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1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,790
How are you both?
2
00:00:02,794 --> 00:00:04,464
Great.
Fine.
3
00:00:04,463 --> 00:00:05,423
Good.
4
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,799
Danny blasted porn
on the Bluetooth speaker--
5
00:00:07,799 --> 00:00:10,509
Clare's vibrator literally
melted from overuse.
6
00:00:11,887 --> 00:00:13,347
My life is a mess.
7
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:15,767
My husband kicked me out
a few days ago.
8
00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:18,728
My daughter hates me.
9
00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:20,307
- Oh, my God.
- Mom!
10
00:00:20,312 --> 00:00:21,772
A threesome is a big leap.
11
00:00:21,772 --> 00:00:25,192
Maybe you were subconsciously
worried about our little threesome?
12
00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:27,282
- What?
- Me and you and Dad.
13
00:00:27,277 --> 00:00:28,147
Ew!
14
00:00:30,906 --> 00:00:32,866
What would I tell
15
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:35,736
my 22-year-old self?
16
00:00:35,744 --> 00:00:37,504
Don't take your mom for granted.
17
00:00:37,496 --> 00:00:39,536
She won't be here forever.
18
00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:43,880
What does it mean to heal?
To move on?
19
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:46,087
To let go?
20
00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:51,723
Why can't you make new friends?
Like what happened to Bethany?
21
00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:54,098
Bethany had anal sex
on a Greyhound going to Reno.
22
00:00:54,096 --> 00:00:55,426
- What?
- Yeah.
23
00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:57,890
Why would she want to take
a bus to Reno?
24
00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:03,435
Dear Sugar,
25
00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:06,111
I've never written a fan letter before,
26
00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:09,855
but I read your advice column religiously.
27
00:01:11,238 --> 00:01:14,238
Probably because
given the state of my life,
28
00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:16,241
I could use some advice.
29
00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:43,645
Which house is it again, dear?
30
00:01:47,399 --> 00:01:49,529
- Uh.
- Who can't find their way home?
31
00:01:49,526 --> 00:01:52,106
Oh, that's it.
That's the one, that's right there.
32
00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:55,906
Great job.
33
00:01:55,908 --> 00:01:59,368
You know, thank you so much,
and happy retirement.
34
00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:01,752
Oh, it's locked.
35
00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:04,122
Sorry.
36
00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:05,456
Thank you.
37
00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:07,793
Congratulations.
38
00:02:11,215 --> 00:02:13,375
Ooh, must be the money!
39
00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:14,263
Shhh.
40
00:02:22,518 --> 00:02:23,558
Noo.
41
00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:42,912
Yes!
42
00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:58,676
Must be the money!
It's gotta be the money.
43
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:03,558
Fuck!
44
00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:08,403
- Don't you fucking move!
45
00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:11,359
Wha-- Oh, my God. Danny, it's just me.
46
00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:12,858
Shhh.
47
00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:15,990
Jesus, Clare! Shit, you had me--
I was about to call the cops!
48
00:03:15,988 --> 00:03:17,108
Why?
49
00:03:17,114 --> 00:03:19,324
What are you doing?
What are you wearing?
50
00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:23,624
Oh, I borrowed it.
It was, um... It's Hawaiian-themed.
51
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:27,000
I didn't have my keys, and then I--
52
00:03:26,999 --> 00:03:30,459
The window was-- And it went so... late.
53
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:31,500
You're drunk.
54
00:03:31,503 --> 00:03:34,173
Is there chicken?
'Cause it smells chickeney in here.
55
00:03:34,173 --> 00:03:36,263
Yeah, we had chicken. Six hours ago.
56
00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:38,801
Ugh.
57
00:03:41,597 --> 00:03:43,427
Mmm. Mm.
58
00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:46,560
Aah.
59
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:48,307
Ah.
60
00:03:48,312 --> 00:03:50,062
There were toasts and speeches
61
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:52,693
and, ugh, it's all so tragic, you know?
62
00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:56,991
It's like 43 years of work
just whittled down
63
00:03:56,987 --> 00:04:00,197
to a tray
of bacon-wrapped pineapple skewers
64
00:04:00,199 --> 00:04:03,409
and Retire-Mints. Get it?
65
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:04,620
Mom?
66
00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:09,420
Oh, hey! Frankie, sweetie.
67
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:13,626
- Rae.
- Hey, hon. You wan-- You want some mints?
68
00:04:13,629 --> 00:04:15,549
No. No one wants mints. Ever.
69
00:04:16,715 --> 00:04:18,335
So there's no chicken?
