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- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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Morning. I'm so happy
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you agreed to stay here
while my parents are gone.
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00:00:27,386 --> 00:00:28,946
I really believe if Harry Drake's goons
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can't find you, they may
just forget about you.
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Anyhow, some rules you need to follow.
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Rule number one: no
eating in the living room.
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Rule number two: touch nothing pink.
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Rule number three...
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Rule number 38: do
not touch Papa's robe.
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In the third place, ain't nobody can eat
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that much ice cream.
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Shit.
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Eighteen and a half.
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Such a tiny fucking thigh.
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B. Altman. Where may I direct your call?
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- I will connect you.
- Hey.
18
00:02:06,861 --> 00:02:09,238
- Oh, do you read?
- Occasionally.
19
00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:10,906
B. Altman. Where may I direct your call?
20
00:02:10,948 --> 00:02:12,718
- I will connect you.
- So, I'm looking through
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00:02:12,742 --> 00:02:14,618
the Village Voice, just
perusing the headlines,
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and look what I see.
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Well, you need to turn it toward me
24
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- so I can...
- "Susie Myerson, the manager
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"of the underground phenom
comedienne Mrs. Maisel,
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says she's gonna be
bigger than Totie Fields."
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Wait, what are you read... Ah, shoot.
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B. Altman. Where may I direct your call?
29
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Isn't that crazy? Mrs. Maisel?
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- I mean, you're Mrs. Maisel.
- Hold, please.
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- Can I... ?
- This comedian has the same name as you.
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B. Altman. Where... Oh,
sorry. I thought I did.
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- I will connect you.
- The world is so small.
34
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I feel like I should be
able to subway to China.
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- Do you know her?
- I don't think so.
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- Is there a picture?
- No picture.
37
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You could be related.
She could be your cousin.
38
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Or your mother. Is your
mother a comedienne?
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- Wouldn't that be a scandal?
- Hmm.
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Oops. I guess all those
flashing lights are for me.
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B. Altman. Where may I direct your call?
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- Ginger!
- Here.
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I will connect you.
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B. Altman. Where may I direct your call?
45
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I will connect you.
46
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Zelda?
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I ate the strudel, and it was awesome.
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Who are you?
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00:03:10,549 --> 00:03:11,884
- I...
- What are you doing here?
50
00:03:11,926 --> 00:03:13,344
- I...
- Why are you in the bathtub?
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00:03:13,385 --> 00:03:14,720
Wait, I know this one.
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I don't know you. You don't live here.
53
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- Are you a burglar?
- Uh...
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Did you break in here to steal jewelry
55
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and then decide it would
be funny to take a bath?
56
00:03:20,476 --> 00:03:22,937
You look like Zelda but younger.
Are you Zelda but younger?
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No, I'm not. I'm an actual friend
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of the people who live here,
and I am going to call the cops
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if you don't tell me who you
are and what you are doing
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- in this apartment.
- I know...
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the short... brunette...
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Midge? You're a friend of Midge?
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I know all her friends, and I
have never seen you before ever.
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00:03:38,828 --> 00:03:40,138
Where do you know Midge from? Where?
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- The club.
- What club?
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- The...
- Do not mumble.
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The Gaslight.
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The downtown dumpy, sticky place?
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That still does not explain why
you are here in that bathtub,
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which is way too full
of bubbles, by the way.
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You don't need to use the entire bottle.
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That's just overkill!
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I'm sorry. I'm having a little trouble
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focusing here right now.
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I'm very high,
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and there's just a lot of words
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coming from a little,
yellow light source,
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and it's freaking me out.
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It feels like a flower's yelling at me.
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Midge.
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- Thank God.
- Imogene, what are you doing here?
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Who is this thing in your bathtub?
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Oh, th... that's, uh...
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Why don't we go in the kitchen?
I'll explain everything.
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You stay there.
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Where the fuck am I gonna go?
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- What are you doing here?
- What am I doing here?
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- What am I doing here?
- I just mean...
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I came to talk to you, and I found that
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sitting in the tub like a
big potato in a soup pot.
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Her name is Susie,
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and her apartment is getting fumigated.
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She says she knows you from the club.
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Yes. When Joel would play there.
95
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Uh, maybe we could
talk about this later.
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00:04:36,218 --> 00:04:38,053
I haven't heard word
one from you in weeks,
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00:04:38,095 --> 00:04:39,489
and now you're trying
to get me to leave?
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00:04:39,513 --> 00:04:41,640
You were in Iowa for the holidays.
99
00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:43,684
Joel quit his job. Did you know that?
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00:04:43,726 --> 00:04:45,787
- What?
- Right in the middle of their big presentation.
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He just walked in with all
the top brass sitting there
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and the fancy chart that I
helped Archie make, and he quit.
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00:04:50,274 --> 00:04:51,942
- Oh.
- Why didn't you call to warn me?
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00:04:51,984 --> 00:04:53,611
Well, you were in Iowa.
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Stop using Iowa as an
excuse for everything.
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00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:57,823
My family may be dairy
farmers, but they have a phone.
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I didn't know that he was going to quit.
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How could you not know? I thought
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you were getting back together.
110
00:05:01,952 --> 00:05:03,346
Who told you we were
getting back together?
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00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:04,705
- Archie.
- Who told Archie?
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- Joel.
- Oh.
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Well, I... I've been in
Paris, so I'm a little behind.
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- Paris? You were in Paris?
- Yes.
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Why didn't you tell me
you were going to Paris?
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00:05:14,298 --> 00:05:16,717
- When did we stop being friends?
- We're friends, Imogene.
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If we were friends, I would be the one
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- taking a bath in your tub.
- You have a tub.
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The point is I don't
know anything anymore.
120
00:05:21,972 --> 00:05:23,515
- I don't know you anymore.
- You do.
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00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:25,225
You were in Paris. That's in France.
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You didn't tell me you were
getting back together with Joel.
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- Archie did.
- I didn't get back together with...
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It doesn't matter if it's
true. You should've told me.
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Just like you should've told
me that Joel was going to quit.
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00:05:32,816 --> 00:05:34,252
- I didn't...
- What am I supposed to do now?
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00:05:34,276 --> 00:05:36,195
With Joel gone, Archie's a sitting duck.
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00:05:36,236 --> 00:05:37,696
He was Joel's right-hand man.
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What if they retaliate
for what Joel did?
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00:05:39,448 --> 00:05:40,824
They're not the mob, Imogene.
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00:05:40,866 --> 00:05:42,034
I'm sorry I've been distant.
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00:05:42,076 --> 00:05:43,494
And I am sorry about Joel.
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00:05:43,535 --> 00:05:46,163
And believe me, Archie
is going to be okay.
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00:05:46,205 --> 00:05:48,499
- How do you know?
- I'm brilliant.
135
00:05:48,540 --> 00:05:50,042
Look, I should get back to Susie,
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00:05:50,084 --> 00:05:51,961
but I will see you
tomorrow in exercise class?
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00:05:52,002 --> 00:05:53,587
- You're coming?
- I'm coming.
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00:05:53,629 --> 00:05:55,357
- You haven't been in weeks.
- I'll be there tomorrow.
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00:05:55,381 --> 00:05:56,632
I was alone in the front.
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I had no one to feel superior with.
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- Alone I just felt like a snob.
- Tomorrow.
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00:05:59,969 --> 00:06:02,554
- I promise.
- Okay.
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00:06:04,556 --> 00:06:06,725
And by the way, it looks
like your new friend
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used Rose's pink soap.
145
00:06:08,227 --> 00:06:10,646
No one uses Rose's pink soap.
146
00:06:17,486 --> 00:06:19,822
Enjoying your bath?
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Immensely.
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00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:23,158
Just laying here, soaking.
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My brain's gone bye-bye.
Everything was perfect
150
00:06:25,869 --> 00:06:28,038
until the vanilla muffin waltzed in here
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00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:29,957
- and killed my buzz.
- What did you tell her?
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00:06:29,999 --> 00:06:31,709
- Who?
- The muffin.
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00:06:31,750 --> 00:06:33,043
Oh. I don't know.
154
00:06:33,085 --> 00:06:34,795
- You mentioned the Gaslight.
- No.
155
00:06:34,837 --> 00:06:36,481
I'm pretty sure I didn't
mention the Gaslight.
156
00:06:36,505 --> 00:06:37,607
You definitely mentioned the Gaslight
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00:06:37,631 --> 00:06:39,025
because she mentioned the Gaslight.
158
00:06:39,049 --> 00:06:40,968
- She did?
- I have to know what you're saying.
159
00:06:41,010 --> 00:06:42,594
To my friends. To the press.
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00:06:42,636 --> 00:06:44,364
I know about that interview
you gave to the Village Voice.
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00:06:44,388 --> 00:06:46,432
You didn't even ask me
about it before you did it.
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00:06:46,473 --> 00:06:48,493
You just went ahead and...
Do not add more hot water.
163
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- So bossy.
- Get out of the tub.
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00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:51,478
What? Why?
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00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:53,480
Because I need to talk to you.
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00:06:53,522 --> 00:06:55,274
Fine.
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00:06:55,315 --> 00:06:57,943
- Well, go wait in the hall.
- Why?
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00:06:57,985 --> 00:06:59,820
What do you mean, why?
I've measured myself.
169
00:06:59,862 --> 00:07:02,143
There's no way I'm gonna be
fucking naked in front of you.
170
00:07:06,952 --> 00:07:09,389
You can't just go around talking
to the press without telling me.
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00:07:09,413 --> 00:07:12,166
Susie, that paper was just
sitting there. At my work.
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00:07:12,207 --> 00:07:15,294
If Ginger wasn't so Ginger,
she would've figured it out.
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00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:17,379
- What?
- You have to tell me
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00:07:17,421 --> 00:07:20,174
- what you're saying about me before you say it.
- Why?
175
00:07:20,215 --> 00:07:22,301
- What do you mean, why?
- I am your manager.
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00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:24,386
It is literally my
job to talk about you.
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00:07:24,428 --> 00:07:27,723
Yes. To club owners, to
bookers at the Stage Deli.
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00:07:27,765 --> 00:07:29,600
But this was in print.
Anyone could read it.
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00:07:29,641 --> 00:07:31,185
Thank God there wasn't a picture.
180
00:07:31,226 --> 00:07:32,829
Ooh, I've been meaning
to talk to you about that.
181
00:07:32,853 --> 00:07:35,022
- We got to take some pictures.
- No.
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00:07:35,064 --> 00:07:36,940
Look, press is part of the game, lady.
183
00:07:36,982 --> 00:07:38,626
You want to know what
that little paragraph
184
00:07:38,650 --> 00:07:40,861
- in the paper got us?
- What?
185
00:07:40,903 --> 00:07:43,155
A gig. A real gig.
186
00:07:43,197 --> 00:07:45,282
A paying gig. No passing the hat.
187
00:07:45,324 --> 00:07:46,992
A club with booze and everything.
188
00:07:47,034 --> 00:07:48,786
Midtown? A midtown gig?
189
00:07:48,827 --> 00:07:51,455
- Almost. 15th Street.
- Wow.
190
00:07:51,497 --> 00:07:53,582
- Midway to midtown.
- That's right.
191
00:07:53,624 --> 00:07:55,334
We are midway to
midtown. Isn't it great?
192
00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:57,586
It is. But, Susie,
promise, just check with me
193
00:07:57,628 --> 00:07:59,272
before you give any
more interviews, please.
194
00:07:59,296 --> 00:08:02,007
- Why?
- Because I haven't told anyone yet.
195
00:08:02,049 --> 00:08:03,884
What do you mean you
haven't told anyone yet?
196
00:08:03,926 --> 00:08:05,570
Your fucking husband
was standing right there.
197
00:08:05,594 --> 00:08:08,180
I know, but I haven't told
my friends or my parents.
198
00:08:08,222 --> 00:08:09,532
How have you not told your parents?
199
00:08:09,556 --> 00:08:10,891
Don't you live with these people?
200
00:08:10,933 --> 00:08:12,327
Where do they think you go every night?
201
00:08:12,351 --> 00:08:13,977
- Out.
- Every night?
202
00:08:14,019 --> 00:08:15,896
- I'm very popular.
- Okay.
203
00:08:15,938 --> 00:08:17,272
I mean this with all due respect.
204
00:08:17,314 --> 00:08:18,500
Your parents are fucking idiots.
205
00:08:18,524 --> 00:08:19,900
- I'm gonna tell them.
- When?
206
00:08:19,942 --> 00:08:22,569
- Soon.
- What are you waiting for?
207
00:08:22,611 --> 00:08:24,211
I thought you made
this decision already.
208
00:08:24,238 --> 00:08:25,924
- I thought you wanted to go for it.
