All language subtitles for Greys.Anatomy.S19E13.Cowgirls.Dont.Cry.720p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb

I feel like I'll say
the wrong thing.

You really can't.

There are
no wrong answers here.

Okay.

His kindness.

He's very kind.

Something you love
and appreciate about Maggie?

Yeah.

I guess I am--

well, I love--I love
that she's here this morning,

because that means
that she's finally admitting

that we need help communicating.

So...

And I--

I appreciate
how hard Maggie works.

How is that a bad thing?

How is what I said bad?

Every life on the planet
begins as a single cell,

which splits and multiplies
over and over again.

Each cell has a purpose.

Okay, the kids
are dressed and ready,

and you're... still not up.

I can't.
I feel awful.

Can you take Luna to day care
for me so that I can sleep?

- Yeah.
- Thank you.

And as it forms, internal
and external forces

converge on it.

I know what you're doing.

What, trying to spend
a little more time

with my wife?

Now, you're gonna
have to go home

and then come back
at the end of the day.

Yeah, well, I got
the day off, so I got time.

Two extra trips,
more carbon footprint,

killing the planet--
think of our children.

You see?

They've extended
the security perimeter,

perfectly safe.

Signaling to the cell
what it will become.

We call this process differentiation.

Thanks for the ride.

- Love you.
- It'll be fine.

An arm, a bone, a brain...

Hi, good morning.

Perfectly safe.

All cells take a journey

from generalized
to specialized.

Sorry, sorry.
I know I'm a little late.

I have roommates,
tandem parking.

Anyway, I am here
for my plasma donation.

We don't call it a donation
when you're taking $75 for it.

Fair point.

They go
from nothing to something--

You're three pounds underweight.

Can't give plasma today.

Not possible.

I do this every two months.
Check your records.

Check the scale.

Come back when you qualify.

Or what you could be
to what you are.

- Hey.
- Good morning.

Do you want to meet up
if you have a break,

on-call room on four?

Sounds fun.

Might take me
a while to get there.

I'm in Phoenix.

Why?

Because that's
where my next job is.

I finished my gig in Seattle.
- What?

You never said anything.

I was with you two days ago.

Well, you always seem
more interested

in the on-call room on four
than actually talking.

I--

I got to go.

Let me know
if you're ever in Phoenix.

I mean, I'd just
as soon elope,

but Trey and his family--
super into tradition.

When he asked his brother
to be his best man, he cried.

My sister and I
hardly speak, and--

She's trying to say that
she needs a maid of honor.

Oh, I like you so much,
but I would be bad at that job.

Hey, what the hell?

You left me again.
- Be on time.

You know, if
your silver-spoon, nepotism ass

isn't in the seat
by 7:00, you are out of luck.

Tough, punctual, efficient--
there's your maid of honor.

- What?
- Forget it.

But you said 6:45.

Yes, because
we gave you a fake time

that's 15 minutes before we're
actually planning to leave.

And yet,
you still can't make it.

Well, you could
have woken me up.

Does anybody have my back here?

No.

Oh, okay.
Yes, I understand.

And I appreciate it, but--

Okay.
Thank you.

Busy morning?

How come no one ever mentions
that part of the chief job

is actually being a reference
for other institutions

who are looking
to poach your surgeons?

Not following.

Harvard Med, NYU,
Heart Center of Chicago,

they're all on my call list

because they are interested
in Pierce.

How long
has she been working here?

Maybe there is something
in her contract

that prohibits her
from leaving.

- Leaving? Maggie?
- Yeah.

That article has given her
a lot of attention.

Look, I don't wanna hold anyone
back, but we just lost Grey.

I mean, how do we get
Pierce to stay?

Yeah, I'm on it.

Oh, great. Thanks.

I'm sorry--yeah, hi.

This is she.

So cough and sniffles,
bed six.

Nothing like half a decade
of medical training

to use on a runny nose.

You know, I had a patient
who had sniffles.

Turned out he had
a CSF leak in his brain, so--

Uh, oh, complex
trauma case transferred

from a rural hospital.