70
00:04:18,342 --> 00:04:19,802
We ate all the fucking chicken, Clare.
71
00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:20,761
Why are you here?
72
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:22,681
Whoa! Okay.
73
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:26,143
Why is everyone being such assholes?
74
00:04:26,141 --> 00:04:27,141
What's going on?
75
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:32,651
Are you... back?
76
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:36,027
Wha-- Huh?
77
00:04:37,861 --> 00:04:41,321
Well, I thought that you weren't
supposed to be here... or something.
78
00:04:46,662 --> 00:04:47,662
Oh.
79
00:04:53,669 --> 00:04:54,999
Why am I eating this?
80
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,549
Because you literally took the wheel
when we drove past--
81
00:04:57,548 --> 00:04:58,718
Well, you shouldn't have let me.
82
00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:00,838
Shouldn't have let me.
83
00:05:00,843 --> 00:05:02,433
You cannot tell Frankie.
84
00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:03,427
It's Rae.
85
00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:05,059
I hate calling her that.
86
00:05:06,557 --> 00:05:09,937
But she's right, though,
because they are horrible to gay people.
87
00:05:11,103 --> 00:05:12,313
Queer people. Sorry.
88
00:05:12,896 --> 00:05:14,686
But it isn't just their homophobia.
89
00:05:14,690 --> 00:05:18,240
It's-- it's-- Really, it's, like,
look here, it's all this crap
90
00:05:18,235 --> 00:05:21,105
that's just gonna
be floating on the planet forever.
91
00:05:21,113 --> 00:05:25,163
You know, wedged into the nostril
of some innocent turtle.
92
00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:28,002
But...
93
00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:29,905
...the butter and the pickles, it's just--
94
00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:31,916
Fucckk!
95
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,880
- And those damn waffle fries.
- Ooh.
96
00:05:36,712 --> 00:05:37,802
So good.
97
00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:41,216
Well, it's what makes it all so hard.
98
00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:45,595
Everything good turns out to be bad.
99
00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:02,195
You're welcome.
100
00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:07,827
You kicked me out.
You want a "thank you"?
101
00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:09,656
You do realize you're not the victim?
102
00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:11,961
Well, neither are you, Danny.
103
00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:13,665
That's great.
Neither are you!
104
00:06:13,665 --> 00:06:16,205
- All right. Absolutely great.
- Yeah, great, great. Thank you!
105
00:06:26,512 --> 00:06:28,352
My life is a mess, Sugar.
106
00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:30,679
My daughter hates me.
107
00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:32,642
My husband kicked me out a few nights ago,
108
00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:36,193
and he thinks
I'm crashing on my best friend's couch,
109
00:06:36,188 --> 00:06:37,938
but I'm not.
110
00:06:37,940 --> 00:06:42,440
I'm sitting on her stoop
waiting for an Uber... Pool.
111
00:06:50,786 --> 00:06:54,036
Wondering how the hell
my life ended up here,
112
00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:57,839
looking for comfort
from a woman I don't even know.
113
00:06:57,835 --> 00:06:59,335
And also wondering,
114
00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:02,256
has anyone ever written in
to offer comfort to you?
115
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:10,005
Then I told my mom,
"Bitch, college is for pussies.
116
00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:12,023
All that money to graduate for what?"
117
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:14,475
I read your response
in this week's column,
118
00:07:14,476 --> 00:07:17,936
and one sentence
buried deep within your advice
119
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:19,938
compelled me to write.
120
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:23,280
It was a sentence
about your sister and her cancer.
121
00:07:26,738 --> 00:07:28,988
I'm sorry
that she died too young and too soon.
122
00:07:30,492 --> 00:07:31,952
Oh, wait. This is good.
123
00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,252
Wait. Stop, stop, stop.
124
00:07:36,665 --> 00:07:37,575
Cool pad.
125
00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:42,174
But that's the thing about grief,
126
00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:45,915
you can't cry it away or eat it away
127
00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:47,384
or punch it away.
128
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:50,545
It's just... there,
129
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,271
and you have to survive it.
130
00:07:53,265 --> 00:07:55,175
You have to endure it.
131
00:07:55,184 --> 00:07:56,644
You have to live with it,
132
00:07:58,145 --> 00:07:59,895
which is the hardest thing in the world.
133
00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:06,775
I was 22 when my mother was diagnosed.
134
00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:10,703
Everyone, ready?
135
00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:12,159
Yes.
Yes.
136
00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:16,254
Clare Marie Pierce
is an award-winning essay writer
137
00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:19,116
and soon-to-be college graduate
with a 4.0,
138
00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:22,844
who is committed to summiting
Machu Picchu over spring break!