- I do.
209
00:08:25,948 --> 00:08:27,991
This is bullshit.
210
00:08:28,033 --> 00:08:30,327
Aw, Zelda made me a sandwich.
211
00:08:30,369 --> 00:08:31,787
That's sweet.
212
00:08:31,829 --> 00:08:33,122
Do you want to be successful?
213
00:08:33,163 --> 00:08:34,581
Of course I want to be successful.
214
00:08:34,623 --> 00:08:36,476
Being successful means
that people come to see you,
215
00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:38,103
and when people come to
see you, you become...
216
00:08:38,127 --> 00:08:39,562
what they call in the biz... famous.
217
00:08:39,586 --> 00:08:41,588
- Yeah. I know.
- Most people who go on stage
218
00:08:41,630 --> 00:08:43,006
want to be famous 'cause it means
219
00:08:43,048 --> 00:08:44,359
they get to play better theaters.
220
00:08:44,383 --> 00:08:46,385
They get better gigs. They go on TV.
221
00:08:46,426 --> 00:08:48,387
They go to Morocco with Bob and Bing.
222
00:08:48,428 --> 00:08:50,406
And here's the best part:
they give you more money.
223
00:08:50,430 --> 00:08:52,700
Now, that's actually the part
that I find the most appealing.
224
00:08:52,724 --> 00:08:54,184
Money is my main goal.
225
00:08:54,226 --> 00:08:55,978
I don't have any, and I'd like some.
226
00:08:56,019 --> 00:08:58,480
I want to be famous. I want money.
227
00:08:58,522 --> 00:09:00,899
I want to go to Morocco
with Bob and Bing.
228
00:09:00,941 --> 00:09:02,651
And I am gonna tell my parents.
229
00:09:02,693 --> 00:09:04,695
They're just... they're
not here right now,
230
00:09:04,736 --> 00:09:06,738
and it's not news I'd like
to break long-distance.
231
00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:08,198
So when they come home.
232
00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:09,950
When they come home, I come clean.
233
00:09:09,992 --> 00:09:12,244
- And when's that gonna be?
- I don't know.
234
00:09:12,286 --> 00:09:15,789
I swear. I have no idea when
my parents are coming back.
235
00:09:22,838 --> 00:09:24,798
You believe i... in fairy tales.
236
00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:27,217
I do not believe in fairy
tales. I'm a man of science.
237
00:09:27,259 --> 00:09:29,720
The Bible serves its purpose.
238
00:09:29,761 --> 00:09:32,890
It is basically a moral set of rules.
239
00:09:32,931 --> 00:09:34,099
A... a road map.
240
00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:35,475
Men are not able
241
00:09:35,517 --> 00:09:38,520
to determine right or
wrong without a road map.
242
00:09:45,068 --> 00:09:47,654
- Let me guess. Freud?
- Better. The Bible.
243
00:09:47,696 --> 00:09:50,532
- Oh, dear. We'll meet for lunch?
- See you there.
244
00:09:50,574 --> 00:09:51,825
Au revoir, messieurs.
245
00:09:51,867 --> 00:09:53,285
- Au revoir.
- Au revoir.
246
00:09:53,327 --> 00:09:57,080
Abe, your wife is very, very attractive.
247
00:09:57,122 --> 00:09:59,499
- Elle est très belle.
- You lucky man.
248
00:09:59,541 --> 00:10:01,126
The luckiest.
249
00:10:01,168 --> 00:10:02,920
So, where were we?
250
00:10:02,961 --> 00:10:04,755
Oh, yes, Sergei's an idiot.
251
00:11:52,654 --> 00:11:56,158
We spent two hours
debating moral nihilism
252
00:11:56,199 --> 00:11:59,286
versus mereological or
compositional nihilism.
253
00:11:59,328 --> 00:12:01,538
At least, I think that's
what we were debating.
254
00:12:01,580 --> 00:12:03,040
I can't be sure.
255
00:12:03,081 --> 00:12:05,375
Either way, it's nihilism, so who cares?
256
00:12:05,417 --> 00:12:07,586
Anyhow, whatever it was,
257
00:12:07,627 --> 00:12:09,588
it got Sergei all steamed up.
258
00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:11,423
He started arguing with Thierry.
259
00:12:11,465 --> 00:12:13,925
Or Rolf. I don't know. It
was someone to the left of me.
260
00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:16,511
And the next thing I
know, Thierry is crying,
261
00:12:16,553 --> 00:12:18,597
Rolf is singing Brecht, and I'm decrying
262
00:12:18,638 --> 00:12:20,766
America's national cynicism.
263
00:12:20,807 --> 00:12:23,268
And no one would let the
other person pay the bill.
264
00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:26,188
It was just a terrific, terrific day.
265
00:12:26,229 --> 00:12:28,148
- Proost.
- Proost.
266
00:12:28,190 --> 00:12:30,650
Today my class went to the Rodin Museum.
267
00:12:30,692 --> 00:12:32,778
Rodin, aha.
268
00:12:32,819 --> 00:12:34,946
It's in this glorious
building that was his studio
269
00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:37,866
and sort of artists'
flophouse at the same time.
270
00:12:37,908 --> 00:12:39,868
It's a museum now. I tell you, Abe,
271
00:12:39,910 --> 00:12:41,620
it took my breath away.
272
00:12:41,661 --> 00:12:45,207
The hands on his sculptures,
they're so powerful.
273
00:12:45,248 --> 00:12:47,292
- Massive.
- Hands are great.
274
00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:49,211
- What is this?
- What does it taste like?
275
00:12:49,252 --> 00:12:52,172
- Rodin loves big hands. Go on.
- I can't imagine
276
00:12:52,214 --> 00:12:53,965
how he did it, how he
would look at nothing,
277
00:12:54,007 --> 00:12:57,094
a block of marble, and see what he saw.
278
00:12:57,135 --> 00:12:58,512
I'd love to show it to you.
279
00:12:58,553 --> 00:13:01,348
- Absolutely. Is it fish?
- Does it taste like fish?
280
00:13:01,390 --> 00:13:03,683
I can't wait to see Rodin's hands.
281
00:13:03,725 --> 00:13:07,437
What do you think, Simone?
282
00:13:07,479 --> 00:13:10,482
What did Mommy make?
283
00:13:21,535 --> 00:13:24,788
- Bonne nuit, mon amour.
- Bonne nuit, mon amour.
284
00:13:24,830 --> 00:13:28,291
- You're a wonderful man.
- You're a terrible cook.
285
00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:57,195
- Try it again, Tony.
- Back on.
286
00:13:57,237 --> 00:13:59,739
Okay, turn it off.
287
00:13:59,781 --> 00:14:02,325
- How long has this thing been out?
- Four or five days?
288
00:14:02,367 --> 00:14:03,952
Why haven't you gotten it fixed?
289
00:14:03,994 --> 00:14:05,721
Jankel, the guy who comes
and fixes the machines,
290
00:14:05,745 --> 00:14:07,205
- he only comes on Fridays.
- Why?
291
00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:08,748
I don't know. It's only Fridays.
292
00:14:08,790 --> 00:14:10,393
Before 1:00. That's
when he goes to temple.
293
00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:12,419
Only on Fridays. Okay.
294
00:14:14,171 --> 00:14:16,047
- Try it again, Tony.
- Back on.
295
00:14:17,340 --> 00:14:20,719
Well, it's not Gershwin,
but it's moving.
296
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:22,637
You need a new repairman.
297
00:14:22,679 --> 00:14:24,890
Jankel will be here Friday before 1:00.
298
00:14:24,931 --> 00:14:26,742
You need a repairman who
comes when things break.
299
00:14:26,766 --> 00:14:28,411
- You can't run things like this.
- I can't?
300
00:14:28,435 --> 00:14:29,829
I've only been doing it for 30 years.
301
00:14:29,853 --> 00:14:31,062
What the hell do I know?
302
00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:32,731
You're right. Jankel's gone.
303
00:14:32,772 --> 00:14:34,900
You run a factory. You
need machines that work.
304
00:14:34,941 --> 00:14:37,319
Ah, should I have him killed?
Firing may not be enough.
305
00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:40,071
He comes one day a week.
Not even a full day.
306
00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:42,073
- He leaves at 1:00.
- He should skip temple?
307
00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:45,076
You want the man who fixes
our machines to make God angry?
308
00:14:45,118 --> 00:14:47,346
- How does that end well for us?
- You're getting a new repairman.
309
00:14:47,370 --> 00:14:49,164
No, we're not. And what
the fuck did you put
310
00:14:49,206 --> 00:14:51,350
- a coffee machine in for?
- People need a coffee break.
311
00:14:51,374 --> 00:14:53,335
The whole place is
lining up for free coffee.
312
00:14:53,376 --> 00:14:55,921
- Nobody's working.
- Yes, it's a graveyard.
313
00:14:55,962 --> 00:14:57,589
What are you doing here, anyway, huh?
314
00:14:57,631 --> 00:14:59,609
You were supposed to come
by for a day, look around,
315
00:14:59,633 --> 00:15:01,426
say hi to everyone, see how things are.
316
00:15:01,468 --> 00:15:02,844
That was two weeks ago.
317
00:15:02,886 --> 00:15:04,429
There's a lot of people to say hi to.
318
00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:07,182
Plus, I hear there's free coffee now.
319
00:15:07,224 --> 00:15:09,601
Manny, not sure you
should be smoking there.
320
00:15:09,643 --> 00:15:11,394
I'm by a trash can.
321
00:15:11,436 --> 00:15:13,396
Lots of chemicals and
solvents all over the place.
322
00:15:13,438 --> 00:15:15,357
You remember the
Triangle Shirtwaist fire?
323
00:15:15,398 --> 00:15:16,358
Like it was yesterday.
324
00:15:16,399 --> 00:15:18,777
Get back to work, Manny.
325
00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:21,279
That's the fourth cigarette
break he's taken this morning.
326
00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:23,698
So what? You're so hot
for people taking breaks.
327
00:15:23,740 --> 00:15:25,700
People who work. I've
never seen him work.
328
00:15:25,742 --> 00:15:27,869
- What does Manny do?
- What does he do? Manny does.
329
00:15:27,911 --> 00:15:29,871
That's what Manny does. Manny does.
330
00:15:29,913 --> 00:15:31,540
Frieda, honey, you've been sitting there
331
00:15:31,581 --> 00:15:32,791
for four straight hours.
332
00:15:32,832 --> 00:15:34,042
Get up. Take a break.
333
00:15:34,084 --> 00:15:35,627
You're not chained to the table.
334
00:15:35,669 --> 00:15:37,629
- Are you?
- She's not chained to the table.
335
00:15:37,671 --> 00:15:39,506
Go have some coffee.
336
00:15:40,590 --> 00:15:42,175
Oh, look at her go.
337
00:15:42,217 --> 00:15:43,927
- Jesse Owens.
- Pop.
338
00:15:43,969 --> 00:15:46,680
What? It'll take her an
hour to walk across the room
339
00:15:46,721 --> 00:15:48,181
and an hour to get back.
340
00:15:48,223 --> 00:15:49,783
That's half of her remaining life span.
341
00:15:49,808 --> 00:15:52,102
- Moishe, she won't let me in.
- What?
342
00:15:52,143 --> 00:15:54,104
- Come. Come, come, come, come.
- Where we going?
343
00:15:54,145 --> 00:15:55,748
- Look, look, I'm locked out.
- What's happening?
344
00:15:55,772 --> 00:15:57,250
- Where's he going? Hey.
- Go, go. Get him, get him.
345
00:15:57,274 --> 00:15:58,501
- Hey, hey. Get back here.
- Come back here.
346
00:15:58,525 --> 00:16:01,236
Do not close the...
347
00:16:01,278 --> 00:16:03,321
Let me guess, it's worse than I thought.
348
00:16:03,363 --> 00:16:05,156
- Oh, much, much worse.
- Terrific.
349
00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:07,742
None of these numbers add
up. A... and this writing.
350
00:16:07,784 --> 00:16:09,327
At first, I thought it was in Hebrew,
351
00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:11,663
but then I realized
parts are in Yiddish.
352
00:16:11,705 --> 00:16:13,415
And this is ancient Aramaic,
353
00:16:13,456 --> 00:16:15,500
which has been a dead
language for 2,000 years.
354
00:16:15,542 --> 00:16:17,836
Can you figure out any of the money?
355
00:16:17,877 --> 00:16:20,672
- The figures?
- I think it's a numerical system
356
00:16:20,714 --> 00:16:22,692
that has eliminated the number six.
357
00:16:22,716 --> 00:16:24,301
What?
358
00:16:24,342 --> 00:16:26,595
Coming in, schmuck. You
lock me out of my own office?
