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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:55,700 BRINK OF LIFE 2 00:01:18,700 --> 00:01:22,600 Text: www.broadcasttext.com 3 00:01:35,700 --> 00:01:41,500 CASUALTY ADMISSION AND ISOLATION WARD 4 00:02:32,700 --> 00:02:34,900 You may come in now. 5 00:02:54,100 --> 00:02:59,200 I'm Schoolmaster Ellius. I spoke to Dr Karlsson on the phone. 6 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:01,900 He told me to phone for an ambulance and come here. 7 00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:05,500 - Was it your wife who was bleeding? - Yes. 8 00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:10,900 - Nurse Mari. - Mrs Ellius. 9 00:03:11,100 --> 00:03:13,700 - How are you feeling? - I'm in pain. 10 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:18,700 - Does it feel like contractions? - It hurts, then it stops... 11 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:23,400 ...then it hurts again and bleeds. - The doctor will see you soon. 12 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:26,100 - You may sit down and wait. - Thank you. 13 00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:29,900 Be a brave girl, now, and everything will be fine. 14 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:33,000 I'll stay for now, so I'm here if you need me. 15 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:38,700 Just remember, Cissi. Ellius expects his wife to do her duty. 16 00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:43,600 Do you really want this baby, Anders? I need to know. 17 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:47,900 Finally, I need to know. I didn't want to before, but now I need to. 18 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:54,700 There is nothing you and I can do. The doctors will do all they can. 19 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:58,800 If it's humanly possible to save the baby, it will be saved. 20 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:01,900 Just hand yourself over to the doctors. 21 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:05,100 A large parcel with a small one inside. 22 00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:25,500 Stay calm, Cissi. Stay calm, and everything will be fine. 23 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:45,400 I just need to know your date of birth. 24 00:04:45,500 --> 00:04:47,800 March 201930. 25 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:50,600 Your full name and maiden name. 26 00:04:50,700 --> 00:04:54,500 Kristina Cecilia Ellius, maiden name Lindgren. 27 00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:58,300 - Address and telephone number? - 23 Cederdalsgatan. 28 00:04:58,500 --> 00:05:00,700 201879. 29 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:05,400 - And what is your occupation? - I work at the Agency for Education. 30 00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:08,300 You may write "Secretary". 31 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:13,300 When was the first day of your last period? 32 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:17,700 I can't remember, Nurse. When the doctor said we had to hurry... 33 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:22,300 The doctor will see you as soon as he can. We have to admit you first. 34 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,200 June 27. 35 00:05:37,300 --> 00:05:42,000 - So you are two months pregnant? - Yes. 36 00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:51,400 The doctor is on his way. Call for me if you need me. 37 00:06:27,700 --> 00:06:31,300 Nurse! Nurse... 38 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:33,300 Nurse! 39 00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:36,100 It's leaving me! 40 00:06:50,500 --> 00:06:54,100 - How is it, doctor? - We will give you an injection now. 41 00:06:54,300 --> 00:06:58,700 I mean... how is the baby? 42 00:07:02,300 --> 00:07:04,600 I want to know exactly. 43 00:07:07,300 --> 00:07:10,300 But I already know. 44 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:12,800 It has left me. 45 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:16,800 Yes. Unfortunately. 46 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:20,900 But it would have gone wrong even if you had come in earlier. 47 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:24,500 Something failed from the start. 48 00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:29,500 I see. 49 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:35,000 Could you see what it would have been? 50 00:07:35,100 --> 00:07:39,100 No, you can't tell. 51 00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:43,900 Now you'll sleep, Mrs Ellius, while we perform a curettage. 52 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:46,700 To clean everything up for the next time. 53 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:50,400 I don't think there will be a next... 54 00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:34,500 The poor thing is in pain. 55 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:36,900 I wonder if she knows yet. 56 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:41,700 Don't feel sorry for her. She has it made. 57 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:04,100 Oh, dear... What are we going to do with her? 58 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:20,300 Let's move down a little. 59 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:37,900 She's still affected by the anaesthetics. 60 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:45,500 Good morning, Mrs Ellius. I am Nurse Brita. 61 00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:51,200 We've performed the curettage. You might feel nauseous for a while. 62 00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:54,400 It was wrong from the start. 63 00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:57,300 There should never have been a baby. 64 00:09:57,500 --> 00:10:00,000 Don't say anything - I already know. 65 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:04,700 Don't try to comfort me, I don't need it right now. 66 00:10:04,900 --> 00:10:10,000 But I have to say it. I have to say it now that I see it clearly. 67 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:13,600 I have never seen anything so clearly in my life. 68 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:17,200 This baby was not wanted. 69 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:19,800 Its father did not want it. 70 00:10:19,900 --> 00:10:23,600 Its mother was not strong enough to love it on her own. 71 00:10:23,700 --> 00:10:29,900 Therefore it could not be born, merely flushed away in the drain. 72 00:10:30,100 --> 00:10:34,900 Or put in a jar for scientific purposes. 73 00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:40,200 I have heard how it's done. 74 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:43,800 You have flushed away what would have been my child. 75 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:47,900 I deserved it, for I wasn't strong enough. 76 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:51,400 I didn't love it enough. 77 00:10:52,100 --> 00:10:55,800 You can't leave, Nurse. You must listen to me. 78 00:10:55,900 --> 00:10:59,500 I never usually speak, but now I have to speak. 79 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:06,200 I don't feel any nausea, only a tremendous clarity. 80 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:12,100 I have always known it. 81 00:11:12,300 --> 00:11:15,700 Known that I wouldn't be good enough. 82 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:19,500 Neither as a wife nor a mother. 83 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:23,700 Some people are predestined never to be good enough. 84 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:28,100 Don't you think so, Nurse? 85 00:11:28,300 --> 00:11:31,900 And they know it from the start. 86 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:38,700 I didn't see it as clearly then as I do now. 87 00:11:38,900 --> 00:11:42,400 Now it feels as if I have always known. 88 00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:48,100 When I found out I was pregnant I could not be happy. 