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1
00:00:06,423 --> 00:00:09,968
♪ ("HONESTY" BY BILLY JOEL
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS) ♪
2
00:00:10,051 --> 00:00:11,678
SOUND TECH: That looks good.
3
00:00:13,888 --> 00:00:16,683
(SINGING)
♪ If you search for tenderness ♪
4
00:00:16,766 --> 00:00:19,811
♪ Its isn't hard to find ♪
5
00:00:19,894 --> 00:00:23,440
♪ You can have the love
You need to live ♪
6
00:00:26,484 --> 00:00:28,820
♪ But if you look
For truthfulness ♪
7
00:00:28,903 --> 00:00:32,323
♪ You might just as well
Be blind ♪
8
00:00:32,407 --> 00:00:39,122
♪ It always seems to be
So hard to give ♪
9
00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:45,712
♪ Honesty is such
A lonely word ♪
10
00:00:45,795 --> 00:00:50,508
♪ Everyone is so untrue ♪
11
00:00:52,802 --> 00:00:54,179
Yeah, I think we're good.
That's good.
12
00:00:55,472 --> 00:00:57,682
♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪
13
00:00:57,766 --> 00:00:59,017
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
14
00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:01,853
- Yeah?
- Yeah. I mean, yeah.
15
00:01:01,936 --> 00:01:03,813
Pretty good, man.
16
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:05,315
That means funny, right?
17
00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:06,733
I think good.
18
00:01:08,026 --> 00:01:09,569
And then you're gonna do the--
19
00:01:09,652 --> 00:01:11,613
- Your whole, like, thing?
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
20
00:01:11,696 --> 00:01:14,449
I mean fuck it, right?
Just fucking go nut-nut.
21
00:01:14,532 --> 00:01:16,701
Pure excess, full bore,
yeah?
22
00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:20,163
Yeah.
23
00:01:20,246 --> 00:01:24,209
- What? No?
- No-- Yeah, I th-- I think.
24
00:01:24,292 --> 00:01:27,170
No, it's like I've gone
anti-fragile.
25
00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:29,005
I can--
I can accommodate anything.
26
00:01:29,088 --> 00:01:31,174
If I start second guessing,
it collapses.
27
00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:35,678
Right. I think that is right.
28
00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:39,265
This is the full fucking thing.
It's gonna be epic.
29
00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:42,560
(THROUGH MICROPHONE)
This is the full fucking thing!
30
00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:48,858
♪ ("SUCCESSION"
THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
31
00:03:06,185 --> 00:03:09,898
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
32
00:03:15,987 --> 00:03:16,988
(SIGHS)
33
00:03:23,494 --> 00:03:25,413
We're good, right?
All makes sense?
34
00:03:25,496 --> 00:03:29,751
Mm. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah,
this is great work, Rome.
35
00:03:29,834 --> 00:03:31,920
Well, obviously,
the main thing is the...
36
00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:34,130
organizational cultural thing.
37
00:03:34,213 --> 00:03:35,465
Mm. Mm-hmm.
38
00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:38,301
I think, you know, everyone
agrees that GoJo makes sense.
39
00:03:38,384 --> 00:03:39,928
No one needs persuading of that.
40
00:03:40,011 --> 00:03:42,639
Ah, well, kind of regret
staying up all night
41
00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:44,182
with my assholes then.
42
00:03:44,265 --> 00:03:47,852
No. It's just about,
you know, us here who get it,
43
00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:51,022
oiling the wheels
and making sure
there's no friction.
44
00:03:51,105 --> 00:03:52,732
Well, of course.
I mean, I would say
45
00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:54,859
we can handle the human stuff
without too much issue.
46
00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:55,944
That needn't concern us.
47
00:03:56,027 --> 00:03:58,321
That actually comes naturally
to some of us.
48
00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:00,657
Which is why I focused
49
00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:03,284
on integration benefits
and deal detail.
50
00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:05,536
Great. Yeah.
I'm just saying, big picture.
51
00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:08,122
Well, big picture is made
from small details, so...
52
00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:09,791
- TOM WAMBSGANS:
Guys, guys, honestly.
- Business lesson.
53
00:04:09,874 --> 00:04:11,793
It's just nerves.
You've done really great work.
54
00:04:11,876 --> 00:04:14,379
Let's go and help your dad
make the deal.
55
00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:16,172
Yeah. All right.
56
00:04:16,255 --> 00:04:19,092
- Nice rally call, Braveheart.
- I try, I try.
57
00:04:19,175 --> 00:04:21,010
- And you're going tonight?
- Ken Fest?
58
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,679
- Yeah.
- I wouldn't think so.
59
00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:25,390
Uh, if Matsson does,
maybe for follow up?
60
00:04:25,473 --> 00:04:29,227
Gonna be pretty horrific.
Your brother in a porta-potty
rolling down a hill.
61
00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:31,771
-(CHUCKLES)
- I might have to go
just to see how bad it is.
62
00:04:31,854 --> 00:04:33,314
Aww, brudders.
63
00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:35,316
Fuck you.
It's pure rubbernecking.
64
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,360
Okay. What's this?
65
00:04:37,443 --> 00:04:39,904
SHIV ROY: Uh,
maybe Mattson's here early?
66
00:04:39,988 --> 00:04:41,489
Or she's gonna give birth
67
00:04:41,572 --> 00:04:43,700
to Dad's baby while we chant
a Satanic mass.
68
00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:46,160
It's like he's having
a midlife crisis, aged 80.
69
00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:48,746
- It's fine.
- No, it's not, Rome.
70
00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:50,832
He's fucking an assistant
who's 50 years younger than him.
71
00:04:50,915 --> 00:04:52,333
It's not a crisis.
That's normal.
72
00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:53,835
It's the opposite of a crisis.
73
00:04:53,918 --> 00:04:55,795
We should all be
so fucking lucky.
74
00:04:55,878 --> 00:04:57,296
- Hiya.
- KARL MULLER: (LAUGHING)
That's so funny.
75
00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:59,048
Oh. Okay. Champagne?
76
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:02,802
Uh, did you do it already?
Did you land GoJo already
without us, Dad?
77
00:05:02,885 --> 00:05:04,095
We're not celebrating.
78
00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:06,889
Long road ahead.
79
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:10,351
Lovely long open road.
Wind in our hair.
80
00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:11,853
Wind in your hair?
81
00:05:11,936 --> 00:05:13,896
We've had a vibration.
82
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,857
I've been speaking
to a contact
83
00:05:15,940 --> 00:05:18,151
- with connections at DOJ.
- Laurie?
84
00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:20,028
Well, we have
a number of friends.
85
00:05:20,111 --> 00:05:22,405
And the word is,
on the down-low,
86
00:05:22,488 --> 00:05:24,532
that they've seen
everything now.
87
00:05:24,615 --> 00:05:25,867
They've reviewed,
88
00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:27,869
and they're happy
with how we're engaging,
89
00:05:27,952 --> 00:05:31,622
and they're coming to the view
that Kendall overpromised.
90
00:05:31,706 --> 00:05:34,542
And perhaps some men
were terribly naughty
back in the day,
91
00:05:34,625 --> 00:05:36,753
but nothing systemic,
nothing sanctioned.
92
00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:38,129
It's going to be a number.
93
00:05:40,798 --> 00:05:43,342
- Just a number?
- Nothing custodial.
94
00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:45,762
- For anyone.
- Uh, no prison?
95
00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:47,930
Nuh-uh. Nope, we don't think so.
96
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:50,183
- LOGAN ROY: Here's to us!
- ALL: To us!
97
00:05:50,266 --> 00:05:53,394
And... to justice!
98
00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:55,938
ALL: To justice. Yeah.
99
00:05:56,647 --> 00:05:59,067
(EXHALES) I'll remember.
100
00:05:59,817 --> 00:06:01,652
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
101
00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:05,990
Well, congratulations, Dad.
You've done it again.
102
00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:07,492
It's great. (CHUCKLES)
103
00:06:07,575 --> 00:06:09,869
Let's just hope
you don't do it again, right?
104
00:06:09,952 --> 00:06:12,538
(CHUCKLES) No. Lessons learned.
105
00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:17,251
(GULPS) And here's to Tom!
106
00:06:17,335 --> 00:06:19,754
Uh, long road ahead.
No premature celebrations.
107
00:06:19,837 --> 00:06:22,256
Mm-hmm, absolutely.
Amen to that!
108
00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:23,633
Top me up, why don't ya?
109
00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:25,676
Take me home, country roads!
110
00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:27,303
Just gonna run
to the little boy's room.
111
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:30,640
Okay. Okay. Enough, enough.
No more mooning.
112
00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:35,103
No more backslapping.
GoJo! GoJo! GoJo!
113
00:06:35,186 --> 00:06:40,108
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
114
00:06:43,861 --> 00:06:45,321
(INDISTINCT MUTTERING)
115
00:06:46,614 --> 00:06:49,992
-(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
- Hello. Oh-oh-oh-oh.
116
00:06:50,409 --> 00:06:51,452
Hello.
117
00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:00,711
(EXHALES)
118
00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:04,048
Hey, scooch over
a little bit, buddy.
119
00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:05,174
Mm-hmm.
120
00:07:08,427 --> 00:07:11,097
(CLICKS TONGUE)
Thank you, Greg.
121
00:07:12,473 --> 00:07:14,392
Yes!
122
00:07:15,017 --> 00:07:19,355
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
123
00:07:19,438 --> 00:07:21,649
- Yes! Yes! Yes!
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.
124
00:07:22,358 --> 00:07:24,443
(SCREAMS)
125
00:07:25,736 --> 00:07:27,071
Yeah, fuck yeah!
126
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:29,532
- What? What? (PANTS)
-(TOM YELLS)
127
00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:33,703
What is going on?
Wh-- Are you okay?
128
00:07:36,747 --> 00:07:39,625
Apologies, Greg, I may have
gotten a little carried away.
129
00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:41,794
But I just popped around
to say...
130
00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:44,922
that no one is going to jail.
131
00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:47,633
Gerri spoke to the DOJ...
132
00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:51,679
and the Waystar Two...
(BREATHES SHAKILY) ...are free.
133
00:07:51,762 --> 00:07:54,557
Okay. Is it real?
134
00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:01,814
♪ (TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
135
00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:21,250
It was good news.
136
00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:32,094
(GRUNTS)
137
00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:35,640
(GROANS)
138
00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:37,558
What are we looking at
in terms of, uh,
139
00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:38,976
what are the responses
looking like?
140
00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:42,605
Uh, I think about 80 percent
of your A-list is yeses
141
00:08:42,688 --> 00:08:44,899
and 15 percent are maybes.
142
00:08:44,982 --> 00:08:47,902
Okay. Well, maybes are nos,
let's not live in a dream world.
143
00:08:47,985 --> 00:08:49,820
But, uh, who's in?
144
00:08:49,904 --> 00:08:51,405
Off the top of my head,
it's great.
145
00:08:51,489 --> 00:08:55,534
-Um, Dion, Barry, JP, David...
- KENDALL ROY: Nice.
146
00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:59,538
...Anna, Tom, Tory,
Jeff, Elon, Lukas,
147
00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:03,709
Jennifer and Emma, yeses.
Chloe is still a maybe.
148
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:08,673
And, uh... (CLICKS TONGUE)
...and the sibs?
149
00:09:08,756 --> 00:09:11,759
COMFRY PELLITS: Um, yeah, uh...
150
00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:16,055
Okay. No. Whatever. Fine. Fine.
151
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:19,767
This is fucking cool, Comfry.
Hey, hey, listen,
152
00:09:19,850 --> 00:09:22,812
you have a good time, too, yeah?
Like everyone,
153
00:09:22,895 --> 00:09:26,232
servers, fucking...
the imagineers, the DJ crew,
154
00:09:26,315 --> 00:09:27,942
you know,
this is highly egalitarian,
155
00:09:28,025 --> 00:09:30,903
like, do your job,
but fucking get your drink on
156
00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:32,405
get your buzz on.
157
00:09:32,488 --> 00:09:34,115
There's no boundaries
if you're cool.
158
00:09:34,198 --> 00:09:38,286
Mission Control out!
Shit is about to pop off!
159
00:09:38,369 --> 00:09:39,495
(GUESTS CHEER)
160
00:09:39,578 --> 00:09:41,580
- Party!
-(GUESTS LAUGH)
161
00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:44,709
- It's my birthday! Fuck you!
162
00:09:44,792 --> 00:09:46,335
-(NAOMI PIERCE LAUGHS)
- KENDALL: Whoo!
163
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:49,964
♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
164
00:09:51,549 --> 00:09:52,591
Hey, hey.
165
00:09:58,014 --> 00:10:00,599
(QUIETLY) There might be
a problem with GoJo.
166
00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:03,769
Okay. Where's Matsson?
167
00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:06,856
He's sent Sherpas.
He's not coming.
168
00:10:11,235 --> 00:10:12,236
Okay.
169
00:10:15,573 --> 00:10:19,785
It's off. Tell these kids
to fuck off. Meeting cancelled.
170
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:23,456
(SCOFFS) Okay, well,
what's the downside, Dad?
171
00:10:23,539 --> 00:10:25,666
You know, meet these guys,
could read petulant not to?
172
00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:27,043
If he wants to send a nobody--
173
00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:30,171
Well, his CFO and a whole team
of, uh, people...
174
00:10:30,254 --> 00:10:33,883
He's going to this
fucking party, isn't he? Huh?
175
00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:36,552
Where is he?
