Original subtitles

[Goose honks]

♪

Did you hear any of those rumors\Nabout a list?

Hank: Yeah,\NI'm not making a list.

It's this guy Dickie Pope.

He's a real killer.

Did you write that\Nrecommendation for my daughter?

I will.

Don't write\Nthe recommendation.

I'm going to New York to\Ninterview at the Arlyle School.

Hank: My father's retirement\Nis gonna upset

this very delicate balance\Nthat we've achieved.

He left,\Nand we don't speak.

Hey. I got you--

Oh, thank you.

You're going to do great.

They're going to love you...

...and you're going to get\Nwhat you need

to bring back to the principal,

and he's going to have to\Ntake you seriously.

Yeah.

I know.

Is there something else?

I think I'm worried about you.

Really?

Yeah.

[car approaching]

You've been a bit more...

Hank-like than usual.

[chuckles]

Have I?

Yeah.

I don't know.

I got it, I got it.

Okay.

Okay. Bye.

Bye.

See you in a couple of days.

I have this weird feeling\Nyou're going to end up in jail.

Or the hospital?

[♪♪]

[♪♪]

[geese honking overhead]

[Chandler]\NYou know how they figure out

which one leads?

[student] I don't know.

Seniority?

Experience?

It's hardest to lead

because they get\Nall the wind resistance...

but one goose will always\Nbear the burden.

Each bird,\Nas it flaps its wings,

is creating lift\Nfor their fellow birds,

except for the leader out front,

always hardest on the leader.

What if the leader leads them

into a jet engine?

That does happen.

Often, people die, too,\Nat least,

so it's even.

[♪♪]

[geese honking overhead]

[♪♪]

[knocking on door]

Mr. Devereaux?

I apologize.

He'll be ready\Nin just a few more minutes.

Oh, thank you.

Hank!

I'm President Dickie Pope.

We've met four times.

I remember.

I remember, too.

Please sit down,

if you want.

I'm going to sit down.

So, are you hungry?

Would you like\Nsomething to eat?

Uh, I'll see the menu.

Joke.

Good.

Hank, keep that sense of humor.

It's going to come in handy.

Hank, you are\Nthe only department head

who has not submitted a list\Nof faculty to cut.

In that way, I'm outstanding.

You are outstanding, Professor.

You are\Nan accomplished professor,

and a very well-regarded\Nnovelist.

I have your book...

It's not there.

Yeah, that's been happening.

It's been disappearing\Nfrom the shelves

of private collections\Nall around the country,

only to reappear later\Nin a field,

claiming\Nan extraordinary experience.

Why haven't you\Nsubmitted a list?

No one reason.

Please elaborate.

Can't.

There's no reason\Nthat I can think of.

Granted, I haven't\Ngiven it a thought.

You are missing an opportunity.

This would be the first time.

As you are aware,

it is virtually impossible

to fire a tenured professor\Nfor cause.

[faintly] Yeah.

You are saddled\Nwith your department,

the good and the bad.

These budget cuts\Npresent an opportunity

to remove the ones--

and I'm sure you know\Nwho they are already--

who shouldn't be here.

You will reshape\Nyour department.

Everybody will be better off.

You will bring in\Nnew professors in the future,

ones you have chosen yourself.

Yeah, but\Nhow could we afford that?

Won't much of the money

be going to this\NTechnical Careers Complex?

There seems to be\Na misunderstanding here.

The university\Nis not spending a dime

on the Epstein Center.

Epstein is.

It's a gift.

He paid for the building,

the staff, and maintenance

for 10 years.

He's coming to\Nthe groundbreaking tomorrow...

[Hank, thinking]\NI'll bet the tiny tree business

is hard to break into.

I mean, it's not worth building\Na machine to make 'em.

It's got to be by hand,

or maybe they just, you know,

cut down\Na tiny forest somewhere,

completely ignoring

what must be a sizeable crowd\Nof Smurf protesters.

Yeah.

Look, nothing about

the Jeffrey Epstein\NTechnical Careers Center

looks good.

You're referring to the name.

People are familiar\Nwith the many instances

in which young women\Nwere attacked

by a technical careers center.

Different Jeffrey Epstein.

This one made\Ntwo billion on air fryers.

We're adding a "Q".

Queer fryers?

It will be\Nthe Jeffrey Q. Epstein Center.

What's his middle name?

He doesn't have one.

