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1
00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:03,375
FELICIA: Oh, my God,
we've been to 1,500 places,
2
00:00:03,378 --> 00:00:04,878
and my feet are frickin'
killing me.
3
00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:06,880
For the love of Larry Bird,
please tell me
4
00:00:06,882 --> 00:00:08,182
you don't hate this one, too.
5
00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:10,295
It is so cute.
6
00:00:10,302 --> 00:00:11,972
Decent closet space.
7
00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:13,760
Water pressure's wild.
You basically have
8
00:00:13,764 --> 00:00:15,564
a mini Niagara Falls in there.
9
00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:18,727
-I think I love it.
-All right, here we go!
10
00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:21,437
You're an adult now,
grown-ass lady.
11
00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:23,478
Wow. I can't believe
this is gonna be mine.
12
00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:25,112
I'm really gonna live here.
13
00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:26,648
Like, I'm gonna wake up here
in the morning,
14
00:00:26,652 --> 00:00:29,072
you know, and-and make
a little cup of coffee,
15
00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:32,741
and... and just sit here
and enjoy the view.
16
00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:38,582
But also, I actually really like
it when the blinds are down.
17
00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:40,500
I feel like it just has
a nice, mysterious vibe.
18
00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:42,289
-SAMANTHA: Yeah.
-BRIT: Yeah.
19
00:00:44,461 --> 00:00:46,381
Yeah.
20
00:00:49,925 --> 00:00:52,385
This ice cream's
your higher power?
21
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:53,966
-Why not?
-Okay.
22
00:00:53,971 --> 00:00:55,471
I love it. I love it.
My-my Bat Mitzvah theme
23
00:00:55,472 --> 00:00:56,642
was Ben & Jerry's flavors.
24
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,270
Weird impulse
to want to lick your God.
25
00:00:58,267 --> 00:01:00,557
Also, can I just be honest?
26
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:02,440
I feel like you can do better
than this flavor.
27
00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:04,357
Like, what even is it?
28
00:01:04,355 --> 00:01:06,225
It's maple pecan bacon.
It was my dad's favorite.
29
00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:07,823
Samantha.
30
00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:09,398
No. Okay, it's not
a dead dad, thing, okay?
31
00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:11,283
It's just
it's dead dad adjacent.
32
00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:14,490
Your dad was very,
very fallible.
33
00:01:14,491 --> 00:01:16,291
He clearly had terrible taste
in ice cream.
34
00:01:16,285 --> 00:01:17,905
-(scoffs)
-He left you and your mom.
35
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:19,911
Don't make me go through
the whole speech again, please.
36
00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,793
-We're both better than that.
-Okay, I won't. I won't.
37
00:01:21,789 --> 00:01:25,089
But, you know, if I let go
of him, what's left?
38
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:28,255
Well, that's exactly the point.
39
00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:30,505
Babe, space.
40
00:01:32,301 --> 00:01:34,471
You will have the space
41
00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:36,429
to really let something else in.
42
00:01:37,723 --> 00:01:40,103
Yeah, it just...
It better not be God.
43
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,890
She's really not for me.
44
00:01:41,893 --> 00:01:45,563
Don't put pressure on yourself
to figure it all out.
45
00:01:45,564 --> 00:01:48,614
Just leave it open
46
00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:50,988
and allow it to come in.
47
00:01:50,985 --> 00:01:53,355
Higher powers are like
pornography.
48
00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:55,663
You'll know it when you see it.
49
00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:58,287
-What if it is pornography?
-Oh, my God.
50
00:01:58,285 --> 00:02:00,945
-You're insane.
No, it's not. It's not. -(laughing)
51
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:02,664
I want mint chocolate chip.
Come on.
52
00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:06,134
So when am I gonna see
this apartment of yours?
53
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:08,246
Not for a while.
54
00:02:08,252 --> 00:02:09,672
All right?
'Cause I know you're gonna ask
55
00:02:09,670 --> 00:02:11,510
about murders and mold,
56
00:02:11,506 --> 00:02:13,676
and the landlord'll get
super annoyed and kick me out
57
00:02:13,675 --> 00:02:15,295
before I even get
one night's sleep there.
