All language subtitles for The.Minus.Man 1999

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♪♪

- HAVE ANY PIE ?
- NOPE.

NO PIE, NO PIZZA, NO KITCHEN.
JUST BOOZE.

YOU GOT PICKLES.

[ Traveler ] GUESS I'LL HAVE A BEER.

WHICH BEER ? CAN I TRY WHAT SHE'S HAVING ?

[ Taps Glass On Bar ]
ME TOO.

THINK ANYONE'S EVER MADE
A PIE OUT OF PICKLES ?

I HOPE NOT.

[ Chuckles ]

THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT EAT
PICKLES WITH ICE CREAM.

PREGNANT WOMEN MAYBE, BUT I NEVER HEARD ANYBODY MAKING A PIE OUT OF PICKLES.

[ Woman ] THEN WHO BUYS THEM ?

- I'D LIKE TO GET PICKLED.
- YOU ARE, BABY.

SO WHERE IS IT
YOU'RE COMING FROM ?

FROM THE WEST.

WEST OF WHAT ?
THIS IS THE WEST.

VANCOUVER.

YOU MUST NOT BE IN MUCH OF A HURRY.

- WHAT MAKES YOU SAY THAT ?
- YOU'D BE ON THE INTERSTATE.

I DON'T LIKE THE BILLBOARDS.

NO BILLBOARDS
ON THE INTERSTATE.

I'M EMPTY,
IN CASE YOU WERE
KEEPING TRACK.

[ Coughing ]

[ Coughing Continues ]

[ Rummaging Through Purse, Coughing Continues ]

[ Continues Coughing ]

[ Inhales ]

[ Continues Coughing ]

FUCKING ALLERGIES.

I'M NOT EVEN 30,
AND I GOT SIX THINGS
WRONG WITH ME.

[ Coughing ]
LOOK AT THIS SHIT.CORN IS GOOD.

WHAT ?

CORN, IF IT'S FRESH.

[ Coughs ]

CORN.

[ Traveler ]
SOMETIMES IT WILL
MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.

REALLY.

CORN.
[ Laughs ]

WOULD YOU PLEASE MOVE ?

[ Phone Ringing ]

- [ Slams Down Picture ]
- WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM ?

YOU'RE MY PROBLEM, CASPER.

YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING HERE
SINCE NOON, [ Ringing Continues ]

AND I DON'T THINK
YOU'VE GOT THE MONEY
FOR WHAT YOU'RE BUYING.

YOUR PHONE'S RINGING,
DICKWAD.

[ Ringing Continues ]I WANT YOU
TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.

HERE YOU GO.
I GOT SOME MONEY.

[ Ringing Continues ]

I THOUGHT IT WAS CUSTOMARY
FOR A PERSON TO PAY WHEN
A PERSON'S FINISHED.

YOU'RE FINISHED.

NOW PAY OR, LIKE I SAID,
GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.

[ Traveler ] HERE YOU GO. I'LL PAY.

BOY, THAT GUY WAS MAD.

HE'S AN ASSHOLE.

CASPER,
LIKE THE GHOST ?

CASPER LIKE SHIT.
THAT'S NOT MY NAME.

MY NAME'S LAURIE.LAURIE.
THAT'S A NICE NAME.

L-A-U-R-I-E.
LAURIE.

FOUR VOWELS
TO TWO CONSONANTS.

THAT'S RARE, YOU KNOW.

ALMOST ALL THE VOWELS:
"A," "E," "I," "U."

ONLY ONE I DON'T HAVE
IS AN "O."

SO IF YOUR NAME WAS TONY,
IT'D BE PERFECT.

WHAT IS YOUR NAME ?

BOB.UH-UH.

[ Laughs ]
SO YOU GOT THE "O."

GOT THE "O." GUESS
THAT MAKES ME OKAY.

UH-HUH.[ Laughing ]

YOU'RE SWEET.

DO YOU LIKE TO GET HIGH ?

HOW ?

PULL OVER.

TURN THE LIGHTS OUT.

DON'T TURN THE ENGINE OFF.

[ Engine Idling ]

COULD I GET A LITTLE HEAT,
PLEASE ? IT'S COLD.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING ?THERE MUST HAVE BEEN A BEAR.

[ Sighs ]

WHAT IS THIS ?AMARETTO.

- IT'S SWEET.
- MM-HMM.

YEAH, IT IS.

CASPER.

I WONDER IF I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE BEAR.

IT COULD HAVE BEEN THE WIND THAT KNOCKED OVER THE GARBAGE CAN.

I'VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING VIOLENT TO ANYBODY.

JUST THE MINIMUM THAT WAS NECESSARY.

NO FEAR, NO PAIN. THEY JUST GO TO SLEEP.

BUT AFTER IT'S DONE, THERE'S NO GOING BACK, NO SECOND CHANCE.

IF I MADE A MISTAKE, I'LL PAY FOR IT.

YOU DON'T ALWAYS CHOOSE WHAT YOU DO. SOMETIMES, WHAT YOU DO CHOOSES YOU.

THAT'S WHERE DISCIPLINE COMES IN.

I LIKE THE DETAILS OF A THING,

ESPECIALLY IF IT'S GOT A PURPOSE.

[ Tapping On Window ]

BETWEEN SUNDOWN AND SUNUP,
NO LOITERING ON THE BEACH.
YOU CAN'T SPEND THE NIGHT.

I DIDN'T KNOW.
I'M SORRY.

YOU MUST HAVE MISSED THE SIGN.
IT'S POSTED AT THE ENTRANCE.

CAN I SEE YOUR LICENSE AND REGISTRATION, PLEASE ?

REGISTRATION ?

- YOU ON A TRIP ?
- UH-HUH.

JUST SEEING THE COUNTRY.

THIS PLACE IS SO PRETTY,
I DECIDED TO STOP FOR A WHILE.

IF YOU'RE GONNA STAY, I SUGGEST
YOU GET YOURSELF A ROOM.

YOU'RE RIGHT.
I'LL LOOK IN THE PAPER.

I JUST GOT ONE.

JUST GOT ONE.

OKAY, THEN.
I'LL BE SWINGING BACK AROUND
IN ABOUT 15 MINUTES.

DON'T WORRY. I WON'T BE HERE.
I WON'T FALL BACK ASLEEP AGAIN.

THANKS.
I MEAN IT. THANKS A LOT.

I-- I CALLED
ABOUT THE ROOM FOR RENT.
MY NAME IS VANN.

I THOUGHT
WE SAID 5:00.
WE DID.
I JUST THOUGHT--

I CAN COME BACK LATER
IF YOU WANT. I--

ARE YOU MRS. DURWIN ?YES, I AM.

IT'S ME. I'M VANN.
I CALLED--
I KNOW.
YOU SAID.

I'M SORRY I CAME SO EARLY.
I WAS JUST AFRAID YOU'D RENT
THE ROOM TO SOMEBODY ELSE.

OKAY. SINCE YOU'RE HERE,
YOU MIGHT AS WELL SEE IT.
COME ON IN.

THE ROOM HAS
A SEPARATE ENTRANCE, PLUS
IT OVERLOOKS THE GARDEN.

IN THE SPRING,
IT'S QUITE LOVELY;
THE LIGHT IN HERE.

IT'S NICE RIGHT NOW.
I LIKE THE FALL.

THIS HAS GOT A SHOWER.
[ Opens Door ]

BUT ALSO THERE'S
A BATH DOWN THE HALL,

WHICH IS PRIVATE
BECAUSE WE NEVER USE IT.

[ Mrs. Durwin ] THAT'S OUR DAUGHTER. THIS WAS HER ROOM.

SHE'S IN COLLEGE NOW.

SHE LOOKS SMART.
SHE LOOKS LIKE YOU.

ALSO, ANYONE
WHO TAKES THE ROOM,

IF THEY'RE
PREPARED TO CLEAN UP
AFTER THEMSELVES,

CAN HAVE THE USE OF THE KITCHEN
DURING CERTAIN HOURS.

THIS IS GREAT.
THIS IS THE BEST PLACE
I'VE SEEN SO FAR.

BEFORE I DECIDE ANYTHING
ONE WAY OR THE OTHER,

YOU REALLY HAVE TO MEET
MR. DURWIN, MY HUSBAND.

ALL RIGHT.
AND IF HE LIKES ME OKAY,
THEN I CAN MOVE IN ?

[ Sighs ]

WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME SOMETHING
ABOUT YOURSELF FIRST ?

EXCEPT FOR BEER
ONCE IN A WHILE,
I DON'T DRINK.

NEVER TOOK ANY DOPE,
AND I DON'T STAY OUT LATE.

I'VE ALWAYS WORKED,
PAID MY OWN WAY.