Getting his nails done,
176
00:10:36,635 --> 00:10:37,928
asshole whitened?
177
00:10:38,012 --> 00:10:39,930
I think we might
have to court him
178
00:10:40,014 --> 00:10:41,974
- a little, is the thing.
- Ah. Nah, nah, nah, nah.
179
00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:44,310
It's bad fucking juju
to start like this.
180
00:10:44,393 --> 00:10:46,270
Can we not at least talk
181
00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:49,357
- to the nobodies a little...
- No! No. We have other options.
182
00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:50,983
Do we, though?
This could be our last chance
183
00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:52,860
to avoid
the legacy media graveyard.
184
00:10:52,943 --> 00:10:56,530
Frank's reached out
to Nan about Pierce.
185
00:10:56,614 --> 00:11:00,451
What? Seriously?
We're going after Pierce again?
186
00:11:00,534 --> 00:11:01,744
It's exciting.
187
00:11:03,746 --> 00:11:05,539
Okay. That's it.
Everyone back to work.
188
00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:11,253
The deal makes sense.
It's a great deal.
189
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:13,339
but he won't make the deal
because he's an arrogant prick.
190
00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:16,634
Fine. Matsson's an asshole.
Fucking of course he is.
191
00:11:16,717 --> 00:11:19,095
But do we burn
our only parachute
because of that?
192
00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:21,138
LOGAN: It's just
smart business, Shiv.
193
00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:24,392
I don't wanna pay over
the odds. And eventually,
194
00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:26,519
the market will make him
make the deal.
195
00:11:26,602 --> 00:11:28,896
- Unless someone makes
a better offer first.
-(CHUCKLES)
196
00:11:28,979 --> 00:11:32,650
Yeah, Dad, this is it.
We have a scale issue.
197
00:11:32,733 --> 00:11:34,402
Our streaming platform
is for shit.
198
00:11:34,485 --> 00:11:36,487
And-- and we have nothing
that looks like growth.
199
00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:38,114
This gets us consequentially
into streaming,
200
00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:41,492
it gets us into sports betting,
it gets us into social media.
201
00:11:41,575 --> 00:11:42,535
We have a little window.
202
00:11:42,618 --> 00:11:44,412
Miss this, and we end up
being a pilot fish
203
00:11:44,495 --> 00:11:46,497
nibbling leftovers
from Bezos's fucking teeth.
204
00:11:46,580 --> 00:11:50,042
Kerry? What was it, that thing
you said about Matsson?
205
00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:51,419
He thinks he's a genius.
206
00:11:51,502 --> 00:11:53,921
He's made one good piece
of tech. Fuck him.
207
00:11:54,004 --> 00:11:56,549
We appreciate your input, Kerry,
but "fuck him"
208
00:11:56,632 --> 00:11:59,635
- is not good tactics.
- It is good tactics.
209
00:12:00,719 --> 00:12:03,264
Dad, please, if you don't wanna
talk to Matsson,
210
00:12:03,347 --> 00:12:04,473
fine, but let me.
211
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:06,475
Or let me. Or we can both do it.
212
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,269
He's gonna be at the party,
right?
213
00:12:08,352 --> 00:12:09,895
- You're going?
- Mm-hmm.
214
00:12:10,729 --> 00:12:12,064
Can't hurt.
215
00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:15,651
Fine. But don't go in
too strong.
216
00:12:15,734 --> 00:12:19,447
This is a black box
and I don't want to overpay.
217
00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:21,449
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Got it. I'm on it.
218
00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:24,326
Yeah, I-- I'll reorganize
my diary. I got it.
219
00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:27,037
Since you're going...
220
00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:29,790
you might as well give him this
in person.
221
00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:31,625
Oh, yeah. Okay.
222
00:12:31,709 --> 00:12:33,711
What do you think?
Do you think he'll like it?
223
00:12:37,715 --> 00:12:39,758
-♪ (CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING)
224
00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:42,761
(CROWD CHATTERING)
225
00:12:48,976 --> 00:12:51,353
No, I just-- I feel amazing,
you know?
226
00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:53,981
My senses are heightened,
the air smells sweeter.
227
00:12:54,064 --> 00:12:55,983
And, you know,
it's like I can see the poetry
228
00:12:56,066 --> 00:12:57,693
and all little mundane things.
229
00:12:57,776 --> 00:12:59,528
- Mm-hmm.
- It's-- I--
230
00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:01,155
I'm gonna get so fucked up.
231
00:13:01,238 --> 00:13:03,199
- Oh.
-(CHUCKLES) Okay. Is that okay?
232
00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:05,075
Yeah, you don't need
my permission.
233
00:13:05,159 --> 00:13:06,577
Like, how fucked up?
234
00:13:06,660 --> 00:13:08,662
- Hi, there.
- Hi, there.
235
00:13:08,746 --> 00:13:10,331
-(CHUCKLES)
- Tom Wambsgans!
236
00:13:10,414 --> 00:13:12,625
- Not going to prison.
- Wow.
237
00:13:12,708 --> 00:13:14,418
- Hi.
- We're asking everyone
238
00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:16,003
to hand in their coats
and phones.
239
00:13:16,086 --> 00:13:18,714
Kendall would like his present
to be everyone being present.
240
00:13:18,797 --> 00:13:20,216
Yeah. Fuck off.
I'm not doing that.
241
00:13:20,299 --> 00:13:22,009
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, you're gonna
have to tase us.
242
00:13:22,092 --> 00:13:24,220
- And your coat? (CHUCKLES)
- Uh, nuh-uh,
243
00:13:24,303 --> 00:13:26,972
I will remain coated,
thank you, as is my right.
244
00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:28,098
(CLICKS TONGUE)
245
00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:30,559
So come on. What?
What happened?
246
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,269
Ranch stuff.
247
00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:34,146
What, a horse didn't want
you to fuck it? What?
248
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:36,690
- He had a fall.
-(CHUCKLES)
Don't say, "had a fall,"
249
00:13:36,774 --> 00:13:38,651
that sounds like I'm 89. No!
250
00:13:38,734 --> 00:13:42,571
Maxim and I actually got
some polling results,
251
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:43,864
we shared a Cognac,
252
00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:45,824
and then I slipped
doing a little Irish jig.
253
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:47,326
ROMAN ROY: Oh.
Okay, ranch stuff.
254
00:13:47,409 --> 00:13:48,744
- CONNOR ROY: Yeah.
- ROMAN: Got it. Real cowboy.
255
00:13:48,827 --> 00:13:51,163
SHIV: Oh, my God.
This feels disgustingly Kendall.
256
00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:52,748
(RYTHMIC PLAYING
OVER SPEAKERS)
257
00:13:52,831 --> 00:13:55,709
- So, where's Tabs? She busy?
- Yeah.
258
00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:57,795
- Again? Did you kill her?
- Yeah.
259
00:13:57,878 --> 00:14:00,089
It's going great,
I'll have you know.
260
00:14:00,172 --> 00:14:02,341
She's just a bit boring is all.
That's all I'm saying.
261
00:14:02,424 --> 00:14:04,677
Okay. The relationship
was fine sexually
262
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,554
and you're loving
the intimacy and all?
263
00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:08,472
Yes. I love the intimacy.
264
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:10,266
I love people
really getting to know me.
265
00:14:10,349 --> 00:14:11,433
Uh-huh. Yeah.
266
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:13,227
Oh, like you're the fucking
catch of the day.
267
00:14:13,310 --> 00:14:14,770
You're more fucked up
than I am.
268
00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:17,439
NURSE: Congratulations!
269
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:20,859
You've just been born
into the world of Kendall Roy!
270
00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:22,570
Okay. Immersive theater.
271
00:14:22,653 --> 00:14:24,863
I mean, I could have consulted,
but whatever.
272
00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:26,115
Oh, Jesus.
273
00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:29,201
Uh, so if we've just been born,
then, uh...
274
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:32,162
Oh, okay.
So I'm inserting myself
275
00:14:32,246 --> 00:14:33,664
into my mom's vagina now?
276
00:14:33,747 --> 00:14:34,873
- Wow.
- Is that what's happening?
277
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:37,459
Cold and inhospitable,
seems to check out.
278
00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:41,046
I am repeatedly entering
my own mother.
279
00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:43,424
Is that-- That's not right.
280
00:14:43,507 --> 00:14:45,259
This is my mom's cooch,
so you know.
281
00:14:45,342 --> 00:14:47,720
And, uh, you're implying
that it's massive,
so you might wanna...
282
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:49,805
tighten my mother's vagina.
283
00:14:49,888 --> 00:14:53,017
Hey, Tom Wambsgans, free man,
how's it going?
284
00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:54,768
Gregory Hirsch, uh,
not going to prison.
285
00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:57,354
-(LAUGHS)
- Pleased to meet you!
286
00:14:57,438 --> 00:14:59,648
Look at you all gussied up,
you slick little fuck.
287
00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:01,775
- Well, thank you. Nice.
- Yes.
288
00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:03,277
- Uh, feeling good?
- Oh, yeah.
289
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:05,946
Say, have you seen,
uh, Comfry?
290
00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:09,992
Ken's PR? With the-- the hair
always kind of in a...
291
00:15:10,951 --> 00:15:14,204
- messy...
- TOM: Gregory John Hirsch.
292
00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:15,581
You got a crush?
293
00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:19,001
- Oh, my God.
- What?
294
00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:20,919
She seems like a nice person.
295
00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:22,963
Well, I mean, she's way out
of your league, man. I mean,
296
00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:25,633
it's like a haunted scarecrow
asking out Jackie Onassis.
297
00:15:25,716 --> 00:15:26,717
It's a suicide mission.
298
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:28,260
Oh, yeah.
Sure, sure, sure, Tom.
299
00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,804
No, no, no. No, no.
This is not a razz.
300
00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:33,015
Greg. She's a goddess.
301
00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:35,851
And you're a-- you're a
nine-foot Cro-Magnon man.
302
00:15:35,934 --> 00:15:39,188
I mean, you shouldn't even be
really thinking about her.
303
00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:40,814
You're gonna put her
in a tough spot.
304
00:15:40,898 --> 00:15:44,276
Look, I'm not unaware
of the discrepancy in terms of
305
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:47,112
- our physical circumstances.
- It's a chasm.
306
00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:51,450
Well, I have an initial approach
which is...
307
00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:55,371
-"You're like a fascinating book
I'd like to crack open."
-(LAUGHS)
308
00:15:55,454 --> 00:15:57,706
Okay. Well, how'd--
how'd you get Shiv?
309
00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:00,668
- She's out of your league.
- Oh!
310
00:16:01,919 --> 00:16:03,504
- Testy, Greg!
- Well?
311
00:16:03,587 --> 00:16:06,507
Well, Greg, I'll tell you. I got
a dick the size of a red sequoia
312
00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:09,968
and I fuck like a bullet train.
Okay? Satisfied?
313
00:16:10,969 --> 00:16:13,472
- Prove it.
- What?
314
00:16:13,555 --> 00:16:14,973
♪ (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING
OVER SPEAKERS) ♪
315
00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:16,892
SHIV: Okay, so where's Matsson?
316
00:16:16,975 --> 00:16:19,061
ROMAN: Probably standing
in a corner somewhere,
317
00:16:19,144 --> 00:16:22,189
- monitoring his biometrics
from his watch.
-(CHUCKLES)
318
00:16:22,272 --> 00:16:24,149
Should we just say hi to Ken
really fast?
319
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:27,861
- Just to get it out of the way?
- Uh, yeah. Oh, hey, hey, Berry.
320
00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:29,446
- Hi.
- Where's Ken?
321
00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:30,906
Uh, VIP.
322
00:16:30,989 --> 00:16:32,074
Uh-huh. Okay.
323
00:16:32,157 --> 00:16:33,826
♪ You ain't know
She came for the skeet ♪
324
00:16:33,909 --> 00:16:35,035
♪ Got pipe for the cheeks ♪
325
00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:36,453
♪ Nigga
I'm the life of the beat ♪
326
00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:38,038
♪ Fuck that
This year gotta eat ♪
327
00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:39,206
♪ B-bounce for the crown ♪
328
00:16:39,289 --> 00:16:40,708
♪ You be hating
And I still hold it down... ♪
329
00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:42,543
Today is pretty fucking iconic.
330
00:16:42,626 --> 00:16:43,627
NAOMI: Yeah.
331
00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:44,920
♪ Bruh, man
That bitch need a pound ♪
332
00:16:45,003 --> 00:16:46,839
♪ Tip, tip, tip
Bounce out her gown ♪
333
00:16:46,922 --> 00:16:48,257
♪ Hands high to the sound... ♪
334
00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:51,510
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a second.
Who-- who-- who let you guys in?
335
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:55,723
- This is friends only.
- Oh. Shouldn't it be empty then?
336
00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:57,683
- Beat me by one second.
-(CHUCKLES)
337
00:16:57,766 --> 00:16:59,518
- Happy birthday, old man.
- Um...
338
00:16:59,601 --> 00:17:01,979
Just to say, I'm only here
because I heard this was going
339
00:17:02,062 --> 00:17:04,022
to be a five-dimensional
catastrophe
340
00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:05,983
and I want to watch you
crash and burn.
341
00:17:06,066 --> 00:17:09,236
- Come here.
- Oh. Yeah, all right. Hugsy.
342
00:17:09,319 --> 00:17:10,571
Man, it's like you feel old.
343
00:17:10,654 --> 00:17:12,322
Are you sure you're only 40?
You look like shit.
