All language subtitles for La Moustache (2005)

What if I shaved my moustache off?

What?

What would you say
if I shaved my moustache off?

No idea. I like you with it.

I don't know you without it.

How can you stand such a hot bath?

We have to get going soon.

I said we'd be there at 8:30.

That way, we won't be back late.

I'm going to the supermarket
to get stuff for breakfast.

- Can you put the CD back to the start?
- Yes.

"LA MOUSTACHE"

Still in that bath?

No, I'm dressing.

Why didn't you let me in?

I couldn't find my key.

My shoelace broke.

- Found some others?
- Other what?

Shoelaces.

No, I switched shoes.

Marc.

Can you bring me a towel, please?

Listen, Marc...

I'm not against the idea,
but we're running so late.

Isn't it too sexy
for my goddaughter's birthday?

They like my tarty look.

Do you? You haven't said.

Yes, I like it.

Shit, I wanted that space.

- We'll never find a space.
- Yes, we will.

Believe me, we won't.

- What's so funny?
- You.

I usually hate angry drivers,
but I adore you.

You know what?

Go on up while I park the car.

Why? I'll stay with you.
I don't mind.

Go ahead, I'll catch up.

You're sure?

I forgot Lara's present.

- Know the door code?
- Yes.

Hi.

Come on in.

No more kisses.

After 15 years of kissing guys,
I've had enough.

What's up?

- Hi, Marc.
- Good evening.

Hello, Lara.

Aren't you saying hello?
Don't you recognize him?

I do. He's Marc.

Bravo.

Why "bravo"?

I don't know.

I wanted to say "bravo," so I said "bravo".

Ah merde...

I like it... your hair.

Thanks.

- Serge warned me.
- Warned you?

He told me about your hair.
But I'd have noticed anyway.

Got nothing against garlic?

Off to bed, sweetheart.
Brush your teeth.

That's not what happened.

It is.

Not at all.

You're so two-faced, Agn�s.
You can't help it.

Remember the radiators?

Where did Marc go?

What radiators?

Well, what radiators?

The radiators...

One day, about 10 years ago,

Agn�s and I spent a weekend with some
people we knew vaguely, in Burgundy.

Three couples, walks in the forest,
errands in the village, an open fire.

A nightmare.

It was winter.

On arriving, they explained over and over

that they couldn't heat all the rooms
unless the radiators were on low.

If not, the fuses would blow.

That night, this young lady ignored orders
and put the heating in our room on high.

The fuses blew.

We changed the fuses.

We had a lecture from our host...

- Christian, right?
- I don't remember.

Anyway, on the second night,
we were playing Scrabble by the fire.

Agn�s went up to bed before us.

The fuses didn't blow.

Everyone thought she'd gotten the message.

But when we went up too,

we were horrified to find
that it was minus 5 in every room,

while ours was like a sauna.

Everything was crystal clear.

She'd turned the other radiators off
to put ours on full.

Okay, this far, you could say
she was just being cheeky.

But the best part
was when we asked her for an explanation.

She denied everything emphatically.

We kept asking her.

We proved it had to be her,
and she never confessed.

And that's what I admire, because you won't
even admit on your deathbed

you turned those radiators off.

Because I didn't turn them off.

Who turned them off, then?

I don't know, but it wasn't me.

Nadia!

Nadia!

Serge doesn't seem happy.

He has to make a mockery
of everything all the time.

Pathetic, isn't it?

Did Nadia talk to you?

Stop.

Stop what?

The dinner post-mortem:

Serge's mental state, his despair.
I don't give a shit.

Find another subject, then.
What do you want to talk about?

Stop it, will you?

What's the matter?

Did I say something that upset you?

We can talk. We talk, don't we?

I want you to stop.

The joke's gone on long enough.

I'm sick of it now, so stop.

Stop the car.

Pull over.

Explain.

Don't say you haven't noticed.

Noticed what?

Tell me.

- Is it that hard to say?
- No, it isn't.