89 00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:55,000 Deep inside something said: "This baby will never be born." 90 00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:59,100 I knew Anders didn't love me. 91 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:04,500 He never told me, of course. He would never say such a thing. 92 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:07,400 But I saw it in his eyes. 93 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:12,800 I saw it in his eyes when I told him we were having a baby. 94 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:22,300 It was nothing. It can't be anything. 95 00:12:22,500 --> 00:12:27,400 This is over now. And the grief won't kill me either. 96 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:34,100 I will eat, laugh and sleep again. I have slept and laughed already. 97 00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:38,300 Everyone will be so nice to me now. Flowers and books. 98 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:41,000 I am just that type, you see. 99 00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:46,700 I have my friends and my work, and all the beautiful things. 100 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:49,500 I make such beautiful embroideries. 101 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:56,000 All of that will come back to me once I get out of here. 102 00:12:56,100 --> 00:12:59,500 In here everything is different. I can feel it. 103 00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:04,300 You act differently in here. 104 00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:09,600 Even I. The poor little scared Cecilia Ellius. 105 00:13:09,700 --> 00:13:13,600 Maybe not only wombs are forced open here- 106 00:13:13,700 --> 00:13:17,800 - but the entire person. 107 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:21,800 I will never forget this moment. 108 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:27,500 This close, you see... I will never be this close to life again. 109 00:13:27,700 --> 00:13:33,500 At least it has gone through my hands, through my womb. 110 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:35,900 But like water. 111 00:13:36,100 --> 00:13:38,000 Like water. 112 00:13:38,100 --> 00:13:43,000 Not leaving any trace behind. 113 00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:06,900 My mum used to do this to me. It may not help, but it feels good. 114 00:15:08,900 --> 00:15:12,800 My mother did the same. It does feel good. 115 00:15:12,900 --> 00:15:16,200 - Is that better? - Much better. 116 00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:20,600 I suppose it's the effect of the anaesthetics. 117 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:22,900 I talked a lot. 118 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:25,200 How did I end up in this bed? 119 00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:30,600 - You were like a lifeless doll. - Lifeless doll? 120 00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:35,500 - I shouldn't be so informal. - Why not? 121 00:15:35,700 --> 00:15:38,900 - My name is Cecilia. - I'm Stina. 122 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:41,100 And that's Hj�rdis over there. 123 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,900 Your husband will visit you soon. 124 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:49,400 Visitors aren't allowed at daytime, but Nurse Brita made an exception. 125 00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:54,500 Hj�rdis and I can leave the room if you like. We can both walk. 126 00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:57,500 That won't be necessary. 127 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:05,800 If only I could cry. 128 00:16:05,900 --> 00:16:09,500 You have already been crying, but while you were sleeping. 129 00:16:09,700 --> 00:16:14,600 You sat up in bed and cried your eyes out. I felt so sorry for you. 130 00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:18,200 A lot of things have happened without me knowing. 131 00:16:18,300 --> 00:16:22,800 But still I feel as if I have always known it. 132 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:27,500 - Known what? - That the baby wouldn't make it. 133 00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:31,500 It may not be that unusual when it's your first. 134 00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:37,500 My mum had it like that the first time, but then it was all fine. 135 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:40,900 She practically danced them out. She had seven in nine years. 136 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,200 I won't have another one. 137 00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:54,300 - How are you feeling, Mrs Ellius? - Much better, thanks. 138 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:56,700 Schoolmaster Ellius will be here any moment. 139 00:16:56,900 --> 00:17:02,400 - How long will I have to stay here? - Three, four days, I suppose. 140 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:06,300 Nurse Brita? The nappies are done now. 141 00:17:06,500 --> 00:17:10,800 We should postpone your delivery so that you can do all our linen. 142 00:17:10,900 --> 00:17:14,200 But it's against the rules. The patients cannot work. 143 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:20,200 I must keep busy. This boy who won't come out is getting on my nerves. 144 00:17:20,300 --> 00:17:24,100 - Let's call it therapy, then. - That sounds grand. 145 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:27,700 It's to make sure you don't start climbing the curtains. 146 00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:32,600 - They would never hold my weight. - That's what I was afraid of. 147 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:39,300 - What can we get for Mrs Ellius? - Nothing, thank you. 148 00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:42,800 - Oh yes, some tea or soup. - Thank you. 149 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,200 - He's here. - Your husband is already here. 150 00:17:45,300 --> 00:17:47,900 Please put the screen up, Nurse Maud. 151 00:17:51,100 --> 00:17:53,800 - Good afternoon. - Good afternoon. 152 00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:07,100 Thank you. 153 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:12,900 - How kind of you. - Not kind, Cissi. 154 00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:16,900 - Is it not kind? - You talk as if to a stranger. 155 00:18:17,100 --> 00:18:20,900 Is that not what you are? You've always been kind to me. 156 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,500 Like a stranger. Someone at a distance. 157 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:26,600 Don't argue. Let me say what I want. 158 00:18:26,700 --> 00:18:29,900 I can only say it here, in this moment. 159 00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:33,700 Thank you, Nurse. 160 00:18:33,900 --> 00:18:37,900 - Won't you have some tea? - I'll try. 161 00:18:39,700 --> 00:18:43,700 I won't argue with you. Say what you have to say. 162 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:47,300 - But don't strain yourself. - I wanted to say... 163 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:51,300 ...that I know you don't love me. - Shouldn't this wait... 164 00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:55,900 - You weren't happy about the baby. - You are tired and upset. 165 00:18:56,000 --> 00:19:02,000 - Let's be sensible now. - I've always done the sensible thing. 166 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:06,900 - lf we had screamed just once... - Cecilia, I beg you... 167 00:19:11,100 --> 00:19:15,000 You may have believed that you loved me once. 168 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:21,600 Then we got married, and you were too kind to admit that it was a mistake. 169 00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:26,000 When did you realise that it was a mistake, if I may ask? 170 00:19:26,100 --> 00:19:27,600 Yesterday. 171 00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:31,700 I walked up the stairs, and blood was pouring out of me. 172 00:19:31,900 --> 00:19:36,500 I was afraid. I turned around to look at you. 173 00:19:36,700 --> 00:19:40,600 - I saw the truth in your eyes. - Well... 174 00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:43,300 What did the truth tell you? 175 00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:47,800 It said: "I don't love you. Our marriage was a mistake." 