All language subtitles for Riverdale s07e03 Sex Education.eng

[Jughead] The year is 1955,
and nothing like this had ever happened in Riverdale.

One of our own, Ethel Muggs,
had stumbled into the sock hop,

covered in,
we would soon find out, her parents' blood.

Both were dead,
stabbed multiple times.

[door opens]

[Alice] Oh...

What did Ethel say?

Did she see the killer?

Well,
your friend's keeping mum,

but she claims

that the milkman
killed her parents.

Willie?

He's 70 years old. [scoffs]

He is.

Well, are you going to bring
him in for questioning?

It's late and Willie could use
his rest,

so we'll, uh...
We'll talk to him tomorrow

after he's done
his morning deliveries.

It's tragic, yes.

But why bring her here, Alice?

She has nowhere else
to go, Hal.

Her parents are dead.

It's the least
we can do for her, don't you think?

Think how this
will affect Betty.

That's all I ever think about,

is the well-being
of this family.

Which is more
than I can say for you.

[sighs]

We're gonna make up
my sister's old room for you.

Here are some fresh towels.

If you need anything
at any point, just come find me.

Okay?

I don't know what else
they want me to say.

[sniffles]

It's...
It's almost like they think that maybe I...

Ethel, is there anyone
who saw you

before you went back
to your house?

Anyone who could be an alibi?

No.

No, I was alone.

I'm so sorry
that this happened to you.

Please try to rest, okay?

We're here for you.

Whatever you need.

[Jughead]
But Betty's entreaties did little to comfort Ethel,

who didn't say another word
that night.

Which only added
to the mystery.

Is Ethel hiding something?

And why did her milkman story
sound so familiar to me?

♪ Listen to the winds
From the desert's Burning waste ♪

♪ Hear the words in a fire
When it crackles to you ♪

♪ The devil is a woman ♪

♪ A red-headed woman ♪

♪ A fiery headed woman ♪

♪ Taboo ♪

It is high time that you got
yourself a boyfriend, Cheryl.

Mother,
I don't have time for boys.

- I'm far too busy.
- Doing what?

- Painting naked ladies?
- Mother!

What nerve?
That's homework for art class!

You could help, you know?

Isn't there some
nice, normal boy you could introduce her to?

I'm just worried she's, uh...

developing unnatural
proclivities, shall we say?

What are you talking about,
Mom?

Find your sister
a suitable match, immediately.

Do I make myself clear?

That was quite the scene
at the sock hop.

Do you know that poor girl?

Not really.

I mean, she's Ethel.
She kind of...

She kind of keeps to herself.

Well, not to pivot
gracelessly, but...

Listen, Archie,
I'm really sorry we got off on the wrong foot.

Could we maybe try again?

I... I really appreciate
the apology.

Look, the truth is, Veronica,

I just... I don't think
we're a good match.

I mean, you're too much
of a handful for a guy like me.

[sighs]

What happened
to the Muggs family is a tragedy.

It's all the children
are talking about.

The parents are calling.

Asking how we plan
to address this situation.

Well, I believe the most
prudent course of action is to simply carry on

with the week's
preapproved lesson plans.

Yes!

What's on the docket
this week, Ms. Bell?

Well, in fact,
the juniors are scheduled

to have their PTA-approved
sexual education lecture.

But we could postpone it.

On the contrary,
I will give the lecture myself.

Splendid idea, Dr. Werthers.

Business as usual.

That's the ticket.

Tough luck
about Veronica, chum.

I guess it wasn't in the cards
for you two.

Yeah, I guess not.

It's probably for the best.

I mean,
girls like Veronica run hot and cold

and it takes
a certain kind of man to ride that roller-coaster.

- A man like you, I'm guessing?
- Pretty much.

But if you're hankering
for a steady girlfriend,

Cheryl's available.

Cheryl?

Thanks, but no thanks.

Why not?

You don't think my sister
is a honey?

[scoffs] No, I mean,
come on, Chery's gorgeous.

- But...
- But what?

Well, she's always seemed
a little standoffish to me.

I mean, I've never seen her
with a steady boyfriend or anything.

She's had boyfriends.
College guys, mostly.

You know what they say
about girls who like older men, right?

No, what...

What do they say?

They're a lot more...

open-minded than most
high school girls

if you catch my drift.

You take Cheryl out,

you're made in the shade, daddio.

Something tells me she'd...

really go for a stud like you.

[chuckles]

Think about it at least.

[jazz music playing]

Hey, Blossom, wait up.

What is it, Serpentina?

