All language subtitles for Eureka S4 E10

Evening, sheriff.
Cold enough for you?

Yeah. Exactly how
the holidays should be.

Hey, guys. Happy holidays.

What's up?

Yeah. Whatever.

What's up with them? Yeah, they're
cranky because we're snowbound.

Their vacation plans
are pretty much ruined.

Um, why don't you make
a round of hot chocolate?

Keep them coming. You got it.

Hey, guys. So, stuck in
Eureka for the holidays, huh?

I used to try to escape
Eureka at Christmas

until one year when
I got stranded here.

Yeah. It was crazy.

Okay, gather 'round.

You can hear all
about it. Do we have to?

Sheriff's badge says yes.

There you go. Enjoy.

Oh, boy.

It was deep in December
and, like every year,

Zoe and I were heading out
of town to spend the holiday

with family, which was great

because it was one of the hottest
Christmas weeks Eureka had ever seen.

What's going on?

You can't leave, sheriff.

No one in or out.

The electromagnetic shield
over Eureka's malfunctioning.

Doesn't look like anything's...

Right now, it's more electro
than magnetic. It's getting worse.

You better shut that thing down.

And leave global dynamics vulnerable to
the prying eyes of the rest of the world?

Sorry, sheriff, no can do.

So, we're trapped here
for Christmas?

It's 85 degrees.

Dad, they're trying to fix it.
Just let them.

All right, well,
don't overexert yourselves.

We'll make the best of it.

Merry Christmas!

Zoe: Wait, so you make
elf footprints?

Yeah, you dip little sponges
shaped like shoes in baby powder

and then you press them on
the floor around the presents.

You know what? I'm boiling.

You can't let a little heat
ruin your holiday.

Today I have strung up Cranberries,
we have baked gingerbread.

All right,
feast your eyes, people.

Limited edition, copper
cast from my secret Santa.

Oh, and he left this for you.

For me? Wow, how cool.

You know who it is? No.
That's why he's a secret.

Open it.

Come on.

Oh, wow, the clash on vinyl.

I love them. I wonder who knew.

Not you. Well, come on...

No, I couldn't have.

Allison: No, wasn't me.

Well, this is my
little gift to all of you.

You say little.

Is that meatloaf?
It's fruit cake.

Oh. Um, yeah, I'm still
digesting a piece from last year.

No, no, no, trust me. This is
like a little Christmas miracle.

Eat it. Eat it.
Vincent: Come on.

Oh. Holy cow!

Oh!

That... even the raisins
are incredible.

I blended 96
different varieties.

Everything from alexandroulis
to zilvaca.

How do you get them
all in one piece?

That, my friend, is the secret.

Carter: Mmm.

What's going on?

It's a code 12.

Air assault. We have a bogey.

All right, everybody, down!
Down! Take cover.

All right, stay inside!

All right, everyone, can I have your
attention? Can you get inside, please?

This is not a drill. Possible
air strike headed for town!

Everyone, get off the
streets now. Thank you.

Get into position.

Carter: Sir, thank
you, inside. Keep it going.

Everybody inside.
Inside. Thank you.

Jo: Ready?
Clear! Clear the road!

Jo: Steady. What's up, Jo?

First someone messed with our
e.M. Shield, now we're under attack.

From what?

G.d. Radar detected an unauthorized
vehicle in our airspace over town.

Bogey's crossed the threshold.

Weapons hot! Take aim!

Oh, hey, hang on!
That's not a plane!

Hold your fire! Hold your fire!

Ho! Ho! Ho! Crap!

Boy 1: Santa's sleigh?
Seriously?

You don't believe me?
Girl: Where do I start?

One, reindeer can't fly.

Well, stranger things
have happened in Eureka.

Yeah? And who was driving
this tactical assault sleigh?

I'm getting to that. So...

It's not every day we get to
track down a runaway Santa.

So Jo and I,
we jump at the chance.

I want nothing to do with this.

Oh, like I do.
Hey, the town's your turf.

Which your trigger happy
Santa SWAT team invaded.

Sorry, Carter... holiday
party starts soon at g.D.

And I'm on crowd control.

