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[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
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NARRATOR: You unlock this
door with the key of imagination.
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Beyond it is another dimension…
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A dimension of sound,
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a dimension of sight,
a dimension of mind.
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You're moving into a land of
both shadow and substance,
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of things and ideas.
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You've just crossed over
into the Twilight Zone.
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MAN [INSIDE]: Now,
here is this prizefighter
10
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who made this vow to this girl.
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If this one ain't surefire,
I'll cut off both my hands.
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I'll absolutely cut off both my hands.
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You ready? Are you ready?
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Champion of the World,
Kirk Douglas, maybe.
15
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Burt Lancaster.
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You want to make him younger?
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Tony Curtis.
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I give you Tony Curtis.
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I appreciate it.
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So now he's champion of the world
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but he's made a promise to
this girl never to fight again.
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You know, like a vow.
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Vow, Mr. Hugo. It's like a promise.
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I mean, like solemn.
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And now, comes the meat.
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This is what grabs you right here.
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He's got to fight, but
he promised his girl.
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And when he tells her, she's aghast.
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This broad is palpitating.
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She calls the champion
a filthy, rotten, dirty…
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She's adamant, is that what you mean?
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Oh, is this girl adamant.
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She's adamant like
nobody ever was adamant.
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WOMAN: Mr. Hugo?
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You're wanted on line one.
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Bless you.
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Excuse me, Julius.
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See, the beauty of this story
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is you can couch it in so many terms.
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Maybe he ain't a prizefighter.
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Maybe he's a cowboy, a top gun,
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and he promised his girl
never to carry a gun again.
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Maybe it's the girl's kid brother
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who has this incurable
disease. [CHUCKLES]
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What's the matter?
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That don't grip?
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Why don't you go downstairs
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and cross the street against a red light?
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HUGO: Bye.
50
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How about if it was a
science fiction piece?
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This rocket man makes
a promise to his girl
52
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never to go up in a spaceship again.
53
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You've been here all morning.
54
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I'll give you this.
55
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I've been an agent for 23 years
56
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and I have never heard
57
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of so many variations of the same story.
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Would you mind going home?
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I've got a big deal cooking,
it's very complicated.
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A big deal!
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You, you, you mean
actually like a big deal?
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Oh, you doll baby.
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You absolute doll baby.
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You were saving it for
a surprise, weren't you?
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That's what you were doing,
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bet you made a sale, right, Mr. Hugo?
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You made a sale.
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Ah, the zombie story!
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I should have known it.
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The minute I wrote it,
I knew it was surefire.
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Absolute surefire.
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It's a fantastic yarn, honey.
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It's about this dame who marries a guy
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who walks on his heels all the time.
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She thinks he's punchy,
but it turns out he's dead.
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All the time they're married,
she don't know he's dead.
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Julius, let me put it to you this way:
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The zombie story didn't sell.
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00:03:06,453 --> 00:03:11,707
The love story where the lady
scientist falls in love with a robot?
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That didn't sell.
81
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Your Western where the president
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of the Union Pacific Railroad
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turns out to be Belle Starr?
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That didn't sell.
85
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Your idea of changing The Millionaire
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into The Multimillionaire
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and making an hour show of it?
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This they laughed me
right out of the office with.
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So I have to put it up to you.
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I really simply have to put it up to you.
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Why in the world do you persist?
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Can you answer me?
93
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Why do you persist?
94
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Why don't you go back to
doing what you did before?
95
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A streetcar conductor?
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Mr. Hugo, it's like progress.
97
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There ain't no more streetcars.
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Besides, I get travel sickness.
99
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Let me put it to you this way:
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Number one, you will never make a writer.
101
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Number two, you'll
starve to death if you try.
102
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Number three, you're wasting your time,
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my time, producers'
time, everybody's time.
104
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Phone Jerry Bauscher at Paramount.
105
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See when he's through there.
106
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Tell him I've got a television series.
107
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But that's my meat, a television series.
108
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Mr. Hugo, don't you get it?
109
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It's like a bolt from heaven.
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I got so many television series ideas
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I don't sleep nights.
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I got television series ideas
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what nobody never thought of.
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Boy meets girl.
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Every week, a different boy and girl.
116
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-Julius…
-How about a quiz show?
117
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Pick Your Own Embalmer.
118
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The contestant, when he kicks off…
119
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Julius, what do I have to do,
120
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what do I have to say
to get you out of here?
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Give me a chance.
122
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Give me first dibs at this, uh,
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this… this television series
thing or whatever it is.
124
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Let me do the pilot, please.
125
00:04:52,430 --> 00:04:55,933
Julius, my boy, sit down.
126
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Julius, I'm not a hard man.
127
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I'm not a mean man.
128
00:04:59,896 --> 00:05:03,857
But the television industry is
looking for talent, for quality.
129
00:05:03,941 --> 00:05:07,069
They're preoccupied
with talent and quality.
130
00:05:07,153 --> 00:05:09,153
And the writer is a major commodity.
131
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Let me give it a try.
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Let me give it a whirl.
133
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I mean, let me walk it around the block
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a couple of times.
135
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What about this series?
136
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Maybe it and me can go together.
137
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Well, that's the point.
138
00:05:23,293 --> 00:05:25,211
This particular series
and you go together
139
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like the black and tan at an
Irish Republican Army picnic.
140
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The series happens to
be about black magic,
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conjuring, that kind of thing.
142
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Now…
143
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What do you know about black magic?
144
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[LAUGHING] Oh, ho…
Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
145
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What do I know about it?
146
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[LAUGHING] What do I know
about black magic and conjuring?
147
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Oh, come on.
148
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I could research it.
149
00:05:52,613 --> 00:05:55,240
Julius, would you leave me now?
150
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Please.
151
00:05:56,867 --> 00:05:59,202
Will you let me get back to my work?
152
00:05:59,286 --> 00:06:01,705
Oh, let me have a try
at this series, please.
153
00:06:01,789 --> 00:06:03,540
Why can't I research it?
154
00:06:03,624 --> 00:06:07,960
Look, Mr. Hugo, Mr. Hugo,
my career is on the line.
155
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Give me till next Wednesday.
156
00:06:10,505 --> 00:06:12,131
Make it Tuesday?
157
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Look, look, in a pinch,
158
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I'll have something for you by Monday.
159
00:06:15,385 --> 00:06:17,469
All right, all right, Julius.
160
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Latch on to a couple of
books, knock out a rough draft,
161
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and let me have it by four o'clock Monday.
162
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I'll submit it for you.
163
00:06:25,812 --> 00:06:29,899
Why, I'll never know,
but I'll submit it for you.
164
00:06:29,983 --> 00:06:32,902
Oh, Mr. Hugo, you
won't live to regret it.
165
00:06:32,986 --> 00:06:36,864
And I mean it from
the cockles of my heart.
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You're probably dead right, Julius.
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And I mean it from
the cockles of my heart.
168
00:06:44,079 --> 00:06:49,918
Oh… thank you, thank you.
169
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NARRATOR: You've
just witnessed opportunity,
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if not knocking, at least
scratching plaintively
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on a closed door.
172
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Mr. Julius Moomer, a would-be writer,
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who, if talent came 25 cents a pound,
174
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would be worth less than carfare.
175
00:07:03,598 --> 00:07:05,350
But in a moment, Mr. Moomer,
176
00:07:05,434 --> 00:07:07,726
through the offices of some black magic,
177
00:07:07,810 --> 00:07:10,312
is about to embark on a brand-new career.
178
00:07:10,396 --> 00:07:12,606
And although he may
never get a writing credit
179
00:07:12,690 --> 00:07:14,316
on The Twilight Zone,
180
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:17,028
he's to become an
integral character in it.
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00:07:43,928 --> 00:07:45,846
[SHOP BELL RINGS]
182
00:07:45,930 --> 00:07:49,183
[BASEBALL GAME PLAYING ON RADIO]
183
00:07:49,267 --> 00:07:51,602
MALE ANNOUNCER: A slider
that broke outside, one and one.
184
00:07:51,686 --> 00:07:53,854
Now Tom Haller jogs out to
the mound to talk to Sanford.
185
00:07:53,938 --> 00:07:55,856
That might've been a missed signal there.
186
00:07:55,940 --> 00:07:57,900
Haller seemed to be
looking for the fastball.
187
00:07:57,984 --> 00:08:00,194
-The one and one pitch.
-[BAT CONNECTING WITH BALL]
188
00:08:00,278 --> 00:08:02,947
Chacon swings and lifts an
easy fly ball to center field.
189
00:08:03,031 --> 00:08:05,491
Willie Mays in and
makes the basket catch.
190
00:08:05,575 --> 00:08:07,951
That brings up Gil Hodges,
one down, bottom of the sixth.
191
00:08:08,035 --> 00:08:10,036
What do you think about him?
192
00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:11,371
Who?
193
00:08:11,455 --> 00:08:13,206
Gil Hodges.
194
00:08:13,290 --> 00:08:15,542
Can you explain how
anybody in their right mind
195
00:08:15,626 --> 00:08:17,210
could get rid of Gil Hodges?
196
00:08:17,294 --> 00:08:19,462
Well, I, I suppose…
197
00:08:19,546 --> 00:08:22,632
Suppose that's all in the point of view.
198
00:08:22,716 --> 00:08:24,342
Precisely. Absolutely.
199
00:08:24,426 --> 00:08:26,302
You've got a good mind, young man.
200
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Extremely good mind.
201
00:08:27,554 --> 00:08:29,389
Th… Thank you.
202
00:08:29,473 --> 00:08:31,099
It's the top of the sixth,
203
00:08:31,183 --> 00:08:33,727
the Giants are leading
the Mets, six to two.
204
00:08:33,811 --> 00:08:36,729
Excuse me a minute.
205
00:08:36,813 --> 00:08:38,856
[RADIO SHUTS OFF]
206
00:08:38,940 --> 00:08:40,065
He's out.
207
00:08:40,149 --> 00:08:41,483
Who?
208
00:08:41,567 --> 00:08:42,943
Gil Hodges.
209
00:08:43,027 --> 00:08:45,237
Now, uh, what will it be for you?