I'm putting on
a little performance at the Dark Room tonight.

And I have a feeling
it might razz your berries.

Kindly mark me down
as a definitive, "No, thank you."

Ta-ta.

[Lizzo chuckles]

Think same old Topaz
always going after the straight-laced square girls.

You know there's no future
there for you, right?

I'm not so sure
about that, Lizzo.

What's your problem,
Topaz?

Am I too much woman
for you?

My problem with you

is that you're
a high school dropout and you're too territorial.

But I'll see you
at the Dark Room.

And what makes you think
I'm going?

Get over yourself, Lizzo.

I know you wouldn't miss it.

[engine starts]

[exhales]

Kevin, you okay?

You seem a little froggy.

You know, jumpy,
kind of like you're avoiding someone.

No, uh... I just...
I had too much Highpoint this morning.

It's okay, Kevin.

What are you doing tonight?

Do you want to come
to an open mic at the Dark Room?

A bunch of us hepcats
are performing.

Um...

The Dark Room,

isn't that the beatnik hangout?

It's a coffeehouse, Kevin.

Do you have plans or not?

I was going to maybe see
The Seven Year Itch with Betty.

But she might like
going to the Dark Room.

She won't regret it.

And...

neither will you.

[chuckles softly]

♪ I wish I didn't love you so ♪

[door opens]

Cheryl,
I've been looking for you.

Cool painting.

Why, pray tell, have you been
searching for moi?

Um...

What are you...
What are you doing tonight?

I was wondering if you wanted
to go see The Seven Year Itch with me at the Babylonium?

I have already seen it
and found it egregiously overrated.

Oh, okay. Well--

However, there is an event
at the Dark Room tonight.

Some sort of poetry reading.

I wasn't going to attend
in fear of being slimed by a greaser.

But with the proper escort,
I might relent.

- Poetry reading?
- Hmm.

Well, I've actually just
started writing poetry myself.

How peachy keen for you.

Pick me up at 7:00?

Hey, doll face.

Wanna go
to the Babylonium tonight?

The Seven Year Itch
is playing.

Drop dead, Julian.

You know,
if you're still pining after Andrews,

don't hold your breath.

Word on the street is
he's going to something

at the beatnik bar tonight
with Cheryl.

I want to go.
To the Dark Room.

I didn't know you were into
the whole beatnik scene.

Oh, I'm into a lot of scenes, Julian.

Pick me up at 8:00.

[Sheriff Keller]
Sorry to bother you, there, Willie,

but we got to follow
every lead, even the crazy ones.

Let me walk you out.

[door opens, closes]

Ethel...

What happened?

It wasn't the milkman.

Or at least not that milkman.

So it was another milkman?

Or someone dressed like one,
I don't know.

Jughead...

I'm really, really scared.

What if Sheriff Keller
starts to think that I did it?

Why would he do that?

You know those pretend covers
I'm always drawing?

Yeah. They're super boss.

Do you remember
my meat grinder cover?

Yeah?

Oh...

Oh, God, Ethel.

[Jughead] Ethel's drawing
depicted a girl

who happened
to look like Ethel,

shoving dismembered body parts

that happened to look like
they belong to her parents

into a meat grinder.

It was a goof, Jughead.

[sighs deeply]

I was just mad at my parents
for not letting me go see The Tingler.

And now I'm afraid
that Sheriff Keller is gonna...

misinterpret it.

- Where's the drawing?
- In my hope chest.

I would get them myself,

but I just... I don't think
I can face going back into that house.

Not so soon.

Okay. It's fine.

I'm gonna get it.
I'm gonna go tonight.

Yeah.

[door opens]

Excuse me, young lady.

Where do you think
you're going?

Kevin and I are going
to a poetry reading.

Not before you march over
to Ethel's house

and bring that girl back
another change of clothes or two.

Chop-chop.

Oh, thank God.

[door opens]

The cops!

[Jughead] Here is why Ethel's
milkman story sounded so familiar.

It reminded me of a comic book
Pep had published.

One of
their most infamous issues,

about a lunatic who escapes
from an insane asylum,

dresses up as the town milkman

and starts murdering people.

Ethel and I had both read it.

Then again, everyone had.

I'm sure it was a coincidence.
It had to be.

But it wouldn't
look good for Ethel

to be caught with it,
no matter what.

And to the republic
that falls short.

One nation under siege, indefensible.

With liberty and justice
for none.

All are beat. All are beat.

Gratitude.

[all applauding]

Keen, but what does it mean?

