All language subtitles for 5_Enhfglish

♪ Tonight
you're mine completely ♪

♪ you give your love
so sweetly ♪

♪ tonight, the light of love
is in your eyes ♪

♪ but will you love me
tomorrow? ♪

♪ Is this a lasting treasure ♪

♪ or just a
moment's pleasure? ♪

♪ Can I believe the magic
of your sighs? ♪

♪ Will you still love me
tomorrow? ♪

I have
to say, that was magnificent!

Thirsty?

No, good. I'm... i'm...
I've got something.

Ah, I wasn't talking
about the drink.

What? No. What?

You've been staring at the guy

like you've been waiting
to meet him your whole life.

Go, say, "hello."
Buy him a drink.

No, not me. Uh-uh.

No. No, thank you.

Actually, okay.

Okay.

Thirsty?

Hmm?

Uh, for a drink.

Not... not sexually.

Gross. I don't...
I didn't mean it like that.

I'm gonna order
an alcoholic beverage.

Would you like to have
one, too, with me?

Uh, sure. Why not?

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Okay. Great.

Phil?

What can I get you?

- Old-fashioned.
- Old-fashioned.

How adorable.

That's a real cute vibe
going on here.

Yeah, two old-fashioneds,

and you can cut that out, Phil.

Hi, I'm Sheila.

- Hi.
- Hi.

I'm, uh, I'm Gary.

Oh, Gary.

Wow, so we both have, like,
old-timey names.

Yeah. Uh I guess,
very, uh, sadistic parents.

Oh, don't even get me started.

I mean,
there's no couch in here.

But yeah, Gary,
that's a good name.

- It's like a strong name.
- Yeah.

I guess, if you're like
a... a used car salesman or...

- Or something.
- Oh, wait. You're not a...

A... a used car salesman?

Or a mechanic?

No, no. No. Sorry.

Really needed to get my car
fixed, so...

I should probably go.

Oh.

I'm totally kidding.

Okay.

Okay.

- Oh, yay!
- Here you go.

Thanks, Phil.

- Cheers, mate!
- Cheers, mate!

That was kinda weird.

Well, not really.

I mean, what are the odds?

Odds are pretty good actually.

Gary, I gotta come
clean with you.

I'm a time traveler
from the future.

So, I knew everything
you were gonna say.

Right, okay.

- Okay.
- Yeah.

So, what is the future like?

Kind of what you'd expect.

You know, robots hunting down
inferior robots

while the humans just watch
and do nothing.

- So, kind of like blade runner.
- No.

That's a work of fiction, Gary.

This is reality
I'm talking about.

Yeah, sorry.
Yeah, you're right.

Well... excuse me,
but it... it sounds

like things are pretty rough
for robots in the future.

Yes, it's a real injustice.

But you know,
I wouldn't worry about it.

They actually started
their own civil rights movement.

- Wow.
- It's making headway.

So, I can't talk about it.

Plus, I don't wanna fuck up
your timeline.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

Thank you.
Because I like my timeline.

- Yeah. No, totally.
- You know, so, um...

Mmhmm.

You know, all this...
This time travel really makes

a girl super hungry.

Wow! That's, uh...
That's super interesting.

So, I'm gonna get some food.

Would you like to
come with me and get food?

- Food, yeah!
- Hmm?

Let's... let's... let's go get
you some food.

- Yeah?
- Yeah. Yeah.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Okay.

Bye, Phil!

I noticed you weren't really

watching the game in there.

So, what do you have against
televised sports?

Did like a football
kill your grandpa or something?

Yeah. Actually, it did.

Love you, grandpa.

No, I didn't really grow up
in a sports-friendly household.

Mm.

You know, my dad was never home.

He was, like,
a traveling professor.

And yeah, we never played catch
or anything like that.

So, I just, like, stayed inside
and watched movies.

And you know, before I knew it,
he was dead.

- I'm sorry.
- Don't be.

What are you gonna do, you know?

My dad's dead, too.

Oh.

I don't know why I...

Uh, he was, uh,
also a traveling alcoholic.

More so, he'd travel
from bar to bar.

You know, and then eventually,
it... it just... it killed him.

I'm sorry.

That's okay.

Well, clearly, it didn't fuck
either one of us up.

No. Very normal people.

- Yeah. We're so normal.
- Mmhmm.

- Nothing wrong with us at all.
- No.

I mean, other than the fact
that I'm about to ruin

- your life.
- Yeah. I had a feeling.

Okay, we’re here.

What should we choose?

Well, it's a real

Sophie's choice kind
of decision, now, isn't it?

I love it
when you make that joke.

- What?
- What?

Best vindaloo in town!

Eight stars on the yelp.

Eight stars on yelp.
We have to go to that one.

Please.

Mr. Jeff caravello
from the bachelorette ate here.

- Oh?
- Yes.

Are you playing peekaboo
or something?

- No, just looking at the menu.
- Okay.

Well, I would like to see
your face as soon as possible.

- Really?
- If that's possible.

- Yeah.
- Really?

Mmhmm.

- I wanna see your face.
- Okay.

Let's just order, so we can get
the business out of the way,

you know, and get to pleasure.

From one ocd person to another.
You understand that, right?

Yeah, for sure.

- Hold on.
- Oh, okay.

- Just... just look at the menu.
- Where did Sheila go?

I can't see her.

- Chicken korma.
- There she is.

Boom! What were you asking?

The, uh, time travel thing.

Oh, yes!

- Like, what...
- I keep forgetting.

Where are you... what year...
What year are you from?

Oh. Here's the thing, Gary.

I have got to come clean
with you.

You're not from the future,
are you?

I mean, I kind of figured,

- but...
- No, I am.

I am, actually, very much.
I wouldn't lie about that.

But I'm just not from very far
in the future.

I'm from 24 hours in the future.

- 24 hours in the future?
- Mmhmm.

- You can do that?
- Yeah.

- That's incredible!
- So cool.

They have the technology
to do that?

- They do.
- It exists now?

- Mmhmm.
- Wow.

- I know.
- Well, where is it located?

- At a nail salon.
- Mm.

Excuse me.
Can I get the chicken korma?

- Chicken korma.
- Mm. Thank you. It's so good.

And um, and maybe
two glasses of the cab.

- Is that okay with you?
- Mmhmm.

Are you gonna order?

I'll have the chicken vin...
Vindaloo.

Oh, you won't regret it.

- Nine stars on the yelp.
- Nine stars on yelp.

- Huh.
- I read a lot of reviews.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Thanks, man.

Gary, what do you do for work?

I'm a freelance
graphic designer...

For, like, non-profits mostly.

- I work from home.
- Oh.

So, the lonely boy
becomes the lonely man.

Well, when you say it like that,
I kind of sound sad.

No! You're not sad.

You're perfect.

Uh, what... who am I to talk
about loneliness anyway?

I mean, I'm a... I'm a...

I'm an executive producer's
assistant.

Don't ask me what that is,
because I don't even know.

- Hmm.
- I feel lonelier

in an open-floor plan
from 9:00 to 5:00

than I would at the bottom
of a fucking well.

Huh. Bottom of a well
can be pretty fucking lonely.

- Thank you.
- So, about that... thank you.

About that, uh, time machine
at the nail salon...

- Totally. Cheers.
- Yes.

Mm. You like this.

Mmhmm. I do... what?

You will like this.

So, what were you asking me?

I do like this.

- You are a time traveler.
- Sorry.

- What is that like?
- Yes. Here is the thing.

I don't get my nails done.

I mean, it's a total
maintenance nightmare.

And they chip all the time.
You know what I'm saying?

- Mm.
- But I was having the best day.

I was walking on 23rd,
and I saw this nail salon.

It was called, "nail me good."

And I just felt it deserved
my money.

I was greeted
with the international welcome

of nail salons worldwide.

What color?