I HAVE MONEY SAVED. I DON'T OWE ANYBODY ANYTHING.

SO WHAT BRINGS YOU
DOWN THIS WAY ?

MY DAD WAS SICK,
AND I WAS TAKING CARE
OF HIM MOSTLY.

AFTER HE PASSED ON,
I DIDN'T HAVE ANY REASON
TO STAY ANY LONGER.

THOUGHT I'D START OUT FRESH,

GO BACK TO SCHOOL, MAYBE TAKE SOME COURSES.

HERE ? I LIKE IT HERE.

SO FAR, I THINK IT'S THE NICEST PLACE I'VE SEEN.

WELL...

TO TELL THE TRUTH,
WE WERE HOPING FOR A YOUNG LADY.

BUT IT'S OKAY WITH ME
IF IT'S OKAY WITH JANE.

MRS. DURWIN ?

WE'VE HAD THAT ROOM FOR RENT
SINCE KAREN LEFT.

THEY SAID WE'RE ASKING
TOO MUCH. THAT'S WHY PEOPLE
AREN'T CALLING.

SHE DIDN'T WANT THE FOLKS
AT THE WANT ADS TO THINK
WE WERE HARD UP.

MRS. DURWIN DIDN'T ?

DID SHE ASK YOU
TO CALL HER THAT ?MM-HMM.

WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO CALL ME MR. ANYTHING,
JUST PLAIN DOUG.

THANKS, DOUG.

SHE LIED. EITHER THAT OR SHE'S CONFUSED.

THERE'S NO SEPARATE ENTRANCE IN THIS ROOM.

UNLESS SHE MEANT THE WINDOW.

I WONDER WHY SHE TOLD ME THAT.

[ Setting Table ]

[ Doug ] WHAT ARE WE HAVING ?

POACHED WHITE FISH
AND HOT POTATO SALAD.

IS VANN HAVING DINNER
WITH US ?OF COURSE NOT.

MAYBE WE SHOULD INVITE HIM DOWN HIS FIRST NIGHT.

NO, NO.

DOUG, THE LAST THING
YOU WANT IS FOR A TENANT
TO BECOME YOUR GUEST.

KEEP YOUR DISTANCE.

I SUPPOSE SO. WELL, DON'T.

DON'T.

LEAVE HIM ALONE.

LET'S GIVE HIM A CHANCE
TO GET ADJUSTED FIRST.

WITH THE SKINS
STILL ON THEM ?

THE POTATOES.

YES, JUST THE WAY
YOU LIKE THEM.

YUMMY.

[ Doug Knocking, Whispering ] VANN ?

DOUG ? ARE YOU AWAKE ?

OKAY IN HERE ?
GOT EVERYTHING YOU NEED ?

YEAH,
EVERYTHING'S GREAT.

- SHH.
- SORRY.

YOU LIKE FOOTBALL ?

YOU WANT TO SEE A GAME ?

I DON'T KNOW, DOUG.
I'VE BEEN DRIVING
SUCH A LONG TIME.

I SUPPOSE I SHOULD
PROBABLY GET SOME REST.

NO, NOT TONIGHT.
TOMORROW.

- I THOUGHT YOU MEANT ON THE--
- NO, NOT ON THAT.

A REAL GAME.

THE BADGERS,
OUR LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL TEAM,
AGAINST THE HAWKS.

YEAH, I'D LOVE TO.

[ Door Closes ]

♪♪ [ Drum Line, Crowd Cheering ]

♪♪ [ Marching ]

[ Continues Cheering ]

♪♪

GO BADGERS ! WHOOP 'EM !

DEFENSE !

♪♪

♪♪

[ Man ]
THIRD AND SHORT,
AND THEY THROW A LONG PASS.

WHAT THE HELL
WAS THAT ABOUT,
HMM ?

IT'S BEEN ONE
OF THEIR BEST PLAYS
ALL SEASON, DAD.

IT WAS YOU, GENE.
YOU MADE THE BIG PLAY.

NO, I DIDN'T.
THE PASS RUSH DID.

JUST ASK COACH.SEE ?

SEE HOW POLITE HE IS ? HE'S GOING INTO THE F.B.I. WHEN HE GETS OUT OF COLLEGE.

HOW MANY PUSHUPS
DO YOU DO A DAY, GENE ?

NOT PUSHUPS, DOUGIE.
BENCH PRESSES.

GO AHEAD AND TELL HIM HOW MUCH YOU LIFT, HONEY. OVER 300 POUNDS.

- WHAT COLLEGE ?
- ANY ONE HE WANTS TO.

THAT'S RIGHT.SHOW US
YOUR BICEPS.

- HERE'S YOUR BICEPS. - [ Mom ] SHOW THEM, HONEY. COME ON.

COACH.

COACH,
HERE'S TO YOUR
STAR PUPIL,

THE HUMBLE RUNNER
NO MAN CAN CATCH.

TODAY, A BADGER.

TOMORROW, THE WORLD.

[ Laughing ]

WE CAN HOPE.
[ Continues Laughing ]

I GOT AN IDEA.

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE A JOB ?

TALKING ABOUT THE POST OFFICE.

CAN'T GUARANTEE IT, BUT THERE ARE OPPORTUNITIES NOW BECAUSE OF THE HOLIDAYS.

BUT IT'S ONLY NOVEMBER, DOUG.

OH, YEAH ?

WELL, DON'T LOOK NOW,
BUT CHRISTMAS IS CLIMBING
OVER THE BACK FENCE ALREADY.

MAGAZINES ARE GETTING THICKER. CATALOGS ARE COMING IN.

VOLUMES ARE TRIPLING RIGHT NOW.
YOU UNDERSTAND ?

THAT'S SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT.

I WILL.
THANK YOU.

I MEAN IT.
I CAN PUT THE WORD IN FOR YOU.

- DELIVERING THE MAIL ?
- [ Laughs ]

DELIVERING THE MAIL ALREADY ?
[ Continues Laughing ]

YOU GOT NO SAY
IN THE MATTER YET.

PUT YOU ON THE TRUCKS...
DOING THE COLLECTIONS,

SORTING THE FLYERS OUT
IN THE OFFICE,

WHATEVER THEY WANT.

WHAT, WHAT, WHAT ?

I JUST LIKE THE WAY YOU TALK:

"CHRISTMAS CLIMBING OVER
THE BACK FENCE."

TO TELL THE TRUTH, VANN,

I'M NOT SO WELL OFF AS I ACT.

MY LIFE'S NOT THAT HOT.

IF IT'S WASN'T FOR GENE,
THERE--

THERE'D BE NO HOPE AT ALL.

NO INSPIRATION WHATSOEVER.

MY TREAT.

[ Vann ] I TAKE THE NATURAL MOMENTUM OF A PERSON...

AND DRAW IT TOWARDS ME.

THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF UNDERSTANDING SOMEONE...

IS KNOWING IF THEY CAN HURT YOU OR NOT.

DOUG CAN'T HURT ANYBODY, NOT AS HE IS.

I THINK ABOUT OTHER JOBS, LIKE BEING A DOORMAN...

SOMEWHERE IN THE CITY WITH TALL BUILDINGS;

THE KIND OF JOB WHERE YOU TAKE CARE OF PEOPLE...

WHO RELY ON YOU FOR CERTAIN THINGS.

YOU STAY OUT OF THEIR BUSINESS, BUT YOU'RE ALSO EXPECTED...

TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON SO YOU CAN HELP.

PLUS, ON THE HOLIDAYS, YOU GET BIG TIPS.

I GUESS THERE'S OTHER BENEFITS TOO. I FEEL NORMAL NOW.

YOU GOT TO SIGN IT.

WHEN CAN YOU START ?

ANYTIME YOU SAY,
I'M READY.TOMORROW ?

ABSOLUTELY.7:00 A.M. THEN.

[ Starts Engine ]

SEE YOU TOMORROW, 3:00.
SAY HI TO YOUR DAD.

[ Honking Horn ]

IT'S VANN.HEY.

YOU NEED A LIFT ?

THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
I-I'M NOT GOING THAT FAR.

NO PROBLEM.
JUMP ON IN.

THANKS.

YOU GONNA WIN ?

EITHER THAT OR DIE.

IF COACH
DOESN'T KILL US FIRST.

YEAH, FOOTBALL
MUST BE PRETTY ROUGH.

YEAH.

IS THAT BOOZE ?

YEAH. WHAT HAPPENS
IF YOU GET AN INJURY ?

COACH WANTS US TO.

PROBLEM IS,
IF WE DON'T GET INJURED,

HE THINKS
WE'RE NOT GIVING 110%.

HE DOES ?
THAT'S ASKING A LOT.

