All language subtitles for Single Drunk Female s02e09 Coming Clean.eng

-Good?
-Very, yeah.

So, where's Bob tonight?

Um... with his kids.

-Mm-hmm.
-Cool.

(quietly):
Do it now.

So...

I...

officially apologize.

I-I had a feeling
that might be coming,

'cause, you know, the creepy
candles and the chicken.

Uh, yes,
it's why I invited you.

I should not have read
your fourth step.

Those are your private thoughts,
and that was wrong of me.

Well... thank you.

Apology accepted.

-Thank you.
-Yeah.

That's-- We can--
I'll just do the dishes now.

-Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
-Yeah.

Oh.

Whoa.

♪ ♪

Yeah, that's good. Okay.

-Mom, I got to go.
-(Mindy speaking indistinctly)

I'm downtown.

-I'll call you later. Yeah.
-MINDY: Thank you all for being here.

Love you. Bye.

It's actually
a special day for me.

Today is
my nine-year sober-versary.

-(applause)
-(chanting): Mindy, Mindy.

Stop, stop. You're too much.

-(laughter)
-No, don't stop. Never stop.

It's fun.

I get a ton of likes
on social media

because normies love this shit.

-(laughter)
-But...

honestly, this day is
pretty triggering for me,

and I'm a woman who could sit
through the Saw franchise

-without blinking.
-(laughter)

It forces me
to think about who I was

before I was able to be honest
with myself

and everyone around me.

It took so long to gather
the courage to come out,

especially to my parents.

And alcohol was like
this magic potion

that would make the self-hatred
and fear go away,

but I knew that
my addiction was gonna kill me.

And when I finally came out
to my parents,

their reaction wasn't perfect,

but it was like a weight
had been lifted off of me.

Being honest was
what allowed me to get sober

and like myself.

-And who would've thought
that's something women can do? -(laughter)

-(applause)
-Thanks, everyone.

-Oh, and follow me on Instagram.
-(laughter)

Damn.

-That was amazing.
-(chuckles)

You know, I don't talk to my
family about any of this stuff.

We only talk about
church gossip,

401(k)s and my uncle Kevin.

I really appreciate
what you said up there.

Of course.

♪ ♪

(indistinct chatter)

(sighs)

-Hello.
-SAMANTHA: Darby, hey.

Hey, I, uh, I know
you don't really do advice,

so I'm just gonna say some stuff
and you can listen, okay?

-(sighs) Okay.
-Okay, great.

So, here's the thing,
I'm thinking

I will not tell Alex
what happened,

'cause I am pretty sure I'm
gonna get the "it's over" text

-any minute.
-Oh, I get it.

And you think that, like,
if he does break up with you,

then telling him
that you cheated on him

is just kicking him in the nuts.

Yeah, no, exactly,

and I don't want
to do that to him,

'cause I actually
really like his nuts.

Here's the thing,
if I don't get

the "it's over" text
and we stay together, then...

Can I just say something?

You literally would never pass
the Bechdel test.

Honey, I'm gonna need you
to get a hobby.

-Call me later.
-Great.

(indistinct chatter continues)

♪ ♪

-Hey, Sam.
-Hi, there.

Hey, uh, can we go talk?

-Right now? Sure.
-Yeah.

Yeah.

Um...

So, I just really want to
apologize about my behavior

at the festival,
I was being a dick.

I'm sorry.

-Oh.
-What?

Sorry, a lot of people have been
apologizing to me lately.

I'm not used to it.

Okay, well, do you forgive me?

-Oh, yeah. Sure.
-Oh, okay.

(both chuckle)

Also, I should be
the one apologizing to you.

-For what?
-For...

-I just do a lot of stuff wrong.
-Sam, can you just say you accept?

-I totally accept your apology.
-Okay.

There we go. Look at us.
We just did it.

We got through our first fight.

Yeah.

-I mean, mazel tov to us,
I guess. -Yeah.

-Right.
-(phone buzzes) -Um...

Actu...

It's HR.

I actually have to go

and "formally disclose
our relationship."

-Cool.
-Um, anyways,

I, uh, was thinking that
maybe tonight, uh,

you can come over.

-Mm.
-And, uh,

I can apologize to you
a little bit more.

And maybe, uh, you can wear
your Friday underwear.

Hmm. But it's Tuesday.

Doesn't matter.

-I'll see you tonight.
-♪ We don't need to describe ♪

♪ You always tell me
that's the way that it goes ♪

-(sighs)
-♪ No other way it could be... ♪

So, are you and Sammy
gonna be okay?

'Cause I really don't want
to pick a side.

I was trying to be Switzerland
on this one.