Hmm. Maybe something that says,
"I've had a really nice day."

Ooh, elegant day! Perfect.

So, I get my nails done.

And then I have to use
the bathroom.

Do you have a restroom here?
I just need to freshen up.

And there in the back
was a large horizontal glowing

neon bed that looked
like a tanning machine.

And I was like, "fuck it.
I'm having a great day.

I should get a fucking tan".

Live life to its fullest,
you know?

Like the housewives
of orange county.

So, I call my girl June over.

June.

So, how much to use
the tanning machine?

Oh, no. It's not a tan machine.

- It's a time machine.
- Aw.

Yeah. The owner bought it.

But he doesn't like it.
It only goes back 24 hours.

Mm. Damn false advertising.

It's such a problem these days,
June.

Tell me about it.

The owner went back 24 hours
before he bought

the time machine
to not buy the time machine.

So, if he... he did that,

then why is the time machine
still here?

- Anyway, you wanna try it?
- Me?

No, no.
I don't think so.

Plus, you know,
I have a sensitive stomach.

Try it. It's fun.

Okay. Fuck it. I will.

Gosh,
I'm having such a good day.

That's the spirit.

- Wow!
- Yeah.

That is...

- That's just, wow!
- Mmhmm.

- Honestly.
- I know.

Wait. What'd you do with
the other you from the past?

Oh my god.
I didn't even think about that.

Well, you better think
about that!

Ah!

She's just out there,
roaming around?

She's gonna be really pissed
when she finds out

you're out here
living your best life.

You know, out to dinner
with some handsome guy.

- Oh, is that what I'm doing?
- Yeah.

What?

Do you think I'm crazy?

Yes.

- But it's really cute.
- Okay.

Hey.

Almost lost a star on yelp
right there.

Better be careful.

Looking good, amit.
See you tomorrow.

Look. Uh, I gotta come
clean about something.

I actually just got out
of a long relationship.

- Hmm.
- Year-long.

- Um, with a girl named Amber.
- Ugh!

Nothing good ever came
from a girl named Amber.

- That's not fair.
- Mm.

All right, maybe a little fair.

- Um, yeah, she was really sweet.
- Hmm.

You know just, like,
kinda passive.

You know, she like always
expected me to know

exactly what was on her mind
all the time.

- Like passive-aggressive.
- Yeah, yeah.

I guess you could say that.
It just... it got exhausting.

- Hmm.
- You know, so, I gave up.

And I... I broke it off.

I don't know. I just...

I haven't done this
in a long time.

I guess I'm awkwardly trying
to say I'm having a good time.

- So, uh, yeah.
- No, no. I get it.

Besides,
there's not guesswork here.

Lucky for you, my mouth speaks
before my brain tells it to.

Oh, I know. I like that.

Yeah. Well, that...

You like it now,
but you will not like it later.

Mm. I doubt that very much.

We're almost there.

- Where?
- Dessert!

Dessert?

Oh, that looks good.

- Whoa!
- Whoops! Sorry.

Hi.

Beautiful night.

Yes. It is.

Um, what do you recommend?

We got a flavor
called "childhood".

It's, uh, ice cream made
out of milk left to soak

for two weeks
in fruity pebbles cereal

served on a cone made
out of deconstructed

peanut butter and jelly
sandwiches.

Um, do you have vanilla?

No.

You know, it...

It really does taste
like my childhood.

I know. Mine, too. It's amazing.

What?

You're just like a little baby.

- What?
- It's all over your face.

Shut up!

I grew up
in that apartment building

- right there.
- What?

- Literally right there.
- Right there?

- Uh-huh.
- No way!

Yep! 600, apartment 1k.

That's crazy.
What was that like?

Um, the city
was kinda different.

It was... it was fine.

But... well, it was a little bit
lonely, you know?

I'm having a very strange
feeling,

like a memory right now.

This cable guy showed up
at our house.

I was really little,
but I don't totally remember,

but...

I do remember
he was so nice to me.

- Is that so weird?
- Yes.

- Yeah?
- That’s very weird.

I was normal. I had friends.

I didn't, like,
murder animals or anything.

Okay. Well, that fact that
you just had to clarify that

means you're fucked up.

So, should we keep
this adventure up?

- Should we go somewhere else?
- I'd love to.

- Do you like polka music?
- No!

- What?
- Do you?

- Yes!
- Ew!

You know, I can't tell
which one I like more.

The hoppy one or the wheaty.

Well, you're just
gonna have to keep

drinking them,
so you can find out.

Right. For science.

Obviously, for science, yes.

That's what we're doing,
an experiment.

Oh, absolutely.

You know, Gary, I just...

I...

I gotta come clean with you
about something.

I know, I know.

You're from the future.
I... I get it.

- Yes. Yes, I am.
- Mm.

But um, something else.

Remember earlier
at the restaurant

when you asked me what I did
with my other self

when I traveled back
to her timeline?

And I was like...

"I didn't even think
about that."

Mm.

- Do you remember?
- Mmhmm.

- That was a lie.
- Okay.

I killed her.

I wasn't expecting that.
You killed her?

- I did, yeah.
- Okay.

My car just, like...

Right over her face.

- That... that will do it.
- Yeah.

And then I stuffed her
in my trunk.

- Oh. Um, congrats on that.
- Thank you.

Yeah. You're a murderer.

So, here's to, uh, dead Sheila.

- Yes! Yes.
- I hope she's in a better place.

- Yes, absolutely.
- Absolutely.

I mean, I'm jealous of her
to be honest with you.

Absolutely.
I mean, the world is a...

Oh! What the fuck?

I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.
Fuck, I'm so sorry.

- It's fine.
- I'm sorry. I'm...

What are you doing?

- Fuck.
- Are you kidding me? Look.

It's okay for things to be
messy sometimes, okay?

- It is?
- Yeah.

Uh...

You still wanna stay
on the date?

It was like so...

It's true!

I really like that
sentence you said before.

The, uh, the one about things
being messy.

Yeah! Me, too.

Someone said that to me
a long time ago,

and it really stuck.

Like it released me from some
sort of mental prison, you know?

Yeah. Exactly.
That's exactly how it feels.

Yeah.

- What a night.
- Yeah.

Was it, uh, worth
all the time travel?

Oh, absolutely.

Nine stars on yelp.

You know, I could probably
do this forever.

But it is getting a little late,
so...

I'd really love to do this
again sometime.

Me, too.

I'll see you tomorrow.

What?

You know, when I travel back
24 hours again.

What...
What do you mean again?

Oh. Ah.

I gotta come clean with you,
Gary.

This not our first rodeo.

- What are you talking about?
- Yeah.

I've spent the entire week
with you.

This night,
seven times in a row.

Okay, wait.
So... so, you weren't kidding?

No, not kidding.
Very serious.

Okay.

Let's just pretend for a second
that I believe your whole

future time-travel bullshit.

Because I... I don't,
because it's bonkers.

But let's just pretend
that I do.

- Okay.
- Why would you travel back

to the same time
over and over again? Why?

So, you could get it right,
or just to try and like,

- win me over, or like...
- No!

- What... what are you doing?
- No!

That would be super weird,
and creepy, and obsessive.

No. That's the whole point.
I don't have to be perfect.

All this magic you're feeling,
I felt it, too, from night one,

and every night after that.

And no matter which way
I came at you, awkward, funny,

silly, sad, you... you played it
off perfectly.

And by the end of the night,
we were always on cloud nine.

That's the thing.
I don't have to try.

We just work.

Have you ever had a night
like this

ever in your entire life?

You haven't.

See, because you feel
the magic, too.

You feel it here,
and you feel it here,

- and you feel it here.
- Hey! All right, yes.

- Yes, I... I feel it there.
- Okay.

That's why I have to keep
revisiting this night.

The perfect night.

But why would you wanna revisit

the same thing
over and over again?