Shouldn't you guys be
chasing down kringle?

No, what I should be doing is drinking winter
ale with your uncles, watching ball games.

And by watching
he means arguing.

Yes. Is there some place
else I can be useful? Please.

Oh, I'm sure Allison could
use some help at g.D.

A few people got banged up
avoiding Santa. I'll take you.

Perfect. See you, dad. Oh.

Give Santa my best.

Chase down a fake stupid Santa.

It's like 900 degrees.

I'm never going to get home...

Fargo: To the left. Yes, chief.

No the other left. Relax,
Fargo, it's just a party.

No, it's the party.
The time where

g.d. Family comes
together in the spirit of giving.

More candles.
It's time all you geeks

fly your freak flags every year.

No, that's comic con. Look...

I've got a tight budget and a
building full of people to feed.

If we run low on latkes,
believe me, things will get ugly.

I will charge my taser.

Oh, security breach
in sub lab 22.

I can't wait for this
day to be over.

Hold it right there. What
do you think you're doing?

Hey, Jo. Just taking
my experiment home.

And you are?

Noah drummer.
Condensed matter physicist.

Well, I'm sorry, doctor drummer,

there's no authorization for you
to take your little ornament home.

Actually,
it's crystallized hydrogen.

Can't leave it here unattended
during the holidays. Too unstable.

So you're shoving it
into a sack?

Well, it's lined with non—ionizing
fiber and red tungsten.

If my ornament's not handled
carefully, bad things could happen.

Yes, it's very menacing.
What is it for, anyway?

Just a little thing called
peace on earth.

It's an energy source.

Once fully formed, it'll provide
limitless power, very cheaply.

One less reason for war.

Well, that is a very
lovely concept.

But nothing's going to happen
to it here, not on my watch.

Not that I doubt your abilities, but
I'd really prefer to keep it with me.

Yeah, I'm sorry, doc.
The crystal stays here.

All right.

How's that? Feels okay.

Mostly I'm starving.

That's weird. Me too.
You know what?

It must be Vincent's amazing hors
d'oeuvres we're smelling from the party.

You're all set. Thanks.

Merry Christmas,
doctor Blake, Zoe.

Allison: You're all set, honey.

Hey, you okay?

Yeah.

It's just always the
same thing every year.

Dad can't wait to go home and it's always
so much better in theory than in reality.

I'm just actually really
glad that we're stuck here.

Me too. You know, we never
get to spend the holidays together.

The more, the merrier.

You really get into it, huh?

I just think we could all use a little
more magic in our lives, you know?

Hey look, secret Santa
struck again.

What... when did that get here?

Zoe: Open it.

Bunny slippers.

I used to have a pair of these
when I was a kid. This is perfect.

I got to find out
who this guy is.

Kringle can run,
but he can't hide.

Oh, no.

Can I help you?
Mr. Claus, I presume.

Mr. Claus?

Season's greetings, mate.

Taggart, do you have
any idea what you've done?

You've damaged our
e.M. Shield, our e.M. Shield!

I did not. I was held up in
me lab running field tests.

Tests for what?
For science, mate.

I'm pioneering the field
of santology.

That's not a science.
It will be.

Nearly every culture
has a myth about the man.

Santa claus, pere Noel,
kris kringle, Saint Nick.

I'm replicating everything he does and
explaining it with physics and technology.

What about flying reindeer?

Holographic.
They're misbehaving currently.

This little beauty runs
on a pulse detonation engine.

All weather resistant.

Uses state of the art
stealth technology

To fly
invisibly under the radar.

Taggan,

your giant red sled
is neither stealthy

nor invisible.

Well, I've still got
a few kinks to work out.

Now, be a Santa's little helper
and give us a tow back to g.D.

Sure. Cheers, mate.

Friends, colleagues,

I started planning this party
months ago,

determined to provide an unforgettable,
yet fiscally responsible celebration.

Today, we gather together...

Oh, save it, Fargo,
we're starving.

Crowd: Yeah!

Fine. And without further ado...

Okay, people, you've got two hours and
58 minutes until I shut this place down.

Eat, drink, be merry.