210
00:08:45,321 --> 00:08:48,824
Well, um… [CLEARS THROAT]
211
00:08:48,908 --> 00:08:52,077
Um… I'd like to see a keat.
212
00:08:52,161 --> 00:08:53,662
[LAUGHING]
213
00:08:53,746 --> 00:08:56,665
That's a man's name, not a thing.
214
00:08:56,749 --> 00:08:59,835
And it's not a very
uncommon name at that, Keats.
215
00:08:59,919 --> 00:09:02,296
There was a third baseman,
came up from Newark
216
00:09:02,380 --> 00:09:04,006
played for the Yankees one year.
217
00:09:04,090 --> 00:09:06,507
They used to call him Beanball Keats.
218
00:09:06,591 --> 00:09:09,761
He held the American League
record two seasons in a row
219
00:09:09,845 --> 00:09:11,846
for getting beaned the most times.
220
00:09:11,930 --> 00:09:13,848
[LAUGHS] Old Beanball Keats.
221
00:09:13,932 --> 00:09:15,683
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
222
00:09:15,767 --> 00:09:18,394
Well, you learn something
new every day, don't you?
223
00:09:18,478 --> 00:09:20,772
Did you ever hear of a
pitcher named Slattery?
224
00:09:20,856 --> 00:09:22,440
String Bean Slattery?
225
00:09:22,524 --> 00:09:23,983
Well, I, uh…
226
00:09:24,067 --> 00:09:26,152
There was a beanball artist.
227
00:09:26,236 --> 00:09:29,781
Um, he could hit a batter
when he was still in the dugout.
228
00:09:29,865 --> 00:09:31,824
As a matter of fact, he did one day.
229
00:09:31,908 --> 00:09:33,409
Hit a third base coach.
230
00:09:33,493 --> 00:09:35,410
Now, where were we?
231
00:09:35,494 --> 00:09:37,412
Well, I, I don't think
232
00:09:37,496 --> 00:09:39,831
it makes too much difference.
233
00:09:39,915 --> 00:09:42,793
You see, what I came
in to ask about, uh…
234
00:09:42,877 --> 00:09:45,128
Well, I wanted to know if, uh…
235
00:09:45,212 --> 00:09:48,840
Well, what I have on my mind is, uh…
236
00:09:48,924 --> 00:09:51,259
What do you got on black magic?
237
00:09:51,343 --> 00:09:52,844
Black magic?
238
00:09:52,928 --> 00:09:55,847
I'm Julius Moomer from television.
239
00:09:55,931 --> 00:09:58,391
Now, what is it you wanted?
240
00:09:58,475 --> 00:09:59,768
Black magic.
241
00:09:59,852 --> 00:10:01,770
Books on black magic.
242
00:10:01,854 --> 00:10:04,271
Oh, I'm afraid not.
243
00:10:04,355 --> 00:10:07,149
I'm afraid that one eludes me.
244
00:10:07,233 --> 00:10:08,359
[THUD]
245
00:10:24,709 --> 00:10:31,298
Ye Book of ye Black Arte.
246
00:10:31,382 --> 00:10:34,801
Hey, lady, do that trick again.
247
00:10:34,885 --> 00:10:38,179
This book and I have
never been introduced.
248
00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:39,931
We're total strangers.
249
00:10:40,015 --> 00:10:42,016
Here, you want black magic?
250
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:43,601
You got black magic.
251
00:10:43,685 --> 00:10:46,354
It's been a real pleasure meeting you.
252
00:10:46,438 --> 00:10:49,023
A real pleasure.
253
00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:51,025
You didn't happen to play third base
254
00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:53,278
for the Elmira Pioneers
one year, did you?
255
00:10:53,362 --> 00:10:55,780
How much do I owe you for the book?
256
00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:58,658
Oh, nothing, nothing,
accept it as a gift.
257
00:10:58,742 --> 00:11:01,578
You're a wonderful ball
player and a credit to the sport.
258
00:11:01,662 --> 00:11:03,746
It's been wonderful having this chat.
259
00:11:47,038 --> 00:11:48,331
Va-va-voom.
260
00:11:48,415 --> 00:11:49,749
Za-za-zoom.
261
00:11:49,833 --> 00:11:50,875
Va-va-voom.
262
00:11:50,959 --> 00:11:53,044
Ipsy-dipsy.
263
00:11:53,128 --> 00:11:54,713
Va-va-voom.
264
00:12:04,930 --> 00:12:07,057
DRIVER: All right, buddy.
265
00:12:07,141 --> 00:12:09,226
This is public transportation,
266
00:12:09,310 --> 00:12:11,562
and there's rules
about bugging the driver.
267
00:12:14,023 --> 00:12:15,065
Who, me?
268
00:12:15,149 --> 00:12:17,651
You! Out!
269
00:12:38,671 --> 00:12:44,093
Ara-gatum… basilitant-ee…
270
00:12:44,177 --> 00:12:50,725
Roga-bottom-um… nordoff.
271
00:12:58,191 --> 00:13:00,275
Hey, Julius, what's the bit?
272
00:13:00,359 --> 00:13:01,859
What are you doing?
273
00:13:01,943 --> 00:13:04,904
Ah, whatever I was doing,
274
00:13:04,988 --> 00:13:06,864
I wasn't doing it right.
275
00:13:06,948 --> 00:13:09,784
Ah. Black magic, black schmagic.
276
00:13:09,868 --> 00:13:12,412
There's more here
than meets the eyeballs.
277
00:13:12,496 --> 00:13:15,665
I done everything it says and nothing.
278
00:13:15,749 --> 00:13:18,543
Ye Book of ye Black Arte:
279
00:13:18,627 --> 00:13:24,966
Being a Step-By-Step
Education in Conjuring.
280
00:13:25,050 --> 00:13:27,885
So tell me, Faust, to what end?
281
00:13:27,969 --> 00:13:31,013
Cora, I am standing on the threshold.
282
00:13:31,097 --> 00:13:32,723
I… I mean, I'm hovering.
283
00:13:32,807 --> 00:13:34,725
One of these days
284
00:13:34,809 --> 00:13:37,686
there's gonna be a big long
limousine parked down below
285
00:13:37,770 --> 00:13:41,606
-with two lizardy coachmen…
-Liveried.
286
00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:43,817
That's what I mean.
287
00:13:43,901 --> 00:13:45,319
In uniform.
288
00:13:45,403 --> 00:13:47,029
And they're gonna rap on your door
289
00:13:47,113 --> 00:13:49,156
and invite you and
your old lady downstairs
290
00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:51,408
for a night on the town with their boss
291
00:13:51,492 --> 00:13:54,536
that eminent, well-known, highly popular
292
00:13:54,620 --> 00:13:56,788
beloved Wurlitzer Prize-winner…
293
00:13:56,872 --> 00:13:58,998
Pulitzer.
294
00:13:59,082 --> 00:14:00,791
That's the guy.
295
00:14:00,875 --> 00:14:02,793
Who you gonna find on the back seat
296
00:14:02,877 --> 00:14:05,546
smoking a buck cigar? Hmm?
297
00:14:05,630 --> 00:14:08,883
Modesty prohibits.
298
00:14:08,967 --> 00:14:11,719
Just as a point of interest, Julius,
299
00:14:11,803 --> 00:14:13,137
what are you doing?
300
00:14:13,221 --> 00:14:14,680
[SCOFFING]
301
00:14:14,764 --> 00:14:16,432
Don't you dig?
302
00:14:16,516 --> 00:14:19,352
I'm conjuring, baby, I'm conjuring.
303
00:14:19,436 --> 00:14:21,354
Conjuring who?
304
00:14:21,438 --> 00:14:24,023
Who knows? I just read this here book
305
00:14:24,107 --> 00:14:25,691
and I got me all the ingredients
306
00:14:25,775 --> 00:14:27,109
or most of them, anyway.
307
00:14:27,193 --> 00:14:28,943
Man.
308
00:14:29,027 --> 00:14:31,863
"Four tufts of feathers from a falcon…"
309
00:14:31,947 --> 00:14:34,157
I got 'em from a pigeon.
310
00:14:34,241 --> 00:14:36,993
Uh… "Sand from Egypt…"
311
00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:41,122
I still had some in my
sneakers from Jones Beach.
312
00:14:41,206 --> 00:14:43,083
"Three legs of a spider…"
313
00:14:43,167 --> 00:14:45,043
I found me an ant.
314
00:14:45,127 --> 00:14:48,129
Well, anyway, that and
with a few improvisations
315
00:14:48,213 --> 00:14:50,215
I got me a spell working here.
316
00:14:50,299 --> 00:14:52,258
When my mother finds
out what you're doing,
317
00:14:52,342 --> 00:14:54,386
you better conjure up
the Army and the Navy.
318
00:14:54,470 --> 00:14:56,221
You're gonna need them.
319
00:14:56,305 --> 00:14:58,430
Anyone ever tell you
you were a dirty rotten kid?
320
00:14:58,514 --> 00:15:00,599
Why don't you go take a cold shower?
321
00:15:00,683 --> 00:15:02,518
Go ahead, get out of here.
322
00:15:02,602 --> 00:15:04,479
I'll turn you into a frog!
323
00:15:08,274 --> 00:15:11,402
Oh, I don't know exactly
what's going to happen
324
00:15:11,486 --> 00:15:13,654
but it better happen soon.
325
00:15:20,786 --> 00:15:22,788
[CLEARS THROAT]
326
00:15:22,872 --> 00:15:25,207
Za-za-zoom.
327
00:15:25,291 --> 00:15:27,542
Ala-kazam.
328
00:15:27,626 --> 00:15:28,710
Va-va-voom!
329
00:15:33,590 --> 00:15:35,926
Ah, what's the use?
330
00:15:39,721 --> 00:15:41,931
[SIGHING]
331
00:15:42,015 --> 00:15:43,183
Oh.
332
00:15:48,230 --> 00:15:49,939
Oh, man.
333
00:15:50,023 --> 00:15:53,610
What do they think I am,
William Shakespeare?
334
00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:29,477
Now, look, pal.