You know, wouldn’t you wanna try
something new?

And maybe, I don't know,
we go out for like

a second date or see
if we have a future

- like the old-fashioned way.
- No.

Gary, I've already done that,
okay?

It just... it doesn't end well.

Look. Tomorrow,
Amber's gonna call you,

and tell you she's pregnant
or you're gonna get killed

in a freaky
subway track accident.

It was terrible.
Your body was, like, all...

It was everywhere
and very unsettling.

Or the entire east coast
is gonna get nuked, you know?

And we think it's north Koreans,

but realize
it's an inside job, so...

What? What do you...

Nothing. Gary, it's okay.

Listen, it doesn't matter.
This is just about us.

You have to trust me.
This is the cleaner way.

Um...

I'm, uh...

I'm really tired.
Uh, my head hurts.

I think I should
probably get going.

I know.

It was nice to meet you,
uh, Sheila.

Bye, Gary.

I'll see you tomorrow.

'Cause I don't wanna listen
to real news.

Surging
forward with real menace.

Delivering the mini fist.

It's a perfect touch
on a breakaway.

Keeper comes out.

Goal!

- Thirsty?
- Yeah. Yeah, Phil.

I wanna tap that? Happy?

Damn! You go, girl!

Why don't you go talk to him?

I am gonna go buy him a drink.

Nice evening for it, huh?

- Oh. Uh, for, uh... for what?
- Exactly.

I'm gonna order
an alcoholic beverage.

Would you like one?

Uh...

- Yeah, sure.
- Great.

So, I had to develop
these like coping mechanisms.

Nothing like murdering people,

- but...
- Oh!

I had coping mechanisms, too.
I mean, not the murdering part.

Actually, yeah, I did.
More murdering myself.

I more have, like,
these impulses

that I can't control
where things just...

It's very hard to live that way.

Yeah. I imagine that could be
quite debilitating.

- Can't control it. Yeah.
- Mmhmm.

Which one do we choose?

I don't know. It's a
real Sophie's choice over here.

Best chicken korma
on the east coast.

Let's go to this one.

It's a symphony
for the senses...

Okay!

In 1995
before we moved locations.

You know in how in the Titanic
Jack teaches Rose how to spit?

Yeah.

I kind of wanted to do that
with you, but with burping.

I don't know. You know,
a lot of people actually say

I remind them
of Leonardo DiCaprio.

Like in what's eating
Gilbert grape.

- They say it's uncanny.
- Yes!

- Uncanny.
- Some say.

Hmm.

Okay, since
you're from the future,

you can... you can tell

- what I'm gonna say?
- What I'm gonna say.

Yeah.

- Hey, let's order.
- Yeah.

- You know, because...
- Yeah.

So you can get business
out of the way,

so you can focus
on the pleasure.

Um...

- What? Yeah.
- What can I get you?

All the things.

We want all the things.
Let's get everything.

Let's just, like, Max out
the credit card, you know?

Yeah. Like curry,
and chicken kebabs,

and shah mushroom,
butter chicken,

and chicken makhani, tikki,

fish masala, shrimp biryani,
with lamb or beef masala,

broccoli and Chana,
bhindi bhaji, chicken pakora,

coconut puri, and like, um,
two very large wines.

Thank you, sir.

Very hungry.

So, um, do you know John Connor?

Term... the Terminator,
'cause, um,

'cause you're from the future.

Oh, I'm actually just from

24 hours in the future.

- Okay.
- Gary, here's the thing.

Now that we've been seeing
each other for three months,

I just really feel
like I can open up to you,

you know?

Okay. Um...

Normally, I tell you

that I walk into a nail salon,
and I just stumbled

upon this time machine
on a very happy, sunshiney,

perfect day, but that's just
really not the case.

See, on that fateful day,
three months ago

when I took my first trip,
I was actually

about to kill myself.

Good afternoon, everyone.

I plan on killing myself,

and I'd really like to go out
with some nice nails, you know?

For the fans.

What?

What color?

Mm, something more that says
she lived a classy life.

Hmm. Elegant death. I like it.

- Glossy.
- Great.

Do you have a bathroom here?

I'd really like to die
on an empty bladder.

Yeah. I have a bathroom.

Maybe before you straight up
murder yourself, go in there.

What? Time travel? Why?
Why would I do that?

Why would I wanna go back
to yesterday?

Yesterday was shit, too,
let me tell you. Okay?

I do not wanna fuckin' do that.

I do not wanna go back there.

That would be a really, really,
really big mistake, you know?

I'm just such a fucking loser.
I'm such a fucking sad sack.

Why are you so nice to me?
Why are you so nice to me?

You tip decent.

I do tip well.

I'm just gonna...

'Cause I don't wanna ruin
my nails.

Okay.

- Just get it right.
- Okay.

Look... look up.

Time travel, tomorrow,
yesterday, it doesn't matter.

That's the problem.
That is the problem.

No matter what, my life is shit.
Okay?

This is a second chance.

And those are rare.
So, maybe you should take it.

You might see things differently
on the other side.

And if you don't,

you can always kill yourself
later.

Yeah, I'll do it. Fuck it.

Maybe I'll get shit out

on the other side
of the rainbow.

That's the spirit.

And here I am.

24 hours in the past.

Well, how...
How do you feel now?

Much better.

You just kinda got shat out

the other side of the rainbow?

Mmhmm. Yeah.

I've been shat out of
the other side a couple times.

It's okay.

- Nothin' to be ashamed of.
- Hmm.

In fact, this is the first time
I've been this happy

in a very, very, very long time.

Well, it makes me really happy.

Uh...

Very, very glad to hear that.

- I'll be right back.
- Okay.

Goodnight, amit.

You think I'm a passenger
on the crazy train?

No. No, I don't.

Do you think I'm the conductor
of the crazy train?

I should not have said
any of that.

That was tmi. I don't know

- what I was thinking.
- Hey!

I shouldn't have said that
to you.

Hey, hey. Relax.

I don't think that.
I really don't, at all.

And even if I do, who cares?
My life's been so boring.

I could...
I can get on this ride.

Oh.

- Well, then all aboard, baby.
- All right.

Well, just don't drive us off
a cliff, all right?

Oh, I would never.

Let's shop.

For dirty clothes?

They're not dirty.
Look how cute.

- This one has gum on it.
- Oh my god!

- Gary!
- What?

An old-timey shirt
with your old-timey name.

- You have to get this.
- No.

Yes. I'm getting it for you.

- Absolutely not.
- You have to.

- No.
- You have to.

Fine. But only
if I can get you this.

- Okay. I'll get that.
- Okay.

Thank you.

It looks very cute on you.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

Can't wait to wear
some random guy's shirt.

Isn't it pretty tonight?

Yes.

You look very good
in your new shirt, by the way.

Oh, thank you. Mm!

Oh, by the way,
right there is exactly...

Is that where you grew up?
Or something?

- What?
- Oh. I'm sorry.

I thought, uh...

For some reason,
I thought maybe you might

have mentioned.

Yeah. No, may... yes. Um...

600, apartment 1k.

Okay.

My entire childhood.
Yeah.

That's crazy.
What was that like?

Uh, you know, the city was...

Was very different then,
but it was kinda lonely.

My mom kinda gave up
pretty early.

What?

Um,

there was this, like, cable guy
who stopped by one afternoon.

I was very little,
so I don't really remember.

But he was very nice to me.

I don't know
why I just told you that.

- It's weird.
- It is a little weird.

- Yeah.
- It's okay.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Mmhmm.
- Yeah.

Come here.
Wanna take a picture?

- Obviously.
- Let's take a selfie.

Yeah, let me take it.
I have really long arms.

No, no, no. Oh!

- Oh, fuck, fuck!
- No, it's fine.

Oh, no. I'm sorry.
Well, I think...