359
00:16:26,636 --> 00:16:28,513
What is she doing with my book?
360
00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:30,473
You think I don't have
a key to my own office?
361
00:16:30,515 --> 00:16:32,660
- These books don't make sense.
- Of course they do.
362
00:16:32,684 --> 00:16:35,079
- What do you want to know?
- Well, everything would be nice.
363
00:16:35,103 --> 00:16:36,813
This column is the money we have.
364
00:16:36,855 --> 00:16:38,732
This column is the money we will have
365
00:16:38,773 --> 00:16:40,650
as soon as these people from this column
366
00:16:40,692 --> 00:16:41,985
or that column pay us.
367
00:16:42,027 --> 00:16:43,570
Unless it has a bagel stamp,
368
00:16:43,612 --> 00:16:44,922
which means it's still being negotiated
369
00:16:44,946 --> 00:16:47,490
but we started the work
anyway in case it works out.
370
00:16:47,532 --> 00:16:48,926
Three flags, that
means the check cleared.
371
00:16:48,950 --> 00:16:50,511
Two flowers, that means a half and half.
372
00:16:50,535 --> 00:16:52,662
- A half and half?
- Half check, half cash.
373
00:16:52,704 --> 00:16:54,289
Or half cash, half services.
374
00:16:54,331 --> 00:16:56,875
Or half... something
and half something else.
375
00:16:56,916 --> 00:16:59,336
- You have Kaufman and Hart write this bit?
- Uh, can I
376
00:16:59,377 --> 00:17:02,756
just ask you... um, there
is a Sunny spelled with a "U"
377
00:17:02,797 --> 00:17:05,508
and a Sonny with an "O"
and another with an I-E.
378
00:17:05,550 --> 00:17:07,177
Is that the same Sonny?
379
00:17:07,218 --> 00:17:09,179
Of course it's the same Sonny.
380
00:17:09,220 --> 00:17:11,681
It's Sonny. Sonny from Queens.
381
00:17:11,723 --> 00:17:14,452
- Pop, you need an accountant.
- What are you talking about, accountant?
382
00:17:14,476 --> 00:17:16,853
This is a foolproof system
that I invented myself.
383
00:17:16,895 --> 00:17:18,188
Completely secure.
384
00:17:18,229 --> 00:17:20,023
Only I can understand it.
385
00:17:20,065 --> 00:17:21,232
I don't know.
386
00:17:21,274 --> 00:17:23,193
I'll have you know that
we got audited once.
387
00:17:23,234 --> 00:17:24,879
And when the guy took
one look at this book,
388
00:17:24,903 --> 00:17:26,571
we never saw him again.
389
00:17:26,613 --> 00:17:28,740
I paid him off. That's
why we never saw him again.
390
00:17:28,782 --> 00:17:30,158
- Pop, this is crazy.
- Okay.
391
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:32,494
Enough. You came, you saw.
392
00:17:32,535 --> 00:17:34,847
Thank you for letting me know
that everything I do is wrong
393
00:17:34,871 --> 00:17:36,807
and your mother's accounting
system is a piece of shit.
394
00:17:36,831 --> 00:17:38,041
It really is a piece of shit.
395
00:17:38,083 --> 00:17:39,876
I'm serious. You and you, out.
396
00:17:39,918 --> 00:17:42,128
Well, all right. But before we leave,
397
00:17:42,170 --> 00:17:44,381
I found this book
398
00:17:44,422 --> 00:17:46,383
in a secret hiding place in the wall.
399
00:17:46,424 --> 00:17:48,653
No! Put that back. You should
not be looking through that.
400
00:17:48,677 --> 00:17:50,637
This is the special loans book.
401
00:17:50,679 --> 00:17:52,200
- Special loans book?
- What?
402
00:17:52,201 --> 00:17:53,482
- That's personal.
- Don't tell me
403
00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:54,533
you're borrowing money from those guys.
404
00:17:54,557 --> 00:17:56,476
- Once in a while.
- I can't believe this.
405
00:17:56,518 --> 00:17:58,478
You see yourself...
the machines break down.
406
00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:00,397
Those machines are expensive.
407
00:18:00,438 --> 00:18:02,649
How else are we supposed
to get that kind of cash?
408
00:18:02,691 --> 00:18:04,734
- From a bank?
- What are you, a big shot?
409
00:18:04,776 --> 00:18:07,153
Banks don't break your legs
or throw you in a river.
410
00:18:07,195 --> 00:18:09,406
I'm seeing amounts
here. I'm seeing names.
411
00:18:09,447 --> 00:18:11,950
But I'm not seeing any dates
for when the loans are due.
412
00:18:11,991 --> 00:18:13,827
Oh, well, we know
when the loans are due.
413
00:18:13,868 --> 00:18:15,930
A couple of guys break in
in the middle of the night.
414
00:18:15,954 --> 00:18:17,914
They bust up some chairs and windows.
415
00:18:17,956 --> 00:18:19,833
And that's when we know the loan is due.
416
00:18:19,874 --> 00:18:21,876
- Shirley, stop helping me.
- What?
417
00:18:21,918 --> 00:18:23,878
- What did I do wrong?
- Nothing, Ma. Relax.
418
00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:27,841
Why don't you go get
yourself a cup of coffee.
419
00:18:27,882 --> 00:18:29,026
There's a machine out there now.
420
00:18:29,050 --> 00:18:30,093
There's a coffee machine?
421
00:18:30,135 --> 00:18:32,387
Oh, what a wonderful idea!
422
00:18:33,847 --> 00:18:35,390
Go home.
423
00:18:35,432 --> 00:18:37,350
You know what, Pop, I'm not going home.
424
00:18:37,392 --> 00:18:38,768
I'm staying.
425
00:18:38,810 --> 00:18:40,246
I'm gonna go through
those cockamamie books,
426
00:18:40,270 --> 00:18:42,105
and I'm gonna get things
in shape around here.
427
00:18:42,147 --> 00:18:45,650
I'm gonna start by firing the
low-hanging fruit like Manny.
428
00:18:45,692 --> 00:18:48,003
- Manny's not a fruit. He came to your bar mitzvah.
- He's gone.
429
00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:49,821
I'm firing him today. Along with Pete,
430
00:18:49,863 --> 00:18:51,340
who's in the storage room playing cards
431
00:18:51,364 --> 00:18:52,675
with two other guys that I don't know.
432
00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:53,742
They're fired, too.
433
00:18:53,783 --> 00:18:55,994
Every single freeloader
around here, gone.
434
00:18:56,035 --> 00:18:57,662
I'm getting them off the payroll.
435
00:18:57,704 --> 00:18:59,831
I'm gonna find a fucking
seven-day-a-week repairman.
436
00:18:59,873 --> 00:19:02,417
And once I know this place isn't
being run like a mental asylum,
437
00:19:02,459 --> 00:19:04,711
then I'll go home.
438
00:19:06,963 --> 00:19:10,550
Oh, this coffee is delicious!
439
00:19:23,062 --> 00:19:25,398
She's got to work on these notes.
440
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:27,484
Here comes one, with Andy
Griffith bringing it in.
441
00:19:27,525 --> 00:19:29,003
Andy Griffith!
442
00:19:29,027 --> 00:19:32,989
Howdy, Steve. Well...
443
00:19:33,031 --> 00:19:34,741
Who's next for you?
444
00:19:34,783 --> 00:19:37,786
I've got one here,
Steve, from last July,
445
00:19:37,827 --> 00:19:41,206
where they sent up two
mice in a space rocket,
446
00:19:41,247 --> 00:19:42,874
and they... they lost them both.
447
00:19:42,916 --> 00:19:44,143
I heard about that. It's too bad.
448
00:19:44,167 --> 00:19:45,519
How do they plan to find them again?
449
00:19:45,543 --> 00:19:47,253
Well, they got it figured out, Steve.
450
00:19:47,295 --> 00:19:48,731
They figure they're gonna launch a cat.
451
00:19:48,755 --> 00:19:50,173
- A cat. Uh
-huh. Yeah.
452
00:19:50,215 --> 00:19:52,467
Thank you, Andy. He'll
be back in a little bit.
453
00:19:52,509 --> 00:19:54,886
And now, here come the McGuire Sisters.
454
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:02,977
Night, Susie.
455
00:20:03,019 --> 00:20:05,939
Night, Ethan.
456
00:20:05,980 --> 00:20:08,608
Look. Should we get it for Sergei?
457
00:20:08,650 --> 00:20:10,777
Oh, God, no.
458
00:20:10,819 --> 00:20:13,696
- To the market?
- To the market.
459
00:20:13,738 --> 00:20:16,157
I do love our Thursdays.
460
00:22:03,389 --> 00:22:07,977
♪ I see trees of green ♪
461
00:22:08,019 --> 00:22:11,439
♪ Red roses, too ♪
462
00:22:11,481 --> 00:22:14,651
♪ I see them bloom ♪
463
00:22:14,692 --> 00:22:16,986
♪ For me and you ♪
464
00:22:17,028 --> 00:22:22,200
♪ And I think to myself ♪
465
00:22:22,241 --> 00:22:26,162
♪ What a wonderful world ♪
466
00:22:29,082 --> 00:22:31,209
♪ Yes ♪
467
00:22:31,250 --> 00:22:36,089
♪ I think to myself ♪
468
00:22:36,130 --> 00:22:40,843
♪ What a wonderful world ♪
469
00:22:46,265 --> 00:22:50,770
♪ Ooh, yeah. ♪
470
00:22:54,273 --> 00:22:55,483
Hello?
471
00:22:55,525 --> 00:22:56,961
Hey, pal, it's Daddy.
472
00:22:56,985 --> 00:22:58,194
Hi, Daddy.
473
00:22:58,236 --> 00:23:00,613
Wow, you're answering
the phone now, huh, buddy?
474
00:23:00,655 --> 00:23:03,241
- Big man now.
- Yeah.
475
00:23:03,282 --> 00:23:04,784
Hey, put your mommy on, okay?
476
00:23:04,826 --> 00:23:06,285
Okay.
477
00:23:06,327 --> 00:23:08,287
Phone!
478
00:23:10,248 --> 00:23:11,833
Hello?
479
00:23:11,874 --> 00:23:13,668
Who the fuck is this?
480
00:23:13,710 --> 00:23:15,753
- Who the fuck is this?
- This is Joel.
481
00:23:15,795 --> 00:23:17,296
- Who?
- Midge's husband. Who are you?
482
00:23:17,338 --> 00:23:18,548
Susie.
483
00:23:18,589 --> 00:23:21,217
- Susie who?
- From the Gaslight.
484
00:23:21,259 --> 00:23:22,719
What the hell are you doing there?
485
00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:24,762
I don't know. Why the
hell are you calling?
486
00:23:24,804 --> 00:23:26,848
- Midge is my wife.
- Not anymore.
487
00:23:26,889 --> 00:23:29,809
I asked Ethan to put his mother
on... why'd he put you on?
488
00:23:29,851 --> 00:23:31,519
I don't know, he's your idiot kid.
489
00:23:31,561 --> 00:23:33,146
You know what?
490
00:23:33,187 --> 00:23:35,106
- Is Midge there?
- No.
491
00:23:35,148 --> 00:23:36,524
Can you take a message?
492
00:23:36,566 --> 00:23:38,151
- No.
- Will you take a message?
493
00:23:38,192 --> 00:23:40,653
I need her to meet me. It's important.
494
00:23:40,695 --> 00:23:42,780
- Hello?
- Fine.
495
00:23:42,822 --> 00:23:45,241
Tell Midge to meet me at 15 West 40th.
496
00:23:45,283 --> 00:23:47,660
I... I like the molding,
497
00:23:47,702 --> 00:23:49,096
but I may want to strip the paint off.
498
00:23:49,120 --> 00:23:51,164
- Is that possible?
- It's getting late.
499
00:23:51,205 --> 00:23:54,542
- Knock-knock.
- Midge, great. Come in.
500
00:23:54,584 --> 00:23:56,044
I'd like you to meet Mr. Greenberg.
501
00:23:56,085 --> 00:23:57,545
Mr. Greenberg owns the building.
502
00:23:57,587 --> 00:24:00,506
Oh, well, your parents
must be so very proud.
503
00:24:00,548 --> 00:24:03,468
Don't touch anything.
The paint's not dry.
504
00:24:03,509 --> 00:24:05,887
- Well, he's a charmer.
- He's fine.
505
00:24:05,928 --> 00:24:08,222
The most important thing is
he keeps a clean building.
506
00:24:08,264 --> 00:24:11,059
Anyhow, thank you for coming.
507
00:24:11,100 --> 00:24:13,186
- You said it was important.
- I know.