- Mexico!
139
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,506
Come on out, Clare!
140
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:31,469
And now, a high school senior
141
00:08:31,470 --> 00:08:33,510
who cannot get a tattoo
until he graduates,
142
00:08:33,514 --> 00:08:35,184
no matter how compelling his argument,
143
00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:38,022
- and who's--
- Is still a virgin!
144
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:39,018
Stop saying that.
145
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,599
Worn the same T-shirt
for four days running
146
00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:43,984
and appears to have
no intention of taking it off!
147
00:08:44,525 --> 00:08:48,395
- Get out here, Lucas!
- Lucas!
148
00:08:51,657 --> 00:08:52,867
Yeah.
149
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,406
Are we ever gonna be too old for this?
150
00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:55,739
We'll be doing this when I'm 80.
151
00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:58,407
Merry Christmas.
152
00:08:59,081 --> 00:09:01,671
And lately,
I keep playing our last Christmas together
153
00:09:01,667 --> 00:09:04,087
over and over in my mind.
154
00:09:05,838 --> 00:09:07,298
Me first.
155
00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:09,087
Me first.
156
00:09:09,925 --> 00:09:11,335
I get to go first.
157
00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:16,013
Ooh.
158
00:09:16,974 --> 00:09:20,444
Oh, no way!
Is it vintage or something?
159
00:09:20,435 --> 00:09:22,015
I knew you wanted one.
160
00:09:22,813 --> 00:09:24,063
It was your father's.
161
00:09:26,441 --> 00:09:27,441
He sent it?
162
00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:30,532
I refurbished it.
163
00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:34,412
- Lucas, don't be a little shit.
164
00:09:34,408 --> 00:09:35,868
Somebody gives you something, you take it.
165
00:09:35,868 --> 00:09:36,868
You take it.
166
00:09:36,869 --> 00:09:38,659
I'm not the one
who's ever wanted anything from him.
167
00:09:38,662 --> 00:09:40,662
It's okay. He doesn't have to.
168
00:09:44,126 --> 00:09:45,996
All right, you go ahead, honey.
169
00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:49,803
Jess said that you needed one.
170
00:09:49,798 --> 00:09:51,798
And I thought
that it would be great for New York.
171
00:10:01,602 --> 00:10:02,602
Do you like it?
172
00:10:03,687 --> 00:10:04,687
Yeah, I love it.
173
00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:08,944
Uh-- I do. I-- I love it.
174
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:10,652
You do? You love it?
175
00:10:11,153 --> 00:10:12,153
Hey.
176
00:10:15,866 --> 00:10:16,866
Uh, it's--
177
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:18,951
It's long
178
00:10:19,578 --> 00:10:22,248
and subs-- substantial.
179
00:10:22,581 --> 00:10:23,581
I thought it was unique.
180
00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:29,670
I just wonder, does it--
181
00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:32,836
Does it make more sense to get black?
182
00:10:33,342 --> 00:10:37,012
Because it's dirty in New York,
and it'll probably last longer.
183
00:10:37,012 --> 00:10:38,762
And it's-- it's probably easy to exchange.
184
00:10:40,599 --> 00:10:43,979
Sure. Sure.
You should have what you want, honey.
185
00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:49,692
I hope, in your sister's death,
186
00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:52,361
you'll be able
to do something that I haven't.
187
00:10:52,361 --> 00:10:54,111
Create something of her life.
188
00:10:55,614 --> 00:10:56,784
Make it beautiful.
189
00:10:57,991 --> 00:11:00,411
And then, please, tell me how you did it.
190
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:04,075
Love, Clare.
191
00:11:39,783 --> 00:11:40,993
Uh, that can come down.
192
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:46,000
You were so wasted last night.
How are you even walking this morning?
193
00:11:45,998 --> 00:11:47,288
I don't know, Shan.
194
00:11:47,291 --> 00:11:48,671
Somehow I stagger on,
195
00:11:48,667 --> 00:11:52,167
despite fielding the vitriol
of an entitled millennial.
196
00:11:52,171 --> 00:11:54,631
I mean, literally walking.
197
00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:56,551
When you fell off the stage
after "Me and Bobby McGee,"
198
00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:59,760
I thought you, like,
broke a hip... or something.
199
00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:05,391
Would you just take
the fucking sign down, Shan? Thank you.
200
00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:09,730
Oh, Bev's daughter wanted you
to come by. Room 19.
201
00:12:09,730 --> 00:12:11,060
She told me it was urgent.