344
00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:14,408
♪ Man of the bounce, bruh
I see girls everywhere... ♪
345
00:17:14,491 --> 00:17:16,827
What? No card? I'm disappointed,
346
00:17:16,910 --> 00:17:19,038
because you normally
write me such lovely letters.
347
00:17:19,121 --> 00:17:20,748
Oh, yeah. No, I couldn't
find one that said
348
00:17:20,831 --> 00:17:23,167
both "Happy Birthday"
and "Get Well Soon."
349
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:27,963
Well... I'm glad you came.
350
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:30,340
- It says a lot.
- Yeah,
it was a ten-minute drive.
351
00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:32,009
Uh-huh.
352
00:17:32,092 --> 00:17:34,470
Okay. Well, give me a hug
before you start weeping.
353
00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:37,639
It's good to see you.
354
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:39,433
- CONNOR: Hi, Kenny. (LAUGHS)
- KENDALL: Holy shit.
355
00:17:39,516 --> 00:17:41,226
- Holy shit. Gang's all here?
- Yeah.
356
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:43,896
- Happy birthday.
- Thank you. Hey, man, what--
357
00:17:43,979 --> 00:17:45,481
what-- what-- what's this? What
happened?
358
00:17:45,564 --> 00:17:50,110
Well, little overexcited about
a political breakthrough, so...
359
00:17:50,194 --> 00:17:51,320
- Okay.
- CONNOR: Yeah.
360
00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:52,946
But what-- what's with the coat?
You're not staying or...
361
00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:54,156
It's a coat. I like it.
362
00:17:54,823 --> 00:17:56,909
So, what do you think?
363
00:17:56,992 --> 00:17:58,160
It's cool. Can I ask you,
364
00:17:58,243 --> 00:17:59,953
did you ask
for Mommy's permission
365
00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:02,498
for the use of her, uh, squatch?
366
00:18:02,581 --> 00:18:04,666
What? From a copyright
perspective?
367
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:06,835
Well, it's just, you know,
call me old-fashioned,
368
00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:08,796
but I think you should ask
before you construct
369
00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:10,839
a giant replica
of someone's vagina. No?
370
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:13,592
Roman, relax. Yes,
you can take it home with you.
371
00:18:13,675 --> 00:18:16,929
Okay. So. Go on, tell us.
Who's here?
372
00:18:17,012 --> 00:18:18,430
- Who isn't?
- Your dad.
373
00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:19,890
- Your mom.
- Your wife and kids.
374
00:18:19,973 --> 00:18:22,226
ROMAN: Any real friends.
375
00:18:22,309 --> 00:18:24,520
I mean business folks, yeah.
Stewy?
376
00:18:24,603 --> 00:18:26,522
I mean, honestly, we could do
with building some bridges.
377
00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:29,399
So, yeah, Lawrence Yee?
Lukas Matsson?
378
00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:31,151
Yeah, yeah. They're all here.
Somewhere.
379
00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:32,569
Mm-hmm.
380
00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:34,321
Hey, I got something
to show you. This way. This way.
381
00:18:34,404 --> 00:18:35,572
- ROMAN: Great.
- CONNOR: Hey, Will.
382
00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:37,199
- WILLA FERREYRA: Yeah.
- Hey, Nay.
383
00:18:37,282 --> 00:18:39,201
KENDALL: Nay, I-- I-- I--
I'm gonna show
these guys around.
384
00:18:39,284 --> 00:18:41,495
ROMAN: Hey, uh, I actually
got something from, uh, Dad,
385
00:18:41,578 --> 00:18:43,455
and myself, I suppose.
386
00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:44,706
- What is it?
- ROMAN: Oh,
387
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:46,917
it's, uh, it's your baby teeth
and an iTunes gift card.
388
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,710
It's nice. No, it's a--
it's a nice thing.
389
00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:49,962
We-- we hope you'll like it.
390
00:18:51,129 --> 00:18:53,549
- Okay. Let me show
you some shit.
- CONNOR: Okay.
391
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:58,804
So, I consulted with
Gladwell and Harari,
392
00:18:58,887 --> 00:19:01,974
and Lovelock and Popcorn,
and this in here,
393
00:19:02,057 --> 00:19:03,517
it's, uh, it's pretty technical,
394
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:05,352
but this is the best
we could come up with
395
00:19:05,435 --> 00:19:07,396
on the likely directions
of society,
396
00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:09,481
so a little dry, but...
397
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:11,525
accurate, I would say.
398
00:19:11,608 --> 00:19:12,776
- Accurate.
- CONNOR: President.
399
00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:18,782
ROMAN: Hmm. Not a bad way to go.
400
00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:21,827
Also, we got people in here
picturing me jerking off,
401
00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:23,120
so who's the real winner?
402
00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:24,997
Oh, man.
403
00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:30,544
What if McCartney tweets this?
404
00:19:30,627 --> 00:19:34,715
This is not-- I mean,
jokes are all very well and...
405
00:19:34,798 --> 00:19:36,675
Come on, man,
I'm breaking through.
406
00:19:36,758 --> 00:19:39,011
Ken, I'm not sure that you're
aware, but Conn is polling
407
00:19:39,094 --> 00:19:42,306
- very close to one percent so...
- ROMAN: One percent?
408
00:19:42,389 --> 00:19:43,599
- KENDALL: Really?
- Congrats.
409
00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:44,975
That's four million people,
410
00:19:45,058 --> 00:19:47,102
and it's enough
to sway the race.
411
00:19:47,185 --> 00:19:49,855
And I am interested to see
who comes crawling first,
412
00:19:49,938 --> 00:19:51,815
Merkel, begging for me
to save democracy
413
00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:54,526
or Soros serenading me
from the trees.
414
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:57,404
ROMAN: You did, however,
actually shit your bag.
415
00:19:57,487 --> 00:19:59,406
Yeah, you know why? Because
I took you two fucking assholes
416
00:19:59,489 --> 00:20:01,325
on a camping trip
'cause Dad couldn't be bothered.
417
00:20:01,408 --> 00:20:02,659
- That's why!
- KENDALL: Okay, okay, okay.
418
00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:04,286
- And I ate some
bad fucking fish.
- Hey, hey, hey.
419
00:20:04,369 --> 00:20:06,163
- Okay. Okay. Okay. Hey.
- This is bullshit!
420
00:20:06,246 --> 00:20:07,831
Hey, excuse me, hey, can we--
can we take down
421
00:20:07,915 --> 00:20:09,541
the crap sack
Conner piece, please?
422
00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:12,252
Conn? Conn? Conn?
423
00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:14,296
It's coming down.
It's a joke, okay?
424
00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:15,797
- Come on, man. Loosen up.
- CONNOR: I'm good.
425
00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:18,550
- Okay. Okay. Okay.
- Lose the coat, yeah?
426
00:20:19,801 --> 00:20:22,512
(LAUGHS) Okay.
427
00:20:22,596 --> 00:20:24,681
All right, I gotta circulate.
We can check in later.
428
00:20:24,765 --> 00:20:26,558
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That'd be great
- I'd like that.
429
00:20:26,642 --> 00:20:28,769
It's a great night.
I'm happy you're here.
430
00:20:28,852 --> 00:20:30,771
- Fucking best birthday ever.
- SHIV: Mm-hmm.
431
00:20:31,271 --> 00:20:33,774
Okay. Later.
432
00:20:33,857 --> 00:20:37,986
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
-♪ (MUSIC PLAYING LOUDLY) ♪
433
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:11,603
♪ (SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
434
00:21:28,245 --> 00:21:30,998
Wow. Wow, wow.
435
00:21:31,081 --> 00:21:34,126
♪ (LOUD MUSIC RESUMES) ♪
436
00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:41,633
Hey. Hey, hey.
437
00:21:41,717 --> 00:21:44,886
Hey. Oh, I think there's a line
at the treehouse, actually.
438
00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:47,723
Can you fix, please? Thank you.
439
00:21:47,806 --> 00:21:50,517
- What's up?
- Hey, I'm glad I ran into you.
440
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:52,394
Yeah, yeah, me too.
441
00:21:52,477 --> 00:21:57,190
Right, because I might have
to brief the press against you.
442
00:21:57,274 --> 00:22:00,527
Oh. The-- the-- the whole press?
443
00:22:00,610 --> 00:22:03,905
Yeah. Just Kendall's really
going balls-to-the-wall
444
00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:06,616
- and you know,
you're on the other team.
- Hmm.
445
00:22:06,700 --> 00:22:11,747
But I'm gonna try to keep it
targeted rather than terminal.
446
00:22:11,830 --> 00:22:13,832
Thank you kindly, ma'am.
(CHUCKLES)
447
00:22:13,915 --> 00:22:16,084
That's-- that's very
kind of you.
448
00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:18,420
How-- how can
I possibly repay you?
449
00:22:18,503 --> 00:22:20,422
- PARTY STAFF: Hey, Comf?
- You're a very fair maiden
450
00:22:20,505 --> 00:22:23,633
for-- for such activities,
uh, for such a kind--
451
00:22:24,468 --> 00:22:25,969
A very evenhanded maiden.
452
00:22:28,597 --> 00:22:30,891
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
453
00:22:31,349 --> 00:22:32,476
You good?
454
00:22:33,018 --> 00:22:34,102
Yeah, yeah.
455
00:22:37,230 --> 00:22:41,568
Yeah, so-- so-- Dad sent me
something for my birthday.
456
00:22:42,027 --> 00:22:43,153
NAOMI: Okay?
457
00:22:44,988 --> 00:22:47,240
It's a little Trojan mindfuck.
458
00:22:47,324 --> 00:22:49,868
He's trying to slip a maggot
in the candy apple.
459
00:22:49,951 --> 00:22:52,579
He's offering to buy me out
of my share in the company.
460
00:22:52,662 --> 00:22:58,502
Okay. Wow. Like, what is that?
In terms of a number?
461
00:22:58,585 --> 00:23:02,172
Two bill. But it's a mind game.
He's just-- He's worried
462
00:23:02,255 --> 00:23:05,425
I'm not gonna let him keep on
living rent free up here.
463
00:23:07,219 --> 00:23:08,970
- And?
- And fuck him.
464
00:23:09,054 --> 00:23:11,932
Right? Maybe I refuse to engage.
465
00:23:13,683 --> 00:23:15,102
Mind game that, motherfucker.
466
00:23:16,186 --> 00:23:19,022
Yeah. That's great. But...
467
00:23:21,399 --> 00:23:24,694
maybe you do take it.
468
00:23:25,862 --> 00:23:29,741
Maybe, I don't know.
Yeah, may-- maybe-- maybe...
469
00:23:31,409 --> 00:23:33,787
maybe I buy you
470
00:23:33,870 --> 00:23:37,124
a diamond the size
of the Ritz-Carlton
471
00:23:37,207 --> 00:23:39,126
and a few
illustrious newspapers,
472
00:23:39,209 --> 00:23:40,877
the Globe and Mail,
the LA Times,
473
00:23:40,961 --> 00:23:43,004
I print a front page of my dad
eating dog dick
474
00:23:43,088 --> 00:23:44,756
- every day for a year.
-(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
475
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:48,885
And we're living in Marrakesh
and I'm fucking you
476
00:23:48,969 --> 00:23:51,972
and smoking hash and learning
how to turn a lathe?
477
00:23:54,224 --> 00:23:56,351
-(KENDALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
- Um, all good.
478
00:23:56,434 --> 00:23:59,146
But do we know
where Lukas Matsson
is right now?
479
00:23:59,229 --> 00:24:00,814
Shiv and Roman have been
asking staff
480
00:24:00,897 --> 00:24:03,775
for Matsson's location
and inquiring discreetly
481
00:24:03,859 --> 00:24:05,861
about a private meeting space.
Is that okay?
482
00:24:10,532 --> 00:24:11,575
Okay.
483
00:24:14,077 --> 00:24:15,662
Okay. Uh, can--
can the party team
484
00:24:15,745 --> 00:24:18,582
get eyes on Matsson and ask him
to meet me in the treehouse?
485
00:24:18,665 --> 00:24:20,333
COMFRY: Sure.
486
00:24:20,417 --> 00:24:23,044
(QUIETLY) Um, can you find
Lukas Matsson and tell...
487
00:24:24,546 --> 00:24:26,214
Hey, I have a location.
488
00:24:26,298 --> 00:24:27,591
- Oh, great. Let's go!
- Yeah.
489
00:24:27,674 --> 00:24:29,384
- But don't fuck this, yeah?
- Oh, come on.
490
00:24:29,467 --> 00:24:31,928
- Easy. No. Upstairs.
- Please, where are we going?
491
00:24:32,012 --> 00:24:34,556
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
492
00:24:34,639 --> 00:24:36,808
- What the fuck?
- ROMAN: Yeah. I know.
493
00:24:36,892 --> 00:24:38,935
I think a 40-year-old man
who rebuilds
494
00:24:39,019 --> 00:24:40,729
his childhood treehouse
should immediately
495
00:24:40,812 --> 00:24:42,731
go on
the sex offender registry.
496
00:24:42,814 --> 00:24:44,024
- Hey.
-(SHIV CHUCKLES)
497
00:24:44,107 --> 00:24:45,984
ROMAN: Are you letting me in
or what's the deal?
498
00:24:46,067 --> 00:24:47,235
Do you have a rainbow band?
499
00:24:47,319 --> 00:24:49,946
Yes, I'm-- I'm--
I'm a walking rainbow band.
500
00:24:50,030 --> 00:24:51,656
- There he is.
- Oh, hey.
501
00:24:51,740 --> 00:24:53,033
- ROMAN: Hey.