It's not a big deal.
It's just my phone.

- I think I can fix it. I...
- Gary.

- Fuck, I'm sorry. Hold on.
- Gary! Gary!

Yeah.

It's okay for things
to be messy sometimes.

- Oh, what a night!
- Yeah?

Was it worth
all the time travel?

Oh, yeah.

Henry zagat says it's a
symphony for all the senses.

- Za-gat?
- Yeah.

- Za-gat?
- I think so.

I thought it was zag-at.

I've been saying zag-at.

I don't think so.
Maybe I'm wrong.

So, actually, this was the spot
I was gonna kill myself.

Can you believe it?

Wait.

- Really?
- I know. Think about it.

The... the drop, the dive,
the chill of the water.

I mean,

it's a pretty...
Pretty good way to go.

Plus, no blood.

And no, like,
weird forensics like,

"what happened to her?"
It'd be very obvious.

Pretty selfless way
to kill yourself,

don't you think?

I feel like people would call me
"the Mother Teresa of suicides".

Maybe not.
But I don't mind if they do.

I mean...

At the end of the day,
it's... deep down, it's...

It's all jokes, right?

Uh, no. Not all of them.

But I'm okay now.

I'm sorry. I wish I could...

I've been waiting for you
my whole life, Gary.

Oh. Huh. Um, all right.

Well, don't you think
it's a little early for that?

It's been five months, Gary.

Uh, we met today.

We met literally today.

You're the first person
to make me truly happy, ever.

You're the man I've been looking
over men's shoulders for.

It's you. This whole time.

I've been waiting my whole life
for you.

You're finally here.

Uh...

I think we should take a breath.

And I'm gonna go.

Is that... is that okay?
Is it okay if I go?

Yeah, I'll be fine.

You're not gonna
do anything dumb, right?

Mm-mm.

You're sure you're okay?

Mmhmm.

I'll see you tomorrow, Gary.

Ugh! What a night.

This was the spot
I was gonna kill myself.

Can you believe it?

I'm sorry, I...

Gary, I've been waiting for you
my whole life.

- Oh.
- Hmm.

Well, um, I'm gonna go.

Bye, Gary.

I'll see you tomorrow.

You're the person
I've been looking

over men's shoulders for.

You're the one
I've been waiting for.

And you're finally here.
Think about it.

The fall, the plunge,
the dive, the chill, the water.

Very good spot for it.
And no blood.

You are the person
that I have been waiting for

my entire life.

Is it okay if I go?

Maybe talk about this
some other time?

Don't you think it's a little
too soon to talk like that?

I'm gonna remember this,

and it makes me so, so sad,
Gary, you know?

Come on, it can't be that bad.

Of course, it can.

I have to keep revisiting it.

The perfect night.

You do it every time.
Just fucking walk away.

- It's fine.
- How is that, but we just...

- Every time.
- I don't know

what you're talking about,
because we just met.

But okay.

Surging
forward with real menace.

Delivering the mini fist.

It's a perfect touch.

What a goal!

Hey, I'm Sheila.
Do you want a drink?

- Me?
- Mmhmm.

Uh, hi. S... sure. Yeah.
Okay. I'm... I'm Gary.

- Hi, Gary.
- Hello.

Phil.

- What can I get you?
- Uh...

He'll have an old-fashioned.

I'll have a whiskey neat.
Thank you.

I, uh...

I... I really like your dress.

It reminds me of like a picnic.

Guilty, I am not a sportsman.

Yeah, no, I figured.

We don't have to talk
about that again.

Hmm? Again?

Oh, no. I didn't...

- What were you saying?
- Oh.

- Uh, I grew up pretty neurotic.
- Mmhmm.

And not really
in a warm environment.

- My dad was never home.
- Oh, yeah.

Why are we talking
about our dead dads?

Why do we always do this?

We don't have to do this,
you know?

- We can like make new choices.
- Wow.

It's a real Sophie's choice
out here.

Best chicken korma
on the east coast.

Henry p. Zagat himself raves,
"it's a symphony for..."

So, do you know, um,
John Connor?

'Cause, um...
'Cause you're from the future.

"Give me your clothes,

your boots,
and your motorcycle."

- "Uh, I'm the governor!"
- Mm.

Well, that's actually
not from the movie.

He just later became
the governor, which was crazy.

Did you know that predator
has two governors in it?

Jesse ventura
and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

I mean, it has to be like
a snapple fact

or something at least.

Gary, I gotta come clean
with you.

We have been doing this
for almost a year now.

And things are starting to feel
a little one-sided.

- You know what I mean?
- Um...

- A year? We've, uh...
- I get it.

This night, this is just
one night to you.

But for me, my entire life
revolves around this night only.

Nothing else.
And is it a great night? Yeah.

Is it my fault? Yes!

My choice?
Have I... have I created this?

Yes. But goddammit, Gary,
even a perfectly-cooked steak

starts to taste like shit
when you eat it all day

every day, you know?

Okay, i'm... I'm sorry.

- I'm a little confused.
- I just...

I really thought were just
so perfect for each other.

But now, I just don't know.
I don't know.

I'm starting to feel stunted.
Yeah. You know?

And it's kind of my fault.

Because I've kept us
in this whirlwind of hell

over, and over, and over,
and over of this crazy loop.

And I'm letting you know,
I gotta be honest with you,

it's kinda your fault, too.

Yeah, a little bit.

You are so passive.
Everything has to be perfect.

You don't wanna make a mess.

You don't wanna ruffle
any feathers.

It's just like...

You know, there's nowhere,
but down with you.

I think I'm gonna go.

- Oh. Shocker.
- Yeah.

Okay. Bye, Gary.

- Yeah. Well, thank you for this.
- Mmhmm.

Um, and please don't take this
the wrong way,

but I think
you need some help. Okay?

Oh, no. Actually, you know what,
Gary? We need help.

- No!
- Yeah.

- You need help.
- Yeah. We.

There's no we in this situation.

We, we. We need help.

- No, it's you.
- Ugh!

- She needs help.
- Oh. Oh, my god. We.

- Everyone at this restaurant.
- Was the meal okay?

Thank you. What's 25 plus 96?

Oh my god. Really?

You're gonna storm out,
but you're gonna stop to pay

- like a good guy?
- Yeah, I'm gonna stop to pay.

You are so lame.

I'm sorry, I don't wanna get
arrested on our date.

Oh, my. Arrested? Oh my god!

- You are so dumb.
- Make sure you add 25 percent.

- Bye, Gary!
- Bye!

- Can you...
- Bye!

Bye! Ugh!

Rough night, amit.

Can I bum a cigarette?

Oh. That beautiful case.
You're so classy.

Mmhmm. Mmhmm.

Thank you.

Love, huh?

What a muddy, sinking, swamp,
shit, fire dumpster, am I right?

I'm happily married.

Oh, good for you!

Your life is perfect.

Maybe luck will change for you,
too, one day.

No. See, no.

For me,
nothing changes, like, ever.

My life is just consistent,
consistent shit.

Nothing ever fucking changes.

Wait.

Change.

Yeah, amit.

You brilliant, beautiful,
married man.

Oh my god. Ch... change.
I can fix him. I can change him.

This is something
I can actually do.

Oh, no. Well, no.

- Yeah.
- No.

- Yeah.
- You can't.

People don't really change.

And you certainly
can't change people.

In my culture, we have a saying.

You can't fit a square peg
into a round hole.

I don't think
that's in your culture.

It's a universal saying.

You can't change people.

The world doesn't work that way.

But what is that, though,
really?

I mean, those are just words,
amit.

And what are words?

Words are just, you know,
thoughts that we have

that exit our mouths.

We... we talk too much.

As a civilization.
Not me and you, which I regret,

that we don't...
We don't do this more often.

You're a really good man.
Helped me a lot. Thank you.