It's art, Betty.
It doesn't need to mean anything.

I mean, it didn't even rhyme, really.

- Poetry doesn't have to rhyme.
- Here.

This might help make the
evening more tolerable.

[sensual music playing
with bongos and flute]

Immortal Aphrodite

on your shimmering throne.

Daughter of Zeus,
weaver of wiles,

I pray thee.

Crush not my spirit
nor my soul

with anguish and distress.

Oh, queen.

Come release me
from cruel cares.

Let my heart accomplish
all that it desires.

Mine, as I am yours.

Take me.

Take me.

Take me.

Take me.

[moans]

[all applauding
and snapping]

[all cheering]

I want to leave.

- What?
- Take me home, now.

Well, good night, Cheryl.

I had a real nice time.

♪ Everywhere I go ♪

♪ I hear your name ♪

I wasn't expecting that.

Walk me to school tomorrow.

Yeah, sure.

Okay.

It's a date.

Toodles.

Toodles.

♪ Hiding my tears ♪

♪ With a smile ♪

[breathing heavily]

[sensual instrumental
music playing]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[breathing heavily]

[school bell ringing]

[Kevin] Oh, my golly.

Who knew the Dark Room
was gonna be such a gas?

Isn't Clay just
an astonishing writer?

I can't stop thinking about
his poem.

I'm still reeling
from Toni's dance poem.

It was pretty sexy,
don't you think?

[chuckles] I suppose.

You suppose?

Kevin,
it was jaw-dropping.

♪ Blow me a kiss
From across the room ♪

♪ Say I look nice
When I'm not ♪

♪ Touch my hair
As you pass my chair ♪

♪ Little things ♪

♪ Little things mean a lot ♪

As I'm sure you're aware,

based on your eager,

sweaty faces,

today's lesson will be focusing
on the fundamentals of...

sexual reproduction.

Your bodies
are changing right now.

it can be a confusing time.

You have many questions,
no doubt.

But first, first,

let's begin
with a very useful diagram.

Much can be gleaned
from the typical American flower,

whose sole function,
with its colorful petals

and its pleasing contour,
is pollination or reproduction.

I'm so confused.

What do flowers and bees
have to do with us?

Nothing. I don't know
what that speech was about.

But recently I got my hands
on a copy of Kingsley's Guide to Human Sexuality.

That's got the real skinny.

This is ridiculous.

If you fuddy duddies
truly want to learn about S-E-X,

we have to stop talking
about it and start doing it.

I'm going to host
a make-out party and you're all coming.

Thanks, but no thanks.

I'm a germaphobe.

Is that like an orgy?

No, it's kissing games.

Spin the Bottle, Post Office,
Seven Minutes in Heaven, Pony Ride.

And trust me,

nothing is ever
gonna be the same again.

[Jughead] In that moment,
before our very eyes,

Veronica Lodge became
a Georgia O'Keeffe lotus

and Archie Andrews
a hapless bumblebee.

Gosh, a real-life
make-out party.

I'll have to check my book
to see what Dr. Kingsley says about them.

[Veronica]
Between you and me, it all boils down to this.

Boys think they're in charge,

but it's all about
our pleasure, not theirs.

Well, right now, I don't think
either me or Kevin are experiencing much pleasure.

Hmm.

The more direct you can be
with your beau, the better.

I botched it playing coy
with Archie.

But I'll make my desires
crystal clear to him at the party.

[scoffs]

[both chuckle]

[indistinct chatter]

[Toni] Hey, Blossom.

You didn't stick around after
my performance last night.

Did you dig it?

It was a little... avant-garde
for my sensibilities.

Archie thought the same.

You have heard
we're going steady, have you not?

Yeah. We've all seen you
parade him around

like he's some kind
of prize stud.

You know, you don't have to go
to some make-out party

to pretend to be somebody
you're not.

Why exactly does everyone
presume to know my personal life?

You're worse than
my hobgoblin mother, and that's saying a lot.

Kev, can we talk for a sec?

It's about the make-out party.

Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking,
why don't we ditch that?

No. We're going.

It's happening tonight,
Kevin, you and me.

Because you say
that you love me

and now it's time
that you proved it.

[door closes]

We'll cut right
to the chase, Jughead.

Did you break into
Ethel Muggs' house yesterday?

Uh, I'm pretty sure
that I was just at home

writing and eating hamburgers.

Because there's
a neighbor there

that reported someone
matching your description.

Teenager wearing a crown
exiting a window.

Well, that wasn't me.

- Hmm.
- You are a...