508
00:24:13,227 --> 00:24:15,605
I didn't mean to be
dramatic, but I... I've toured
509
00:24:15,646 --> 00:24:17,482
a lot of shitholes
over the past few weeks,
510
00:24:17,523 --> 00:24:19,400
so when I finally found this place,
511
00:24:19,442 --> 00:24:21,986
I had to get you down here
before someone else took it.
512
00:24:22,028 --> 00:24:24,197
What are you talking
about? What is this?
513
00:24:24,238 --> 00:24:27,492
Your new apartment.
514
00:24:27,533 --> 00:24:29,368
I really think it's the
perfect place for you.
515
00:24:29,410 --> 00:24:32,955
- For me?
- And Ethan and Esther.
516
00:24:32,997 --> 00:24:34,749
I know it's smaller than you're used to,
517
00:24:34,791 --> 00:24:37,794
but it's very clean,
it's an elevator building.
518
00:24:37,835 --> 00:24:40,338
It's a great location, halfway
between the club downtown
519
00:24:40,379 --> 00:24:41,881
and your parents' apartment.
520
00:24:41,923 --> 00:24:43,275
There's a great park a block away.
521
00:24:43,299 --> 00:24:44,526
The butcher's right around the corner,
522
00:24:44,550 --> 00:24:45,819
and it's right off three subways.
523
00:24:45,843 --> 00:24:48,596
I can manage it, and you
won't have to work anymore.
524
00:24:48,638 --> 00:24:51,140
Whoa, whoa, whoa, who says
I'm gonna stop working?
525
00:24:51,182 --> 00:24:53,643
- Well, you'll have to.
- Oh, I will?
526
00:24:53,684 --> 00:24:55,269
- Why will I have to?
- I...
527
00:24:55,311 --> 00:24:57,647
Am I suddenly unable to apply lipstick?
528
00:24:57,688 --> 00:24:59,315
- No.
- I can't point to powder?
529
00:24:59,357 --> 00:25:01,192
- You can point.
- I can't spritz a person
530
00:25:01,234 --> 00:25:02,954
with perfume? That's
where my abilities end?
531
00:25:02,985 --> 00:25:04,379
You'll have the kids. You
won't have your parents
532
00:25:04,403 --> 00:25:05,404
or Zelda around.
533
00:25:05,446 --> 00:25:06,656
I figured you'd want to quit.
534
00:25:06,697 --> 00:25:07,907
Oh, you figured. You figured?
535
00:25:07,949 --> 00:25:09,700
- What's the matter?
- I just don't like you
536
00:25:09,742 --> 00:25:11,035
telling me where I'm gonna live.
537
00:25:11,077 --> 00:25:12,120
I wasn't telling you.
538
00:25:12,161 --> 00:25:13,496
Where are you gonna live, huh?
539
00:25:13,538 --> 00:25:14,747
- Me?
- Yeah, you're still
540
00:25:14,789 --> 00:25:16,249
- at your parents', right?
- Yes.
541
00:25:16,290 --> 00:25:17,559
Well, if you can tell
me where I'm gonna live,
542
00:25:17,583 --> 00:25:18,769
- then I can tell you where you're gonna live.
- Midge.
543
00:25:18,793 --> 00:25:20,270
Turtle Bay. You're
gonna live in Turtle Bay.
544
00:25:20,294 --> 00:25:22,380
- Where the hell is Turtle Bay?
- I don't know.
545
00:25:22,421 --> 00:25:23,857
It's right off three subways. Have fun!
546
00:25:23,881 --> 00:25:25,466
- Why are you angry?
- I'm not angry.
547
00:25:25,508 --> 00:25:27,677
- It's a nice apartment.
- I had a nice apartment.
548
00:25:27,718 --> 00:25:29,595
- I know.
- And I lost it because of you.
549
00:25:29,637 --> 00:25:31,013
I know.
550
00:25:31,055 --> 00:25:32,849
And it was right off three subways, too.
551
00:25:32,890 --> 00:25:34,267
It wasn't, actually.
552
00:25:34,308 --> 00:25:36,269
How can you suddenly afford this?
553
00:25:36,310 --> 00:25:38,312
Huh? You quit your job.
554
00:25:38,354 --> 00:25:39,939
- Right?
- Uh...
555
00:25:39,981 --> 00:25:41,375
Imogene said that you quit your job,
556
00:25:41,399 --> 00:25:42,709
and now Archie's gonna get fired.
557
00:25:42,733 --> 00:25:43,919
Why is Archie gonna get fired?
558
00:25:43,943 --> 00:25:45,236
I don't know. Ask Imogene.
559
00:25:45,278 --> 00:25:47,297
She said that you walked
out and left Archie standing
560
00:25:47,321 --> 00:25:48,781
next to the chart that she made.
561
00:25:48,823 --> 00:25:50,241
- Imogene made that chart?
- Yes.
562
00:25:50,283 --> 00:25:51,367
That was a great chart.
563
00:25:51,409 --> 00:25:52,451
So you get another job?
564
00:25:52,493 --> 00:25:54,787
- Midge, I've got it covered.
- How?
565
00:25:54,829 --> 00:25:55,973
Do you like the apartment or not?
566
00:25:55,997 --> 00:25:59,375
- No.
- Fine.
567
00:25:59,417 --> 00:26:01,002
Yes, it's very nice.
568
00:26:01,043 --> 00:26:03,713
The phone niche is
particularly delightful.
569
00:26:03,754 --> 00:26:06,048
I'm sorry, it's not the apartment.
570
00:26:06,090 --> 00:26:08,843
The apartment's fine. It's just a lot...
571
00:26:08,885 --> 00:26:11,053
I can find my own place.
572
00:26:11,095 --> 00:26:12,972
Okay, find your own place.
573
00:26:13,014 --> 00:26:14,825
Just tell me what it
costs and I'll pay for it.
574
00:26:14,849 --> 00:26:16,601
With the job you don't have yet?
575
00:26:16,642 --> 00:26:18,394
Midge, give me a break, please?
576
00:26:18,436 --> 00:26:21,063
I'm just trying to do some
fucking thing right here!
577
00:26:21,105 --> 00:26:25,860
I know. I know.
578
00:26:25,902 --> 00:26:28,446
Sorry to drag you out here like this.
579
00:26:28,487 --> 00:26:30,406
It's a nice place, it's just...
580
00:26:30,448 --> 00:26:33,326
I get it.
581
00:26:39,457 --> 00:26:41,417
I don't want you to live in Turtle Bay.
582
00:26:41,459 --> 00:26:43,920
I don't either.
583
00:26:43,961 --> 00:26:46,172
Okay.
584
00:26:46,214 --> 00:26:48,466
Well, that's settled.
585
00:26:50,885 --> 00:26:53,262
No, no, no, no, no, I... I can do this.
586
00:26:53,304 --> 00:26:55,199
I am a learned man, I
teach at a major university.
587
00:26:55,223 --> 00:26:56,349
Fine.
588
00:26:56,390 --> 00:26:58,517
Ah! Thursday, right there.
589
00:26:58,559 --> 00:26:59,936
That says "Thursday."
590
00:26:59,977 --> 00:27:02,647
Bravo. Ethan would be very proud of you.
591
00:27:02,688 --> 00:27:05,983
See, I hear some very French
sarcasm in that "bravo."
592
00:27:06,025 --> 00:27:07,944
Pas du tout! That means "not at all."
593
00:27:07,985 --> 00:27:09,654
Are you ready?
594
00:27:09,695 --> 00:27:10,947
For what?
595
00:27:10,988 --> 00:27:12,406
Come on.
596
00:27:12,448 --> 00:27:14,075
Rose, where are you taking me?
597
00:27:14,116 --> 00:27:16,410
Rose, you're being very mysterious.
598
00:27:16,452 --> 00:27:18,329
Am I? We're here.
599
00:27:18,371 --> 00:27:21,123
It's so exciting.
600
00:27:26,796 --> 00:27:28,631
Voilà!
601
00:27:28,673 --> 00:27:30,591
What is this?
602
00:27:30,633 --> 00:27:33,636
Jeanne, from my class, her
parents own the building.
603
00:27:33,678 --> 00:27:35,221
The tenants just moved out,
604
00:27:35,263 --> 00:27:36,949
so they haven't had the
chance to fix it up yet,
605
00:27:36,973 --> 00:27:38,492
but I just had to show
it to you immediately.
606
00:27:38,516 --> 00:27:40,101
Obviously, it needs some paint
607
00:27:40,142 --> 00:27:42,120
and some repairs here and
there, but look at the view.
608
00:27:42,144 --> 00:27:43,479
Ooh, that's some view.
609
00:27:43,521 --> 00:27:45,481
See over there? That's your café.
610
00:27:45,523 --> 00:27:47,108
- So it is.
- Five blocks away.
611
00:27:47,149 --> 00:27:49,527
- Ah.
- There are two bedrooms back here.
612
00:27:49,568 --> 00:27:51,570
A perfect little kitchen, bathroom.
613
00:27:51,612 --> 00:27:53,090
- Look at that ceiling.
- Isn't it marvelous?
614
00:27:53,114 --> 00:27:54,949
I almost don't want them to fix it up.
615
00:27:54,991 --> 00:27:57,326
It's sort of glorious in its shabbiness.
616
00:27:57,368 --> 00:28:00,329
We... we could put a sofa there,
617
00:28:00,371 --> 00:28:02,123
some chairs, right over here your piano.
618
00:28:02,164 --> 00:28:03,267
Ooh, yes.
619
00:28:03,291 --> 00:28:04,542
The acoustics are perfect.
620
00:28:04,583 --> 00:28:06,085
The dining room would go in here.
621
00:28:06,127 --> 00:28:09,130
We could fit eight
comfortably, ten with a leaf.
622
00:28:09,171 --> 00:28:12,341
And right over here would be
a great place for you to read.
623
00:28:12,383 --> 00:28:14,593
Oh, yes, perfect reading light.
624
00:28:14,635 --> 00:28:18,097
This wall is for bookshelves,
I think a console over here.
625
00:28:18,139 --> 00:28:19,765
A radio, record player...
626
00:28:19,807 --> 00:28:21,118
- Are they dog friendly?
- They're dog friendly.
627
00:28:21,142 --> 00:28:22,643
They have to be dog friendly.
628
00:28:22,685 --> 00:28:24,246
Plus, there's a little
park around the corner
629
00:28:24,270 --> 00:28:25,330
where we could throw her little ball.
630
00:28:25,354 --> 00:28:26,415
She loves that little ball.
631
00:28:26,439 --> 00:28:28,024
It's special, isn't it?
632
00:28:28,065 --> 00:28:31,235
- Well, it is just a ball.
- No, the apartment.
633
00:28:31,277 --> 00:28:33,571
- Oh, yes, it's magnificent.
- I know.
634
00:28:33,612 --> 00:28:35,114
I mean, I love our little place,
635
00:28:35,156 --> 00:28:37,450
but it's not very
practical for the long term.
636
00:28:37,491 --> 00:28:40,578
Though I will miss the boys, but
we'll just have to get used to
637
00:28:40,619 --> 00:28:41,996
our own bathroom again.
638
00:28:42,038 --> 00:28:44,582
And hot water, we'll have to
get used to hot water again.
639
00:28:44,623 --> 00:28:49,170
Rose.
640
00:28:49,211 --> 00:28:51,380
- Rose.
- Hmm?
641
00:28:53,549 --> 00:28:56,010
We can't buy this apartment.
642
00:28:56,052 --> 00:28:57,386
Why not?
643
00:28:57,428 --> 00:28:59,430
Because we don't live here.
644
00:28:59,472 --> 00:29:01,182
Well, we will after we buy the place.
645
00:29:01,223 --> 00:29:03,309
In Paris, we don't live in Paris.
646
00:29:03,351 --> 00:29:04,643
We have to go home.
647
00:29:04,685 --> 00:29:06,145
Paris is home.
648
00:29:06,187 --> 00:29:07,813
No, Rose, it's not.
649
00:29:07,855 --> 00:29:09,398
Why not?
650
00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:11,650
Because my classes at
Columbia start in a week.
651
00:29:11,692 --> 00:29:13,486
I'm a tenured professor.
652
00:29:13,527 --> 00:29:15,780
And if I don't go back, I'll
lose my spot at Bell Labs.
653
00:29:15,821 --> 00:29:18,366
And if I don't go
back, what will I lose?
654
00:29:18,407 --> 00:29:21,285
- Well...
- Drapes will have to be made,
655
00:29:21,327 --> 00:29:22,870
but the shutters will do for now.
656
00:29:22,912 --> 00:29:25,498
Rose, stop. Our lives are in New York.
657
00:29:25,539 --> 00:29:26,916
Your friends are in New York.