I just shouldn't have to say it.

My moustache.

Can't you feel something missing?

What?

I've shaved my moustache off.

I don't understand.

Are you asleep?

No.

What are you thinking about?

Your moustache, of course.

You know, in the car earlier,
I thought...

if you carried on, I'd get really scared.

I got scared.

You carried on.

Please stop it. It scares me.

So don't start again.

You're the one starting again.
Stop it!

Agn�s.

It doesn't matter.

Look at me.

I've shaved it off, but I can grow it back.

Why are you doing this?

You know you've never had a moustache!

If it had gone, Serge and Nadia
would have noticed.

You went up first.

You realize what you're saying?

Give me the phone.

Nadia, it's Agn�s.

Sorry to wake you, but I have a question.

I'm sleeping.

Was Marc different tonight?

No.

Had his moustache gone?

What do you mean?

Suppose I'd asked you to deny
he'd had a moustache when he'd had one.

I don't follow you.

Never mind.
I just want you to answer one question.

- Has Marc ever had a moustache?
- No.

You sound like you're having fun,
but we're trying to get some sleep here.

You warned them.

Listen, I have a long day tomorrow.

I'm taking a sleeping pill.

Agn�s?

I'm sleeping!

Morning.

Hi.

Okay?

This gives you the geometric axis.

Right!

I'll try again.

I'll go out and come back in.

Look at me this time.

Okay? In shape?

- A quick coffee?
- No, a coffee.

Not a quick coffee. A coffee.

Incredible.

- Sorry?
- Nothing.

- What are you doing?
- Obviously, having a coffee.

You said you'd be back then...

Then I had a coffee.

Fine. I'll have one, too.

You're odd this morning.

Did you have a fight?

Haven't you noticed?

Sure. I've noticed you're odd.

Let's get to work.

The advantage is we're dealing
with neophytes and experts.

The message changes,
but not the words and visuals.

I like that idea.

Of course. Whatever you want.

No, Monday isn't possible.

We're on a tight deadline.

- You're a jerk.
- You notice that?

Of course I notice.

How long has it been?

Three years since you both quit.

All that effort. It's totally dumb.

Want to come and eat?

Got the photos for your badge?

No, I forgot. Tomorrow.

Go for it.

That's good!

Go on, pass!

Pass to the center!

- Score!
- Okay?

Fine, but we're losing.

I got sushi if you want.

I just had some.

These are delicious.

They'll score again before the end.

There's some wasabi there.

There. It's over. A disaster.

I'm disappointed.

Really disappointed.

Men who hate football are so boring.

You've been smoking?

Yes, I've been smoking.

That's pathetic.

Look!

What's that smell?

Look at this!
What is this, huh?

Marc!

- You're mad.
- What is it?

You're mad.

Don't touch me!

I'm not lying to you, Marc.

I've never lied to you.

I know.

That's the worst part.

You really believe you had a moustache?

Should I see a psychiatrist?

We don't know any psychiatrists.

I think we need to get help, yes.

You weren't going to say good-bye?

I didn't want to wake you.

Are you working all weekend?

Not tomorrow, I hope.

You know...

Remember St�phanie in La Rochelle?

She had hallucinations.
Fran�ois was panicked.

Then she saw someone,
and the whole thing blew over.

I don't think he even put her on medication.

Shall I call Fran�ois?

Yes, call him.

It's like freaking out when you're high.

Just remember, it ends at some point.

It has to end.

Excuse me.

- Can I ask you something?
- Of course.

Look.

Do you see a difference here?

Yes, the moustache.

It's important for me.

You're sure I have a moustache here?

Yes, I'm sure, absolutely positive.

- You are?
- Yes.

Thank you.

Yes, I remember them.
They're old friends of Serge.

How are they?

I'll see them tomorrow anyway.

By the way, Armelle mentioned a guy.

Is he a priest or not?

You're back?

It's Marc. I didn't expect him
until this evening.

Take care.

Nadia, I'm seeing you tomorrow.