335
00:16:29,561 --> 00:16:31,687
I, uh, I don't want you
336
00:16:31,771 --> 00:16:33,355
to take this personal, but, uh,
337
00:16:33,439 --> 00:16:34,982
like a guy should maybe knock
338
00:16:35,066 --> 00:16:36,817
when he comes into a room, huh?
339
00:16:36,901 --> 00:16:39,487
I mean, uh, some people
ain't as with-it as me.
340
00:16:39,571 --> 00:16:43,908
They take one look at you and
they get a blast of a coronary.
341
00:16:43,992 --> 00:16:45,576
They get all shook up.
342
00:16:45,660 --> 00:16:47,953
Now, me, I can handle these things.
343
00:16:48,037 --> 00:16:51,124
I mean, I'm with it.
344
00:17:14,896 --> 00:17:16,981
Give me a stick, I'll beat it to death.
345
00:17:17,065 --> 00:17:21,694
I await your pleasure.
346
00:17:21,778 --> 00:17:25,489
Look, look, what do you
want from me already?
347
00:17:25,573 --> 00:17:28,992
Prithee, good sir, ask
not what I want of thee
348
00:17:29,076 --> 00:17:31,578
but what does thou ask
of William Shakespeare.
349
00:17:31,662 --> 00:17:34,873
Would you try that one again?
350
00:17:34,957 --> 00:17:36,500
It appears I must speak
351
00:17:36,584 --> 00:17:38,961
in the parlance of the time… your time.
352
00:17:39,045 --> 00:17:42,047
I simply said, good sir, it
was you who conjured up me,
353
00:17:42,131 --> 00:17:43,549
and I'm at your service.
354
00:17:43,633 --> 00:17:46,010
What would you ask of me?
355
00:17:53,100 --> 00:17:56,894
Look… level with me, pops, will you?
356
00:17:56,978 --> 00:18:03,025
You mean to say that
you're the Shakespeare?
357
00:18:03,109 --> 00:18:05,861
Man, you've been dead a thousand years.
358
00:18:05,945 --> 00:18:07,738
It is true, of course.
359
00:18:07,822 --> 00:18:10,866
But death is relative
and need not be the end.
360
00:18:10,950 --> 00:18:12,451
You required a service of me.
361
00:18:12,535 --> 00:18:17,915
Hence, I am at your disposal.
362
00:18:17,999 --> 00:18:20,459
"He speaks, yet he says nothing."
363
00:18:20,543 --> 00:18:23,046
Romeo and Juliet, act two, scene two.
364
00:18:33,013 --> 00:18:34,014
Quaint.
365
00:18:34,098 --> 00:18:35,390
Decidedly quaint.
366
00:18:35,474 --> 00:18:37,309
A writing machine, perchance?
367
00:18:37,393 --> 00:18:39,561
I presume that is the mission.
368
00:18:39,645 --> 00:18:43,565
You would ask me to compose
a sonnet, perchance, or a play?
369
00:18:43,649 --> 00:18:45,734
You have but to ask, mister…
370
00:18:45,818 --> 00:18:49,112
Moomer, is it?
371
00:18:49,196 --> 00:18:53,116
You… You mean…
372
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:57,036
You mean you could knock
me out a couple of pieces?
373
00:18:57,120 --> 00:18:59,455
Good sir, you have but to ask.
374
00:18:59,539 --> 00:19:04,627
What nature of authorship
would you require?
375
00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:08,797
Well, um… how about if, uh…
376
00:19:08,881 --> 00:19:13,093
How about if…
377
00:19:13,177 --> 00:19:16,055
I'm going to waste William Shakespeare
378
00:19:16,139 --> 00:19:20,017
on a lousy half-hour pilot?
379
00:19:20,101 --> 00:19:21,685
I got me an idea, Will.
380
00:19:21,769 --> 00:19:23,186
You don't mind if I call you Will?
381
00:19:23,270 --> 00:19:24,937
"What's in a name?
382
00:19:25,021 --> 00:19:26,939
"That which we call a
rose by any other name"
383
00:19:27,023 --> 00:19:28,524
would smell as sweet."
384
00:19:28,608 --> 00:19:30,443
Oh, man, what language.
385
00:19:30,527 --> 00:19:32,570
Don't let nobody knock your stuff, Will.
386
00:19:32,654 --> 00:19:33,988
Man, you got potential.
387
00:19:34,072 --> 00:19:36,366
You are loaded with potential.
388
00:19:36,450 --> 00:19:37,909
Here's what we're going to do.
389
00:19:37,993 --> 00:19:40,244
You and me are going to collaborate.
390
00:19:40,328 --> 00:19:42,455
What I mean is, you do the rough draft
391
00:19:42,539 --> 00:19:44,916
and I'll do the polishing.
392
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:47,001
Now, I'll tell you what.
393
00:19:47,085 --> 00:19:49,796
We'll go slow at first, just
till you get the feel of it,
394
00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:52,255
and then, we'll do an hour film.
395
00:19:52,339 --> 00:19:54,883
Something with, um, star attraction.
396
00:19:54,967 --> 00:20:00,222
You know, like, uh… Ingrid Bergman.
397
00:20:00,306 --> 00:20:02,766
Ingrid Bergman?
398
00:20:02,850 --> 00:20:05,560
You never heard of Ingrid Bergman?
399
00:20:05,644 --> 00:20:07,270
Where you been, pal?
400
00:20:07,354 --> 00:20:09,231
Never mind, don't tell me.
401
00:20:09,315 --> 00:20:12,526
"A comely woman, I take
it, one fairer than my love.
402
00:20:12,610 --> 00:20:15,529
"The all-seeing sun ne'er saw her match"
403
00:20:15,613 --> 00:20:17,531
since first the world begun."
404
00:20:17,615 --> 00:20:19,574
Solid, Will, now that's the kind of stuff
405
00:20:19,658 --> 00:20:21,410
that's going to win ball games.
406
00:20:21,494 --> 00:20:23,035
You just start writing,
407
00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:25,037
anything that comes to mind.
408
00:20:25,121 --> 00:20:27,623
Uh, maybe a twist on
the Romeo-Juliet thing.
409
00:20:27,707 --> 00:20:30,376
Oh, swear not by the moon,
410
00:20:30,460 --> 00:20:34,004
that crazy moon.
411
00:20:34,088 --> 00:20:36,257
Go ahead, bubbee, write.
412
00:20:36,341 --> 00:20:38,718
[BELL RINGS]
413
00:20:38,802 --> 00:20:40,761
If you don't mind.
414
00:20:40,845 --> 00:20:44,640
Mind? Will, baby, I don't
care if you write with your feet.
415
00:20:44,724 --> 00:20:47,476
Here, here, I'll move
the typewriter for you.
416
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:49,353
Give you some ink. There we are.
417
00:20:49,437 --> 00:20:50,979
Go ahead, Will, you create.
418
00:20:51,063 --> 00:20:53,565
I'll go make some coffee.
419
00:20:53,649 --> 00:20:55,484
[SINGING TO SELF EXCITEDLY]
420
00:21:03,492 --> 00:21:05,326
Gilbert and Sullivan.
421
00:21:05,410 --> 00:21:07,162
Lerner and Loewe.
422
00:21:07,246 --> 00:21:09,664
Rimsky and Korsakov.
423
00:21:09,748 --> 00:21:11,542
Moomer and Shakespeare.
424
00:21:20,217 --> 00:21:22,134
What are they saying?
425
00:21:22,218 --> 00:21:24,136
I just asked you a question.
426
00:21:24,220 --> 00:21:25,888
What are they talking about?
427
00:21:25,972 --> 00:21:27,931
What do I look like, a radar set?
428
00:21:28,015 --> 00:21:31,143
I presume they're
talking about your script.
429
00:21:31,227 --> 00:21:34,021
That's the point, honey,
what's there to talk about?
430
00:21:34,105 --> 00:21:38,275
That stuff is poetry,
it's, well, uh, it's…
431
00:21:38,359 --> 00:21:42,362
It's Shakespearean!
432
00:21:42,446 --> 00:21:43,989
Good afternoon.
433
00:21:44,073 --> 00:21:45,449
Is Mr. Bramhoff in there with Mr. Hugo?
434
00:21:45,533 --> 00:21:47,367
We're from the network.
435
00:21:47,451 --> 00:21:52,789
They're expecting you, sir, go right in.
436
00:21:52,873 --> 00:21:53,956
Yes?
437
00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:55,374
Something?
438
00:21:55,458 --> 00:21:58,127
You got a light?
439
00:21:58,211 --> 00:22:00,171
No, I don't got a light.
440
00:22:00,255 --> 00:22:02,507
Look, it just so happens
that you don't know
441
00:22:02,591 --> 00:22:03,758
who you're talking to.
442
00:22:10,724 --> 00:22:12,683
Bramhoff, the big-shot producer?
443
00:22:12,767 --> 00:22:14,685
Two guys from the network?
444
00:22:14,769 --> 00:22:16,229
Oh, man, I knew it was good,
445
00:22:16,313 --> 00:22:18,314
but I didn't know it was that good.
446
00:22:18,398 --> 00:22:20,190
It's just something I knocked off
447
00:22:20,274 --> 00:22:21,566
in a couple of hours.
448
00:22:21,650 --> 00:22:23,193
It's a shoo-in for the Emmy,
449
00:22:23,277 --> 00:22:25,195
but I didn't know it was that important.
450
00:22:25,279 --> 00:22:28,490
That's me, honey, I just
don't know my own worth.
451
00:22:28,574 --> 00:22:32,202
Monday, I knock myself,
Tuesday, I knock myself,
452
00:22:32,286 --> 00:22:33,787
Wednesday, I knock myself…
453
00:22:33,871 --> 00:22:35,872
Got any outside openings for Thursday?
454
00:22:35,956 --> 00:22:37,583
I'd like to make an application.
455
00:22:40,336 --> 00:22:41,837
I don't know.
456
00:22:41,921 --> 00:22:44,130
That's our feeling too, Mr. Bramhoff.
457
00:22:44,214 --> 00:22:47,342
Sponsor-wise, the thing
requires some noodling.