658
00:29:26,957 --> 00:29:28,501
Your... your garden club is in New York.
659
00:29:28,542 --> 00:29:30,795
I have friends here, too. So do you.
660
00:29:30,836 --> 00:29:32,922
- What friends?
- What are you talking about?
661
00:29:32,963 --> 00:29:35,633
Thierry, Rolf, Sergei. Have
you forgotten about them?
662
00:29:35,674 --> 00:29:37,510
Of course not.
663
00:29:37,551 --> 00:29:39,654
You're part of their group;
you're... you're one of them.
664
00:29:39,678 --> 00:29:43,557
I am not one of th... I have no
idea what they're talking about.
665
00:29:43,599 --> 00:29:46,185
They could be sitting there
saying, "That idiot, Abe,
666
00:29:46,227 --> 00:29:48,604
"thinks we like him.
Let's set his coat on fire,
667
00:29:48,646 --> 00:29:50,648
and see how long it
takes him to notice."
668
00:29:50,689 --> 00:29:52,358
Well, not Thierry, he cries too much,
669
00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:54,193
but Sergei, he looks like a pyro.
670
00:29:54,235 --> 00:29:56,195
That's not true;
they're kindred spirits.
671
00:29:56,237 --> 00:29:58,531
They all drink 40 cups of coffee a day
672
00:29:58,572 --> 00:30:00,366
and switch to absinthe at noon.
673
00:30:00,408 --> 00:30:02,785
They all have wives and girlfriends.
674
00:30:02,827 --> 00:30:05,371
- So what?
- I don't want a girlfriend.
675
00:30:05,413 --> 00:30:07,748
I'm still getting used to a maid.
676
00:30:07,790 --> 00:30:10,751
I am not French. I'm different.
677
00:30:10,793 --> 00:30:12,878
You're adjusting. Y...
you're learning the language.
678
00:30:12,920 --> 00:30:14,797
"Thursday," I learned "Thursday."
679
00:30:14,839 --> 00:30:17,091
W... Wednesday can't be far behind.
680
00:30:17,133 --> 00:30:18,926
Rose.
681
00:30:18,968 --> 00:30:22,304
I want to go home.
682
00:30:22,346 --> 00:30:25,850
This has been a wonderful vacation...
683
00:30:28,102 --> 00:30:30,813
... but it's time to
go back to our life.
684
00:30:30,855 --> 00:30:32,523
What life?
685
00:30:32,565 --> 00:30:34,483
My daughter does not want my guidance.
686
00:30:34,525 --> 00:30:36,068
You have no need for my input.
687
00:30:36,110 --> 00:30:37,653
I'm alone in New York.
688
00:30:37,695 --> 00:30:40,072
Here, I have art.
689
00:30:40,114 --> 00:30:43,159
I have independence; no
one looks at me with pity.
690
00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:45,411
- No one looks at you...
- Poor Rose, she's too fragile
691
00:30:45,453 --> 00:30:48,164
to be told the truth, too
delicate to confide in.
692
00:30:48,205 --> 00:30:50,458
She'll shatter.
693
00:30:50,499 --> 00:30:54,628
Here in Paris, I'm...
694
00:30:54,670 --> 00:30:56,714
shatterproof.
695
00:30:56,755 --> 00:30:58,966
I'm... I'm sorry I lied to you.
696
00:30:59,008 --> 00:31:01,510
I'll never do it again.
697
00:31:01,552 --> 00:31:04,930
And I... I promise we
will figure out a way
698
00:31:04,972 --> 00:31:07,183
to make it better once we get back.
699
00:31:07,224 --> 00:31:10,102
But we have to go back.
700
00:31:10,144 --> 00:31:12,396
Do you hear me?
701
00:31:12,438 --> 00:31:15,191
Rose.
702
00:31:15,232 --> 00:31:17,902
Rosie.
703
00:31:31,999 --> 00:31:33,751
Wait.
704
00:31:33,792 --> 00:31:35,503
Smell that?
705
00:31:35,544 --> 00:31:36,962
Smells like cheap beer and piss.
706
00:31:37,004 --> 00:31:39,006
I know. Exciting, right?
707
00:31:39,048 --> 00:31:40,382
Hi. I'm working here tonight.
708
00:31:40,424 --> 00:31:41,926
- I'm a comic.
- Oh.
709
00:31:41,967 --> 00:31:43,219
What's up her ass?
710
00:31:43,260 --> 00:31:44,345
Tone down the perk.
711
00:31:44,386 --> 00:31:45,471
We're in a real club now.
712
00:31:45,513 --> 00:31:46,555
Sorry.
713
00:31:46,597 --> 00:31:47,890
Fuck you, keep walking.
714
00:31:47,932 --> 00:31:49,099
There you go.
715
00:31:49,141 --> 00:31:52,019
Aha. There he is.
716
00:31:52,061 --> 00:31:53,646
Bobby, hi.
717
00:31:53,687 --> 00:31:55,648
Susie Myerson of Susie
Myerson and Associates.
718
00:31:55,689 --> 00:31:57,733
I don't need that.
You're my girl comedian?
719
00:31:57,775 --> 00:31:59,109
- Yes, I am.
- All right.
720
00:31:59,151 --> 00:32:00,778
I have you down for
an eight-minute slot.
721
00:32:00,819 --> 00:32:02,130
Eight minutes. Eight
minutes. Eight minutes?
722
00:32:02,154 --> 00:32:03,590
- I'll talk fast.
- Eight minutes is great.
723
00:32:03,614 --> 00:32:04,573
Here's four drink tickets.
724
00:32:04,615 --> 00:32:06,200
You're up third.
725
00:32:06,242 --> 00:32:08,160
- Third. Good slot.
- Really?
726
00:32:08,202 --> 00:32:09,828
Are you kidding? Third is perfect.
727
00:32:09,870 --> 00:32:11,830
The crowd is warmed up but not worn out.
728
00:32:11,872 --> 00:32:13,332
Yeah? Okay. Third. Great.
729
00:32:13,374 --> 00:32:15,668
How do I look? Hair? Makeup? Teeth?
730
00:32:15,709 --> 00:32:17,920
Excuse me. Uh, Mrs. Maisel, is it?
731
00:32:17,962 --> 00:32:19,338
- Midge is fine.
- Oh.
732
00:32:19,380 --> 00:32:20,965
Midge is fine. Isn't Midge fine?
733
00:32:21,006 --> 00:32:23,759
Bobby told us there was a
lady comic coming on tonight.
734
00:32:23,801 --> 00:32:25,427
Didn't tell us she was quite so pretty.
735
00:32:25,469 --> 00:32:27,555
- Well, thank you.
- That is a lovely dress.
736
00:32:27,596 --> 00:32:29,431
Susie Myerson. I'm her manager.
737
00:32:29,473 --> 00:32:31,368
So you're the girl from
the Gaslight gig, right?
738
00:32:31,392 --> 00:32:33,143
Lenny Bruce's girl.
739
00:32:33,185 --> 00:32:34,663
Oh, I'm not his girl, just his friend.
740
00:32:34,687 --> 00:32:35,997
So what kind of act do you do?
741
00:32:36,021 --> 00:32:38,649
Birds? Violin? Wait... singer.
742
00:32:38,691 --> 00:32:40,001
- Nope.
- Oh, you should sing.
743
00:32:40,025 --> 00:32:41,253
You'd clean up as a singer.
744
00:32:41,277 --> 00:32:42,653
But I... I don't sing.
745
00:32:42,695 --> 00:32:44,321
It doesn't matter, just wear that dress.
746
00:32:44,363 --> 00:32:47,658
Hey, so one colleague to
another, uh, you and Lenny... ?
747
00:32:47,700 --> 00:32:49,118
Me and Lenny what?
748
00:32:49,159 --> 00:32:50,971
Well, what he did for
you, that was pretty big.
749
00:32:50,995 --> 00:32:52,973
You must've done something
pretty big for him first, right?
750
00:32:52,997 --> 00:32:54,790
Nothing but respect if you did.
751
00:32:54,832 --> 00:32:56,834
Hey, I'd sleep with
Lenny Bruce if he asked.
752
00:32:56,875 --> 00:32:59,503
- The man is a god.
- She did not fucking sleep with Lenny Bruce.
753
00:32:59,545 --> 00:33:00,879
- Yeah.
- And even if she did,
754
00:33:00,921 --> 00:33:02,381
that's not why he did the gig.
755
00:33:02,423 --> 00:33:03,924
I... I didn't sleep with him.
756
00:33:03,966 --> 00:33:05,342
I know, but my point is,
757
00:33:05,384 --> 00:33:07,011
even if you did, it doesn't matter.
758
00:33:07,052 --> 00:33:08,863
- Yeah, but I didn't.
- I know, but if you did... ?
759
00:33:08,887 --> 00:33:10,431
For fuck's sake.
760
00:33:10,472 --> 00:33:12,391
Wow, little lady's got a potty mouth.
761
00:33:12,433 --> 00:33:15,728
Lenny teach you that also?
762
00:33:17,021 --> 00:33:19,148
- Well, I like them.
- Oh, relax.
763
00:33:19,189 --> 00:33:21,209
Odds are at least one of
them has late-stage syphilis.
764
00:33:21,233 --> 00:33:22,276
I'm getting a drink.
765
00:33:22,318 --> 00:33:23,360
- You want one?
- Nope.
766
00:33:23,402 --> 00:33:24,361
- You want to sit?
- Nope.
767
00:33:24,403 --> 00:33:25,779
I am going to stay fresh.
768
00:33:25,821 --> 00:33:27,323
Okay, well, as long as you're okay
769
00:33:27,364 --> 00:33:28,883
with me sitting and
drinking, we're good.
770
00:33:28,907 --> 00:33:30,576
Hey, everybody, I'm Bobby Stelter,
771
00:33:30,618 --> 00:33:32,244
your humble host for the evening.
772
00:33:32,286 --> 00:33:34,872
Are you guys in the mood
for a fantastic show?
773
00:33:34,913 --> 00:33:36,874
All right, then what you want to do
774
00:33:36,915 --> 00:33:38,518
is walk outside and
catch a cab to the Copa
775
00:33:38,542 --> 00:33:39,793
'cause it ain't happening here.
776
00:33:39,835 --> 00:33:41,104
Now, let's bring up our first comic.
777
00:33:41,128 --> 00:33:43,422
He's Canadian, but don't
hold that against him.
778
00:33:43,464 --> 00:33:45,341
Joey Parker!
779
00:33:48,344 --> 00:33:49,887
Thanks, Bobby.
780
00:33:49,928 --> 00:33:51,680
True story.
781
00:33:51,722 --> 00:33:55,559
Before John Wayne was famous,
he was a prop man on movie sets.
782
00:33:55,601 --> 00:33:58,562
But what if he never became "The Duke"
783
00:33:58,604 --> 00:34:00,522
and was still working behind the scenes?
784
00:34:00,564 --> 00:34:03,400
Could you see him having to
be James Mason's prop guy?
785
00:34:04,985 --> 00:34:07,738
Well, here ya go, pilgrim.
786
00:34:07,780 --> 00:34:09,365
A gun?
787
00:34:09,406 --> 00:34:12,326
Why are you handing me a gun?
788
00:34:12,368 --> 00:34:14,953
It's a Colt Single Action.
789
00:34:14,995 --> 00:34:17,122
They'll know who's boss.
790
00:34:17,164 --> 00:34:19,375
- Mrs. Maisel.
- Yes, here.
791
00:34:19,416 --> 00:34:21,293
- Put your hand down.
- Slight change.
792
00:34:21,335 --> 00:34:23,128
You're gonna go on fourth now, okay?
793
00:34:23,170 --> 00:34:24,505
Oh, sure. Fourth.
794
00:34:24,546 --> 00:34:26,131
- Fourth is, fourth is...
- Better.
795
00:34:26,173 --> 00:34:27,966
- Really?
- Much better. Fourth is perfect.
796
00:34:28,008 --> 00:34:29,635
I thought you said third was perfect.
797
00:34:29,677 --> 00:34:31,178
Mm, fourth is more perfect.
798
00:34:31,220 --> 00:34:33,239
I didn't want to say it before
'cause you were going on third,
799
00:34:33,263 --> 00:34:34,973
but fourth is so much better.
800
00:34:35,015 --> 00:34:37,518
Yo, barkeep.
801
00:34:37,559 --> 00:34:39,561
I used to be a lawyer
802
00:34:39,603 --> 00:34:41,063
and I was terrible at it.
803
00:34:41,105 --> 00:34:43,774
I would hear the other
lawyers' arguments
804
00:34:43,816 --> 00:34:45,377
and I'd start to look at
my client sideways like,
805
00:34:45,401 --> 00:34:47,653
"Yeah, you do seem guilty."