Kwan, you wanna see
the helipad?

- Oh, yeah.
- Just Kwan or--

Adams, code phlegm.

Bed five needs a Neti pot.

Thank God you're here.

Ma'am, please try
to keep your mask on.

Agh, help!

I need a doctor.

- Move.
- I saw him first.

- Nope.
- No--

Hey, hey.

Have you been injured?

Okay, rodeo wreck--
rider in Oregon

got bucked off and stomped on
by a 1,000-pound bull.

It's barbaric--bull riding.

Nothing but
testosterone addicts

getting off
on torturing animals

because it makes them feel
more like a man.

Huh.
Let's go.

Kay, what do we got?

Georgia Arkins, 16.
Crush injuries

from being trampled by a bull.

GCS 15, CT scan shows
a retrohepatic hematoma

from an IVC tear,

multiple lumbar
burst fractures.

Vital signs are stable.

She's been given
sedatives for transfer,

so she's a little out of it.

Local hospital didn't feel
equipped to handle

her complex injuries.
- Thank you.

Can I go again?

The bull, can I go again?

I only got to 5 seconds.

So anything you want to add

to your initial assessment,
Kwan?

Look up for me.

He's exaggerating.

Ever since the interview,
she's received

half a dozen amazing offers,

including a position in
bioartificial heart research.

So we inject
an extracellular matrix

of a pig's heart, which serves
as, like, scaffolding,

with human stem cells,
that it can grow

cardiac muscle tissue.

And then we electrically
stimulate them to twitch,

cell by cell, until they start
to beat together,

essentially as
one beating heart.

It's beautiful.

Yeah, which means more hearts

for people who need them.

The research is
at the Heart Center of Chicago.

Oh.
Well, that's a fantastic city.

Yes, it is!

It's the Art Institute
and Steppenwolf,

deep dish pizza.

You can keep
those winters, though,

with the wind just ripping in
off the lake like that.

That's what parkas
and mittens are for.

And it's weak pizza, really.

It's just quantity
over quality.

So are you considering it?

Well, I might like to, but--

Look, I've already moved
across the country

for you once.

And then, when I tried
to change my specialty,

also for you, you lost
all respect for me.

So--

Please don't put words
into my mouth.

Those are your words.

You put those words
in your own mouth.

I have to go.

- You have to go now?
- Can we pick this up?

God's sake, Maggie,
I have waited weeks,

weeks of just tiptoeing around,

going along with this ceasefire
that you proposed

until we could get in here
and try to fix this.

And now you're on the hot seat,
so you just want to walk out?

You know, no, I'm not even
that surprised by this.

I'm on trauma call, Winston.

Please excuse me.

Hey, what are you doing here?

The kids okay?

Everyone's fine, except you.

You're not fine.

And you're also not sick.

I am sick.
What are you doing here?

I took the kids to day care,
and I took a personal day,

because your body does this.

My body does what?

It aches so that you'll rest
because it's learned

that if it aches,
you'll stay in bed,

when nothing else works
to keep you in bed.

You need a day off,
but you're not sick,

which is why you get a latte

and...

The little doughnuts
with the pink frosting.

You took the day off?

Yeah, I figured
you could use the company.

Plus, after I eat three boxes
of these, I'm no good at work.

You ate three boxes?

No, but I'm about to.

You might want to look away.

I'm just gonna go.

No.

- Ow!
- Any feeling of nausea?

Ah, not really.

Is there anything
you can do about the pain?

It feels like someone's
dicing my intestines.

We'll take care of that
for you in a moment.

But I need to finish
this physical exam

before we can--
- Look, I came here

because Grey-Sloan's supposed
to be the best.

So please, you gotta help me.

It could be
a positive McBurney sign.

Which could be caused by...

- Appendicitis.
- Diverticulitis.

Yo!
What the hell?

I was seeing if the pain
was exacerbated

by jostling movements.

Can we wait to play school

until I'm not in agony?

Let's get him comfortable.

We'll send him up
for the basic labs,

and then let's take him up
to CT for some scans.