- Okay.
502
00:24:53,116 --> 00:24:54,201
ROMAN: This guy's
not letting us in.
503
00:24:54,284 --> 00:24:55,744
- You done downstairs?
- Yeah. We are done.
504
00:24:55,827 --> 00:24:58,163
Hey, Ken, may we please
step inside
your mental disorder?
505
00:24:58,246 --> 00:25:00,373
- Good one. (CHUCKLES)
- ROMAN: Thanks.
506
00:25:00,457 --> 00:25:01,833
- Okay.
- KENDALL: Um, sorry.
507
00:25:01,917 --> 00:25:03,335
- ROMAN: What?
- That's not possible.
508
00:25:03,418 --> 00:25:04,461
Okay. Why?
509
00:25:04,544 --> 00:25:06,546
(CLICKS TONGUE) Yeah, well,
because the thing is,
510
00:25:06,630 --> 00:25:10,091
the treehouse is cool
and you're not cool.
511
00:25:10,175 --> 00:25:12,302
Oh, wow, yes. The coolest
grown man's treehouse
512
00:25:12,385 --> 00:25:14,429
- I've seen in quite a while.
-(ROMAN LAUGHS)
513
00:25:14,512 --> 00:25:17,432
Okay. Okay. No, seriously,
guys, just come over--
514
00:25:17,515 --> 00:25:19,684
come over here for a second.
Let's go over here.
515
00:25:19,768 --> 00:25:21,144
Just one second.
516
00:25:23,104 --> 00:25:25,523
Sorry, but, like,
so joking aside...
517
00:25:25,607 --> 00:25:26,733
Great jokes.
518
00:25:26,816 --> 00:25:29,069
There is actually
a real issue here...
519
00:25:29,152 --> 00:25:30,528
- Okay.
-...and I need to be discreet
520
00:25:30,612 --> 00:25:32,572
because there's a lot
of celebrities around
521
00:25:32,656 --> 00:25:35,533
and if you guys were
in the treehouse, it kinda...
522
00:25:36,868 --> 00:25:39,579
kinda wouldn't feel like
the treehouse, you know?
523
00:25:39,663 --> 00:25:40,997
(SHIV SCOFFS)
524
00:25:41,081 --> 00:25:42,916
- You're a Nazi lover.
- Oh.
525
00:25:42,999 --> 00:25:44,417
- And you're a Nazi lover.
- Mm-hmm.
526
00:25:44,501 --> 00:25:46,127
And I'm a defender
of liberal democracy.
527
00:25:46,211 --> 00:25:47,837
-(CHUCKLES) Okay.
- And this here is made
528
00:25:47,921 --> 00:25:49,839
from George Washington's
cherry tree, so...
529
00:25:49,923 --> 00:25:51,216
- The fuck?
- Ya-da-da, da-da-da-da.
530
00:25:51,299 --> 00:25:52,592
Are you actually
not gonna let us in?
531
00:25:52,676 --> 00:25:54,386
Or are you just
gonna bullshit us a little bit
532
00:25:54,469 --> 00:25:56,471
- before you let us in?
- To see Matsson?
533
00:26:00,267 --> 00:26:02,060
That's why you're here.
You're trying to push
a deal here.
534
00:26:02,143 --> 00:26:03,436
- SHIV: So?
- ROMAN: Who fucking
gives a shit?
535
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:04,813
Like what's the difference?
I just wanna talk to him.
536
00:26:04,896 --> 00:26:06,314
High-quality personal conduct.
537
00:26:06,398 --> 00:26:07,524
- Oh.
- Really top rank.
538
00:26:07,607 --> 00:26:09,067
What's the difference? I wanna
talk to him. So what?
539
00:26:09,150 --> 00:26:11,319
Yeah. And you know what happens
if we do talk to him?
540
00:26:11,403 --> 00:26:12,946
Either we strike out
and nothing.
541
00:26:13,029 --> 00:26:15,782
Or we succeed, Waystar benefits,
and your net worth goes up by
542
00:26:15,865 --> 00:26:17,951
- several hundred million dollars
- You're welcome.
543
00:26:18,034 --> 00:26:19,619
- Right.
- SHIV: Yeah.
544
00:26:19,703 --> 00:26:22,122
But I have to weigh that against
the consideration that
no losers are allowed.
545
00:26:22,205 --> 00:26:23,498
- Oh my fucking God.
- Okay, I'm going in.
This is fucking stupid.
546
00:26:23,581 --> 00:26:24,749
- Hey, bro, bro.
- This is dumb.
547
00:26:24,833 --> 00:26:26,835
- Hey, look at him!
Oh my God.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.
548
00:26:26,918 --> 00:26:30,046
Did you see that?
I just got moved. Um, all right.
549
00:26:30,130 --> 00:26:31,339
- Oh, my God, bro!
- No, no, no. No, no, no.
550
00:26:31,423 --> 00:26:32,882
- What? What is this?
- Bro. Bro, bro. Calm down.
551
00:26:32,966 --> 00:26:34,342
Are you actually gonna what,
stop me?
552
00:26:34,426 --> 00:26:35,510
- KENDALL: You're getting
worked up about a treehouse?
- Yeah.
553
00:26:35,593 --> 00:26:36,636
You know how ridiculous that is?
554
00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:38,013
-(ROMAN LAUGHS)
- Hey, come on in. Wristband him.
555
00:26:38,096 --> 00:26:39,848
Yeah, wristband this guy.
Uh, what's his name?
556
00:26:39,931 --> 00:26:41,308
- What is his name? Who is he?
- No idea.
557
00:26:41,391 --> 00:26:43,351
- Good. So good. So good.
- See these two?
558
00:26:43,435 --> 00:26:45,520
Don't let these two in, okay?
559
00:26:45,603 --> 00:26:47,647
- Yeah.
- This is my treehouse.
560
00:26:47,731 --> 00:26:49,607
-(SHIV CHUCKLING)
- You shouldn't be anywhere
near here.
561
00:26:49,691 --> 00:26:51,735
- ROMAN: Mm-hmm.
- SHIV: What is happening?
562
00:26:51,818 --> 00:26:53,903
Oh, hey, thanks
for the offer, Rome.
563
00:26:53,987 --> 00:26:57,282
Really cool. Great headfuck
from you and Dad, thanks.
564
00:26:57,365 --> 00:26:59,617
Unbelievable. Unbelievable.
565
00:26:59,701 --> 00:27:01,494
- What's he talking about?
What offer?
- Oh, I hope he fucking dies.
566
00:27:01,578 --> 00:27:03,496
What? Oh, God. That's nothing.
567
00:27:03,580 --> 00:27:05,957
- SHIV: What is it?
- It's no-- It's a-- it's a--
568
00:27:06,041 --> 00:27:08,918
it's a little move to ease him
out of the holding company.
569
00:27:09,002 --> 00:27:10,003
You and Dad?
570
00:27:10,086 --> 00:27:11,463
Well, he can only sell
to family, right?
571
00:27:11,546 --> 00:27:13,048
And, yeah, I think Dad
put my name on there.
572
00:27:13,131 --> 00:27:14,549
- It's housekeeping.
- Oh, "I think"?
573
00:27:14,632 --> 00:27:16,217
ROMAN: It's a name
on a piece of paper, Shiv.
574
00:27:16,301 --> 00:27:18,803
- It's nothing.
- Okay. So can I be the name
on the piece of paper?
575
00:27:18,887 --> 00:27:21,222
I can't even do anything
with it. It's musical chairs.
576
00:27:21,306 --> 00:27:22,557
I'm sorry. Just, historically,
577
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:24,684
who owns the fucking company
has been of some interest.
578
00:27:24,768 --> 00:27:25,810
Dad and I handled it.
579
00:27:25,894 --> 00:27:27,395
What, you wanna figure out
the financing?
580
00:27:27,479 --> 00:27:28,897
-"Dad and I handled it"?
- Yeah.
581
00:27:28,980 --> 00:27:33,568
Wow. Oh, that's cute.
Yeah, I love that. It's great.
582
00:27:33,651 --> 00:27:36,780
No, it's just fucking great.
Fuck you. Fuck this.
583
00:27:36,863 --> 00:27:40,533
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
584
00:27:43,411 --> 00:27:44,412
(CLAPPING)
585
00:27:44,496 --> 00:27:48,041
There he is. Lukas Matsson.
The Odin of codin'.
586
00:27:48,124 --> 00:27:51,086
My man, my myth,
my fucking monolith.
What's up, bro?
587
00:27:51,169 --> 00:27:52,754
- How are you?
- You having a good time?
588
00:27:52,837 --> 00:27:54,255
Do I look like
I'm having a good time?
589
00:27:54,339 --> 00:27:56,591
- No, you do not.
- I am not.
590
00:27:56,674 --> 00:27:58,927
Still haven't figured out
the socials, huh?
591
00:27:59,010 --> 00:28:02,097
Dude, you should get
your algo guy to fix your code.
592
00:28:02,180 --> 00:28:06,017
Listen, heads up, my siblings,
they're looking for you now.
593
00:28:06,101 --> 00:28:07,018
Well, maybe I need to find
594
00:28:07,102 --> 00:28:08,895
an even more
exclusive area then.
595
00:28:08,978 --> 00:28:10,605
Like a crawlspace or something.
596
00:28:10,688 --> 00:28:11,815
- KENDALL: Yeah. Maybe.
- Yeah.
597
00:28:11,898 --> 00:28:14,067
They're like emissaries
from the Grand Old Duke of Old.
598
00:28:14,150 --> 00:28:17,612
Dad wants to buy you, so he sent
his winged dildos to schmooze.
599
00:28:18,446 --> 00:28:19,906
I shouldn't say anything.
600
00:28:19,989 --> 00:28:22,158
Even the look on my face
is commercially sensitive.
601
00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:28,164
But it makes no sense, correct?
Amtrak buys Tesla.
602
00:28:28,248 --> 00:28:29,707
I mean, if anything,
you should buy him.
603
00:28:29,791 --> 00:28:35,004
You think? Huh. Well, I really
appreciate your impartial read.
604
00:28:37,006 --> 00:28:39,509
- Yeah.
- Uh, Rava wants to say hi.
605
00:28:39,592 --> 00:28:42,929
Sure. Not right now.
When I'm ready.
606
00:28:43,012 --> 00:28:44,055
Okay.
607
00:28:45,140 --> 00:28:47,100
Listen, you should
stay up here, okay?
608
00:28:47,183 --> 00:28:49,561
So you don't get
networked to fuck.
609
00:28:49,644 --> 00:28:51,980
Uh, you need anything?
What can I get you?
610
00:28:52,063 --> 00:28:54,482
Privacy, pussy, pasta.
611
00:28:54,566 --> 00:28:58,611
Done. Reece can help you out.
Like pussy, coke, wristwatches,
612
00:28:58,695 --> 00:29:01,823
fucking garganelli, he's like
a one-man dark web.
613
00:29:01,906 --> 00:29:06,202
Yo, Reece! Reece, customer
for your candy store, man.
614
00:29:07,454 --> 00:29:09,664
He's not a good guy. Enjoy.
615
00:29:15,253 --> 00:29:16,838
KENDALL: Yeah, thanks.
616
00:29:16,921 --> 00:29:18,298
- Hey.
- Hey. They said you were looking
for me.
617
00:29:18,381 --> 00:29:20,008
- Hey. Yeah. Happy birthday.
- Thank you.
618
00:29:20,091 --> 00:29:23,511
I, uh, I just wanted to say hi
before, you know,
619
00:29:23,595 --> 00:29:25,138
everyone's too high.
620
00:29:25,221 --> 00:29:26,473
- Right.
-(CHUCKLES)
621
00:29:26,556 --> 00:29:29,476
Uh, we... we, uh,
might go soon, so...
622
00:29:29,559 --> 00:29:31,352
Well, you can't go.
No, no. I'm doing--
623
00:29:31,436 --> 00:29:33,688
- I'm doing a whole thing.
- RAVA ROY: Oh?
624
00:29:33,771 --> 00:29:35,148
And we got
the Tiny Wu-Tang Clan.
625
00:29:35,231 --> 00:29:38,151
These-- these kids we found
that do Wu-Tang covers.
626
00:29:38,234 --> 00:29:40,528
It's-- it's better
than it sounds. Trust me.
627
00:29:40,612 --> 00:29:43,740
- Okay. (CHUCKLES)
- What? Are you not enjoying it?
628
00:29:43,823 --> 00:29:48,536
Yeah. No, it's-- it's a lot
of people. It's-- it's huge.
629
00:29:48,620 --> 00:29:51,581
Wow. Savage.
What you gonna do for yours?
630
00:29:51,664 --> 00:29:54,542
Just Sarah and Orla and some,
uh, some pasta alfredo?
631
00:29:54,626 --> 00:29:58,171
Three glasses of Chablis
if you're feeling naughty,
and lights out by 11?
632
00:29:58,254 --> 00:30:00,715
That actually sounds
really nice to me.
633
00:30:00,798 --> 00:30:01,799
- Right.
- Mm-hmm.
634
00:30:01,883 --> 00:30:04,636
But listen, um, Gary--
You-- you know Gary?
635
00:30:04,719 --> 00:30:06,095
Yeah. Yeah. I-- I know--
I know Gary.
636
00:30:06,179 --> 00:30:09,015
- Okay.
- Nice little poseable
action figure.
637
00:30:09,098 --> 00:30:11,893
- Does he have any genitals?
- Oh, yes, yes.
638
00:30:11,976 --> 00:30:14,395
- Yes.