Well, you're a bit
of an odd duck,

aren't you, Mr. Jones?

A loner.

Like Miss Muggs.

Is she your girlfriend?

She's just a friend.

Are you protecting her now?

Maybe you helped her
do something bad and...

now you have to protect
yourself, too.

I wasn't at
Ethel Muggs' house last night,

and I'm not her boyfriend

or an odd duck loner,
whatever that means.

In fact,
I'm going to a party tonight.

- With all the cool kids.
- [Dr. Werthers scoffs]

- Really?
- And... And for the record,

the Ethel that I know
would not kill her parents.

You're barking up
the wrong tree.

Now can I go, please?

Yeah.

You're free to go.

Oh, enjoy your party tonight.

Oh, uh, hey, Clay. Um...

Thought I missed
the locker-room rush.

What can I say?

I love a long,
lingering shower.

[sputters] Um... Are you going
to that make-out party?

I don't think so.

Why not?

Because...

I like boys, Kevin.

And I don't think
it's that kind of party.

Uh, that...
That makes sense.

Obviously, most people
don't know that about me.

I hope I can trust you
to be discreet.

Of course, Clay.

Uh, I gotta go. Um...

- Gotta get ready.
- All right.

- [Archie] Hey, Betty.
- [Betty] Hmm?

You know that, um...

sex book you mentioned?

I was wondering
if I could have a little read.

Um... [chuckles]

Just so I can brush up
before the make-out party.

Of course.

What do you think
of Dr. Kingsley?

I mean, I think...
I think I get it.

I just...

But how does it all start?

That's the easy part.

Okay, so say you're sitting
side-by-side

next to Cheryl like this.

Maybe some music
starts playing.

[romantic music playing]

Now you might want to say
something like...

"Cheryl, would you like
to get a bit more comfortable?"

[clears throat]

Say, would you like to get
a bit more comfortable?

Why, yes, I would.

Then...

she might...

do this.

Oh.

And then what?

And then...

Oh!

- I'm sorry, Betty.
- What? No. It's okay.

I'm sorry.

[indistinct conversation]

[rock 'n' roll instrumental
music playing]

Now, before we break off

and retreat into
the Pembrooke's various dark corners,

I thought we could warm up

with a perfectly innocent
round of Post Office.

Now, boys, each of you
is holding an envelope

containing a number which
corresponds to one of us girls.

You must deliver
your envelope to that girl

along with a kiss.

Fangs, would you like
to get us started?

- [clears throat]
- Reveal your number and the girl you'll be kissing.

[exhales] Okay.

Number two.

[groans] That's me.

I bet you've never kissed
a greaser before.

I don't even eat French fries.

But rules are rules.

Forgive me, Midge.

Don't worry, square.

I brushed my teeth
earlier this week.

- Ugh!
- Oh!

Whoa! Was that cheating?

It's skirting the edge,

but hopefully Kevin will
give us what we all want.

Which is a real kiss.

Kevin?

Uh, number three.

I'm three.

Hold your head still.

All right, let's just get this
over with.

[sighs]

One.

That's me.

This oughta be good.

Nice to meet you, by the way.

Pleased to make
your acquaintance.

Thank you.

Five.

Wow. [chuckles]
That's me.

How did that happen?

Excuse me, brother.

I guess this is what's known
as a date with destiny.

She's gonna suffocate him.

But what a way to go.

I think I got your gum.

You can keep it.

It's Triple Bubble.

Guess that leaves me
and the Wild One.

Luckily, I've had all my shots.

Yeah. That's not a kiss, preppie.

This is a kiss.

Okay.

Now that all of our lips
are appropriately lubricated,

we pair off.

I, for instance,
might sneak off with--

Come along, Archie.

Let's find a private space
away from prying eyes.

What do you say?

Shall we go to your room?

Actually...

You.

[Jughead] Me?

You just hit the jackpot,
Holden Caulfield.

I guess
that leaves the two of you.

We could finish
what you started.

In your dreams, prepster.

I will, however,
let you drive me home

in that sweet ride of yours.

♪ Milkman,
Keep those bottles quiet ♪

♪ Can't use that jive
On my milk diet ♪

Don't, Hal.

I've already
called Social Services

and she's going back
to school tomorrow.

[clears throat]
Thank you, Alice.

Of course, dear.

[pop music playing]

Look, I don't know what it is
that you plan on doing to me,

but I should probably
let you know

the only reason I'm here

is because I don't want people
thinking I'm a miscreant

that helped Ethel
murder her parents.