58
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:17,432
-Samantha.
-Mom.
59
00:02:17,429 --> 00:02:21,179
I'm gonna respect the boundaries
you are setting right now.
60
00:02:22,351 --> 00:02:25,481
Wow. Thank you.
61
00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:28,478
If you ever, for any reason,
62
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:31,152
need to come back,
you always have a home here.
63
00:02:34,905 --> 00:02:36,775
Thank you, Mom.
64
00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:43,577
Okay, the movers will be by
later for the rest of this.
65
00:02:43,579 --> 00:02:45,709
-Okay.
-And I love you.
66
00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:47,167
Love you, too.
67
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,167
-Bye.
-Bye.
68
00:02:49,168 --> 00:02:51,168
(Carol sniffles)
69
00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:57,719
♪ ♪
70
00:02:57,719 --> 00:02:59,969
So, when does
this runner's high kick in?
71
00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:02,311
Oh, I don't... I don't run.
It's terrible for the knees.
72
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:04,307
-Why the hell am I doing it?
-Because you refused
73
00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:06,519
-to do squats.
-Oh, yeah.
74
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,730
-Uh, how-how is she?
-She's good.
75
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:12,480
She's Carol. Actually,
she's kind of like Carol 2.0.
76
00:03:12,484 --> 00:03:13,944
Kind of seems like
she's actually trying
77
00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:16,574
to be better, at least a little.
(panting)
78
00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:19,371
-Oh.
-(sighs)
79
00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:20,576
Maybe I should call her.
Should I call her?
80
00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:22,405
No, Bob, you shouldn't call her.
81
00:03:22,411 --> 00:03:24,661
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
-It's got to be on her to call you.
82
00:03:24,663 --> 00:03:26,713
-You know what I mean? Yeah.
-Yeah, yeah.
83
00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:28,206
Maybe just a text?
Like an article she might like,
84
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:29,498
-or a recipe.
-No.
85
00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:31,131
-No.
-No contact.
86
00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:32,798
I don't want to do that, either.
87
00:03:32,796 --> 00:03:35,836
-All right, well, um,
how do you feel? -The same.
88
00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:37,341
-Yeah? Okay.
-Yeah.
89
00:03:37,341 --> 00:03:38,801
But, hey, maybe next time,
we go see a movie.
90
00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:40,302
You know?
Maybe we're movie friends.
91
00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:42,013
I don't ever want
to do this again.
92
00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:44,473
Okay, well, uh, as long
as we can keep hanging out,
93
00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:46,394
that'd be great, you know?
94
00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:50,983
I just really enjoy having a
stepdaughter figure in my life.
95
00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:53,651
-A stepdaughter figure?
-Yeah. (laughs)
96
00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:56,320
Come here, Bob.
97
00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:58,159
-Thank you.
-I'm sorry I'm so sweaty.
98
00:03:58,155 --> 00:04:01,365
No, actually, you're not. You
did four minutes and 18 seconds.
99
00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:05,196
But you know what I always say--
"No pain, some gain."
100
00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:07,873
-Yeah.
-Huh.
101
00:04:07,873 --> 00:04:10,043
ALL:
The courage to change the things we can
102
00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:12,711
and the wisdom
to know the difference.
103
00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:14,631
MINDY:
Keep coming back.
104
00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:16,209
It works if you work it.
105
00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:17,514
I know.
106
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:28,637
So, I know we don't get speeches
for 60 days,
107
00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:31,273
but just want to say,
I'm here to stay.
108
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,481
-Not getting rid of me.
-Mm.
109
00:04:33,482 --> 00:04:36,402
I have nine years,
not that we're comparing.
110
00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:38,361
Feels like we're comparing.
111
00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:41,071
Sometimes a healthy competition
is... it's a good thing.
112
00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:42,572
JAMES:
Uh, I don't know about that.
113
00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:45,164
-Hi.
-Hey. Welcome back.
114
00:04:45,159 --> 00:04:47,199
-Thanks.
-It's nice to see you here.
115
00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:48,964
It's really nice to be here.
