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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,088 --> 00:00:06,548 Announcer: This summer... 2 00:00:06,548 --> 00:00:10,260 comes the most anticipated event of the century. 3 00:00:10,260 --> 00:00:13,596 I'm sorry did I break yo' concentration?! 4 00:00:13,596 --> 00:00:15,390 He rocked the world with TainT... 5 00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:17,892 He's paid his dues, and now he's back to collect. 6 00:00:17,892 --> 00:00:19,769 What goes around comes around. 7 00:00:19,769 --> 00:00:21,604 Three nights only. He's taking his solo act 8 00:00:21,604 --> 00:00:23,857 across the Central Valley, starting Friday at 9 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:26,443 Kenny's Lobster Shack in Bakersfield... 10 00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:30,029 Saturday at Penny Lanes Bowling Alley in Fresno... 11 00:00:30,029 --> 00:00:32,198 then Sunday, he's back... 12 00:00:32,198 --> 00:00:34,284 at Kenny's Lobster Shack. 13 00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:36,619 The Theo Hornsby Jr Comeback Tour. 14 00:00:36,619 --> 00:00:38,496 What can I say? I'm just getting started. 15 00:00:38,496 --> 00:00:39,706 Announcer: Brought to you by Royal Crackers. 16 00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:41,082 [ Explosion ] 17 00:00:41,082 --> 00:01:01,936 ♪ 18 00:01:03,980 --> 00:01:07,233 Welp, I've never been more insulted in my life! 19 00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:11,029 Doctor said osteoporosis is giving me uneven legs! 20 00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:14,240 Then she tried to give me orthopedic shoes! 21 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:15,617 I should sue her! 22 00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:18,119 Anywhos, how was everyone else's day-- 23 00:01:18,119 --> 00:01:22,248 [ Gasps ] 24 00:01:22,248 --> 00:01:23,416 Stebe! 25 00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:24,751 What is this? 26 00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:26,336 Well, Theo's on his comeback tour, 27 00:01:26,336 --> 00:01:28,338 I let him borrow the car under the condition 28 00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:30,632 that he'd use Matt as his roadie. 29 00:01:30,632 --> 00:01:33,718 So it looks to me like we have the house all to ourselves. 30 00:01:33,718 --> 00:01:36,930 Ooh, we gonna open up that sofa bed? 31 00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:39,808 Hang out all night right in the living room? 32 00:01:39,808 --> 00:01:41,518 Drinking wine and... 33 00:01:41,518 --> 00:01:42,894 Eating jellybeans. 34 00:01:42,894 --> 00:01:44,479 That's right, babydoll. 35 00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:45,855 Ooh, and guess what. 36 00:01:45,855 --> 00:01:47,857 There's a weekend marathon of-- 37 00:01:47,857 --> 00:01:49,234 Don't you say it! 38 00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:51,611 "Antique-Appraisals." 39 00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:54,072 [ Both growling ] 40 00:01:57,075 --> 00:01:59,118 Hey, Matt, I bet you're wondering how your Uncle Theo 41 00:01:59,118 --> 00:02:01,663 landed this sick venue for his kickoff show, huh? 42 00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:03,873 You wrote your name on that paper? 43 00:02:03,873 --> 00:02:05,750 Yeah, but I convinced them to have an open mic. 44 00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:07,752 The manager here? Happens to be Moey D. 45 00:02:07,752 --> 00:02:10,046 TainT's old hype-man. Now he's just wasting away 46 00:02:10,046 --> 00:02:11,381 at this dead end job. 47 00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:12,674 Sad. 48 00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:14,425 Moey Deeeee! Dude! 49 00:02:14,425 --> 00:02:16,344 You shoulda come on the comeback tour with me! 50 00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:17,679 For old time's sake! Ha! 51 00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:20,098 With my sciatica? Not a chance, bro-bro. 52 00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:22,475 Anyway, I've got my hands full workin' overtime here. 53 00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:24,519 Someone's gotta put my daughter through med school. 54 00:02:24,519 --> 00:02:25,687 Med school! I... 55 00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:28,064 Wow, It's been that long, huh? 56 00:02:28,064 --> 00:02:29,440 Well-- Well, make sure you strap 57 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:31,025 an ankle bracelet on her every morning, dude. 58 00:02:31,025 --> 00:02:33,278 Dwarf chicks are basically chum for human traffickers. 59 00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:35,155 [ Laughs ] I gotta go check on the kitchen. 60 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,447 Good luck tonight, huh? 61 00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:38,199 Gotcha dick! 62 00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:43,037 What the fuck is up, Kenny's Lobster Shack?! 63 00:02:44,789 --> 00:02:47,458 [ "Rusty Hook" plays ] 64 00:02:47,458 --> 00:02:49,460 [ Whistling ] 65 00:02:49,460 --> 00:03:00,763 ♪ 66 00:03:00,763 --> 00:03:02,599 ♪ I've been stuck ♪ 67 00:03:02,599 --> 00:03:05,727 ♪ To this Rusty Hook for the longest time ♪ 68 00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:08,938 [ Diners gasp and cheer ] 69 00:03:08,938 --> 00:03:11,608 ♪ 'Cause I don't know what it means ♪ 70 00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:13,276 [ Cheers and applause ] ♪ To let go-- ♪ 71 00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:14,569 [ Laughter ] 72 00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:16,446 This guy! Moey D: Ladies and gentlemen, 73 00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:18,489 Kenny's Lobster Shack is proud to present 74 00:03:18,489 --> 00:03:20,992 Bakersfield's favorite comedy duo... 75 00:03:20,992 --> 00:03:24,662 Bill Peachknee and his pal Flappy! 