He's not thrilled with the "Q".

The legislature is cutting\Nour budget by 23%.

Please make a list\Nso we are prepared.

I've gotten this far\Nwithout making a list.

If I were to start now,\NI'd feel like a quitter.

No.

Uh, look, Dickie, um...

you're new around here.

Every year,\Nthose geniuses in Harrisburg,

they threaten cuts,

and every year, they don't,

because, as we've established,

they don't like\Nnot looking good.

This year is different.

Because of how time works?

They likely will give us\Nwhat we ask for...

but I'm not asking for it.

All my predecessors

have begged year after year\Nfor more money.

I'm not going to do that.

I'm lobbying for less money.

The school's too fat.

[♪♪]

[♪♪]

[Hank] Shut the door, please.

I talked to Dickie Pope.

What? When?

Earlier today.

He called me into his office.

He wanted to talk to me.

To talk about the cuts?

And you went?

Did you give him a list?

Do you think\NI would make a list?

Tell me you didn't give him\Na list.

If I told you\NI didn't give him a list,

would you believe me?

No.

Then I'm not telling you.

You went to see Dickie Pope\Nwithout talking to us first?

It wouldn't have\Nmade a difference, Paul.

Wouldn't have made\Na difference?

Screw you!

We could have had\Na strategy session,

brought Leslie in.

Whew! I missed out\Non a strategy session

with Leslie.

You see us out there, right?

You see that we think\Nwe can have a voice in this,

that we need to.

You're the one without a voice.

You just decided\Nit doesn't matter what we think.

[ "I Just Got The News"\Nby The Gentrys playing]

[Paul's voice fading out]\NYou see, that's the exact reason

collective action fails...

[music track drowning out Paul]

...because when you undermine\Nthe union,

you're undermining all of us!

♪ What am I gonna do?

♪ No matter what I do

♪ But I've done\Neverything I can... ♪

[car horns honking,\Ncity traffic roaring]

[♪♪]

Lily!

Tom.

Hi!

Are you kidding me?

Who are you?

Well, hi.

[chuckling]

- Great to see you.\N- You too.

So the students\Ndon't have any textbooks?

No, it's all digital.

They have access\Nto whatever they need on them

at any time.

It means more personal\Nconnections between students,

and between teachers\Nand students.

Dina!

Way to crush it\Nat the regionals.

Excellent work.

Regional physics challenge.

She is amazing.

The kids look too happy.

Yeah, I know,\Nit takes some getting used to,

but trust me,\Nthis is not all for show.

Every choice we make

has been backed\Nby lots of research.

What?

No, I'm just...

I'm just trying to square\Nthis new Tom

with the one\Nwho, um, quit his job

by telling his boss\Nto get cancer.

Ah.

That was a long time ago.

Plus, I heard\Nhe actually did die of cancer...

Oh!

...so I have to be\Nvery careful with my power.

No... [laughing]

This administration\Nis crazy supportive,

they're open-minded.

You're going to be walking into\Na very smoothly-run ecosystem--

If...\NIf I get this job.

Sure, "if", "if".

I mean, no pressure,

but you'd better\Nnail this interview.

Do you have any idea\Nhow many hand jobs I had to give

to get you this meeting?

Three.

Eight.

They were all on myself,\Nto set the mood,

but still, I am exhausted.

I should take a video\Nof myself right here

and send it to my principal.

Guy would crap his pants.

Yeah?

You ready\Nto burn that bridge?

Oh, I'm ready for him\Nto give me everything I want.

What do you mean?\NWhat do you want?

Well, it's just, you know,\Nif I stayed in Railton,

this interview could give me\Nsome leverage.

Leverage?

Well, don't you want this job?

Oh, well, yeah.

I mean, yeah, but, um...

I mean, if I'm honest,

a move would be\Nreally hard for me right now.

Well, oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

- Lily!\N- I'm sorry, Tom.

I didn't think--

If I had I seen you here\Nand how much you obviously care,

then I wouldn't have--

- [exhaling]\N- Do you want me to go?

You could say\Nthat I got sick or died,

or got...

kidnapped by big city rats.

You can't bail now!

If you do,\NI'll look like an idiot.

Just go in there and be great.

Well, no, no, don't be great.

Just be... medium great.

[whimpers]

Can you be medium?

Okay.

[grunting]

I know that you care about\Nthose professors,

despite the fact\Nthat you would never admit that,

but you complain\Nabout these people all the time,

about their incompetence,

and in the end,

don't you have to think\Nabout the students?