202
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,950
- When?
- Like, an hour ago.
203
00:12:23,202 --> 00:12:24,582
And I'm a Zoomer.
204
00:12:27,289 --> 00:12:29,209
Krystal, I'm so sorry to keep you waiting.
205
00:12:29,208 --> 00:12:30,288
I just got your message.
206
00:12:30,292 --> 00:12:32,132
- Did you sleep in here last night?
- Uh...
207
00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:34,797
My mom said
the admissions lady slept here last night.
208
00:12:39,676 --> 00:12:42,636
I know that you get lonely sometimes.
209
00:12:42,638 --> 00:12:46,348
And even though
you know that I can't sleep in here,
210
00:12:46,350 --> 00:12:48,020
I will always keep you company
211
00:12:48,018 --> 00:12:51,648
and make sure you're feeling cozy
and all tucked in, right?
212
00:12:51,647 --> 00:12:52,937
- Right?
- Mmm.
213
00:12:54,149 --> 00:12:55,439
It's the Alzheimer's.
214
00:12:59,613 --> 00:13:00,953
- There you go.
- Thank you.
215
00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:02,528
Gentleman.
216
00:13:05,661 --> 00:13:07,371
- What?
- Wow.
217
00:13:07,371 --> 00:13:09,121
Oh, my God!
218
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:11,672
Sam! What're you doing here?
219
00:13:11,667 --> 00:13:14,667
Oh, it's been--
Been forever! Shit!
220
00:13:14,670 --> 00:13:16,920
- You look great!
- Wha-- Oh.
221
00:13:16,922 --> 00:13:19,262
- Wait, when was the last time--
- I don't know!
222
00:13:19,258 --> 00:13:20,928
Was it, uh, Bread Loaf?
223
00:13:20,926 --> 00:13:22,886
Uh, uh, City Lights. Hannah's reading.
224
00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:24,386
Oh, fuck! Yeah.
225
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:28,385
Aah. Wait, are you still at,
uh, uh, The Believer?
226
00:13:28,392 --> 00:13:30,102
No. They folded in March.
227
00:13:30,102 --> 00:13:32,352
But I left for The Mantros years ago.
228
00:13:32,354 --> 00:13:34,824
Oh, I love The Mantros.
229
00:13:34,815 --> 00:13:37,315
Essays... Dear Sugar...
230
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:39,437
I know!
I got your fan letter last night!
231
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:43,699
You wrote in to Dear Sugar.
232
00:13:45,951 --> 00:13:46,951
I'm Sugar.
233
00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:50,961
I'll explain. Do you want to go somewhere?
234
00:13:50,956 --> 00:13:51,956
Do you still not drive?
235
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:55,666
An advice column is easy clicks.
236
00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:59,419
But who-- who wants to get advice
from some middle-aged white dude?
237
00:13:59,423 --> 00:14:02,343
I've literally been reading this column
for the last three months,
238
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:03,642
and it's fucking you?
239
00:14:03,635 --> 00:14:05,795
- How can it be you?
- I'm detecting some disdain here.
240
00:14:05,804 --> 00:14:09,104
You're pretending
to be a-- a woman? What?
241
00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:11,269
I know. I know! I am living a lie.
242
00:14:11,268 --> 00:14:14,098
But then... you wrote in.
243
00:14:14,104 --> 00:14:16,694
And I saw your name
and I remembered your writing
244
00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:18,900
and the essay--
That fucking essay.
245
00:14:19,318 --> 00:14:23,068
And I realized that this woman
that I'm pretending to be,
246
00:14:23,071 --> 00:14:26,741
you know, working class,
pulled herself up by her bootstraps,
247
00:14:26,742 --> 00:14:28,162
- kinda disheveled--
- Okay.
248
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:29,620
- She's literally you!
- Okay. Okay.
249
00:14:29,620 --> 00:14:32,500
- Okay, just take a left at Elm.
- You should be the one doing this.
250
00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:34,171
Doing what?
251
00:14:34,166 --> 00:14:36,706
- Being Sugar!
- What? No.
252
00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:37,710
I mean, it doesn't pay.
253
00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:41,091
And-- And, you know,
there's no credit 'cause it's anonymous.
254
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:42,839
But I would be your point.
255
00:14:42,841 --> 00:14:46,471
And all you have to do
is answer, like, one letter a week and--
256
00:14:46,470 --> 00:14:47,970
Sam, stop it.
257
00:14:47,971 --> 00:14:50,021
I'm not giving anybody advice.
258
00:14:50,015 --> 00:14:54,015
My life is a fucking shit show!