116
00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:50,705
JAMES:
I don't know what it is, but
117
00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:52,457
I've never felt more connected
to people.
118
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,129
Today felt different.
119
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:56,417
Yeah, it felt different.
It definitely did, yeah.
120
00:04:57,672 --> 00:04:59,842
It-it didn't, actually.
I really wanted...
121
00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:02,261
I wanted to feel something,
but I just felt sweaty palms.
122
00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:04,600
That's 'cause you stand
next to Mark in the circle.
123
00:05:04,596 --> 00:05:06,676
You ate all the cookies,
but didn't leave any money
124
00:05:06,681 --> 00:05:08,771
in the basket? Come on.
125
00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:11,097
What's the point of...
126
00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:13,232
Uh, hi.
127
00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:16,900
Hi. I am, uh, really sorry
128
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:18,860
about everything that happened
after Dean's funeral.
129
00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:20,820
Yeah, you came at me
pretty hard.
130
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:23,321
I did, didn't I? Yeah.
131
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:27,163
I'm sorry. That day kind
of spun me out, and, uh...
132
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:30,040
Turns out I have really
shitty coping mechanisms, so...
133
00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:33,458
Yeah, I have the same ones,
but I appreciate the apology.
134
00:05:33,457 --> 00:05:35,037
-Cool.
-Cool.
135
00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:38,673
Can we, um, start over?
136
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:41,382
Hi. I'm James.
137
00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:43,393
Sam. Nice to meet you.
138
00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:45,295
-Hmm.
-Congrats on 60 days.
139
00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:46,763
-Thank you.
-Mm.
140
00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:48,433
Yeah. Friends can hug, right?
141
00:05:48,431 --> 00:05:49,981
I think
I've seen friends hug before.
142
00:05:49,975 --> 00:05:51,515
Yeah, of course, of course.
143
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:54,098
Oh, look at you two.
144
00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:57,694
Back on your
heteronormative bullshit.
145
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,577
(doorbell rings)
146
00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:14,287
Hi.
147
00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:17,501
-Hey. Yo.
-Uh, Happy Divorce Day.
148
00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:20,712
Happy Divorce Day.
149
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,054
(chuckles softly)
150
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:23,968
-So, uh...
-Hey, uh,
151
00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:25,927
before we sign the papers,
you want a little toursky?
152
00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:27,257
See the house you were
supposed to live in?
153
00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:29,102
I kid.
154
00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:30,217
But seriously, though,
I mean, the bathroom
155
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:31,473
-has a bidet.
-I don't doubt it.
156
00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:33,604
I mean, Joel,
this house is gorgeous.
157
00:06:33,602 --> 00:06:35,942
-Thank you.
-The porch is so cute.
158
00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:37,767
-Yeah.
-Look at these plants
159
00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:39,572
-Yeah.
-and bespoke detail.
160
00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:42,106
-Right? Came out good, I think.
-Yeah.
161
00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:43,110
Hey, do you ever think
about painting the door?
162
00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:44,781
Yeah, you would have
chosen orange.
163
00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:47,569
-Then we'd be in hot water
with the HOA. -See?
164
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,374
Designing this house together
totally would have done us in.
165
00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:51,077
-(laughs)
-Yeah.
166
00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:56,291
So, should we sign the papers?
167
00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:59,421
Sure. Yeah. After you.
168
00:07:03,298 --> 00:07:04,918
And sign here, too, right?
169
00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:08,886
Joel? You okay?
170
00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:10,557
Was it me?
171
00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:14,733
Is it my fault
that we didn't work out?
172
00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:17,902
(sighs)
173
00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:20,436
Wasn't you.
174
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,690
I guess it all comes down to...
I wasn't ready yet.
175
00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:25,703
And I needed
to live more and grow up,
176
00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:28,815
and I had no business
being married yet.
177
00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:31,993
Not to you, not to anyone.
178
00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:34,913
You know how we had that joke
that if I had a chance
179
00:07:34,913 --> 00:07:36,963
with Michael B. Jordan,
all bets would be off?
180
00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:38,626
That was more your joke
than our joke, but, yeah.
181
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:40,455
Uh, the point is...
182
00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:43,086
...I wouldn't have
married him either.