♪ Whack ♪

♪ whack, whack ♪

Are you fucking kidding me?

♪ Whack ♪

Mm.

♪ Whack, whack ♪

♪ whack ♪

♪ whack, whack ♪

Oh, fuck, fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Come on.

That's a sloppy tackle.

Fuck.

The
referee's given him the
penalty!

Oh, that's a bullshit call!

Phil, do you see
the new Gary over there?

Look at him.

Lining up for the penalty now.

What do you think?

Does he look different to you
or...

Oh, yeah.
Something is different.

Really liking
what I'm seeing, Phil.

Really liking it.

All on
the same page. Let's see.

- Hello.
- Hi.

Are the good guys winning or...

The good guys?

- Mmhmm.
- No.

No, the...
The good guys are not winning.

They're actually getting
their asses kicked.

I'm sorry. It's so upsetting.

Yeah, I'm Gary.

Do you want a drink?
Can I buy you a drink?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

- I'm Sheila.
- Okay, Sheila.

Hey, yo guy.

- What can I get you?
- Uh, ipa.

Uh, old-fashioned, please.

What are you doing here
all alone?

You're way too beautiful
to be alone in a bar.

Oh.

You know,
I'm just pickin' up guys.

- Yeah?
- Uh-huh.

- Oh, yeah? Who?
- You.

- Really?
- You're the only one.

- Okay.
- Mmhmm.

Okay.

Well, Sheila, it doesn't look

like the good guys
are gonna come back

anytime soon, so...

What do you say we get
out of here and maybe

get you some food?

Yeah. Right now?

- Yeah, let's go.
- Okay.

Yeah. Hey!
Give me my 20 back.

- No, no, no, no.
- Here you go.

We only want...

- Give me... give me my 20 back.
- What are you talk...

I just...
I just made these drinks.

Well, I don't...

So, you know, my dad was
a traveling alcoholic actually.

And um, just traveled
from bar to bar,

- and eventually died.
- Whoa.

Where do you wanna go?

There's a bunch
of Indian restaurants...

There's actually a new place
over here I wanted to try.

Come on.

Come on, keep up!

Isn't that cool?

- Mmhmm.
- Yeah.

So, what do you do, Ms. Sheila?

Oh. Um...

I'm an executive
producing assistant.

Sounds really, uh, intense.

Yeah. Like cancer.

Um, what do you do?

I run a small start-up company.

About 25 people for now.

Wow. That's... that's amazing.

Yeah.

Gary, are you happy?

Like, in life,
are you truly happy?

Yeah. You know? I mean,
life's weird sometimes.

But you know,
I'm here for the happy moments.

Oh. I like that.

Yeah. Uh...

Thank you. Mm.

Um, is that a tiny fish?

You're supposed
to eat this stuff?

Yeah. That is the idea
of dinner.

Oh. I just thought
that was glass.

- Yeah.
- It was confusing.

No. It's...
I think it's honeycomb.

This is one of the best
restaurants in the city, so...

- Oh.
- Yeah.

So, what do you do for fun?
Um, me, I like to rock climb.

You know, I don't think
there's anything

like getting up on those rocks.

Yeah, I like to throw on a pair

of the old spikey boots,
and head down to the mountain.

- I don't mean to brag...
- Gary, I'm from the future.

- Okay.
- No, I'm serious.

I'm completely serious.

No, no, no, I'll play along.

What... what brings you
to the past?

- You.
- Okay.

Yeah.

It started as an accident.

Then I fell in love with you.

And I started spending
a lot of time with you,

365 days to be exact.

I loved everything about you.

Everything.

Until I didn't.
I mean, I do. I did.

But I just wanted, you know...
I just needed to, like, change

a couple things,
just a couple little things

to make you...
Make you more perfect.

You know, make you more perfect
for me, right?

Because that's relationships.

You can't love someone
100 percent of the time, right?

Yeah. Sure, I guess.

Is that, like,
from the bachelor or something?

- Gary.
- Hmm.

You know how I always tell you

about that time machine,
and the nail salon's a dud,

and it only goes back 24 hours?

No. I don't know
what the fuck you're talking...

Well, I was lying.

See, there's something
that you should know.

It can go anywhere

in the past,
but for only 24 hours.

Then zap, you're back here.

Okay, June.
That is a fascinating story.

But I'd really like to go
kill myself now, all right?

You sure? It's a second chance.

You can always kill yourself
later.

Okay. Let's do it.
Let's fuck up some history, huh?

- That's the spirit.
- Mm.

And here I am,
24 hours in the past.

Wow.

Wow!

- Mmhmm.
- You can go back

to any point in the past
and you chose yesterday.

- Mmhmm.
- You didn't wanna go

somewhere more meaningful,
like I don't know,

like, to kill Hitler?

Well, I did take out Smithson.

- Who?
- Exactly.

And Gary, I mean, why yesterday?

I don't know.
I mean, technically speaking,

it was actually June's fault,
she chose it.

And let me tell you,
when I ended up

24 hours in the past,
I was like,

"what the fuck, June?"
I mean, life is already shit.

I don't need a reminder
of yesterday's shit, right?

I kind of preferred, like,
nostalgic childhood shit,

that could really, like...
But what are you gonna do?

So, then I thought alcohol,
and I stumbled into that bar,

and then I met you.

And everything changed.

Right. And that was a year ago.

Technically,
yesterday. But, yes.

We've been doing this
for an entire year,

365 days to be exact.
In fact, it's, um...

It's our anniversary, Gary.

Hey.

Can I have the check, please?

Happy anniversary.

Gary, thank you so much
for dinner.

It was delicious.

So, should we head out
and find some dessert?

Mm. I don't think so.

You for uh, for Gary?

- Uh, yeah.
- Yeah.

Look, I actually
have to be up kinda early,

and uh, I need my rest.
But this was great.

This never happened
with old Gary.

Yeah.

I must have really done
a number on you.

Wow. Changes I have made.

- Mm. Yeah? Is that so?
- Hmm.

- Hey, hey!
- Oh, I thought you were...

No, listen. Look.

Not that I'm buying
any of your bullshit,

future girl,
but just out of curiosity,

just 'cause I wanna know,
what exactly did you change

about me
that was so fucking awful?

Oh, okay. So, we've spent
a lot of time together.

And you've shared
a lot with me. Okay?

Like, I know
all about your childhood,

your disappointments,
the ups and downs,

all the traumas, and I've kinda
like narrowed them down

to the moments that aided
in your mental decline.

I call them the "where things
went wrong for Gary" moments.

Oh. Is that what you call them?

Hey! Dial down the sarcasm.

It's our fucking anniversary.

So, anyway, I traveled
back there, and I fixed them.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Give me an example of one.

- One.
- Fine!

- Yes.
- You're Gary, right?

Mom!

My name is Charlie,

and I just moved in
across the street.

Okay.

May I interest you
in a friendly game of catch?

I'm not supposed to talk
to strangers.

Can I tell you a little secret?

I lost my son many years ago
in a boating accident, actually.

And it makes me very, very,
very sad.

And I... I miss him so much.

It would truly mean the world
to me if you would humor

an old man

and play a friendly game
of catch out in the yard.

What do you say, sport?

Okay.

You should watch more wrestling.

The fake kind.

- It's not fake.
- It’s pretty fake, kid.

A lot of people are gonna say
you're wrong, Gary.

- Fuck 'em.
- Okay.

Oh, god. Gary, no.

My miming's good, right?

Gary, no. Don't do that.

People don't like mimes.

Please don't do that again.

Hey, wait. Just wait a second.

What?

You were uncle Charlie?

It was I.

You're so fucking crazy.

- That's fucking crazy.
- Why?

We just played a little catch.
Big deal!

Sheila, I played catch

with uncle Charlie
every Sunday afternoon

- for like three years!
- I know.

Gary, what can I say?
I'm very methodical.