IT'S SUPPOSED TO RAISE OUR PAIN THRESHOLD OR SOMETHING.

I BET IT PROBABLY DOES.

DID YOU EVER PLAY ?ME ?
I PLAYED A LITTLE.

YEAH ?I WAS A SCATBACK.

[ Gene Laughing ] A SCATBACK ?[ Laughing ]

WOW.

CAN I GET A SWIG ?

[ Vann ] YEAH.

YOU WANT SOME ?

NO, I'M FINE.

IT'S TOO SWEET.

UM, JUST TURN RIGHT UP THERE.
THAT WOULD BE GOOD.

[ Sighs ]

SHIT.

GENE ?

WHERE'S YOUR HOUSE,
GENE ?

WHERE'S YOUR HOUSE,
GENE ?

[ Vann ] MAYBE I WAS WRONG ABOUT DOUG.

MAYBE HE COULD HURT SOMEBODY.

I NEVER MAKE A PLAN.

LIKE A COMET SHOOTING ACROSS THE SKY...

IT JUST HAPPENS.

NOBODY KNOWS WHERE I'LL LAND.

HOW ABOUT THE CARPET SALESMAN,
GLEN SKYLE ?

WAS THAT YOUR FIRST ?

THEY NEVER FIND THE CORPSES,
DO THEY, VANN ?

NOBODY WILL KNOW SHIT
EXCEPT THE SOFT,
DAMP EARTH.

RIGHT, VANN ?

IS THAT WHERE
YOU KEEP THEM ?

[ Vann ] I FEEL LIKE A LIGHT IN THE DARK.

THEY COME TO ME LIKE MOTHS BECAUSE I SHINE.

[ Mrs. Durwin ]
VANN ? VANN ?

IT'S OKAY, VANN.

WHAT HAPPENED ?

YOU MUST HAVE PASSED OUT.

YOU MUST HAVE FAINTED.

I NEVER DID THAT BEFORE.

WELL--

I PUT THAT VACUUM AWAY
AND EVERYTHING WENT BLACK.

IT CAN HAPPEN.

I FAINTED ONCE.

YOU DID ?YEAH.

WHEN I WAS PREGNANT.

I HOPE I'M NOT PREGNANT,
MRS. DURWIN.[ Laughs ]

[ Continues Laughing ]

YOU CAN CALL ME JANE.

COME ON, GET UP.

YOU LIKE CLOWNS ?YEAH, BUT I DON'T
EAT SAUSAGES.

THAT ONE IS SO CREEPY. I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW THEY'RE GOING TO SELL STUFF WITH IT.

- I'M FERRIN.
- HI. I'M VANN.

DOUG TOLD ME. YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T HAVE TO COUNT THEM.

YOU JUST NEED
TO SEPARATE THEM
ACCORDING TO ROUTE...

AND PUT THEM
IN THE BIN.

ACTUALLY, YOU
SHOULD TRY IT. HERE.

[ Separating Flyers ]

- HI, DOUG.
- TELL HIM TO SLOW DOWN.

HE WON'T HAVE
ANYTHING LEFT TO DO.

♪♪

HOW OLD ARE YOU ?

[ Vann Chuckling ] THAT'S SO FUNNY. I WAS GOING TO ASK YOU THE SAME THING.

I'M 34. [ Ferrin ]
OH, MY GOD.

I THOUGHT
YOU WERE 28
OR SOMETHING.

YOU KNOW WHO
THAT CAT BELONGS TO ?

THAT'S ZIP CODE.
SHE'S DOESN'T BELONG
TO ANYBODY.

EVERYBODY
BRINGS HER FOOD, THOUGH.
THAT'S HOW I FEED MY DOG.

YOUR DOG EATS CAT FOOD ?UH-HUH.

YOU EVER GET
TO DELIVER THE MAIL ? OH, NO.

BUT YOU GET TO SELL STAMPS.

A CARRIER CAN'T CLERK,
AND A CLERK CAN'T CARRY.

WE DON'T REALLY CROSS CRAFTS
AT THE POST OFFICE.

IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL.

DO YOU WANT TO GET A BEER
WITH ME AFTER WORK ?

I DON'T DRINK.

- WHAT'S OREGON FOR ?
- I USED TO LIVE THERE ONCE,
JUST FOR A WHILE.

- DOING WHAT ?
- I SOLD STEREOS
AND WORKED IN A SHOP.

ON ACCOUNT OF WHAT
DON'T YOU DRINK ?

I DON'T KNOW.

ON ACCOUNT OF NOTHING,
I GUESS.
[ Man ]
FERRIN.

WELL, IF YOU WANT,
I'LL BE AT HOBIE'S AFTER WORK.
YOU CAN WATCH ME.

[ TV Narrator ] THE CANE TOADS LIKE TO GO UNDERNEATH LIGHTS.

THE LIGHTS REFLECT THE MOTHS, THE INSECTS.

IN THIS WAY,
HE GOES UNDERNEATH IT
AND SWALLOWS THEM UP.

HIS REACTION
IS THE SAME THING
LIKE A VACUUM CLEANER.

IF HE SEES SOMETHING
DROP OFF, HE GOES
AND PICKS IT UP...

AND SWALLOWS IT IN
LIKE A VACUUM CLEANER
SUCKS IT INTO HIS BODY.

[ Scientist ]
GUT CONTENT ANALYSIS
HAS SHOWN...

THEY'LL EAT VIRTUALLY
ANY LIVING THING...

THAT'S SMALL ENOUGH
TO GET IN ITS MOUTH,

FROM FROGS
TO SMALL BIRDS...

TO CATERPILLARS
TO INSECTS, CRABS,

ALL SORTS OF THINGS.

ONE RESEARCHER SHOWED
THAT THE TOAD WILL EVEN TRY
AND EAT PING-PONG BALLS...

AS THEY BOUNCE PAST
THE FRONT OF THEM.

SO THE GENERAL SELECTION
OF FOOD FOR A CANE TOAD...

IS IF IT MOVES
OR EVEN IF IT DOESN'T MOVE.

IF IT CAN BE FITTED
INTO ITS MOUTH, IT WILL
ATTEMPT TO EAT IT.

WE EVEN FOUND
SITUATIONS...

IN WHICH THE WRETCHED TOADS WERE EATING THE NATIVE ANIMALS.

OKAY, PEOPLE.

WHAT WE'RE GOING TO BE
LOOKING FOR HERE IS ANYTHING
THAT DOESN'T LOOK RIGHT.

[ Vann ] IF I NEVER CAME TO THIS PLACE,

THESE PEOPLE WOULD BE SOMEWHERE ELSE RIGHT NOW:

OUT SHOPPING OR WATCHING TV.

BUT, INSTEAD, THEY'RE HERE TO LOOK FOR GENE,

AFRAID SOMETHING BAD HAS HAPPENED.

BUT WHO CAN SAY ?

MY OPINION IS YOU COULD MISS A BODY IN A SEARCH LIKE THIS.

WE KEEP OUR EYES TO THE GROUND, BUT WE'RE TOLD TO LOOK AT THE TREES AS WELL.

I GUESS IN CASE HE HUNG HIMSELF.

I LOOK HARDER THAN ANYBODY.

I LOOK SO HARD, I FORGET THERE'S NOTHING TO FIND.

DO YOU THINK
THAT THEY'LL HAVE
THE GAME STILL ?

YEAH...

BUT NO TURKEY DINNER.

OUT OF RESPECT
FOR THE FAMILY ?[ Scoffs ]

WHAT'S THERE
TO BE THANKFUL FOR ?

WE'LL GIVE OURS
TO THE NEEDY, I GUESS.

MAYBE HE'LL JUST
COME STROLLING BACK.

NO, HE WON'T.

HIS CAR NEVER
LEFT THE SHOP.

HE'S NOT COMING BACK.

HE NEVER LEFT.

I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU.

YOU'VE GOT INITIATIVE. I LIKE THAT.

I'M SHRINKING THE ROUTES
BECAUSE OF THE HOLIDAYS.

IT TAKES MY CARRIERS TOO LONG TO COMPLETE THEIR DISTANCE.

SO FOR THE TIME BEING, I NEED AN EXTRA BODY.

CAN YOU HANDLE IT ? [ Vann ]
YES, SIR.

HANDLE WHAT ?

YOU'VE GOT TO DRIVE A JEEP
WITH THE STEERING ON THE RIGHT.

YEAH, I'VE SEEN THEM.
NO PROBLEM. I CAN DO IT.

KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN.
LOOK OUT FOR DOGS.

IT'S ALL
IN THE CARRIER'S MANUAL.

YOU READ IT TONIGHT,
WE'LL CHECK YOU OUT
IN THE MORNING.

WHAT ?

WHERE DO I GET THE MANUAL ? OH.