183
00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:46,089
I really hated hurting you.
184
00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:48,511
And I've been
punishing myself for it.
185
00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:50,760
But it just... it wasn't time.
186
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:55,055
-I shouldn't have said yes.
-No, this is on me, too.
187
00:07:55,058 --> 00:07:56,888
I knew something wasn't right.
188
00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:58,443
All the warning signs
were there.
189
00:07:58,436 --> 00:07:59,936
I just didn't check in.
190
00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:01,478
You know, I just...
191
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,481
I ran away with things,
192
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:05,653
and I'm sorry.
193
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,652
Thank you.
194
00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:11,487
(sighs)
Well,
195
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:14,081
at least you got
a really nice house out of it.
196
00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:17,247
Yeah. I mean, I really ran away
with a fantasy, though.
197
00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:18,827
-Like, I put marble everywhere.
-Oh.
198
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:20,792
You know that bidet
that you liked?
199
00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:22,542
I put one in every bathroom.
200
00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:24,004
Oh, well,
no one is mad at a bidet.
201
00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:26,013
I'm a little mad
at these bidets.
202
00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:27,875
They were several
thousand dollars, from Japan.
203
00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:29,472
They say "hi" to you.
204
00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:32,137
(laughs)
Well, that's it.
205
00:08:32,136 --> 00:08:34,386
We are officially divorced.
206
00:08:34,389 --> 00:08:35,769
-Should we celebrate?
-Um...
207
00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:37,135
-We should celebrate.
-Okay.
208
00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:38,562
I can cook us dinner.
209
00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:39,889
I actually have two ovens
'cause I thought
210
00:08:39,894 --> 00:08:41,404
we were gonna do a ton
of hosting,
211
00:08:41,395 --> 00:08:43,105
but we never even had
a housewarming party.
212
00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:46,276
Well, let's have
a divorce party.
213
00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:49,816
Yes, we could just have
a proper goodbye to all of this.
214
00:08:49,821 --> 00:08:52,741
Sure. I accidentally just bought
a case of probiotic soda
215
00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:54,621
from Costco, and I've
been meaning to unload it,
216
00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:56,077
so that actually
works really well.
217
00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:57,747
Oh, and I've got, like,
40 frozen pot pies
218
00:08:57,746 --> 00:08:59,076
-in the freezer.
-Oh, I'm gonna stop you there.
219
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,080
-We're gonna order food. Yeah.
-Order food, yeah.
220
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:02,002
That's what I was thinking,
too. Like, we can do that.
221
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,000
FELICIA:
Let me just check
222
00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:05,001
on that real quick, okay?
223
00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:07,377
Hey.
224
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,920
-Hey, beautiful.
-Hi.
225
00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:11,934
-I brought you
some hot chocolate. -Huh?
226
00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:13,296
-Mm-hmm.
-You never come in during the middle of the day.
227
00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:15,183
What's going on?
228
00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:17,140
Uh, can't a guy just bring
something sweet to his sweetie?
229
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:19,270
Thank you so much.
230
00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:20,977
-That was very sweet of you.
-(laughs)
231
00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:23,017
But, uh, you know,
I got to get to Mrs. Harris.
232
00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:24,561
She falls asleep in the chair if
I don't get to her immediately.
233
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,274
-So...
-Oh.
234
00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:27,944
But I'll see you at Brit
and Joel's tonight, right?
235
00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:30,032
Yeah, for sure. There's, um...
236
00:09:30,028 --> 00:09:32,818
There's actually something
I want to talk to you about.
237
00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:35,332
Oh. Mmm.
238
00:09:35,325 --> 00:09:37,405
-See you tonight?
-Yeah.
239
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:40,370
-Bye, Petey.
-Bye.
240
00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:42,831
He is such
a little honeybutt, right?
241
00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:44,752
-Let me see your hands.
-What?
242
00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:47,251
Let me see your hands.
243
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:49,883
Ay, mami, you need
to go get a manicure, stat.
244
00:09:49,881 --> 00:09:51,841
-I just got these done.
You don't like the plaid? -No.
245
00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:54,221
That man is proposing
to you tonight.
