All language subtitles for Allo. Allo. - 01x04 - The Execution.DVDRip.English

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( theme music playing )

you are probably
wondering

what i am doing
behind that tree.

well, i will tell you,
but listen very carefully

because i shall say this
only once.

you will remember
that i own a cafe

which is being used
by the resistance

for hiding
escaping british airmen.

well, everybody seems
to know about this

except my wife's mother
and the gestapo.

and up to now i have had
a better relationship
with the gestapo.

now, those two men
disguised as scarecrows

are, in fact,
british airmen.

those two onion sellers

are none other than
the german town commandant

colonel von strohm,

and his assistant,
captain geering.

now, they look unhappy
for two reasons.

first,
their new uniforms--

which are being made
to replace the old ones

which they lent
the british airmen who,

when they thought they were
going to be captured
by other germans

and interrogated
as conspirators,

set fire to them
and burned them to a crisp--

you are with me so far?

--did not fit and are now
on their way back to london

by tiger moth.

the second reason,

the uniforms are being made
in london by a jewish tailor,

which is against the rules
in the german army.

oh, and the gestapo are also
looking for a painting

of the fallen madonna
with the big, um--

by von clomp.

this is also winging
its way across the channel

in order that a copy
can be made

so that the original can become
the personal property

of the colonel,
who is as bent as a corkscrew.

what happens next?

your guess is
as good as mine.

rene!

what?

we have much to do.

the germans may have
heard the plane.

we did.

she means the other
german troops

under my command.

who will shoot us
if they catch us
with this lot.

these are the orders
for our next move.

from here, we go north.

but if you don't mind
my saying so,

my cafe is south.

the railway is north.

but we could walk home.
why take a train?

first, we have
to blow up the railway.

- what?!
- what are we going to do
with these german swine?

we shall have
to take them with us.

what use are they?

if anyone is interested,
i took a course in explosives.

hans, we are
german officers,

part of the great army
that is winning the war.

we do not help
the resistance

to blow up
our supply lines.

on the other hand,

if general von klinkerhoffen
finds out

that we have lent
our uniforms

to the british airmen
to help them escape,

we will be
in dead schtook.

what are you
trying to say?

if we help them
blow up the railway,

von klinkerhoffen's
train will not arrive,

so we won't have
to meet it,

so we won't have
to wear our uniforms,

so he won't know
we haven't got them.

and if you
don't cooperate,

we will shoot you,

and hide your corpses
in the copse.

when you're
winning the war,

what's one railway?

follow me.

( door knocker banging )

i am here
in obedience

to your orders,
herr flick.

you are
quite punctual.

only 12 seconds late.

come in.

stand over there.

yes, herr flick.

( lock clicks )

we do not wish to be
disturbed, do we?

you don't take
any chances, herr flick.

that all depends.

go into
the next chamber.

you are trembling.

are you afraid of me?

the streets are cold.

but you are
also perspiring.

your room is hot.

the room is 62.5�.
this is not hot.

i can hide nothing
from you, herr flick.

i am trembling
with uncertainty,

and perspiring
with anticipation.

this is not unusual.

take off your jacket.

yes, herr flick.

on the bed.

your jacket.

let down your hair.

yes, herr flick.

anything else?

not yet.

sit down.

the colonel is
behaving strangely.

do you think he will
find the painting

of the fallen madonna
with the big boobies?

it's hard to say.

the whole thing is...

in the air
at the moment.

are you telling me
the truth?

i promise.

i swear on my honor.

you can do what
you like to me.

we shall come
to that later.

come with me.

bring the germans.

yvette, you come too.

stand by for
a quick getaway.

michelle:
the railway line
runs in that cutting.

look, do you
really need me?

i have had no experience
in this sort of thing.

all i have ever blown up
is a balloon.

at a party.

- you will take these spades.
- what are these spades for?

to dig a hole under the sleeper
for the explosives.

what?!

follow me.

what's going on,
fairfax?

can't be gardening
at this time of night.

speaking for myself,
i'm jolly frightened.

me too.

dig a hole under
the sleeper here.

yvette, you have
the explosives?

i have it strapped
to my thigh.

- you are very brave, yvette.
- i know.

if you had tripped,
that cork could have
put an end to everything.

i have been thinking
of nothing else.

there is
a lot missing.

ah, yes...

you see my wife gave some
to my mother-in-law

and quite a lot
to the chickens.

you fool.

can i trust you
with nothing?

there might not be enough
to blow up the train.

in that case,
do not let us waste time.

let's go home.

no. wait here
with the germans.

i will crash the lorry
onto the line.

that and the explosives
will stop the train.

once you get an idea
into your head,

you don't let go,
do you?

wait here.

i am sorry for
the delay, colonel.

a little technical matter,
you understand.

at least we can have
a drink while we are waiting.

no, that is not gin.

what is it?

it's nitroglycerin.

nitro-- ah!

( birds squawking )

hans, you fool.

you have blown up
the railway.

isn't that what
we're here for?