Taggart: It was late
on Christmas Eve.

I was just a wee lad,
no more than seven

When I heard
something, and crept downstairs.

That's when I saw him.
Just a glimpse.

A quick flash of red
by the tree.

Taggart, it was probably
your father in red pajamas.

One might think.

But I found this
by the fireplace.

Lint?
A tear from Santa's trousers.

I've tested the fibers,
they're fire resistant.

Again, not Santa. Red pajamas.

Also been working on a gadget
for easy chimney descension.

And fancy this.

I made it just for you.

You went all out. Imagine all the
presents Santa has to fit in his sack.

But by putting m—theory

and the concept of 11th
dimensionality into practice...

Yeah, wait, ho, ho, ho.
Wait, Santa's a physicist now?

Oh, he's very clever.

He temporarily shifts matter
through the dimensional membrane.

That way, objects can lose
mass but maintain integrity.

Oh, oh, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Don't you want to
open your present?

Set her there, mate.
Come on. Come on.

Holy smokes.

A can of "Christmas cheer"?

Go on. Pop the top.

They're programmed
to your voice.

And they're yours for the day
every time you say, "Christmas."

Thanks, Taggart, for making
this a very creepy Christmas.

Santology? Yeah. I think
he's going for a degree.

Something about
a minor in tooth fairy.

Well, myth and folklore
come from somewhere, Carter.

Some ancient cultures believed
that wrapping moldy bread on a wound

would make it heal faster.

Yeah, that's why
ancient cultures died out.

No, they didn't know that mold was
penicillin and it fought off infection.

Yeah, but we're talking about
Santa claus, not antibiotics.

As scientists, we have to explore all
possibilities, to be open to the "what if."

Right there, great.

Oh, hey, Lupo, you want to tell
me what you want for Christmas?

This one's for naughty.
This one's for nice.

I1lpass.

Oh, come on. Where's
your Christmas spirit?

Seriously, you okay?

I have a town full of yahoos
that I have to babysit. I am super.

Taggart's Santa.

You just wrecked Christmas
with two words.

Hmm. Why is it so hot in here?

I don't know. The ac.
Is cranked up to 11.

Oh, just, hey, hang on a
minute. Let me just grab a couple.

I just hope I made enough.
This crowd is ravenous.

Mmm.

Great. More crystal labissues.

Do I want to know?

It's this tiny little
glowy thing.

I caught this strange scientist
trying to take it home earlier.

Well, this is g.D. Be specific.

Um, his name's drummer.

Never heard of him.

Doctor drummer?

I thought you said
little glowy thing.

It used to be.

This is unbelievable.
Under normal conditions,

it would take decades to crystallize
hydrogen into a sample this size.

Key word, normal.

Is it me
or is it already bigger?

Henry, what's going on?
I don't know,

but if it keeps growing at this rate,
it'll breach the lab in 20 minutes.

We need to move it
to a larger containment unit.

Doctor drummer said
that it was unstable.

Uh... wait,
it's going to explode?

Well, yeah, if it... if it moves
beyond the protective shielding,

it could fracture and... boom.

Merry Christmas.

How do I turn this off?
Hang on, they're pretty good.

Henry. All right, all right,
find doctor drummer.

I'll supervise the transfer,

and maybe he can tell
us why this is expanding.

Man, that guy must be roasting.

Tell me about it.
I had to ice my hot toddies.

Hey, Zane.

Are you crying?

What? No. No.

I just got two tickets to see
Springsteen at the meadowlands.

Let me guess, secret Santa.

You too? The perfect
gift. Man, this guy's good.

No one's even heard of drummer.
We've been all through g.D.

There are no personnel
files for him.

Well... that's impossible.

There's no way that he could have
access to the lab, let alone get into g.D.

We've got to find him.
His experiment's growing.

Well, there has to be a way to
track him down. The d.O.D. Has files.

The glitch in the em.
Shield crashed our server.

We're cut off
from the outside world.

I'll find him. If he goes to
leave, he's going to hit a wall.

Wasn't me. I thought
Zane was my secret Santa.