That's not the point.

Oh, I'm having a hard time

figuring out\Nwhat the point is lately.

I have this weird feeling \Nyou're going to end up in jail.

Or the hospital?

[Tony] In the hospital?

Or jail.

I think\Nthey're very different places.

Yeah, so,\Nwhat's the common thread?

I don't know, uh...

Trouble?

Loss of control?

Yeah, that's not insight.

All right.

Let me think.\NYou punch.

All right,\Nlet's draw on philosophy.

Let's articulate the question.

Yeah.\NWhy is Lily upset with me?

Well, I can't solve that\Nwith philosophy.

Here's something we can tackle,

what's a good and moral way

for you to handle\Nyour current work crisis?

How should you act?

Do nothing.

No, you act\Naccording to your desire,

unless you're a Buddhist,

then you should desire nothing.

That eliminates suffering.

See, that's my problem\Nwith Buddhism.

Suffering,

that's my sweet spot, right?

At least I know I'm alive,\NI'm feeling something.

Huh.

Maybe Lily wants you to feel\Nsomething more than suffering.

Why would she want that?

I don't know, you tell me.

One word per punch.\NLet it out.

Because!

It's!

Boring!

Because...

she's bored with me.

Finny.

Chopping block.

He teaches the fewest students\Nto the lowest result.

High attrition rate, too.

Gracie.

Chopping block.

She's a headache.

Constantly filing grievances.

Granted, she's correct,\Nbut still.

Emma?

What she does\Nisn't even English.

Chopping block.

Rourke.

High self-regard,\Nno good reason.

Chopping block.

The couple,\Nwhat are their names?

Their names are "chopping"\Nand "block".

Henry Devereaux Jr.?

Chopping block.

Top of the list.

Is everyone on the list?

You forgot about Billie.

Okay, Billie Quigley--

Chopping block.

I know this is rushed,

but today's groundbreaking\Nof the Epstein Center

is giving us\Na great opportunity.

Now, the key thing\Nto any organized protest

is that we're unified\Nin purpose and action.

And what is\Nour purpose exactly?

What are our central aims

if we had to itemize them?

Yeah, it's just important that\Nwe get our message out, right?

It's not about\Nhogging the spotlight.

It kind of is\Nabout hogging the spotlight.

To get on the news

and tell Harrisburg\Nthat we mean business,

that we won't tolerate\Ncutting jobs.

Right, but Dickie Pope\Ndoesn't need to know

exactly who we are, right?

I heard he's a vindictive man.

Would you two stop it?

Paul's right.

We need to stay\Nfocused on jobs.

There will be press there.

Our message, we hope,\Nwill reach Harrisburg.

So you want us all\Nstanding outside in the cold?

It's 70 degrees, Billie.

I've been to most\Nof the departments now,

and, honestly,

a lot of them\Nare looking to you,

the English department.

Oh.

Because of our leadership?

Well, their feeling is,

if... you can unite,

everyone can.

What's that supposed to mean?

You know what it means.

We file more grievances\Nagainst each other

than any other department.

I mean, I've never\Nfiled one against anyone.

Love you guys.

If the rest of the faculty\Nbelieves

that we'll submit to being\Nthe butt of their jokes,

then please tell them\Nto enjoy the protest without us.

Easy, Finny.\NJesus.

[Hank, thinking]\NDoes everybody worry

that they're boring?

I've been so focused

on all the boring people\Naround me,

I forgot to check myself.

Okay, let's see.

Do I have any new thoughts?

Uh-oh.

[Lily's voicemail] Hi there!\NYou've got Lily's phone.

Leave me a message. Bye!

[voicemail beeps]

Hey, babe.

I know you're working\Nright now.

I was thinking about\Nthat conversation we had

just before you left, and...

You know what,\Ncall me when you have time.

Bye.

[Tony] Are we really\Ngetting a glimpse

of Jeffrey Epstein?

Now, what kind of font is this?

Helvetica sans testicles?

Let's go say hi.

Let's work out

the exact mechanics\Nof the protest.

I think the smartest way\Nto handle this

is to let the ceremony\Nplay out in full,

and then we strike\Nfor maximum impact.

She wants to read her poem.

[Leslie] What poem?

"What poem?"\NWhich poem.

The one I was asked to write\Nand recite,

titled "Groundbreaking".