246
00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:55,179
-No.
-Sí.
247
00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:56,348
What?
248
00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:57,556
-Mm-hmm.
-No.
249
00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:59,425
-Mm-hmm.
-You don't know
250
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:00,772
what you're talking about, Tina.
That's crazy.
251
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,937
Bitch, I've been
engaged four times.
252
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,306
-You have?
-And divorced twice.
253
00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:06,732
-Oh.
-I'd do red.
254
00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:08,571
It really makes diamonds pop.
255
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:16,908
Hey.
256
00:10:16,908 --> 00:10:18,868
-Alex?
-(muffled music through headphones)
257
00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,198
Alex?
258
00:10:20,203 --> 00:10:22,123
-Oh, hey.
-Hey. Uh,
259
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,042
where is everybody? I thought
there was a staff meeting.
260
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,040
No, I cancelled that.
261
00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:30,258
Um, listen,
are you sure you're okay?
262
00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:32,295
'Cause you've never canceled
a meeting before.
263
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:35,008
Maybe I'm a just boss
that's excited for the weekend.
264
00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:37,719
-Alex, come on.
-All right.
265
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:40,600
No. You know what?
I needed a break.
266
00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:42,888
I come in here every day
and I have to see you.
267
00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:45,192
And all I want to do is
be in a relationship with you,
268
00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:47,186
but I know that's a dead end.
269
00:10:47,188 --> 00:10:50,898
So, this just all sucks,
and I don't know what to do.
270
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:53,440
I-I get it. I do.
271
00:10:53,444 --> 00:10:56,034
I-I have to avoid
eye contact with you
272
00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:58,410
every time you walk by my desk
to go to the bathroom.
273
00:10:58,408 --> 00:11:00,948
-Have you been drinking a lot
of coffee, by the way? -No.
274
00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:03,252
I'm actually doing this
whole water thing now. It...
275
00:11:03,246 --> 00:11:04,746
-Uh, that's good.
-Yeah.
276
00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:06,167
Even strangers
on the street tell me
277
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,706
I look severely
dehydrated, so...
278
00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:09,669
Uh, I-I don't mean to be weird,
279
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:12,379
but how are we gonna
get past this
280
00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:14,380
and continue to work together?
281
00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:16,632
Yeah, I just...
282
00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:19,304
I really love this job,
you know?
283
00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:20,764
I get paid to write.
284
00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:23,353
So...
285
00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:25,309
if someone has to leave, it's...
286
00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:27,480
it's not gonna be me.
287
00:11:31,274 --> 00:11:33,154
FELICIA:
He can't fire you.
288
00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:35,651
I mean, I don't think so,
but you never know.
289
00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:37,613
I really don't want to go back
to the grocery store.
290
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:38,824
Well, I'm just
putting it out there.
291
00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:40,913
I did appreciate the discount.
292
00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:42,449
-So, what are you gonna do?
-I don't know.
293
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:44,542
Send out résumés, pray to a god
I don't believe in?
294
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,407
Wow. This is, like,
a real house.
295
00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:47,964
It's really nice.
296
00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:49,377
I guess he is good
at building stuff.
297
00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:50,785
-Huh.
-His art is terrible, though.
298
00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:52,383
-Mm.
-Hey, uh, thanks for driving me.
299
00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:54,008
Oh, you're welcome. I just...
300
00:11:54,005 --> 00:11:55,915
I really can't be alone
with Pete right now.
301
00:11:55,924 --> 00:11:58,474
-But you love Pete.
-I do love Pete.
302
00:11:58,468 --> 00:12:00,548
But I also love
not being married to Pete.
303
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,683
I'm a free spirit.
Like, that time
304
00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:04,810
I almost got that bird tattooed
on my lower back,
305
00:12:04,807 --> 00:12:06,307
but then I backed out
because I can't commit.
306
00:12:06,309 --> 00:12:08,059
Yeah, I remember.
That was a really long night.
307
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:09,771
There's just so much stuff
I want to do, know you?
308
00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:11,441
Like, I really want
to go to New Zealand
309
00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:13,649
and, like, be on
Wheel of Fortune.