[ Groans ]
UH, SEE OLD JOE LA MOINE THERE.
HE'LL GET YOU ONE.

[ Vann ] "UNEXPECTED ACCUMULATIONS OF MAIL...

"CAN BE A SIGN OF TROUBLE.

"IF THE CARRIER NOTICES THIS, HE TAKES THE INITIATIVE.

"IT EITHER MEANS THE INHABITANTS HAVE LEFT UNEXPECTEDLY
AND THE MAIL MUST BE SAVED...

OR IT MEANS SOMETHING IS WRONG AND SHOULD BE INVESTIGATED."

[ Minister ] DEAR LORD, TAKE GENE UNTO THY PROTECTION...

AND CHERISH HIM.

LISTEN TO HIS GRIEF
AND LET HIM EMPTY IT ONTO YOU.

[ Vann ] I COULD GET UP AND SPEAK ONE SINGLE SENTENCE,

AND ALL THIS WOULD COME TO A STOP.

IF I RAN, THEY'D CHASE ME, AND THEY'D CATCH ME.

EVERYBODY HERE AND EACH PERSON I'D TALK TO FOR A LONG TIME TO COME...

WOULD HAVE A STORY TO TELL.

IN THY NAME, WE PRAY
FOR HIS SWIFT RETURN.

LET US NOW PRAY.

[ Vann ] WITH GENE, FOR THE FIRST TIME, I BROKE BOTH MY RULES.

RULE ONE: DON'T GIVE A DRINK TO SOMEONE YOU KNOW.

RULE TWO: DON'T DO ANYBODY WHO LIVES IN THE SAME TOWN AS YOU.

WHY DID I ?

I'M NOT ONE WHO BELIEVES PEOPLE CRY OUT TO BE CAUGHT, BUT I DID IT.

TWO RULES AT ONCE.

HI, HONEY.
HELLO.

THIS IS
THE GENERAL.

HE'S SWEET.
COME ON.

IT'S EVEN SMALLER
THAN IT LOOKS.

[ Ferrin ] THE HOUSE ?THE DOG.

DOES HE REALLY EAT CAT FOOD ?

YEAH, HE LOVES IT. I'LL SHOW YOU.

MAYBE THAT'S WHY HE'S SMALL.

NO, THIS ISN'T SMALL.
THIS IS NICE, THIS CABIN.

REMINDS ME
OF A CABIN I USED TO HAVE.

[ Inhales ]
EVEN SORT OF SMELLS LIKE IT.

IT'S NOT MINE.
I DON'T OWN IT.

NEITHER DID I.

I FEEL LIKE I DO. YOU OUGHT TO.

BUT YOU LEAVE YOUR DOORS UNLOCKED.

THERE'S NOTHING TO STEAL
EXCEPT FOR THE DOG.

THERE'S YOU.

WHAT WOULD THEY DO
WITH ME ?

HOW'S THE ROUTE GOING ?

[ Vann ]
FINE, EXCEPT FOR THE JEEP. WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT ?

WELL... THERE'S
A MECHANICAL PROBLEM. WHAT'S THAT ?

THE DRIVER.
[ Laughing ][ Laughing ]

YOU'RE FUNNY.

[ Continues
Laughing ]

I'M LOSING IT.WHAT,
YOUR HAIR ?

YEAH, I AM.
A HUNDRED OR SO A DAY.

MAYBE WHEN YOU'RE 90,
BUT NOT NOW.

[ Clears Throat ]

WHAT'S THIS ?

I FOUND IT. WHERE ?

AT THE BEACH.

ARE YOU GONNA
STAY HERE ?

I HAVE TO GO.

I MEAN IN THE TOWN,
IN THIS TOWN.

I DON'T KNOW.

I HOPE SO.

ME TOO.

YOU WANT ME
TO TAKE YOU HOME ?

I GUESS THERE'S
NO NORMAL WAY TO DO
ANYTHING, IS THERE ?

[ Snapping Fingers ] COME ON, LET'S GO.

[ Vann ] PEOPLE TAKE THEIR CARRIERS FOR GRANTED,

TRUST THEM NOT TO READ THE SEALED ENVELOPES OR POSTCARDS, EVEN.

THEY STICK ON THEIR STAMPS AND HAVE FAITH.

I DELIVER THE MAIL, BUT NEVER GET ANY.

BUT STILL IT'S THE BEST JOB I'VE EVER HAD.

I COULD DO IT FOREVER.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?

THAT'S A FEDERAL OFFENSE,
ISN'T IT ?

YEAH.

DIDN'T YOU READ
THE CARRIER'S MANUAL ?

YOU THINK CRIME IS SOME FUCKING KIND OF ENTERTAINMENT ?

READING OTHER PEOPLE'S MAIL ?

YOU TELL ME. [ White Detective ] NO, NO.

IT'S NOT OUR JOB,
VANN-INSKY.

SPEAK UP, VANN.
EXPRESS YOURSELF.

I'VE GOT SEVEN EXPRESSIONS,

BUT I'LL SHOW YOU GUYS TWO
IF YOU WANT TO SEE THEM.

THAT'S NOT BAD,

EXCEPT NUMBER TWO
LOOKS AN AWFUL LOT
LIKE NUMBER ONE.

[ Black Detective ]
IS THAT THE TRICK OF IT ?

[ White Detective ] DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT GOING ON MEDICATION, VANN ?

MY MOUTH GETS REAL DRY,
AND I CAN'T SWALLOW.

YEAH ?

I GOT ONE I'LL SHOW YOU.

[ Thumping ]

YOU LIKE THAT ?

IT'S OKAY.

WAIT A MINUTE.

WE SHOW THIS GUY
OUR STUFF,

AND HE DOESN'T
TELL US SHIT.

HIT HIM.

[ Hammer Pounds ]

[ Jane, Doug Yelling, Indistinct ]

WHAT HAPPENED, DOUG ?

WHAT DO YOU THINK ?

YOU GOT IN A FIGHT ?GOT BEAT UP.

WHO ?ME !

[ Doug Groans, Falls ]

[ Groaning Continues ]

[ Doug Groans ]

YOU COMFORTABLE
ON YOUR ROUTE ?

IT'S NOT TOO HARD ON YOU, IS IT ?

AT FIRST A LITTLE.
BUT, NO, I LIKE IT;
IT'S NOT HARD.

I GOT THESE MOOD SWINGS.

I START SWINGING,
AND I'LL SWING OUT OF HERE.

IF I DON'T STOP,

SHE'LL LEAVE ME.

[ Groaning ]

LET'S TALK ABOUT
CHRISTMAS, OKAY ?

OKAY.

YOU START.

DON'T BE SHY.

LISTEN, IF KAREN'S
COMING HOME FOR CHRISTMAS...

AND YOU WANT I SHOULD...
LEAVE FOR A WHILE, I CAN.

NO, I DON'T WANT YOU
TO LEAVE FOR A WHILE.

SHE'S NOT COMING HOME
FOR CHRISTMAS, HALLOWEEN...

OR THE FUCKING FOURTH OF JULY EITHER !

[ Sighs ]

I JUST THOUGHT IF SHE WAS
COMING HOME FROM COLLEGE--

COLLEGE, MY ASS.

OUR LITTLE KAREN'S
NOT AT COLLEGE.

IF SHE IS,
IT'S NEWS TO ME.

I DON'T KNOW WHERE SHE IS.

ANYWAY...

YOU'RE THE DAUGHTER NOW.

VANN THE MAN.

FUCK HER... AND THE MOTHER
SHE RODE IN ON. OKAY ?

[ Louder ]
OKAY ?OKAY.

YOU'RE A VERY CONSIDERATE
PERSON, AREN'T YOU ?

YOU WANT SOMETHING TO DRINK ?

RIGHT.

[ Sighs ]
SHE'S SO HARD ON PEOPLE.

KAREN ?JANE !

SHE'S JUDGMENTAL.

PEOPLE WHO PASS HER
ON THE STREET--

[ Whispers ]
"OH, I DON'T LIKE
THAT PERSON."

I'M GONNA WATCH TV.

I'M GONNA WATCH TV !

IS DOUG OKAY ?

WHAT'S A TEN-LETTER WORD
FOR "WESTERN CONIFER" ?

I DON'T KNOW.
IS THAT A TREE ?

NO, DOUG IS NOT OKAY.

I WAS JUST WORRIED
BECAUSE--

YOU'RE WORRIED
BECAUSE HE TOLD YOU HE GOT
INTO A FIGHT LAST NIGHT ?

YOU KNOW
WHO BEAT HIM UP ?

HE DID.

HE BEAT HIMSELF UP.

I TRIED TO GET HIM
TO TAKE MEDICINE,
BUT HE WON'T DO IT.