Did I hear correctly, a bull?

T-bird.
He's feisty.

I just didn't get out
over his front end in time.

When T-bird trampled
over Georgia,

he crushed her liver
and likely tore her IVC.

There's a big hematoma
in the retrohepatic space,

which it looks contained
for now, stable HNH.

She's got unstable T10
through L3 burst fractures.

Please don't tell my parents.

They freak out whenever
stuff like this happens.

This has happened before?

I had a huge cut on my back,
a broken wrist, a broken leg.

Oh, and I have
this massive scar.

- Whoa, whoa!
- Push two of midazolam.

Okay, this burst L3 fracture
is too unstable.

Without immediate surgery,
we're talking about paralysis.

Once Maggie goes in
and repairs the IVC,

I will stabilize the spine.

I don't think I should go in.

There's a massive hematoma.

And it's sitting
in a minefield.

The hematoma is stable for now.

But you should go in
and repair the spine,

and I will be there
to monitor her.

Just use a posterior approach
to avoid rupturing it.

What if it happens anyway?

Then we'll flip her,

and I will control
the bleeding.

No, I'm not sure
I should go in.

If you don't,
she never walks again.

Are Georgia's parents here?

Look.
All I need is antibiotics.

It'll clear up
in a few days or so.

Maybe.

But I am hearing
some wheezing in the left lung.

Okay.

We should get a chest X-ray,
make sure

we're not looking at pneumonia.

No.
No chest X-ray.

There's no
discomfort involved.

Until the bill comes.

When my husband died,
I was lucky enough

to find work in a bookstore.

It's lovely.

The owner is kind,
but low wages and no--

No benefits.

Without the X-ray,
I can't tell

how serious this is, so--

I can hardly afford antibiotics.

Anything else
is out of the question.

Look, I'll get you
the antibiotics,

but just stay here.

Okay?
I'll be right back.

Dr. Sutton, Dr. Tracy,

psych to recovery.

Dr. Sutton to recovery.

He didn't even tell me
he was leaving.

He insinuated
that I wouldn't care

because I only cared
about the sex.

I didn't use him for sex.

He used me for sex,
and then he left.

I'm the victim here.

You're the doctor.
He's the nurse.

You've got all the power.

You clearly don't understand
gay male culture.

He's hotter.

He has all the power.

Doesn't sound
like he felt that way.

Why aren't you sad for me?

I'm the nice guy
who, once again, got left.

Well, the interns
who have come in here

after working and being
yelled at for 16 hours

definitely don't feel
like you're the nice guy.

I don't yell!

That wasn't yelling.

That was loud talking.

I'm nice.

I love you.
I mean it.

If the hematoma ruptures
while you're fixing the spine,

she could die.

But if it doesn't rupture,

it could heal on its own?
- That's right.

The safest option is to just
monitor Georgia in the ICU.

She may not walk again,
but she would be alive.

Sounds like this thing
could rupture any time.

I mean, hell, it could be
rupturing right now.

Cody...
She...

He's not wrong.

Do the spinal surgery.

Sir, I wanna make sure
that you understand--

We do.

Save our daughter's ability
to ride.

No stranding,
appendix looks normal.

No evidence of colitis.

That's an awfully quick
assessment, Adams.

You know, scans are
like a piece of art,

a still life, say.

Maybe you first look
at it and you shrug.

Looks like a pear, or tulip.

But you sit with it
for a while,

learn to open up your mind,

and maybe it might guide
your eye

to something that the artist
wants you to see.

Hold up.

It turns out Seth's been
to five different Seattle ERs

in the past three weeks,

all discharged with a script
for controlled pain meds.

Seattle Pres,
two nights, Pacific Gen, one,

St. Anne's, two hours.
- Okay.

I get what you're implying.

And according
to their records,

you have a history of drug use

that you didn't bother
to tell us about.

We can't help you if you're
not telling the truth.

Oh, my God.
I--I don't have--

Back in the day,
I did Adderall to stay up.

I'm a private equity analyst.