806
00:34:47,695 --> 00:34:50,531
- You sure you don't want to sit?
- Staying fresh.
807
00:34:50,572 --> 00:34:52,676
Okay, well, see, here's what's
good about going on fourth.
808
00:34:52,700 --> 00:34:54,243
I'm listening.
809
00:34:54,284 --> 00:34:56,245
Gives you time to look
around, take in the room.
810
00:34:56,286 --> 00:34:58,163
- What am I looking for?
- Material.
811
00:34:58,205 --> 00:35:01,542
- For example, you see that lady?
- Yeah. Ooh, that hat.
812
00:35:01,583 --> 00:35:04,128
Exactly. That hat is
screaming to be talked about.
813
00:35:04,169 --> 00:35:06,964
That hat is the fat girl in a
family full of beauty queens.
814
00:35:07,005 --> 00:35:08,382
I can do something with that.
815
00:35:08,424 --> 00:35:10,592
Hey, doll, what's with the hat?
816
00:35:10,634 --> 00:35:13,137
Going to a Minnie Pearl
look-alike contest later?
817
00:35:13,178 --> 00:35:15,180
Howdy!
818
00:35:15,222 --> 00:35:17,850
Shit. Minnie Pearl. So easy.
819
00:35:17,891 --> 00:35:19,435
Work for it a little at least.
820
00:35:19,476 --> 00:35:21,145
Bobby, I have another
spot tonight uptown.
821
00:35:21,186 --> 00:35:22,604
At this rate, I'll never get there.
822
00:35:22,646 --> 00:35:24,165
- Stan...
- You want me to miss the gig?
823
00:35:24,189 --> 00:35:25,583
I won't get paid and my little girl's
824
00:35:25,607 --> 00:35:27,151
gonna have to go without braces.
825
00:35:27,192 --> 00:35:28,962
She's gonna go through
life looking like Tim Tam
826
00:35:28,986 --> 00:35:30,529
'cause you got an Italian watch.
827
00:35:30,571 --> 00:35:31,905
Okay, okay. You're up next.
828
00:35:31,947 --> 00:35:33,907
- You thinking what I'm thinking?
- Yup.
829
00:35:33,949 --> 00:35:35,993
- Mrs. Maisel, listen, I'm sorr...
- Yeah, we heard.
830
00:35:36,034 --> 00:35:37,995
You've already bumped
her. Bump someone else.
831
00:35:38,036 --> 00:35:39,639
Stan's a regular. He's been
working here four years.
832
00:35:39,663 --> 00:35:41,331
He brings people in.
833
00:35:41,373 --> 00:35:44,585
You work here four years, you
bring people in, we'll talk.
834
00:35:44,626 --> 00:35:47,463
So, going fifth is better 'cause... ?
835
00:35:47,504 --> 00:35:49,840
The audience is drunker? Lowers the bar.
836
00:35:55,471 --> 00:35:57,306
All right, let's keep
this cavalcade of comedy
837
00:35:57,347 --> 00:35:58,932
moving along, right?
838
00:35:58,974 --> 00:36:01,018
All right, next up, a
lot of you know his work.
839
00:36:01,059 --> 00:36:03,771
He's always funny, always
polite and discreet,
840
00:36:03,812 --> 00:36:07,232
our very own Stan Benning!
841
00:36:07,274 --> 00:36:10,402
- Stan!
- Thanks, Bobby. Mwah!
842
00:36:10,444 --> 00:36:12,905
Hey, look at you.
843
00:36:12,946 --> 00:36:14,823
Lots of beautiful women in the audience.
844
00:36:14,865 --> 00:36:16,408
Too bad I'm married.
845
00:36:16,450 --> 00:36:20,412
My wife looks like a
work of art, a Picasso.
846
00:36:20,454 --> 00:36:22,623
You know, Disney has a
new movie about a princess
847
00:36:22,664 --> 00:36:24,416
called Sleeping Beauty
848
00:36:24,458 --> 00:36:28,670
and a new movie about my wife
called, "Not now, I'm sleeping."
849
00:36:28,712 --> 00:36:31,965
Oh, and hey, we got a girl
comic coming up in a little bit.
850
00:36:32,007 --> 00:36:33,675
That ought to be entertaining.
851
00:36:33,717 --> 00:36:36,178
Madge or Marjorie, something like that.
852
00:36:36,220 --> 00:36:37,930
Don't get too excited, fellas.
853
00:36:37,971 --> 00:36:39,973
She keeps her clothes on.
854
00:36:40,015 --> 00:36:43,310
Plan to laugh at something
the guy next to you says
855
00:36:43,352 --> 00:36:45,062
'cause I ain't vouching for Madge,
856
00:36:45,103 --> 00:36:47,523
though I hear she's a hell of a singer.
857
00:36:47,564 --> 00:36:49,441
Fill her up! You sure you don't... ?
858
00:36:49,483 --> 00:36:51,443
Fresh, remember?
859
00:36:51,485 --> 00:36:54,947
I'd work up a hot rendition of
"Swanee" if I were you, Madge.
860
00:37:24,560 --> 00:37:27,187
- Aah! Shit.
- Pop.
861
00:37:27,229 --> 00:37:28,981
- Jesus.
- What the hell are you doing here?
862
00:37:29,022 --> 00:37:31,859
- What does it look like?
- You have got to find a girl.
863
00:37:31,900 --> 00:37:35,237
- What time is it?
- 11:30.
864
00:37:35,279 --> 00:37:37,406
I checked downstairs already.
865
00:37:37,447 --> 00:37:38,991
We're probably clear for the night.
866
00:37:39,032 --> 00:37:40,951
They would've come by now.
867
00:37:40,993 --> 00:37:43,287
Okay.
868
00:37:43,328 --> 00:37:45,873
- Pop.
- Yeah?
869
00:37:45,914 --> 00:37:48,292
You want to get a drink?
870
00:37:48,333 --> 00:37:51,253
You remember the last
time we sat like this,
871
00:37:51,295 --> 00:37:54,089
you and me, a couple of
drinks, a couple of bats?
872
00:37:54,131 --> 00:37:56,717
- Nope.
- Yeah, me, either.
873
00:37:56,758 --> 00:37:58,677
Well, you have a life to live.
874
00:37:58,719 --> 00:38:00,262
We have to talk about the factory.
875
00:38:00,304 --> 00:38:02,139
- No, we don't.
- The place is a mess.
876
00:38:02,180 --> 00:38:04,349
- It's not a mess.
- Okay, it's not a mess.
877
00:38:04,391 --> 00:38:05,851
Well, it's a little bit of a mess.
878
00:38:05,893 --> 00:38:09,146
- How? How did it get this bad?
- I don't know.
879
00:38:09,187 --> 00:38:12,149
A year ago you were doing fine.
880
00:38:12,190 --> 00:38:14,401
You know, when I started this business,
881
00:38:14,443 --> 00:38:17,613
I knew it would do well.
I was a determined guy.
882
00:38:17,654 --> 00:38:20,324
I had a brain cell or two,
plus I didn't have a choice.
883
00:38:20,365 --> 00:38:21,992
Wasn't gonna sell pickles off a pushcart
884
00:38:22,034 --> 00:38:23,410
like my father did.
885
00:38:23,452 --> 00:38:26,705
But then it took off like a shot
886
00:38:26,747 --> 00:38:29,207
and now I feel like I've been
running a fucking marathon
887
00:38:29,249 --> 00:38:30,959
for 20 years.
888
00:38:31,001 --> 00:38:32,753
Next thing I know, I got loans,
889
00:38:32,794 --> 00:38:35,172
padded payrolls and your mother's books.
890
00:38:35,213 --> 00:38:37,841
The son of a bitch landlord is
threatening to triple the rent
891
00:38:37,883 --> 00:38:39,217
because he knows I can't move
892
00:38:39,259 --> 00:38:40,802
and you know what the real problem is?
893
00:38:40,844 --> 00:38:44,014
- You should've found a Roth.
- Should've found a Roth.
894
00:38:44,056 --> 00:38:46,183
Wasn't enough just
to put it on the sign.
895
00:38:46,224 --> 00:38:47,976
Where are your guys, Pop?
896
00:38:48,018 --> 00:38:50,520
Where's Carl, Izzie, Benny?
897
00:38:50,562 --> 00:38:53,231
Benny's gone. Left six months ago.
898
00:38:53,273 --> 00:38:54,667
Izzie's been dipping in and out lately.
899
00:38:54,691 --> 00:38:57,444
I don't trust Izzie. Carl's sick.
900
00:38:57,486 --> 00:38:59,446
He's technically still
on the payroll, but...
901
00:38:59,488 --> 00:39:03,241
Listen... I'm gonna stay.
902
00:39:03,283 --> 00:39:05,285
- Stay where?
- I'm gonna stay with the company.
903
00:39:05,327 --> 00:39:07,829
- Wait, wait a minute.
- Help get things back on track.
904
00:39:07,871 --> 00:39:09,748
Not forever. Understand?
905
00:39:09,790 --> 00:39:12,793
- But longer than I had intended to.
- No.
906
00:39:12,834 --> 00:39:15,170
We have to get this figured out.
907
00:39:15,212 --> 00:39:17,297
We need an accountant or
a shaman to fix those books
908
00:39:17,339 --> 00:39:19,299
and we have to take
care of the landlord.
909
00:39:19,341 --> 00:39:20,425
How are you gonna do that?
910
00:39:20,467 --> 00:39:23,095
- We're gonna buy the building.
- Ah!
911
00:39:23,136 --> 00:39:24,805
You got the crazy from your mother.
912
00:39:24,846 --> 00:39:27,641
Padded cell for two.
Visiting day will be nice.
913
00:39:27,683 --> 00:39:29,559
- We'll take out a loan.
- Another loan.
914
00:39:29,601 --> 00:39:31,770
A real loan from a bank.
915
00:39:31,812 --> 00:39:33,522
I can help you, Pop. You need me.
916
00:39:33,563 --> 00:39:36,274
And for all this white knight bullshit,
917
00:39:36,316 --> 00:39:37,818
I expect you want to be paid?
918
00:39:37,859 --> 00:39:39,361
You bet your ass I want to be paid.
919
00:39:39,403 --> 00:39:41,196
So you need me.
920
00:39:41,238 --> 00:39:44,116
Okay, yes.
921
00:39:44,157 --> 00:39:47,202
How do I know this
all isn't just a whim?
922
00:39:47,244 --> 00:39:51,039
How do I know you won't just
walk out when you're not happy?
923
00:39:51,081 --> 00:39:52,457
My name's Maisel, too, Pop.
924
00:39:52,499 --> 00:39:55,460
The Maisel name is on that building
925
00:39:55,502 --> 00:39:57,129
and it's gonna stay on that building.
926
00:39:57,170 --> 00:40:01,133
Listen, I want you to talk to Uncle Moe.
927
00:40:01,174 --> 00:40:04,594
My friend Archie, I kind of
hung him out to dry when I quit.
928
00:40:04,636 --> 00:40:06,556
I want you to tell Uncle
Moe to take care of him.
929
00:40:06,596 --> 00:40:08,265
He can't be fired.
930
00:40:08,306 --> 00:40:10,535
Now you want me to tell my
brother how to run his business?
931
00:40:10,559 --> 00:40:14,146
Archie's a good man. He
deserves his spot there.
932
00:40:14,187 --> 00:40:17,107
Okay. I do that for you and
in return you hire Manny back.
933
00:40:17,149 --> 00:40:20,402
- What? No.
- If Manny goes, his wife Gloria goes.
934
00:40:20,444 --> 00:40:23,697
Gloria is my best seamstress.
Without her, I'm sunk.
935
00:40:23,739 --> 00:40:25,282
And Pete... ?
936
00:40:25,323 --> 00:40:26,926
The schmuck playing
cards in the storeroom?
937
00:40:26,950 --> 00:40:28,302
His wife Bernice does
all my best embroidery.
938
00:40:28,326 --> 00:40:30,620
He went, she went.
939
00:40:30,662 --> 00:40:32,122
I need her back, too.
940
00:40:32,164 --> 00:40:34,041
Okay, Manny and Pete
can come back to work,
941
00:40:34,082 --> 00:40:35,584
but they have to fucking work.
942
00:40:35,625 --> 00:40:38,420
- Yeah. Good luck with that.
- So what? We have a deal?
943
00:40:38,462 --> 00:40:40,213
I'm back until things
are straightened out,
944
00:40:40,255 --> 00:40:41,465
until you're whole.
945
00:40:41,506 --> 00:40:43,300
Yeah.
946
00:40:43,341 --> 00:40:46,136
Remember, it's not permanent.