HE WON'T DO ANYTHING
I TELL HIM TO DO.

HE ALWAYS LOOKS
FOR SOMEONE TO ADMIRE.

THERE'S ALWAYS SOMEBODY
ON THE TOP OF HIS LIST.

RIGHT NOW THAT PERSON IS YOU,
SO BE CAREFUL.

OF WHAT ?

BE CAREFUL YOU DON'T
WIND UP TAKING CARE OF HIM.

YOU WANT SOME COFFEE ?

NO, THANKS.
I HAVE TO GO TO WORK.

[ Engine Idling ]

[ Idling Continues ]

[ Revs Engine ][ Giggles ]

[ Idling Continues ]

YOU WANT TO GO
FOR A RIDE ?

WHERE WE GOING ?I DON'T KNOW.

WE GOT ALL DAY TO GET THERE,
I GUESS.WE GOT HALF THE DAY.

ARE YOU IN A GOOD MOOD ?YEAH, I'M HAPPY.

EVERYBODY'S HAPPY
ON A SATURDAY.

I STARTED THE ROUTE
ON A MONDAY,

SO THIS IS THE LAST
SATURDAY I'M GONNA HAVE.

MAYBE THEY'LL KEEP YOU ON.NO. NOPE.
CHRISTMAS IS OVER.

NO REASON
TO KEEP ME ON AFTER THAT.
ARTHUR ALREADY TOLD ME.

YOU KNOW WHY, IN THE OLD
DAYS, SAILORS AND FISHERMEN
NEVER LEARNED HOW TO SWIM ?

NO, WHY ?

BECAUSE IF YOU KNEW
HOW TO SWIM...

IT WOULD TAKE
SO MUCH LONGER
TO DROWN.

OH, I NEVER HEARD THAT.

YOU WANT TO GO IN ?NO.

I'M NOT COMFORTABLE
SWIMMING IN THE OCEAN.

I LIKE LAKES.

I NEVER REALLY
CARED FOR LAKES.

YOU DON'T CARE
FOR LAKES ?

[ Laughing ]
WHY DO YOU NOT CARE
FOR LAKES ?

I DON'T KNOW.
LAKES ARE LIKE...

STEPPING INTO SOMEBODY
ELSE'S UNDERWEAR.

[ Laughing ]

[ Continues Laughing ]

OOH.

♪ EVERY SOFT SHOE SHUFFLER

♪ CAN MAKE THIS END ♪ SOFT SHOE SHUFFLER

♪ AND HELD MY HAND

♪ OOH

♪ OOH, AH

♪ OOH

♪ OOH, AH

♪ LEAN IN CLOSER

♪ TAKE THE RIPPLE AWAY

♪ LEAN IN CLOSER

♪ SAY THE WORDS THAT YOU'LL STAY ♪

♪ AWAY

♪ AWAY

♪ AWAY

♪ AWAY

♪ AWAY ♪

[ Bird Screeches ]

[ Baby Gurgling ]

[ Gurgling Continues ]

[ Continues Gurgling ]

[ Tape Fast-Forwarding ]

♪ HAD A VERY SHINY NOSE

♪ AND IF YOU EVER SAW HIM

♪ YOU WOULD EVEN SAY IT GLOWS

♪ ALL OF THE OTHER
REINDEER ♪

♪ USED TO LAUGH
AND CALL HIM NAMES ♪

♪ THEY NEVER LET POOR RUDOLPH

♪ JOIN IN ANY REINDEER GAMES

♪ THEN ONE FOGGY
CHRISTMAS EVE ♪

♪ SANTA CAME
TO SAY ♪JANE.

♪ RUDOLPH
WITH YOUR NOSE
SO BRIGHT ♪

♪ WON'T YOU GUIDE
MY SLEIGH TONIGHT ♪♪

[ Turns Video Off ]

HONEY, HOW ABOUT WE
INVITE VANN DOWN ?

[ Doorbell Rings ]CHRIST,
HERE ALREADY.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
I'LL GET IT.

GOOD TO SEE YOU
AGAIN.GOOD TO SEE YOU.

HERE YOU GO.LET ME TAKE
YOUR COATS.

OH, SURE.
HERE'S MY PURSE.

[ Truck Departing ]

[ Vann ] IN MY MIND, I PREPARE FOR THE END,

EXPLAINING MYSELF TO PEOPLE I DON'T YET KNOW,

BUT I EXPECT SOMEDAY I'LL MEET.

A DARK GRAY METAL DESK IN A ROOM WITH FLUORESCENT LIGHTS.

I CAN ALMOST SEE THEM SOMEWHERE UP AHEAD OF ME,

WAITING FOR ME.

CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING,
VANNER ?

SODA OR SOMETHING ?

[ Light Arcs, Toilet Flushes ]

[ Footsteps ]

[ Footsteps Approaching ]

DON'T GIVE HIM SHIT.

WHAT'S HE GIVEN US ?

WHAT HE MEANS, VANN,
IS YOU'RE JUST GIVING US
STOCK ANSWERS.

WELL, ONE THING I THINK
YOU GUYS OUGHT TO LEARN
IS THE STORY'S MINE.

IT BELONGS TO ME,
SO I THINK I'LL TELL IT
MY WAY.

NO MATTER WHICH FUCKING WAY
YOU TELL IT,

THE GAS CHAMBER IS WHERE
YOU'RE HEADED, SIEGERT.

THAT'S ONE GUESS.

JUST LIKE TED BUNDY.

- [ Vann ] WHO ?
- [ Black Detective ]
HE TALKED REAL BIG TOO.

BUT IN THE END,
IT TOOK TWO DEPUTIES
TO HOLD HIM DOWN.

- YOU GOT ANY FRIENDS, VANN ?
- IT'S NOT JUST US, IS IT ?

UNLESS YOU COP TO THIS,
WE'RE NOT GONNA BE ABLE
TO HELP YOU OUT.

ONCE, WHEN I WAS YOUNG...

I WAS LAYING IN THE GRASS...

AND A SPIDER CRAWLED
IN MY EAR AND--

AND ?

WELL, HE CRAWLED OUT AGAIN.
NOBODY HOME.

FRANKLY, VANN,

I THINK HE WAS HOPING
FOR SOMETHING A LITTLE
MORE SUBSTANTIAL.

[ Laughing ]

YOU ARE A CYPHER, A ZERO.

AND HE WANTS US TO FUCKING KILL HIM. IS THAT IT ?

GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.

[ Falls To Floor ]

HEY.

[ Vann ] IRENE.

COFFEE'S ON THE HOUSE. [ Irene ] THANK YOU.

MERRY CHRISTMAS. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU.

[ Vann ] I'LL BET THIS IS THE ONLY PLACE OPEN TODAY.

AT LEAST THEY GOT
A CHRISTMAS TREE.

WHEN I WAS YOUNG, WE USED TO HAVE THEM, BUT NOT SINCE THEN.

[ Irene]
WHEN I WAS A KID,
WE ALWAYS HAD ONE.

MY POP MADE SURE OF IT.
THERE WAS THIS ONE
CHRISTMAS--

[ Vann ] SOME PEOPLE DIE IN LESS THAN A MINUTE.

OTHERS IT TAKES TEN.

I GUESS IT'S WHAT THEY CALL METABOLIC.

IF IT WASN'T CLOSED, I'D GO TO THE LIBRARY AND GET CLEAR ON THIS.

[ Irene Continues Talking,
Indistinct ]

[ Woman's Voice ] PEOPLE LIKE TO GET DRUNK AND KILL THEMSELVES IN CARS ON CHRISTMAS DAY,

SO BE CAREFUL.I WILL, MA'AM.

YOU WILL ?

WHAT ?ANYTHING.
WHATEVER YOU WANT.

[ Turns Engine Off ]

[ Unlocking Door ]

YOU'RE AN ARTIST.

SOMETIMES
I THINK I AM.

SOMETIMES
I'M NOT SO SURE.
[ Chuckles ]

DID YOU KNOW THAT PERSON ?

[ Irene ]
NO.

IT'S JUST SOMETHING
I MADE UP.

HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT
OF POSING FOR A PAINTING ?

WHERE'S YOUR
CHRISTMAS TREE ?

[ Softly ]
YOU HAVE TO LOOK VERY CLOSELY.

WHERE--
WHERE YOU GOING ?

TO GET MY SKETCH PAD.

[ Plane Passing Overhead ]

[ Starts Engine ]

VANN ?

YOU MISSED SOMETHING.

THERE'S A PRESENT FOR YOU
UNDER THE TREE.

COME ON DOWN.
WE'LL SHOW YOU.

[ Unwrapping Present ]

YOU GOT OUT OF HERE
THIS MORNING BEFORE
WE COULD GIVE THEM TO YOU.