All-nighters go
with the territory

when you're starting out.

But I haven't done it in years.

And I didn't tell you
because I didn't want you

to write me off like
all those other hospitals.

We're not writing you off.

Addiction is a disease.

It's a disease I don't have.

And your scans are clean.

And I got on the phone
with colleagues

of those other hospitals,

who also found nothing
on your scans.

Maybe they didn't sit
long enough with the scans.

These aren't interns, Adams.

These are world-class surgeons

with decades of experience.

So you're just gonna
kick me out on the street

like everyone else?

No, we are gonna exercise
our due diligence

and take extra tests,

and if they show nothing,
then we will discharge you

with a referral
to an addiction specialist.

I should never have admitted
I ever used drugs.

You screw up once,
you're a screw-up forever.

She's about
prepped and ready.

Why didn't you tell me
about all the job offers?

Offers come in
every time I publish.

Happens to everyone.
- Not like this.

Look, it doesn't matter
where you are, right?

I mean, it matters
what you're doing.

If you just ask
Teddy or Richard

for whatever you need
research-wise,

they will get it for you.

You don't have to move
to do your next big thing.

Meredith and I managed
to pull off

the Parkinson's procedure
right down the hall.

She's ready.

All right.

So when you all told me
about those 8:30

surgical study sessions,
what time were they really?

What do you think

about Chilaiditi syndrome
for Seth?

Thinking it's
usually associated

with ascitic
and cirrhotic patients.

Also, we would have
seen it in the scans.

And we have our answer.

All those tests came back
clean, except his urinalysis,

which is positive for opiates.

Because all those other
hospitals gave him meds.

Webber said to discharge him.

I'm gonna discharge him.

Tessa Hobbes.

Why would you bring up Tessa?
You know that still hurts.

Because my gut told me
that we should have taken her

straight to the OR.

You heard me say it,
but I didn't fight for it.

And now my gut's saying
that Seth's telling the truth.

Nothing I've seen makes me
think Webber's wrong.

Yeah, but do you think
there might be

a chance that I'm right?

I mean, I've always
had your back.

Could you at least have mine?

I'm already
on my second residency.

He's not gonna fire us.

Have suction ready.

Blood pressure's steady.

Chief, I have a wheezing
60-year-old patient in the ER,

possible pneumonia.

She needs a chest X-ray
and a nebulizer treatment,

but can't afford it.
Can we do it pro bono?

You'll have to fill out
the forms with accounting.

They're gonna want
to confirm her income

and make sure
that she qualifies.

It may take a day or so.

But she needs
to be treated now.

If we break the rules
for one patient,

it's not fair for the others.

I was eating doughnuts
from the trash

because I need to gain weight
in order to be eligible

to donate my plasma because
I am broke.

So is my patient.

I don't need your help,

and I am not looking
for handouts.

I just want to take care
of my patient.

I'm sorry.

You have to go
through the proper channels.

Yasuda, I have
protein bars in my office.

You're welcome
to them any time.

Removing the lamina.

Can't stop thinking
about that father.

I'm reconstructing a spine just
to have her go back out there

and wreck it all over again.

Yeah, lots of parents

live out their fantasies
through their kids.

So her last shock panel
showed a hemoglobin of 11.

So the bleed is stable.

Just be careful
with your instrumentation.

I'm not sure you hovering
is gonna make things

go more smoothly.

How many times have we
fixed up a pro football player

just so he can go back out
in the field in the hopes

of making the playoffs?

Don't get me started
on football.

Except rodeo is the only gig

with a poor animal
out there against their will.

It's cruel.
- Can we keep

all nonessential chatter
to a minimum?

Georgia has a giant bleed
hanging over her

that could burst in any second.

Pedicle screw, please.

I think it's a connection.
I think--

Adams, Griffith!

Is everything okay,
Dr. Schmidt?

Just checking in
on how you two are doing.

How's life?

What's up?

I don't understand.

What are you working on?

Okay, we--we know
Webber said to discharge him.

But we really think

that there's something more
to this patient.