176 00:19:47,900 --> 00:19:53,700 - "This baby should not be born." - I have never suggested that. 177 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:58,500 - You can't deny it. - Yes I can. I thoroughly deny it. 178 00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:01,200 I... 179 00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:06,100 I might not have been as happy as an expectant father should be. 180 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:11,300 I worried about you. But also about myself. 181 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:15,000 I worried about us, Cissi. 182 00:20:15,100 --> 00:20:21,100 We were supposed to wait until I had finished my thesis. 183 00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:24,700 The death of our child is not my fault. 184 00:20:27,700 --> 00:20:30,100 Dearest Cissi... 185 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:35,300 Don't we have enough of a struggle without assuming that guilt too? 186 00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:41,100 Were you as happy as you should have been? 187 00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,800 Were you not crying in the evenings? 188 00:20:43,900 --> 00:20:46,700 It was hard to know if I should be happy. 189 00:20:46,900 --> 00:20:50,700 I was happy. Secretly I was happy. 190 00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:53,300 At times I was full of joy. 191 00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:57,900 I thought: "I'm having a baby." But I never dared to show it. 192 00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:01,300 Were you afraid that I wouldn't agree? 193 00:21:01,500 --> 00:21:06,200 Or did you not dare to show your joy for fear that it might all go wrong? 194 00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:12,300 I'm sorry. 195 00:21:12,500 --> 00:21:14,500 I'm so clumsy. 196 00:21:17,500 --> 00:21:21,300 You don't love me. That's all. 197 00:21:21,500 --> 00:21:27,900 I'm a disappointment and a pain. Not what you had hoped for. 198 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:31,500 I couldn't even bear you a child. 199 00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:37,200 Can't you see what a terrible confirmation of my uselessness it is? 200 00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:40,700 I must set you free. I want you to be happy. 201 00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:45,900 You want me to be happy, but what about yourself? 202 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:50,200 I will be happy if I know that you are happy. 203 00:21:50,300 --> 00:21:54,900 I want to go away, Anders. 204 00:21:55,100 --> 00:22:00,400 It's what I've always wanted. I am not a strong person. 205 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:03,700 I'm not suited to life. 206 00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:08,100 At least I'm not suited to marriage. 207 00:22:10,500 --> 00:22:15,500 Do you mean to tell me that you wish for our marriage to be dissolved? 208 00:22:19,300 --> 00:22:22,700 I want to set you free, Anders. 209 00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:24,900 I think I've known it for a long time. 210 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:29,300 But I can see it more clearly after what happened last night. 211 00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:32,400 And it's easier to do this. 212 00:22:35,100 --> 00:22:39,200 But all we've built together... Everything at home. 213 00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:43,700 - Our furniture and books... - Leave the worldly goods be. 214 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:46,100 Leave them for later. 215 00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:48,600 And later? What happens later? 216 00:22:48,700 --> 00:22:51,500 You have to give me time. 217 00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:55,200 - Should I not come here again? - It's better that way. 218 00:22:55,300 --> 00:23:00,500 - Maybe I should take these back too. - Let me keep them. Please. 219 00:23:00,700 --> 00:23:04,600 - Cissi... - Go now, Anders. Go. 220 00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:13,600 I will take the liberty to call the nurse and enquire about your health. 221 00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:18,300 - That's very kind of you. - You know very well that I don't... 222 00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:39,800 - Should I leave your tea here? - No, thank you. 223 00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:02,800 I'm Dr Thylenius. I'd like to ask some questions. 224 00:24:02,900 --> 00:24:07,300 Have you been healthy before, or have you ever been hospitalised? 225 00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:09,900 I have never been to hospital before. 226 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,900 But as a young girl I had a heart problem. 227 00:24:13,100 --> 00:24:15,100 Then we'd better listen to it. 228 00:24:16,500 --> 00:24:18,200 That's good, thank you. 229 00:24:23,300 --> 00:24:25,100 No, nothing. 230 00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:31,800 When did you have your first period? 231 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,500 Not until I was sixteen. 232 00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:37,600 - Do you have any other children? - No. 233 00:24:37,700 --> 00:24:42,100 - Have you had a miscarriage before? - No. 234 00:24:42,300 --> 00:24:46,000 Have you ever had a venereal disease? Gonorrhoea or syphilis? 235 00:24:47,100 --> 00:24:50,100 No, I never had anything like that. 236 00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:58,500 Have you done anything to instigate this abortion? 237 00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:00,800 I'm sorry, could you repeat that? 238 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:04,300 I asked if you have done anything to instigate this abortion. 239 00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:06,900 No, I have not done anything. 240 00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:09,100 I wanted the baby. 241 00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:13,600 That would be all. Thank you. 242 00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:03,900 - Andersson's sport store. - May I speak to Tage? 243 00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:08,500 - Tage who? - Tage Lindin. 244 00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:12,900 - Hello? - Hello, Tage, it's Hj�rdis. 245 00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:17,100 - Hi, how are you? - Not great, Tage. 246 00:27:17,300 --> 00:27:21,300 It'll be better once you get out. Just wait and see. 247 00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:25,500 Why don't you come and see me tonight? 248 00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:28,500 I'm allowed visitors in the evenings. 249 00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:34,300 - I need to talk to you. - You're crazy. In a place like that? 250 00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:39,700 Lot's of people come here. Husbands, fianc�s and others. 251 00:27:39,900 --> 00:27:42,700 I'm not a goddamn fianc�. 252 00:27:42,900 --> 00:27:47,700 - But your the child's father. - I'll fix it when you get out. 253 00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:54,000 - Not like last time. I won't do it. - Not like last time. I promise. 254 00:27:54,100 --> 00:27:58,600 What should I do? What should I tell them here? 255 00:27:58,700 --> 00:28:04,400 They keep asking questions. About what I have done and what I will do. 256 00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:06,700 Their questions drive me crazy. 257 00:28:06,900 --> 00:28:10,700 Just stay silent. Stay silent as the grave. 258 00:28:10,900 --> 00:28:14,700 They're not putting the screws on you, are they? 259 00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:19,700 Cheer up now. I can't stand here all day talking. 260 00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:21,300 Bye. 261 00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:43,100 Aren't they wonderful? 262 00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:46,600 We should talk some more. I have a minute. 