458
00:22:47,426 --> 00:22:50,594
That is to say, we can't
abruptly and perfunctorily
459
00:22:50,678 --> 00:22:52,638
jump off the bridge with this one.
460
00:22:52,722 --> 00:22:55,057
I mean, let's be cerebral, boys.
461
00:22:55,141 --> 00:22:57,101
Well, I'll say this for it.
462
00:22:57,185 --> 00:22:59,728
It's a beautifully written thing.
463
00:22:59,812 --> 00:23:01,021
It's so archaic.
464
00:23:01,105 --> 00:23:03,607
I mean, language-wise.
465
00:23:03,691 --> 00:23:08,237
May I?
466
00:23:08,321 --> 00:23:10,114
[CLEARS THROAT]
467
00:23:10,198 --> 00:23:13,909
"As fresh as a bridegroom,
and his chin, new-reaped,
468
00:23:13,993 --> 00:23:17,663
"showed like a stubble
land at harvest home."
469
00:23:17,747 --> 00:23:19,706
"He was perfumed like a milliner"
470
00:23:19,790 --> 00:23:22,417
"and 'twixt his finger and his thumb"
471
00:23:22,501 --> 00:23:24,711
"he held a pouncet box"
472
00:23:24,795 --> 00:23:28,756
and ever anon, gave it to his nose."
473
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:32,760
And, uh, "took't away again."
474
00:23:32,844 --> 00:23:36,681
Well, you've got say
this for it: It has imagery.
475
00:23:36,765 --> 00:23:39,601
Imagery it has.
476
00:23:39,685 --> 00:23:40,768
May I?
477
00:23:40,852 --> 00:23:42,187
Oh, please.
478
00:23:47,192 --> 00:23:50,444
"And if the boy have not a woman's gift
479
00:23:50,528 --> 00:23:53,363
"to rain a shower of commanded tears"
480
00:23:53,447 --> 00:23:57,743
an onion will do well for such a shift."
481
00:23:57,827 --> 00:23:58,827
Onion?
482
00:23:58,911 --> 00:24:00,120
Sponsor conflict.
483
00:24:00,204 --> 00:24:01,413
Concur.
484
00:24:01,497 --> 00:24:04,625
Could we make it a… turnip?
485
00:24:04,709 --> 00:24:06,043
Solid thinking.
486
00:24:06,127 --> 00:24:07,669
Turnip.
487
00:24:07,753 --> 00:24:09,379
Very sociable.
488
00:24:09,463 --> 00:24:11,423
Everybody knows about turnips.
489
00:24:11,507 --> 00:24:13,800
You say turnip to the lady in Dubuque
490
00:24:13,884 --> 00:24:15,427
she's with you.
491
00:24:15,511 --> 00:24:18,512
I like it.
492
00:24:18,596 --> 00:24:20,723
We could call the writer in now.
493
00:24:20,807 --> 00:24:22,433
A tremendous talent.
494
00:24:22,517 --> 00:24:23,768
A prodigy of mine.
495
00:24:23,852 --> 00:24:25,728
What are his credits?
496
00:24:25,812 --> 00:24:27,688
He was a streetcar conductor.
497
00:24:27,772 --> 00:24:29,523
But a tremendous observer
498
00:24:29,607 --> 00:24:31,067
of the passing scene.
499
00:24:31,151 --> 00:24:33,402
An incredible judge of human beings.
500
00:24:33,486 --> 00:24:35,363
You can see that in every line.
501
00:24:35,447 --> 00:24:39,742
A modern-day chronicler of human foibles.
502
00:24:39,826 --> 00:24:41,494
Solid.
503
00:24:41,578 --> 00:24:43,496
Oh, excuse me.
504
00:24:43,580 --> 00:24:44,873
[BUZZER]
505
00:24:48,250 --> 00:24:50,585
AGENT: Send in Mr. Moo…
506
00:24:50,669 --> 00:24:51,962
How are you, Mr. Hugo?
507
00:24:52,046 --> 00:24:53,964
Wonderful. How are you?
508
00:24:54,048 --> 00:24:56,299
You look fine. It's good to see you.
509
00:24:56,383 --> 00:24:58,051
How are you, gentlemen?
510
00:24:58,135 --> 00:24:59,177
[CHUCKLES]
511
00:24:59,261 --> 00:25:04,432
Huh? Huh?
512
00:25:04,516 --> 00:25:06,017
Like literature, huh?
513
00:25:06,101 --> 00:25:07,811
It shows some promise.
514
00:25:07,895 --> 00:25:09,813
Mr. Dolan here represents
515
00:25:09,897 --> 00:25:12,816
the sponsor of Shannon Spectaculars.
516
00:25:12,900 --> 00:25:14,818
The Shannon Food Corporation.
517
00:25:14,902 --> 00:25:17,528
You've no doubt eaten their products.
518
00:25:17,612 --> 00:25:19,154
Endlessly.
519
00:25:19,238 --> 00:25:20,864
He's a Shannon booster from way back.
520
00:25:20,948 --> 00:25:22,825
Man, like that's the truth.
521
00:25:22,909 --> 00:25:25,452
That Shannon onion soup… this I dig.
522
00:25:25,536 --> 00:25:27,079
We don't make onion soup.
523
00:25:27,163 --> 00:25:28,872
That's French in origin.
524
00:25:28,956 --> 00:25:30,499
We're an American firm.
525
00:25:30,583 --> 00:25:32,918
Red, white and blue right down the line.
526
00:25:33,002 --> 00:25:34,962
Man, I am glad you said that.
527
00:25:35,046 --> 00:25:37,464
I always say, if it's good
enough for the lady in Dubuque
528
00:25:37,548 --> 00:25:39,174
it's good enough for Julius.
529
00:25:39,258 --> 00:25:44,680
Well, let's get down
to some business here.
530
00:25:44,764 --> 00:25:46,097
The Tragic Cycle.
531
00:25:46,181 --> 00:25:52,770
Written by… Julius Moomer.
532
00:25:52,854 --> 00:25:54,355
Yours truly.
533
00:25:54,439 --> 00:26:00,778
Read for you now by… yours truly.
534
00:26:00,862 --> 00:26:04,782
[CLEARS THROAT]
535
00:26:04,866 --> 00:26:07,785
"Act one, scene one.
536
00:26:07,869 --> 00:26:11,957
The camera fades on
with a shot of a garden."
537
00:26:16,836 --> 00:26:21,132
PRESENTER: Twilight Zone will
continue after station identification.
538
00:26:35,896 --> 00:26:39,191
Well, the whole thing about writing,
539
00:26:39,275 --> 00:26:41,610
the whole bit is simply that you, uh,
540
00:26:41,694 --> 00:26:44,029
shouldn't get discouraged.
541
00:26:44,113 --> 00:26:46,405
You gotta stay in there
and keep punching.
542
00:26:46,489 --> 00:26:48,824
All the time punching.
543
00:26:48,908 --> 00:26:51,535
As Keats once said to the Paris edition
544
00:26:51,619 --> 00:26:54,622
of the
New York Herald Tribune, Keats said,
545
00:26:54,706 --> 00:26:57,374
"keep punching."
546
00:26:57,458 --> 00:27:01,128
Ladies and gentlemen,
this is Celebrity Interviews.
547
00:27:01,212 --> 00:27:03,547
Our guest tonight, Mr. Julius Moomer,
548
00:27:03,631 --> 00:27:05,591
that rising young television author
549
00:27:05,675 --> 00:27:08,135
whose drama production The Tragic Cycle
550
00:27:08,219 --> 00:27:11,555
will be seen next week on
The Shannon Classic Playhouse.
551
00:27:11,639 --> 00:27:13,265
Now, a viewing reminder.
552
00:27:13,349 --> 00:27:15,350
Each week on Celebrity Interviews
553
00:27:15,434 --> 00:27:17,477
we bring you the
personalities of show business
554
00:27:17,561 --> 00:27:19,729
who make the headlines and the stories.
555
00:27:19,813 --> 00:27:22,273
Playwrights, actors, actresses…
556
00:27:22,357 --> 00:27:25,485
All the living legends of
show business as it is today.
557
00:27:25,569 --> 00:27:27,362
How about that, Will?
558
00:27:27,446 --> 00:27:31,991
Verily, a most impressive performance.
559
00:27:32,075 --> 00:27:34,494
Ain't that the truth?
560
00:27:34,578 --> 00:27:36,788
This last question now, Mr. Moomer,
561
00:27:36,872 --> 00:27:40,250
I'm told that you've been
writing for some period of time.
562
00:27:40,334 --> 00:27:42,085
As a matter of fact,
563
00:27:42,169 --> 00:27:44,086
I think it was your agent, Mr. Hugo,
564
00:27:44,170 --> 00:27:46,797
who showed me some
of your earlier material.
565
00:27:46,881 --> 00:27:50,634
You've come a long way, Mr. Moomer.
566
00:27:50,718 --> 00:27:55,264
Well, it's like progress.
567
00:27:55,348 --> 00:28:00,727
For example, one of the things
I looked at was a zombie story.
568
00:28:00,811 --> 00:28:02,312
Now, how about that?
569
00:28:02,396 --> 00:28:04,022
That grabbed, didn't it?
570
00:28:04,106 --> 00:28:05,983
Course, it was a bit controversial,
571
00:28:06,067 --> 00:28:08,068
and that's why it didn't get on the air,
572
00:28:08,152 --> 00:28:11,405
but I always did try to
tackle controversial stuff.
573
00:28:11,489 --> 00:28:13,698
I mean, ugly butchers and dog dames,
574
00:28:13,782 --> 00:28:17,451
that's all right for Chayefsky,
but Moomer aspires.
575
00:28:17,535 --> 00:28:20,371
What I mean is, Moomer
always thought tall.
576
00:28:20,455 --> 00:28:24,417
There was another story
you wrote, Mr. Moomer.
577
00:28:24,501 --> 00:28:26,377
I seem to recollect
578
00:28:26,461 --> 00:28:29,130
that it was a suggested series.