And if we could just have
a little more time

to study his case,
we can figure it out.

Okay.
No.

You're interns.

It doesn't matter
what you think.

If you can't be trusted
to follow instructions,

then you can't be trusted
in the OR.

Discharge the patient.

And never question
Dr. Webber ever again.

I should probably go to work
and check on Tia.

Tia and her baby
are both okay.

I've checked.

A car drove into human beings

and tried to kill you
and your friends.

You've earned a day off.

Why is it so hard
for me to rest?

How am I supposed
to know that?

Because you knew
that I wasn't sick

before I even knew
that I wasn't sick.

I've known you a long time.

You notice things
about somebody

when you've known them
a long time.

You knew what
my favorite doughnuts were.

Same answer.

So why is it
so hard for me to rest?

You don't have a theory?

I could tell you why I think

it's hard for me to rest.

Would that help?

Yes, please.

Well, I was
a pretty happy go-lucky kid.

I got cancer, and my parents
started to fight all the time.

And I was sick, stuck in bed,
listening to my parents fight

through the walls.

So I think I associate rest
with misery.

I don't think that's it.

Okay.

You know me better
than I know me.

I've known you a long time,

and when you've known someone
a long time,

you notice things.

So what do you think it is?

I think you only have
trouble resting

when you're not taking care
of somebody else.

You'll lay around all day
with a baby on your chest

if that baby needs you.

You lay in bed with me
with doughnuts if I need you.

And when you got cancer

and your parents
started fighting,

you started
to take care of them

so they wouldn't split up.

You learned
to take emotional care

of the people who are supposed
to be taking care of you.

And that's why
it's hard for you to rest

when you're by yourself.

You don't feel safe
when you're not

taking care of somebody else.

That makes you anxious.

And I think you can't rest

because you never had
anyone to take care of you.

So you stayed busy all
the time

taking care of yourself.

And when you're still,
you feel that pain.

I need a nap.

Want me to go?

No.

That feels nice.

Harborview Med,
last Tuesday, 2311, nothing.

If Webber or Schmidt
finds us, we're fired.

Yeah, well--

You'd think
that'd be annoying.

It clears my mind,
helps me unwind.

You have anything like that?

Ice skating.

What?

I just--
I wasn't expecting that.

Well, you don't know
everything about me.

True.

I never pictured you
as the type

to have a big fancy wedding
or matching dresses.

I don't want either.

I want the marriage, but not
the pomp and circumstance.

Not even a little pomp,
like meat on a stick

or chucking a bouquet
at your girls, group pics?

I truly hate you.

I think it's sweet
that Trey wants

to create a moment in our lives

that we're gonna remember forever.

But he's a romantic.

Even when we're just out
getting pizza,

he's like, "I wish I could
freeze this moment forever."

Oh, wait. Wait. Wait.

That's it.

Moments--that's...

Okay.

These scans--
they're not works of art.

They're--they're moments.

They're frozen moments in time.

Oh, good.
Glad we cleared that up.

Okay, look.
Here we go.

There and there...

Do you know where they came
up with the eight seconds

as the time the rider
has to stay on the bull?

It's because the bull starts
to lose its strength

to fight back
and they stop bucking.

The official line is that it's
for the safety of the animals,

but it's really because
they become so weakened

that we stop being entertained.

BP's dropping.

Pierce, is that
what I think it is?

She's bleeding out.

The hematoma ruptured.
Stop the fusion.

We need to flip her.
- Her spine is exposed.

It doesn't matter.

Pack it and throw
some ioban on it.

Hang 2 units of blood.

Prep for an x-flap
and a sternotomy.

Every second counts
here, people.

Until we get
this bleed stopped,

this is my OR.

Okay.
This is it.

When we get in there, Kwan,
you're gonna alternate

cardiac massage with Millin.

Scalpel.

Okay, Georgia, here we go.

Scalpel.

♪ I've been looking
for a sign ♪

♪ Now I see a shining light

Get the saw ready.

Starting pressors.

♪ Set me free

Send a TEG.