263 00:28:49,100 --> 00:28:51,900 - We have nothing more to talk about. - Come on. 264 00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:11,800 Things are going well now, Nurse Brita said. 265 00:29:11,900 --> 00:29:16,800 The bleedings have stopped, and there are no worrying signs. 266 00:29:16,900 --> 00:29:18,700 Please sit. 267 00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:25,200 But... 268 00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:31,700 Maybe you're not happy about it. Maybe you would have preferred... 269 00:29:33,100 --> 00:29:38,700 Well... You don't think marrying the father of the baby is an option- 270 00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:41,600 - and you don't want to go to your parents' house. 271 00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:45,000 Your parents still don't know anything. 272 00:29:48,300 --> 00:29:52,700 I would like to remind you once more of what I said before. 273 00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:56,300 The situation for an unmarried mother in Sweden today- 274 00:29:56,400 --> 00:30:01,800 - is completely different from what it was 30-40 years ago. 275 00:30:01,900 --> 00:30:05,900 The state is there to help and protect the mother- 276 00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:09,600 - as she fights for her child. 277 00:30:09,700 --> 00:30:13,200 There's maternity allowance and child benefit- 278 00:30:13,300 --> 00:30:17,900 - there's free maternity care and social security. 279 00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:21,900 The rights of the child are protected by law- 280 00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:24,900 - and a child ombudsman will support you. 281 00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:31,000 He will make sure you receive maintenance from the father. 282 00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:37,600 There are care homes where you are welcome before and after the birth. 283 00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:43,200 It would of course be better if you contacted your parents. 284 00:30:43,300 --> 00:30:47,700 You are... You are afraid of your mother, aren't you? 285 00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:51,900 - I could call... - I'm not afraid of my mother. 286 00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:56,300 Don't worry. We won't do anything that you don't agree to. 287 00:30:56,400 --> 00:31:00,600 Please understand that the views on this have changed enormously. 288 00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:04,700 It is neither shameful nor unfortunate for a girl to give birth. 289 00:31:04,900 --> 00:31:08,500 You can call yourself Mrs and get yourself a house. 290 00:31:08,700 --> 00:31:11,500 Where would I get the money? The bank? 291 00:31:11,700 --> 00:31:16,000 You'll get a home loan and priority on the housing list. 292 00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:20,500 - How will I pay the rent? - You would have to work, of course. 293 00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:24,500 - Then who would look after... - There are excellent nurseries... 294 00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:27,100 ...with low fees for low-income earners. 295 00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:31,400 - And at night? When you get sick? - Well... 296 00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:34,200 Some things you have to do yourself. 297 00:31:34,300 --> 00:31:39,900 The joy of having a child, something to live for... 298 00:31:40,100 --> 00:31:43,900 Tell me... Won't you try to see it that way? 299 00:31:44,100 --> 00:31:46,300 As a gift. 300 00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:49,600 Something precious. 301 00:31:49,700 --> 00:31:54,700 Something not everyone gets, no matter how much they want it. 302 00:31:55,900 --> 00:32:00,200 There are women who can never have children, because... 303 00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:03,400 You are trying to scare me into crying. 304 00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:07,100 No, my dear. I don't want to scare you. 305 00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:09,600 I am not your dear. 306 00:32:09,700 --> 00:32:12,800 And you do want me to cry, because then I am soft. 307 00:32:12,900 --> 00:32:18,700 Once I'm soft you will question me and force me to talk. 308 00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:22,300 - We won't force you. - You'll force me to give birth. 309 00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:26,900 Money this and money that. Homes here and homes there. 310 00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:30,600 "Aren't they wonderful?" 311 00:32:30,700 --> 00:32:35,500 I find them disgusting. Disgusting and repulsive. 312 00:32:35,700 --> 00:32:40,600 What do you know about such things? You've just read books at a desk. 313 00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:46,900 You've never left the rubber at home or seen tattooed arms digging in you. 314 00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:57,500 Whoops! That was a close call. 315 00:32:59,900 --> 00:33:04,400 Do you think that children are adorable too, Nurse Britta? 316 00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:10,800 - Was that the argument? - Do you think so? 317 00:33:13,700 --> 00:33:16,500 I see them every day, year after year. 318 00:33:16,700 --> 00:33:19,100 I guess I'm biased. 319 00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:23,200 They're not exactly adorable. But there is something about them. 320 00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:27,200 They have everything from the start. 321 00:33:27,300 --> 00:33:30,100 Lungs breathing, hearts beating- 322 00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:33,600 - arms flailing and hands gripping. 323 00:33:33,700 --> 00:33:38,200 - I think they are little miracles. - I think they are disgusting. 324 00:33:38,300 --> 00:33:40,500 Really? Nothing else? 325 00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:45,500 I feel sorry for them too, for having been born. 326 00:33:45,700 --> 00:33:49,400 What's the use of kicking, screaming and flailing your toes? 327 00:33:49,500 --> 00:33:53,800 It's all crap anyway. It's all crap. 328 00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:58,000 - It's not all crap. - I think it is. 329 00:33:58,200 --> 00:34:01,600 I wish I had never been born. 330 00:34:05,900 --> 00:34:10,300 I wish I had never been born. 331 00:34:10,500 --> 00:34:14,300 Not just now, it was the same when I was little. 332 00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:18,200 And that's why you are afraid to give birth on your own. 333 00:34:18,300 --> 00:34:21,300 Should I really have to when I feel that way? 334 00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:24,800 Sometimes you have to do things without asking. 335 00:34:24,900 --> 00:34:28,500 I can't. I can't. 336 00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:33,200 Why is she torturing me with her "Aren't they wonderful?" 337 00:34:33,300 --> 00:34:38,600 She longs for a child herself, but she can't have one. 338 00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:40,800 She's had several miscarriages. 339 00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:44,000 After the last one the doctor told her to give up hope. 340 00:34:44,100 --> 00:34:48,000 That doesn't mean she has to give me an earful. 341 00:34:49,100 --> 00:34:53,700 Let's see if there's any coffee left. I haven't had any myself. 342 00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:20,400 You've been gone a long time. 343 00:35:20,500 --> 00:35:23,200 They said they would get you started now. 344 00:35:23,300 --> 00:35:27,000 No? Who said that? 345 00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:31,500 - I bet it was only Thylenius. - The other one too. The woman. 346 00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:36,800 Did you hear that? Did you hear, you little one lying in there? 347 00:35:36,900 --> 00:35:39,900 Only sleeping and eating. 348 00:35:40,100 --> 00:35:43,500 Come out, lazybones, so that mummy can get slim again. 349 00:35:43,700 --> 00:35:48,500 Come out to your shirts, your umbilical bandages and trousers. 350 00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:52,900 Come out to your father who can't sleep at night because of you. 351 00:35:57,700 --> 00:36:01,800 Come out, you little rascal. You little scamp and mischief-maker. 