You can't read\Nyour stupid poem anymore.

It will look like\Nyou're on their side.

That you would even\Nmention sides

suggests you are not familiar\Nwith my work.

My poetry is for everybody.

It joins us.

It is, perhaps, our best shot

at resolving this conflict\Namicably.

- Professor--\N- Scab.

Not true.

It's not true.

Scab.

No one supports the union\Nmore than I,

but long before these cuts\Nwere even on the table,

I composed this poem\Nat the request of Dean Rose.

I wrote it, I'm proud of it,

and the poem\Ndeserves to be heard.

Okay, look.

The important part,

that will get on the news,

is the shovels\Nbreaking the ground.

That happens at the end,

so we could wait to have\Nthe poem read before we chant.

Oh, I'm not chanting.

[Gracie] Thank you.\NThat's gracious.

I do think the press\Nmay pick up the poem

once they hear it.

[stifling laughter]

Will there be gargoyles\Non the side of building?

I love gargoyles.

You want gargoyles, babe?

I'll get you gargoyles.

I am so thankful\Nfor Jeffrey Queequeg Epstein.

Oh, no, I believe\Nit's Jeffrey Quidditch Epstein.

- Is it?\N- Yeah. Quidditch.

It's neither, actually.

What?

There is no "Q".

Yeah, there is.

It's right there on the sign,

- between the "Jeffrey" and the--\N- Fellas,

I'm Jeffrey Epstein.

You're "the" Jeffrey Epstein?

The one and only.

I donated this building.

Oh, that's\Nvery generous of you.

Thank you so much.

Now, this "Q" thing?

It's a crazy story.

Forget about the "Q"--

I'm going to the car.

- Okay, baby.\N- So what happened?

Did they misspell your name?

Because I get that\Nall the time.

No, this "Q" thing,\Nit's a non-issue.

If my parents had just\Ngiven me a middle name,

but they didn't.

All my parents gave me\Nwas brains,

and an insatiable lust\Nfor knowledge

about food technology.

I don't know if you heard,

they changed the tax laws\Nthis year.

I had to find\Na $50 million write-off

out of nowhere.

Been there, yeah.

Mm-hmm.

I'm thinking,\Nlet's keep it simple,

maybe I'll buy a hockey team\Nor something.

So I'm keeping my eyes\Non the worst team in the league,

because that's\Nhow you find a deal, right?

And then-- you're not\Ngoing to believe this--

They have a winning season.

They have\Na winning season!

- Yeah.\N- ...a winning season.

Yeah, we're hockey fans.

And back it up a little bit.

I actually have a lot of trouble\Nfinding engineers

to support\Nmy air-fryer business.

It's complicated.

Fast forward again,

I realize what I'll do,

drop the $50 million,

build the Technical\NCareers Center

right on this campus,

which is pretty much\Nin my backyard.

I mean, you can almost\Nsmell my factory from here.

It smells like chicken.

Used to.\NThat's our test kitchen.

We switched to rabbit recently.

Anyway, point being,

I got everything I want.

I'm going to get\Nspecifically-trained engineers

who can come work for me.

I got my tax write-off.

I'm sleeping\Nlike a champion baby.

It's awesome,

and then...

of course,\Nthat jerkface with my name,

the other Jeffrey Epstein,

he starts all that\Nhorrible stuff with girls,

and while all that's going down,

Dickie Pope calls me,

and he goes,\N"Look, in light of everything,

we've got to add a "Q".

Now, this has to stay\Nbetween us, okay?

Okay.

I'm like, "You want a "Q",\Nbest I can do, $40 million,"

and he caves.

He caves right away.

He's like, "Yeah, okay,\Nyeah, sure, whatever."

So this building cost 40 mil?

No, that's the best part.

That's a $50-million building.

Dickie just pulled $10 million

from... wherever,\NI don't know.

What I do know,

I got everything I wanted,

my write-off, my engineers.

Then I had this extra $10 mil\Nto play with.

I go, "Now I can look good--"

So Dickie Pope just pulls\N$10 mil from wherever.

Is it possible\Nhe found another donor?

You know that's not true.

All right, excuse me, I'm sorry.

[Tony] So I'm in the market\Nfor an air fryer.

They're all the same, right?

[Jeffrey] Absolutely not.

[Tony] Generally, generally...

[call ringing]

[Lily's voicemail] Hi there!\NYou've got Lily's phone,

leave me a message. Bye!