259
00:14:55,646 --> 00:14:56,766
And I--
260
00:14:56,772 --> 00:14:58,362
I'm not a writer!
261
00:14:58,357 --> 00:15:00,647
You're one of the best writers I know.
262
00:15:01,527 --> 00:15:05,317
You didn't get a book deal
off of that essay for nothing.
263
00:15:05,322 --> 00:15:07,952
Doesn't count
if you don't write the book.
264
00:15:07,950 --> 00:15:09,950
Everything counts, Sugar.
265
00:15:12,287 --> 00:15:13,457
Don't call me that!
266
00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:24,169
I'm sorry about your sister.
267
00:15:26,677 --> 00:15:29,757
Clare, I don't have a fucking sister.
I made it up.
268
00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:33,563
You made up someone
having fucking cancer?
269
00:15:33,559 --> 00:15:35,059
Take a right.
270
00:15:35,060 --> 00:15:37,100
Yes, I made it all up!
271
00:15:37,104 --> 00:15:38,404
This is why I need you!
272
00:15:38,397 --> 00:15:40,357
Oh, you are the worst, Sam!
273
00:15:40,357 --> 00:15:42,187
I can't believe
I almost ever slept with you.
274
00:15:42,192 --> 00:15:43,192
Pull over!
275
00:15:43,193 --> 00:15:45,203
What are you doing?
I'm-- I'm getting out.
276
00:15:45,195 --> 00:15:46,525
Wait, what do you mean, "almost"?
277
00:15:46,530 --> 00:15:48,280
We never slept together? Why not?
278
00:15:48,282 --> 00:15:50,162
'Cause you're an asshole.
279
00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:53,078
Oh, so you're done with me now?
That's it?
280
00:15:53,078 --> 00:15:55,618
I have therapy. Thank you for the ride.
281
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:58,462
- What? You're an asshole!
- Okay, fine.
282
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,168
No, no, no, no. Here. Wait.
283
00:16:00,169 --> 00:16:03,549
I-- I printed out
the letters that I didn't answer
284
00:16:03,547 --> 00:16:05,007
because I can't--
285
00:16:05,716 --> 00:16:09,426
Just... read 'em.
And if you want, just answer one.
286
00:16:11,013 --> 00:16:14,273
Everyone's lives are a fucking shit show!
287
00:16:14,266 --> 00:16:16,306
People, they need help.
288
00:16:16,310 --> 00:16:20,020
You said it yourself,
"Create something of her life.
Make it beautiful."
289
00:16:23,358 --> 00:16:24,938
Let me see if I can help you.
290
00:16:24,943 --> 00:16:26,493
Did you happen to save the receipt?
291
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:29,316
I... did not save the receipt.
292
00:16:29,323 --> 00:16:31,033
It was final sale.
293
00:16:31,033 --> 00:16:33,203
I-- I can try to look it up.
294
00:16:33,702 --> 00:16:35,002
I appreciate that.
295
00:16:37,623 --> 00:16:39,423
I may need to talk to my supervisor.
296
00:16:45,964 --> 00:16:48,014
- Did it work out?
- Mm-hmm.
297
00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:49,258
- It's okay?
- It's okay.
298
00:16:55,432 --> 00:16:56,432
You're late.
299
00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:57,893
I'm actually two minutes early
300
00:16:57,893 --> 00:17:00,733
'cause she's always
five minutes late, so.
301
00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:03,399
Make sure that's off.
302
00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:08,070
Who is it?
303
00:17:09,154 --> 00:17:10,744
Hmm?
Lucas again?
304
00:17:13,992 --> 00:17:16,412
I'm glad
you both are choosing to be here today.
305
00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:21,040
I know, in the past,
that hasn't always been the case.
306
00:17:23,627 --> 00:17:26,417
This feels like a particularly hard moment
in your marriage.
307
00:17:27,381 --> 00:17:29,381
I think a lot has been said.
308
00:17:30,551 --> 00:17:33,971
And maybe... a lot hasn't been said.
309
00:17:37,099 --> 00:17:39,889
Yeah. No, um, I-- I feel that same way.
310
00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:42,727
Honestly, it's, um...
311
00:17:44,231 --> 00:17:45,231
Uh...
312
00:17:47,693 --> 00:17:48,693
Yeah.
313
00:17:50,445 --> 00:17:53,945
Jung once said,
"I am not what has happened to me.
314
00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:56,871
I am what I choose to become."
315
00:17:57,536 --> 00:17:59,286
Does that bring up
anything for you, Clare?