579
00:28:29,214 --> 00:28:31,340
A kind of situation comedy
580
00:28:31,424 --> 00:28:34,218
involving a multimillionaire.
581
00:28:34,302 --> 00:28:36,137
Just plain J.P.
582
00:28:36,221 --> 00:28:39,307
The whole thing there was
583
00:28:39,391 --> 00:28:41,142
we're always seeing stuff
584
00:28:41,226 --> 00:28:43,393
about typical husbands
and wives and kids.
585
00:28:43,477 --> 00:28:46,313
Why not give a nod to
the… to the big shots?
586
00:28:46,397 --> 00:28:50,108
I mean, what they call the
"rubber barons," like that?
587
00:28:50,192 --> 00:28:51,943
I mean, just because you're heeled,
588
00:28:52,027 --> 00:28:54,487
that don't make you unhuman.
589
00:28:54,571 --> 00:28:57,073
Hmm… I may try to reconstitute that one.
590
00:28:57,157 --> 00:29:00,160
JULIUS [ON TV]: Just plain J.P…
591
00:29:00,244 --> 00:29:02,245
The story that asks the question
592
00:29:02,329 --> 00:29:04,956
"Can a man who makes $9 million a year
593
00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:07,626
find happiness in a small mansion?"
594
00:29:07,710 --> 00:29:10,295
But you gotta remember one thing.
595
00:29:10,379 --> 00:29:13,297
In order to be a
writer, you gotta suffer.
596
00:29:13,381 --> 00:29:15,424
I mean, I still remember those…
597
00:29:15,508 --> 00:29:18,052
Those cold nights in that dark attic,
598
00:29:18,136 --> 00:29:21,138
with hardly enough
strength to push a key.
599
00:29:21,222 --> 00:29:24,892
And all the time, a small
voice inside me kept saying,
600
00:29:24,976 --> 00:29:28,395
"Go, Julius, go."
601
00:29:28,479 --> 00:29:32,066
So I went.
602
00:29:32,150 --> 00:29:35,236
Inspiring, Mr. Moomer, truly inspiring.
603
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:37,071
Ladies and gentlemen,
604
00:29:37,155 --> 00:29:39,532
you've been listening
to Mr. Julius Moomer.
605
00:29:43,493 --> 00:29:45,411
That kind of got me.
606
00:29:45,495 --> 00:29:47,163
Like here.
607
00:29:47,247 --> 00:29:51,334
I, too, felt a twinge of a sort.
608
00:29:51,418 --> 00:29:53,628
I believe I finished this last sequence.
609
00:29:53,712 --> 00:29:56,172
Oh, good, good, good.
610
00:29:56,256 --> 00:29:57,590
Ah, uh-huh, uh-huh.
611
00:29:57,674 --> 00:30:00,593
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
612
00:30:00,677 --> 00:30:02,053
Oh, Will, bubbee,
613
00:30:02,137 --> 00:30:03,805
you got such a thing with words.
614
00:30:03,889 --> 00:30:05,723
It comes from working
in an attic, Mr. Moomer.
615
00:30:05,807 --> 00:30:08,059
A little voice deep inside prods me
616
00:30:08,143 --> 00:30:11,395
and keeps saying, "Go, William, go."
617
00:30:11,479 --> 00:30:12,396
Hmm? Oh?
618
00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:13,772
[CACKLES]
619
00:30:13,856 --> 00:30:16,566
Oh, great, great, only great.
620
00:30:16,650 --> 00:30:18,235
[SIGH OF EXHILARATION]
621
00:30:18,319 --> 00:30:20,570
The Shannon Food Corporation presents…
622
00:30:20,654 --> 00:30:22,990
[TOOTS LIKE A TRUMPET]
623
00:30:23,074 --> 00:30:27,411
The Tragic Cycle,
written by Julius Moomer.
624
00:30:27,495 --> 00:30:29,997
[MORE FANFARE]
625
00:30:30,081 --> 00:30:33,208
From an original story by Julius Moomer
626
00:30:33,292 --> 00:30:38,714
with additional dialogue
by… Julius Moomer.
627
00:30:38,798 --> 00:30:42,258
[HUMMING ORCHESTRAL INTRODUCTION]
628
00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:52,018
Man.
629
00:30:52,102 --> 00:30:54,312
It's a good thing I'm modest, Will.
630
00:30:54,396 --> 00:30:58,274
You know, a thing like this
could go to a guy's head.
631
00:30:58,358 --> 00:31:01,861
They're already talking to
me about two and a half hour specs,
632
00:31:01,945 --> 00:31:04,905
movie contracts, maybe
a Broadway musical.
633
00:31:04,989 --> 00:31:06,449
♪ A scub-a-dub-a doo ♪
634
00:31:06,533 --> 00:31:08,075
♪ I love you ♪
635
00:31:08,159 --> 00:31:11,786
♪ Put me on the stage, I'll be a rage ♪
636
00:31:11,870 --> 00:31:15,290
♪ Scub-a-dub-a doo, a scub-a-dub-a doo ♪
637
00:31:15,374 --> 00:31:18,335
♪ Julius Moomer will play for you ♪
638
00:31:18,419 --> 00:31:24,466
♪ Racky sack, I'm flush. ♪
639
00:31:24,550 --> 00:31:27,469
What's the matter, Will?
You don't look good.
640
00:31:27,553 --> 00:31:29,012
"Like a strutting player
641
00:31:29,096 --> 00:31:30,972
whose conceit lies in his hamstring."
642
00:31:31,056 --> 00:31:33,475
Troilus and Cressida,
act one, scene three.
643
00:31:33,559 --> 00:31:35,477
In short, Mr. Moomer,
644
00:31:35,561 --> 00:31:37,437
you have not been prone to
extend credit where it's due.
645
00:31:37,521 --> 00:31:38,937
At no time, for example,
646
00:31:39,021 --> 00:31:41,023
have I heard the name Shakespeare,
647
00:31:41,107 --> 00:31:43,609
or any suggestion of collaboration.
648
00:31:43,693 --> 00:31:45,486
Now wait a minute, wait a minute.
649
00:31:45,570 --> 00:31:47,613
Will, baby, look, we got
to play this one by ear.
650
00:31:47,697 --> 00:31:49,615
How's it gonna look if I tell them
651
00:31:49,699 --> 00:31:51,992
a guy named William Shakespeare
helped me to write this?
652
00:31:52,076 --> 00:31:54,411
They'd stick me in a
rubber room in a jacket.
653
00:31:54,495 --> 00:31:56,955
That as it may be, the
point is, Mr. Moomer,
654
00:31:57,039 --> 00:31:58,207
I finished my task.
655
00:31:58,291 --> 00:31:59,583
I will now take my leave.
656
00:31:59,667 --> 00:32:00,959
Take your leave?!
657
00:32:01,043 --> 00:32:02,586
Are you out of your mind?
658
00:32:02,670 --> 00:32:05,005
Why, this whole thing's coming up velvet!
659
00:32:05,089 --> 00:32:07,007
We're riding on the gravy train.
660
00:32:07,091 --> 00:32:09,884
You wanna creep back into
some crypt and get forgotten?
661
00:32:09,968 --> 00:32:12,220
Listen, man, you're
making the scene big now.
662
00:32:12,304 --> 00:32:14,055
Everybody's always talking
663
00:32:14,139 --> 00:32:16,349
about how my stuff
sounds like Shakespeare's.
664
00:32:16,433 --> 00:32:19,435
Will, bubbee, I'm gonna make
you a household word again.
665
00:32:19,519 --> 00:32:21,521
With all due modesty, sir,
666
00:32:21,605 --> 00:32:24,524
the name of William Shakespeare
has survived the test of time
667
00:32:24,608 --> 00:32:26,526
without the support of Julius Moomer.
668
00:32:26,610 --> 00:32:27,902
You don't dig.
669
00:32:27,986 --> 00:32:30,363
Fame flits.
670
00:32:30,447 --> 00:32:33,074
I mean, who remembers
yesterday's champions?
671
00:32:33,158 --> 00:32:35,118
Sure, Ruth hit 60 home runs,
672
00:32:35,202 --> 00:32:37,702
but it's Roger Maris they're
always asking for autographs.
673
00:32:37,786 --> 00:32:39,913
And Nijinsky was a pretty good dancer.
674
00:32:39,997 --> 00:32:42,416
But who remembers her last movie?
675
00:32:42,500 --> 00:32:44,418
And Will Shakespeare did some writing
676
00:32:44,502 --> 00:32:46,586
but out of sight, out of mind.
677
00:32:46,670 --> 00:32:50,590
Shakespeare is dead,
long live Mickey Spillane!
678
00:32:50,674 --> 00:32:52,175
Look, look, Will, baby,
679
00:32:52,259 --> 00:32:53,718
Will, baby, come here.
680
00:32:53,802 --> 00:32:56,096
Look, you can't desert the ship now.
681
00:32:56,180 --> 00:32:58,223
I mean, what are people going to say?
682
00:32:58,307 --> 00:33:01,351
That fink Shakespeare got no gratitude.
683
00:33:01,435 --> 00:33:03,019
We can do it, baby, we can do it.
684
00:33:03,103 --> 00:33:05,772
Look, we got a hundred
projects we can do.
685
00:33:05,856 --> 00:33:08,107
We'll go to Hollywood, California.
686
00:33:08,191 --> 00:33:11,735
Babes out there are crazy
about guys with beards.
687
00:33:11,819 --> 00:33:13,529
I shall ponder it, Mr. Moomer.
688
00:33:13,613 --> 00:33:14,947
Until when?
689
00:33:15,031 --> 00:33:16,574
Until the morrow.
690
00:33:16,658 --> 00:33:18,242
Since you have not seen fit
691
00:33:18,326 --> 00:33:20,119
to invite me to the
rehearsals of our play,
692
00:33:20,203 --> 00:33:21,745
tomorrow I shall do precisely that.
693
00:33:21,829 --> 00:33:23,789
I shall survey the actors performing,
694
00:33:23,873 --> 00:33:26,041
and if justice is done
to what I have wrought
695
00:33:26,125 --> 00:33:27,960
perhaps I may remain for a time longer
696
00:33:28,044 --> 00:33:30,963
and write other things.