Good-bye.

The agency was too much for you?

You didn't feel good?

I wanted to be with you.

Come here.

Do you want to talk?

I'd like to talk, but this is a bad time.

We'll hurt each other.

I called the guy who helped St�phanie.

He can take us on,
but not for another 10 days.

I have another address that might be good.

That one can see us on Monday.

What do you think?

- You think 10 days is too long?
- Yes.

- Don't you?
- Yes, I do.

It's cold.

What shall we do?

Do you want to go out?

Right now? No, I don't, really.

We can't stay cooped up in here.

We could go swimming.

Since you weren't here,
I hadn't planned anything.

You prefer that?

Know what? We'll meet halfway.

We'll go and buy you a jacket.

Which one?

- Try this one on, just to see.
- All right.

Don't I look like a clown in this?

No. I think it suits you.

I'll treat you.

Chiffonnade of trepanned baby mullet.
It's so pretentious.

- It's a new chef.
- Really?

It's all different.
That thing with the coulis has gone.

Do you want to leave?

Do you want to?

No, I'm kidding.

Would you like an aperitif?

Yes. Champagne.

Two.

I'll leave you to choose.

You have cigarettes?

- Marlboro, Marlboro Light?
- Light.

No, not Light.

What's the matter?

Let's not pretend we're not stressed out.

We'll quit again later.
It's not a priority now.

We did everything right today.

We bought you a jacket.

You hate it, I don't.
You'll never wear it.

That's what couples do.

It's not good?

Yes, it's good.

Actually, no. It tastes odd.

Or maybe it's me.

I feel as if I was...

color-blind or...

dyslexic, I don't know.

Dessert?

No. I'm afraid the meringues
might end up tasting of beans.

Agn�s, I'm here.

I'll always be here, whatever happens.

I don't want us to lose each other.

I don't want that, either.

Please, no music tonight.

Marc, it's Bruno.

We're slaving away here without you.

It'd be good to hear from you.

Bye.

It's Dad.

Apparently, you're not in.

I could try the mobile,
but I don't like those things.

It's nothing urgent, just a reminder
we expect you both for lunch tomorrow.

Take care, and see you then.

All messages have been erased.

You put the photos away?

What photos?

The photos of Bali.

Of Bali?

The photos of Bali that were on the table.

Marc and Agn�s aren't in right now.

Please leave a message.

It's Bruno. Are you there?

I've tried your mobile.

Please call me, we have to talk.

Why don't you call him back?

I asked you if you put the photos away.

I'd rather talk about that
after Monday's appointment.

That's not what I'm saying.

I asked if you put the Bali photos away.

Marc and Agn�s aren't in right now.

Please leave a message.

It's Bruno. Marc...

If you're there, answer.
This is absurd.

What's going on?

Just a second.

Bruno, this has to stop right now.

You did this crazy thing
to keep Agn�s happy.

I can live with that, but she's in a bad way.

What's wrong?

Couldn't you see the problem she has,
inventing such a crazy idea?

That she's in danger?

What are you talking about?

- She called you two days ago.
- To say what?

To ignore my moustache.

I don't understand.

Did you notice I'd shaved it off?

No. Hold on.

Agn�s says you had a moustache?

No, that I didn't.

Exactly. You haven't had one once
in the last 15 years.

What is all this?

- She's coming...
- Put her on.

Who was that?

Nobody.

What's wrong?

Did you just call?

Yes, you could call it a problem.

I realize that.

Shall I put him back on?

He'll call you back.

That's kind, Bruno.

You're very kind. See you soon.

So it's me?

It's 12:15.

Are we going to your parents',
or would you rather not?

I'd rather not.

Okay, I'll call them.

Catherine, it's Agn�s.

I'm really sorry to call you so late,
but Marc just called.

They're rushed off their feet.

He'll have to be at the agency all day.

Yes, as usual.

He said he'd call you this afternoon.

I'm really sorry.

Take care.

While you're at it,
cancel Serge and Nadia, too.