Well, you know, people have
actually condemned Switzerland

for being neutral
in the face of atrocity.

Hmm. Everyone's getting
canceled these days.

Anyway, with Sam...
nothing happened,

and Joel's technically single,

but she's on my couch
and it's a lot.

-I just need a night
away from her. -You know what?

You just need to get blasted
and talk some shit.

That's how Tina and I
work it out,

even though you steal
my purple comb every day.

Ay, stop talking caca.

I bought that at Sally's
two years ago.

-You did not.
-I did.

See? Would've murdered her.

Okay, so, what are you doing
tonight?

Because Pete and Trent took
Zacky to a baseball game.

-Wait, what?
-I know.

It's like my dream
and my nightmare all at once.

But, point is,
I got free babysitting,

so we got to use it.

Amazing.
Where do you want to go?

The one place Sam can't.

A bar.

Well, you're looking at
a more private setting.

-Yeah.
-But, uh, maybe next time,

we can take advantage
of the sauna

and get ourselves a schvitz.

(both laugh)

See you later, Bobinator.

All right, buddy. Take care.

(quiet chatter)

♪ ♪

That was quick.

(Bob gasps)

So, I-I really appreciate you,
um, meeting up with me.

-Like...
-Yes. Wait. Oh, my gosh. Sit.

(gasps) What happened
with the boyfriend?

Tell me everything.
Did he dump you?

(chuckles) Why are you smiling
so much?

Oh, I just really like
breakup stories.

So much more interesting
than proposal ones.

(scoffs) No, he didn't--
he didn't dump me.

He actually kind of
doubled down on us.

-Congrats.
-So now I guess I have to tell him everything.

Jesus. What is it with you
and telling people things?

I mean, I know we say "you're
only as sick as your secrets"

in the program,
but, honey,

maybe you should be
a little sick, you know?

So lie?
How would I even do that?

You know, when I don't want
to say something,

I just keep shoving food
in my mouth.

Huh. I could make that work.

But I'm not telling you
what to do.

-You need to get a higher power.
-Oh, my God.

-I know, I just...
-Get a higher power.

Trying to control these things

is putting
your emotional sobriety

in jeopardy,
which, by the way,

I'm not entirely convinced
that you have.

If you don't make sobriety
your number one priority,

you will drink again.

But, honey, if you do,

everything's gonna
fall into place.

Trust me on this one.

-Okay. I got it.
-Okay.

I'm not gonna tell him.

Oh, my God. Shut up
and help me move my stuff.

Wait, a-all of this stuff
is yours?

Yeah. I thought you could help
me load it into my car.

Why do you think you're here?

So, I have to keep the cast on
another week.

But they accidentally gave me
extra fries at McDonald's.

-(laughter)
-The Lord works in mysterious ways.

PASTOR:
Thank you, Hector.

May the Lord protect you
from high blood pressure.

Does anyone else feel
called to testify?

Come on. I know
the Lord has been good.

Anybody else feel called
to testify?

I know the Lord has been
good to you.

Come-- James, come on down.

Y'all give him love to come.

Amen.

(exhales)

Hey, everyone.

-(overlapping salutations)
-Hey, James. -(James chuckles)

Uh, feel like my mom prays
for two things:

LeBron to win another ring

and for me
to come back to church.

-(laughter)
-And I'm here, so...

I guess prayer works.

(overlapping "Amens")

JAMES:
Reconnecting with you all these past few weeks,

it's 'cause of the love
in this room

I'm able to come clean
with you all.

So, I've stopped drinking.

(overlapping "Amens")

And it's because of
this community

I'm able to stop.

But I struggle with it
some days.

Most days, because, um...

Um...

I'm an alcoholic.

We love you, James.

MAN:
You've got this, son.

-(overlapping "Amens")
-(applause)

PASTOR:
Amen.

Y'all give him some love.

Give him some love.

It takes a village sometimes.

Let's speak on the love of
the Lord. Amen.

Thank you, Brother James.

(lively chatter)

Ah, this-this seat looks good.

(patting stool)

That, uh, that beer looks good,
too.

Uh, barkeep, I will have
one of those, please.

To better days.

Eh, I like that, man.

-To better days.
-Yes.

Women, am I right?

(ReauBeau's "You (feat. Yenna)"
playing)

♪ This denim feels good
on my body ♪

♪ Mm, got, mm, boo,
got your jacket on ♪

♪ I took it from your closet ♪

♪ I'm hooked on, I'm hooked on ♪

♪ This denim feels good
on my body ♪

♪ Mm, got, mm, boo,
got your jacket on ♪

♪ I took it
from your closet... ♪

-Um...
-Yeah, what's up?