697
00:33:31,047 --> 00:33:32,548
Now you're talking, Will!
698
00:33:32,632 --> 00:33:34,550
Now you're talking!
699
00:33:34,634 --> 00:33:37,719
I think I will take a walk now.
700
00:33:37,803 --> 00:33:41,473
"I am that merry wanderer of the night."
701
00:33:41,557 --> 00:33:47,645
A Midsummer Night's Dream,
act two, scene one.
702
00:33:47,729 --> 00:33:49,647
"To be, or not to be,"
703
00:33:49,731 --> 00:33:51,400
Mr. Moomer, "That…"
704
00:34:08,749 --> 00:34:11,668
Go to the rehearsal?
705
00:34:11,752 --> 00:34:14,671
How could he go to the rehearsal?
706
00:34:14,755 --> 00:34:18,342
Will! Will!
707
00:34:18,426 --> 00:34:20,094
Will, don't rock the boat!
708
00:34:26,017 --> 00:34:27,726
DIRECTOR: All right, everybody.
709
00:34:27,810 --> 00:34:29,561
Give me your attention, please.
710
00:34:29,645 --> 00:34:31,063
We can walk through
this one with scripts,
711
00:34:31,147 --> 00:34:33,857
but I'd count it a personal favor
712
00:34:33,941 --> 00:34:35,233
if we could get these lines learned
713
00:34:35,317 --> 00:34:37,276
by Thursday at the latest.
714
00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:39,028
I hate to throw complicated stage action
715
00:34:39,112 --> 00:34:40,488
at you now at this point,
716
00:34:40,572 --> 00:34:42,073
but you'll note that in this act,
717
00:34:42,157 --> 00:34:43,866
we've got a real problem of movement.
718
00:34:43,950 --> 00:34:45,952
I want to take most of
this stuff in close shots
719
00:34:46,036 --> 00:34:49,497
and some very rapid,
sporadic cutting back and forth.
720
00:34:49,581 --> 00:34:51,499
I think it'll heighten
the piece tremendously.
721
00:34:51,583 --> 00:34:54,544
Mr. Shannon, we feel
ourselves extremely fortunate
722
00:34:54,628 --> 00:34:57,463
to secure the services of Rocky Rhodes.
723
00:34:57,547 --> 00:34:59,340
Rhodes, schmodes. I sell soup.
724
00:34:59,424 --> 00:35:01,217
I don't nothing about actors.
725
00:35:01,301 --> 00:35:03,386
Which one is Rhodes?
726
00:35:03,470 --> 00:35:09,182
He's the attractive
one in the sweatshirt.
727
00:35:09,266 --> 00:35:12,686
That's an actor?
728
00:35:12,770 --> 00:35:16,022
Well, he was brilliant in
Streetcar Named Desire.
729
00:35:16,106 --> 00:35:17,607
Streetcar Named Desire?
730
00:35:17,691 --> 00:35:19,776
What was he, a conductor?
731
00:35:19,860 --> 00:35:22,404
DIRECTOR: All right,
people, we'll pick it up now.
732
00:35:22,488 --> 00:35:27,117
Scene two, act two. Uh, Felicia…
733
00:35:27,201 --> 00:35:29,536
Now, remember, Felicia, at this moment
734
00:35:29,620 --> 00:35:32,455
life and death is waiting
for you out in that hallway.
735
00:35:32,539 --> 00:35:33,790
This is unequivocal.
736
00:35:33,874 --> 00:35:36,542
It is life or it is death.
737
00:35:36,626 --> 00:35:38,127
When Rocky comes through that door…
738
00:35:38,211 --> 00:35:43,549
[IN BRANDO-LIKE DRAWL] Uh… Charlie…
739
00:35:43,633 --> 00:35:47,094
Uh… question.
740
00:35:47,178 --> 00:35:48,637
Question, Rocky?
741
00:35:48,721 --> 00:35:50,514
Yeah, I mean, what is my, uh,
742
00:35:50,598 --> 00:35:52,433
tertiary motivation here?
743
00:35:52,517 --> 00:35:56,228
I mean, like, I walk
through the door and, uh…
744
00:35:56,312 --> 00:35:57,980
I see her.
745
00:35:58,064 --> 00:35:59,773
Why?
746
00:35:59,857 --> 00:36:02,026
Why what, Rocky? What's the question?
747
00:36:02,110 --> 00:36:03,443
Exactly.
748
00:36:03,527 --> 00:36:05,111
What is the question?
749
00:36:05,195 --> 00:36:07,655
I mean, any slob can walk through a door.
750
00:36:07,739 --> 00:36:09,532
Like, I do it every day.
751
00:36:09,616 --> 00:36:11,534
But, well, now
752
00:36:11,618 --> 00:36:13,661
maybe I shouldn't walk through the door
753
00:36:13,745 --> 00:36:15,246
at that moment.
754
00:36:15,330 --> 00:36:17,457
So I got to ask myself:
755
00:36:17,541 --> 00:36:19,959
Would I walk through that door?
756
00:36:20,043 --> 00:36:24,631
It's on the basis of that
answer that I find my motivation.
757
00:36:24,715 --> 00:36:28,427
So the question is what's my motivation?
758
00:36:31,805 --> 00:36:33,221
Well, Rocky, baby,
759
00:36:33,305 --> 00:36:34,806
why don't we just run through it
760
00:36:34,890 --> 00:36:36,558
and see how it plays, shall we do that?
761
00:36:36,642 --> 00:36:38,185
Let's take our places now.
762
00:36:38,269 --> 00:36:39,728
Scene two of act two.
763
00:36:39,812 --> 00:36:41,021
Right from the top.
764
00:36:41,105 --> 00:36:44,149
[ACTOR MOOING]
765
00:36:44,233 --> 00:36:47,903
[SNORTING]
766
00:36:47,987 --> 00:36:50,947
[MOOS]
767
00:36:51,031 --> 00:36:55,702
All right, let's go.
768
00:36:55,786 --> 00:36:57,871
I don't care what you say.
769
00:36:57,955 --> 00:36:59,873
If Jeremy comes here tonight
770
00:36:59,957 --> 00:37:01,917
I have to go away with him.
771
00:37:02,001 --> 00:37:03,376
Oh, come, Olivia.
772
00:37:03,460 --> 00:37:05,127
Cast out those benighted colors
773
00:37:05,211 --> 00:37:09,090
and… and gaze as a friend
on Greenwich Village.
774
00:37:09,174 --> 00:37:11,384
Let not forever with your veiled eyes
775
00:37:11,468 --> 00:37:14,220
seek your noble boyfriend in the dust.
776
00:37:14,304 --> 00:37:15,763
It is common, I know.
777
00:37:15,847 --> 00:37:18,849
But all that live must die.
778
00:37:18,933 --> 00:37:21,352
It's easy for you to say.
779
00:37:21,436 --> 00:37:23,062
Quite easy.
780
00:37:23,146 --> 00:37:26,857
But outside there, outside this room,
781
00:37:26,941 --> 00:37:28,984
outside this building
782
00:37:29,068 --> 00:37:33,029
is the harbinger of the worst of fates.
783
00:37:33,113 --> 00:37:35,031
Is it Jeremy?
784
00:37:35,115 --> 00:37:37,534
Or is it his killer?
785
00:37:37,618 --> 00:37:41,162
Am I to be a correspondent of love…
786
00:37:41,246 --> 00:37:43,581
Or a recipient of hate?
787
00:37:43,665 --> 00:37:45,500
This is the question.
788
00:37:45,584 --> 00:37:47,001
Who awaits me out there?
789
00:37:47,085 --> 00:37:48,837
I ask you that.
790
00:37:48,921 --> 00:37:50,005
Who awaits me?
791
00:38:06,896 --> 00:38:08,731
I'm looking for Mr. Moomer.
792
00:38:08,815 --> 00:38:11,567
Moomer?
793
00:38:11,651 --> 00:38:13,610
Julius Moomer.
794
00:38:13,694 --> 00:38:15,821
Oh, yeah, the writer.
795
00:38:15,905 --> 00:38:17,614
He's sitting over there
with a bunch of guys.
796
00:38:17,698 --> 00:38:20,868
Thank you so much.
797
00:38:20,952 --> 00:38:23,454
And your role?
798
00:38:23,538 --> 00:38:25,789
My role is, uh… Jeremy.
799
00:38:25,873 --> 00:38:26,915
What's yours?
800
00:38:26,999 --> 00:38:28,584
Jeremy.
801
00:38:28,668 --> 00:38:30,252
But Jeremy is a lad of 19,
802
00:38:30,336 --> 00:38:31,711
fresh as a bridegroom.
803
00:38:31,795 --> 00:38:33,713
And his chin, new-reaped
804
00:38:33,797 --> 00:38:36,257
showed like a stubble
land at harvest home.
805
00:38:36,341 --> 00:38:39,093
Yeah, well, we changed all that.
806
00:38:39,177 --> 00:38:44,015
A guy that feels love
ain't no 19 years old.
807
00:38:44,099 --> 00:38:45,600
The guy who plays Jeremy
808
00:38:45,684 --> 00:38:47,393
has got to know what it's all about.
809
00:38:47,477 --> 00:38:50,772
A mature guy, uh… who knows the score.
810
00:38:50,856 --> 00:38:53,983
A guy with some 'zazz, with some moxie.
811
00:38:54,067 --> 00:38:57,028
A guy who understands,
uh, tertiary motivation.
812
00:38:57,112 --> 00:38:58,905
DIRECTOR: Let's go, team, shall we?
813
00:38:58,989 --> 00:39:00,322
May we continue, please?
814
00:39:00,406 --> 00:39:01,490
Get ready for your cue, Rocky.
815
00:39:01,574 --> 00:39:03,366
Rhodes is my name.
816
00:39:03,450 --> 00:39:05,285
Rocky Rhodes.
817
00:39:05,369 --> 00:39:08,955
You probably saw me
in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.
818
00:39:09,039 --> 00:39:12,292
Cat on a Hot Tin Roof?