352 00:36:01,900 --> 00:36:04,700 Come out and see your mother. 353 00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:10,100 You haven't pinched anything from the medicine cabinet, have you? 354 00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:13,100 No, Nurse. This is all faith, hope and love. 355 00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:16,700 Sometimes a little push is still needed. 356 00:36:16,900 --> 00:36:22,200 - Is that lager? That'll be my first. - You'll need it to swallow this. 357 00:36:22,300 --> 00:36:27,100 Castor oil? In that case it will be my last lager too. 358 00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:29,400 But in it goes. 359 00:36:29,500 --> 00:36:31,600 I'm going to take swigs. Like this. 360 00:36:31,700 --> 00:36:34,900 Come here. 361 00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:39,700 One for father. One for mother. 362 00:36:39,900 --> 00:36:43,800 And one for our Father and no one other. 363 00:36:43,900 --> 00:36:46,800 One for grandma who's never down. 364 00:36:46,900 --> 00:36:49,700 And one for grandpa... 365 00:36:49,900 --> 00:36:52,100 ...who lives in a town. 366 00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:58,900 One for me, as happy as can be. 367 00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:01,500 And one for the little boy- 368 00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:05,700 - who is his mother's pride and joy. 369 00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:16,800 Have you ever seen such a mad mother-to-be before? 370 00:37:16,900 --> 00:37:20,400 No, Mrs Andersson is the worst I have ever seen. 371 00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:25,500 I long for him so much. I'll go insane if he doesn't come out soon. 372 00:37:29,700 --> 00:37:32,200 What's the matter, Mrs Andersson? 373 00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:36,900 Nothing, Nurse. Nothing at all. 374 00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:46,500 What does the Bible say again? 375 00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:53,900 "A sword pierced her soul." 376 00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:56,100 That's it. 377 00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:01,200 I don't know where it came from. 378 00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:05,800 But suddenly I thought... 379 00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:09,300 ...what if he doesn't come out like he should? 380 00:38:10,700 --> 00:38:16,000 I felt a pain pass through me. 381 00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:19,400 Why did I joke and laugh so much? 382 00:38:19,500 --> 00:38:22,300 It's dangerous. 383 00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:27,400 - Sing before... - But this is not before breakfast. 384 00:38:27,500 --> 00:38:31,500 It's before supper. 385 00:38:31,700 --> 00:38:32,600 Then it doesn't count. 386 00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:36,000 Then it doesn't count. 387 00:38:37,800 --> 00:38:42,600 Good heavens! Visiting hours are only half an hour away. 388 00:38:45,900 --> 00:38:48,600 Here. 389 00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:11,500 You should have been a hairdresser. 390 00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:14,500 You have the right touch. 391 00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:19,400 It's still not too late, you're still only a child. 392 00:39:22,500 --> 00:39:25,700 Then you could take care of your child on your own. 393 00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:28,500 My hairdresser provides for two little boys. 394 00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:32,100 They are the handsomest boys in the whole borough. 395 00:39:50,500 --> 00:39:53,000 No... 396 00:39:53,200 --> 00:39:58,000 How did you do this? I look fit for a ball. 397 00:39:58,200 --> 00:40:01,800 Mark my words, you have a golden touch. 398 00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:06,500 Good heavens! 399 00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:10,300 - Should I put on some powder? - Yes, let me see what you've got. 400 00:40:12,200 --> 00:40:14,300 Let me! 401 00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:33,500 - Now it's your turn. - I don't get any visitors. 402 00:40:33,700 --> 00:40:36,700 Sit down. Come on. 403 00:40:37,900 --> 00:40:41,800 You won't look as nice as me, but I can do a thing or two too. 404 00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:45,800 Let's see now. 405 00:40:45,900 --> 00:40:50,900 You could do with some grooming even if you don't have visitors. 406 00:40:51,100 --> 00:40:55,300 And anyway, you can't be certain. 407 00:40:57,000 --> 00:41:00,500 No. No, no... 408 00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:05,200 Keep your hopes up for as long as you can. 409 00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:08,300 Let's see now. 410 00:41:08,500 --> 00:41:11,500 That's better. And now this side. 411 00:41:11,700 --> 00:41:16,200 Stina is not as stupid as you might think. 412 00:41:16,300 --> 00:41:20,900 And this way... That's it, my child. 413 00:41:28,200 --> 00:41:33,500 I certainly won't get visitors. My husband was here this morning. 414 00:41:33,700 --> 00:41:39,000 - It's still nice to be looked after. - Of course it is. 415 00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:45,100 What a wonderful mother you will be. 416 00:41:45,300 --> 00:41:47,400 So will you. 417 00:41:47,500 --> 00:41:53,700 Look at that - liver casserole. No more anaemia! 418 00:41:56,800 --> 00:42:01,900 Thyme. They've actually used thyme. 419 00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:04,400 Yummy! 420 00:42:10,900 --> 00:42:14,100 Do you want your food here at the table? 421 00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:16,100 Yes, please. 422 00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:39,800 The father reports his arrival. 423 00:42:47,100 --> 00:42:52,200 Have you been to the cottage to pick some flowers? 424 00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:56,900 Yes. I managed to find the time. 425 00:42:57,000 --> 00:43:01,200 I thought you and the boy deserved a greeting from there. 426 00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:06,800 No store-bought flowers, since he comes when ours are in bloom. 427 00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:10,800 And he will come soon. They've sped him up. 428 00:43:10,900 --> 00:43:15,600 I've had castor oil and lager. Imagine me drinking lager. 429 00:43:15,700 --> 00:43:19,600 I never managed to teach you that. Trust him to do it. 430 00:43:19,700 --> 00:43:24,400 I still haven't learnt it. The taste of it... 431 00:43:24,600 --> 00:43:29,700 This is not bad at all. Liver. 432 00:43:32,300 --> 00:43:36,700 - Do you get any food, you poor thing? - Don't pity me. 433 00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:41,200 You should have seen the bacon I fried for supper - it was so crispy. 434 00:43:44,300 --> 00:43:46,600 Are you here to see Hj�rdis? 435 00:43:51,500 --> 00:43:54,200 - And for dessert... - Hi there, Hj�rdis. 436 00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:59,300 Hi. 437 00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:04,900 I didn't recognize you in that dress. 438 00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:10,800 - Please take this chair. - Thank you. 439 00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:21,100 Everyone at the ward sends their regards... 440 00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:24,100 The flowers are from all of us. 441 00:44:24,200 --> 00:44:29,900 I bought them at lunchtime and had nowhere to put them- 442 00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:32,000 - so they need some water. 443 00:44:32,100 --> 00:44:36,900 - I will tell one of the nurses. - Can you do that? Just tell them? 444 00:44:37,100 --> 00:44:40,200 That's what they're here for. They're paid for it. 445 00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:49,400 And I brought you this. 446 00:44:49,500 --> 00:44:52,300 Thanks. I don't have this one. 447 00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:58,700 - Are you allowed up? - When it's not bleeding anymore. 448 00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:03,600 Isn't it? That means... 