There's a lot of money in corn, Mickey. It's worth its weight in gold.

Feed corn.

Once the insurance settlement hit the bank,

it was wired out fo a dozen grain elevators,

and then it was broken down into truckloads,

and sold to farmers in amounts under $10,000.

Money laundering. Midwestern style.

The entire operation was financed with some credit cards

that were temporarily borrowed by one of their bit players.

She was thoughtful enough to send a souvenir.

A final blow to a stormy marriage.

Who knows? Maybe a little sunshine could've saved it.

If only there'd been a chance fo escape life's problems for a while.

Go somewhere warm.

Everyone deserves a nice little getaway, don't they?

Especially after a job well done.

Even the goddamn dog.

How do you like that?

A dog that was never lost sought by a man who didn't exist.

My man, let me have five bucks’ worth of tickets for tonight's lottery

and a pack of Winston's, please.

At least not in the form of an absent-minded farmer.

Odds are he was the brains behind it all.

This guy's on a serious losing streak.

If you expect me fo keep quiet, Mickey,

you're gonna have to give me your car.

Or I'm gonna call Glen.

I'm about to take my state licensing exam.

I can't make sales calls in this piece of shit.

I should have let you quit when I had the chance.

- None of this was my fault, Karla. - It was probably your friend, right?

It's always a friend. It's never you.

I was just trying to help Bob make a goddamn sale.

How convenient that I never got to meet the guy!

There is no fucking "Bob!"

But there was a Bob. And he could've confirmed everything.

If only he hadn't been let go.

Poor guy was out there somewhere, trying to make a fresh start.

- So you did ft. - Yeah.

Didn't put up much of a fight when I handed in my resignation.

- Well... - It's fine.

I'm sick of dealing with worst case scenarios.

I'm done with the insurance business, Glen.

What are you gonna do?

Head south.

I've had it with these goddamn winters.

Hey, Phil.

Hey. Never got a chance to congratulate you on that sales award.

- Oh, thanks. Thanks a lot. - I'm sure you'll take top prize again

in Aruba, even without Bob egan.

Who?

Bob. The guy from the convention. You were gonna hire him.

I wasn't gonna hire anybody there. I got six guys working for me already.

Turns out there was a top salesman even better than Phil Peters.

Hey, just wanted to say, love the suit.

- Oh, thanks. Thanks. - All right, take care.

And after a brief period of unemployment,

I'm sure he went right back to work.

Bob was somewhere out there, all right.

Only his name wasn't Bob.

Nice to meet you.

He was the roper.

Hey, that's a nice car. It's easy to spot.

He was also the tail.

He knew when the office would be empty and he had full access

to all the amenities inside.

The entire time he slipped by unnoticed,

pretending to be someone he wasn't.

And all of it with that someone's own permission.

Just go ahead and fake my signature.

He was the ultimate con man.

A real pro.

He was so good at his job he even managed fo get himself fired.

One and a quarter million dollars. Not a bad severance package.

Even if it was split five ways. That's right.

Remember the good faith deposit?

It's what's known in a scam as the convincer.

A little taste of bigger riches to come.

For a desperate sucker, it's the ultimate form of persuasion.

Your check bounced, you know. I was never compensated for my appraisal.

Yeah, you were, just not by me.

How much did they pay you?

I have no idea what you're talking about.

- This is private property and I'm... - How much did they pay you?

You think I'm not gonna fuckin' turn you in for tryin' to pass off a fake violin

- to an insurance company? - 'Cause I don't think

you'd get anywhere with that. I gave you an appraisal, not a contract.

An appraisal’s considered an opinion. I gave you my opinion.

Now it's gone and nobody knows where it is.

And there's a lot of corruption out there.

So the violin was worthless from the beginning?

Beware of anything with strings attached.

- Yeah, my friend got duped. - Eh, poor bastard, huh?

- Whatever happened to him? - Luckily, he made a clean start.

- Got away to someplace warm. - Yeah, well, don't tell me about weather.

- I'm from Chicago. - Oh!

We got nine months of winter and then three months of hell.

Too bad they stuck you at this place. Nickel and dime you to death.

Yeah, tell me about it. Six bucks for a beer.

Wait till you see the bill. They tack on a resort fee.

All for a tiny room, paper-thin walls and a rock-hard mattress.

Might as well be sleepin’ in a cardboard box.

Right.

You know, I know a place just a couple miles down the road.

Take a look at that.

- What is this, a time share? - It's an opportunity.

Own a little piece of the sunshine state.

I can probably get you into an all-you-can-eat buffet for free

- just by comin’ by. - I'm flyin' back home tomorrow.

- What time's your flight? - 4:30.

Oh, terrific! They're gonna make you check out of the room at noon.

I'll pick you up, take you over there myself.

- I don't know. - You gotta eat.

I mean, this restaurant will charge you an arm and a leg.

Sure.

- What the hell, huh? - Ok.

All right, I'll pick you up in the lobby at 11:00...

- Jerry. - Jerry.

- I'm gonna take this. - Yeah.

Excuse me, do you happen to have the time?

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