[ Doug ] SNEAKY JANE GOT YOUR SHOE SIZE.

SHE WENT INTO YOUR ROOM
WHEN YOU WERE AT WORK.

I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND THAT.

GO ON. TRY 'EM.

TELL HIM.

[ Doug ] JOE'S HAD A HEART ATTACK.

JOE LA MOINE ?

WATCHING THE GAME,
GETS THIS FEELING
OF INDIGESTION.

POWWIE. NEXT THING,
HE'S IN THE HOSPITAL...

GETTING A TRIPLE BYPASS.IS HE GONNA BE OKAY ?

[ Doug ]
HE'S IN STABLE CONDITION,
AS THEY SAY.

THAT'S THE BAD NEWS.

DOUG, TELL HIM.

THE GOOD NEWS:
YOU BETTER SHINE UP
YOUR WALKING SHOES THERE.

I'D SAY YOU GOT ANOTHER
TWO MONTH'S WORK, AT LEAST;
MAYBE THREE.

WHY ?

YOU'VE BEEN PRESORTING JOE'S ROUTE LONG ENOUGH.

- ARTHUR'S GONNA ASK YOU
TO DO IT.
- HE IS ?

WHY NOT ? YOU'RE THE ONE WHO KNOWS IT.

DID YOU ENJOY
YOUR CHRISTMAS, VANN ?

YES, I DID, JANE.

THANKS.

[ Picks Up Shoe Box ]

TAKE SOME COOKIES.

[ Vann ] HALFWAY DOWN THE FIRST BLOCK...

ON THE FIRST DAY OF REPLACING JOE LA MOINE, I THINK OF HIS DAMAGED HEART.

I PROMISE MYSELF TO GO SEE HIM.

I'M CAREFUL NOT TO STEP IN THE SAME PLACES I THINK HE MIGHT HAVE WALKED.

[ Barking ]

[ Barking Continues ]

[ Continues Barking ]

[ Barking Continues ]

ALL I KNOW ABOUT THESE HOUSES STOPS AT THE FRONT DOOR.

I PICK UP CLUES ABOUT THE LIVES INSIDE BY THE SMELLS.

EACH ONE HAS ITS OWN.

NOT JUST COOKING EITHER.

I HAVE THE URGE TO GO IN, BUT I DON'T.

I LET WHAT THEY HAVE INSIDE REMAIN HIDDEN.

I THINK ABOUT PLAYING A LARGER PART.

DARE OPEN THEIR ENVELOPES. READ THEM THEIR MAIL.

"DEAR MRS. PARTUCCI, YOUR SON IS DEAD."

[ People Chattering, Indistinct ]

[ Chattering Continues ]

[ Continue Chattering ]

[ Mother ]
STOP IT.SORRY.

[ Giggling ] [ Mother ] OKAY, THAT IS ENOUGH.

A GUY MINDING
HIS OWN BUSINESS,

PROBABLY ON HIS WAY
HOME FROM WORK.

WHY HIM ?

I MEAN, WHY WOULD THIS
SO-CALLED URGE SAY...

THAT GUY,
BUT NOT THIS ONE ?

[ Vann ] I LOOK FOR THE MEANING OF THINGS,

WAIT FOR A SIGN, AN EVENT OF SOME KIND.

I HAVE STRONG FEELINGS ABOUT FERRIN LATELY.

[ Knocking,
Door Opens ]

WHAT'S A FOUR-LETTER WORD
FOR "LITTLE" ?

- "SMALL"
- THAT'S FIVE.

"TINY." THAT'S RIGHT.

"TYRANT."TYRANT ?

I DON'T KNOW. I NEED
EIGHT LETTERS.

"MARTINET."

LISTEN TO THIS:

"A 75-YEAR-OLD WOMAN
WAS KILLED LAST NIGHT...

"BY A 20-POUND LUMP
OF CONCRETE...

"DROPPED FROM THE ROOF
OF AN APARTMENT COMPLEX...

ON KATHERINE AVENUE
IN WESTBAIN."

NOW GET THIS PART.

"NEIGHBORS TOLD REPORTERS
IT WAS FAIRLY COMMON...

FOR HEAVY OBJECTS TO BE THROWN
FROM HIGH BUILDINGS
IN THEIR AREA."

I MUST HAVE MISSED THAT ONE.

- AND WHAT ABOUT GENE ?
- WHAT ABOUT HIM ?

WHAT'S GOING ON
AROUND HERE ?

I DON'T THINK
ALL THESE THINGS
ARE COINCIDENCES, DO YOU ?

BUT THAT WAS
IN THE NEXT TOWN.I KNOW, BUT GENE WASN'T.

WHAT DO YOU THINK
HAPPENED TO HIM ?

MAYBE HE JUST
WENT SOMEWHERE.

SOMETIMES PEOPLE GO,
START A NEW LIFE
FOR THEMSELVES.

[ Sighs ]

IS THAT WHAT YOU DID ?

I DON'T KNOW.
I NEVER REALLY
THOUGHT ABOUT IT.

WHAT'S THAT FOR ?

OH, JUST
TO RECORD MY... THOUGHTS.

THAT'S NICE.

WHAT DID YOU WRITE ?"IF YOU DON'T
HURRY BACK SOON,

THIS GIRL'S GONNA DIE
OF A BROKEN HEART,
NO PUN INTENDED.

LOVE, FERRIN."THAT'S GREAT.

WHAT ? [ Ferrin ]
NOTHING.

ARE YOU TRYING TO AVOID ME ?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN ?

WELL, I WAS THINKING
THAT MAYBE YOU WOULD HAVE
CALLED ME BY NOW.

I'VE BEEN SO TIRED
AFTER WORK EVERY DAY.

IT'S NO WONDER OLD JOE LA MOINE HAD HIMSELF A HEART ATTACK.

REALLY ?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING LATER ?

I HAVE TO GO
TO THE LIBRARY.

BUT I'LL CALL YOU.WHEN ?

AS SOON AS I GET YOUR NUMBER.I NEVER GAVE YOU MY NUMBER ?

YOU NEVER GAVE ME
YOUR NUMBER.

[ Laughs, Claps ]
OH, OKAY.

WELL... HAND.

OKAY. ALL RIGHTY.
[ Sets Pen Down ]

SO WHO HASN'T
SIGNED THE CARD YET ?

IN WHAT CAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED
AS A BIZARRE INCIDENT,

POLICE ARE NOW TREATING
THE CASE AS A HOMICIDE.

TOXICOLOGY TESTS
HAVE DETERMINED
THE SOURCE OF THE POISON:

AN EXTRACT FROM A VERY RARE PARASITIC FUNGUS...

THAT GROWS ONLY IN MOUNTAINOUS REGIONS OF THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST.

AN INQUEST IS SCHEDULED
FOR LATER NEXT WEEK.
NOW BACK TO YOU, DAVE.

[ TV News Continues,
Indistinct ]

[ Vann ] THE URGE ERASES THE PATH IT'S TRAVELED.

BUT THEY WILL BE SEARCHING FOR SOMEBODY;

SOMEBODY WHO ISN'T SHORT, ISN'T TALL,

ISN'T ANYTHING AT ALL.

NOT YET, BUT I AM BECOMING A FACT.

[ Vann ] I'M LOSING IT. [ Ferrin ]
WHAT, YOUR HAIR ?

YEAH, I AM. A HUNDRED OR SO A DAY.

MAYBE WHEN YOU'RE 90,
BUT NOT NOW.

[ Vann ] YOUR U.S. POSTAL SERVICE IS YOUR CARRIER OF NEWS AND KNOWLEDGE,

A CONSTANT SERVANT OF DEPARTED FRIENDS.

I WONDER IF DOUG AND JANE EVER GET A LETTER FROM KAREN.

FOR SURE PAUL AND LOIS WON'T GET ONE FROM GENE,

NOT UNTIL THERE'S A BODY OR PEOPLE ARE CERTAIN SOMEONE IS REALLY DEAD.

COME ON, BOY.

[ Doug ]
JANE'S BEEN LISTENING
TO YOUR TAPE RECORDER.

WHAT ?

THIS ISN'T BOOZE.

THIS SHIT IS WHAT
YOU PUT ON PANCAKES.

IT'S OKAY.
SHE TOLD ME
THERE'S NOTHING ON IT.

YEAH, I ERASED IT.

[ Chuckles ][ Sighs ]

GOOD FOR YOU.

FUCK !

GENE WAS MY MAN.

[ Crying ]

HEY ! DON'T DO THAT !

SORRY.

A PERSON'S BRAINS
ARE LIKE A--

LIKE A PET.