I went back a bunch to make
a difference in your life.

You're welcome.

How do you not see
how fucked up this is?

- What?
- What? I loved that guy.

I fucking loved uncle Charlie.
He was like my dad.

I know! That is the whole point.

No, it's not the point.

You can't just choose
for people.

You can't just do that.

You can't just put
a positive influence,

and pawn 'em on someone,
and hope it all works out.

You can't fucking do that!
That's not how life works!

What else did you change?

Well, just I... a couple things.

I just deleted a few people.

You know, like
your middle school bully,

Patrick, and your math teacher,
Mrs. Kaiser, and Amber, duh!

Oh my god!

But that's all.
That's all. That's all.

What, that's all? That's all?

Actually, no.
There is one more thing.

Hey, kiddo. How's it going?

I heard you ordered a pizza.

Oh, I didn't order a...

Oh my god. Tatiana?

I lost my virginity to her.

- Oh, you're welcome!
- You're unbelievable.

You're UN-fucking-believable.
You're fucking psychotic.

Hey! That is not fair!

I've heard you talk
about your pain

over, and over, and over,
night, after night, after night.

And it has broken my heart.

I have this unique ability
to take your pain away.

Well, guess what?

It's not yours to take away,
Sheila!

It came from a good place, Gary!

Yeah. So did gender
reveal parties.

You know what? I don't need
your fucking attitude right now.

I'm just gonna go back,
and I'm gonna tweak a few things

and fix this,
so this didn't happen.

Oh, well, go ahead. Go.

Do whatever you want.
'Cause guess what?

I'll still
never wanna be with you.

No, not true. I will reset you.

You'll remember nothing.

- Easy.
- Yeah, yeah.

- I will remember it actually.
- No, you won't remember it.

Yeah, I will.

- Really?
- Yeah.

A sharpie, Gary.

You are so dumb!

Yeah. Sheila sucks balls.

You can't even spell.

That's not going to be there
tomorrow, do you understand?

Fine, yeah. Maybe it won't.

Maybe I won't remember
this conversation.

Maybe I won't remember
this night.

Maybe I won't remember
those two ladies.

But I will remember
this feeling.

Gary, I've done this
hundreds of times.

- And you never remember.
- Oh, yeah?

Were all of our dates
this shitty?

Actually, no.
You used to fucking love them!

Oh, I used to fucking love them.

I wonder what happened.
I don't know.

D... do you realize
you can't erase everything?

No. It's because relationships
need work, Gary.

We just have to work on it.
That's all.

Well, maybe, just maybe you try
to make things better,

but you actually
make them worse.

And maybe some shit sticks.

No. That's not how this works.

No, Gary.
I will prove you wrong.

I will fucking prove you wrong!

Oh, yeah? Good luck!

Personally, I think
that he should feel touched

that somebody cares so deeply

to take away all the pain
of his life.

Oh.

That is a really
romantic gesture.

Oh, it's okay.

No, no, no.
It's fine.

Slowly okay, fine.

Gary.
Here's your sexy pizza, Gary.

Yeah, okay.

Dammit! Wait.

And then the karate instructor,

he did not put up
a fight at all.

It was very surprising.

But then I came over to get you,
little, cute Tatiana.

She doesn't deserve that.
I couldn't do it.

So, you know,
that's why we're here.

Hmm.

Hello?

Oh, maybe next year, Gary.

Shut the door.

Come on.

Cute kid.

He will be.

June.

I did it.

Yeah. I did it right.
I... I undid it, rather. Oh.

Now, me and Gary can go back
to the way things used to be.

Okay.

Mmhmm. Okay, what?

In all the times
that you've done this,

have things ever gone back
to the way they used to be?

Oh, god. You know, you
sound like evil Gary, r.I.P.

Probably is covered
in black marker by now,

whining, "oh,
I have residual feelings.

And when will they ever
go away?"

Shit sticks, my ass.

Well, some shit does stick.

Come on, no!

No! That is not fair.

That is not what we talked
about.

Where is the fucking manual
for this thing?

Sheila, in the 300 plus times
that you've come into this shop,

have you ever once thought
to ask about me, about my life?

No.

I've been very self-involved.
I am not proud of it.

Okay. Well, my parents
wanted a boy.

They wanted a boy so badly
that when I was born,

they called me a mistake.

And then they treated me
like a mistake.

Oh my god.

June, that's terrible.
I'm so sorry.

Yeah. So, when I was old enough
to fend for myself,

I murdered both of them.

What?

- Really?
- No, not really, Sheila.

But I did move to bed-stuy
with a woman who is now my wife.

So, in many ways,
I did murder them.

Oh, wow.

You know, I gotta tell you,
it sounds like you handled

that shit like a champ.

But hello, spoiler alert.

I have a time machine.
I could go back.

Talk to your parents.

Remind them
what a treasure you are.

They'll love you from the start.
And bam, trauma eliminated.

Don't fuck with my trauma,
Sheila.

If I didn't have
these occasional moments

of complete
and total worthlessness,

I wouldn't have this
sparkling sense of humor.

Okay. Wow. Cool.

It's good for you.
But you know, for me,

I have realized
that I can undo anything.

- No, you can't.
- Yes, I can.

No, you can't.

Sometimes, people cut you,
and they leave an imprint

on you, that's like a gash
on your soul.

You just live with it.

And you can't actually
undo that.

If you erase the pain,
you erase the person.

Do you get it, Sheila?

No.

I mean, yes.

I mean, I'm just not gonna
apply it to my situation.

Why?

Because I don't know, June.

People apply
other people's lessons

to their lives all the time
very Willy-nilly.

And before you know, it, bam,
Smithson's president, okay?

Doesn't matter. Listen.

I have a date
with my favorite guy

in the whole world.
Old Gary.

All right? And this time,
I'm gonna make it work.

Bye.

♪ I can't stand the rain
against my window ♪

♪ bringing back
sweet memories ♪

♪ hey, window pane
do you remember ♪

♪ how sweet it used to be ♪

♪ when we was together ♪

♪ everything was so grand ♪

Keeper comes out. Goal!

Oh, what a goal!

Hi.

Oh, hello.

I'm Sheila.

I'm, uh, Gary.

Oh.

It's a fun coaster set up
you got going on there.

Oh, it's embarrassing.

Yeah.

I'm, uh...
I'm a little fucked in the head.

- So...
- Oh, me, too.

It's nice not to be alone.

Um...

I don't exactly know
how to say this,

but i'm... I'm having like
this, uh...

Really weird déjà vu feeling,
and it's... it's really...

Sad.

Um...

Well, I should probably...
Then I should just tell you

that I'm a...
I'm a time traveler.

From the future.

So, I knew everything
you were gonna say

before you said it.

Oh.

Okay. And you'll know that
I'm gonna ask...

To dinner?

Would you like to have dinner
with the time traveler?

Absolutely.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- Let's get the fuck outta here.
- Let's go have dinner.

Okay. All right.

Anyway, my dad
was a traveling alcoholic.

He traveled from bar,
to bar, to bar

until he eventually died.

Can you imagine...
Can you imagine,

like a different bar
every single night

over and over again
until you're dead?

That is so sad.

- There are so many options!
- Yeah.

It's a real Sophie's choice,
huh?

Chad f. On tripadvisor rates
five stars.

"If you haven't eaten here,
your life is garbage."

You like it?

Yeah, I love it.

Uh...

Yeah.

You know, it's, uh,
it's getting a little late.

It's maybe my top three
least favorite Gary sayings

of all time.

Okay, I'll see you tomorrow.

Sheila, look.

I really like you a lot, but...

I think you can drop
the whole time travel thing now.

It was funny at first,
but now it's kinda like,

enough.

Gary, everything
I've told you is true.

Okay.

Um, look. You know, I really

don't wanna believe
what you're saying,

but every time I do,

I... I get like a weird feeling
in my stomach.