- He does. Mm-hmm.
639
00:30:14,479 --> 00:30:16,189
Gary has, uh, an early start.
640
00:30:16,272 --> 00:30:18,525
Okay. Gary's gotta be fresh
for the big meet!
641
00:30:18,608 --> 00:30:23,029
Okay. Uh, thank you.
Happy birthday. Um...
642
00:30:23,112 --> 00:30:25,198
Oh, did you, uh,
did you get the kids' present?
643
00:30:25,281 --> 00:30:26,908
They've-- they've made
something for you.
644
00:30:26,991 --> 00:30:30,036
What? No.
They made me something?
645
00:30:30,119 --> 00:30:33,373
No, I didn't-- that didn't get
to me. What-- when?
646
00:30:33,456 --> 00:30:34,999
When you arrived, who--
who did you give it to?
647
00:30:35,083 --> 00:30:36,709
RAVA: Yeah, we-- I don't know.
648
00:30:36,793 --> 00:30:37,919
We left it with
one of the people.
649
00:30:38,002 --> 00:30:40,088
They said they would
give it to you, but...
650
00:30:40,171 --> 00:30:41,923
- Fine. Okay.
No, I'll-- I'll find it.
- Yeah.
651
00:30:42,006 --> 00:30:44,842
I'm gonna find it
because it'll be logged.
652
00:30:44,926 --> 00:30:46,719
What did it--
what did it look like?
653
00:30:46,803 --> 00:30:48,930
Um, like-- like a present.
654
00:30:49,013 --> 00:30:51,975
It had-- it-- it--
It had rabbit wrapping paper.
655
00:30:52,058 --> 00:30:53,393
All right. Got it.
656
00:30:54,769 --> 00:30:55,812
- Fine, uh...
-(CHUCKLES)
657
00:30:55,895 --> 00:30:57,522
- Thank-- thanks for coming.
- Yeah.
658
00:30:58,648 --> 00:31:03,444
You know, I might be getting out
from the firm finally.
659
00:31:03,528 --> 00:31:05,738
So we'll, we should--
we'll talk more.
660
00:31:05,822 --> 00:31:08,366
It's great, actually, because
maybe, you know, they'll, uh,
661
00:31:08,449 --> 00:31:10,535
stop sending their goons
to the park
662
00:31:10,618 --> 00:31:11,869
to talk to the nanny
663
00:31:11,953 --> 00:31:14,914
about how often you lose
your temper with the kids.
664
00:31:16,874 --> 00:31:21,546
Sorry. Obviously-- obviously
that's not-- that's not cool.
665
00:31:21,629 --> 00:31:25,133
I'll-- I'll-- I'll handle it.
I'm sorry.
666
00:31:25,216 --> 00:31:26,634
I'm-- I'm sorry,
I didn't mean...
667
00:31:26,718 --> 00:31:27,885
Uh-- on your birthday.
668
00:31:27,969 --> 00:31:29,387
You didn't wanna burst my--
burst my birthday bubble?
669
00:31:29,470 --> 00:31:31,055
- I didn't.
- Well, good job.
670
00:31:31,139 --> 00:31:34,058
- Okay.
- Okay. Uh, rabbits,
rabbit paper.
671
00:31:34,142 --> 00:31:35,351
- Rabbits.
- Got it.
672
00:31:40,148 --> 00:31:41,357
Give my love to Kevin.
673
00:31:41,941 --> 00:31:43,276
-(SIGHS)
- Gary.
674
00:31:48,197 --> 00:31:51,743
Why didn't that get to me?
Can we trace that gift, please?
675
00:31:51,826 --> 00:31:53,620
- Priority one.
- Yes. Absolutely.
676
00:31:55,079 --> 00:31:57,749
Hey, cool shoes, man.
Orthopedics?
677
00:31:57,832 --> 00:32:02,211
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
678
00:32:02,295 --> 00:32:04,922
Are they playing
from the approved playlist
in the main room?
679
00:32:05,006 --> 00:32:07,925
Because my-- my-- my thing
was all bangers all the time.
680
00:32:08,009 --> 00:32:09,510
Yeah? All bangers all the time.
681
00:32:09,594 --> 00:32:11,012
- I... think so.
- Yeah?
682
00:32:11,095 --> 00:32:12,680
They're stopping.
Let's read the playlist.
683
00:32:12,764 --> 00:32:14,807
Listen, this is nothing.
It's-- it's-- it's nothing,
684
00:32:14,891 --> 00:32:17,518
but can we-- can we get
Connor to lose his coat?
685
00:32:17,602 --> 00:32:19,854
- Sure.
- Yeah, it's nothing.
686
00:32:19,937 --> 00:32:21,898
He's-- he's souring the vibe.
687
00:32:21,981 --> 00:32:24,901
And he's making everyone
feel cold. It's not cold, is it?
688
00:32:24,984 --> 00:32:26,569
No. It's at a good level.
689
00:32:26,653 --> 00:32:29,614
Exactly. So let's encourage him
to remove his coat, if he wants,
690
00:32:29,697 --> 00:32:31,032
loosen this thing up.
691
00:32:33,076 --> 00:32:34,661
Look, it just-- it just--
it just--
692
00:32:34,744 --> 00:32:37,664
it just feels like
an asshole's birthday party.
693
00:32:37,747 --> 00:32:39,666
And my thing from the very
first meeting was that
694
00:32:39,749 --> 00:32:41,751
it shouldn't feel like
an asshole's birthday party.
695
00:32:42,251 --> 00:32:43,294
Yeah.
696
00:32:45,004 --> 00:32:48,216
- Hey, Ken.
- Hey, Greg! The snitch bitch.
697
00:32:48,299 --> 00:32:54,222
You're-- Yeah. Well...
Uh, I've had too much, uh,
698
00:32:54,305 --> 00:32:55,723
can I have one--
one moment with you?
699
00:32:55,807 --> 00:32:57,558
I'm about to do my set, so...
700
00:32:57,642 --> 00:33:00,853
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Let's ride. Um, yeah, I--
701
00:33:00,937 --> 00:33:03,022
I was wondering about something
because, uh,
702
00:33:03,106 --> 00:33:05,149
I was just about to
ask Comfry out
703
00:33:05,233 --> 00:33:08,695
and then she said this slightly
worrying thing about, um,
704
00:33:08,778 --> 00:33:10,863
how-- how she might have
to do, like, a press brief--
705
00:33:10,947 --> 00:33:14,492
You were gonna ask Comfry out?
Comfry, my employee Comfry?
706
00:33:14,575 --> 00:33:16,369
Um, yeah.
But-- but is that right?
707
00:33:16,452 --> 00:33:19,205
I mean, are you--
Do you have to spin against me?
708
00:33:19,288 --> 00:33:22,250
Because I feel like things
are kind of slowing down
709
00:33:22,333 --> 00:33:23,710
in-- in that regard, right?
710
00:33:23,793 --> 00:33:27,505
No. And she's
out of your league, bro.
711
00:33:27,588 --> 00:33:29,924
Well, yeah, I-- I-- I--
I don't see it that way.
712
00:33:30,007 --> 00:33:31,634
What if I wanna ask her out?
713
00:33:32,844 --> 00:33:34,804
- Uh...
- Inappropriate. But no.
714
00:33:34,887 --> 00:33:36,806
It's best you don't, okay?
715
00:33:36,889 --> 00:33:38,933
Too complicated.
She works for me.
716
00:33:39,016 --> 00:33:41,978
Clean lines.
Church and State, okay?
717
00:33:42,061 --> 00:33:45,231
Okay. I mean, it doesn't-- I--
I don't think it really matters
718
00:33:45,314 --> 00:33:47,900
- because, uh, things are...
- Well, I said no, Greg.
719
00:33:47,984 --> 00:33:49,485
- Sorry?
- I said no.
720
00:33:49,569 --> 00:33:52,071
Jesus, dude. Duh!
721
00:33:53,322 --> 00:33:56,033
You're like the world's biggest
fucking parasite.
722
00:33:56,117 --> 00:33:57,577
You're a human tapeworm.
723
00:33:57,660 --> 00:34:00,455
Maybe stop feeding
on your own fucking family,
724
00:34:00,538 --> 00:34:02,957
and try sucking some
blood elsewhere. Yeah?
725
00:34:05,376 --> 00:34:07,962
-(LAUGHING)
- GREG HIRSCH: What?
726
00:34:08,045 --> 00:34:09,589
- I'm kidding.
- Okay.
727
00:34:10,548 --> 00:34:12,592
- KENDALL: Or am I?
- I have-- I have--
728
00:34:12,675 --> 00:34:13,968
Are-- are you kidding? I...
-(LAUGHS)
729
00:34:14,051 --> 00:34:17,096
I'm not kidding. Am I, or am I?
730
00:34:20,558 --> 00:34:21,601
What's up?
731
00:34:22,226 --> 00:34:23,352
Wow.
732
00:34:26,689 --> 00:34:28,274
Fucking asshole, man.
733
00:34:31,068 --> 00:34:32,153
(SCREEN BUZZES)
734
00:34:34,363 --> 00:34:36,908
(SCREEN BUZZES)
735
00:34:38,951 --> 00:34:42,121
-♪ (LOUD MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
736
00:34:42,205 --> 00:34:44,999
Look at their faces.
So fucking dour.
737
00:34:45,082 --> 00:34:46,292
It's a festivity.
738
00:34:46,375 --> 00:34:48,211
People are supposed
to be festive.
739
00:34:48,294 --> 00:34:49,754
It's fucking bullshit.
740
00:34:49,837 --> 00:34:52,423
Roman and Dad
necking in the catbird seat.
741
00:34:53,216 --> 00:34:55,009
(INHALES SHARPLY)
742
00:34:55,092 --> 00:34:56,844
Did you know anything
about this buyout thing?
743
00:34:56,928 --> 00:34:59,806
Why is no one happy?
What-- what-- what is this?
744
00:34:59,889 --> 00:35:03,851
Babe, you're harshing
your own mellow, just calm down.
745
00:35:03,935 --> 00:35:07,480
♪ (LOUD MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
746
00:35:08,564 --> 00:35:11,150
CONNOR: I mean, that is
some substantial rigging.
747
00:35:11,234 --> 00:35:14,111
- What do you think that cost?
- I don't know, baby.
748
00:35:14,195 --> 00:35:16,155
Hi, Connor.
I'd like to offer you
749
00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:18,032
a complimentary
cashmere sweater.
750
00:35:18,115 --> 00:35:20,117
We're handing them out
to prestige guests.
751
00:35:20,201 --> 00:35:21,953
I have my coat. I'm fine.
752
00:35:23,579 --> 00:35:25,915
Well, the coat check
was supposed to take that,
753
00:35:25,998 --> 00:35:27,834
but I'd be happy to.
754
00:35:27,917 --> 00:35:30,628
Respectfully, I don't trust
those things.
755
00:35:30,711 --> 00:35:34,465
I lost a Norwegian Wool
in a fusion restaurant
in Vancouver.
756
00:35:36,843 --> 00:35:38,427
Kendall would really
appreciate it
757
00:35:38,511 --> 00:35:40,346
- if you took the sweater.
- What?
758
00:35:40,429 --> 00:35:43,599
Hey, my partner is cold
and he'd like to keep
his fucking coat on, okay?
759
00:35:43,683 --> 00:35:46,352
And he's running to be
the next President
of the United States of America,
760
00:35:46,435 --> 00:35:48,563
so maybe you should
show him some fucking respect.
761
00:35:54,402 --> 00:35:55,945
She would not fuck off.
762
00:35:56,445 --> 00:35:57,572
Yeah, she did.
763
00:36:00,283 --> 00:36:02,243
Hi, I had to kill a man for it,
764
00:36:02,326 --> 00:36:04,120
but step aside,
hombre, let me in.
765
00:36:04,203 --> 00:36:06,205
I'm sorry, sir. I really can't.
He said you're not coming in.
766
00:36:06,289 --> 00:36:08,207
Yeah. He was joking.
That's my brother, okay?
767
00:36:08,291 --> 00:36:09,542
- You can Google it. It's not a--
- Sir.
768
00:36:09,625 --> 00:36:10,960
Are you touching me?
769
00:36:11,043 --> 00:36:13,212
This man is groping the guests.
You do not have my permission.
770
00:36:13,296 --> 00:36:14,839
You do not have my permission
to touch me.
771
00:36:20,219 --> 00:36:23,598
♪ (LOUD MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
772
00:36:23,681 --> 00:36:24,974
ROMAN: Hey.
773
00:36:25,057 --> 00:36:27,476
There you are,
fucking hiding from me.
774
00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:28,811
Like a human VPN.
775
00:36:29,687 --> 00:36:31,647
- How you doing?
- I'm all right.
776
00:36:31,731 --> 00:36:36,193
I'm just, uh, you know,
you can fill in the blanks.
777
00:36:36,277 --> 00:36:38,529
No, I hear you.
It's fucking life, right?
778
00:36:38,613 --> 00:36:39,739
It's fucking exhausting.
779
00:36:39,822 --> 00:36:42,575
I just wanna find a good pussy
and get out, you know.
780
00:36:42,658 --> 00:36:43,743
ROMAN: Uh-huh.
781
00:36:43,826 --> 00:36:46,495
- Mission, side mission.
-(LAUGHS) I hear you, man.
782
00:36:46,579 --> 00:36:48,497
I fucking love pussy.
You see my mom's?
783
00:36:48,581 --> 00:36:50,416
-(LAUGHS) Yeah.