Why would you think that? Only
someone who could hack my computer

would know I've been searching
the Internet for years looking for this.

Steve Austin.
Better. Stronger. Faster.

Seriously?

It's authentic. Original
hinges, not a chip on it.

You have no idea how rare.

Okay, well, it wasn't Zane.

Well, then someone was thinking
of me, and I'm going to find him.

So you can thank him?

So I can suspend him. No one
hacks Fargo and gets away with it.

Not even Santa.

Okay.

Hello, Fargo.

Hi, Steve Austin.

Wow.

Allison: The crystal is safe
in our largest containment lab.

But I'd say it's still growing.

Henry: What we need to do
now is calculate the expansion rate.

Allison: Right.
So we can figure out

how much time we have
before it outgrows this lab.

This image represents the density of
electrons within the crystal 10 minutes ago.

Anything unusual?

No, but we'll know more once I do
another diffraction scan as a comparison.

I don't care if we're on a wild goose
chase looking for this missing scientist.

At least it's time away
from that party.

You're not feeling
the merry, huh?

All the boozing and
schmoozing, lights and glitter.

It's Vegas, not Christmas.

Well, if it makes you feel
any better, I wish I was home.

It's beautiful, Carter,
I'm all misty.

You know what, Jo,
you got a heart of stone.

Bah, humbug. That's me.

Carter: Wow.

They look the same. Yeah, the
intermolecular spacing is identical.

Allison: Henry, what if...

So the crystal
hasn't changed. No.

Yeah? Carter: Henry,
we're at the edge of town,

and something else
has gotten way big.

Well, no, it hasn't
gotten bigger.

We've gotten smaller.

Dun dun duh!

So, what? The whole
town was shrinking?

Oh, I'm telling it
how it happened.

Girl: Even though
it's totally bogus.

All right, I'll let you guys go
back to playing your video games.

I won't waste
anymore of your time.

Well, wait, I mean, you may as
well just finish the rest of the story.

Boy 2: Please, sheriff Carter.

All right.

So, after we left the sign,

we went back to global dynamics.

We and everything contained in
the em. Shield are getting smaller.

Why isn't the crystal shrinking?

Vveh, because
it's one of the strongest

bravais lattice atomic
structures in the universe.

It's almost impossible
to alter or compress.

But we get to shrink into
microscopic dots of nothingness.

And as everything in Eureka
gets smaller,

the energy required
to compress radiates heat.

Is that why it's like
a billion degrees in here?

Yes. And why
we've been so hungry.

Our metabolism's
working overtime.

So what now?

Maybe someone outside of Eureka

will see how small we are
and try to help us.

Oh, like a big—hearted elephant?

The roads closed, and nothing
is getting through that e.M. Shield.

It's a pretty bleak Christmas.

You must stop!

What's causing the shrinkage?

Yeah, I don't want to die a miniature,
though adorable, version of myself.

Carter: A miniature... taggan.

Let's go!

Taggan?

Taggan?

Ha! It works.

Get me down.

Of course, the man himself
packs a lot more paunch.

Hineed to widen the net.

You can't trap Santa claus.

I'm ahab. He's
my white bearded whale.

F.y.i., that didn't turn out
very well for either one of them.

Now, the present you gave me,
the m—tracking, shifting...

Oh, good things come
in small packages.

No, it's a big mess.
The whole town is shrinking.

You're joking. Does this
look like my joking face?

My device can't be responsible.

Well, are you kidding me? Look where
you live, a device is always responsible.

The molecular transfer field
is very precise.

Atoms shift from our dimension
in space—time to another.

Leaving us with this.

See? Tip top.
It's not my device.

That can't be good.

The transfer field's expanded
beyond the target area.

Expanded by how much?

Oh, roughly, um,

the whole town.

Eureka's getting smaller
by the minute.

It looks like the only thing
containing the miniaturization effect

is the em. Shield.

And the em. Shield is a
big sparking mess right now.

I don't understand.

Unless it tried to miniaturize an item so
dense it overtaxed the containment unit.

But I was very careful to
avoid unusually dense material.

Unusually dense, like this?

Fruit cake? I beg your pardon?