947
00:40:46,178 --> 00:40:48,388
- I am not your Roth.
- I know that.
948
00:40:48,430 --> 00:40:50,724
You're a Maisel.
949
00:40:54,478 --> 00:40:56,229
Jews come from all over the world.
950
00:40:56,271 --> 00:40:58,315
In my family alone,
my grandparents speak
951
00:40:58,356 --> 00:41:01,318
five different languages, which
means that I know how to say,
952
00:41:01,359 --> 00:41:04,780
"Why aren't you married?"
in five different languages.
953
00:41:04,821 --> 00:41:06,340
I got circumcised when
I was eight days old.
954
00:41:06,364 --> 00:41:08,408
Only one ticket left. Fuck it.
955
00:41:08,450 --> 00:41:10,786
Hey, bar guy.
956
00:41:10,827 --> 00:41:12,788
Are you okay?
957
00:41:12,829 --> 00:41:15,290
I fell off the stool
like I'm Dylan Thomas.
958
00:41:15,332 --> 00:41:16,958
Okay, you're up.
959
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:18,668
Great. How do I look?
960
00:41:18,710 --> 00:41:20,837
Hey. Get up. Manage shit.
961
00:41:20,879 --> 00:41:22,589
Sorry. Okay.
962
00:41:22,631 --> 00:41:24,311
Remember to wait for
the laughs completely.
963
00:41:24,341 --> 00:41:26,593
- You were rushing last week.
- I know. I'll remember.
964
00:41:26,635 --> 00:41:28,637
... money and a hand job.
965
00:41:28,678 --> 00:41:31,515
- Okay. Tits up.
- Tits up.
966
00:41:31,556 --> 00:41:34,226
Well, that's it for me tonight.
You've been a great audience.
967
00:41:36,269 --> 00:41:38,230
Everybody, you're not gonna believe it,
968
00:41:38,271 --> 00:41:39,940
but someone just walked in the door
969
00:41:39,981 --> 00:41:42,043
and there's no way he's
leaving without doing his thing.
970
00:41:42,067 --> 00:41:44,861
Jackie Vernon, get up here, man.
971
00:41:46,863 --> 00:41:49,324
Jackie Vernon!
972
00:41:49,366 --> 00:41:53,370
Let him hear it.
973
00:41:56,832 --> 00:42:00,001
Good evening, ladies
and gentlemen. Thank you.
974
00:42:00,043 --> 00:42:02,546
Tonight I'd like to
talk about rejections.
975
00:42:02,587 --> 00:42:06,383
My personal rejections
brought on a weight problem.
976
00:42:06,424 --> 00:42:08,760
Every time a girl
would refuse me a date,
977
00:42:08,802 --> 00:42:12,681
I'd eat a piece of Bavarian cream pie.
978
00:42:12,722 --> 00:42:16,226
One day I ate 238 pieces
of Bavarian cream pie.
979
00:42:16,268 --> 00:42:18,395
So close, and then he shows up.
980
00:42:18,436 --> 00:42:21,148
But don't worry. He's gonna
be really easy to follow.
981
00:42:21,189 --> 00:42:23,400
He's just super warming
the place up for you.
982
00:42:23,441 --> 00:42:25,026
Like he's doing you a favor.
983
00:42:25,068 --> 00:42:26,486
Thought you had to be somewhere.
984
00:42:26,528 --> 00:42:28,530
And miss Jackie Vernon? Not a chance.
985
00:42:28,572 --> 00:42:31,050
My doctor told me to cut out
all sugar and use saccharin.
986
00:42:31,074 --> 00:42:34,411
I used so much saccharin, I
developed artificial diabetes.
987
00:42:35,871 --> 00:42:37,581
Okay, that's it. I'll have a martini.
988
00:42:37,622 --> 00:42:39,332
We're out of drink tickets.
989
00:42:39,374 --> 00:42:41,293
I... I need something to eat, too.
990
00:42:41,334 --> 00:42:42,752
Oh, hot dogs. Two hot dogs.
991
00:42:42,794 --> 00:42:44,337
Pay him for the hot dogs.
992
00:42:44,379 --> 00:42:46,423
This is turning out to
be a very expensive gig.
993
00:42:46,464 --> 00:42:48,466
Well, at least you're not
wearing the same outfit.
994
00:42:48,508 --> 00:42:50,177
I should have seen this coming.
995
00:42:50,218 --> 00:42:51,970
This whole day has been weird.
996
00:42:52,012 --> 00:42:54,514
Joel decided to find me an apartment.
997
00:42:54,556 --> 00:42:57,225
Good. It's time that loser did
something other than his hair.
998
00:42:57,267 --> 00:42:59,436
My own apartment. I
never lived on my own.
999
00:42:59,477 --> 00:43:01,646
I went from my parents, to college,
1000
00:43:01,688 --> 00:43:03,398
back to my parents, to Joel.
1001
00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:05,567
I feel like I've been living
alone since I was nine.
1002
00:43:05,609 --> 00:43:07,319
I'm a little scared.
1003
00:43:07,360 --> 00:43:09,571
I mean, what happens
when the toilet clogs?
1004
00:43:09,613 --> 00:43:12,073
You get a plunger and
plunge all the shit out.
1005
00:43:12,115 --> 00:43:13,450
Ugh!
1006
00:43:13,491 --> 00:43:15,160
You are gonna die on your own.
1007
00:43:15,202 --> 00:43:17,412
They're gonna find you
on the floor half eaten
1008
00:43:17,454 --> 00:43:19,831
by your feral children, still
clutching the fucking plunger.
1009
00:43:19,873 --> 00:43:21,249
Hey, new subject.
1010
00:43:21,291 --> 00:43:23,293
Got a telegram from my parents.
1011
00:43:23,335 --> 00:43:24,878
Oh. They're coming home?
1012
00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:26,421
They're coming home.
1013
00:43:26,463 --> 00:43:28,298
We have to figure out
your living situation.
1014
00:43:28,340 --> 00:43:30,217
Hey, you were the one who was scared.
1015
00:43:30,258 --> 00:43:32,302
I'm fine going back to my apartment.
1016
00:43:32,344 --> 00:43:34,304
Uh-uh.
1017
00:43:34,346 --> 00:43:36,389
If you are shy, timid and meek,
1018
00:43:36,431 --> 00:43:38,433
you shouldn't be too worried about it
1019
00:43:38,475 --> 00:43:40,310
because the meek will inherit the earth.
1020
00:43:40,352 --> 00:43:42,395
They wouldn't have
the nerve to refuse it.
1021
00:43:42,437 --> 00:43:44,231
Oh, come on.
1022
00:43:44,272 --> 00:43:45,607
What's your problem?
1023
00:43:45,649 --> 00:43:47,484
I have mustard on my dress.
1024
00:43:47,525 --> 00:43:49,277
Oh, yeah, right on your tit.
1025
00:43:49,319 --> 00:43:51,029
It's not working.
1026
00:43:51,071 --> 00:43:52,697
Of course not. That's tequila.
1027
00:43:52,739 --> 00:43:54,449
- Try gin.
- Look at me.
1028
00:43:54,491 --> 00:43:57,077
Look at my dress. It's
all wrinkled and stained.
1029
00:43:57,118 --> 00:43:59,037
I told you I shouldn't sit down.
1030
00:43:59,079 --> 00:44:01,539
- I didn't tell you to sit down.
- You motioned.
1031
00:44:01,581 --> 00:44:04,251
I'm drunk. I was probably
grabbing the air for balance.
1032
00:44:04,292 --> 00:44:06,378
How am I going to go up there like this?
1033
00:44:06,419 --> 00:44:08,255
Oh, don't worry. This
guy's never getting off.
1034
00:44:08,296 --> 00:44:10,507
I'm wrinkled, I'm stained.
1035
00:44:10,548 --> 00:44:12,759
- Plus...
- Plus what?
1036
00:44:12,801 --> 00:44:16,137
Well... you're a little pungent.
1037
00:44:16,179 --> 00:44:17,806
I am not pungent.
1038
00:44:17,847 --> 00:44:19,891
I am downwind. I kind of know.
1039
00:44:19,933 --> 00:44:21,601
Never. Never.
1040
00:44:21,643 --> 00:44:23,478
I have never in my life been...
1041
00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:25,063
What is that?
1042
00:44:25,105 --> 00:44:26,940
- That's you.
- It's...
1043
00:44:26,982 --> 00:44:30,944
No, that's...
1044
00:44:30,986 --> 00:44:32,487
Well, what do you expect?
1045
00:44:32,529 --> 00:44:34,531
I sweat a little before I go on,
1046
00:44:34,572 --> 00:44:36,616
which has happened four
times so far tonight.
1047
00:44:36,658 --> 00:44:39,869
Well, folks, I don't want
you to get excited or panicky,
1048
00:44:39,911 --> 00:44:41,913
but I just finished.
1049
00:44:41,955 --> 00:44:43,581
How about a hand for the suit?
1050
00:44:43,623 --> 00:44:45,625
Hey, he's done. Get ready.
1051
00:44:45,667 --> 00:44:48,169
Shit, shit, shit, shit.
1052
00:44:49,629 --> 00:44:53,091
The master, ladies and gentlemen.
1053
00:44:56,720 --> 00:44:58,471
Who could possibly follow him, huh?
1054
00:44:58,513 --> 00:45:00,056
Well, you're about to find out.
1055
00:45:00,098 --> 00:45:01,808
They're leaving.
1056
00:45:01,850 --> 00:45:03,768
- They smelled me.
- Just get up there.
1057
00:45:03,810 --> 00:45:05,937
Hey, where you going?
Sit down. Sit back down.
1058
00:45:05,979 --> 00:45:08,398
Hey, the best is yet to
come. The show is not over.
1059
00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:10,167
- Sit your ass back down!
- Ladies and gentlemen,
1060
00:45:10,191 --> 00:45:12,527
welcome an adorable lady who,
1061
00:45:12,569 --> 00:45:15,822
if she can't make you laugh,
can at least make you dinner.
1062
00:45:15,864 --> 00:45:17,907
Mrs. My-zell.
1063
00:45:17,949 --> 00:45:19,701
Maisel, asshole. Maisel!
1064
00:45:19,743 --> 00:45:22,120
- Tits up.
- Arms down.
1065
00:45:28,126 --> 00:45:30,378
- Hey, where's the light?
- The light guy left.
1066
00:45:30,420 --> 00:45:32,881
What the fuck? She needs a spot.
1067
00:45:32,922 --> 00:45:34,591
Uh, good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
1068
00:45:34,632 --> 00:45:37,594
I'm Mrs. Maisel.
1069
00:45:37,635 --> 00:45:39,012
Follow my voice!
1070
00:45:40,472 --> 00:45:42,432
Uh, it's... it's so nice to be here.
1071
00:45:42,474 --> 00:45:44,017
It's nice of you to stay.
1072
00:45:44,059 --> 00:45:48,313
I was supposed to go on
earlier, a lot earlier,
1073
00:45:48,355 --> 00:45:50,357
- before I looked like this.
- Yeah.
1074
00:45:50,398 --> 00:45:53,610
Anyone have a comb?
1075
00:45:53,651 --> 00:45:55,362
Women would get that
1076
00:45:55,403 --> 00:45:58,448
because there's... there's
no way a comb could fix this.
1077
00:45:58,490 --> 00:46:00,283
A bomb would help.
1078
00:46:00,325 --> 00:46:02,535
Group blindness would work wonders.
1079
00:46:02,577 --> 00:46:05,038
Anyhow, it wasn't that great a joke.
1080
00:46:05,080 --> 00:46:06,623
Or even a joke.
1081
00:46:06,664 --> 00:46:08,708
Uh, an amusing observation, perhaps.
1082
00:46:08,750 --> 00:46:10,627
A wry comment, if you will.
1083
00:46:10,668 --> 00:46:14,589
I'm sorry. I feel so
unfocused right now.
1084
00:46:14,631 --> 00:46:16,633
I was really in the pocket earlier,
1085
00:46:16,674 --> 00:46:19,052
ready, fresh.
1086
00:46:19,094 --> 00:46:21,221
Then I had a drink, and...
1087
00:46:21,262 --> 00:46:23,598
This is mustard.
1088
00:46:23,640 --> 00:46:25,725
Here.
1089
00:46:25,767 --> 00:46:31,314
As big a mess as my dress
is now, my life is worse.
1090
00:46:31,356 --> 00:46:33,066
It's changing so fast.
1091
00:46:33,108 --> 00:46:35,235
I was married, I'm not married.
1092
00:46:35,276 --> 00:46:37,338
I'm going to have to live
alone with my two children.
1093
00:46:37,362 --> 00:46:38,988
It's all going to be up to me
1094
00:46:39,030 --> 00:46:42,659
to take care of them,
of myself, of the toilet.