-(LAUGHS)
784
00:36:50,499 --> 00:36:51,584
You seen my mom's?
785
00:36:51,667 --> 00:36:53,628
-(LAUGHS) Yeah.
- It's not-- it's not great.
786
00:36:53,711 --> 00:36:56,881
No, um, sure. I mean,
not touching that one.
787
00:36:56,964 --> 00:36:59,634
Um, question.
788
00:36:59,717 --> 00:37:02,219
My old man got a little bit
grumpy this morning,
789
00:37:02,303 --> 00:37:04,639
but you weren't trying
to humiliate him, right? I mean,
790
00:37:04,722 --> 00:37:07,642
everyone says, I mean,
fucking everyone says,
791
00:37:07,725 --> 00:37:10,061
last big legacy content library,
792
00:37:10,144 --> 00:37:12,521
last fucking super app
streaming platform.
793
00:37:14,649 --> 00:37:16,943
We fit obviously, right?
794
00:37:17,026 --> 00:37:18,569
- People say we fit.
- Yeah.
795
00:37:20,488 --> 00:37:22,615
Well, I guess I do have
one question, though.
796
00:37:22,698 --> 00:37:24,158
Yeah, hit me up.
797
00:37:24,241 --> 00:37:25,868
When will your father die?
798
00:37:27,161 --> 00:37:29,205
When will--
When will my father die?
799
00:37:29,288 --> 00:37:30,790
- LUKAS MATSSON: Yeah.
- Um...
800
00:37:32,708 --> 00:37:34,418
Like, I don't wanna be rude,
but...
801
00:37:35,419 --> 00:37:37,338
what kinda shape is he in?
802
00:37:37,421 --> 00:37:41,425
We're talking less than a year,
or it's more like five years?
803
00:37:41,509 --> 00:37:43,761
- Um...
-'Cause if it's five, that's--
804
00:37:44,845 --> 00:37:45,972
- it's a long time.
- Uh-huh.
805
00:37:46,055 --> 00:37:47,640
It-- it would be better sooner,
wouldn't it?
806
00:37:47,723 --> 00:37:49,475
(LAUGHS)
807
00:37:49,558 --> 00:37:51,686
No, no, no. I know, like,
we're-- we're laughing here,
808
00:37:51,769 --> 00:37:53,771
but you know, that is my dad,
so, you know...
809
00:37:53,854 --> 00:37:55,398
- Right. Yeah.
- Go easy there, chief!
810
00:37:55,481 --> 00:37:57,650
- LUKAS: No, I-- I can tell
that it's a bit weird for you.
- That's okay.
811
00:37:57,733 --> 00:38:00,319
It's just I-- I don't like
the idea of a man...
812
00:38:02,113 --> 00:38:04,115
- hanging over me.
- Oh, fuck yeah.
813
00:38:04,198 --> 00:38:06,075
No, I-- I can understand.
Who the fuck wants that? Yeah.
814
00:38:06,158 --> 00:38:09,620
The guru guy who's fucking--
fucking bullshit, you know?
815
00:38:09,704 --> 00:38:11,122
- ROMAN: Okay.
-'Cause it's--
816
00:38:11,205 --> 00:38:13,040
- it's not my world, media.
817
00:38:13,124 --> 00:38:14,291
- ROMAN: Yeah.
- So...
818
00:38:15,501 --> 00:38:19,714
- His death would clear space.
- Mm-hmm.
819
00:38:19,797 --> 00:38:22,049
- LUKAS: With due respect.
- Yeah. No, no, no. No, no, no.
820
00:38:22,133 --> 00:38:24,719
I know. Um, I mean, like,
we're all obviously...
821
00:38:24,802 --> 00:38:26,887
hugely looking forward
to my father dying,
822
00:38:26,971 --> 00:38:30,182
but, um, there-- there's
another shape to this.
823
00:38:30,266 --> 00:38:33,644
How about you never ever
have to speak to him?
824
00:38:33,728 --> 00:38:38,524
I mean, you work out of,
uh, Austin, London, Stockholm,
Geneva, whatever.
825
00:38:38,607 --> 00:38:40,818
Totally separate
corporate identities,
826
00:38:40,901 --> 00:38:43,529
- and StarGo we burn, obviously.
- Yes.
827
00:38:43,612 --> 00:38:44,989
- Yes, please.
- Okay.
828
00:38:45,072 --> 00:38:47,366
- Like burn the codes
and fucking...
-(LAUGHS)
829
00:38:47,450 --> 00:38:49,744
-...acid bath those servers!
- Fucking we can do that.
830
00:38:49,827 --> 00:38:51,203
We can do that together.
Let's do it.
831
00:38:51,287 --> 00:38:53,372
- Yeah.
- Absolutely. I mean,
GoJo full bore.
832
00:38:53,456 --> 00:38:55,458
I mean, our library,
our firepower,
833
00:38:55,541 --> 00:38:57,001
our relationships for content.
834
00:38:57,084 --> 00:38:59,086
And like good shit,
you know what I mean?
835
00:38:59,170 --> 00:39:02,506
Like not fucking gay moms
and wheelchair kids bullshit,
836
00:39:02,590 --> 00:39:05,676
like popular actual good shit.
837
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:07,803
And on the occasion that
you need to send up
838
00:39:07,887 --> 00:39:10,014
a fucking smoke signal
from Geneva,
839
00:39:10,097 --> 00:39:11,724
then that goes through me.
840
00:39:11,807 --> 00:39:13,642
You won't ever, ever
have to deal with him.
841
00:39:13,726 --> 00:39:15,936
- All right.
- Or see him, or talk to him,
or hear-- nothing.
842
00:39:16,020 --> 00:39:20,900
And you know that StarGo truly,
truly is a piece of shit.
843
00:39:20,983 --> 00:39:23,486
It's a piece of shit. I know.
844
00:39:23,569 --> 00:39:27,990
I like to open it just to see
how long it takes
for the landing page to load.
845
00:39:28,074 --> 00:39:30,576
It is a piece of shit.
Hey, why don't we, um...
846
00:39:32,912 --> 00:39:36,290
Why don't we just, like,
take a big old piss on our app?
847
00:39:36,373 --> 00:39:38,959
I'm going to open up the app
on my phone,
848
00:39:39,043 --> 00:39:41,420
and we can stream some piss
on our little
streaming platform.
849
00:39:41,504 --> 00:39:43,506
- How's that sound?
- Fuck yeah.
850
00:39:43,589 --> 00:39:45,633
- Nineteen, twenty...
-(CHUCKLES)
851
00:39:45,716 --> 00:39:48,969
-...twenty-one, twenty-two.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
852
00:39:49,053 --> 00:39:53,224
So, I can't piss near
other men due to...
853
00:39:53,307 --> 00:39:55,142
we don't know what reason,
but please. (CLICKS TONGUE)
854
00:39:55,226 --> 00:39:57,645
- Go ahead.
- Don't mind if I do.
855
00:39:57,728 --> 00:39:59,605
Yeah. Enjoy.
856
00:40:01,023 --> 00:40:04,443
(GROANS, LAUGHS)
857
00:40:04,527 --> 00:40:06,946
So, I know GoJo is your baby,
858
00:40:07,029 --> 00:40:09,740
and we do not wanna interfere
with that at all.
859
00:40:09,824 --> 00:40:11,742
- You're the genius.
- Damn right I am.
860
00:40:11,826 --> 00:40:14,203
Yep, so bearing that in mind,
861
00:40:14,286 --> 00:40:16,288
would you consider
meeting with my dad?
862
00:40:18,791 --> 00:40:19,917
Yeah.
863
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:23,504
And you'd be interested
in selling to us maybe?
864
00:40:23,587 --> 00:40:28,300
Yeah, well, if all this is true,
then... yeah.
865
00:40:28,384 --> 00:40:30,970
- How's Monday?
- Monday is great.
866
00:40:31,053 --> 00:40:32,972
And if I were to shake your hand
right now, could I go
867
00:40:33,055 --> 00:40:35,516
tell my dad that I basically
just bought GoJo for him?
868
00:40:35,599 --> 00:40:37,101
(CHUCKLES) No.
869
00:40:37,184 --> 00:40:39,186
But you can tell him
I'm in the conversation.
870
00:40:39,270 --> 00:40:42,356
- Fucking A, I'll take it.
- Okay. Take this.
871
00:40:42,439 --> 00:40:43,816
(CHUCKLES) Will do.
872
00:40:43,899 --> 00:40:44,984
- Are we amazing?
-(CHUCKLES)
873
00:40:45,067 --> 00:40:46,735
I think I might be the best
businessman in America.
874
00:40:46,819 --> 00:40:50,823
Hey, check this out.
Still fucking loading.
875
00:40:50,906 --> 00:40:53,200
- You piece of shit.
- Shit.
876
00:40:53,284 --> 00:40:55,494
- ROMAN: Fuck you! (SPITS)
-(LUKAS LAUGHS)
877
00:40:55,578 --> 00:40:57,663
Okay. (SIGHS) If you wanna
put on the harness,
878
00:40:57,746 --> 00:41:00,875
you can tuxedo up,
step up onto the footrest.
879
00:41:00,958 --> 00:41:02,543
Then we'll strap you in.
880
00:41:02,626 --> 00:41:06,297
You'll have 30 seconds,
and the rig will fly you up
881
00:41:06,380 --> 00:41:07,548
and into position.
882
00:41:07,631 --> 00:41:10,259
You'll have a three, two, one,
883
00:41:10,342 --> 00:41:12,303
and you'll see
the green light, okay?
884
00:41:12,386 --> 00:41:14,430
That's the countdown
to the intro.
885
00:41:14,513 --> 00:41:17,349
You ready?
You ready to crucify Billy Joel?
886
00:41:18,309 --> 00:41:19,393
Yeah, yeah.
887
00:41:19,476 --> 00:41:22,062
(CHUCKLES) I'm just kidding.
You're gonna be great.
888
00:41:22,146 --> 00:41:25,566
Remember the thing he said
about the rig spiraling,
889
00:41:25,649 --> 00:41:29,904
so just, like, keep still, yeah?
That sounded serious.
890
00:41:29,987 --> 00:41:31,572
Okay. Harness, then mic.
891
00:41:33,824 --> 00:41:36,035
Ready to rock?
You wanna get changed?
892
00:41:36,952 --> 00:41:39,330
Yeah, you know what? Uh...
893
00:41:41,290 --> 00:41:42,666
I don't think I'm gonna do this.
894
00:41:43,459 --> 00:41:44,710
You don't wanna do it?
895
00:41:44,793 --> 00:41:49,256
No, it's-- it's-- (SCOFFS)
It's bullshit. No.
896
00:41:49,340 --> 00:41:52,968
Because you did say
if you don't lean right in,
it could come across dumb.
897
00:41:53,052 --> 00:41:56,263
And your speech
kind of tees it up
with a kind of ironic,
898
00:41:56,347 --> 00:41:58,557
"This is the culmination
of my life's journey,
899
00:41:58,641 --> 00:42:01,936
- to be crucified to save
you morons, and..."
- I'm not doing it. It's-- it's--
900
00:42:02,019 --> 00:42:05,856
it's like 15 layers
overdetermined master's degree
fucking hokum.
901
00:42:05,940 --> 00:42:08,567
Let's just-- let's just pull it.
I mean, what-- what is it?
902
00:42:08,651 --> 00:42:11,737
It's dressed in a tuxedo,
nailed to a cross,
903
00:42:11,820 --> 00:42:13,656
singing "Honesty" by Billy Joel?
904
00:42:13,739 --> 00:42:15,241
It doesn't make
any fucking sense.
905
00:42:15,324 --> 00:42:17,952
Uh, what about the Tiny Wu-Tang?
906
00:42:19,161 --> 00:42:21,372
(CLICKS TONGUE) Ah, fuck. Uh...
907
00:42:23,249 --> 00:42:25,459
I don't know. I don't--
You know what? I don't think so.
908
00:42:26,043 --> 00:42:27,920
No? Okay.
909
00:42:28,003 --> 00:42:30,673
Tell 'em they've got it
all ahead of them. Yeah.
910
00:42:34,843 --> 00:42:37,304
That's a fucking relief.
911
00:42:37,388 --> 00:42:41,350
♪ ("DON'T GAS ME"
BY DIZZEE RASCAL
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS) ♪
912
00:42:43,310 --> 00:42:45,062
♪ Make a turn and dip
With the bass on max ♪
913
00:42:45,145 --> 00:42:47,022
♪ Yeah, they heard my shit
Yeah, they heard my shit ♪
914
00:42:47,106 --> 00:42:48,732
♪ Streaming, no CDs ♪
915
00:42:48,816 --> 00:42:50,192
♪ No burners skipped
Got the playlist ♪
916
00:42:50,276 --> 00:42:52,278
♪ There I don't burn and rip
On the M25 ♪
917
00:42:52,361 --> 00:42:54,446
♪ Yeah, I swerve and slip
Yeah, I swerve and slip ♪
918
00:42:54,530 --> 00:42:55,948
♪ Took a pop
And a car rolled up ♪
919
00:42:56,031 --> 00:42:57,783
♪ And they said, "Swear down"
And I said, "Don't gas me" ♪
920
00:42:57,866 --> 00:42:59,785
♪ They said, "Fam, you're a star
Can I get a quick pic ♪
921
00:42:59,868 --> 00:43:01,745
♪ For the 'gram?"