819
00:39:12,376 --> 00:39:14,711
And what, perchance, would that be?
820
00:39:14,795 --> 00:39:16,922
It would be a play, Charlie.
821
00:39:17,006 --> 00:39:19,049
A real play.
822
00:39:19,133 --> 00:39:20,884
What are you, a Tennessee knocker?
823
00:39:20,968 --> 00:39:22,969
Come on, Rocky, let's go!
824
00:39:23,053 --> 00:39:27,057
It's getting so they let any
uncultured uncouth ham in here.
825
00:39:30,101 --> 00:39:32,561
ACTRESS: Go ahead, Seymour.
826
00:39:32,645 --> 00:39:34,563
Speak the speech, I pray you
827
00:39:34,647 --> 00:39:37,942
as I pronounced it to you
trippingly on the tongue.
828
00:39:38,026 --> 00:39:40,152
ACTOR: Shall I say it again, Esmeralda?
829
00:39:40,236 --> 00:39:42,363
How's it look to you, Mr. Shannon?
830
00:39:42,447 --> 00:39:44,323
Only great, isn't it?
831
00:39:44,407 --> 00:39:46,075
The play?
832
00:39:46,159 --> 00:39:48,202
Who knows about plays?
833
00:39:48,286 --> 00:39:51,664
What about the commercial,
where does that come in?
834
00:39:51,748 --> 00:39:54,583
R… Right after the opening
teaser, Mr. Shannon.
835
00:39:54,667 --> 00:39:56,418
Are they lighting the soup?
836
00:39:56,502 --> 00:39:58,546
That comes in the first
commercial, Mr. Shannon.
837
00:39:58,630 --> 00:40:00,171
I know when it comes in.
838
00:40:00,255 --> 00:40:02,590
I want to make sure they light the label!
839
00:40:02,674 --> 00:40:04,467
When the soup is Shannon's
840
00:40:04,551 --> 00:40:07,101
I want 40 million people
should know it's Shannon's.
841
00:40:15,562 --> 00:40:17,188
Well, what is it?
842
00:40:17,272 --> 00:40:18,648
What's he dressed up for?
843
00:40:18,732 --> 00:40:21,693
U… Uh, that?
844
00:40:21,777 --> 00:40:26,698
Th… That's my typist.
845
00:40:26,782 --> 00:40:28,740
One of your staff, Moomer, is he?
846
00:40:28,824 --> 00:40:31,743
Well, actually, he's a relative.
847
00:40:31,827 --> 00:40:33,871
Cousin on my mother's side.
848
00:40:33,955 --> 00:40:35,998
He's a little eccentric.
849
00:40:36,082 --> 00:40:37,791
Eccentric?
850
00:40:37,875 --> 00:40:40,335
Well, he has, like, you know, delusions.
851
00:40:40,419 --> 00:40:42,254
One week they come, one week they go.
852
00:40:42,338 --> 00:40:44,089
What about this week?
853
00:40:44,173 --> 00:40:47,676
Um, well, this week, he, uh…
854
00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:53,265
He thinks he's William Shakespeare.
855
00:40:53,349 --> 00:40:54,641
Come on over, Will,
856
00:40:54,725 --> 00:40:56,643
I want you to meet the boys.
857
00:40:56,727 --> 00:40:58,853
Been telling them all about you.
858
00:41:05,735 --> 00:41:07,278
Most impressive.
859
00:41:07,362 --> 00:41:08,738
Would that we had
860
00:41:08,822 --> 00:41:10,615
this kind of space at the Globe.
861
00:41:10,699 --> 00:41:11,824
The Globe?
862
00:41:11,908 --> 00:41:13,618
Uh, uh, why don't you
863
00:41:13,702 --> 00:41:15,453
sit down, Will, here?
864
00:41:15,537 --> 00:41:17,038
Have this seat here.
865
00:41:17,122 --> 00:41:19,373
We're, uh, just going over
866
00:41:19,457 --> 00:41:20,458
the second act.
867
00:41:20,542 --> 00:41:21,834
Act two.
868
00:41:21,918 --> 00:41:23,294
Ah, yes, the balcony scene.
869
00:41:23,378 --> 00:41:25,087
A most delightful love sequence.
870
00:41:25,171 --> 00:41:26,797
Love sequence, and on a balcony, yet.
871
00:41:26,881 --> 00:41:28,757
I was gonna mention this to you, Will,
872
00:41:28,841 --> 00:41:31,217
but Mr. Shannon asked
us to make a little change
873
00:41:31,301 --> 00:41:32,552
in the love story part.
874
00:41:32,636 --> 00:41:34,179
Oh?
875
00:41:34,263 --> 00:41:36,640
You know, the business on the balcony?
876
00:41:36,724 --> 00:41:38,350
A thing of beauty.
877
00:41:38,434 --> 00:41:40,393
"Oh, spirit of love
878
00:41:40,477 --> 00:41:43,355
how quick and fresh art thou."
879
00:41:43,439 --> 00:41:45,482
A red-blooded American boy and girl
880
00:41:45,566 --> 00:41:47,817
going gigging around on balconies!
881
00:41:47,901 --> 00:41:49,819
Who owns balconies these days?
882
00:41:49,903 --> 00:41:51,821
Extremely valid point, Mr. Shannon.
883
00:41:51,905 --> 00:41:53,281
No question about it.
884
00:41:53,365 --> 00:41:56,284
You mean, no balcony?
885
00:41:56,368 --> 00:41:59,787
Mm, uh, no balcony.
886
00:41:59,871 --> 00:42:01,580
You see, Will, this here is television,
887
00:42:01,664 --> 00:42:03,415
and you gotta grab the audience
888
00:42:03,499 --> 00:42:05,376
right where they live,
and you gotta do it quick.
889
00:42:05,460 --> 00:42:07,419
That's why we're
making this little alteration
890
00:42:07,503 --> 00:42:09,296
on the balcony thing.
891
00:42:09,380 --> 00:42:11,006
Instead of the boy
climbing up the shrubbery
892
00:42:11,090 --> 00:42:13,008
to kiss the girl, he, uh… uh, uh…
893
00:42:13,092 --> 00:42:15,427
Meets her in a subway station.
894
00:42:15,511 --> 00:42:16,804
A subway station?!
895
00:42:16,888 --> 00:42:18,597
That's a bit. That's a bit.
896
00:42:18,681 --> 00:42:20,391
See, she sprains her
ankle, and this boy here,
897
00:42:20,475 --> 00:42:22,226
he's kind of a Dr. Kildare,
Dr. Casey type,
898
00:42:22,310 --> 00:42:24,228
and he operates on her ankle right there
899
00:42:24,312 --> 00:42:26,604
between the Brighton
express and the Bronx local.
900
00:42:26,688 --> 00:42:29,482
You, uh, you see, Will,
901
00:42:29,566 --> 00:42:33,987
doctor stories are very big this season.
902
00:42:34,071 --> 00:42:36,531
All right, cast, we'll
take a short break now.
903
00:42:36,615 --> 00:42:39,515
DIRECTOR: I want you to
run over that last scene for lines.
904
00:42:47,667 --> 00:42:48,960
Mr. Moomer, Mr. Moomer,
905
00:42:49,044 --> 00:42:50,962
something has to be done.
906
00:42:51,046 --> 00:42:52,380
Troubles, Will?
907
00:42:52,464 --> 00:42:55,174
Troubles? Is that Esmeralda?
908
00:42:55,258 --> 00:42:57,676
Yeah. Yeah, that's the chick.
909
00:42:57,760 --> 00:42:59,761
Well, if what you told me is the case,
910
00:42:59,845 --> 00:43:01,471
what reason for her suicide?
911
00:43:01,555 --> 00:43:03,390
What is to motivate her long soliloquy
912
00:43:03,474 --> 00:43:04,766
about love's labor lost?
913
00:43:04,850 --> 00:43:06,018
Suicide?
914
00:43:06,102 --> 00:43:07,853
What's with this suicide?
915
00:43:07,937 --> 00:43:09,813
Oh, no suicide, Mr. Shannon.
916
00:43:09,897 --> 00:43:11,606
That's definitely out.
917
00:43:11,690 --> 00:43:13,900
I was gonna mention that to you, Will.
918
00:43:13,984 --> 00:43:16,403
You see, we can't live with the suicide.
919
00:43:16,487 --> 00:43:18,613
She don't stick herself with a shiv.
920
00:43:18,697 --> 00:43:21,199
Instead she runs away
with this bass fiddler
921
00:43:21,283 --> 00:43:23,201
from Artie Shaw's Gramercy Five.
922
00:43:23,285 --> 00:43:25,202
That was my wife's suggestion.
923
00:43:25,286 --> 00:43:27,079
An inspired one, at that.
924
00:43:27,163 --> 00:43:29,790
And the brother and father
who burst into the scene?
925
00:43:29,874 --> 00:43:32,293
My wife didn't like that.
926
00:43:32,377 --> 00:43:34,128
She didn't like the idea of
927
00:43:34,212 --> 00:43:35,921
the father and the brother, Will,
928
00:43:36,005 --> 00:43:37,715
so the way we play it now
929
00:43:37,799 --> 00:43:40,176
the two guys coming into
the room are policemen.
930
00:43:45,598 --> 00:43:46,682
Policemen?
931
00:43:46,766 --> 00:43:49,351
Cops, cops.
932
00:43:49,435 --> 00:43:50,936
And in the scene later on,
933
00:43:51,020 --> 00:43:52,313
where the mother does all the talking
934
00:43:52,397 --> 00:43:54,065
about the blood on our hands,
935
00:43:54,149 --> 00:43:56,983
well, she's not the
mother no more, exactly.
936
00:43:57,067 --> 00:43:58,693
She's the gardener's wife
937
00:43:58,777 --> 00:44:00,528
who did time for embezzlement.
938
00:44:00,612 --> 00:44:03,490
But she has the most
definitive line of the play.
939
00:44:03,574 --> 00:44:06,076
In the epilogue I took
it from Twelfth Night:
940
00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:09,120
"If music be the food of love, play on.