Yeah, that's the...
It's the magic between us.

No. It's...

I just... I feel like I'm stuck.
Like...

Like, something's, like...

- Off.
- Off.

- Doesn't feel real.
- Doesn't feel real.

- You can stop, Sheila.
- You can stop, Sheila.

- Stop.
- Stop.

- Seriously, stop!
- Seriously, stop!

Tomorrow can't be that bad.

Yes, it... yes, it can.
Of course, it can.

I mean,
what if the time machine,

you know, what if it stopped
working or it, like, disappears.

Or... and you change your mind,
you never see me again.

And I don't see...

- The time machine?
- Yes! The time machine!

The time machine.
You can't fucking freeze time.

Yes, I can, and I have!

Look.

Tonight has been
the fucking weirdest night

of my life. Okay?

Sometimes, I think
you're the greatest person

I've ever met.

And then there's sometimes

I wanna push you
in front of the fucking train.

- Hmm.
- You know?

And I didn't really know
why I felt that way until now.

It's because this is sick.
Okay? And you need to let me go.

- No.
- Yes.

- No.
- Yes.

- No.
- Please.

I can't. I'm so sorry, I can't.

I can't. I can't. I can't.
I'm sorry. I can't.

Okay. Okay, then you know what?

Maybe I go back in time.

- And I stop you...
- What?

From ever becoming obsessed
with this night

- in the first place.
- No. No, no, no, no.

- You can't do that.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- You can't do that.
- Yeah. Maybe I will.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Maybe... maybe I might.

Maybe I might.
Maybe I'll go back to it.

I know where it is now.
It's at the nail salon, right?

Maybe I pay our old friend
a... is it June?

- Pay her a visit?
- No. You wouldn't do that.

No. No, no. You can't do that.

Well, I don't know
what the fuck is going on,

but I do know that I... I can't.

I can't do this.

This is not... this is not
right.

I'm really sorry, Sheila.

I am really sorry.

You don't understand.

You saved me.

This... this whole night
saved me.

I'm so scared.

Gary, it could be the only thing
that ever makes me happy.

Do you understand that?

Okay, fine.

What?

Fine, we'll...

We'll try it your way.

What do you mean?
What do you mean?

Let's just, uh,
let's try again tomorrow.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

Who knows, maybe...
Maybe tomorrow, we get it right.

So, I'll...

I'll, uh...
I'll see you tomorrow.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Good evening.
You must be Gary.

Jesus Christ.

Does everybody know my name?

Oh.

What can I do for you, Gary?
You want a midnight pedicure?

No. Um...

I'm not exactly sure
how to say this.

- Are you June, by chance?
- Yeah.

'Cause, uh,
I'm here about Sheila.

Who?

Sheila, the time-traveling lady.

Sheila.

She told me that she
comes here, goes back in time.

Mm.

Ah, fuck!

Was she fucking with me?

She was fucking with me,
wasn't she?

Yeah, why would I believe that?
Every time a hot girl's victim.

- Relax, Gary.
- What?

I know who Sheila is.

You probably wanna see
the time machine.

Yes. I want to fucking go
see the time machine. Yes.

Okay.

I wanna prevent this night
from ever happening.

This?

This is the source
of all my problems?

Yeah. But sounds like

you had a pretty sweet
night last night.

Yeah.

Over, and over, and over again
like I'm in some sort

of fucked-up, permanent
purgatory hell.

So, like love.

No, not at all.

She keeps making me do
the same thing.

And what's weird about it
is I like her.

- Oh. So, like a relationship.
- No.

Not like a relationship at all.

I get emotionally involved.

And then somehow get hurt.

And I don't even know
how many times she's done it.

- So, like love.
- No!

'Cause love is... love is real.

This is not. This is very fake.

This is orchestrated.
This is...

Inorganic.

You ever had an organic banana?

Tastes just like
a regular banana.

Okay. What?

I don't know what that means.
But can we do this, please?

Do you know where you're going?

Yeah. I am going back in time
to where it all started.

Wait, wait.
Which is... which is when?

When would... when would that
be?

Um, 1989?

All right, cool.

Hey, that doesn't sound right.
Wait, June.

Wait,
I'm a little claustrophobic.

June. Oh, no.
June, I gotta piss. Hey...

600, apartment 1k.

Here we fuckin' go.

Yeah?

- Hey.
- Come on in.

- You're late.
- What?

- Gary.
- Yeah.

Oh. Oh. She's too young.
I... I came back too far.

I'm... I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I gotta go.

All right, you weirdo.
TV's right there.

Oh, the... right, the...

The TV.

Awesome.

Sheila, don't you bother
this man while he's working.

Mommy's gotta get pretty.

Oh.

I was supposed to come back
to when you were like 16 or 17

so I could, you know, catch you
when you were developing

your crazy,
and maybe help you out.

But you're way too young.

And now, I have to yell
at a little kid

and traumatize you. Fuck.

And watch out for my daughter.

She can be quite dramatic.

She got that from her father.

That, uh... that doesn't...

That's not gonna work.

No matter how hard you...

Hey, guys!

What's going on out there?

Hey. I don't...
I don't think you should...

Please.

- Hi there, little girl.
- Sheila!

Where did you put
mommy's eyeliner?

- Hey!
- Hey.

Please. Please don't cry.

Fuck.

Sheila!

Stop making all that noise.

Sheila!

H... hey! Hey.

Hey, hey, hey. It's okay.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. It's okay.

It's okay.

Hey, can you repeat after me?

Okay?

- It's okay.
- It's okay.

For things to be messy
sometimes.

For things to be
messy sometimes.

Okay?

It's okay.

It's okay.

It's okay. It's okay.
It's always gonna be okay.

I don't know how you did it,
but you got it in there.

Goddammit, I'm runnin' late.

Is it fixed?

Yeah! Working on it.

What is up with your mother?

She never stops.

Okay. Did that make you feel
a little better? Yeah?

June.

Hi.

Uh, hey.
I just wanna come thank you

for the last few months,
or years, I don't know.

Oh, I don't know
how long it's been.

But um, I've been thinkin' a lot
about... about, uh,

giving up control, you know?

And I realized
that that's just not me.

I can't do that.

So, this is me
saying thank you and goodbye.

That's... that's a good color.

That's...
That's my favorite color.

That's a good one.

Sorry, just one more thing.

June.

You would have made a great man.

But...

You make an even better woman.

And I just want you to know
that it has been an honor

to know you
and all your perfect,

perfect weirdness.

You are perfect.
And you are not a mistake.

Goodbye.

Hey, June!

I think I fixed everything.
I think I fixed her.

It turns out, she just
had, like a, you know,

crappy '80s mom.

Um, yeah.

I don't think you fixed her.
You did just miss her, though.

And she didn't sound so good.

So, you should probably go
after her.

Your time machine sucks.

It's so confusing.

Hi.

Here.

Here's my gym card.

Superlotto. I hope you win.

Just take that, too.

Good luck to you.

Hey! Wait! Sheila!

Hey!

Fuck.

Hey, wait!

- Wait!
- Oh.

Sheila, wait!

- Gary.
- Please.

- What are you doing here?
- Just wait.

Go home. What are you doing?
Stop.

- Hey.
- Gary.

- Hey.
- Gary.

Hey! Look at me!

Hey.

It's okay for things to be messy
sometimes, okay?

Remember?

Yes. That's very nice.

That doesn't work on me anymore.

Like everything in my life,
it has lost all meaning.

And I would just really like
for today to be over.

Hey!

Relax.

Relax. Relax.
We'll just wait for tomorrow.

- Okay.
- We will wait.

It's almost tomorrow.

Gary, fuck tomorrow.

Don't fuckin' say that.

- Oh my god.
- Sheila, come on.

There is not a future
that I want to be part of.