She's becoming more acidotic.

We can't lose her.

I need more suction.

Still no pulse.

♪ Head under water
and I can't breathe ♪

♪ Pull me up
'cause I'm too deep ♪

♪ I've been looking
for a sign ♪

♪ Now I see a shining light

♪ Oh won't somebody
come and set me free ♪

Okay, I've got
the infrahepatic IVC

and Pringle.
Lap pads.

I've got the cava
and the pericardium.

Millin, switch with Kwan.

We've maxed out
on her pressors.

- Pickups?
- Still no pulse.

I feel the heart.
I'm there.

I see
the hepatic vein injury.

Ligating, push epi.

Packing
the retrohepatic space.

Come on, Georgia.

♪ Set me free

The nurse
brought the antibiotics

and the inhaler.
I'm off to my shift.

Please don't go
before getting an X-ray

and the nebulizer treatment.

We could do it pro bono,

but we just need
to fill these forms out.

If I miss work,
I don't get paid.

And if I don't get paid--

You can't pay your bills.
I get it.

- No--
- But--

No, you don't.

You're a doctor
with a cushy salary.

Well, I am a surgical intern.

My salary is government funded,
and it is not enough

to keep me from drowning
in loans.

Between undergrad
and med school,

I owe more
than two grand a month.

That doesn't even account
for what I send to my parents

to help them
with their mortgage payment

because they co-signed
all of my loans.

I literally sell my blood
in order to get by.

And if I thought that I had
pneumonia that could lead

to sepsis
and respiratory failure

that could prove fatal
if left untreated,

or, at the very least,

keep me out of work
for eight weeks,

I would get the X-ray
and the treatment.

And when the bill came,
I would pay the bare minimum.

And if it went
to the collection agencies,

I would pay them
the bare minimum too.

And it might be
a huge, long, pain in the ass,

but I would be alive.

Where do I go
for the chest X-ray?

Pick it up, guys,
a little faster.

You know what they called me
when I was chief resident?

The Nazi.

That is wildly inappropriate...

- Yes.
- On so many levels.

I mean, I wasn't
a tough child,

not in the obvious ways.

I was sensitive
all through high school

and undergrad and med school.

So as a resident,
even more so as chief resident,

I thought I had
to overcompensate.

And for a while,
I became someone

people didn't like very much.

And what did you do?

Well, I realized
that my idea of myself

had come out of sync
with who I had become.

Schmidt, you are
chief resident now.

You are no longer an underdog.

It's time for you to stop
seeing yourself that way.

You're saying
I shouldn't demand

excellence from the interns?

I'm saying there's
many ways to do that.

And the one that will work
best for you

is likely the one
that lets you be you.

I mean, you said you want us
to be the vagina of the program

because vaginas are so strong.

Well, vaginas
also bring pleasure.

They bring joy, bring life.

You got to be the whole vagina,
Schmidt, not just the muscle.

It's like we were staring
at a single cell of film

and trying to watch a movie.

We have to look
at all the scans

in order to see
if they tell a story.

Okay, look--
look here, four to five.

There's a slight thickening
in the cecal wall here.

Yeah?
And then six and seven--

No more thickening,
but mild fat stranding.

Yeah.

And then eight, nine, ten,
the pattern reappears.

The flare-ups come and go,

but the CT scans only capture
one moment in time.

Now our little film
tells a different story.

I mean, there's
gotta be something in there,

a foreign object
causing these reactions.

Like a fish bone, maybe,
or a piece of cartilage

that wasn't digested properly?

You want to tell me
why the patient

I told you to discharge hours
ago is still stuck in my ER?

So she's gonna be okay?

Uh, yeah.

Georgia did well
under the circumstances,

against all odds.

But we would like
to speak with you

about the bull riding.

I should wait for my husband.

We would like to have
a minute with just you.

Oh.

Georgia's father,
her grandfather, her uncles--

they are all champion riders.

But Cody never wanted Georgia
to go near a bull.

Every Christmas,
he would give her

a dollhouse,
ballet slippers, a soccer ball.