-What?
-You said something.

I said, "Mm, mmm."

-Okay.
-Yeah.

♪ You, you ♪

♪ Got your jacket on ♪

-♪ From your closet. ♪
-Alex.

-Yeah?
-Sorry.

Do you have anything to eat?

I'm, like, super hungry
all of a sudden.

Do you need a water
or something?

I'm afraid you're gonna choke.

-Nah, I'm good.
-All right.

You're alternating food now.
(laughs)

I can't do this.

Someone gave me
some very bad advice.

About what?
Competitive eating?

I...

Look, I have to tell you
something, but...

I just, I wasn't sure
if I should,

'cause I only became a person
very recently.

Sam, what are you talking about?

I kissed someone else.

♪ ♪

(lively chatter)

BRIT:
Sam never puts her shit away.

-Mm-hmm.
-If I stub my toe one more time on her crap,

-I'm-- I am gonna... (laughs)
-(chuckles)

And she keeps sneaking
her underwear into my laundry.

-(laughs)
-Oh, please, you don't have it nearly as bad as I do.

-Mm.
-Zack keeps leaving pennies in the pocket of his jeans.

-(laughs)
-Okay?

He broke my laundry machine,
twice.

(chuckles): Yeah, but Zacky's
a ten-year-old child.

Sam is a full-grown adult.

Is she, though?

(laughter)

I guess I'm just a sucker,
you know?

I mean, I'm actually dating
this woman right now.

Oh, are you?
How's-how's that going?

(sighs) Good.

Yeah.

She's kind of mean to me.

I sort of dig it.

Uh-huh.

Oh, but her body...

I mean...

it's crazy. I don't...

(grunting, screaming)

Oh, is that a fight?

(laughs)

Carol is a wonderful
and complex woman.

I know! I find her interesting!

(both grunting)

Oh, my God, is that Bob?

Mess him up, Bob!

Make him say your name!

-Let go of my leg!
-FELICIA: (whoops) Bob!

-(murmuring)
-Get off of me!

-Oh. Oh.
-JIM: You get off me.

-Get off of me.
-(muttering)

Get off of me.

(gasping, groaning)

(groaning in pain)

Are you okay? Ooh!
He really hurt himself.

Is there a doctor? Somebody?

-How about some ice?
-Psst. -What?

Oh, my God. I hate
the Hippocratic oath.

So, can you just make this
make sense to me?

Like, this all happened
after your friend's funeral?

Well, he wasn't really
my friend.

We actually kind of barely knew
each other, but yeah.

-Why didn't you just tell me?
-I don't know, okay?

It was very weird.
I was freaking out.

And then, before I knew it,
I was on my way to Joel's,

-and I...
-Joel?

Who's Joel?

So there was two guys?

So, one wanted to hook up
with you,

-so you went and hooked up
with another? -No.

Listen, we were in a bad place,
okay?

And-and I wasn't even sure if
we were gonna get back together.

No, no, no, no.
We weren't in a bad spot.

We were in a relationship,
and we got into a fight.

That's what happens
in relationships.

But then you went ahead
and cheated on me.

I didn't cheat.
Alex, I didn't cheat, okay?

It was a really quick,
like a...

-What is...
-Like a lizard kiss.

-Stop doing...
-It was like...

-Don't do it again, it's gross.
-Sorry. Listen.

I have learned in the program
that I can act like a drunk

even when I'm not drinking,
you know?

A-And I think
that's what this was.

So...

Uh...

I don't think I can do this.

Why? Because I tried
to kiss someone?

-Some-Someones?
-No.

I probably could've got
over that,

but I can't get over
where you are.

I don't think you're ready
to be in a relationship.

You don't?

See, like, you shouldn't be
asking me that question.

I shouldn't?

(chuckles) Or that one.

I'm sorry, but I-I think
you should get out of here.

You do?

Please stop asking me questions.

Right. Sorry.

If I may, the problem is
that y-you put your thumb

inside of your fist
instead of on the outside.

It's all about form.
I'm a trainer.

I got a video, if you want
to see what you did wrong.

Hold up your friend's hand.

Okay, all right. Well, I...

I didn't want you girls
to find out this way,

but this is the man
that Carol left me for.

-(gasps)
-What?

No.

(chuckles)
Why would you think that?

Oh, come on, I-I saw
the two of you together.

I mean, Carol can flirt
with the best of them,

but no way. No.

Really?

(slurring): H-Hey,
don't be mad at your friend.

I mean, you can--
you can--

but next time, instead of
hitting your friend,

get drunk and talk shit.

-(chuckles)
-Okay, baby.

You wrapped him up real nice.
It's time to go.