Cancel who?

Serge and Nadia.

Serge and Nadia Scheffer.

Your ex and his Russian wife.

Dinner tonight?

Dinner last Thursday
with your goddaughter?

You don't know them?

And Bruno?
Do you know Bruno?

He called earlier.

Yes, of course.

And you just called my parents
to cancel lunch?

Your mother, yes.

Okay, you spoke to my mother,
but we were having lunch at my parents'?

Your father's dead, Marc.

Your father died last year.

You said "your parents,"
not "your mother."

I heard you, I swear I did.

I think I'll go and lie down
for a while.

Agn�s, you're not going to vanish?

Not you.

You're sure he's asleep?

With what I gave him,
he'll be out for hours.

What time are they coming?

They didn't say.
They'll be here soon.

Even with that dose, he may not go quietly.

They're used to it, you know.
They bring what they need.

Will they use a straitjacket?
I couldn't bear that.

The straitjacket is purely chemical
these days.

They'll give him a shot.

He'll rest.

Bruno, I'm scared.

Having regrets?

No.

It's too late to stop things now.

We had no choice.

Are you okay?

Boulevard Emile Augier.

What number?

I'll tell you when to stop.

The boulevard ends here.

We've passed it, then.
Can you go back?

I can't see.

I don't believe it. I was born here.

You can't remember the number?

No, I can't remember it!
Can you turn that off?

You have just dialed
an invalid number.

You have just dialed
an invalid number.

France T�l�com, Corinne speaking.

I'd like the number of Mr. And Mrs. Thiriez,
Boulevard Emile Augier.

That's Thiriez with a "Z".

In Paris?

Yes, Paris 16.

Certainly, sir.

Sorry, I'm afraid that number's unlisted.

I know, but it's my parents'.

Sorry, I can't.

This is an emergency.

I must speak to my mother now.

You don't know her number?

Of course I do!

Sir, I can't.
I have other calls waiting.

Wait! I need to know
if my father is alive or dead!

- I understand, but...
- You don't understand.

If he's alive, but my wife says he's dead,
then something serious is going on...

Good-bye, sir.

Where to now?

Drive.

It's me. I'm at La Muette.

Can you come and get me?

La Muette? At your mother's?

Yes, I'm at my mother's.

Hurry, I'm waiting.

Can you wait a second?

Shit!

Terminal 1 or 2?

Sir!

Terminal 1 or 2?

2.

Too late for Hong Kong?

For your luggage it is.

No luggage.

I'll be home when this card gets there.

This is the view from my window.

I'd like your eyes to see it.

Without your eyes,
I see nothing.

You didn't buy it in the end?

What?

That engraving.

No.

He wouldn't lower his price?

That's right.

Good. I don't know
where we'd have put it.

I can't stand packing.

You don't care, do you?

You just don't care.
You don't care at all.

Are you going to keep this?

It's okay on holiday,
but back in Paris I'm not so sure.

What do you two want to do tonight?

Shall we eat together
or meet at the casino?

Can you hear me?

I don't know.
Whatever you want.

What's this clown's jacket?

Don't tell me you got this here!

You've got foam everywhere.

Okay? Want to go back?

Please.

I'll have to let them know.

You'll come back?

Of course.

I'll come with you.

It's not like them to go.

We leave tomorrow.
We may not see them again.

We were looking for you lovebirds.

Us, too. We were leaving.

One last drink together.

Just one, then.

- Can I see?
- Here you go.

- Aren't we cute?
- Got any others of us?

This was on the junk.

- How about that drink?
- Let's go.

They're getting on your nerves tonight.

No, I like them.

We don't have to see them back in Paris.

Agn�s.

Say nothing.

I've nearly finished.

I almost thought you'd
shave your moustache off earlier.

I'd like to see you without it one day.

I'll wear that tomorrow.

I'll put the tea set in your case.

What are you doing?

Coming to bed?

Just a second.

You've done it.

It's nice.

Lights out?

Yes.