She wouldn't touch them.

She wanted boots,
spurs, a saddle.

Cody thought when she
took her first spill,

she'd lose interest, but...

but when she got laid up
with a crushed trachea,

we said no more.

Guess what?
She wouldn't eat,

wouldn't speak, couldn't sleep.

The light in her eyes
was just gone.

To keep doing this
will very likely kill her.

You think I don't worry
about that

every single day of my life?

But to take her dream
away from her--

that would for sure kill her.

Excuse me.

I'm gonna go find my husband.

Nothing is harder
than parenting,

but you have to be the parent.

Would it have worked on you

when you were a teenager doing
hard drugs,

risking your life?

Was your mom able to stop you?

I was using drugs to mask

some very real pain in my life.

Maybe it's
the same for Georgia.

Maybe she's masking the pain
of having found

her one true passion

and hearing everyone around her

tell her that she is selfish
for chasing it.

Oh, no, no, no, no.
Georgia, no.

She's pulling the tube out.

Increase her O2
and draw an ABG.

Hey.

Georgia, you're okay.
Just take a breath.

Georgia, calm down.
I need you to put this mask on.

Your body needs
additional oxygen.

I've had kids
self-extubate before.

Instinct and adrenaline
kick in.

How long--
how long will it take?

You will be up and walking
in four to six weeks.

Ride.

Georgia, going back
to rodeo would be a mistake.

Most people do not survive
the surgery

that Dr. Pierce just did.

I'm not most people!

Would you be saying
the same thing if I was a guy?

Georgia, I'm not
like most people either.

I was really good at something
when I was your age too.

I skipped grades,
I won prizes,

and everybody thought it was
my parents

that were pushing me,
but it was me.

It was all me.

So I get your focus.

I get your passion.

And I certainly get
what it's like to be

a girl in an all-guys' world.

Maybe you'll ride
again someday.

But a few hours ago, you were
almost dead and paralyzed.

Stop fighting us and let us
save the possibility

of your future.

There's the ileocecal valve.

I hope we didn't
just put a tube

into a patient for no reason.

Whoa, whoa, what's that
in the distal ileum?

Move the camera
down and left.

- There!
- Is that a--

Toothpick.
I'll be damned.

Oh, my God.

How did it not shred
his esophagus on the way down?

Well, it perfed the bowel.

Then it impacted
into the intestinal wall,

where it hid
from the scanner's radar.

Adams, what's the game plan?

Use the endoscopy forceps
to fish it out carefully.

Being careful not to break it
and leave a piece behind

that could cause
an abscess later.

All right, hold it steady.

Will this take away
all of this pain?

It absolutely will.

Almost there.

Incredible save, Adams.

Incredible save.

Have I mentioned
that I had my hand

on an actual beating heart?

Only about six times.

But hey, I heard you found
a bobby pin in some guy's ass

or something, so also cool.

I convinced a patient
to get a chest X-ray.

Hey, congratulations, Adams.

Yasuda's day was
sadder than yours.

Yeah.

Hey, thanks
for everything today.

If you need anything,
I got your back.

I do need something.

I know this might be weird,

and if it's still hard
for you, you can say no.

But you know me
better than anyone here,

better than anyone
at my old program, actually.

And I could really use a friend
to help me get through this.

I'm asking you
to be my man of honor.

Yeah, of course.

It'd be an honor.

Thank you.

Hey, everyone,

I want you to know
I heard you all did

some incredible work today.

And so, if you're up for it,
I would like to invite

you all out for drinks.

I'm actually serious.

- Uh, oh.
- So just, you know,

meet me at Joe's.

- Free drinks.
- Yeah.

Any chance you need
another bartender?

When would you sleep?

I'd figure it out.

Uh, yeah, yeah.

The manager is hiring
for the late shift.

I can put in a good word.

Thank you.

Okay, people,
this is my treat.

Thank God.

- Yay, thank you.
- You're welcome.

Thank you.

Thanks, Dr. Schmidt.

- Cheers.
- Yeah.