SOMETIMES--

SOMETIMES IT GETS LOOSE,
AND SOMETIMES IT GETS LOST.

SOMETIMES IT JUST,
SORT OF, BEHAVES ITSELF
AND STAYS IN THE YARD.

[ Sighs ]
THANKS.

[ Door Opens,
Closes ]

[ Minister ] FOR YOUR SINS, I WANT YOU TO SAY TEN HAIL MARYS, TEN OUR FATHERS,

AND PERFORM SEVEN HEARTFELT
ACTS OF CONTRITION,

ONE EVERY DAY
FOR A WEEK.

OH, FATHER,
I GOT SOME MAIL.

OH, THANK YOU.

I ABSOLVE YOU IN THE NAME
OF THE FATHER, THE SON
AND THE HOLY SPIRIT.

AMEN.

THE SAME POISON
WAS ALSO FOUND IN THE BODIES
OF THREE OTHER VICTIMS...

OF THE SERIAL KILLER
THOUGHT TO BE OPERATING
IN THIS AREA.

THE WOMAN, LAURIE BLOOM,
WAS LAST SEEN IN A TAVERN
EAST OF OWENSVILLE.

[ Vann ] THIS WOMAN ON TV IS TELLING EVERYBODY THE AUTOPSY OF GENE...

TURNED UP TRACES OF THE SAME POISON...

FOUND IN THE TISSUES OF THE MAN IN THE DINER.

TELLING ME I SHOULD BE MORE CAREFUL.

ALL THEY NEED IS A LITTLE FLAKE OF SKIN,

A STRAND OF HAIR, SOMETHING YOU LEFT BEHIND.

SOMETHING FOR THE F.B.I.

MY TRUCK.

I GOT TO GO
TO THE DENTIST.

RIGHT NOW ?TOMORROW.

JANE, SHE'S TAKING THE CAR
TO LOOK AT A HOUSE FOR SALE
DOWN IN, UH--

YOU GOT TOMORROW OFF ?

I NEED YOUR TRUCK.I THINK SO.

I'LL HAVE IT BACK
BY THE END OF THE DAY.

SURE.

YOU WANT
TO COME IN ?I GOT TO GO.

I GOT TO GO
EAT MY DINNER.

TWO GUYS, JUST LIKE US,

ARE GOING TO BE TAKING OVER
THIS CASE FULL-TIME.

THEY'RE GONNA READ
THE CORONER'S REPORT.

AND EVERY TIME THEY DO,
THEY'RE GONNA FIND
SOMETHING NEW.

[ White Detective ] INTERVIEW THE CUSTOMERS, THE COOK,

THAT GIRL AT THE DINER.

THEN BACK TO THAT
ASSHOLE BARTENDER.

THE LADY WITH THE BABY.

THEN THEY'LL HAVE SOME ARTIST START TO MAKE A SKETCH...

OF WHAT THEY DESCRIBE.

[ Knocking ]

[ Man ]
MR. DURWIN ?

I'M DETECTIVE PATE,
AND THIS IS
DETECTIVE CREECH.

MR. DURWIN,
THERE'S NO GOOD WAY
TO SAY THIS,

BUT THE BODY OF A WOMAN
WE HAVE REASON TO BELIEVE
IS YOUR WIFE...

WAS FOUND IN A VEHICLE
REGISTERED TO YOU.

JANE ? WELL, WE CAN'T BE
COMPLETELY SURE.

WE'RE GONNA NEED YOU TO MAKE
A POSITIVE IDENTIFICATION
OF THE BODY, SIR.

SO THEN, M-MAYBE--

BUT WE HAVE NO GOOD REASON
TO THINK THAT IT'S NOT HER.

JESUS CHRIST.

ARE YOU SAYING
SHE HAD AN ACCIDENT ?

WE CAN DRIVE YOU UP THERE
RIGHT NOW. THAT'D PROBABLY
BE THE BEST THING, SIR.

OH, YEAH.

I, UH--
I GOT TO GET MY COAT.

JANE IS DEAD.

JANE IS DEAD.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

I HAD TO IDENTIFY HER.

WHAT HAPPENED ?

[ Gasps ]

WHAT ARE YOU DOING ? I GOT TO GET DRESSED.

GOT TO GO TO WORK.

YOU CAN'T GO
TO WORK.

I'LL CALL THEM.
THEY'LL UNDERSTAND.

YOU THINK ?

I THINK THEY THINK I DID IT.

DID WHAT ? KILLED HER.

DID THEY SAY THAT ?

NOT IN SO MANY WORDS.

IT'S THESE MURDERS. WHAT MURDERS ?

- THE POISONER.
- SHE WAS POISONED ?

NO, THEY BASHED IN
THE BACK OF HER HEAD
WITH SOMETHING HARD.

SOME BASTARD BEATS MY WIFE
TO DEATH WITH A HAMMER...

AND STUFFS HER
IN THE TRUNK OF OUR CAR,

AND THE COPS
ARE TALKING TO ME.

THAT'S BECAUSE
YOU'RE THE HUSBAND,
NOT BECAUSE YOU DID SOMETHING.

THEY'RE GONNA WANT TO TALK TO YOU TOO.WHY ?

I BORROWED YOUR TRUCK.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN ? I BORROWED YOUR TRUCK.

- SO ?
- SO...

THEY MIGHT THINK
THAT WAS MY OPPORTUNITY.

- FOR WHAT ?
- TO FOLLOW HER, TO KILL HER.

SO MAYBE IT'S BETTER
YOU DIDN'T BORROW IT,
MY TRUCK.

[ Vann ] BOY, IF DOUG DID SOMETHING BAD TO HIS WIFE,

HE SURE PICKED A BAD TIME TO DO IT.

[ Car Stops ] [ Pate ] MR. SIEGERT ?

I'M DETECTIVE PATE.
THIS IS DETECTIVE CREECH.

WE'D LIKE TO ASK YOU
A COUPLE OF QUESTIONS
IF YOU DON'T MIND.

ALL RIGHT. [ Pate ] WOULD YOU LIKE TO GET IN ?

WE CAN DO IT RIGHT HERE. IT'LL JUST TAKE A COUPLE OF MINUTES.

I PROMISE
NOT TO HOLD UP
THE MAIL.

OKAY, SURE.

[ Door Locks ] [ Pate ]
COMFORTABLE ?

YES.

WE'RE INVESTIGATING
THE DEATH OF
MRS. JANE DURWIN.

I UNDERSTAND
YOU'RE A TENANT
IN THE DURWIN HOUSEHOLD.

THAT'S CORRECT. [ Creech ]
YOUR FIRST NAME--

IS THAT ONE "N" OR TWO ?

[ Vann ] THAT'S TWO N's.

[ Pate ] YOU'RE ON FRIENDLY TERMS WITH THE DURWINS, AREN'T YOU ?

YOU KNEW THEM PRETTY WELL, RIGHT ?CORRECT. YEAH.

WERE YOU AWARE
OF ANY PROBLEMS THEY
MAY HAVE BEEN HAVING ?

THEIR MARRIAGE ?

NO, NOT THAT I WAS AWARE OF.

HOW LONG YOU
LIVE THERE ? [ Vann ] NOVEMBER.

THERE HASN'T BEEN A SINGLE TIME
ONE OF THEM LOST THEIR TEMPER,

YELLED AT
THE OTHER ONE ?

I'M NOT SAYING
IT NEVER HAPPENED,
BUT I NEVER SAW IT.

SO YOU NEVER SAW HIM
GET VIOLENT WITH HER ?

YOU MEAN BEAT ON HER ? [ Creech ] YEAH.

NO. THE ONLY PERSON HE HITS
IS HIMSELF. [ Pate ] NO SHIT ?

[ Laughs ]
DO YOU RECALL
WHAT YOU WERE DOING
ON THE 18th ?

WHAT DAY WAS THAT ? [ Creech ]
THAT WOULD BE A THURSDAY.

THURSDAY.
I REMEMBER EXACTLY
WHAT I WAS DOING.

THAT WAS MY DAY OFF,
AND I SPENT THE DAY AT HOME.

YOU REMEMBER
IF HE BORROWED YOUR TRUCK ?

[ Pate ] OR DID HE TAKE IT WITHOUT YOU KNOWING ?

[ Creech ]
OR DID HE TAKE IT
AND NOT TELL YOU ?

I REMEMBER HE HAD
A DENTIST APPOINTMENT.

OKAY, DON'T WANT
TO HOLD YOU UP.

WE APPRECIATE IT.
NO MORE FOR NOW.
THANKS.

ALL RIGHT.
[ Tries To Open Door ]

YOU GUYS HAVE ANY LEADS ?

WELL, WE THINK SO.

BUT THEN, UH,
WE ALWAYS THINK SO.