[voicemail beeps]

Honey, I know I said\Nyou should call me,

but I just heard something\Nthat's making--

I was hoping\Nyou could talk me down.

You know what?

I will be fine.

Okay, call me when you can.

[exhales]

I thought we agreed\Nyou weren't going to pour it on.

I can't turn it off.

No, you can't.

Thank you, Tom.

Oh.

Do you have to hurry back?

You just got here.

Yeah, but I left\Nsome stuff in Pennsylvania.

Well, look, I'm seeing Ashley\Nlater tonight for drinks.

Ashley!

I didn't realize\Nshe was back in town.

Is Jenny going to be there?

I haven't seen\Nyour wife in ages.

No, it'll just be\Nthe three of us.

I'm getting the band\Nback together.

Stay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That sounds really good.

Okay.\N[clears throat]

You have the phone.

Okay, all right,

and on...

three--

Okay, we're good.

On three, two...

I'm standing on the future site

of the new multi-million-dollar\Ntechnology center

here on the campus of--

Bird-Shit State--

Just cut.\NCut, cut, cut, cut.

Can you get this?

I've seen her\Non the evening news.

Masturbated to her.

I wonder\Nif I can turn a fantasy

into real-world fornication?

I'd wish you luck, but...

- Thank you.\N- ...I feel awful.

All right, so,\Nguys, it's just too noisy.

We gotta lose the ducks.\NCan we lose the ducks?

- Somebody--\N- Geese.

Ducks are the small ones.

Okay, well, can somebody\Njust escort the little bastards

back to the lake?

Pond.

Lakes are the big ones.

Well...

we're here on the campus\Nof Podunk College

speaking with an authority

on every damn thing\Nunder the sun...

[chuckling]

...apparently.

[geese honking]

[goose honking]

Back off.

[honking]

Did you--\NDid you get it all?

Well, I said I would,\Nand I will.

I'm a little bit nervous.

[exhales]

- You're going to crush it.\N- Okay.

[whispering]\N"We dipped our palms..."

[Finny] How will we know?

Is Gracie going to cue us?

Is there a particular word\Nshe'll utter,

and then we cue the trumpets\Nand sally forth?

No, no one's sallying.

[Hank, thinking] Professors\Nshould not hold signs.

- They should know better.\N- [goose honking]

I mean, what's the ratio\Nof signs to change?

We're taking billions of signs\Nover time,

and maybe one, once,

convinced someone\Nto change their mind?

The only sign I like\Nis "Men Working in Trees",

because then I know to look up,

see the guy in the tree.

[Paul] Okay, guys, just...

just make sure you make\Na big enough scene

so that the cameras point to us.

If we're not on the news,\Nthen we weren't here.

Dude...

Hmm?

You spelled\N"Humanities" wrong.

What?

I-I was thinking of the Latin.

You were not.

[♪♪]

- [pecking and honking]\N- Back off!

- [honking and hissing]\N- Shoo!

You want to do this? Huh?

- You want to do this?\N- [honking]

[chuckling]\NYeah, you picked the wrong day.

- [goose honking]\N- I've got all afternoon.

[honking and screeching]

That man is chair\Nof the English department.

Back off, Goosey!

Come on,\Nyou want a piece of this?

[goose honking and screeching]

- I'm gonna kick him in the neck!\N- Go film duck guy, go.

[Emma] What's he doing?

Come on, take your shot!

He's mocking us\Nis what he's doing.

[goose honking]

Take some stills.\NGet in there.

[camera shutters clicking]

[goose shrieking]

[cameras clicking]

In this corner,

William Henry Devereaux

of the English department,

Railton College,

and opposite me, a goose!

[crowd laughing]

[goose honking]

We are here at a groundbreaking

for a building\Nthat is being paid for

by cutting faculty!

I heard that\Ndirectly from the mouth

of the reliable, honorable\Nother Jeffrey Epstein.

No!\NNo, I say!

It will not stand!

- [goose honking]\N- I will box

one of Railton's beloved geese!

I will box a goose a day

until I get my budget\Nfully funded!

I'll punch him\Nin the upper neck

and I'll punch him\Nin the lower neck!

The goose is mostly neck.

- That idiot.\N- [Dean Rose, over mic] Okay!

- [Hank] I will box him, and...\N- Over here, please!

Over here, please!

No cutting jobs!