310
00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:16,820
I just don't want
to be stuck forever.
311
00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:19,659
♪ Spend my whole check
at Whole Foods ♪
312
00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:21,196
♪ Yeah, she still
texting old dudes ♪
313
00:12:21,199 --> 00:12:24,079
♪ I need gas money like... ♪
314
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:24,987
I basically built all this,
which was nice,
315
00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:26,704
'cause I was alone so much,
316
00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:28,624
so hearing the drill
was kind of nice
317
00:12:28,623 --> 00:12:31,003
to get away from that kind of
crippling silence, you know?
318
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,500
-Yes.
-And then, oh, also, um,
319
00:12:32,502 --> 00:12:34,592
if you look at this end table,
320
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:36,757
you'll notice
there are no screws or nails
321
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,756
or glue anywhere, so...
322
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,968
Huh. That's interesting.
323
00:12:40,969 --> 00:12:42,719
I had no idea that was a thing.
324
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:45,430
Oh, my God. This is in
the kanawa tsugi style?
325
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:48,101
You know kanawa tsugi?
326
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:50,141
Do I know about traditional
Japanese wood-joinery?
327
00:12:50,144 --> 00:12:52,314
Of course I do.
328
00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:54,523
I took a couple
woodworking classes in college.
329
00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:55,984
-I can't believe
you know about kanawa tsugi. -Yeah.
330
00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:57,364
It's like our friendship
was meant to be, dude.
331
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,320
-It's crazy. It's unbelievable.
-(laughing)
332
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:00,740
Are those real butter crackers?
333
00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:02,738
Yeah.
334
00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:06,410
I don't eat crackers,
but I need to not be here.
335
00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:08,661
Also, I mean, how about this?
It's, like,
336
00:13:08,663 --> 00:13:09,963
we could be in our own
buddy cop movie or something.
337
00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:11,706
Right? Right? Right?
338
00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:12,998
-All right,
what's your favorite color? -Uh... okay.
339
00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:14,291
-On the count of three?
-Sure.
340
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:15,844
One, two, three.
341
00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:17,377
BOTH:
Blue, but sometimes green!
342
00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:18,970
-Dude, what?
That's unbelievable. -Oh, my God.
343
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:20,755
JAMES:
I was... I was gonna wear a green shirt today.
344
00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:23,928
(indistinct chatter)
345
00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:25,848
(sighs)
346
00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:32,396
-Hey, Joel.
-Oh, no.
347
00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:34,475
-Don't worry.
I'm not gonna jump you. -Okay.
348
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,110
I mean, not with
this many witness around.
349
00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:38,527
-Right. Yes.
-I'm kidding.
350
00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:40,316
-You're joking. Good.
-I'm really sorry about that.
351
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:43,200
I was in a bad place,
if that wasn't obvious.
352
00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:46,697
-Yeah. No, I kind of
picked up on that. -Right.
353
00:13:46,701 --> 00:13:49,911
Listen, I don't know why
you'd want to be my friend
354
00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:52,172
-after that,
but if you did, we could... -No. Sam, stop.
355
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:54,075
It's not like
it's the first insane thing
356
00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:57,553
I've ever seen you do, so...
357
00:13:57,545 --> 00:14:00,125
-Let's just...
-Want to eat something?
358
00:14:00,131 --> 00:14:02,341
-I would love to do that.
You want cookies? -Yeah. Yeah.
359
00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:05,891
-Oh.
-Oh, finally. (laughing)
360
00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:08,767
-(sighs)
-I've been hoping to get a moment alone with you.
361
00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:12,935
-Oh, come here.
-Wait. No, no, no. No.
362
00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:14,765
This cannot be happening
in front of a bidet.
363
00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:16,901
What?
364
00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:19,978
-Are you proposing?
-(laughs) No.
365
00:14:19,984 --> 00:14:21,364
(laughing loudly)
366
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,110
Are you?
367
00:14:23,112 --> 00:14:24,662
-What? No.
-What?
368
00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:26,525
What? Why have you
been acting so weird?
369
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,662
(sighs)
Okay.
370
00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:31,449
I have you some news
I want to share with you.