Funny.

Sounds exactly like something
a miscreant murderer would say.

Relax.

I just needed a warm body
to help me get away from Julian Blossom.

That guy's an octopus.

Well, glad I could help.

By the way, what was with that
Holden Caulfield reference?

Well, isn't that your thing?

"Everybody's phony except me."

No, I just meant that not
everyone in Riverdale goes around

name dropping literary
anti-heroes.

People do read in Los Angeles,
you know.

So what's your dealio?

If you're not dating
Ethel Muggs, then who are you dating?

Uh...

Who has time for dating?

What with all these comics
to read and burgers to eat

and monster movies to watch?

I like monster movies.

The scarier the better.

Mm.

I'll tell you my favorite
if you tell me yours.

Ladies first.

Creature from the Black Lagoon.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- That's actually
my favorite, too. I love it. - Really?

You know, you kind of remind me
of the girl in the white bathing suit.

- Julie Adams? I get that a lot.
- Mm-hmm.

[soft music playing
in distance]

You're not excited.

Of course I am.

No, you're not, Kev.

I can tell
that you're not excited.

You're not... aroused.

Maybe if we just...
If we just keep kissing, you know?

You can move your right hand
a little higher if you want.

Oh, not that high, Archie.

As my nana likes to say,

"Let's leave room
for the Holy Spirit."

Okay?

- Archie, your right hand again.
- Oh.

I'm sorry
if I'm screwing this up.

I just... I'm excited.

And a little nervous
maybe because...

you're so experienced.

You know, you're used
to going out with college guys.

Who told you that?

Julian.

Why were you and Julian talking
about me?

Well,

I mean, he suggested
that I ask you out.

Yeah,
he said we might hit it off.

Archie, I'm going to be
honest with you.

I've never been
with a college guy.

I've actually never really been
with any guy.

But...

I'm quite certain
we can figure it out.

Together.

Definitely.

[Betty] Dear Diary.

The make-out party
was unsurprisingly a disaster.

I want Kevin to want me.

I want to feel desired.

I want to feel sexy.

I want...

[blues song playing]

♪ I'm gonna hoo-doo you, baby ♪

♪ And set your soul on fire ♪

I'm not sure how much more
of this I can take before I explode, Diary.

Something has to change.

And soon.

♪ Yes, I'm gonna
Make you mine ♪

My dear boy,

any updates
on our little project?

We're made in the shade, Mother.

Got Cheryl together
with Archie

and I'm fairly certain
they're going steady now.

Very good, Julian.

Well done.

[footsteps approaching]

Good morning, Mother.

- Julian.
- Cheryl Marjorie Blossom.

What is that lesion
on your neck?

It's a hickey, Mother.

And I suppose you both should
know Archie pinned me last night.

[coughs]

And I mean, really pinned me.

As in, all the way pinned me.

Barf.

[horn honking]

That must be Archie.

He's driving me to school.

I'd say he's a true gentleman, but...

the truth is,
Archie is a total animal.

Toodles.

Kevin,
I have something for you.

What is it?

Kingsley's Guide
to Human Sexuality.

Betty, we're at school.

You need to read it.

Think of this as your own
personal sex education, Kevin.

Finals are coming up
and it's time to start cramming.

Betty. Betty!

Hey.

I just wanted to say
fun party last night.

Sorry I had to cut out early.

But, you know,
I'm playing the long game.

Really, with who?

I'd rather not say... yet.

But how did it go
with Bazooka Jones?

Well, if you really must know,

Jughead and I spent
the entire night together.

Talking.

Holy hell.

Are you making a play
for that crown-wearing clown?

Let's just say
I'm not ruling it out.

- [girl 1] Oh, my God.
- [boy] It's her.

- [girl 2] There she is.
- [girl 3] The girl who killed her parents.

[girl 1]
What is she doing here?

Everyone's looking at me
like I'm a murderer.

Hey, this is all going
to blow over.

As soon as the actual killer
is caught, okay?

Right now,
just take it nice and slow.

[Ms. Bell over PA]
Attention, students.

Will Ethel Muggs
and Jughead Jones

please come
to the principal's office?

Ethel Muggs and Jughead Jones,

please report
to the principal's office.

Let me guess.

You'd like to know
who was canoodling at the make-out party?

We searched your train car, Jughead,

right after you left
for school this morning.

- Wha... Why?
- [Sheriff Keller] In any case,

we found some pretty damning
evidence stuffed underneath your mattress.

Care to explain,
Miss Muggs?

Mr. Jones?

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