[chanting together]\NNo cutting jobs!

No cutting jobs!

Ladies and gentlemen,

I'd like to...

[chanting] No cutting jobs!

Here, buddy.

Let's get out of here.

- All right.\N- Come on, come on, come on.

I'd like to start\Ntonight's ceremony with a poem

by our very own Gracie Dubois!

[chanting continues]\NNo cutting jobs!

No cutting jobs!\NNo cutting jobs!

Gracie Dubois, everyone.

No cutting jobs!\NNo cutting jobs!

Grace!

No cutting jobs! No--

You're going to love\Nthis place.

She should be here.

I told her to meet us at 5:00.

- Lily!\N- Whoo-hoo!

Aw, yeah!

Oh, my god,\Nit's so good to see you.

Oh, buddy.

So? How'd it go?

Did you get the gig?

They loved her.

Let's go look for apartments\Nright now.

Oh, that sounds so fun.

[Tom] It does sound fun.\NNot going to happen.

We were hoodwinked.

The whole interview was a con.

She leveraged us, Ash.

Leverage for what?

Her cutthroat\Npublic school job.

You scammer!

So you just flash your tits\Nat the old flame,

and he comes running.

I did not flash my tits.

I did not run.

You two never change.

It was just--

You know, it was just business.

I do feel bad, though.

Well, you shouldn't.

Uh, since we seem to be\Ntruth-telling,

I haven't had a drink yet,

but, um, the job wasn't, uh,

how shall we say, really...\Navailable.

What do you mean?

Well, you didn't hear this\Nfrom me,

and I didn't want\Nto bum you out,

but there was\Nthis huge meeting last week

about how they wanted to\Nre-commit to diversity hiring,

and, so...

- Oh.\N- Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, I get that.

I really thought

we were going to have her\Nback in New York,

but, well, that's our Lily,

always playing us.

What? That's not me,\NI don't play people.

Oh, shut up and get me a drink.

[Tom] Yes. Uh, drinks!

Are you thinking of\Ngetting some food, gentlemen?

The drink of the day\Nis a Mikhail Gorbachev.

What's that?

It's a Moscow Mule,\Nserved in a glass... nost.

[scoffs, snorting]

[groans]

Uh, I'll leave you guys to it.

They changed the menu,

without warning.

I didn't come this restaurant.

I came to the one\Nthat has the shrimp I like.

[Hank whispers]\NBait and switch.

I'm ordering off the old menu.

From memory?

I believe death\Nwill come quickly for me.

Uh, change of subject?

Not because I want it to,

but because

most of the deepest\Nexperiences of my life

have been unexpected.

The important thing\Nis we must prepare to transcend.

Did something happen?

My ex got remarried.

That was years ago.

The other one.

We had an implicit promise

that we would get back together

if we were both still single\Nwhen we turned 70.

I had no intention\Nof keeping it.

I hate her, but still.

Pay attention,\NI'm getting somewhere.

You have my attention.

I've decided fornication

may no longer be\Nthe primary goal.

It may, in fact,\Nbe counterproductive.

You have half my attention.

The body deteriorates.

It reminds us that time,

although an illusion,\Nis a robust one.

All we can do is watch.

First go the knees,\Nthen the spleen,

then the rest of the body,\Nthe whole thing,

until we're just\Na ghost in the machine,

then no machine.

Casey Jones without a train.

[Paul] There he is,

the bird boxer.

Quite a prank.

Say thank you.\NLook--

You knew what we were planning.

Said he didn't want\Nany part of it.

I--

Then you go and upstage\Nthe entire thing.

The whole goddamn thing.

Shut up, Billie.

The whole goddamn thing.

In my defense,\Nthe goose was an asshole.

[Paul] In your defense,

it was a pretty big F-U\Nto the administration

for a guy who says\Nhe's not a union man.

Come join us, jackass.

[rapping fingers on tabletop]

[laughing]

No, listen, listen, listen.

So, there wasn't a school system\Nin the country

that wasn't\Ncompletely uprooted by Covid,

but even, you know,

with all the staff turnover\Nand the budget fights,

and all the other crap\Nthat goes along with it,

I've got to say\Nwe fared pretty well.

[Tom] Pretty well?

Top 20 charter school\Nin the city.

Top 15, depending on\Nwhich report you read.

Last week, I cleaned up\Na student's piss

because my janitor\Nfelt it was beneath him.