371
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:34,870
Okay.
372
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:39,054
I, um... I got an offer from
a private practice in Michigan.
373
00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:41,375
-Wow.
-What?
374
00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:43,720
Okay, yeah.
375
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:46,756
Here I am thinking you were
gonna ask me for forever, but...
376
00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:49,061
you're breaking up with me.
377
00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:52,515
Oh, no, no. No, I don't
want to break up with you.
378
00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:54,597
No. I-I know it's a lot,
379
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:57,772
and I know
we got to think about Zacky,
380
00:14:57,772 --> 00:15:03,192
but I found a place
near a good school, big yard.
381
00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:06,494
So, do you want
to say "screw it"?
382
00:15:06,489 --> 00:15:09,739
Try it for a year,
go on an adventure?
383
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:14,751
Uh, um, uh...
384
00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:16,917
I-I just need...
385
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:19,166
-FEMALE VOICE: Hello.
-(both exclaim)
386
00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:21,128
(water squirting)
387
00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:23,339
-Um, no, I got
to get out of here. -Uh...
388
00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:26,049
-(door opens)
-(sighs) -Hello.
389
00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:27,840
(indistinct chatter)
390
00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:29,684
I really need some air, Sammy.
391
00:15:32,306 --> 00:15:35,306
(scoffs, sighs)
392
00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:38,269
-Shit.
-What's wrong?
393
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:40,941
You guys, that son of a bitch
is moving to Michigan.
394
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,860
-He is?
-Yeah. He took a job there.
395
00:15:42,859 --> 00:15:44,859
What, am I gonna go
to the New England of the West?
396
00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:47,031
-They haven't even won
one frickin' Super Bowl. -Um...
397
00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:49,619
-I'm divorced.
-Yeah.
398
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:50,865
I'm gonna have to click
the box that says "divorced"
399
00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:52,537
when I fill out forms.
400
00:15:52,535 --> 00:15:53,995
If I play "Never Have I Ever,"
and they say,
401
00:15:53,995 --> 00:15:56,325
"Hey, have you ever been
divorced?," I'm gonna drink.
402
00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:57,790
Okay, yeah, but you never have
to play "Never Have I Ever"
403
00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,210
-'cause we're too old for that.
-Right.
404
00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:01,038
But I feel so young.
405
00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:03,133
-Okay.
-I mean, my life is complete freedom.
406
00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:05,919
I could do anything. Uh, I could
hike the Appalachian Trail,
407
00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:08,223
-go see the mountains.
-Ooh, now that I could get into.
408
00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:09,717
And everyone's always saying
409
00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:11,509
they find God in the mountains,
you know,
410
00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:13,142
-so maybe that could be
my higher power. -BRIT: Wait a minute.
411
00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:15,139
What's happening here?
This is my freedom fantasy.
412
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:17,061
No, actually, this is my
"boyfriend's moving" freak-out.
413
00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:18,639
-Oh, that's right. I'm sorry.
-Yeah.
414
00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:21,734
-I think I'm tired.
-You guys want to call it?
415
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:26,191
♪ It's a mark ♪
416
00:16:26,194 --> 00:16:29,244
♪ I've taken... ♪
417
00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:36,866
♪ And I will carry it with me
for a long, long... ♪
418
00:16:36,871 --> 00:16:39,751
All right, sleep well, Sammy.
419
00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:41,749
-Love you.
-Love you.
420
00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:44,001
Our problems belong
to Tomorrow Us.
421
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,673
(laughing): Yeah.
422
00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:47,301
Hey, happy new place.
423
00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:48,718
-Thank you. I love you both.
-Love you.
424
00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:50,676
-Love you.
-Bye.
425
00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:18,195
(sighs)
426
00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:22,419
Oh, come on.