449 00:45:03,800 --> 00:45:06,100 You were bleeding terribly at work. 450 00:45:06,200 --> 00:45:11,000 - Nurse Signe said it wouldn't live. - But it did. 451 00:45:11,200 --> 00:45:16,700 I'm too dutiful. If I hadn't gone to work I wouldn't have come here. 452 00:45:16,900 --> 00:45:19,700 - Would it have gone wrong then? - I would have worked. 453 00:45:19,900 --> 00:45:23,900 Now they gave me shots and made me lie down. 454 00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:28,500 What had you done? 455 00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:32,400 The usual. I ate quinine and drank brandy. 456 00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:37,100 - I skipped rope. I skipped so much. - I see. 457 00:45:37,300 --> 00:45:40,900 And now? What are you doing now? 458 00:45:45,100 --> 00:45:51,200 - Hey... Benke said that Tage knew... - And if I don't agree? 459 00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:59,600 If you put up a rubber canvas like this... 460 00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:02,300 Over a frame such as this one... 461 00:46:02,500 --> 00:46:07,500 And then you put the whole thing on top of the bath like this. 462 00:46:07,700 --> 00:46:11,500 Then you won't have to bend over so much when you bathe him. 463 00:46:11,700 --> 00:46:16,500 They sell rubber canvas in the paint shop, and it's not expensive. 464 00:46:16,600 --> 00:46:19,800 Then you can order a sheet of plywood- 465 00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:26,600 - that you put on top of the bath, where you can keep your bottles. 466 00:46:26,700 --> 00:46:30,400 Umbilical powder, bottom powder, hair powder... 467 00:46:30,500 --> 00:46:35,000 No, not hair powder, you silly. 468 00:46:36,700 --> 00:46:41,500 But what if the sheet will bulge from the steam? 469 00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:48,700 Not plywood. That's hard as hell. It won't bulge. 470 00:46:50,900 --> 00:46:54,700 Did you figure all this out when you lay awake? 471 00:46:54,800 --> 00:46:57,700 Yes, and then I had to get up to draw. 472 00:46:57,900 --> 00:47:02,200 I stood there smelling your bathrobe for a while. 473 00:47:02,400 --> 00:47:09,700 I had to open the cupboard and look at the boy's shirts and trousers. 474 00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:13,500 Then I went back and slept like a log. 475 00:47:13,700 --> 00:47:18,100 Do you know what? You are as crazy as I am. 476 00:47:21,700 --> 00:47:23,900 Visiting hours are over. 477 00:47:25,500 --> 00:47:28,900 - Good bye, then. - Bye, mummy. 478 00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:32,900 Don't take it so hard. 479 00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:36,800 Don't be silly now. 480 00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:45,900 Bye. 481 00:47:48,600 --> 00:47:50,900 Say hallo to the boy. 482 00:47:55,900 --> 00:48:02,100 Well, it's time to take off one's beauty again. Short but sweet. 483 00:48:50,300 --> 00:48:53,600 - Do you need some help sleeping? - I don't take pills. 484 00:48:53,800 --> 00:48:58,500 The first night it might be helpful. Are you no longer in pain? 485 00:48:58,600 --> 00:49:01,500 - It's throbbing down there. - That's expected. 486 00:49:01,600 --> 00:49:04,800 I'll put the pills here for you. 487 00:49:06,400 --> 00:49:09,100 - I guess you have had enough. - Yes. 488 00:49:09,200 --> 00:49:12,900 I could taste the castor oil all through dinner, however good it was. 489 00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:16,100 The end justifies the means, Mrs Andersson. 490 00:49:16,200 --> 00:49:21,200 - How beautiful. - They're from our own allotment. 491 00:49:21,400 --> 00:49:26,200 - Now they're a greeting to your son. - That's right, Nurse. 492 00:49:27,200 --> 00:49:29,400 - May I turn out the lights? - Yes. 493 00:49:29,500 --> 00:49:33,300 - Good night. Sweet dreams. - Good night. 494 00:50:53,200 --> 00:50:57,300 Now they're fed for the last time today. 495 00:51:05,300 --> 00:51:08,700 I've got a pain in my stomach. 496 00:51:08,800 --> 00:51:12,500 He might come out tonight. 497 00:51:12,600 --> 00:51:15,800 He wouldn't dare- 498 00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:19,300 - robbing his mother of her sleep. 499 00:51:23,900 --> 00:51:27,200 But he's very welcome to. 500 00:51:28,300 --> 00:51:30,800 Tonight. 501 00:51:33,100 --> 00:51:38,200 I'll see to it that he is baptized in church after all. 502 00:51:39,600 --> 00:51:42,800 Even if Harry hasn't agreed yet. 503 00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:45,300 Harry... 504 00:51:46,200 --> 00:51:50,000 He's the best in the world for me. 505 00:51:50,100 --> 00:51:54,300 But he doesn't quite understand these things. 506 00:51:54,500 --> 00:51:58,900 - Have you decided on a name? - Harry, of course. 507 00:51:59,100 --> 00:52:02,300 Like his father. That's a given. 508 00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:06,200 And Konrad, after my father. Quite a name, isn't it? 509 00:52:06,300 --> 00:52:10,900 But that's a given too. Then Torsten, after his paternal grandpa. 510 00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:14,800 And everyone thinks we should call him that. 511 00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:18,900 But I will always call him Little Harry. 512 00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:26,900 Oh dear... 513 00:52:27,100 --> 00:52:32,500 How nice it will be to sleep on my stomach again. 514 00:52:32,600 --> 00:52:36,300 Well, girls, it's beddy-bye for me. 515 00:52:36,500 --> 00:52:41,200 Beddy-bye. That's what my mum used to say. 516 00:52:41,400 --> 00:52:46,900 And kip or snooze. 517 00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:51,300 - Good night, and sweet dreams. - Good night. 518 00:52:51,500 --> 00:52:54,200 Sweet dreams. 519 00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:29,900 It has started, Nurse. It's under way. 520 00:53:32,400 --> 00:53:36,100 How close together are they? 521 00:53:36,300 --> 00:53:39,200 Every five or six minutes. 522 00:53:39,400 --> 00:53:42,600 We will bring you down to the labour ward. 523 00:53:44,100 --> 00:53:50,100 Now it's time, girls. I'm so happy. 524 00:53:50,300 --> 00:53:53,100 And sweet, dear Nurse... 525 00:53:53,300 --> 00:53:59,400 Make sure that my flowers are brought down tomorrow. They're from... 526 00:54:02,400 --> 00:54:06,800 Don't look so scared, girl. This is wonderful. This is life. 527 00:54:11,700 --> 00:54:14,500 I hope you can go back to sleep. 528 00:54:24,300 --> 00:54:26,800 Nurse Inga-Britt. 529 00:54:28,400 --> 00:54:31,100 - Is that his bed? - Indeed. 530 00:54:31,200 --> 00:54:33,400 Are you expecting a crown prince? 531 00:54:33,600 --> 00:54:35,900 Please slide over. 532 00:54:47,200 --> 00:54:49,200 Take a deep breath. 533 00:54:49,400 --> 00:54:54,100 Now I've been bragging so much about it being a boy. 534 00:54:54,200 --> 00:54:58,800 Of course I will be happy whatever it is. 535 00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:04,200 - But I think... - I think so too, and quickly. 536 00:55:04,300 --> 00:55:06,900 This was quick, Mrs Andersson. 537 00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:11,700 - How does it feel now? - It feels wonderful. 538 00:55:13,600 --> 00:55:16,300 The head has moved down, I think. 539 00:55:42,700 --> 00:55:45,800 Are you pushing during the contractions? 540 00:55:48,600 --> 00:55:50,900 I think so. 541 00:55:53,600 --> 00:55:57,200 Let me know when the next contraction comes. 542 00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:04,600 I think it's coming straight away. 543 00:56:11,500 --> 00:56:14,300 Take a deep breath and hold it. 544 00:56:14,500 --> 00:56:18,100 Push your chin against your chest. 545 00:56:18,200 --> 00:56:22,300 Just push it. That's better. 546 00:56:22,500 --> 00:56:26,300 Keep holding your breath. Keep pushing. 547 00:56:36,700 --> 00:56:40,600 - Is the contraction over? - I don't know. 548 00:56:59,100 --> 00:57:04,100 - Can't you sleep? - No. 549 00:57:04,200 --> 00:57:08,500 It's impossible. I'm wide awake. 550 00:57:09,900 --> 00:57:12,300 Me too. 551 00:57:23,900 --> 00:57:27,200 - May I sit here for a while? - Yes. 552 00:57:27,300 --> 00:57:31,200 Take this blanket so that you don't catch a cold. 553 00:57:37,100 --> 00:57:40,700 I wish I could have a cigarette. 554 00:57:43,500 --> 00:57:46,900 - Take one. - What if someone comes? 555 00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:50,900 It's the middle of the night. No one will come. 556 00:58:02,400 --> 00:58:05,100 It can't taste it. 557 00:58:07,400 --> 00:58:09,900 I can't taste anything. 