You used Taggart's shrinking
machine, didn't you?

I'm sure I don't
know what you're talking about.

Oh, really?

Hi. Those little pieces
aren't pieces at all, are they?

They're entire freaking cakes. Do you
know how many calories I've ingested?

I just...

I just wanted to make a fruit cake
that wouldn't be the object of ridicule.

I mean, they get
such a bad rap, sheriff!

How'd you get in there?

The molecular gastronomy
department across the hall.

I consult from time to time.

Mmm. Keep talking.

Well, I re—shrunk each cake
about a half a dozen times.

It's the only way to maximize the
fruity, nutty goodness that is fruit cake.

Why are you looking at
me like that? No reason.

I'm so sorry, sheriff.

You'd think a Santa lab
would be a safe place.

Yeah, you'd think.

What's wrong now?

What isn't?

Oh, wow.

Hey, Jo, some stuff just
blew into town. Um, big stuff.

Keep everybody inside, okay?

Uh, hey everybody,
can I have your attention?

I need you stay inside
off the streets, please.

Everybody, can you
get off the streets?

You okay? All right.

So I understand
we're all shrinking.

Doctor drummer,
where have you been?

Enjoying the party. You
missed out. There was fruit cake.

I'm aware. Thanks.

Candy cane?

No, thank you. Look, there's a serious
situation with your peace on earth crystal.

The containment lab
is closing in on it.

I told you it had
to be protected.

You were right, and
now you have to fix it.

I know. Okay.

When did you stop liking
candy canes? Do you remember?

When I had to grow up.

I know the holidays can be
tough on military families.

Can we go now?

Sure. After you, Josephina.

If you can't shrink
your crystal, doctor drummer,

it's gonna blow our
little bits into little bits.

Have faith, doctor Taggart.

Once we boost the power,

your device should be
very effective.

But even if we shrink the crystal,
we still have to un—shrink us.

You'll figure out a way, Henry.

You always do.

Have we met before?

We've crossed paths a few times.

Hey, how much juice
are you giving this?

A megawatt. Better double it.

Focused energy is the key.

You know, your crystal's
electron density is very unusual.

I mean, even
for crystallized hydrogen.

Mmm—hmm.

It has an extra element
that makes it unique.

Doctor drummer, there
shouldn't be secrets in science.

Oh, it shouldn't always
be about science.

Some things are better
left unexplained.

Sweetheart, just go ahead
and eat what you want.

Yeah, listen, I made pudding,
cake, four kinds of pies and...

Yeah Jenna's... Jenna's
favorite is the apple.

I know. I know, baby. I'll be
there as soon as I can. I'm sorry.

I love you too.

Okay, bye.

So, the three wise men
are on it.

We might actually put
an end to this horrible day.

Okay, Carter, we all know that
you're miserable being stuck here,

but you don't have to
ruin it for the rest of us.

No, no, no, no,
that's not what I meant.

Oh, sorry.

I just like Christmas.

I know you do.
I mean, you go all out.

You're making four
different kinds of pies.

You know, it's because
I've never had what you have.

What I have?

I love how yourfamily
gets together to celebrate.

I grew up with a more
practical version of the holiday.

Practical doesn't sound fun.

My parents,
they're wonderful, but...

Well, they're scientists, so
they put their faith in hard facts.

So yeah, I got presents,
but they weren't from Santa

because my parents told
me that he wasn't real and...

My gifts, they were never wrapped
because, well, that's a waste of paper.

So, I know that it sounds silly but I
want my kids to have what I missed.

I want the magic.

So I do too much.

I think you do it right.

Thanks.

This procedure is very risky. We have to
shrink the crystal without making it explode.

Or we could have a front row
seat for a new inflationary epoch.

Hmm... a few moments
after the big bang,

the universe undennent
an extremely rapid expansion.

Well, isn't expansion
what we're trying to do to us?

That's right. We need
to make it explode,

that way we reverse
the dimensional shunting...

Make us big again.

But we can't blow it up here.

The energy release
will be massive.

But, no, no, no, no.
If we shrink the crystal,

and then detonate it at the
highest point of the em. Shield,

it'll be like throwing up
a live grenade.