76 00:03:24,662 --> 00:03:27,498 [ Cheers and applause ] 77 00:03:29,834 --> 00:03:32,462 How's everyone doing tonight? 78 00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:33,671 What the fuck, Moey?! 79 00:03:33,671 --> 00:03:35,173 I had a badass closer planned! 80 00:03:35,173 --> 00:03:36,966 Dude, it's freakin' Peachknee. 81 00:03:36,966 --> 00:03:40,178 [ As Flappy ] I'm guessing they're not very good after that performance! 82 00:03:40,178 --> 00:03:41,804 [ Normal voice ] Flappy! How dare you! 83 00:03:41,804 --> 00:03:43,264 That's Theo from TainT! 84 00:03:43,264 --> 00:03:45,600 Remember that band from over 20 years ago? 85 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,310 [ As Flappy ] Theo from Taint? 86 00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:50,146 No wonder it smells like balls and butt up here! 87 00:03:50,146 --> 00:03:52,357 [ Laughter ] 88 00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:54,567 Good one! [ Chuckles nervously ] 89 00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:56,110 [ Normal voice ] Flappy, give the poor guy a break. 90 00:03:56,110 --> 00:03:58,404 He's a struggling artist, for crying out loud! 91 00:03:58,404 --> 00:03:59,989 [ As Flappy ] What about the audience? 92 00:03:59,989 --> 00:04:02,825 They were struggling just to stay awake! 93 00:04:02,825 --> 00:04:05,995 Rotate, bud! 94 00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:08,581 Rotate? Yeah, sit on it and spin! 95 00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:12,377 I'd rather let Freddy Krueger give me a rectal exam! 96 00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:14,963 Maybe I can arrange that for you! 97 00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:15,922 Excuse me?! 98 00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:17,715 See you in your nightmares! 99 00:04:17,715 --> 00:04:19,926 [ Laughs evilly ] 100 00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:23,805 What is wrong with this guy? 101 00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:25,890 Hey, no thanks, pal. 102 00:04:25,890 --> 00:04:27,850 [ Laughter grows distant and muffled ] 103 00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:30,687 [ Flappy speaking indistinctly ] 104 00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:40,822 ♪ 105 00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:42,824 Deb: Mmm! Mmm-mmm-mmm. Woman: My goodness, what a fabulous find. 106 00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:44,993 That's armoire's gotta be at least $8,000. 107 00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:47,078 At least. Gotta be. 108 00:04:47,078 --> 00:04:48,830 What are you doing, ya lunatic? 109 00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:50,123 Gimme some jellybeans! 110 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:53,543 Make me, you stupid idiot! 111 00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:54,836 Stop it, you stinker! 112 00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:56,587 Ow! Ooh, Hon, are you okay? 113 00:04:56,587 --> 00:04:59,007 Did I hurt your little balls? 114 00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:02,719 CBD gummies? 115 00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:05,013 These must be Theo's! Oh, my God! 116 00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:06,723 He's using drugs? 117 00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:08,391 In your father's house! 118 00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:11,060 I can't believe him! What, is he trying to tempt us 119 00:05:11,060 --> 00:05:12,395 to ruin our lives, too? 120 00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:14,063 Honestly, I just feel bad for him, Deb. 121 00:05:14,063 --> 00:05:15,606 I mean he can't go through a single day 122 00:05:15,606 --> 00:05:17,525 without putting junk in his body? 123 00:05:17,525 --> 00:05:19,360 Sad. Yeah, when have we ever 124 00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:22,071 needed drugs to go buck wild, right? 125 00:05:22,071 --> 00:05:23,364 Y-Yeah, right. 126 00:05:23,364 --> 00:05:26,075 Yeah, we can get pretty crazy without. 127 00:05:26,075 --> 00:05:27,368 Heh. 128 00:05:27,368 --> 00:05:29,537 [ Both sigh ] 129 00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:32,790 Theo: Can you believe this? 20 years ago, 130 00:05:32,790 --> 00:05:34,250 groupies were ripping each other apart 131 00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:35,752 just to get to the front row so they could look up 132 00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:38,254 my board shorts and catch a peek of my massive dong! 133 00:05:38,254 --> 00:05:40,423 Now I'm being bumped by some hack and his puppet? 134 00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:41,799 I thought you liked him. 135 00:05:41,799 --> 00:05:43,134 You were laughing at all his jokes. 136 00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:44,761 Because I felt sorry for him, dude! 137 00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:46,554 He was bombing up there! I'm telling you-- 138 00:05:46,554 --> 00:05:49,098 Peachknee better pray I don't run into him on the streets. 139 00:05:49,098 --> 00:05:52,602 Otherwise it'll be, "Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!" 