( guns firing )

get down,
they're shooting at us.

no, it's the guards.

they are shooting
at the lorry.

i say.

it's all go,
isn't it?

we surrender.
we surren--

don't shoot!

do you think this
would be a good time

to tell them we are
german officers?

it would have been,

if you hadn't just
blown up the railway.

good evening.

you are probably wondering
what i am doing here.

( pounding )
edith, rene, yvette--

will nobody
attend to me?

coming mamma.

edith: ah!

what is monsieur leclerc
doing in your bed?

he was sleeping
in the cellar.

it is very windy
down there.

it is not much
better up here.

( coughing )

why have i been
left alone so long?

i had a headache,
fanny.

i was talking
to my daughter.

the germans have
arrested rene.

he is in the nick.
he will be shot!

i always knew it.

his eyes are
too close together.

you should have married
the butcher.

he liked you.

every time you
pass his shop,

he'd wave at you
with his chopper.

i have to think
of a plan to rescue him.

monsieur leclerc,

you have been
in prison many times.

can you help me?

of course, madame.

i can help you.

i have been in
many french nicks.

always the gigolo.

i am ready, madame.

lead on,
i will follow.

look at it
how you will,

this is a very
serious situation.

surely you know
somebody

who could order
our release?

there is only
one person

who could order
our release.

all: who?

me.

- ohh.
- rene?

if they shoot us,

at least i will die
by your side.

if you died
in front of me

i'd have
a better chance.

you do love me,
don't you?

of course
i love you, yvette.

of course.

what do you think
it will be like in heaven?

i don't suppose they will
let us do this for a start.

only the french
would have

boys and girls
in the same cell.

psst!

helga, how did you
get up there?

i am standing
on a peasant.

have you come
to get us out?

no, but i have
your uniforms back
from the cleaners.

where are they?

in the office,
ready for you when you get out.

but how do we
get out?

here is a hacksaw
for the bars.

thank you.

even without bars,
i can't get through
this little window.

i could.

yes, but you can't
sign the orders.

you're not
senior enough.

i could forge
your signature,

i've done it before.

now it's all
coming out.

general von--

stand still!

general von klinkerhoffen
is arriving by car.

he is most displeased.

somebody's blown up
the railway.

it was him.

telltale.

i must go,
somebody's coming.

ah!

the other way round!

oh yes!

as you are no doubt
all going to be shot,

you will no doubt
wish to see a priest.

come this way.

♪ there was a monk
of high renown ♪

♪ he took a nun
a-wooing ♪

♪ and when... ♪

it is i, leclerc.

i never
would have guessed.

what do you want?

i bring you good news.

your mother-in-law
and your wife

are coming
to see you.

this is good news?

also,

i have for you,
concealed on my person...

a hacksaw!

we already have
a hacksaw,

you silly old fool.

in that case, my son,

up yours!

( chants )

i have given them
my blessing.

let me out.

achoo!

- bless you.
- and you.

( chanting )

here, hide this.

another.

you have more visitors.

why are you
putting me in here

with these
smelly peasants?

to say goodbye to your
son-in-law.

goodbye.
let us get out.

oh, rene.

not now edith,
please.

we have a plan.

good, what is it?

oh heck!

we are up to here
with hacksaws!

i am down to there
with hacksaws.

it was
michelle's plan.

now listen carefully,
she said this only once.

rum war,
isn't it, fairfax?

i was just thinking,

if the jerries find us
dressed in civvies

it will take quite
a lot of explaining.

if they found us
in bed with each other

it would take
even more explaining.

carstairs,

are you a grammar
school boy?

how do you know?

wearing your socks
in bed.

come along,
time is up.

time to go home, mamma.

edith, i do not
wish to nitpick,

but why could not
yvette and i have escaped?

i mean, what kind
of a plan is it

that leaves me
still in the cooler?

it was michelle's plan.

the colonel, once he's
back in his office,

he'll sign the papers
for your release.

and what if he doesn't?

then michelle will tell
the gestapo

that it was the colonel
who nicked the painting

of the fallen madonna
with the big boobies.

what do you think, rene?

i once heard a proverb

about the best laid plans
of mice and men.

this plan was
definitely laid by a mouse.

you can say that again.

if it should
go wrong, rene,

i shall be
by your side.

and as they take aim

i shall sing
the marseillaise.

then i hope they are
quick on the trigger.

hans, it's good to be
back in the uniform.

we were very lucky
to get out of that jail.

you were very convincing
as rene's 85-year-old
mother-in-law.

you were very good
as my daughter.

i have good legs.

the prisoner is outside.

good, bring him in.

( yells )
bring him inside!

( chains rattle )

right,
you are dismissed.

rene, my old friend,
take a chair.

make yourself comfortable.

you are most kind.

after all, we are
all in this together.

i think some of us
are in a little deeper.

can we not get rid
of these things now?

not until i've signed
the release form.

i have a pen
in my pocket, here.

we must proceed
cautiously.

this morning already
i have signed

for the release of your wife
and mother-in-law.