316
00:17:59,288 --> 00:18:00,288
No.
317
00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:04,044
How long am I supposed
to stay out of my own home?
318
00:18:04,042 --> 00:18:06,422
Well, how long do you think
you need to stay out of your home?
319
00:18:09,089 --> 00:18:10,549
What are we doing?
320
00:18:10,549 --> 00:18:14,139
What is this space supposed to accomplish?
321
00:18:14,136 --> 00:18:18,016
Or is it just, like,
one long, torturous experiment
322
00:18:18,015 --> 00:18:20,725
to slowly turn my own daughter against me?
323
00:18:20,726 --> 00:18:21,976
It was her college fund!
324
00:18:21,977 --> 00:18:23,847
Part of. That he will pay back!
325
00:18:23,854 --> 00:18:25,864
You just gave it away
without even talking to me!
326
00:18:25,856 --> 00:18:27,516
What? You just thought I wouldn't notice?
327
00:18:27,524 --> 00:18:29,824
What did you want me to fucking do?
Leave him homeless?
328
00:18:29,818 --> 00:18:32,818
It was our childhood home!
It's my mother's house!
329
00:18:32,821 --> 00:18:35,321
He lives there! And it was underwater.
330
00:18:35,324 --> 00:18:37,034
Yeah, because he fucked up.
331
00:18:37,034 --> 00:18:38,164
Yeah, he fucks up all the time!
332
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:39,490
Yeah, he does fuck up all the time and--
333
00:18:39,494 --> 00:18:42,004
Yeah, fine, fine!
But family takes care of family.
334
00:18:42,497 --> 00:18:43,667
I'm it for him.
335
00:18:43,665 --> 00:18:45,915
What would you do?
Would you leave me on the fucking street?
336
00:18:46,668 --> 00:18:48,418
Oh!
337
00:18:48,420 --> 00:18:52,220
Clare, have you ever heard
of the phrase "financial infidelity"?
338
00:18:52,216 --> 00:18:53,216
Oh, my God.
339
00:18:53,217 --> 00:18:57,097
It can be as destabilizing
and damaging as sexual infidelity.
340
00:18:57,095 --> 00:18:58,095
Even more so.
341
00:18:58,096 --> 00:18:59,096
Yeah. Okay.
342
00:18:59,097 --> 00:19:00,967
That's not even in the same ballpark,
343
00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:02,814
- 'cause there's no betrayal here.
- Right.
344
00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:04,729
I needed to take care of my brother.
345
00:19:04,728 --> 00:19:07,018
Yeah, when you do something wrong,
it's-- it's different rules.
346
00:19:07,022 --> 00:19:08,322
This is not about rules.
347
00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:10,315
Not everybody comes from
where you come from,
348
00:19:10,317 --> 00:19:13,857
or just-- or, you know,
starts life with an even playing field.
349
00:19:13,862 --> 00:19:15,112
I'm a Black man in America.
350
00:19:15,113 --> 00:19:17,243
I know people don't come
from an equal playing field, Clare.
351
00:19:17,241 --> 00:19:19,331
That's not what I mean.
I'm talking about being rich!
352
00:19:19,326 --> 00:19:21,246
- I grew up middle class.
- Yeah, that's rich.
353
00:19:21,245 --> 00:19:24,155
What do you want me to say?
My brother's a fuck-up. I'm a fuck-up.
354
00:19:24,164 --> 00:19:25,334
Okay, I'm an awful person.
355
00:19:25,332 --> 00:19:27,172
I'm awful. I'm horrible. That's it.
356
00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:29,207
I don't know what to say.
I don't know what to fucking say.
357
00:19:29,878 --> 00:19:31,628
Let's just start
with how you're feeling, hm?
358
00:19:31,630 --> 00:19:35,550
I am feeling hungry. I am feeling tired.
359
00:19:35,551 --> 00:19:37,851
I'm feeling like a shell of a person.
360
00:19:37,845 --> 00:19:40,675
- Like I'm staring into an abyss--
- I get it.
361
00:19:43,058 --> 00:19:44,638
I mean, I'm not there yet,
362
00:19:44,643 --> 00:19:48,023
but I think it's really common
for women your age to feel this way.
363
00:19:48,021 --> 00:19:49,311
You've spoken before
364
00:19:49,314 --> 00:19:51,534
about your insecurities
with getting older--
365
00:19:51,525 --> 00:19:53,775
I thought we were talking
about me giving money to my brother.
366
00:19:53,777 --> 00:19:56,567
- And with the age gap
between you and Danny--
- It's not that big.