140 00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:54,896 Uncle Theo, what's going on with you?! "Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!" 141 00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:56,230 You're scaring me! 142 00:05:56,230 --> 00:05:57,315 Aah! 143 00:05:57,315 --> 00:05:59,400 [ Tires screech ] 144 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,903 [ Both panting ] 145 00:06:07,992 --> 00:06:09,744 Did you do that on purpose?! 146 00:06:09,744 --> 00:06:10,953 Yes! 147 00:06:10,953 --> 00:06:12,163 I-I mean, no! 148 00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:13,706 Sorry, I don't like admitting mistakes. 149 00:06:13,706 --> 00:06:15,291 Quick, grab his legs and let's get him into the trunk. 150 00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:17,627 What?! No! We-- We should just call 151 00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:19,003 the police and tell them what happened! 152 00:06:19,003 --> 00:06:20,797 Matt! I'm driving around high as fuck 153 00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:22,799 on CBD gummies! Plus, after all those people 154 00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:24,592 saw me humiliate the shit out of him tonight, 155 00:06:24,592 --> 00:06:26,219 I'll be suspect numero uno, dude! 156 00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:27,929 Then what would happen? You'd go to prison. 157 00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:29,472 Please. I ain't afraid of prison. 158 00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:32,141 I'd be runnin' that place. You? You on the other hand? 159 00:06:32,141 --> 00:06:33,976 I'm laughing just thinking about it. 160 00:06:33,976 --> 00:06:35,478 Matt, if I get arrested for this, 161 00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:36,729 we'll miss the show tomorrow. 162 00:06:36,729 --> 00:06:38,481 You wanna upset my Fresno fans? 163 00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:40,441 Be my guest. But they're loco. 164 00:06:40,441 --> 00:06:42,151 And you better believe my one phone call's 165 00:06:42,151 --> 00:06:44,153 gonna go to my web guy! He's gonna post on my site 166 00:06:44,153 --> 00:06:46,239 that it was Matt Hornsby who didn't let me rock 167 00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:47,490 Fresno's brains out. 168 00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:49,200 We're in this together. 169 00:06:51,410 --> 00:06:53,162 Welcome back to "Comix Off the Leash." 170 00:06:53,162 --> 00:06:54,664 So, Jay, what do you think the Olympics'd be like 171 00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:56,666 if comic book characters were allowed to compete? 172 00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:58,042 [ Telephone rings ] 173 00:06:58,042 --> 00:06:59,627 - Hello? - Darbyyyyyy! 174 00:06:59,627 --> 00:07:01,003 Theooo! 175 00:07:01,003 --> 00:07:02,547 How's the tour going, my dude? 176 00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:04,507 Oh, you know. Sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll. 177 00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:06,342 AKA the ush'. Ha ha! 178 00:07:06,342 --> 00:07:09,637 Hey, make sure you go easy on those CBD gummies, my guy! 179 00:07:09,637 --> 00:07:11,347 Pshh! Come on, guy. I'm a pro. 180 00:07:11,347 --> 00:07:13,933 That you are, Theo! That you are! 181 00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:15,852 So listen, I killed a guy last night. 182 00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:17,061 What the hell?! 183 00:07:17,061 --> 00:07:18,563 Hey, hey! It was an accident. 184 00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:20,314 You know how hard it is for me to admit mistakes! 185 00:07:20,314 --> 00:07:21,607 Give me some credit, dude! 186 00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:23,901 I'm sorry. I am happy to hear that. 187 00:07:23,901 --> 00:07:25,528 I know that's not easy for you. 188 00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:28,030 Thank you! I feel like I'm making real progress out here. 189 00:07:28,030 --> 00:07:29,448 Well, yeah, you needed this. 190 00:07:29,448 --> 00:07:31,659 I did, right? I've been so irritable lately. 191 00:07:31,659 --> 00:07:33,202 I mean, you saw it. I was stressed 192 00:07:33,202 --> 00:07:35,037 with work and... 193 00:07:35,037 --> 00:07:36,706 mu-- music. 194 00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:38,916 What about that fat kid? How's he holding up? 195 00:07:38,916 --> 00:07:40,585 [ As Flappy ] Hey, kids. [ Normal voice ] Hey, kids. 196 00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:42,044 Ugh. Don't get me started. 197 00:07:42,044 --> 00:07:44,172 Listen, Darby, I need to get rid of a dead body. 198 00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:45,298 Dead body?! 199 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,549 Yeah, and we need to act fast. 200 00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:47,842 Car's starting to smell like shit. 201 00:07:47,842 --> 00:07:49,218 Why didn't you call me last night?! 202 00:07:49,218 --> 00:07:50,553 Because I needed a good night's sleep 203 00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:52,013 to get my mind sharp, Darby! 204 00:07:52,013 --> 00:07:53,723 One slip up here and we could all go to jail. 205 00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:55,308 Slept like a baby, by the way. 206 00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:56,893 You're welcome. Okay, look. 207 00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:58,311 Your dad has a guy in Fresno, 208 00:07:58,311 --> 00:07:59,937 but we haven't used him in a while. 