First we need to see
if she gets any smaller.

Fingers crossed.

Make a Christmas
wish, mini mates.

All right, let's get
this puppy airborne!

Before the puppy explodes.

That's going to be a problem.

Heat plus shrinking equals not
so healthy for our helicopters.

The rotors are
completely warped.

Of course. Now we have
no way to transport it.

Well, there is one way, mate.

But I'll need a little helper.

I'll fire her up.

I'm not wearing a pointy hat.

Fa, la, la, la, la.

Contact.

Create seatbelts?
Claus doesn't use 'em.

Claus isn't flying.

I've logged 300 hours of flight
time from Anchorage to Sydney.

Taggart: Just
an air pocket, mate.

Okay, all clear.

Okay.

Taggart!

We have to go higher.

Hang tight!

Here we go!
Peak of the em. Shield!

Okay. Grab the crystal.

Automated voice:
Autopilot engaged.

Carter: On my Mark!

Steady now.
We only get one shot.

No pressure then. And...

Pull!

Ripper shot, mate!

Get it down! Fine, fine.

But let's do it in style.

Taggart: Yahoo!

Cleanup would be so much
easier if only we'd gotten bigger

but the trash stayed small. Hmm.

I say leave it till tomorrow.
It's been a rough day.

All my planning, what a fiasco.

Are you kidding, Fargo?

This was the best
holiday party ever.

Not that I got
to enjoy it, but...

Thanks, Jo.

Now go. Everyone's at cafe diem.

You're not coming?

In a minute.

Zoe: Hello, Jo.

Or should I say, secret Santa?

What are you talking about?

You know what kind
of music I like.

And Allison's stories
about Christmas as a kid.

And you've probably seen Fargo search
the web a million times for his lunchbox.

Go away.

But one thing
that just didn't fit

was that you hate Christmas.

But you don't, do you?

When I was a kid,
my favorite thing to do

was to give something
special to my brothers

and just watch them light up
when they opened their gifts.

Okay, so...

So now,

they're all in the
service, in harm's way.

We haven't spent
Christmas together in years.

Well, I'm glad that at least
we get to spend it together.

Yeah, me too.

So, what did you get for my dad?

He was tough,
but I think I nailed it.

Really?

All right!

Yeah! Hey!

How was your flight?

Bumpy. Yeah, so, Henry,
are we bigger?

Back to normal.

Ah, not quite.

Part of your crystal
still seems to be up there.

Would you look at that.

It's snowing.

The rapid expansion must have
cooled the moisture in our atmosphere.

Henry, Henry, it's snowing.

It's snowing.

Hi, we haven't met. I'm...

Jack Carter. Yeah.

Holiday to remember, huh?

Even by Eureka's standards.

You were supposed to be
with your family.

Yeah. Yeah, I was.

I'm glad it all
worked out for you then.

Taggart: Cagey bugger.

Beg your pardon?
Oh, I'm onto you now.

Let's you and me
have a sit down.

I've got a lot of questions.

I'm afraid you're going to have to keep
them, because I've got an errand to run.

You can't leave.
I finally found ya.

I'm not quite sure what you
mean, but don't worry, I'll be back.

Same time next year.

Huh.

Boy 1: Sheriff Carter...

Please tell me that you're not suggesting
that this drummer dude is Santa.

I'm just sharing the story.

You guys can believe
what you want.

Was any of that true?

All of it, but here's
the absolute truth.

Spending the holidays with
friends and family in Eureka,

that's the best gift of all.

Wow, man, way too sappy.

Seriously. I got a cavity.

Yeah, but it's a pretty
decent story, dude. Thanks.

Thanks, sheriff.
Boy 2: Thank you.

Henry: We live in a community
where every day we are presented with

unique challenges.

But today, let's
remember and rejoice

at how wonderful
it is to be alive,

and how lucky
we are to be together.

Here, here.

All: Cheers.

What is that?

I don't know.
You better open it.

Zoe: What do you think?

It's perfect.

You know, we could probably
make it home if you still want to go.

We are home.

Merry Christmas, dad.
Merry Christmas.