427
00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:33,143
(laughing)
428
00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:04,461
♪ Ain't all right ♪
429
00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:07,208
♪ The hardness of my head ♪
430
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:14,837
♪ Now close your eyes
and spin around ♪
431
00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:18,764
♪ Say, hard times
you could find, it ♪
432
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:20,894
♪ Ain't the way that you want ♪
433
00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:27,936
♪ But it's still all right ♪
434
00:18:31,319 --> 00:18:34,819
♪ They say you learn a lot
out there ♪
435
00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:38,202
♪ How to scorch and burn ♪
436
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:41,450
♪ Only have
to bury your friends ♪
437
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:44,174
♪ Then you'll find
it gets worse ♪
438
00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:47,165
♪ Standing out on a ledge ♪
439
00:18:47,168 --> 00:18:50,378
♪ With no way to get down ♪
440
00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:53,879
♪ You start praying
for wings to grow ♪
441
00:18:57,637 --> 00:19:00,767
♪ Oh, baby, just let go ♪
442
00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:37,126
♪ Hey, tonight,
if you think about it ♪
443
00:19:40,763 --> 00:19:42,813
♪ Remembering all the times ♪
444
00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:45,137
♪ That you pointed out ♪
445
00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:48,442
♪ Say, the glass is clear,
but all this fear ♪
446
00:19:48,437 --> 00:19:51,147
♪ Starts a-leaving a mark ♪
447
00:19:56,278 --> 00:19:59,948
♪ Your idle hands
are all that stands ♪
448
00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:02,079
♪ From your time in the dark ♪
449
00:20:06,122 --> 00:20:09,502
♪ But it's still all right. ♪
450
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:19,803
-(church bells chime)
-Hi.
451
00:20:19,802 --> 00:20:22,052
Oh, my God.
452
00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:23,764
Please tell me
you didn't relapse.
453
00:20:23,764 --> 00:20:25,354
No, I didn't.
Why would you ask me that?
454
00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:27,389
Babe, you slept on a roof.
455
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:28,773
I actually didn't sleep at all.
456
00:20:28,769 --> 00:20:31,019
I came up here, and I...
457
00:20:31,021 --> 00:20:34,111
I don't know.
Everything kind of fell away.
458
00:20:34,108 --> 00:20:36,238
And I felt really small
459
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:38,605
and kind of insignificant.
460
00:20:38,612 --> 00:20:41,202
-But in cool way, you know?
-Mm-hmm. Yeah.
461
00:20:41,198 --> 00:20:43,078
And then my pen got hot
and I started writing,
462
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,575
and I couldn't stop.
463
00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:47,287
You found it.
464
00:20:47,288 --> 00:20:49,868
I'm really proud of you.
465
00:20:49,874 --> 00:20:51,754
Thank you.
466
00:20:53,127 --> 00:20:54,997
What the hell is that bag?
467
00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:57,344
-Oh! Your housewarming presents.
-(laughs)
468
00:20:57,339 --> 00:20:59,969
Okay, so, you know,
addiction and anxiety.
469
00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:01,507
-You got IBS.
-I have IBS.
470
00:21:01,510 --> 00:21:03,390
Yeah, same.
471
00:21:03,387 --> 00:21:06,137
I don't think you're ready
to keep anything alive yet.
472
00:21:06,140 --> 00:21:07,600
-That is fake.
-Okay.
473
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,770
You don't have to water it.
474
00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:11,769
In case you wanted to go red.
475
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:13,811
Really?
476
00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:16,284
This is... Oh.
477
00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:18,735
This is for your...
upper lip hair.
478
00:21:18,736 --> 00:21:20,276
It's not really housewarming.
479
00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:22,569
I just didn't know
how to tell you.
480
00:21:22,573 --> 00:21:24,703
And... earplugs
481
00:21:24,700 --> 00:21:27,330
for the guy upstairs
blasting Tom Petty.
482
00:21:27,328 --> 00:21:30,498
-What guy?
-I don't know. There's always a guy.
483
00:21:30,498 --> 00:21:32,328
Well, thank you.
484
00:21:32,333 --> 00:21:33,503
You're welcome.
485
00:21:33,501 --> 00:21:36,301
I want to stay up here.
486
00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:39,215
-Maybe I would look good
with red hair. -Let's do it!
487
00:21:39,215 --> 00:21:39,915
-SAMANTHA: Really?
-Yeah. I'll do my eyebrows.
488
00:21:39,965 --> 00:21:44,515
Repair and Synchronization by
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