209 00:07:59,937 --> 00:08:02,148 I'll make contact and try to get you a meet. 210 00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:04,734 But no promises! 211 00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:08,112 Okay, I printed out some of my Facebook research. 212 00:08:08,112 --> 00:08:11,240 There's been no reported cases of an overdose, 213 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:13,910 so we'll take that with a grain of salt. 214 00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:16,913 Uh, let's see, side effects may include nausea, 215 00:08:16,913 --> 00:08:18,789 fatigue, and irritability. 216 00:08:18,789 --> 00:08:21,209 So we'll need to follow the directions to a "T." 217 00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:23,461 Way ahead of you. Read them over a hundred times now. 218 00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:25,046 It says to take no more than three, 219 00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:27,715 otherwise we could be playing a very dangerous game here. 220 00:08:27,715 --> 00:08:31,177 You ready? Well, here goes nothing. 221 00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:36,098 Mmm! Not bad. 222 00:08:36,098 --> 00:08:38,267 [ Gasps ] 223 00:08:38,267 --> 00:08:39,727 Stebe! 224 00:08:40,811 --> 00:08:42,897 [ As Flappy ] Careful, kid! I'd skip the sausage 225 00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:44,941 if I were you! From the smell of things, 226 00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:47,777 I'd say the last guy that ate here didn't make it out alive. 227 00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:49,445 Oh, is that right? You eat at a lot of 228 00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:51,781 fancy places, Flappy? Why don't you name us one? 229 00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:53,407 [ Normal voice ] I think he-- No, no, let him answer. 230 00:08:53,407 --> 00:08:55,451 What Michelin Star restaurant have you been to, dude? 231 00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:57,703 Please, indulge us! Uh, I, uh... 232 00:08:57,703 --> 00:09:00,206 Yeah, why don't you take an improv class, you jackass? 233 00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:01,582 Goddamn, where is this guy? 234 00:09:01,582 --> 00:09:03,292 He was supposed to be here 15 minutes ago. 235 00:09:03,292 --> 00:09:05,461 Alright, gentlemen, I'm gonna need your undivided attention. 236 00:09:05,461 --> 00:09:07,505 I talk fast and I act fast. Try to keep up 237 00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:09,131 because I don't have time to repeat myself. 238 00:09:09,131 --> 00:09:11,968 Nod once if you understand. 239 00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:14,220 Good. Were you both in Senator Johnson's 240 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,430 suite last night for the private party? 241 00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:19,809 I don't have time to play games, gentlemen. 242 00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:21,560 I need you to make an effort to answer fast. 243 00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:23,562 Lynx! Mr. Lynx! 244 00:09:23,562 --> 00:09:25,606 Enjoy your breakfast, gentlemen. 245 00:09:25,606 --> 00:09:27,817 Man: Aaaah! [ Farts loudly ] 246 00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:29,068 [ Grunting, crashing ] 247 00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:30,987 [ Toilet flushes ] Phew! [ Farts ] 248 00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:32,321 Hi, I'm your fixer! 249 00:09:32,321 --> 00:09:35,199 You fellas ready to get rid of a body! 250 00:09:38,619 --> 00:09:40,246 [ Yelling ] What's got you shook up, boys? 251 00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:42,707 Don't be scared! Tell me where the dead body is 252 00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:43,833 and we can get to work! 253 00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:45,167 Jesus Christ, keep your voice down! 254 00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:46,794 The whole restaurant's looking at us! 255 00:09:46,794 --> 00:09:48,421 Nothing to see here, people! 256 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:51,007 These fellas and I are just havin' a chat 257 00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:52,633 about the latest airing 258 00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:55,845 of "The Procter & Gamble Mystery Hour"! 259 00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:57,305 Satisfied, Mussolini? 260 00:09:57,305 --> 00:09:58,973 Yeah, good cover. Look, guy! 261 00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:00,850 I have a show at Penny Lanes Bowling Alley tonight 262 00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:02,226 and I have "equipment" in my trunk 263 00:10:02,226 --> 00:10:04,186 that we need to "unpack." Capiche? 264 00:10:04,186 --> 00:10:06,188 You're doing the Penny Lanes Open Mic? 265 00:10:06,188 --> 00:10:08,733 I go up there every weekend! But first things first, 266 00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:10,609 if we're gonna bury this dead body, 267 00:10:10,609 --> 00:10:12,361 we need to do some housekeeping. 268 00:10:12,361 --> 00:10:14,864 This ain't an episode of "The Procter & Gamble 269 00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:17,325 Mystery Hour." We're gonna need to steal 270 00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:19,702 the icebox of this here cafeteria. 