941
00:44:09,204 --> 00:44:11,581
"Give me excess of it, that surfeiting"
942
00:44:11,665 --> 00:44:15,085
the appetite may sicken and so die."
943
00:44:15,169 --> 00:44:17,420
Oh, fine, fine, fine.
944
00:44:17,504 --> 00:44:18,838
Appetite sickening.
945
00:44:18,922 --> 00:44:20,423
This is just fine.
946
00:44:20,507 --> 00:44:21,800
The Shannon Food Company
947
00:44:21,884 --> 00:44:23,301
is paying this kind of money
948
00:44:23,385 --> 00:44:25,427
to make people sick?
949
00:44:25,511 --> 00:44:29,723
Uh, Will, you'd better get with it.
950
00:44:29,807 --> 00:44:32,267
You're taking the butter
right off the toast, baby.
951
00:44:32,351 --> 00:44:34,103
All right, here we go.
952
00:44:34,187 --> 00:44:37,940
Let's hear the narration
aloud please, for timing.
953
00:44:38,024 --> 00:44:40,275
On October 30, the gardener's wife
954
00:44:40,359 --> 00:44:42,277
returned to the crime scene.
955
00:44:42,361 --> 00:44:44,279
The police had already arrived,
956
00:44:44,363 --> 00:44:45,948
and, once again, the FBI…
957
00:44:46,032 --> 00:44:47,658
Enough of that idiocy…
958
00:44:47,742 --> 00:44:49,451
There's no soliloquy here!
959
00:44:49,535 --> 00:44:50,828
What's going on here?
960
00:44:50,912 --> 00:44:52,454
Who is that guy?
961
00:44:52,538 --> 00:44:53,830
I'll tell you what he ain't.
962
00:44:53,914 --> 00:44:55,665
He ain't no student of drama.
963
00:44:55,749 --> 00:45:01,045
He runs around all the
time knocking Tennessee.
964
00:45:01,129 --> 00:45:04,674
Now, just as a point
of interest… gleep,
965
00:45:04,758 --> 00:45:08,886
what do you got against Stanislavsky?
966
00:45:08,970 --> 00:45:10,346
What have I got against
967
00:45:10,430 --> 00:45:13,808
this personage Stanislavsky?
968
00:45:13,892 --> 00:45:14,893
You.
969
00:45:21,399 --> 00:45:23,942
"Blow, blow, thou winter wind
970
00:45:24,026 --> 00:45:27,696
thou are not so unkind
as man's ingratitude."
971
00:45:27,780 --> 00:45:31,116
That's from As You Like It,
act two, scene seven.
972
00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:33,535
Hey, Will. Will, Will.
973
00:45:33,619 --> 00:45:35,787
Hey, wait a minute, Will, wait a minute.
974
00:45:35,871 --> 00:45:37,205
What are you doing?
975
00:45:37,289 --> 00:45:38,790
You'll louse up the whole deal!
976
00:45:38,874 --> 00:45:40,167
What am I going to tell them?
977
00:45:40,251 --> 00:45:41,835
Tell them simply
978
00:45:41,919 --> 00:45:43,670
that "Foolery, sir, does
walk about the orb
979
00:45:43,754 --> 00:45:44,880
"like the sun."
980
00:45:44,964 --> 00:45:46,506
It shines everywhere."
981
00:45:46,590 --> 00:45:48,758
Act three, scene one, Twelfth Night.
982
00:45:48,842 --> 00:45:52,178
And you, Julius Moomer, foolish mortal
983
00:45:52,262 --> 00:45:55,431
who could have covered
himself with a cloak of immortality.
984
00:45:55,515 --> 00:45:57,683
To you, Julius Moomer who has succumbed
985
00:45:57,767 --> 00:46:00,644
to the rankest compound
of villainous smell
986
00:46:00,728 --> 00:46:02,479
that ever offended nostril…
987
00:46:02,563 --> 00:46:05,357
To you, Julius Moomer…
988
00:46:05,441 --> 00:46:07,777
[IMITATES AMERICAN ACCENT] Lots of luck.
989
00:46:21,999 --> 00:46:23,791
Hey, Julius, for a whole week now,
990
00:46:23,875 --> 00:46:25,501
you look like somebody told you
991
00:46:25,585 --> 00:46:28,379
to go out and scrub a lizard.
992
00:46:28,463 --> 00:46:30,632
He finked out.
993
00:46:30,716 --> 00:46:32,926
The guy finked out.
994
00:46:33,010 --> 00:46:36,638
You want a couple words of advice?
995
00:46:36,722 --> 00:46:38,681
Knock off the conjuring.
996
00:46:38,765 --> 00:46:45,063
Get yourself a nice clean
safe job on a streetcar.
997
00:46:45,147 --> 00:46:47,106
"Whether 'tis nobler in the mind
998
00:46:47,190 --> 00:46:50,526
"to suffer the slings and
arrows of outrageous fortune,"
999
00:46:50,610 --> 00:46:55,906
or to take arms against
a sea of troubles."
1000
00:46:55,990 --> 00:46:58,033
Yeah?
1001
00:46:58,117 --> 00:47:01,578
Did that guy have talent or didn't he?
1002
00:47:01,662 --> 00:47:05,249
Man! I was on my way.
1003
00:47:05,333 --> 00:47:07,042
They already talked
about my next assignment.
1004
00:47:07,126 --> 00:47:09,586
A two and a half hour spectacular
on American history.
1005
00:47:09,670 --> 00:47:12,381
What do you know about American history?
1006
00:47:12,465 --> 00:47:14,466
I know this much:
1007
00:47:14,550 --> 00:47:19,180
A writer named Julius Moomer
died of malnutrition in 1963.
1008
00:47:57,257 --> 00:47:58,842
Za-za-zoom.
1009
00:47:58,926 --> 00:48:02,512
Ala-kazam.
1010
00:48:02,596 --> 00:48:03,722
Va-va-voom.
1011
00:48:03,806 --> 00:48:04,889
Ma, hey, Ma!
1012
00:48:04,973 --> 00:48:08,476
He's doing it again!
1013
00:48:08,560 --> 00:48:10,020
Who knows what it means?
1014
00:48:10,104 --> 00:48:11,604
But he's honorable, if nothing else.
1015
00:48:11,688 --> 00:48:12,772
This you've got to give him.
1016
00:48:12,856 --> 00:48:14,983
The what?
1017
00:48:15,067 --> 00:48:17,694
The American history thing?
1018
00:48:17,778 --> 00:48:19,862
Well, frankly, Mr. Bramhoff,
1019
00:48:19,946 --> 00:48:21,947
I haven't been able to reach him.
1020
00:48:22,031 --> 00:48:25,492
The fact is that I haven't…
1021
00:48:25,576 --> 00:48:28,454
Mr. Hugo, he's outside.
1022
00:48:28,538 --> 00:48:29,538
Who is?
1023
00:48:29,622 --> 00:48:30,956
Julius.
1024
00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:32,624
He's got some people with him.
1025
00:48:32,708 --> 00:48:35,336
Mr. Bramhoff? He's here.
1026
00:48:35,420 --> 00:48:36,879
He's come back to us.
1027
00:48:36,963 --> 00:48:38,797
The boy is coming back into our fold.
1028
00:48:38,881 --> 00:48:42,509
I told you you could count
on Moomer, I just knew it.
1029
00:48:42,593 --> 00:48:45,471
Yes, I'll get back, I'll get
back to you, in a minute.
1030
00:48:46,931 --> 00:48:48,390
Mr. Hugo!
1031
00:48:48,474 --> 00:48:50,183
Julius, my boy, where have you been?
1032
00:48:50,267 --> 00:48:52,018
The whole week you
wouldn't answer the phone.
1033
00:48:52,102 --> 00:48:53,895
The networks are screaming for you.
1034
00:48:53,979 --> 00:48:55,563
The agencies are screaming for you.
1035
00:48:55,647 --> 00:48:57,148
The clients are screaming for you.
1036
00:48:57,232 --> 00:48:59,025
They want that American history thing.
1037
00:48:59,109 --> 00:49:00,443
I got it.
1038
00:49:00,527 --> 00:49:02,779
An absolutely fantastic notion.
1039
00:49:02,863 --> 00:49:04,405
I'm right in the middle of it now.
1040
00:49:04,489 --> 00:49:06,199
Me and my staff have been working on it.
1041
00:49:06,283 --> 00:49:08,117
Not that kook in the knee britches?
1042
00:49:08,201 --> 00:49:10,161
Ah, he cut out. Forget about him.
1043
00:49:10,245 --> 00:49:12,955
Now this show's about
American history, right?
1044
00:49:13,039 --> 00:49:15,375
And you want it documented-like, right?
1045
00:49:15,459 --> 00:49:17,251
And you want it real authentic.
1046
00:49:17,335 --> 00:49:19,961
Authentic above all, yes.
1047
00:49:20,045 --> 00:49:21,505
I'd like you to meet my staff.
1048
00:49:21,589 --> 00:49:23,339
Send those gentlemen in, would you.
1049
00:49:27,636 --> 00:49:34,226
General Robert E. Lee.
1050
00:49:34,310 --> 00:49:37,521
General Ulysses S. Grant.
1051
00:49:37,605 --> 00:49:41,316
George Washington.
1052
00:49:41,400 --> 00:49:46,905
Abraham Lincoln.
1053
00:49:46,989 --> 00:49:49,908
Pocahontas.
1054
00:49:51,117 --> 00:49:54,829
Daniel Boone.
1055
00:49:54,913 --> 00:49:58,833
Theodore Roosevelt.
1056
00:49:58,917 --> 00:50:04,839
Benjamin Franklin.
1057
00:50:04,923 --> 00:50:06,882
NARRATOR: Mr. Julius Moomer.
1058
00:50:06,966 --> 00:50:10,219
A streetcar conductor
with delusions of authorship.
1059
00:50:10,303 --> 00:50:14,056
And if the tale just
told seems a little tall,
1060
00:50:14,140 --> 00:50:16,975
remember a thing called poetic license
1061
00:50:17,059 --> 00:50:19,186
and another thing
called the Twilight Zone.
75946
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