Welcome.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

- Mm.
- Oh.

Oh.

- Chaser?
- Mm-hmm.

What are you,
her babysitter?

Man of honor, actually.

Oh, thank God.

I didn't wanna have to carry
around those blood vials.

You mix them together,

and you pour them out
at the altar.

Why do you think
a maid of honor does that?

My mom did it
at my uncle's wedding.

I cannot overstate
how not normal that is.

Whatever.
I'm going to order food.

Anyone else?

Can you get me some fries?

I'm starving.

- So when's the wedding?
- Next month.

But it's in town
so no one has to travel.

And I don't need
any extra time off.

Trey is gonna take care
of most of the logistics,

so you won't--
- Griffin, I--

I was just asking.

- Sorry, yeah.
- That's okay.

- Next month.
- Okay.

Wanna get out of here?

I can't.

We said no feelings,
and unfortunately,

I find your staunch support
of animal rights...

hot.

Okay.

What if I have no feelings?

That works.

You wanna pick up takeout?

I kind of feel like Italian.

I already ordered,
Chang's Garden.

Right, of course you decided.

Stop.
I need to look at you

when I say this.

Okay.

You invited me to dinner
with your family,

and then you abandoned me
when things got tough.

What?
When?

The first time
that I met your family,

your father showed up,
and you became unhappy,

and then you logged off,
and you left me there.

My mother always used
to quote Maya Angelou.

She used to say, "When someone
shows you who they are,

believe them the first time."

Why didn't I believe you
the first time?

You showed me who you were,

and I just didn't wanna see it.

- And who am I?
- You're a person who retreats.

When the going gets
tough, you retreat.

You quit.
You disappear.

You protect yourself, no matter
what it costs anybody else.

You're the one thinking
of taking a job in Chicago.

A job in Chicago
is nothing, Winston.

Marriages can easily survive
a job in Chicago.

But you don't seem
to want us to survive.

You just seem to want to punish
me with your absence.

- I'm right here!
- But you're not.

You're not.

You took your love,
and you retreated.

You disappeared
inside yourself.

When the going got tough,
you protected yourself,

no matter what it cost
anybody else.

I am right here.

You are gone.

You couldn't even think
of something nice to say

about me this morning.

Even when you wanted
to quit cardio,

supposedly
to save our marriage,

that was you quitting.

That was you retreating.

That was you giving up
your gift

so that you could avoid
direct conflict,

and that is what
I don't respect.

It isn't your heart, Winston,
it's your cowardice.

Oh, wow, really, Maggie?

And the pizza in Chicago
is the best in the world.

So I'm gonna go there.

And I'm gonna take
my extraordinary passion,

and I'm going to use it
to build hearts

that will save thousands
of lives.

And you can stay here,
and you can pretend

like it was you
who was abandoned,

but we both know the truth.

At a cellular level, we are
made of forks in the road.

A generalized cell is born,
and it splits and splits,

not having much choice
in the matter.

Eventually, it's a body.

Eventually, it's you...

- Come here, Scout.
- Out in the world.

He was down.

How are you feeling?

I...

I feel--

Better?

♪ If we survive

Yes, better.

I feel better.

Hear that, Scout?

She feels better.
Whoo-hoo!

So maybe you are
who you are.

All right,
can you say whoo-hoo?

Maybe you can't choose
who you love or what you want

any more
than a cell can choose to be

a liver, a lung, a heart.

But cells only take you
so far.

Rough day?

Oh, thank you.

Oh, it was humbling.

I missed a diagnosis
and almost lost a patient.

But?

I was bailed out
by a Shepherd.

- Hmm.
- You?

I'm afraid I might be losing
another sister.

In the end,
you create yourself.

And your life is the life
you've made.

♪ But you hold your breath

♪ If we survive

What the...

Hey!
Hey!

♪ If we survive

Hey!
What the...

Oh, no.
- Ben?

Ben, what's going on?

♪ I'll look for you

Miranda.

♪ On the other side

We are not fine, Miranda.

But no one said
it would be easy.

♪ On the other side