558 00:58:10,100 --> 00:58:15,200 - It's that damn kid's fault. - Don't call it damned. 559 00:58:15,300 --> 00:58:19,600 - It hasn't done anything wrong. - No. 560 00:58:19,700 --> 00:58:22,700 But I have. 561 00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:46,700 They think I'm horrible. I think so too. 562 00:58:46,900 --> 00:58:49,400 I think I'm horrible. 563 00:58:49,600 --> 00:58:55,500 I don't want to answer like I do, but the words just fall from my lips. 564 00:58:55,600 --> 00:58:59,800 I bite their heads off although I don't mean it. 565 00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:06,000 Then at night when I can't sleep I get so angry with myself. 566 00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:10,400 Everything just keeps growing and growing. 567 00:59:10,500 --> 00:59:13,800 And I always end up at the very bottom. 568 00:59:14,000 --> 00:59:19,900 Whatever I do, things just go wrong. I don't know what to do. 569 00:59:20,100 --> 00:59:22,000 Damn! 570 00:59:24,300 --> 00:59:28,100 What a mess I've made. I dropped my cigarette. 571 00:59:28,200 --> 00:59:31,000 They're going to see that someone's been smoking. 572 00:59:31,100 --> 00:59:33,800 Well, let them yell at me in the morning. 573 00:59:34,000 --> 00:59:38,700 - Do you want me to turn on the light? - No, I found it. 574 00:59:44,300 --> 00:59:50,400 "If only things were different", you said. What did you mean? 575 00:59:51,500 --> 00:59:57,100 If I had someone who liked me enough to want to marry me. 576 00:59:57,200 --> 01:00:01,300 If I had somewhere to live, so it could have a home- 577 01:00:01,500 --> 01:00:05,100 - then I would be happy about the baby, too. 578 01:00:05,200 --> 01:00:08,500 Not like Stina, of course. 579 01:00:08,600 --> 01:00:13,500 But still... In my own way. 580 01:00:13,700 --> 01:00:17,100 I always used to like kids. In days of old. 581 01:00:17,200 --> 01:00:21,300 In days of old... When was that? A long time ago? 582 01:00:21,400 --> 01:00:27,800 I grew tired of having a job at home. Nothing ever happened, so I left. 583 01:00:27,900 --> 01:00:30,600 Can't your parents help you? 584 01:00:30,800 --> 01:00:33,500 No. 585 01:00:33,600 --> 01:00:37,300 Mother would never forgive me. Never. 586 01:00:37,500 --> 01:00:39,700 That was the last thing she said to me. 587 01:00:39,800 --> 01:00:42,200 She didn't want me to leave. 588 01:00:42,400 --> 01:00:46,100 She was scared I would make a mess of things. 589 01:00:46,200 --> 01:00:50,900 "Don't you dare come home with a kid", she said. 590 01:00:51,000 --> 01:00:53,900 Mothers say such things- 591 01:00:54,000 --> 01:00:58,200 - but in the end they receive their daughters with open arms. 592 01:00:58,400 --> 01:01:00,300 Not my mother. 593 01:01:00,400 --> 01:01:04,200 She's always been so haughty and superior- 594 01:01:04,300 --> 01:01:07,600 - even though father's just a lumberjack. 595 01:01:07,800 --> 01:01:12,100 Father... I don't think he would mind too much. 596 01:01:12,300 --> 01:01:17,200 - But mother... - What about the baby's father? 597 01:01:17,400 --> 01:01:20,600 He's not a father. 598 01:01:20,700 --> 01:01:23,500 He just wants to get rid of him. 599 01:01:23,600 --> 01:01:27,500 He has done it once before. 600 01:01:30,400 --> 01:01:32,200 You see... 601 01:01:33,300 --> 01:01:36,600 I didn't know what it was like. 602 01:01:36,800 --> 01:01:42,200 I didn't know anything. I just did what he told me. 603 01:01:43,400 --> 01:01:46,700 But I'm never doing it again. Never! 604 01:01:46,900 --> 01:01:51,200 I'd rather drown myself, before I do that again. 605 01:01:58,000 --> 01:02:02,900 Why couldn't he have left once it all started? 606 01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:05,800 It feels like a big lump- 607 01:02:05,900 --> 01:02:10,900 - that just sucks all my blood away. 608 01:02:12,200 --> 01:02:15,100 But it is true what you said. 609 01:02:15,200 --> 01:02:18,700 It hasn't done anything wrong. 610 01:02:18,800 --> 01:02:24,700 I think about that sometimes during the nights. 611 01:02:24,800 --> 01:02:31,400 It hasn't done anything wrong. It didn't ask to be born. 612 01:02:31,500 --> 01:02:36,300 But then I remember being little and wanting to leave home. 613 01:02:36,500 --> 01:02:41,700 I used to think: "Who decided that I was to be born here?" 614 01:02:41,800 --> 01:02:44,200 "Who decided that?" 615 01:02:44,400 --> 01:02:47,800 Still, I had a good life, compared to what this one will have. 616 01:02:47,900 --> 01:02:51,300 Without a father and everything. 617 01:02:51,400 --> 01:02:54,500 When it grows up it will ask: 618 01:02:54,600 --> 01:02:56,500 "Why did you have me?" 619 01:02:56,700 --> 01:03:00,900 "It would have been better to let me die at birth." 620 01:03:04,900 --> 01:03:08,100 I still think you should talk to your mother. 621 01:03:08,300 --> 01:03:10,800 Mothers aren't always the way we think. 622 01:03:10,900 --> 01:03:16,800 They were young once, too, and can't have forgotten about it... 623 01:03:18,000 --> 01:03:22,900 Forgive me, Hj�rdis. My tablet is kicking in. 624 01:03:23,000 --> 01:03:25,100 I took it when Stina had left. 625 01:03:25,200 --> 01:03:27,500 Why don't you try and get some sleep? 626 01:03:27,600 --> 01:03:29,900 I can't. 627 01:03:30,000 --> 01:03:34,000 I try and try, but it just makes me feel more awake. 628 01:03:34,100 --> 01:03:36,000 I feel so restless. 629 01:03:36,200 --> 01:03:40,100 Take a sleeping pill. Didn't you get one? 630 01:03:48,600 --> 01:03:51,800 Haven't you been taking your medication? 631 01:03:51,900 --> 01:03:56,300 I couldn't avoid the injections, but I'm not taking the pills. 632 01:03:56,400 --> 01:03:59,300 It's a strong baby you've got- 633 01:03:59,400 --> 01:04:02,000 - who doesn't need pills to stay put. 634 01:04:02,100 --> 01:04:05,600 I don't know which one is the sleeping pill. 635 01:04:05,700 --> 01:04:10,100 This one, I remember because it looks like a little yellow rocket. 636 01:04:10,200 --> 01:04:15,100 - This might make me sleep. - Yes, I'm sure it will help. 637 01:04:19,600 --> 01:04:21,600 Good night, Hj�rdis. 638 01:04:21,800 --> 01:04:25,500 I'm half asleep already. 639 01:04:39,700 --> 01:04:43,500 This is bound to be a strong boy. 640 01:04:47,200 --> 01:04:52,400 Chin towards the chest, hold your breath and squeeze some more. 641 01:04:52,500 --> 01:04:54,900 Just a bit more. That's it. 642 01:04:55,000 --> 01:04:59,400 Squeeze. Squeeze. There you go. 643 01:05:01,100 --> 01:05:03,100 That's it. 644 01:05:08,400 --> 01:05:11,900 Easy. Rest yourself. 645 01:05:12,100 --> 01:05:17,400 Rest yourself, and catch your breath. Just lie there and rest. 646 01:05:28,400 --> 01:05:31,700 Is it that far gone already? 647 01:05:35,800 --> 01:05:40,000 - Any break between the contractions? - No, hardly any. 648 01:05:40,200 --> 01:05:45,200 - Has the pain stopped now? - No, it still hurts. 649 01:05:45,400 --> 01:05:51,900 Dear God, I had no idea it was going to be this tough. 650 01:06:13,900 --> 01:06:16,500 Try to relax, Mrs Andersson. 651 01:06:16,700 --> 01:06:19,500 Try and breathe slowly. 652 01:06:19,600 --> 01:06:24,000 - I'll go and get Dr Melin. - Ask him to hurry up. 653 01:07:08,800 --> 01:07:13,500 I think we will have to sedate you, Mrs Andersson. 654 01:07:13,600 --> 01:07:16,600 - Is there something wrong? - It's a bit rough. 655 01:07:16,800 --> 01:07:20,500 It's probably best for you to be able to drift away for a while. 656 01:07:20,600 --> 01:07:24,900 Don't use the forceps! You're going to hurt him! 657 01:07:25,000 --> 01:07:28,900 I'll manage! I'II... I'II... 658 01:07:29,000 --> 01:07:31,700 It's for your own good. 659 01:07:31,800 --> 01:07:39,100 Please count with me. One, two, three... 660 01:07:39,200 --> 01:07:43,700 ...four, five, six, seven... 661 01:07:50,300 --> 01:07:52,300 Good morning. 662 01:07:58,700 --> 01:08:02,700 - Is it time already? - I've heard the screams for a while. 663 01:08:02,900 --> 01:08:05,800 I wonder who is making all that noise. 664 01:08:06,000 --> 01:08:09,900 You don't have to wonder any longer. This ought to make her stop. 665 01:08:10,000 --> 01:08:15,100 Oh, you're starving, little one. There we go. 666 01:08:15,200 --> 01:08:18,800 God, it's dripping all over the place. 667 01:08:19,000 --> 01:08:20,700 Come on, hurry up. 668 01:08:46,600 --> 01:08:50,100 Are you bringing in the flowers already? 669 01:08:50,200 --> 01:08:54,500 No, it's just these. She wanted them moved here. 670 01:08:54,600 --> 01:08:58,400 - Has she had her baby? - I think so, it started at midnight. 