271 00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:21,537 If we can't get into the kitchen, 272 00:10:21,537 --> 00:10:24,123 I'll whip out my trusty Derringer 273 00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:26,167 and blow my brains out! 274 00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:29,086 That'll buy you boys enough time to run for the hills. 275 00:10:29,086 --> 00:10:32,631 But no icebox, so I guess we'll have failed. 276 00:10:32,631 --> 00:10:34,050 Ready? On three! 277 00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:35,718 [ As Flappy ] You're a straight shooter, old man! 278 00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:37,303 I'm here for it! No, stop! 279 00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:38,888 Dude, is it just ice that we need? 280 00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:40,890 We need to preserve this body, mack! 281 00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:43,684 Don't need the bulls to come sniffin' around the area 282 00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:44,894 and catching a whiff! 283 00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:46,687 We can't put ice in the trunk, you dipshit! 284 00:10:46,687 --> 00:10:48,939 I got my equipment back there! Yeah, exactly. 285 00:10:48,939 --> 00:10:51,734 No, I mean like my real equipment. 286 00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:53,986 Wait, what are we talking about here? 287 00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:58,407 So what'd this fella do to earn a one-way ticket 288 00:10:58,407 --> 00:11:00,826 to Trunksville, anyway? He made fun of my show. 289 00:11:00,826 --> 00:11:02,036 Everyone take note. 290 00:11:02,036 --> 00:11:05,456 You don't disrespect another man's art! 291 00:11:05,456 --> 00:11:08,084 You hear me?! 292 00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:11,087 Boys, add the dry ice. 293 00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:13,714 This'll keep our friend smellin' like daisies 294 00:11:13,714 --> 00:11:15,257 and it won't ruin your gear. 295 00:11:15,257 --> 00:11:17,927 We used to eat this stuff right off of the vine! 296 00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:20,554 Alright, we need supplies. Shovels and the lot. 297 00:11:20,554 --> 00:11:22,473 Where's the nearest Sears Roebuck? 298 00:11:22,473 --> 00:11:25,768 [ "Rusty Hook" playing on radio ] 299 00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:27,978 Hey! What's this on the ol' gramophone? 300 00:11:27,978 --> 00:11:30,106 It's my new single. It's called "Rusty Hook." 301 00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:31,607 You like it? It's derivative! 302 00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:33,401 Want some constructive feedback, kid? 303 00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:36,028 This day and age, you gotta have something groundbreaking 304 00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:37,613 to make a real splash. 305 00:11:37,613 --> 00:11:39,740 Ha! Please. You're not even my demo, bro. 306 00:11:39,740 --> 00:11:41,742 In fact, I'd be worried if you did like it. 307 00:11:41,742 --> 00:11:44,286 Nah, sorry. I'm gonna keep doing me. 308 00:11:44,286 --> 00:11:47,039 "Keep doing me." I like that. 309 00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:48,833 So where are we burying this talentless hack? 310 00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:50,751 Probably need a nice quiet, undeveloped spot 311 00:11:50,751 --> 00:11:52,253 with no prying eyes, huh? 312 00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:54,130 What about quicksand? Quicksand! 313 00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:56,465 Yeah, Matt. Let's go find some quicksand, 314 00:11:56,465 --> 00:11:58,426 or call the tooth fairy and ask her to take the body 315 00:11:58,426 --> 00:11:59,635 to Never Never Land. 316 00:11:59,635 --> 00:12:01,679 I got a few of my favorite spots in mind. 317 00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:04,557 Just keep driving and I'll tell you where to stop. 318 00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:07,476 ♪ Well, I left my home in Louisiana ♪ 319 00:12:07,476 --> 00:12:09,979 ♪ To find some gold in California ♪ 320 00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:14,442 ♪ So I packed my bags and headed east ♪ 321 00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:17,486 ♪ Well, halfway there, I started to reckon ♪ 322 00:12:17,486 --> 00:12:19,947 ♪ I was going in the wrong direction ♪ 323 00:12:19,947 --> 00:12:24,160 ♪ Now I'm stuck in Tennessee ♪ 324 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:29,415 ♪ Yeah, I broke down at a rest area in Memphis ♪ 325 00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:31,500 ♪ And a couple of guys... ♪ 326 00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:33,461 [ Tires screech ] 327 00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:35,254 Hey, you shriveled nutsack! 328 00:12:35,254 --> 00:12:36,630 I got a gig tonight, remember?! 329 00:12:36,630 --> 00:12:38,090 Can't you find one spot that hasn't been 330 00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:39,467 overrun by corporate interests? 331 00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:41,135 Announcer: Attention Central Valley! 332 00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:43,554 This is a Silver Alert. An elderly man went missing 333 00:12:43,554 --> 00:12:46,348 from the Hidden Pines Nursing Home in Fresno this morning. 