1095
00:46:42,700 --> 00:46:45,203
So many goals I had as a young woman.
1096
00:46:45,245 --> 00:46:47,247
Plunging was never one of 'em.
1097
00:46:47,288 --> 00:46:50,417
I don't want my own apartment.
1098
00:46:52,377 --> 00:46:55,922
Thanks, pal.
1099
00:46:55,964 --> 00:46:59,092
I don't want my own apartment.
1100
00:46:59,134 --> 00:47:03,763
I... I don't feel ready,
mentally, to have my own keys,
1101
00:47:03,805 --> 00:47:06,891
my own plumbing, my own
angry Ukrainian super.
1102
00:47:06,933 --> 00:47:09,686
I don't feel prepared
1103
00:47:09,727 --> 00:47:12,564
to take on that kind
of responsibility alone.
1104
00:47:12,605 --> 00:47:17,235
The only thing I feel
prepared to take on, right now,
1105
00:47:17,277 --> 00:47:19,779
at this very minute,
1106
00:47:19,821 --> 00:47:22,157
is those fucking losers at the bar.
1107
00:47:22,198 --> 00:47:24,868
I mean, look at them.
1108
00:47:24,909 --> 00:47:28,079
The "before" picture in a Charles Atlas
1109
00:47:28,121 --> 00:47:30,707
male virility enhancement ad,
1110
00:47:30,748 --> 00:47:34,127
just standing there,
waiting for me to bomb.
1111
00:47:34,169 --> 00:47:36,004
It's midnight on a Tuesday
1112
00:47:36,045 --> 00:47:37,589
and the highlight of their evening
1113
00:47:37,630 --> 00:47:40,258
is the possibility of
seeing a chick fail.
1114
00:47:41,718 --> 00:47:44,596
Am I supposed to find them intimidating?
1115
00:47:44,637 --> 00:47:46,973
'Cause... 'cause all
I see is a lineup of men
1116
00:47:47,015 --> 00:47:49,642
who had to go into
comedy just to get laid.
1117
00:47:49,684 --> 00:47:51,644
Seriously.
1118
00:47:51,686 --> 00:47:54,606
We know that if, say, Eugene over there,
1119
00:47:54,647 --> 00:47:58,276
came up to you at a
bar in his big-boy suit,
1120
00:47:58,318 --> 00:48:00,487
with his tiny baby hands,
1121
00:48:00,528 --> 00:48:02,489
and no opening line pre-written for him,
1122
00:48:02,530 --> 00:48:03,907
he'd be sent crawling home alone
1123
00:48:03,948 --> 00:48:07,035
to whack off in his onesie.
1124
00:48:07,076 --> 00:48:08,703
And Stan...
1125
00:48:08,745 --> 00:48:11,998
- Ooh!
- ... who has a voice that bored a thousand ships
1126
00:48:12,040 --> 00:48:13,500
into sinking themselves.
1127
00:48:13,541 --> 00:48:15,627
If he couldn't say to
some unwitting female,
1128
00:48:15,668 --> 00:48:18,421
"I got a gig downtown in
an hour," he'd have to say,
1129
00:48:18,463 --> 00:48:20,381
"My mother should be asleep by now."
1130
00:48:20,423 --> 00:48:24,052
All comics are comics
1131
00:48:24,093 --> 00:48:26,030
'cause something in their
lives went horribly wrong.
1132
00:48:26,054 --> 00:48:27,722
Something went to shit.
1133
00:48:27,764 --> 00:48:30,308
Either their hairline, Eugene.
1134
00:48:30,350 --> 00:48:33,937
Or their personal lives. Me. And Stan.
1135
00:48:33,978 --> 00:48:36,731
I... I don't even need to know
the details, but looking at Stan,
1136
00:48:36,773 --> 00:48:38,191
you just want to apologize
1137
00:48:38,233 --> 00:48:40,610
and tell him everything's gonna be okay,
1138
00:48:40,652 --> 00:48:43,321
which it won't... 'cause it's Stan.
1139
00:48:43,363 --> 00:48:47,116
But men, those over
there, and men in general,
1140
00:48:47,158 --> 00:48:49,953
think that they are the only
ones who get to use comedy
1141
00:48:49,994 --> 00:48:52,747
to close up those holes in their soul.
1142
00:48:52,789 --> 00:48:55,208
They run around telling
everyone that women aren't funny,
1143
00:48:55,250 --> 00:48:57,835
only men are funny.
1144
00:48:57,877 --> 00:49:00,922
Sorry. Give me a minute.
God, this thing is heavy.
1145
00:49:00,964 --> 00:49:04,259
- Okay, go ahead.
- Now, think about this.
1146
00:49:04,300 --> 00:49:09,055
Comedy is fueled by oppression,
1147
00:49:09,097 --> 00:49:12,767
by the lack of power,
1148
00:49:12,809 --> 00:49:16,145
by sadness and disappointment,
1149
00:49:16,187 --> 00:49:18,481
by abandonment
1150
00:49:18,523 --> 00:49:21,317
and humiliation.
1151
00:49:21,359 --> 00:49:24,362
Now, who the hell does that
describe more than women?
1152
00:49:24,404 --> 00:49:26,322
Judging by those standards,
1153
00:49:26,364 --> 00:49:29,450
only women should be funny. And Stan.
1154
00:49:34,706 --> 00:49:37,000
Speaking of things that
women and Stan have in common,
1155
00:49:37,041 --> 00:49:38,376
have you heard this term
1156
00:49:38,418 --> 00:49:41,254
"child bearing hips"?
1157
00:49:41,296 --> 00:49:42,880
You've been a great audience, everyone.
1158
00:49:42,922 --> 00:49:46,759
I'm Mrs. Maisel. Thank you. Good night.
1159
00:49:46,801 --> 00:49:48,886
On the way out, everyone
give the boys a hug.
1160
00:49:48,928 --> 00:49:52,515
Or better yet, some fresh material.
1161
00:49:52,557 --> 00:49:54,976
Thank you.
1162
00:49:57,770 --> 00:49:59,731
- Thank you.
- Shit, lady!
1163
00:49:59,772 --> 00:50:01,441
You should stink more often.
1164
00:50:01,482 --> 00:50:02,942
What the hell was that?
1165
00:50:02,984 --> 00:50:05,445
Those are two of my best comics
you shit all over tonight.
1166
00:50:05,486 --> 00:50:06,863
Well, they started it.
1167
00:50:06,904 --> 00:50:08,740
How am I supposed to get them back here
1168
00:50:08,781 --> 00:50:10,843
after I let some snot-nosed
chick-comic take them down
1169
00:50:10,867 --> 00:50:12,493
in front of a room full of people?
1170
00:50:12,535 --> 00:50:14,805
- It wasn't really full.
- A lot of them had left already.
1171
00:50:14,829 --> 00:50:16,956
Doesn't matter! You
don't come into my club
1172
00:50:16,998 --> 00:50:18,833
and talk like that to my best earners.
1173
00:50:18,875 --> 00:50:20,293
People come in to see those guys.
1174
00:50:20,335 --> 00:50:21,753
Nobody comes in to see you
1175
00:50:21,794 --> 00:50:23,755
'cause nobody knows
who the fuck you are!
1176
00:50:23,796 --> 00:50:25,798
Now here, take your
money and get out of here
1177
00:50:25,840 --> 00:50:28,176
before I decide never to
book you in this place again.
1178
00:50:31,554 --> 00:50:35,183
- Our first gig!
- Yeah!
1179
00:50:48,946 --> 00:50:50,573
- Santé.
- Santé.
1180
00:50:53,701 --> 00:50:57,622
Okay, boys, and the last round is on me.
1181
00:51:36,953 --> 00:51:40,081
All set.
1182
00:51:40,123 --> 00:51:42,125
Oh, monsieur Weissman.
1183
00:51:50,133 --> 00:51:52,260
Good-bye, Marie. Au revoir.
1184
00:51:54,679 --> 00:51:55,680
Uh-huh.
1185
00:51:58,808 --> 00:52:01,227
I appreciated the extra towels.
1186
00:52:21,080 --> 00:52:23,541
Au revoir, Rose!
1187
00:52:28,629 --> 00:52:31,257
Bye-bye.
1188
00:52:31,299 --> 00:52:33,050
Bye-bye.
1189
00:52:33,092 --> 00:52:36,471
Bye-bye.
1190
00:52:47,231 --> 00:52:49,317
Zelda, the dean of admissions
1191
00:52:49,358 --> 00:52:50,818
will be coming for dinner tonight.
1192
00:52:50,860 --> 00:52:52,403
He heard about our trip to France
1193
00:52:52,445 --> 00:52:54,030
and wants to have something French.
1194
00:52:54,071 --> 00:52:55,907
- What can you make that's French?
- Nothing.
1195
00:52:55,948 --> 00:52:58,201
What can you make that we
can say is French, isn't,
1196
00:52:58,242 --> 00:52:59,619
- but he'll never know?
- Goulash.
1197
00:52:59,660 --> 00:53:01,871
Perfect.
1198
00:53:01,913 --> 00:53:03,831
I'm done.
1199
00:53:03,873 --> 00:53:05,792
He ate his breakfast.
How did that happen?
1200
00:53:05,833 --> 00:53:07,335
I put chocolate chips in his eggs.
1201
00:53:07,376 --> 00:53:09,420
You're a genius. It's nice
to have you home, Mama.
1202
00:53:09,462 --> 00:53:11,756
Miriam, will you be home for dinner?
1203
00:53:11,798 --> 00:53:13,233
We're having authentic French goulash.
1204
00:53:13,257 --> 00:53:14,592
I'm pulling a double shift today.
1205
00:53:14,634 --> 00:53:17,220
Well, we haven't seen much
of you since we got back.
1206
00:53:17,261 --> 00:53:19,239
Never heard what you were
up to while we were gone.
1207
00:53:19,263 --> 00:53:22,934
I have five to eight minutes.
Want to give me the highlights?
1208
00:53:22,975 --> 00:53:26,854
Well, I just...
1209
00:53:26,896 --> 00:53:29,482
hung out. I hung out.
1210
00:53:29,524 --> 00:53:32,985
Okay. Good talk. I'll be home at 6:00.
1211
00:53:35,071 --> 00:53:36,531
See you later, Mama.
1212
00:53:38,533 --> 00:53:41,369
- So, you'll meet me at 10:00?
- Meet you where?
1213
00:53:41,410 --> 00:53:43,371
- My office.
- At Columbia?
1214
00:53:43,412 --> 00:53:46,457
Of course. We had this
discussion, don't you remember?
1215
00:53:46,499 --> 00:53:48,084
I have absolutely no memory of this.
1216
00:53:48,125 --> 00:53:51,212
They don't let women audit
the art history classes
1217
00:53:51,254 --> 00:53:52,630
unless they're grad students.
1218
00:53:52,672 --> 00:53:54,552
However, I talked to the
head of the department,
1219
00:53:54,590 --> 00:53:56,217
and he said he would make an exception
1220
00:53:56,259 --> 00:53:58,219
but wanted to know what classes.
1221
00:53:58,261 --> 00:54:00,137
What classes what?
1222
00:54:00,179 --> 00:54:01,281
What classes you wanted to audit.
1223
00:54:01,305 --> 00:54:02,640
For God's sake, keep up, woman.
1224
00:54:02,682 --> 00:54:06,352
- Are you serious?
- I told him we'd come by at 10:15.
1225
00:54:06,394 --> 00:54:08,229
His office is right next to mine,
1226
00:54:08,271 --> 00:54:10,940
but I was taking into account
your slow pace in those heels.
1227
00:54:10,982 --> 00:54:13,150
So, yes?
1228
00:54:13,192 --> 00:54:14,318
- Yes.
- Good.
1229
00:54:14,360 --> 00:54:17,822
See you then.
1230
00:54:17,864 --> 00:54:21,158
Oh, and I signed us up for
dance classes, Arthur Murray.
1231
00:54:21,200 --> 00:54:23,661
We can't be caught out again
like that night on the Seine.
1232
00:54:23,703 --> 00:54:26,706
I mean, we were adorable, but
our technique was terrible.
1233
00:54:30,126 --> 00:54:33,963
Zelda, we're gonna serve coq
au vin tonight. I'll help.
1234
00:54:34,005 --> 00:54:36,966
What? What did you say?
Did you say you'll help?
1235
00:54:37,008 --> 00:54:38,968
Help me cook? Are you feeling all right?
1236
00:54:39,010 --> 00:54:40,428
Should I call a doctor?
1237
00:55:24,764 --> 00:55:27,099
Fuck.
1238
00:55:30,000 --> 00:55:35,000
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
93565
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