Please understand that, okay?

This world
is such a fucked-up place.

And I had like
a thousand chances

to make today okay.

And I fucked
every single one of them up.

And I don't want that
to happen tomorrow.

So, why am I gonna stay
for tomorrow?

Please, please go home.

Please go home,
and just live your life.

And let me end mine
the way I would like to.

Not a chance.

- Not a chance. No.
- Go home!

- I'm not going anywhere!
- Go home!

I'm not going anywhere!

I'll stay here all night.

I don't give a fuck.

You can't.

You cannot stand here
for the rest of your life.

Okay?

Eventually, you have to go
take a piss or order a sandwich,

and I'm still gonna jump
off this bridge.

So, please get the fuck
out of my face.

What if I told you
that I saw the future?

This isn't a game anymore.

Gary, this isn't funny anymore.

- I'm not joking.
- Stop.

- I saw the future.
- No, you didn't.

Yes, I did.

June figured out
how to send it to the future.

She just switched the knob
to the f button.

Look, the point is
is that I saw it.

And it's fucking great.

Okay. Now, I know you're lying.

Okay. All right.

Maybe it's not great, okay?
Maybe it's...

Maybe it's a little messy,
but who the fuck cares?

It's a mess worth
being around for.

Gary, if you saw the future,
you would know

that I'm not in it.

That's the thing.

You are in it.

- No, I'm not.
- And guess what?

You're not jumping off
of this bridge.

Okay, Gary.

I promise you
I am jumping off this bridge.

No, you aren't!

Yes, I am!

You're actually gonna go
to the other side.

Haven't you ever wondered
what's on the other side?

It's fucking right there.

What's on the other side?

You haven't seen the future.

Want me to prove it to you?

You can't.

I can give you proof.

Bye, Gary.

Nope!

I'll see you on the other side,
Sheila.

♪ If I showed up ♪

♪ in the shape of a stone ♪

♪ Would you recognize me? ♪

♪ Strange as it seems
I have known you before ♪

♪ But it was not our time yet ♪

♪ if I go sailing
into the unknown ♪

♪ what are my chances
of ever reaching your shore ♪

So, where did you live?

I lived right there.

Right. I knew that,
because I've seen the future.

Future.

Yeah.

Hey, uh...

- I gotta ask you something.
- What?

Since you've been...

Traveling over, and over,

and over again,
have we ever, uh,

on one of these times ever,
you know?

Gary, come on.

It's only been one night.

But did we though?

Gary,
you're kinda smothering me.

Oh, come on!

♪ Outside my guy ♪

♪ is tryna find
a little spare time ♪

♪ unwind with me a minute
I've got red wine, no lie ♪

♪ and since there's two of us ♪

♪ let's put the tunes on
up loud ♪

♪ I wanna see
what you make me do and how ♪

♪ I know you think
it may be too soon ♪

♪ come 'round
and show me what you've got ♪

♪ I heard you wanna be
in the driver's seat ♪

♪ so, keep up ♪

♪ and do you promise me
that you'll honor me? ♪

♪ Don't give up
'cause it feels right ♪

♪ and if I follow you
I know that I should hesitate ♪

♪ but it feels right ♪

♪ and just the thought of you ♪

♪ gives me the taste
I know I'll crave ♪

♪ but it feels right ♪

♪ and if I follow you
I know that I should hesitate ♪

♪ but it feels right ♪

- Cheers, mate!
- Cheers, mate!

Wow. It's a real Sophie's choice
out here.

Can I get the chicken korma,
please?

- It's really, really good.
- Mm.

And uh, two glasses of the cab.

Do you wanna order, too, Gary?

What?

Are you gonna order?

Caramel, cinnamon, and regret

drizzled on top of breast milk-
flavored ice cream

- and fresh-cut grass.
- Mm!

The cones are inedible.

Don't eat them.

- Oh!
- I'm sorry.

- Oh, it's okay.
- Oh!

Bye, Gary.
I'll see you tomorrow.

- Thirsty?
- Yeah.

I wanna hit that, Phil.
I wanna hit that real hard.

- Happy?
- What can I get you?

- Old-fashioned.
- Old-fashioned.

How adorable!

I'm Sheila.

Hi, Sheila. I'm Gary.

We have old-timey names.

- We do.
- Mmhmm.

Locally sourced sour patch kids

roughly shaved onto a bed
of whimsical

romaine lettuce-flavored gelato.

All right.

Two.

Wow.

Looks kind of peaceful.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Great job, sir.

- Cheers to you.
- To you.

And put money in your hat.

Mmhmm.

Jesus Christ.

What made you wanna go back,
like in time?

- Vacation.
- Oh.

You went on vacation,
so you could hang with me?

Well, I... I just kinda popped
into this bar,

and you were the only one
not watching sports on TV.

- Oh. Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Not really a sports fan?
- No.

- Rare breed.
- Rare breed.

Emulsified donuts

and forgotten
birthday cake pieces

drizzled on top of a black void
with vanilla swirls.

Did you know I was married once?

Get out of here. Just once?

- Uh-huh.
- Okay.

Yes, just once.

But it was five very long years.

Oh, I'm sorry.

What, uh, made you
wanna get out?

Oh.

You're very sweet.
He wanted to get out.

He left me.

Why? Who would ever leave you?

Well,
I'm in a similar situation.

I just got out of a pretty long
year relationship

with a girl named Amber.

Fuck's sake, Gary.

Nothing good comes
from a girl named Amber.

- Old-fashioned.
- Old-fashioned.

How adorable!

Okay, two old-fashioneds,
and you can fuck off, Phil.

- Wait, what?
- Oh, nothing.

Organic red velvet pieces

crushed into a bed
of lost feelings, hopes,

and dreams, drizzled with tears.

Mm.

Yeah, Phil. I'm real thirsty,

but not for your side
commentary.

I'm pretty quenched
on that account. Okay?

So, I gotta ask.

Do you know John Connor?

The Terminator.
'Cause you're from the future.

You know, Michael beihn
was in that movie.

And... and then... and nothing.

It's all just like a big joke
to you, isn't it?

You just don't take any of it
seriously.

It's fine.

Neurotic. I, like, developed
these coping mechanisms,

you know, to keep myself sane.

I wasn't like murdering people!

- Oh, good!
- Like you.

There's a lot of choices
over here.

- There are. Ooh!
- Let's go to this one.

Hi, amit!

So, you wanna tell me
about the future?

What's the point?
You never believe me anyways.

The point is, it's interesting.

- Mm.
- Mm!

So, I have a cat. Uh...

- Old-fashioned.
- Old-fashioned.

I'm allergic to them.

So, I had to get
one of those shaved ones.

- Cheers, mate!
- Cheers, mate!

They're called a "sphinx".

Um, but it's weird.
If you put them up

next to my grandfather,
you kinda can't tell

the difference.

You're not even
gonna remember this.

And it just makes me
so, so, so sad, Gary, you know?

The future is fucked!
Let's liven it up in here.

This place sucks! Hey, Susan!

- Are you mad at me?
- Mm-mm.

- Are you mad at me?
- Mm-mm.

- I'm so sorry.
- Mmhmm?

- I am so sorry?
- Mm-mm.

I see years toge...

Amit, I'm trying to talk here!
What do you see, Gary?

- Um...
- You don't see it.

You don't see it, Gary.

I see... no, I see it.

No, that's fine. A few kids.
And a dog.

- And... and...
- You're just saying that.

It's okay.

Gary!

I guess what I'm tryna say

is I haven't done this
in a long time.

And i'm...
I'm having a lot of fun, so...

It's okay. I get you.
Lucky... lucky for you,

my mouth speaks
before my brain tells it to.

- So, no guesswork.
- I know.

I, uh... I really like that.

Well, you like it now,
but give it a while,

you might get tired of it.

No. No, I won't.

Oh.