And I said, "Don't gas me" ♪
922
00:43:01,829 --> 00:43:03,205
♪ Messed around
One pretty brown ting ♪
923
00:43:03,289 --> 00:43:05,457
♪ Said she love me long time
And I said, "Don't gas me" ♪
924
00:43:05,541 --> 00:43:06,834
♪ I went shop
And the boss man said ♪
925
00:43:06,917 --> 00:43:09,461
♪ "Don't pay me, it's fine"
And I said, "What" ♪
926
00:43:09,545 --> 00:43:11,338
♪ You ain't gotta gas
I'm gas, fam... ♪
927
00:43:11,422 --> 00:43:14,800
♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
928
00:43:17,386 --> 00:43:18,887
Oh, hey.
929
00:43:18,971 --> 00:43:22,516
- Hey, Comf, how's it going?
- Hey. Good.
930
00:43:22,599 --> 00:43:24,977
- Yeah?
- Yeah, it's good.
931
00:43:25,060 --> 00:43:28,981
Ken had me try to call
Springsteen to rescue the vibe
932
00:43:29,064 --> 00:43:33,402
and then that got countermanded
and now I'm working on a...
933
00:43:33,485 --> 00:43:37,740
jetpack for him to leave through
the retractable ceiling
934
00:43:37,823 --> 00:43:40,284
that takes 48 hours
to move, so...
935
00:43:41,076 --> 00:43:43,120
- Okay. (CHUCKLES)
-(SIGHS)
936
00:43:43,203 --> 00:43:46,707
Yeah, I mean a lot of the ideas
are jokes, but some aren't.
937
00:43:46,790 --> 00:43:50,085
Very weird. Yes, indeed.
(CLEARS THROAT)
938
00:43:54,423 --> 00:43:55,341
What?
939
00:43:55,424 --> 00:43:59,678
No, me-- No, nothing. Yeah.
Ye-- Yeah, um...
940
00:43:59,762 --> 00:44:03,474
It's stupid, but earlier, um,
941
00:44:03,557 --> 00:44:05,267
before I heard you were gonna
942
00:44:05,351 --> 00:44:07,227
orchestrate a smear campaign against me,
943
00:44:07,311 --> 00:44:09,146
I-- I was actually gonna ask you
944
00:44:09,229 --> 00:44:11,357
if you wanted to
grab a drink sometime.
945
00:44:11,774 --> 00:44:13,859
Oh, okay.
946
00:44:13,942 --> 00:44:17,404
Yeah, but then, um, Kendall,
947
00:44:17,488 --> 00:44:20,282
you know, Ken-- Kendall,
he said, um...
948
00:44:20,366 --> 00:44:22,284
COMFRY: He said what?
949
00:44:22,368 --> 00:44:27,706
He just said maybe not.
Clean lines. Church and State.
950
00:44:27,790 --> 00:44:29,833
Wrong time, wrong place. But--
951
00:44:31,168 --> 00:44:32,169
but maybe...
952
00:44:33,295 --> 00:44:35,631
when-- when you're
not working for him anymore
953
00:44:35,714 --> 00:44:37,674
and trying to destroy
my reputation
954
00:44:37,758 --> 00:44:39,718
- and, and such--
- You know, I've spent a week
955
00:44:39,802 --> 00:44:42,346
researching where to get
lunchboxes from the '80s
956
00:44:42,429 --> 00:44:44,390
to serve canapes from?
957
00:44:44,473 --> 00:44:46,100
Like the one he used
to take to school.
958
00:44:46,183 --> 00:44:48,394
And then he decided that
he didn't want lunchboxes,
959
00:44:48,477 --> 00:44:51,271
and so now I have
all these He-Man lunchboxes
in my apartment,
960
00:44:51,355 --> 00:44:53,023
and I have to resell them
on eBay,
961
00:44:53,107 --> 00:44:54,900
and his office wants receipts.
962
00:44:57,361 --> 00:45:01,281
So if you wanna ask me out,
then ask me out.
963
00:45:02,658 --> 00:45:05,369
- Do you wanna go out sometime?
- Yes.
964
00:45:05,953 --> 00:45:06,995
Great.
965
00:45:08,914 --> 00:45:12,584
Wow. She's--
she's really dancing there.
966
00:45:12,668 --> 00:45:14,378
Very-- very emancipated.
967
00:45:14,461 --> 00:45:15,796
♪ No burners skipped
Got the playlist ♪
968
00:45:15,879 --> 00:45:18,632
♪ There I don't burn and rip
On the M25... ♪
969
00:45:18,715 --> 00:45:20,717
Do you know what she's taken?
970
00:45:21,802 --> 00:45:23,637
I don't think
she's taken anything.
971
00:45:24,596 --> 00:45:27,599
Just getting the demons out,
I guess.
972
00:45:29,226 --> 00:45:31,395
KENDALL: Hey, you found the gift
from my kids?
973
00:45:31,478 --> 00:45:36,191
Um, I don't believe so.
974
00:45:36,275 --> 00:45:40,028
No? Uh-huh. Well, uh--
Okay. That's not good.
975
00:45:41,488 --> 00:45:43,073
Uh, will you give us
a moment, please?
976
00:45:50,664 --> 00:45:55,502
They made me something
apparently, so I gotta find it.
977
00:46:04,261 --> 00:46:06,513
Hey, Ken, it'll-- it'll turn up.
978
00:46:06,597 --> 00:46:09,391
Uh-huh. Well, it won't turn up
if we don't look for it.
979
00:46:09,475 --> 00:46:12,227
- Well, I know that.
- Sorry, I'm sorry.
980
00:46:13,103 --> 00:46:14,188
I'm just saying.
981
00:46:15,230 --> 00:46:17,316
(MUTTERING)
Where the fuck is it?
982
00:46:27,117 --> 00:46:28,660
Hey, Ken, take a break.
983
00:46:31,872 --> 00:46:33,081
Would you like my gift?
984
00:46:35,250 --> 00:46:39,963
Yeah. Yes, I would.
Yes, I would love that.
985
00:46:52,142 --> 00:46:55,812
- NAOMI: It's a watch.
- Okay. Wow. Yeah. Thanks.
986
00:46:55,896 --> 00:46:58,315
- Thanks, Nay.
- I'm, like, really bad
at presents. (LAUGHS)
987
00:46:58,398 --> 00:46:59,942
- It-- I like it, all right.
- Just-- just give it back.
988
00:47:00,025 --> 00:47:01,735
- No, I like it. I like it.
- No, it's fine. It's fine.
989
00:47:01,818 --> 00:47:03,654
Thanks, Nay. Is it, uh--
990
00:47:03,737 --> 00:47:06,365
Can I see?
Is it-- is it-- is it, um...
991
00:47:06,448 --> 00:47:08,826
- inscribed, or...
- No, it's just a stupid watch.
992
00:47:08,909 --> 00:47:10,661
Okay? I'll get you
something else.
993
00:47:12,287 --> 00:47:15,749
Do you, uh... want a blow job?
994
00:47:15,832 --> 00:47:17,793
Hah. No, it's just...
995
00:47:20,671 --> 00:47:23,799
I don't wanna be a dick,
but I-- I have a watch,
996
00:47:23,882 --> 00:47:25,342
you know, I have my watch.
997
00:47:25,425 --> 00:47:26,802
It's a shitty gift, okay?
998
00:47:26,885 --> 00:47:28,720
- I'm... bad.
- No, Nay, listen.
999
00:47:31,098 --> 00:47:34,476
Yeah, I'm just trying to get
inside your head and figure out
1000
00:47:35,352 --> 00:47:37,187
why you would give me this gift.
1001
00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:42,526
Yeah, it's fine.
1002
00:47:44,736 --> 00:47:46,071
- It's fine.
- Ken?
1003
00:47:51,743 --> 00:47:54,413
Hey! Ken, come on.
1004
00:47:56,582 --> 00:48:00,127
Ken, come on, seriously,
okay? Look...
1005
00:48:00,210 --> 00:48:02,337
- I'm gonna look for that gift.
- Hey, stop.
1006
00:48:05,882 --> 00:48:09,469
Ken, Jesus. Hey, calm--
Stop, stop, stop.
1007
00:48:09,553 --> 00:48:10,971
- Just chill!
-(KENDALL MUTTERING
INDISTINCTLY)
1008
00:48:17,644 --> 00:48:18,812
I'm sorry.
1009
00:48:19,813 --> 00:48:20,981
It's okay.
1010
00:48:25,235 --> 00:48:26,695
This is so pathetic.
1011
00:48:30,699 --> 00:48:31,825
I wish I was...
1012
00:48:42,544 --> 00:48:43,712
What?
1013
00:48:46,048 --> 00:48:47,341
I wish I was home.
1014
00:48:48,342 --> 00:48:49,551
Let's go home.
1015
00:48:51,345 --> 00:48:52,763
Are you okay?
1016
00:48:52,846 --> 00:48:55,223
Yes, I'm okay, Greg. Why do you
keep asking if I'm okay?
1017
00:48:55,307 --> 00:48:58,268
Well, just-- I haven't seen
you smile in, like six hours.
1018
00:48:58,352 --> 00:49:00,354
You don't have to smile
to be happy, Greg.
1019
00:49:00,437 --> 00:49:02,648
I'm enjoying very much
thinking about myself
1020
00:49:02,731 --> 00:49:05,484
and my own various skills
and abilities.
1021
00:49:07,110 --> 00:49:08,612
Shall we try
the compliment tunnel?
1022
00:49:08,695 --> 00:49:10,489
- Sure.
- It could be nice.
1023
00:49:11,615 --> 00:49:13,075
- Why are you so happy?
- Ooh!
1024
00:49:13,158 --> 00:49:14,242
- Me?
- Yeah.
1025
00:49:14,326 --> 00:49:18,163
(CHUCKLES) Well, uh,
actually, because I, uh,
1026
00:49:18,246 --> 00:49:21,667
I have met the most
wonderful girl in the world.
1027
00:49:21,750 --> 00:49:23,335
You're just fantastic.
1028
00:49:23,418 --> 00:49:26,129
Yes, I am amazing. Amazing.
1029
00:49:26,213 --> 00:49:28,465
I mean, it's possible
she's only going out with me
1030
00:49:28,548 --> 00:49:31,218
due to, you know,
rancor or pique.
1031
00:49:31,301 --> 00:49:33,095
COMPLIMENTER:
You're so full of grace.
1032
00:49:33,178 --> 00:49:36,056
- What's that?
- I think he said
you're full of grace.
1033
00:49:36,139 --> 00:49:38,892
That's a weird thing to say.
You being sarcastic?
1034
00:49:38,975 --> 00:49:40,727
- He being sarcastic?
- No, I think it's...
1035
00:49:40,811 --> 00:49:42,729
Full of gra--
Full of fucking what? What?
1036
00:49:42,813 --> 00:49:45,982
- What did you say?
- Wait. Tom, To-- Easy.
1037
00:49:46,066 --> 00:49:48,318
He's just--
You're doing the job, right?
1038
00:49:48,402 --> 00:49:50,612
And he's had a little cocaine
tonight, so I think he's...
1039
00:49:50,696 --> 00:49:52,698
Dude, don't say that.
Don't say that.
1040
00:49:52,781 --> 00:49:55,117
I'm a public figure who could
one day run for high office
1041
00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:57,744
or lead a Fortune 500.
Don't say that.
1042
00:49:57,828 --> 00:50:00,664
All right. He's a lovely guy.
(CHUCKLES)
1043
00:50:00,747 --> 00:50:02,040
You're doing great work.
1044
00:50:03,792 --> 00:50:05,377
You're so merry.
1045
00:50:06,002 --> 00:50:07,295
Well, yeah, it's just...
1046
00:50:07,379 --> 00:50:10,799
I don't know. I-- I'm excited
about my date. I like her.
1047
00:50:10,882 --> 00:50:12,843
- What can I say? It's exciting.
- You're the best.
1048
00:50:12,926 --> 00:50:14,845
- GREG: Thank you.
- TOM: Fuck off.
1049
00:50:14,928 --> 00:50:18,098
You seem much happier
than me, Greg.
1050
00:50:18,181 --> 00:50:21,977
I feel happy, I guess.
It's not a finite pie,
1051
00:50:22,060 --> 00:50:23,854
- we can both happy.
- Uh-huh, sure.
1052
00:50:23,937 --> 00:50:26,773
But it's supposed to be me
that's happy, and it's you.
1053
00:50:26,857 --> 00:50:28,942
How did that happen? Huh?
1054
00:50:29,025 --> 00:50:31,403
I took the wrong drugs
in the wrong order,
1055
00:50:31,486 --> 00:50:32,571
and I can't get happy.
1056
00:50:32,654 --> 00:50:35,323
Well, can't you just
be happy you're free?
1057
00:50:35,407 --> 00:50:37,409
No, 'cause you've ruined it.
1058
00:50:37,492 --> 00:50:40,162
- How have I ruined it?
- I don't know. You just have.
1059
00:50:42,372 --> 00:50:44,791
♪ (LOUD MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
1060
00:50:44,875 --> 00:50:46,334
- ROMAN: Hey, there she is.
- SHIV: Hey.
1061
00:50:46,418 --> 00:50:48,336
- ROMAN: Hey.
- What are you up to?
What's going on?
1062
00:50:48,420 --> 00:50:50,630
I heard you were speaking.
Did you get to Matsson?
1063
00:50:50,714 --> 00:50:53,967
Are you okay?
Onlookers reported you having
some kind of breakdown.
1064
00:50:54,050 --> 00:50:56,052
People were anxious that
you maybe swallowed your tongue.
1065
00:50:57,012 --> 00:50:58,138
Yeah, I was dancing.