334 00:12:46,348 --> 00:12:48,142 Be on the lookout for a super old man 335 00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:50,519 with a big-ass nose, gross wiry hair 336 00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:52,938 protruding from his ears, and known to make 337 00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:55,399 multiple references to "The Procter & Gamble 338 00:12:55,399 --> 00:12:59,236 Mystery Hour." Whatever that is. 339 00:12:59,236 --> 00:13:01,780 Feel bad for that guy. Did you hear him? 340 00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:03,866 He's never heard of "The Procter & Gamble 341 00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:06,410 Mystery Hour." Sad. 342 00:13:06,410 --> 00:13:07,703 Are you kidding me right now, dude?! 343 00:13:07,703 --> 00:13:09,038 Are you even a real fixer! 344 00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:10,706 Watch your tongue, boy! 345 00:13:10,706 --> 00:13:13,125 I was once the best in my day. 346 00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:15,920 But I got old. And now I'm locked in that 347 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,714 goddamn prison of a nursing home! 348 00:13:18,714 --> 00:13:20,674 Sure, they let me out once a week for 349 00:13:20,674 --> 00:13:23,177 the Penny Lanes Open Mic. But guess what! 350 00:13:23,177 --> 00:13:25,387 The open mic'ers fucking hate me! 351 00:13:25,387 --> 00:13:29,141 When I try to hang out, they all give me fake phone numbers! 352 00:13:29,141 --> 00:13:31,143 Sometimes I'll spend all day 353 00:13:31,143 --> 00:13:33,562 trying different numbers for each digit 354 00:13:33,562 --> 00:13:36,232 hoping that maybe Bryce misspoke 355 00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:38,067 when he said one of the numbers! 356 00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:40,819 Nope! I end up calling half the town 357 00:13:40,819 --> 00:13:44,323 just to hear them tell me they don't know a Bryce 358 00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:46,700 and to stop bothering them! 359 00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:49,537 I'm all alone. So when your man called me 360 00:13:49,537 --> 00:13:52,456 about this job, I was thrilled. 361 00:13:52,456 --> 00:13:55,376 I figured if I could do one more tour of duty, 362 00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:59,588 then this could be my chance to make a comeback. 363 00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:02,591 Wow. This is like looking into 364 00:14:02,591 --> 00:14:04,760 whatever the opposite of a mirror is. 365 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,262 Matt: [ As Flappy ] It's called a window, you dummy! 366 00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:07,680 Hey, if we're gonna be here for a while, 367 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,557 you mind flippin' that phonograph back on? 368 00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:11,350 But not that crappy song of yours, Theo. 369 00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:13,227 Do not disrespect another man's art! 370 00:14:13,227 --> 00:14:14,436 Do you hear me?! 371 00:14:14,436 --> 00:14:15,813 [ Grunting ] 372 00:14:15,813 --> 00:14:17,773 [ Siren chirps ] 373 00:14:20,150 --> 00:14:22,111 [ Both breathing heavily ] Oh, God. 374 00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:24,363 [ Distorted voice speaking on TV ] 375 00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:27,157 [ High-pitched ringing ] 376 00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:32,454 It's-- It's not going away! I can't breathe! 377 00:14:32,454 --> 00:14:34,707 I-I'm breathing really fast! Is that happening to you? 378 00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:37,251 You said three and we should be fine! 379 00:14:37,251 --> 00:14:39,003 Why would you say that thing to me?! 380 00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:40,629 I don't know, that was days ago! 381 00:14:40,629 --> 00:14:42,423 Or hours or minutes. I don't know! 382 00:14:42,423 --> 00:14:44,216 Do you want me to be dead?! 383 00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:45,884 Time has no meaning anymore! 384 00:14:45,884 --> 00:14:47,970 Oh, my God, now it's happening to me. 385 00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,638 I can't stop breathing! 386 00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:50,848 We're dying. Is that normal? 387 00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:52,057 We're dying! Is it normal 388 00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:53,642 to not be able to stop breathing? 389 00:14:53,642 --> 00:14:55,769 We have to get to the hospital. We have to go now! 390 00:14:55,769 --> 00:14:58,397 Stebe, we don't have a car! 391 00:15:02,109 --> 00:15:04,028 Get in, bitch! 392 00:15:04,028 --> 00:15:05,821 How do you even know how to do that? 393 00:15:05,821 --> 00:15:07,323 I have no idea! It's like I'm watching 394 00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:09,033 someone else do it! [ Engine starts ] 395 00:15:09,033 --> 00:15:11,243 Hold on to your tits! 396 00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:12,745 [ Tires squeal ] 397 00:15:14,705 --> 00:15:17,291 Good evening. Are you aware that your trunk 398 00:15:17,291 --> 00:15:18,500 is on fire, sir? 399 00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:21,003 Oh. Ha, that? That's just dry ice. 400 00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:22,713 Special effects for my big show tonight. 401 00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:24,882 I'm Theo from TainT. Maybe you've heard of me? 402 00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:27,718 No, I have not. Well, it's pretty anti-authority, 403 00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:29,136 so you probably wouldn't like it. 404 00:15:29,136 --> 00:15:30,804 I'd be bummed if you were into it. 405 00:15:30,804 --> 00:15:32,473 [ As Flappy ] Do you want anyone to listen to your music? 