671 01:08:58,500 --> 01:09:02,500 She's been here before, but in another room. 672 01:09:02,600 --> 01:09:06,500 No, no, women aren't supposed to behave like this. 673 01:09:06,700 --> 01:09:11,700 Just gobble everything down without thinking ahead. 674 01:09:11,900 --> 01:09:13,900 Give us a burp now. 675 01:09:35,400 --> 01:09:37,300 Nurse Maud? 676 01:10:39,000 --> 01:10:43,200 Nurse Brita, please, what's happened? 677 01:10:43,300 --> 01:10:45,400 The baby died. 678 01:10:45,500 --> 01:10:51,500 They said that her labour was too violent. 679 01:10:51,600 --> 01:10:56,400 She was so looking forward to it. You don't see that very often. 680 01:10:56,500 --> 01:11:00,800 - Does she know about it? - Yes, I think so. 681 01:11:01,000 --> 01:11:03,300 I'm cold. 682 01:11:05,800 --> 01:11:09,700 I'll get some extra blankets for you, Mrs Anderson. 683 01:11:50,100 --> 01:11:52,200 What are we going to do? 684 01:11:52,400 --> 01:11:57,300 Nothing, Hj�rdis. There's nothing that will help. 685 01:11:59,300 --> 01:12:01,300 It's horrible... 686 01:12:01,500 --> 01:12:04,500 ...as if life itself has died. 687 01:12:04,600 --> 01:12:09,700 As if nothing is ever going to be born again. 688 01:12:09,900 --> 01:12:14,300 The doctors are making their rounds and will be here soon. 689 01:12:36,600 --> 01:12:40,000 - How are you today, Mrs Ellius? - Fine, I think. 690 01:12:40,100 --> 01:12:42,100 I'm feeling a little bit of pain, though. 691 01:12:42,300 --> 01:12:46,200 - Have you been out of bed yet? - No. 692 01:12:52,800 --> 01:12:57,100 Try and get out of bed for a little while this afternoon. 693 01:13:08,400 --> 01:13:11,400 I want to know why he died. 694 01:13:17,500 --> 01:13:21,100 I feel as helpless as you about this. 695 01:13:21,200 --> 01:13:25,500 And I'm very sorry. There was nothing wrong with you- 696 01:13:25,700 --> 01:13:30,500 - and as far as I can see, there was nothing wrong with the boy either. 697 01:13:30,700 --> 01:13:33,700 But... it wasn't meant to be. 698 01:13:33,900 --> 01:13:38,300 However cruel that may sound. 699 01:13:38,500 --> 01:13:41,400 That's all I can say. 700 01:13:41,600 --> 01:13:43,500 But... 701 01:13:44,600 --> 01:13:46,900 But... 702 01:13:47,100 --> 01:13:51,000 ...he was alive yesterday... 703 01:13:53,000 --> 01:13:56,400 I felt him move... 704 01:13:57,400 --> 01:14:01,000 ...yesterday evening. 705 01:14:01,100 --> 01:14:04,700 But he didn't survive the delivery. 706 01:14:04,800 --> 01:14:07,700 As far as we know, it was too much for him. 707 01:14:07,800 --> 01:14:10,900 It could be due to changes in the placenta- 708 01:14:11,000 --> 01:14:13,700 - since you were so long overdue. 709 01:14:13,800 --> 01:14:19,100 But there's nothing to suggest that it won't work out next time. 710 01:14:31,600 --> 01:14:33,700 I think we can discharge you- 711 01:14:33,900 --> 01:14:38,800 - but talk to counsellor Gran first, she'll help you. 712 01:15:06,800 --> 01:15:08,500 Yes, it's in room E. 713 01:15:16,000 --> 01:15:18,800 You can't put them there now! 714 01:15:18,900 --> 01:15:24,100 - The flowers are hers. - But you can't. I'll ask Brita. 715 01:15:24,200 --> 01:15:29,500 Yes. X-ray tomorrow at ten o'clock. Thank you. 716 01:15:29,600 --> 01:15:35,600 Nurse Brita, they wanted to put these with Stina. They can't, surely? 717 01:15:39,700 --> 01:15:42,700 We'll put them here, Hj�rdis. 718 01:15:44,900 --> 01:15:50,800 But you're freezing. Go put your clothes on, you can go home today. 719 01:15:51,000 --> 01:15:57,200 It's awful in there. It's as if there's nothing but death all around. 720 01:15:57,300 --> 01:16:00,500 Nurse Brita? 721 01:16:00,600 --> 01:16:06,000 Would you borrow me some money, so that I can call my mother? 722 01:16:06,200 --> 01:16:08,800 Of course. 723 01:16:09,000 --> 01:16:12,700 Would you hold my hand? It won't take long. 724 01:16:12,800 --> 01:16:17,200 - What's the number? - S�der�sen 975. 725 01:16:19,800 --> 01:16:22,400 This is Nurse Brita at the women's clinic ward 2. 726 01:16:22,500 --> 01:16:27,500 I would like to be connected to S�der�sen 975. Thank you. 727 01:16:35,300 --> 01:16:37,200 Ward 2, Nurse Brita. 728 01:16:37,300 --> 01:16:40,300 Just a moment. 729 01:16:44,500 --> 01:16:49,500 975? Is it mother? 730 01:16:50,600 --> 01:16:54,600 Hi, mother, it's Hj�rdis. 731 01:16:56,000 --> 01:17:00,100 I've been ill, mother. I've been in hospital- 732 01:17:00,300 --> 01:17:02,600 - but I feel better now. 733 01:17:04,700 --> 01:17:06,600 Mother...? 734 01:17:06,700 --> 01:17:11,500 I'm pregnant, mother. That's why I've been ill. 735 01:17:11,600 --> 01:17:16,100 I wanted to get rid of it, but I can't. 736 01:17:16,300 --> 01:17:22,800 Mother... I want to keep the baby, even though I have to do it alone. 737 01:17:25,200 --> 01:17:27,500 May I, really? 738 01:17:27,600 --> 01:17:33,100 Even though your worst nightmare has come true? 739 01:17:33,200 --> 01:17:38,500 Then I'll be there tomorrow. I'll take the train tonight. 740 01:17:38,600 --> 01:17:41,200 Goodbye, mother. 741 01:17:46,500 --> 01:17:49,100 Did you hear what she said, Nurse Brita? 742 01:17:49,300 --> 01:17:52,300 "Come as soon you can", she said. 743 01:17:52,400 --> 01:17:57,100 I can't believe mother said that. And I've been so scared of her. 744 01:17:57,300 --> 01:18:00,300 Do you have money for the ticket, Hj�rdis? 745 01:18:00,400 --> 01:18:03,600 No, I don't. What am I going to do? 746 01:18:03,800 --> 01:18:08,400 I can lend you the money. Mrs Gran might be able to reimburse me later. 747 01:18:08,500 --> 01:18:11,100 - How much is it? - 27,50 crowns. 748 01:18:11,200 --> 01:18:15,800 - I have to write a receipt! - That's not necessary. 749 01:18:15,900 --> 01:18:19,400 I want to do it properly. I want to do everything properly. 750 01:18:19,500 --> 01:18:25,500 - Will 50 crowns be enough? - Oh yes, as long as I get home! 751 01:18:31,700 --> 01:18:34,000 Is that good enough? 752 01:18:35,400 --> 01:18:40,100 If this works out well, it's all thanks to you, Nurse Brita. 753 01:18:40,300 --> 01:18:44,700 You had it in you, and I believed in it, that's all. 754 01:18:44,900 --> 01:18:47,800 Ward 2, Nurse Brita. 755 01:18:48,000 --> 01:18:49,800 Right. 756 01:18:49,900 --> 01:18:53,700 Yes. Yes, thank you, very well. 757 01:18:53,800 --> 01:18:57,900 - You and Anders are a good match. - Greta... 758 01:18:58,100 --> 01:19:03,000 As a confirmed spinster, I shouldn't interfere, but... 759 01:19:07,300 --> 01:19:10,600 Anders is my brother, and you know what he means to me. 760 01:19:10,700 --> 01:19:15,000 - You should be able to understand. - Understand what? 761 01:19:15,100 --> 01:19:18,700 That women of my kind never should marry. 762 01:19:18,800 --> 01:19:23,700 We're independent enough to want to stand on our own two feet. 763 01:19:23,900 --> 01:19:26,400 But not independent enough- 764 01:19:26,600 --> 01:19:32,300 - to be able to support the ones we are married to. 765 01:19:34,200 --> 01:19:37,500 Loneliness is our only option. 766 01:19:40,100 --> 01:19:43,400 What do you think Ioneliness is? 767 01:19:43,600 --> 01:19:47,500 A cool serenity, an inviolable security? 768 01:19:47,600 --> 01:19:50,600 That's an illusion, Cissi. 769 01:19:50,700 --> 01:19:55,900 Real Ioneliness is a feat. 770 01:19:56,100 --> 01:20:00,500 Behind which a constant fear is lurking. 771 01:20:00,600 --> 01:20:04,100 A constant fear, Cissi. 772 01:20:07,000 --> 01:20:10,900 - Are you cut out for that? - Despite all, I do believe so. 773 01:20:11,000 --> 01:20:15,700 Can't it be your feelings of guilt and your physical condition? 774 01:20:15,900 --> 01:20:19,400 This physical condition you're talking about... 775 01:20:19,500 --> 01:20:22,800 I wanted to say goodbye, I'm leaving. 776 01:20:23,000 --> 01:20:25,400 - We won't have time to... - I'm going home. 777 01:20:25,500 --> 01:20:29,500 - To your mother? - Thanks for everything. 778 01:20:29,700 --> 01:20:32,200 You've been very kind. 779 01:20:32,300 --> 01:20:36,700 Stina is sleeping. Will you tell her that I'm going home? 780 01:20:36,900 --> 01:20:41,600 Of course, Hj�rdis. Good luck. 781 01:20:47,500 --> 01:20:50,700 Anyway, you can't leave it like you did yesterday. 782 01:20:50,800 --> 01:20:55,300 Anders was devastated, he didn't understand. You need to discuss this. 783 01:20:55,400 --> 01:20:58,000 Yes, we need to discuss this. 784 01:20:58,200 --> 01:21:01,200 Should I tell him to stop by tonight? 785 01:21:01,400 --> 01:21:06,100 Ask him to come, if he wants to and if he's not too tired. 63907

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