- and yvette.
- and yvette.

he signed hers first.

shut up, hans!

we have to show someone
to general von klinkerhoffen.

what happens when
he has seen me?

we will tell him
you are a very small potato,

and that we are going
to shoot you or something

or hand you over
to the gestapo.

and then he will go away.
and all will be well.

i expect you feel
very relieved.

up to a point, yes.

general von
klinkerhoffen is here.

von klinkerhoffen--
is here!

ah!

quiet, hans.

my friend, we may have
to insult you a little,

call you pig and dog
and that sort of thing.

dear colonel, feel free.

general
von klinkerhoffen!

heil hitler.

- heil hitler.
- klup!

so this is
the ringleader.

no, the ringleader escaped.

this is just a poor,
unfortunate peasant

who was dragged in
against his will.

what he says
is perfectly true.

i am a small potato.

silence, you dog!

pig!

i will talk with him.

what are the names
of the other men

in the plot
to blow up my train?

let me think.
there was--

he doesn't know.
we've been through all that.

pig!

he knows nothing.

i think we should
release him.

i do not agree.

i think he should be executed
as an example.

don't you think that
is a little drastic, colonel?

quiet, hyena.

i must remember that.

you will be shot at dawn.

of course.

i will supervise
it personally.

good. how does
7:00 suit you?

later would be
better for me.

quiet, pig dog!

hyena.

frog face.

i shall be there
to see it done.

heil hitler.

- heil hitler.
- klup.

( door closes )

he has departed.

if you don't get me
out of this

i shall be forced to reveal
how you stole the painting,

how you lent your uniforms
to the british airmen

to help them escape,

and how you blew up
the railway.

i did not blow up
the railway.

he blew up the railway.

how did we get
in this mess?

i have an idea.

we will give
to the firing party

wooden bullets.

how is this
an improvement?

wooden bullets
disintegrate

10 foot from
the muzzles
of the rifles.

i see.

how close
do they stand?

not as close as that.

providing it
is not foggy.

tell me, what happens
when they fire?

you fall down.

do you really
think it is safe?

we won't know for sure
until you get up again.

i have come to see
the prisoner

to say my last
farewell.

so many goodbyes.
you are number six.

- this way.
- ( keys rattle )

yet another
visitor for you.

maria!

oh, rene!

five minutes only.

maria.

my little cabbage.

rene, my big parsnip.

it is so comforting
to hold you in my arms again.

i have something
for you.

i have something
for you too, but...

you go first.

i will never let
the firing squad
shoot you.

take this ring.

you think i can
bribe them?

inside there is a pill.

take it between those
strong white teeth
and crush it,

and you will be gone.

this is not the kind
of escape i had in mind.

no, but you must use it
if all else fails.

i promise.

there is only one more
thing i can give you.

oh, maria.

no, there is
no time for that.

what is there
time for then?

( whispers )
here it is,

a hacksaw.

it is still warm.

i don't want
to be difficult,

but could you goosestep

just a little
more slowly, please?

did you get
the dummy bullets?

yes, here they are.

do they look exactly
like the real bullets?

yes, i brought the real
ones to show you.

- good morning, colonel.
- good morning.

- morning captain.
- morning.

a sad occasion.

yes, but the dog
deserves it.

pig.

the bullets.
thank you.

hans, he has
taken both boxes.

what if he loads the real
bullets into the rifles?

oh dear.

do you think
we should warn rene?

there's no point
in worrying him.

he has a lot
on his mind.

sergeant,
here are the bullets.

load the rifles.

port arms.

all prepared?

everything is going
according to plan.

very nearly.

do not waste time.
i have to leave.

oh.

it is cold.

why have you
brought me here?

the angels are going
to take my husband away.

the last time,
it was the bailiffs.

this is a very sad
occasion for me, rene.

yes, i feel the same way,
lieutenant.

you french,

you are so brave.

your mother-in-law
has not shed one
single tear.

this i believe.

what about my wife?

she is like a rock.

she says she
is going to sing
the marseillaise.

do you wish
a blindfold?

earplugs would be better.

may i shake your hand?

of course.

you will find it
round the back.

can we get on
with this please?

i nearly forgot.

so they have
something to aim at.

you germans,

such sticklers
for accuracy.

bye.

now?

no, i will give
you the signal.

is that it?

no, i am
composing myself.

front rank, kneel.

present your rifles.

now.

a one, two,
three, four!

( concertina music plays )

♪ arise, ye children
of the marseillaise... ♪

( singing continues )

ready?

take aim.

fire!

( women gasp )

( mamma continues
singing )

♪ our blood shall
not be shed in-- ♪

why have we stopped?

it is over.

good.

let that be
a lesson to you.

the relatives may
remove the body.

heil hitler!

- heil hitler.
- klup.

you may escort me
to my car.

lieutenant:
front row up!

lieutenant:
right turn.

lieutenant:
by the left.

do you think
he's all right?

if he is, it'll be
drinks on the house.

if not, we find
another cafe.

my poor,
brave rene.

edith.

he's still alive,
he's trying to speak.

dear rene,
are you in pain?

keep quiet, these may be
his last brave words.

listen carefully,

i shall say this
only once.

my bum is on a thistle.

( theme music playing )