406 00:15:32,473 --> 00:15:34,016 Shut the fuck up, Flappy! 407 00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:36,977 Well, just wanted to make sure you guys are alright. 408 00:15:36,977 --> 00:15:39,229 And you should get this fixed. 409 00:15:42,107 --> 00:15:43,609 Whew. Thank God. 410 00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:46,111 That was a lot easier than I expected. 411 00:15:47,863 --> 00:15:50,699 No witnesses. 412 00:15:51,867 --> 00:15:54,244 [ Slow motion ] Nooooooooooooo! 413 00:15:54,244 --> 00:15:56,872 Noooooo! 414 00:15:57,289 --> 00:15:59,500 Noooooo! 415 00:16:00,501 --> 00:16:02,628 Ow! What the hell was that?! 416 00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:05,214 I shot you. 417 00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:07,508 [ Stebe yelling ] 418 00:16:09,093 --> 00:16:11,845 Stebe. I can't hold on much longer. 419 00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:13,222 We're almost at the hospital, Deb! 420 00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:16,225 This is my last breath. 421 00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:17,601 I can't believe this. 422 00:16:17,601 --> 00:16:19,812 First Theo takes my car against my will, 423 00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:22,898 and now he kills my wife and I with his CBD treats? 424 00:16:22,898 --> 00:16:25,067 Um, Stebe? Who does he think he is? 425 00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:27,236 Thinks he's the coolest guy in the family? 426 00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:28,821 I can be cool, too, you know. 427 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:31,949 He'll be sorry. People should be scared of me! 428 00:16:31,949 --> 00:16:33,742 I swear to God! The next time I see him 429 00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:35,744 it's gonna be like, "Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!" 430 00:16:35,744 --> 00:16:37,913 What has gotten into you? You're scaring me! 431 00:16:37,913 --> 00:16:40,249 Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Stebe, stop saying pop! 432 00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:42,126 Pop! 433 00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:44,586 [ Grunting ] 434 00:16:44,586 --> 00:16:46,255 [ Explosion ] 435 00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:50,551 Well, sorry I made you miss your show, youngster. 436 00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:51,802 I feel terrible. 437 00:16:51,802 --> 00:16:54,430 Miss my show?! You ruined my fucking life! 438 00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:55,973 I wish I was at Penny Lanes right now 439 00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:57,725 so I could hang out with Bryce and trade stories 440 00:16:57,725 --> 00:16:59,268 about what an asshole you are! 441 00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:01,270 Oh, you know Bryce? 442 00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:03,522 Hey! You're using things I told you 443 00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:05,858 in a vulnerable moment to hurt me? 444 00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:08,402 You have any idea how toxic that is? 445 00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:10,487 You realize this was my chance to get back on top? 446 00:17:10,487 --> 00:17:12,114 To make a name for myself again. 447 00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:13,657 You know how many nights a week I dream about 448 00:17:13,657 --> 00:17:15,075 finally getting on "TRL"? 449 00:17:15,075 --> 00:17:16,285 Is that still on? 450 00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:17,578 I don't know. 451 00:17:17,578 --> 00:17:19,246 I stopped watching years ago 'cause every day 452 00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:20,789 it would break my heart that I wasn't on there 453 00:17:20,789 --> 00:17:22,124 cracking jokes with Carson... [ Grunts ] 454 00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:23,709 ...doing an uncomfortable joint interview 455 00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:25,043 with Eminem or Mariah Carey, 456 00:17:25,043 --> 00:17:26,962 coming in and hyping up those adoring fans 457 00:17:26,962 --> 00:17:29,131 uncomfortably sitting Indian style on the floor! 458 00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:31,884 I'm sorry your career dried up, but I still had dreams! 459 00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,844 And you killed them all! 460 00:17:33,844 --> 00:17:36,013 [ Groans ] Fixer? You okay? 461 00:17:36,013 --> 00:17:37,055 Help! 462 00:17:37,055 --> 00:17:38,849 Back away! 463 00:17:40,434 --> 00:17:41,894 Let's move! 464 00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:43,145 We're getting you out of here, 465 00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:45,606 and one day, you're gonna be on MTV 466 00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:49,943 standing awkwardly with Carson fucking Daly. 467 00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:53,363 Hey! Stop right there! 468 00:17:58,452 --> 00:18:00,204 There's the car! 469 00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:02,831 Fixer: Aah! 470 00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:05,542 Get in! 471 00:18:05,542 --> 00:18:07,461 Theo: Oh, man, when Darby hears about this, 472 00:18:07,461 --> 00:18:08,837 he's going to go buck! 473 00:18:08,837 --> 00:18:10,547 Y'all should be ashamed of your damn selves! 