1066
00:50:58,221 --> 00:50:59,556
I heard it looked like
a cry for help.
1067
00:50:59,639 --> 00:51:02,809
"The Dance of the Sugar
Plum Failure." (GIGGLES)
1068
00:51:02,893 --> 00:51:06,188
- Fuck you. You spoke to him?
- Uh, yup.
1069
00:51:06,271 --> 00:51:09,274
- SHIV: And?
- You mind if I don't say?
1070
00:51:09,357 --> 00:51:11,109
(LAUGHS) Are you f--
Okay, come on.
1071
00:51:11,193 --> 00:51:14,321
All right. Don't worry about it,
Shivvy. I'll handle it.
1072
00:51:14,404 --> 00:51:15,781
You can go cut a rug.
1073
00:51:15,864 --> 00:51:19,034
- Rome, seriously, come on.
- I am being serious.
1074
00:51:19,117 --> 00:51:21,328
I will talk to Dad and see
if he wants to loop you in.
1075
00:51:21,411 --> 00:51:23,246
He often does
like to loop you in.
1076
00:51:23,330 --> 00:51:26,082
Rome, just--
just fucking tell me.
1077
00:51:26,166 --> 00:51:28,335
This is important,
and I might need to finesse.
1078
00:51:28,418 --> 00:51:30,295
- Oh, you need to finesse?
- Yeah.
1079
00:51:30,378 --> 00:51:32,214
Thank you. That's kind.
How would you finesse
1080
00:51:32,297 --> 00:51:33,757
something that's done?
What, by ruining it?
1081
00:51:33,840 --> 00:51:36,343
- No, by making sure you don't--
- The thing is that Lukas and I
1082
00:51:36,426 --> 00:51:38,678
have, like, a thing,
and I don't see how you fit in.
1083
00:51:38,762 --> 00:51:40,388
You know what? If you wanna
show off to somebody,
1084
00:51:40,472 --> 00:51:41,932
maybe do it to somebody
who gives a shit.
1085
00:51:42,015 --> 00:51:44,059
You're having a very bad day,
I know that,
1086
00:51:44,142 --> 00:51:47,229
what with hearing
that you have to continue
to share your apartment
1087
00:51:47,312 --> 00:51:49,314
with the old meat wardrobe,
but, you know,
1088
00:51:49,397 --> 00:51:50,690
try to keep your wig on, yeah?
1089
00:51:50,774 --> 00:51:52,651
- I'm the one
in a functioning relationship.
- Sure you are.
1090
00:51:52,734 --> 00:51:55,570
I saw you, you know, I saw
you sipping Dad's champagne
1091
00:51:55,654 --> 00:51:57,155
looking like you were
sucking a lemon.
1092
00:51:57,239 --> 00:51:58,532
I don't drink on workdays...
1093
00:51:58,615 --> 00:51:59,991
- You don't drink on workdays.
-...because I have self-control.
1094
00:52:00,075 --> 00:52:01,660
Okay. That's what that is. Okay.
1095
00:52:01,743 --> 00:52:03,954
I thought maybe you were
thinking about all the dick
you were gonna ride
1096
00:52:04,037 --> 00:52:05,789
- when he was inside?
- Oh, my fucking God.
1097
00:52:05,872 --> 00:52:08,333
You know what? No one likes
talking about me fucking guys
1098
00:52:08,416 --> 00:52:10,126
- as much as you do.
Do you know that?
- Mm-hmm.
1099
00:52:10,210 --> 00:52:12,963
SIOBHAN: Why is that?
Is that because
you're the COO who can't fuck?
1100
00:52:13,046 --> 00:52:15,841
Hmm. (CLICKS TONGUE) Mmm.
1101
00:52:15,924 --> 00:52:17,384
Did you think Tom
was going to jail?
1102
00:52:17,467 --> 00:52:19,135
- Did you? Did you?
- No, I'm happy he's
not going to jail.
1103
00:52:19,219 --> 00:52:21,179
Oh, I'm sure you are.
You look really happy.
1104
00:52:21,263 --> 00:52:23,139
Did you think he was, though?
Maybe?
1105
00:52:23,223 --> 00:52:25,934
He-- There was a chance
he was going to jail?
Maybe Dad was gonna go to jail?
1106
00:52:26,017 --> 00:52:27,561
Fuck, maybe
I was gonna go to jail.
1107
00:52:27,644 --> 00:52:29,980
And because Kendall's...
(CLICKS TONGUE)
1108
00:52:30,063 --> 00:52:32,357
...that it was all about you.
You thought it was ladies' night
1109
00:52:32,440 --> 00:52:34,526
and they were playing your song,
but guess what?
1110
00:52:34,609 --> 00:52:37,571
You were wrong! All the men
got together in man club
1111
00:52:37,654 --> 00:52:40,949
and we decided, sweetheart,
everything's fine, so just...
1112
00:52:42,784 --> 00:52:44,327
- We got it.
- You know, he is using you
1113
00:52:44,411 --> 00:52:46,246
as a messenger boy,
but as usual...
1114
00:52:46,329 --> 00:52:48,540
- Mm-hmm.
-...you're too fucking dumb
to see it.
1115
00:52:48,623 --> 00:52:51,293
It's difficult. I get it.
It's very difficult for you
1116
00:52:51,376 --> 00:52:54,671
to have to do the dance for Dad
because you just suck
at dancing.
1117
00:52:54,754 --> 00:52:56,089
You're a piece of shit,
you know that?
1118
00:52:56,172 --> 00:52:57,924
ROMAN: It turns out he loves it
when I do the Daddy dance,
1119
00:52:58,008 --> 00:52:59,467
but I guess that's
because he loves me.
1120
00:52:59,551 --> 00:53:02,762
He loves fucking me,
and he just doesn't wanna
fuck you anymore.
1121
00:53:02,846 --> 00:53:05,473
What are you even talking about?
You're so gross.
1122
00:53:05,557 --> 00:53:08,268
(LAUGHS) Oh, Daddy doesn't
love his little carrot top
1123
00:53:08,351 --> 00:53:11,313
even when she does her
little Daddy dance.
1124
00:53:11,396 --> 00:53:13,732
- Dad-Daddy, Dad-Daddy dance.
- I fucking hate you, man.
1125
00:53:13,815 --> 00:53:16,359
Oh, shit. Look who it is.
It's birthday boy. Hey!
1126
00:53:16,443 --> 00:53:18,737
- Happy birthday, man.
- Enough, yeah?
1127
00:53:18,820 --> 00:53:20,322
Oh, okay. Yeah. Sorry.
Good night.
1128
00:53:22,782 --> 00:53:24,242
Neither of you should
be in here.
1129
00:53:24,326 --> 00:53:26,620
Oh my God, you're right.
Someone call the cops!
1130
00:53:26,703 --> 00:53:28,413
Intruders have breached
the masturbatorium!
1131
00:53:28,496 --> 00:53:29,664
KENDALL:
You're both full of shit.
1132
00:53:29,748 --> 00:53:31,666
And you came here
to fuck me behind my back.
1133
00:53:31,750 --> 00:53:33,418
And you're ghouls
and you're disgusting.
1134
00:53:33,501 --> 00:53:36,963
- Sorry. Whoops.
- Can we get them out?
1135
00:53:37,047 --> 00:53:38,798
- ROMAN: Oh, get them out?
- KENDALL: Can we
get them out, please?
1136
00:53:38,882 --> 00:53:41,092
Um, it's a little late
for that, buddy.
I already spoke to Mattson.
1137
00:53:41,176 --> 00:53:43,303
Who hates you, by the way,
and laughs at you constantly.
1138
00:53:43,386 --> 00:53:44,262
Just stop.
1139
00:53:44,346 --> 00:53:46,264
ROMAN: Oh, what?
Go easy on birthday boy?
1140
00:53:46,348 --> 00:53:48,141
Did you come here to see me
at all?
1141
00:53:48,975 --> 00:53:50,393
You didn't, did you, Shiv?
1142
00:53:50,477 --> 00:53:53,271
Well, look, we haven't been
getting along that great lately,
1143
00:53:53,355 --> 00:53:55,523
so what do you think? Surprised?
1144
00:53:57,025 --> 00:53:59,069
- GoJo was my idea.
-(LAUGHS)
1145
00:53:59,152 --> 00:54:00,904
- You stole my idea.
-"You stole my idea."
1146
00:54:00,987 --> 00:54:04,366
What are you, fucking six?
Dude, you lost. No big deal.
1147
00:54:04,449 --> 00:54:06,159
No need to cry about it.
You lost.
1148
00:54:06,242 --> 00:54:09,162
You like the spying, Shiv?
On my daughter?
1149
00:54:09,245 --> 00:54:10,830
- Oh.
- On your niece? You like that?
1150
00:54:10,914 --> 00:54:13,249
- Okay. Lay off the drugs, Ken.
- ROMAN:
It's not a fucking big deal.
1151
00:54:13,333 --> 00:54:14,793
- Who gives a shit?
- We are spying?
1152
00:54:14,876 --> 00:54:16,836
ROMAN: Yes, of-- Oh, come on.
Of course we are.
1153
00:54:16,920 --> 00:54:18,797
It's a fucking party game.
He's in Dad's shit,
1154
00:54:18,880 --> 00:54:20,715
so we're up in his,
everybody's in the shit.
1155
00:54:20,799 --> 00:54:22,550
- Don't act like
you're fucking clean.
- No, okay. That is disgusting.
1156
00:54:22,634 --> 00:54:25,011
It's disgusting?
What, you're siding
with him now? Traitor?
1157
00:54:25,095 --> 00:54:26,680
I'm just saying
there's a line, bro.
1158
00:54:26,763 --> 00:54:28,431
- Fucking Sophie and Iverson?
They're kids.
- ROMAN: Oh, there's a line now?
1159
00:54:28,515 --> 00:54:30,225
There's a fucking line now?
No line for him,
1160
00:54:30,308 --> 00:54:31,851
no line for you,
but there's a line for me?
1161
00:54:31,935 --> 00:54:34,145
You're a bunch of stuck-up cunts
who can't fucking bear
1162
00:54:34,229 --> 00:54:36,314
to see me win. That's it.
That's all this is.
1163
00:54:36,398 --> 00:54:38,274
You're not a real person.
1164
00:54:38,358 --> 00:54:40,735
You know that?
You're not a real person.
1165
00:54:40,819 --> 00:54:42,570
You're not real.
1166
00:54:42,654 --> 00:54:45,073
Come on. Why don't you
hit me maybe?
1167
00:54:45,156 --> 00:54:46,658
- Come on.
- Come on, shitty Jesus.
1168
00:54:46,741 --> 00:54:49,995
You know you want to.
Just fucking hit me. Do it.
1169
00:54:50,078 --> 00:54:52,622
"I'm not a real person."
Fuck you.
1170
00:54:52,706 --> 00:54:53,957
All right.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
1171
00:54:54,040 --> 00:54:55,500
Have a good birthday,
okay, fuckface?
1172
00:54:55,583 --> 00:54:57,877
- CONNOR: Hey, what is this?
- Oh, shit! Oh, fuck!
1173
00:54:57,961 --> 00:55:00,171
(LAUGHING) Are you okay?
Happy birthday.
1174
00:55:00,255 --> 00:55:02,507
Everybody just take it easy,
okay?
1175
00:55:03,341 --> 00:55:07,595
(ROMAN LAUGHING)
1176
00:55:11,933 --> 00:55:13,018
Take your coat off.
1177
00:55:15,145 --> 00:55:17,731
- Take your fucking coat off.
- That's enough. That's enough.
1178
00:55:18,898 --> 00:55:20,817
KENDALL:
Take your fucking coat off!
1179
00:55:20,900 --> 00:55:23,653
-(ROMAN GIGGLES)
- Like a fucking eight-year-old.
You're an asshole.
1180
00:55:23,737 --> 00:55:28,366
It's funny. It's funny.
You're gonna laugh at it later.
1181
00:55:28,450 --> 00:55:30,201
- Let's-- let's...
- You're gonna wake up
in the middle of the night...
1182
00:55:30,285 --> 00:55:32,704
- Let's go.
-...and be like,
"That was funny."
1183
00:55:32,787 --> 00:55:33,872
To the birthday boy.
1184
00:55:33,955 --> 00:55:36,458
♪ (QUIET PIANO MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
1185
00:55:36,541 --> 00:55:38,418
Hey, you wanna go
someplace else?
1186
00:55:38,501 --> 00:55:40,211
Like out, out? Now?
1187
00:55:42,881 --> 00:55:44,007
No thanks, honey.
1188
00:55:48,511 --> 00:55:49,929
I might be up for a while.
1189
00:55:54,642 --> 00:55:57,020
Hey, Dad. I nailed him.
1190
00:55:57,103 --> 00:55:59,105
I am the only child
you'll ever need.
1191
00:55:59,189 --> 00:56:01,775
You can kill the others.
Love you.
1192
00:56:01,858 --> 00:56:04,319
Hey, you can piss off.
I'm gonna walk home.
1193
00:56:09,783 --> 00:56:13,661
♪ (SOMBER MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
1194
00:56:22,253 --> 00:56:23,338
Hey.
1195
00:56:30,220 --> 00:56:31,971
I think the party's over, yeah?
1196
00:56:32,680 --> 00:56:35,975
Yeah. Just a party.
1197
00:56:37,268 --> 00:56:40,230
Let it fizzle. Come.
1198
00:56:57,372 --> 00:57:01,251
♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
1199
00:58:25,710 --> 00:58:27,754
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
89534
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