367
00:19:56,572 --> 00:19:59,992
And the way our society
treats women over 50 as irrelevant--
368
00:19:59,992 --> 00:20:01,702
- I'm 49!
- You'll be 50 in a month.
369
00:20:01,702 --> 00:20:05,252
Women over 50 are treated
as if they are barely sexual beings.
370
00:20:05,247 --> 00:20:09,747
Their beauty is fading, or at least
our conventional ideas of beauty.
371
00:20:09,751 --> 00:20:11,711
Because of that, their power wanes.
372
00:20:11,712 --> 00:20:15,972
Their wants and desires
are considered as an afterthought.
373
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:17,800
Okay.
374
00:20:41,408 --> 00:20:42,408
Oh.
375
00:21:08,685 --> 00:21:10,095
I mean, it's therapy!
376
00:21:10,103 --> 00:21:13,403
It's not office hours.
You don't stick around after class!
377
00:21:13,398 --> 00:21:17,068
You know, that's like a cesspool
full of bacteria, right?
378
00:21:17,069 --> 00:21:20,159
Okay, why don't you ask
your hot dishwasher to clean it out?
379
00:21:20,781 --> 00:21:23,081
Oh, well, maybe I will.
380
00:21:24,701 --> 00:21:25,741
- Hello.
- There you go.
381
00:21:25,744 --> 00:21:26,834
Oh, my God!
382
00:21:26,828 --> 00:21:27,828
Thank you.
383
00:21:29,498 --> 00:21:30,788
Jesus Christ, Amy!
384
00:21:33,293 --> 00:21:34,803
I'm naughty!
385
00:21:34,795 --> 00:21:36,625
Uh, are they having sex?
386
00:21:36,630 --> 00:21:38,220
They-- Do they wanna have sex?
387
00:21:38,924 --> 00:21:43,474
Is couple's therapy some,
you know, sick psycho foreplay
388
00:21:43,470 --> 00:21:47,350
where they're just telepathically
jerking each other off in front of me?
389
00:21:47,349 --> 00:21:50,849
And... is my insurance paying for it?
390
00:21:50,853 --> 00:21:53,903
Oh, my God!
Maybe I should be a couple's therapist.
391
00:21:53,897 --> 00:21:55,607
I mean, I'm the one who found her!
392
00:21:55,607 --> 00:21:58,107
He didn't even wanna go!
And now he's like, what-- He's what?
393
00:21:58,110 --> 00:22:00,360
He's, like, fucking some woman
394
00:22:00,362 --> 00:22:05,412
who decorates her office with gnomes
grabbing their own weird stone vaginas?
395
00:22:05,409 --> 00:22:07,619
Okay. Danny loves you.
396
00:22:07,619 --> 00:22:12,249
He's not fucking his therapist
or any stone, uh, vaginas, okay?
397
00:22:13,792 --> 00:22:16,092
She called me barely a woman.
398
00:22:18,964 --> 00:22:20,594
Am I barely a woman?
399
00:22:20,591 --> 00:22:22,511
I mean,
she probably said it to get laid.
400
00:22:22,509 --> 00:22:25,219
Thanks, Amy.
Hang in there.
401
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:34,520
Thanks.
402
00:22:48,660 --> 00:22:49,660
Hey.
403
00:22:51,038 --> 00:22:52,038
Hey.
404
00:23:03,967 --> 00:23:04,967
Hey.
405
00:23:35,541 --> 00:23:37,751
Okay.
406
00:23:37,751 --> 00:23:39,041
I can't get it in.
407
00:23:39,044 --> 00:23:41,464
No, it's because, uh--
It's-- it's-- The angle is wrong
408
00:23:42,673 --> 00:23:43,803
Okay, yeah, maybe we--
409
00:23:43,799 --> 00:23:44,929
- Yeah.
- Yeah, let's go.
410
00:23:46,927 --> 00:23:49,297
What the f--
Wait, what the fuck is happening?
411
00:23:49,888 --> 00:23:51,638
Wait, is this a waterbed?
412
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:53,890
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God.
413
00:23:53,892 --> 00:23:56,232
Am I in 1979?
414
00:23:56,228 --> 00:24:00,228
Am I in a-- Am I trapped
in a fucking Steely Dan song?
415
00:24:00,232 --> 00:24:02,192
Oh, my God.
416
00:24:03,068 --> 00:24:05,488
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- What?
417
00:24:10,492 --> 00:24:12,872
- Oh, my God.
- Are you okay?
418
00:24:15,747 --> 00:24:18,627
I am not okay.