Gross.

[chuckles]

You know what it is?

This Arlyle job,

it, like,\Ngot my engine running again.

I'm listening to you\Ntalk about your schools

and your careers,

and that's the reason\Nthat we went to grad school

in the first place.

That was always the dream,

and I just... miss it.

Miss it?

I'm sure you talk like this\Nat home all the time, no?

[chuckles ruefully]

Oh, my God.

Do you know

Hank just publicly announced

that all the students\Nand teachers at Railton

should resign themselves\Nto their mediocrity.

- Oh, shit.\N- Oh...

Yeah.

I mean, he was kidding, but...

no, he wasn't.

[laughing and chatting]

Whoa!

Hey!

What's everybody else having?

- [laughing]\N- That's a good one...

- [groaning and bantering]\N- Mean lady...

- Let's do this.\N- There we go.

Uh, here is to Dickie Pope

and the look on his face.

- Oh, wow.\N- [all clinking glasses]

Gracie, your poem, your ode.

You never had a chance\Nto read it.

[Billie] Come on,\Nwe want to hear it.

[all agreeing]\NCome on!

- Go ahead.\N- Yeah!

No, I think the focus\Nis split at the moment.

- No, we wanna hear it.\N- Come on.

Trust us,\Nthis will never happen again,

- so...\N- [laughter]

We're happy to hear it.

Go for it.

[tapping glass]

"We dipped our palms\Nin chalk to

"keep our hands\Nfrom letting go,

and..."

Go on, Gracie.

This is as quiet\Nas the bar's going to get.

No, I--

Yeah, finish the poem.

- Yeah, come on.\N- Finish it.

That's the end.

So read the beginning.

No, that...\NThat was the...

Well, perhaps\Nyou can read it again

now that we know more\Nabout what to expect.

You did end it with an "and".

[♪♪]

[voicemail beeps]

[Hank, voicemail message]\NHey, Lil,

uh, the weirdest thing,

but, well, you don't\Nhave to worry about me.

I boxed this goose.

He was--

Well, he was being a jerk,

and, well,\Nnow the faculty like me?

Um, okay.

I'm sorry I keep missing you.

[voicemail beeps]

[Lily, voicemail message]\NUm...

please don't hurt any animals.

I mean,

I would have said something\Nbefore I left,

but, um, [laughing],

but, um, I thought you knew.

So... okay.

Um, so I'm going to take\Nthe later train.

[voicemail beeps]

[Hank, voicemail message]\NI missed your call again.

Sorry, it's so noisy here.

I'm out having drinks\Nwith the department.

Wish you were here!

Uh... oh, why did you\Nchange your train?

[voicemail beeps]

[Lily, voicemail message]\NHey, my phone was in my bag.

I wish I saw your call.

Not a great idea\Nto have drinks with them.

You don't like them,

so you should go home,

and I will see you there.

[voicemail beeps]

[Hank, voicemail message]\NHey, uh,

why are you\Non a later train, huh?

It doesn't... matter.

It's just...\Ntake whatever train.

It's just, you know,

there's a certain amount\Nof planning that goes into

picking someone up\Nat the train station.

It's just--\NAnyway, that's... that's all.

[♪♪]

[Teddy] Hey, Hank's on TV!

Hey, Meg! Turn it up.

...Railton College,

a fight broke out

of a very unusual kind,

but what started\Nas a silly prank

ended up being\Na serious challenge

to the school brass.

Now we are here

at a groundbreaking\Nfor a building

that has been paid for\Nby cutting faculty!

[all cheering]\NYes! Yes! Yes!

[Hank, on report] ...one of\NRailton's beloved geese...

I will box a goose a day

until I get my budget\Nfully funded!

Come on!

Did I say all that?

I'm texting her now.

- Texting who?\N- Missy.

- Missy who?\N- The journalist.

[cell phone ringing]

[cell phone ringing]

Hey! I was just\Ngoing to call you!

Why are you still there?

I'm having a drink\Nwith Tom and Ashley.

Who? W-What?

I can't hear you.

I am having a drink\Nwith Tom and Ashley,

so, um, I'm going to be\Non a later train.

I'll take a taxi.

[Hank]\NYeah, I'll come get you.

Tell me when the train gets in.

Um, I don't know yet.

[Hank] Okay, well,\Ntext me when you know.

I'll pick you up.

Just... Just tell me\Nwhen you get here.