SOMETIMES IT TURNS OUT
THAT WE DON'T HAVE SHIT.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP, MR. SIEGERT.

ALL RIGHT.
[ Tries To Open Door ]

I'M HAVING A HARD TIME
WITH THIS DOOR.

UNLOCK THE DOOR.

[ Door Unlocks ]THANKS.

"AND LIKE ALL THE OTHERS,
SOONER OR LATER OUR LOT
WILL FALL FROM THE URN.

"AND SO WE ARE CHOSEN
TO TAKE OUR PLACE
IN THAT DARK BOAT;

"IN THAT DARK BOAT
THAT WILL BEAR US ALL
AWAY FROM HERE...

TO WHERE NO ONE
COMES BACK FROM."

[ Vann ] THIS IS GOVERNED BY COMPLICATED MATHEMATICAL ODDS.

THE AMOUNT OF MAIL RECEIVED BY EACH HOUSE VARIES FROM DAY TO DAY,

YET IT OFTEN EVENS OUT OVER THE COURSE OF MANY ADDRESSES.

THERE'S A MYSTERY HERE I COULD ONE DAY BE TEMPTED TO EXPLORE...

[ Softly ]
HEY. WHEN I LEARN IT BETTER.

THIS IS THE GUY
THEY THINK POISONED
ALL THOSE PEOPLE.

IT SORT OF LOOKS LIKE ME,
DOESN'T IT ?

NO.

I'D LIKE TO COOK YOU DINNER.

YOU COOK ?NO.

[ Laughs ][ Giggles ]

- WHERE'S THE DOG ?
- HE'S IN THERE.

ONCE I WAS LAYING IN THE GRASS AND A SPIDER CRAWLED IN MY EAR.

AND ?

WHAT ? YOU SAID A SPIDER CRAWLED
IN YOUR EAR.

IS IT STILL IN THERE ?

NO, IT CRAWLED OUT AGAIN.
NOBODY HOME.

I JUST MEANT THAT, UH--

WHAT ? I GUESS I WAS TRYING TO SAY SOMETHING ABOUT EDUCATION.

- OH, DID YOU GO TO COLLEGE ?
- FOR A SEMESTER.

I SPENT A LOT OF TIME
IN THE WOODS.

I MEAN,
NOT LIKE AROUND HERE.

IN THE NORTH.

I THINK
IF I'VE LEARNED ANYTHING,

IT'S BECAUSE OF MY TIME ALONE,
JUST LISTENING,

BEING WITH THE PLANTS,
WATCHING THINGS:

SPIDERS, INSECTS,
WHATEVER THEY ARE.

[ Snickering ]

[ Both Laughing ]

[ Giggling ]

[ Chuckling ]

[ Continues Giggling ]

OW ! STOP IT !

STOP IT !
WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?
[ Screams ]

[ Dog Barking ] GET OFF ME !

[ Barking Continues ]

STOP !
STOP IT !

WHAT THE FUCK
ARE YOU DOING ?

- I THOUGHT--
- YOU THOUGHT WHAT ?

IS THIS WHAT YOU DO ?

[ Barking Continues ]

[ Whines ]

I WASN'T VERY GOOD AT DINNER.

FERRIN WAS RIGHT TO BE ANGRY.

EVEN THE DOG WAS UPSET.

I THINK ABOUT GOING BACK...

BUT NOW I HAVE TO STAY FOCUSED.

[ Rhythmic Tapping ]

[ Knocking ]

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ?I WAS WONDERING
ABOUT JOE LA MOINE.

WHAT ABOUT JOE LA MOINE ?

I JUST THOUGHT THAT MAYBE
HE WAS COMING BACK TO WORK.

THAT'S NEWS TO ME.

WELL, I JUST SAW THE LIGHT ON,
SO I THOUGHT THAT I'D ASK.

LAST TIME I HEARD,
HE WAS DOING JUST FINE.

YOU OKAY ?

MM-HMM.

YOU LOOK LIKE YOU CAN USE SOME SLEEP.

I'M SORRY. I'M JUST--
[ Stammering ] THANKS.

I MEAN IT.
THANK YOU. I'M SORRY
FOR COMING IN LIKE THIS.

[ Tapping Continues ]

WE'RE NOT GONNA HAVE ANY FUN,
ARE WE, VANNER ?

WAIT, WAIT ! DON'T !

[ Chuckling ]

HE'S ALWAYS ON HIS TOES,
ISN'T HE ?

WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO
WITHOUT YOU, VANN ?

- WHERE YOU GOING ?
- SOMEONE ELSE IS HANDLING
YOUR CASE NOW.

♪♪ [ Playing Badgers' Fight Song
On Piano ]

♪♪ [ Continues ]

♪♪ [ Hits Wrong Notes,
Continues ]

♪♪ [ Continues ]

♪♪ [ Ends ]

♪♪ [ Fight Song, Livelier ]

♪♪ [ Continues ]

♪♪ [ Continues ]

♪♪

[ Doug ]
♪ I WENT TO THE BULLFIGHT
TO SEE HIM ♪

♪ WHILE SHOWING
HIS DARING DISPLAY ♪

♪ I WENT FOR SOME NUTS
AND A PROGRAM ♪

♪ AND THEN
HE STOLE HER AWAY ♪

♪ I SWEAR IF I MEET
THAT SPANISH ONION ♪

♪ I'LL PLANT A BUNION
ON THAT BLIGHTER TONIGHT ♪

♪ HE SHALL DIE [ Knocking ]

♪ HE SHALL DIE
HE SHALL DIE-- ♪♪

VANN SIEGERT...
STEP ASIDE, PLEASE.

DOUGLAS DURWIN.YES.

I HAVE HERE A WARRANT
FOR YOUR ARREST FOR THE MURDER
OF JANE CATHCART DURWIN.

OH, NO.TURN AROUND, PLEASE.

[ Car Departs ]

[ Vann ] NOW THAT HE'S GONE, THE BIRDS HAVE COME.

IF IT WASN'T SO SAD, IT COULD BE FUNNY.

[ Brakes Squeak ]

IT'S THE LIGHT; YOU GO INTO IT, THEN OUT OF IT.

I'M NOT SURPRISED THIS COUNTRY HAS SO MUCH VIOLENCE.

I'M SURPRISED IT HAS SO LITTLE.

SOME PEOPLE CAN'T BEAT IT.

DOUG COULDN'T. BUT I'M NOT DOUG.

IF THEY LET ME GET TO WHEREVER IT IS I'M GOING, I'LL MAKE A PACT WITH MYSELF.

GUESS I'LL KNOW WHERE THAT IS WHEN I GET THERE.

EVENTUALLY I CAN GET ANOTHER JOB, HOPEFULLY IN A POST OFFICE,

NOW THAT I'VE GOT EXPERIENCE.

♪♪

♪♪

♪ WE ARE ALL LIKE ASTRONAUTS ♪

♪ DISCOVERING INFINITY

♪ TAKE MY EMPTY BODY AND DISCOVER ME, INFINITY ♪

♪ FORGET THE ENDLESS LONGING SO ♪

♪ IT'S CRAZY YOU AND CRAZY ME ♪

♪ I AM, I AM

♪ I AM, I AM

♪ I AM

♪ INFINITY

♪♪ [ Vocalizes ]

♪ WE ARE ALL LIKE ASTRONAUTS ♪

♪ THE LITTLE THINGS I WANT TO PLEASE ♪

♪ NEVER MIND YOUR HABITS

♪ ABSOLUTELY YOU ENCOURAGE ME ♪

♪ FORGET THE ENDLESS LONGING SO ♪

♪ IT'S CRAZY YOU AND CRAZY ME ♪

♪ I AM, I AM

♪ I AM, I AM

♪ I AM

♪ INFINITY

♪♪ [ Vocalizes ]

♪ I

♪ GET

♪ BIG

♪ NOW

♪ BUSTED

♪ SO

♪ HIGH

♪ THE WASTING OF OUR LIPS

♪ THEY'RE INTERLOCKING WE ARE CENTIPEDES ♪

♪ TAKE THIS TO THE FLOOR

♪ IT'S INTERSTELLAR WITH OUR BLUE-BLACK KNEES ♪

♪ FORGET THE ENDLESS LONGING SO ♪

♪ IT'S CRAZY YOU AND CRAZY ME ♪

♪ I AM, I AM

♪ I AM, I AM

♪ I AM

♪ INFINITY

♪♪ [ Vocalizes ]

♪ I

♪ GET

♪ BIG

♪ NOW

♪ BUSTED

♪ SO

♪ HIGH ♪

♪♪ [ Vocalizes ]

[ Laughing ]

CLOSED-CAPTIONED BY
CAPTIONS, INC. LOS ANGELES

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