474 00:18:10,547 --> 00:18:12,966 I was out here having a nice quiet weekend 475 00:18:12,966 --> 00:18:15,344 catching up on my "Comix Off the Leash" episodes! 476 00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:17,679 Then I get a call from my cousin at the precinct 477 00:18:17,679 --> 00:18:19,598 telling me he's got two white drug addicts 478 00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:22,768 in the middle of an overdose who won't stop saying my name! 479 00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:24,311 What the hell are you doing fucking around 480 00:18:24,311 --> 00:18:26,063 with CBD gummies anyways?! 481 00:18:26,063 --> 00:18:27,981 We wanted to be buck wild. 482 00:18:27,981 --> 00:18:29,525 By doing hard drugs?! 483 00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:31,693 Oldest tale in the book! 484 00:18:31,693 --> 00:18:34,238 That ain't you, Stebe, and that ain't you, Deb! 485 00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:37,157 This weekend, I've had to bail you out with your overdose, 486 00:18:37,157 --> 00:18:39,743 I've had to bail Theo out with... 487 00:18:39,743 --> 00:18:41,995 y-you know, whatever he's gettin' into over there. 488 00:18:41,995 --> 00:18:44,540 All because no one in this family can just be comfortable 489 00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:46,291 with who they are or where they're at! 490 00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:49,837 The faster y'all realize that, the faster I can finally die! 491 00:18:50,879 --> 00:18:52,673 Hey, Darby, 492 00:18:52,673 --> 00:18:55,050 do you believe in the multiverse? 493 00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:56,510 And can you explain it to us? 494 00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:58,220 Jesus Christ! You're still as high as 495 00:18:58,220 --> 00:18:59,555 some goddamn kites! 496 00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:00,722 I'm outta here! 497 00:19:00,722 --> 00:19:01,932 [ Door slams ] 498 00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:06,854 Holy shit, quicksand's real? 499 00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:08,522 Told you, Uncle Theo. 500 00:19:08,522 --> 00:19:10,357 I guess I made another mistake. 501 00:19:12,734 --> 00:19:15,529 Whew! I need a rest. 502 00:19:18,448 --> 00:19:20,367 Hey, Fixer? I uh... 503 00:19:20,367 --> 00:19:22,077 I'm sorry about what I said back there. 504 00:19:22,077 --> 00:19:24,788 The truth is I know exactly how you feel. 505 00:19:24,788 --> 00:19:28,083 No one knows who I am anymore, my fans are all old as shit. 506 00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:30,252 I spend all my energy running away from that. 507 00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:31,670 But you know what? 508 00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:33,672 Watching you strap up your boots one more time to help me 509 00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:34,756 bury this talentless hack? 510 00:19:34,756 --> 00:19:37,259 Well, it was real inspiring. 511 00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:38,802 Well, hold your applause. 512 00:19:38,802 --> 00:19:42,180 You still haven't seen my closer. 513 00:19:42,180 --> 00:19:44,433 What? Someone's gotta drive that truck 514 00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:46,643 into the quicksand. It ain't gonna be you. 515 00:19:46,643 --> 00:19:50,314 And something tells me that kid is too fat to drive. 516 00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:51,815 What? No! Fixer, don't! 517 00:19:51,815 --> 00:19:53,025 We can figure out another way! 518 00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:54,776 There is no other way, Theo. 519 00:19:54,776 --> 00:19:58,614 You and me? We live and die for our art. 520 00:19:58,614 --> 00:20:02,117 There's one more piece of evidence we gotta get rid of. 521 00:20:03,952 --> 00:20:05,704 [ As Flappy ] But I-I don't wanna go. 522 00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:07,289 Matt, that's enough, we gotta-- 523 00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:09,541 Wait! I just-- I wanted to tell you 524 00:20:09,541 --> 00:20:11,585 I actually did like your set last night. 525 00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:13,003 What? Shut up! 526 00:20:13,003 --> 00:20:14,463 I didn't even get through the whole song. 527 00:20:14,463 --> 00:20:16,632 But it had good bones! You should keep at it. 528 00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:19,301 I think pretty soon, you'll be bigger than you've ever been. 529 00:20:19,301 --> 00:20:20,928 [ Chuckles ] Wow, thanks, Flappy. 530 00:20:20,928 --> 00:20:23,263 You really think I'm good? Yeah! 531 00:20:23,263 --> 00:20:25,390 For me to poop on! 532 00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:29,353 Put the fucking doll in the truck. 533 00:20:30,938 --> 00:20:34,149 [ Engine starts ] 534 00:20:34,149 --> 00:20:36,568 Hey, Theo. 535 00:20:36,568 --> 00:20:39,571 You keep doing you. 536 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,492 They'll come around. 537 00:20:43,492 --> 00:21:09,851 ♪ 538 00:21:12,646 --> 00:21:14,272 ♪ 539 00:21:14,272 --> 00:21:17,359 [ Whistling ] 540 00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:31,873 ♪ I've been stuck to this Rusty Hook ♪ 541 00:21:31,873 --> 00:21:35,627 ♪ For the longest time ♪ 542 00:21:35,627 --> 00:21:39,047 ♪ 'Cause I don't know what it means ♪ 543 00:21:39,047 --> 00:21:41,466 ♪ To let go ♪ 544 00:21:55,230 --> 00:21:57,190 Chirp. 545 00:21:57,240 --> 00:22:01,790 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 40575

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