Lil?\NAre you still there?

Um, yep.

Yeah, yeah, I will text you.

Okay, love you, love you.

Okay, uh, what?

Uh...

The artwork\Nabove the urinals is...

I mean, masterpiece.

I need another one of these.

He still loves bathroom decor.

He just kissed me.

What?

O-okay, hang on,

that was... playing around,\Nthat was not a real kiss.

Tom...

I thought we were flirting.

Yeah, we were flirting,

and then you ruined it.

I was on the phone\Nwith my husband.

Right, I was making a joke.

Who in their right mind\Nwould kiss somebody

that was on the phone\Nwith their husband?

- That was the joke--\N- I'm married, you're married.

Actually...

We're separated.

It's been a few months.\NI was going to tell you.

We tried.

It was a lot of therapy,\Nnot a lot of result.

Well, I'm sorry...

...but I still feel like\Nyou're not hearing me.

I mean, that?

That... [sighs]

...was not okay.

I'm so sorry.

Okay.

This was so wonderful,\Nyou guys--

Oh, Lil...

- -but I'm just\Ngoing to get going, so...

...bye.

[♪♪]

All right.

There you are,

and this one is for Hank.

Tell him it's on me.

After taking away\Nyour classes?

No.

What are you talking about?

It was the administration.

Mm-mm, it was him,

and if tells you\Nthat I asked him to,

I'm telling you\Nthat I was just spouting off.

I didn't think\Nhe'd go through with it.

Who listens to somebody\Nranting at 2:00 a.m.?

[♪♪]

Gracie, um, I've...

I've never been a fan\Nof minimalist poetry,

but I gotta say--

You are not getting\Nyour parking space back.

No, no...

- Good to go?\N- Yeah, let's go.

Oh, hey, Hank, here you go.

- No, no, I'm fine.\N- No?

Yeah, we're done.

Hey, guys,

the conquering hero here

- has to go home.\N- No, no...

No!

- I'm not a hero--\N- [all groaning in protest]

- I'm not a hero.\N- We're done.

- Yeah...\N- We're done here.

We are done.

Yeah, right,\Nwe're done here, we're done.

We're done here!

- No, we're not done.\N- Okay.

You're, uh...

- This is the guy from, uh...\N- Yes.

You think\Nyou're pretty funny, huh?

Professor A-hole.

[Billie laughing]\NProfessor A-hole.

I like that.

Come on, let's--

Geese have feelings, too,\Nall right? Just like us.

Well, they have feelings,\Nbut not like us.

You think that's funny?

Well, it's factual.

It's a little funny,\Ndon't you think?

You know what I think\Nis funny--

Whoa!\NWhoa, hey!

- What's going on?\N- Whoa! [all shouting]

[groaning] That's assault!

You're going to jail!

You're\Ngoing to jail!

No one is going to jail!

[Tony] God is dead,

and we have killed him.

Nietzsche's point

isn't that we should live\Nin despair

of ever finding meaning

just because we've abandoned\Nthe magical dogma

of our particular age.

Nietzsche wasn't a nihilist.

"God is dead,

and we have killed him."

This is not cause for despair,\Nbut celebration,

for we have been liberated\Nby that murder

to do what Nietzsche believed

was the essential task\Nof all our lives...

...to make meaning\Nfrom the world as we find it,

not as we wish it to be.

[voicemail beeps]

[Lily] It just got late,

and so I decided\Nto stay in the city.

Being in New York again,

it feels like\NI'm back in my 20s,

like there was--

there was so much possibility

and surprises, you know.

Anyway, I hope you went home,

like I told you to,

and are curled up\Nin a warm bed,

and have managed\Nto stay out of the hospital.

Ha, ha.

All right, uh, good night.

[ "In The Park"\Nby The Jujus playing]

♪ I... I can see

♪ You and me

♪ Walking hand in hand\Nthrough the park... ♪

I'm gonna keep the clock.

You want it in the house?

I always thought of it as a\Nfriend.

[Grunts]

You didn't mention a department\Ndinner party.

I did not, I wanted you to come\Nover.

[Screams]

I'm being published in The\NAtlantic.

June, is it? Tony.

Hi.

You were flirting with my wife.

Yeah...

Is Hank mad about what happened?

Nothing happened.

[Phone vibrates]

Tom, this isn't a good time.

Hey Julie, it's mom.

She's leaving us.

♪♪

[♪♪]