419
00:24:20,252 --> 00:24:21,462
Wait, are you married?
420
00:24:22,129 --> 00:24:24,589
- What the--
- The ring on your finger?
421
00:24:25,507 --> 00:24:28,677
Are you gonna fucking judge me?
You have a fucking waterbed!
422
00:24:28,677 --> 00:24:29,677
So?
423
00:24:34,391 --> 00:24:36,141
And I like Steely Dan.
424
00:24:37,227 --> 00:24:38,847
Well, they're a great band.
425
00:25:27,319 --> 00:25:28,699
Dear Sugar,
426
00:25:28,695 --> 00:25:30,985
I'm 22, and my question is short.
427
00:25:32,032 --> 00:25:33,872
What would you tell
your 20-something self
428
00:25:33,867 --> 00:25:35,237
if you could talk to her now?
429
00:25:36,328 --> 00:25:38,208
Love, Seeking Wisdom.
430
00:25:50,634 --> 00:25:51,644
Dear...
431
00:25:56,265 --> 00:25:58,055
Dear Seeking Wisdom.
432
00:25:59,142 --> 00:26:01,942
What would I tell my 22-year-old self?
433
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:05,820
I'd say,
stop worrying whether you're fat.
434
00:26:06,525 --> 00:26:08,355
Feed yourself, literally.
435
00:26:09,528 --> 00:26:13,698
The people worthy of your love
will love you more for this.
436
00:26:18,495 --> 00:26:23,285
I'd also say that
most things will be okay eventually,
437
00:26:24,835 --> 00:26:26,085
but not everything.
438
00:26:31,842 --> 00:26:33,802
One afternoon in your 20s,
439
00:26:33,802 --> 00:26:37,142
when you've gotten yourself
ridiculously tangled up with heroin,
440
00:26:37,139 --> 00:26:40,929
you'll be riding the bus and thinking
what a worthless piece of shit you are.
441
00:26:42,352 --> 00:26:44,732
A little girl will get on the bus
with her mother,
442
00:26:44,730 --> 00:26:46,820
holding the strings
of two purple balloons.
443
00:26:47,566 --> 00:26:50,566
She will offer you one of the balloons,
but you won't take it
444
00:26:50,569 --> 00:26:52,949
because you believe
you no longer have a right
445
00:26:52,946 --> 00:26:55,196
to such tiny beautiful things.
446
00:27:00,037 --> 00:27:01,037
You're wrong.
447
00:27:04,124 --> 00:27:05,134
You do.
448
00:27:07,419 --> 00:27:12,049
That's $127.62. I'm so sorry.
449
00:27:12,049 --> 00:27:14,639
And someday,
you'll look back on that one Christmas,
450
00:27:14,635 --> 00:27:16,965
when your mother gave you
a mustard-yellow coat
451
00:27:16,970 --> 00:27:19,140
that she'd saved for months to buy.
452
00:27:27,814 --> 00:27:28,904
Don't hold it up and say
453
00:27:28,899 --> 00:27:30,689
it's longer than
you like your coats to be,
454
00:27:30,692 --> 00:27:34,572
and too puffy,
and possibly even too warm.
455
00:27:36,532 --> 00:27:38,872
Because your mother
will be dead by spring...
456
00:27:41,036 --> 00:27:43,456
...and that coat will be the last gift
she ever gave you.
457
00:27:44,831 --> 00:27:45,831
Are you okay?
458
00:27:50,420 --> 00:27:51,800
I love you.
459
00:27:53,298 --> 00:27:54,798
You know that, right?
460
00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:57,300
Ab-- About the money,
it's-- it's not gone.
461
00:27:57,302 --> 00:27:58,852
It's not about the money.
462
00:27:58,846 --> 00:27:59,846
Then what?
463
00:28:04,142 --> 00:28:05,442
Do you want me to bring that in?
464
00:28:11,650 --> 00:28:13,820
And you will regret
the small thing you didn't say
465
00:28:13,819 --> 00:28:14,949
for the rest of your life.
466
00:28:15,863 --> 00:28:16,863
Have a good night.
467
00:28:19,157 --> 00:28:20,157
You too.
468
00:28:20,158 --> 00:28:23,698
When a gift is given, say thank you.
469
00:28:23,704 --> 00:28:24,714
Mom?
470
00:28:30,836 --> 00:28:31,836
You dropped something.
471
00:28:33,213 --> 00:28:37,473
When a gift is given, say thank you.
472
00:28:44,183 --> 00:28:46,733
When a gift... is given...
473
00:28:50,772 --> 00:28:51,772
Thank you.
35003
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