You know, I love Sam.

-Oh.
-You know, I just, I don't...

I don't want to live with her.

Yeah, she needs to get
her own place.

You know, she needs to get
her own place.

-Uh-huh. Okay.
-Yeah.

-FELICIA: Time to go.
-BRIT: Hey, don't tell Sam we were drunk.

(phone ringing)

Yeah, this is Sam.

What, like, right now?

RON:
Samantha Fink?

-Finke?
-Fink.

Nice to meet you, I'm Ron.

It's easy to remember,
because there's an R.

You know, HR, "H Ron."

Plus, I'm a human,
so it works on multiple levels.

Right.

-Thanks, Ron.
-I just want to let you know,

here at Hit Pause,

we want to make sure that no one

is being taken advantage of
by any superiors.

So, I just need to confirm
that you are indeed

in a consensual
romantic relationship

with your boss, Alex.

It's not consensual?

No, no, it's consensual. Sorry.

Oh, thank God.

Oh, should've heard
my heart beating.

-(chuckles)
-I thought I was gonna have to

fill out the other form.

It is long, there are videos.

-It is an afternoon.
-No, no. I...

We're just not
in a relationship anymore.

What?

But, to clarify, you know
we just received this report

yesterday.

Yeah, we were in a relationship
yesterday.

We're just not today.

Oh.

Well, hold on, I'm-a need

-a very specific form for this.
-(drawer opens, closes)

Okay, so, may I ask
who did the dumping?

Uh... he dumped me.

"He dumped her."

-And was this here at work?
-No, it was at his apartment.

And is his apartment subsidized
by Hit Pause in any way?

Not that I know of.

Can I get my apartment
subsidized by Hit Pause?

Oh, not that I know of.

Right.

Oh. You look
like you need a hug.

(scoffs) That actually
sounds nice.

Well, that is too bad,
because I cannot give you one.

But I can look at you in a way
I think a hug would feel.

Okay.

Mm...

(laughs)

(breathes deeply)

That was kind of nice, actually.
Thanks, Ron.

-I'm glad you enjoyed it.
-I did.

Watch my leaves.

That was the last
good ficus they had.

Okay. Is that it?

You need any more free labor?

No, that's it.

I'm proud of you, baby.

♪ ♪

Uh...

-(car door opens)
-(sighs)

(car door closes)

-Get in the car!
-Ah.

SAMANTHA:
I don't want to talk about my breakup.

-Let's talk about your breakup.
-N-- (chuckles)

-I think I might actually
miss Bob a little. -I miss him, too.

I just-- Bob was just a little
too passive for me.

-Yeah? Yeah.
-Yeah. No, I can see that.

-You know, "take a stand, Bob."
Something. -Right.

And plus, you know,
after Dad, it's like... (scoffs)

...how can you top that, ever,
you know?

Well, your dad wasn't perfect.

I know. I know.

But he was... good.

I'm sober
and I'm still not good.

Are you sure
he's my biological father?

-Yes.
-(laughs)

-David made mistakes.
-Oh.

Yeah. He didn't floss.

-Uh-huh.
-He sat on the laundry

instead of folding it.

And, um, he, um, and...

...he left us for a while.

(chuckles) No, he didn't.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

When you were about
ten months old,

he chose to go to New York,
and he left us behind.

And he spent about a year there,
playing music, and...

(scoffs)

Why didn't he just
take us with him?

I think he was spoked
by having a family.

We were young.

He wanted to chase his dreams,
you know.

This feels like kind of
a big deal.

Why didn't you ever
tell me this?

Because you didn't need to know.

Uh--

Samantha, he came back.

And we were okay. Maybe...

maybe better, even.

How did you know
it would get better?

I didn't.

We don't.

-Scary.
-Yeah.

Is what you're going through now
the end of the world?

I don't think so.

(chuckles)

Life is long.

So long.

Endless.

-All right. (grunts)
-Wow.

-Is that a return? Mm-hmm.
-Yeah, obviously.

Look at this thing.
It's so ugly.

Why would you let me buy it?

Well, unfortunately,
that was marked "final sale."

Unfortunately, um,
you should know that

I'm currently the sponsor of
12 recovering alcoholics,

and if you don't process
my return,

I guess we're just gonna have to
start holding our meetings here.

We'll just sit on
all these beautiful sofas.

Spilling coffee everywhere.
Tears.

-You know what doesn't
sell lamps? -What?

People sobbing about
their alcoholic parents.

Oh, and next week, we're going
through our sex inventories.

-It gets real dark, real fast.
-(cashier groans)

Okay, I get it.

Here.

Nice doing business with you.

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